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Apple cider, hold me tighter

Summary:

More than anything, more than any world caving disaster on its way, Chrono is afraid of losing people to who he used to be.
He's afraid of them finding out he never changed and turning on him just as everyone did back then.

Notes:

as usual im infinetly greatful to grey for looking over the draft of this even though it was really last minute. TT

and for Nose, I really hope you enjoy this fic it was really last minute because i was busy and ended up rewriting and scrapping the entire initial idea at some point. But despite that, I did try my best with it because I really wanted to write you a fun Chrono-centric fic that you'd like!! I hope you enjoy reading it !! <3333

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It’s easy, completely utterly easy, for Chrono to forget he deserves the things he has.

His friends, Kazuma, the trust others have in him, hell even Ibuki.

All it takes is a bad day for him to forget and rip at the metaphorical paper wall holding together the corners of his mind, unable to escape the closed up space he’s in.

And Kazuma doesn't know , he doesn't know how he was before, how Chrono Shindo the Gear Chronicle singularity was back in junior high.

He doesn't know who he is now.

It’s easy now, Chrono cares more. It's easier for him to put on a smile no matter how tired, stressed or angry he is. He doesn't want to upset anyone at least not how he used to, and he's still bad with people, working at card capital helped for sure but it’s always been easier for him to deal with children anyways. He tries his best to limit his interactions with anyone his age because it makes him nervous and scared of messing up.

Kazuma however was different, that's why he offered to tutor him when normally he’d just take Shin behind the counter and hold his hands together and plead for the other to take over while he dealt with whatever it was in the back.

Chrono is the same as before, just a little more cautious. He doesn't want to cause problems anymore, so he pushes the simmering anger down only letting it out in small spurts when he thought it was really necessary.

He’s the same as before, He’s still the same as he was back in junior high just a bit taller and better at card fighting that's all.

he’s terrified, so overwhelmingly anxious and scared at the thought of Kazuma finding out. Scared of people he used to know coming back to tell him that Chrono isn't kind, he isn't gentle, and he certainly isn't a good friend to be around. He’s afraid they’ll tell Kazuma that he’s a brute who picks fights with everyone and isn't someone you should be around, he’s terrified Kazuma will believe them.

Because Kazuma is the first friend he made on his own, the first friend he made by reaching out over the chasm himself. He's also the only one who doesn't know Chrono the way others do. 

It isn't surprising when it does happen when everything he’s been so afraid of, that nagging anxiety that kept him jittery and wide awake at night came to life.

the two of them aren't doing anything special that evening. They're out at the mall window shopping on their way back from the bookstore where Chrono insisted they had to go pick up the latest volume of their favorite manga series before it sold out. It’s not a date, it didn't matter how long he spent in front of the mirror before choosing to just be normal and pull on the closest clean shirt, it's not a date no matter what he wants it to be. 

He’s got a plastic cup of apple cider from some store that sold cake and far too many drinks to count while Kazuma got a mint lemonade which tastes weird the first time but is oddly refreshing in the summer heat. He keeps sneaking sips despite how odd it tastes and Kazuma tries to pull away his arm as Chrono only laughs as he holds onto his forearm tight, pulling it towards himself trying to have as much as he can before the other snatches it away.

“I barely got to have any come on, I thought you said you don't like it.” Kazuma groaned, finally taking another sip and glancing suspiciously at Chrono as though the other was going to pull the drink out of his hands. “You have your own drink, why do you keep taking mine?”

“Have you ever heard the term that stolen food tastes better?” Kazuma pushes him to the side as he laughs.

“Chrono Shindou?” He freezes in his tracks and nearly trips with how fast he turns to look up at the person in front of them.

It’s not just one, it's a couple of them, he doesn't know them well, he just knows he had the same classes as them back in junior high and that was enough.

“Kazuma let’s go,” Chrono urges, nearly dropping his drink as he attempted to pull Kazuma away, and he's rooted there in place starting between the two groups in curiosity, confused and unaware because he doesn't know.

There's something deeply unsettled in Chrono's eyes and Kazuma could tell. They're frantic, moving back and forth between the people who had called out to him and the floor before looking back up at him as if to make sure he's still there. His hands are almost shaky as they grip the fabric of his elbow sharply, pulling at the fabric trying to get him to budge while Kazuma stares the others down.

This isn't like Chrono, he stands up for himself, he's confident, and he isn't like this. But Chrono now looks scared and foreign, terrified, he's terrified of the people in front of them and Kazuma can't figure out why.

