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Worry and dread filled me as I stared at myself in the mirror. I half-halfheartedly brushed my hair and fixed my shirt. Reflected beside me was my calender, a lone day circled in red with the words "First day back" written on it in my messy handwriting.
Even though I had done all the summer homework that had been assigned, I still felt woefully unprepared. Not because I didn't understand anything, but because of what I planned to do once the last bell rang.
I went over to triple check the contents of my backpack. I wanted to reassure myself that I had everything, that I wouldn't screw up this time. When I had zipped it back up, there was a soft knock on my bedroom's door.
"Hey, Candy?" called a lilting voice. "Can I come in?"
"Sure," I called back.
The door opened to reveal a red-haired women with triangular earrings. She smiled apologetically. "Hate to break this to you, but I won't be able to drive you to school today."
"That's okay," I said, trying to keep my voice calm. "The school's close, anyway."
"True..." she replied. She hovered in the doorway for a moment, concern masking her features. "Is there something wrong, honey?"
I shook my head. "I'm just nervous about the new school year, is all."
"Don't try to fool me, kiddo," she said, closing the door behind her before sitting down next to me. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but I get the sense it's just more than the 'going-back-to-school' jitters."
I sighed. Gathering up all the courage that I had left, I blurted out, "I was thinking about confessing to my crush."
Mom's face turned blank. The next thing I knew, I had been pulled into a bone-crushing hug.
"Oh, my little girl's growing up!" she exclaimed.
"Mom, you're crushing my ribs!" I cried.
I could sense her reluctance as she let go of me and held me at arms length. Her eyes roamed over my body with a look of pride and sadness. "Everyday, I'm reminded that you're not a little girl anymore. It feels as if it was just yesterday that you were learning how to ride a bike, and now look at you!"
"Wow, Mom. Like I've never heard that before," I muttered sarcastically.
She chuckled. "It's true, you know. If you ever have kids of your own, you'll understand. So, who's the lucky guy?"
I ran a hand through my hair in an attempt to get it back to its original state. "Just a fellow classmate," I murmured.
"What, you're not even going to tell me his name?" she said with a pout. "Can you at least describe what he looks like?"
"Um, well, he has silver and black hair and multicolored eyes."
Mom looked thoughtful. "I think that's ringing some bells. Does he wear clothes that have a Victorian feel to them?"
I nodded. "That's him..."
"So, what sparked this daring decision?" Mom asked, sounding way to intrigued by all of this.
"He gave me a butterfly hair-clip last year," I said, gesturing to the present in question. "I doubt that's a sure sign that he likes me back, but it looked rather expensive, and you wouldn't buy something like that on the fly just for kicks and giggles."
"Sounds logical enough," Mom said, ruffling my hair again.
"Mom!" I cried, hurriedly putting it back into place. "I just fixed it!"
She giggled then stood up and walked out of my room, only closing the door after wishing me luck.
I grabbed my backpack, slinging it over my shoulder. I walked to the front door of the apartment and was about to grab the doorknob when my heart started pounding. Was I really going to do this? Why do I think confessing so early on in the year is a good idea? If he rejects me, then I'll have to spend the rest of year being reminded of it instead of having an entire summer to forget.
I shook my head again. I can't loose my resolve now. If I don't do it today, I'll never be able to rack up my courage.
Taking a deep breath to calm myself, I opened the door and started my walk towards the school with a confidence I thought I didn't have.