Work Text:
the dumbasses of sv
punzo
how do you make an explosion i need an excuse to get out of this class
wilbur
Google says: Peroxides (inorganic), when mixed with combustible materials, barium, sodium, and potassium, form explosives that ignite easily. Phosphorus (P), both red and white, forms explosive mixtures with oxidizing agents.
tommyinnit (big man)
oh wow a google definition
tubbo
i hate google
ranboo
if you drop pure sodium in water it caused the water to go boom
tubbo
i like booms
ranboo
it's not a nuke, tubbo
tubbo
that’s sad
foolish :)
when in doubt, alkali metal and water
tommyinnit (big man)
what the fuck us alkali metal
tubbo
i don’t know either
foolish :)
how did either of you pass sixth grade? sighs.
tommyinnit (big man)
tubbo i have a google definition
Group 1A (or IA) of the periodic table are the alkali metals: hydrogen (H), lithium (Li), sodium (Na), potassium (K), rubidium (Rb), cesium (Cs), and francium (Fr). These are (except for hydrogen) soft, shiny, low-melting, highly reactive metals, which tarnish when exposed to air.
punzo
can we please get back to the topic at hand
ranboo
take some sodium, put it in water
simplest way to explain that for you
punzo
sounds like an amazing idea thank you ranboo
ranboo
you’re welcome :)
tubbo
i wonder how you would bury a body, ranboo
ranboo
well first-
punz turned off his phone, he no longer wanted to listen to their advice, their advice was hard to understand anyway. however, he could always do what ranboo told him to do.
(or, i don’t know he could pay attention to the class and not get an F on every test he takes for it, but that would be too smart of him to do)
what he could do is listen to ranboo or take random chemicals and mix them up and see what happens from there.
he glanced at the glass vial that was set up on the counter and poured one into the bottle in front of him, they were supposed to be doing a harmless experiment but punz wasn’t even paying attention in the first place.
taking one of the vials with a blue liquid instead of an orange one the last time.
it did nothing, okay so that didn’t work. punz poured the liquids down the drain and glanced back at his phone, turning it on to reread what ranboo had said.
punz put the bottle under the tap and turned it on, letting it fill with room temperature tap water and turning it off when he felt like it was full enough.
he looked around for the little bottle he could recognize to be sodium, and it didn’t take very long until he found it and was already dumping it in by the time the teacher asked what he was doing.
it quickly had a reaction, bubbling up as his chemistry teacher started to scream at him. he only smiled slightly, glancing at the door with a hand on the pant pocket he shoved his phone into.
the teacher let it have no more than even a simple bubble before she was dumping the bottle down the drain, and glaring at punz.
“i didn’t know it was going to do that!” he tried to reason with the teacher, saying he wasn’t paying attention to what he was doing.
punz shut up when he realized his teacher was not having it, and set him to the office. he didn’t have to go, he wasn’t going to go.
it wasn’t about to be his seventh trip to the office in the span of a few weeks, his mother would kill him if she found out, so he opted to just sit in the bathroom until his next class.
pulling up his phone as he sat on the floor of one of the stall’s in the back.
punzo
i got sent to the office
tubbo
then why are you on your phone
punzo
i didnt go
why would i
tommyinnit (big man)
how many times have you been to the office or SENT to the office in the last month?
punzo
like, fifteen
tommyinnit (big man)
that’s a wonderful number
foolish :)
man, you need to stop getting in trouble, how many have you ever gone listened to in the last month?
punzo
six times, wouldn’t have gone the third time if a teacher didn’t escort me there.
wilbur
uh bro the principal is looking for you, your chem teacher called and said you would be going to the office for your terrible behavior
punzo
oh shit
tubbo
its okay just burst into tears immediately
say the teacher wrongly accused you of doing it on purpose
tommyinnit (big man)
would that work because my english teacher is trying to fight me about not doing an assignment correctly
tubbo
i do it to my english teacher when she asks why there are so many grammar errors
i burst into tears
punzo
thank you i’ll be taking that and hopefully it works
tubbo
it should if it doesn’t good luck
punzo
how long would it be until he calls me to the office himself
ranboo
a good ten minutes
wilbur
i would like to bet for five
foolish :)
i bet for two, he’s not gonna be happy
punzo
oh there it is :) bye guys
tommyinnit (big man)
goodluck bye
tubbo
bye!!