Chrono isn’t scared of them, he’s taller than them now, and he's someone now. He's someone beyond the rumors, what they think of him, and whisper about in the halls. He knows this, he knows he's more capable now and they're all bark no bite, but he’s scared of Kazuma. 

Scared of how he’d react, how he’d see him if he knew.

“I see you have a friend now, unusual. But it seems you finally scared away Tokoha and Shion considering you three aren’t attached at the hip anymore.  We all knew they wouldn't stick around for long.”

Kazuma is almost frozen in place staring at Chrono and his reactions to what they're saying, in fact, Kazuma almost tunes them out completely focusing on the others balled up fists and the way he wouldn't look up from the ground.

“You know? We never understood why you were friends with Tokoha and Shion in the first place, more like why they tolerated you. But all that's said and done we knew it was going to happen so it’s not a surprise or anything.” The guy shrugged his shoulders as the others behind him laughed a bit way too loud hushes of ‘I can't believe this guy’s hanging out with him, he’s too cute to be hanging out with Shindou of all people’

“What's this guy doing with you though, does he know who you are? The kind of person you are? C'mon, do you?” Someone spoke up from the back, the last part directed to him.

And Kazuma was angry, so angry

“What are you--”

“Kazuma.” Chrono cuts him off before he can start. He calls him Kazuma with a full stop and it's enough to jerk Kazuma out of anger and into confusion. And Chrono looks so frightened and trapped, the plastic of his drink is scrunched up and the pale tint of the drink looks ready to pool out at any sudden movement.

“So, you don't know?” The guy at the front smiles before walking towards them pointing an accusing finger at Chrono’s chest and watching him stumble backward. 

“Chrono Shindou, he’s a brute who picks fights and a bully, always in a bad mood and doesn’t hesitate to push people around, all he does is fucking glare at everyone like he’s above us and yell whenever he’s slightly bothered. But you know what Shindou? No one’s scared of you anymore, it seems like you mellowed out in high school or something but you're pretty pathetic for the grump of a thug you used to be.”

And now Kazuma’s confused because Chrono is not like that…at all actually. A brute, a grump, a bully even? Not at all, if anything Chrono’s the happiest, most stupidly positive, and stubborn person he knows, he's effortlessly cheerful to the point it can get too much at times, he can yell and get frustrated sure everyone does…but a thug? Chrono isn't like that at all.

There's another push to Chrono’s shoulder and he does drop his drink this time. It’s falling out of his hands, spilling onto the floor over his shoes, drops of it on his pants, sticky under the summer heat.

“Oops I didn't mean to do that.” the guy smiled at him before leveling up too close to his face for comfort. “You really have mellowed out, I’d expected you to sock me in the face and cause a scene usually. You were always like that alone and angry, didn't like anyone in your business and when anyone did you made sure to force them out pretty quickly didn't you? And you smiled earlier, you looked like you were having fun, that's unlike you. Who’s this guy your boyfriend or something? I wonder how your boyfriend feels about having a bully for a lover.”

“Hey!” Kazuma doesn't stop when Chrono shoots him a look this time throwing the guy's hand off Chrono’s shoulder. “I don't care how you know him or what you're saying but get out. Leave him alone or I swear to God Shindou isn't going to need to be the one throwing punches.”

“Oh, shame so Shindou isn't the only one around with a bad temper,” he says advancing on Kazuma this time ignoring Chrono where he stood in a dazed stupor, staring at the apple cider staining his jeans while the sun only got warmer on his back. “It makes sense now people alike flock together don't they, it's why they always tell us to avoid people like you” he shoots a spitting look at Chrono.

“You're clearly just like him aren't you, that's why the two of you get along so well.” and Kazuma glares so hard he feels his eyes strain under how hard his teeth grit against each other, jaw jutting out all harsh juts and angles. “Shindou here looked like that all the time you know, always the same look glaring at everyone, yelling at everyone, he was a delinquent, the one no one wanted around but couldn't force out because no one could handle him anyways. You are both the same.

There's a familiar itch of anxiety poking its way up through between the gaps of his bones and the skin of his teeth, and he is angry through it all like the lost taste of fizz and sugar long since drained to the concrete floor floating up to the sun in its molecular forms.

And he’s not angry for himself, not that much at the very least he's not even that angry at the small groups of his ex-classmates all huddled up in the summer heat. He’s angrier that he's been forced into this position where Kazuma is taking the insults for him and he's being forced to splay out his molten scared hands for the other to see. He knows he seems unlike himself to the other right now, silent and unmoving, desperately racking his head to do something while it's clouded by the fog and anxiety of his fight or flight with the knowledge that both have consequences he’s not ready to face.

“Kazuma…” He drawls out, holding him back by the elbow. There's an itch behind his eyes and he can feel the crinkling of the fabric of Kazuma's t-shirt and the heat of his skin against his wrist. “It's not worth it, c’mon let's go.”

“Not worth it? they-'' and one look at Chrono’s face had his mouth clamped shut, his teeth ache like they're stuck together melted sugar and jolly ranchers molded into the crevices.

His arms fall to his sides, shoulders rolling back, losing the terseness that had wound up like a coil around his neck without him realizing it. “Yeah, let's go then, we need to get you a new drink anyways.” He shrugged calming himself down as he pulled Chrono's wrist gently, sparring a look at his face before letting the other lead him through the two of them pushing shoulders and glaring at whoever’s eye, they caught on the way out.



“Hey, Shindou” Kazuma calls out now that they're far away from the crowd and out of the little shopping district they were hanging out at.

“Please.” He doesn't say anything else, and they both fall quiet. Their hands are still holding each other's like a comfort they need; A string drawn between them too delicate to stretch. 

The wind blows gently and Kazuma thinks it's the first breeze they've gotten on today.

“Let’s just get you home so you can change. You've got to hate walking around like that and then unless you don't want to…” he sneaks a glance at Chrono. “Then we can go to Card Capital.”

Chrono just nods not saying a thing as he led the way home. It was the weekend and Mikuru was home, the moment she saw Chrono she ushered him in and lead him further into the house before telling Kazuma that she doesn’t think Chrono will be going out again.

“No don’t worry at all I told him it was fine if he didn't want to go after I’m tired too, plus it's hot outside, suns up too high or something.” Kazuma laughed, waving it off.

He’s happy Chrono is going to rest. Today’s been shit for him especially but more specifically, what was that? He wasn't aware Chrono was getting bullied in middle school. Then again, they were saying weird stuff, he doesn't get it.

But what he does get is the look on Chrono's face after.

It’s just not like him at all, the Chrono he knows wouldn't have stood there motionless as if caught by shock and…shame.

He knows this because the other had been stubborn and persistent the first time they met, he knows this from how the other had called out to him in the abandoned warehouse unfaltering belief in his eyes that he shouldn't have had for a stranger like him. He knows it from how Chrono had punched him in the face without hesitating, although it was fair enough seeing as he had first.

The point is Chrono has never been quite like that, he’s stubborn, headstrong, and defensive he wouldn't he wasn't supposed to just take what they said to him without a fight much less a word.

Something was wrong with what they had said, with how he had acted, the entire encounter in general something had been wrong, and it had made Chrono shut down like that.

He doesn't want to see it happen again.

He ends up at card capital anyways, Kamui's got to know something about it. Chrono learned how to cardfight from him if he was right, Kamui never shuts up about it.

He’s got to know something

But heading in Kamui was nowhere in sight, not packing boxes or teaching some new kid how to fight instead in his place was Shin manning the counter and welcoming him in

“Oh, Chrono isn't with you? That's a surprise. I hope he's doing alright.” He says this like the two of them are threaded together at the hip side by side at all times, inseparable, he supposes they are. “Taiyou is over in the back playing with Hiroki!”

Oh, right Taiyou, he’s got to know. If he’s right he’s known him for a long time, something about Taiyou’s joker arc that both of them refuse to elaborate on. 

“Hey, Kazuma!” Taiyou waves to him as soon as he spots him on the other side of the table facing him while Hiroki stands at the other side straying a curious glance towards him.

“We're almost done anyways, where is Chrono?” He says looking around once again as if Chrono’s going to pop up right behind Kazuma. “Is he okay? Is he sick?” Taiyou says knocking him out of his thoughts as if once again something must be wrong with Chrono if he’s not beside him

“Yeah…I actually wanted to talk to you about him.” He says softly “So just finish up your match then we can.” Kazuma smiles softly before going to examine the board, ignoring the curious and concerned look Taiyou shoots at him before drawing.

“Final turn!” Taiyou says before discarding a card “Generation Stride!” And after calling more rear guards to the board and attacking with Gurguit a 7th card slides into Hioki’s damage zone, it's over as fast as it came.

Taiyou high fived Hiroki saying something to the other before making his way to the couch they had set up in the corner.