foolish :)
have fun getting out of trouble
wilbur
don’t get detention that’s my only advice
ranboo
at least thank the sodium for helping you get out of class
punzo
thank you thy mighty sodium
ranboo
the sodium is outside your bedroom door waiting for you to come home so it can give you a nice hug and kiss and keep you comforted at night so you don’t feel sad by getting a detention for using it to get out of an eleventh grade chemistry class because you were too out of it to pay attention to what your teacher wanted you to do and instead of asking again to make sure you ask your friends how to make an explosion and your wonderful friend ranboo tells you to use sodium and water
the sodium is very grateful that you used them instead of all the other options that you could have used and wants to give you a nice great kiss
punzo
you know what maybe i’m not thankful for the sodium
ranboo
that upsets the sodium ):
wilbur
i think i speak for everyone when i say this, THE SODIUM IS CREEPY AND WEIRD
ranboo
:(
punz stepped out of the stall, placing his phone in his back pocket and hiding it with the ends of his shirt, thank god for the use of oversized t-shirts he stole from one of his other theatre members.
this was gonna be fun, he sighed as he made his walk over to the office he had been plenty of times.
the principal made eye contact with him before mouthing the word “sit” as he got off the phone with whoever he was with, most likely his mother.
putting the phone down, the man looked dead in his eyes. “so; what’s this about trying to make an explosion in the chem lab?”
the waterworks started, thank god his friends had taught him how to cry on command for one of their plays, he wouldn’t be able to pull this off without them.
“i-i didn’t mean to- the teacher wrongly accused me of trying to do that on purpose and i know you wouldn’t believe me.”
the look in the principal's eyes told him it had worked with no little convincing other than him crying and stuttering, as that was not something had done before, he usually owned up to his mistakes.
all he got was a, “i’m gonna let you off this time” and an after school detention he wouldn’t go to in the first place. thank god for tubbo.
punzo
it worked, thank you tubbo
tubbo
what can i say i know how to get out of trouble
tommyinnit (big man)
TUBBO DID YOU SET FIRE TO ONE OF THE FUCKING STOVES
tubbo
so i might have done that
ranboo
why am i not surprised
wilbur
do i ahve to pay for it
tubbo
i don’t know are you my dad
wilbur
at this point yeah
tubbo
i don’t know
tommyinnit (big man)
that was my favorite stove tub :(
tubbo
i cried my way out of it
you burst into tears and suddenly they don’t care what you do as long as you get out of their sight because your crying is pissing them off and they could care less because of how much money your parents give the school to make sure you get “well taken care of” if the teachers are ableist anyway
ranboo
that’s. that’s concerning
tubbo
i’m aware that’s just my life big man
tommyinnit (big man)
can we all agree to stop blowing and or setting things on fire?
tubbo
^
punzo
maybe depends if i ever need to get out of chem or cooking again
wilbur
^
foolish :)
agreed with tubbo and tommy
ranboo
i gotta agree with punz, sorry but i know how to set things on fire or cause an explosion just for that reason.
tommyinnit (big man)
sigh why did i think any of you fucks would agree with me
tubbo
do me and foolish mean nothing to you
tommyinnit (big man)
i wanted the approval of ranboo
ranboo
i promise tommy i will never betray you i just get overwhelmed in class sometimes
tubbo
that’s okay
tommyinnit (big man)
that's reasonable
punzo
so how am i supposed to switch chemistry classes because i bet you that teacher now hates me and is going to make sure i don’t do well for the rest of the year
foolish :)
say she threatened you
wilbur
yes that will always work
punzo
wonderful thank you see you all after school
tubbo
byeee
tommyinnit (big man)
i hate my english class
tubbo
personal problem
tommyinnit (big man)
fuck you
ranboo
:)
foolish :)
WHO WAS GONNA TELL ME I HAVE PUNZ’S TEACHEF FOR PERUOD FIVE OMG SHE IS SO PISSED OFF
wilbur
that sounds like a personal problem
foolish :)
SHE KEEPS SCREAMING AT EVERYONE PLEASE SEND HELP WHY IS SHE SO MAD AT US WE DIDN’T DO ANYTHING
ranboo
don’t piss her off
foolish :)
I DIDN’T.