“So what happened? Did something happen to Chrono? Is he okay?”

“Yeah sorta I’m not that sure what happened actually but something definitely did and I’m worried about him. Earlier we went to get the new manga volume that just came out you know which one right? Chrono’s been waiting for it for ages. But yeah, and then we got cornered by some guys from Chrono’s middle school or whatever.” And sneaking a glance at Taiyou he watched him freeze up with just a bit of confusion dotting his face.

“What did they say?” Taiyou looks serious and concerned

“Some really stupid ridiculous stuff that I don’t even understand why- and Chrono looked so down and weird about it too he didn’t even say anything or do anything I swear I was going to punch them myself if he didn’t stop me!”

“Calm down what’d they say,” Taiyou says with an odd assurance and deadly calm tone to his voice like he knew exactly where the conversation was heading. The look on his face looked odd, he’s always been a bit observative and mature compared to them. Him and chrono who were the equivelent of thoughtless two kids when paired up together, like they lost all sense when it came to each other, somehow leaving Taiyou to become the peacemaker between the three of them.

And Kazuma looked down pulling at a stray string pulling it from the seams of the couch like contemplating what they said turning it over in his head and twiddling with it like a thought he was afraid of saying out loud like he would be doing a disservice to Chrono himself by uttering it out loud again.

“They kept calling him a bully, saying he was mean, and all sorts of weird stuff that isn't him at all y'know, like they kept pushing him around and talking about how he’s a thug and always angry and alone, they also said some weird stuff about him and the rest of try3.”

“I thought so,” Taiyou mused a bit. “Honestly, I think you're better off talking to one of them about it, maybe we should call Shion?”

“Maybe? I don't know.” Kazuma says shrugging he doesn't know where the conversations going. He doesn't understand a thing; it's like he was missing something, some piece of a puzzle too far out of grasp.  

“I think it's easier to say…Chrono was a lot like you before, back in middle school I mean. It's actually a bit funny to think about, I think it's why he took such a liking to you at first and wouldn't leave you alone.”

“It's not like you left me alone either, you followed me into a gang hideout.”

“Yeah, well how was I supposed to know you were in a secret card fighting gang? I still don't know what that was entirely, but the point is Chrono was alone for a very long time before Shion and Tokoha came along. Because of it he was really closed off and with his naturally scary face it only added to the effect you know? He was never any of those things they called him but he was misunderstood. He was awkward and no one wanted to talk to him because they were all scared of him. It led to a whole lot of rumors, especially paired with Chrono’s rash nature and stubbornness. He's not afraid to let someone know what he thinks about them, and one thing led to another, and he was labeled as some sort of angry delinquent.”

“And that's when Tokoha and Shion came along?” And slowly the pieces were falling into place why Chrono seemed so happy when he saw either of them, the closeness between the three of them that he can't touch even if he tried and how distraught Chrono looked talking about Tokoha going back to France.

“That makes sense…” a lot of actually it made sense why Chrono had taken one look at him and how unbothered and rude he was and decided he’s got to be his friend. Like he knew something was wrong in the crease of his very being with the way he acted unbothered around a game he used to love. Chrono had known all along, that's why he had pulled him out of that inky darkness and saved him from himself as well as Gyze.

It seems he has more reasons than one to be grateful to Chrono now.

“Also, Chrono with a scary face?” he raised an eyebrow laughing not waiting for Taiyou’s response.

“I'm not kidding he had a seriously scary face all the time! he glared at everyone and even if I never agreed with the others because he was super nice and sweet when he wanted to be, his face was super scary!” Taiyou protested before screwing his eyebrows together and closing his eyes halfway with a hard glare and gritted teeth, it looked funny on him. “He always looked exactly like this!” He gestured to his face, pointing and making a circle with his finger as Kazuma laughed at the ridiculousness of Chrono looking like that.

“I think I'm going to go talk to him…” Kazuma says the laughs turn into a small smile. “It must've been hard for him to be treated like that; it makes sense why he's so defensive about everything now.”

“Yeah, tell me what happens later! And if you guys have anything else to tell me” Taiyou gives a smug look out of the corner of his eye before calling Hiroki over with something about ice cream as Kazuma is left to contemplate what he had been talking about before shrugging and waving shin goodbye and dialing Chrono’s number.

It's evening by now, the sky is darker and it's an inky dark blue like a bleeding pen on a scrap of paper. And the phone rings once, twice, before he declines the calls and texts instead.

“Do you want to meet at the park? If you're up for it y'know.”

“Sure” Chrono’s voice is choppy and dry like he’s been crying his throat raw. It's cracked and rigid at the edges, Kazuma grimaces at the sound of it.

“Take care of yourself alright I'm almost there, I'll wait for you,” he says as if to say that he's here with him. He’ll stay with him, and whatever those people said doesn't matter to him in any shape or form because they're nothing compared to him. He hopes he can tell; he hopes Chrono can hear the trust and assurance through the cracked screen of his cell phone, he hopes Chrono takes it the right way and he knows that he’s calling him out before getting here.

He sits down at the park bench, there are names carved into it, initials with hearts joined by plus marks, and equations only they'd understand as they trace their hands over their handiwork.

And Kazuma runs his finger over them it's hot and humid, the street lights are on and buzzing with moths drawn to its flame lighting up the street, and the lone bench he sat on shirt sticking to his back and hand running through his hair feeling his bangs stick to his forehead like the discount tag on a book at a library sale that you would rub and rub rolling under your thumb till you pushed too hard and scraped off the cover instead.

He sits there a while checking his phone for blaring dungs and texts as he looks up at the starless sky arms tossed across the top of the bench.

He should get home after a bit or his brother would worry, no one wants to see Kazumi as a worried brother it's a bad look on him, partially because he has the demeanor of a worried mother sick to their stomach because their child came home covered in scrapes and the stick remains of grass and dirt stuck to their chin. 

Slowly he hears the pounding thrumming sound of sneakers running across thickly layered cement as Chrono shows into view.

His hair is a mess, more tangled and askew than usual.

Kazuma would know especially well because he uses those same tangles and knots as an excuse to run his hands through the other fiery red hair far too long.

They sit outside the school on a bench with Kazuma gently dragging out the tangles in his hair, smiling just a bit as Chrono complains but doesn't move away even as Kazuma scolds him on how he needs to brush his hair more often because it's always a mess.


And Chrono always tells him that he doesn't understand and that if he brushes it every day or before school it would just get frizzy and look worse.


Kazuma doesn't really but he learns eventually when he tries to himself.


Chrono’s eyes are sickly, the veins are too apparent, and his eyes are rimmed in red dawned under them like the brush of red eyeshadow Kazuma has seen Kazumi's boyfriend brush under his eyes before a date. He looked kind of like a vampire, although thinking of his entire demeanor that was probably the point.


Chrono approaches him, slowly sliding into the spot next to him before resting his head on the back of the bench, Kazuma moving his arm out of the way, feeling the wood of it pressing against his upper arm.

Chrono doesn't look him in the eye, not yet, instead, he gazes up at the sky.

“So.. what do you think?”

“Of what?” Kazuma knows what, entirely too well at this time.

“Y’know…what they said and shit I don't know?” he looks frustrated like he expects Kazuma to say something like he's looking for something in his expression, some sort of change.

“I heard about it from Taiyou, he said he doesn't have all the details so I might be missing something. But if what you want to know is what I think, think of those guys and what they said earlier?”

He joins Chrono in looking up at the sky.

“I think they’re wrong, dead wrong.” He can see Chrono shift up to face him waiting, expectant.

“I think they were wrong about you, not entirely. Maybe I think I got what they might have…though?” He doesn't want to confuse the others. “I think I'm like you too, I think you know that. Taiyou said, "That's why you wouldn't leave me alone when I asked you to.”

“Of course, he did,” Chrono sighs, they can hear the sound of bugs through the grass, and silently Kazuma brings his knees up to his chest not enjoying the feeling of the mulch poking at his ankles any longer.

“But y’know I think they were right in some aspects. I think they knew parts of you but didn’t know how to puzzle it together into the whole you if you know what I mean? Like I was rude too and you know it, I was rude and acted like I didn't care about anything. And as much as I’m better now I did punch you back then?” He looks at Chrono and laughs a bit, raising an eyebrow.

“It’s alright I got to punch you back, I think it was pretty worth it.”

“I thought we were best friends why would you want to punch me?'' They fall into their normal routine. Kazuma acts dramatic and uses it as an excuse to draw his arms around the other into a half hug pulling his cheek dramatically into the other's chest. It's too awkward and sudden Chronos got to know and feel the weary drains of embarrassment falling off Kazuma even if it's too late to back out of now. “I never thought I'd hear those words from you. I thought you were my one and only.”

“Not when you’re punching me in the face and expecting me to stay down” Chrono laughs for the first time in their encounter smiling as he tugs his arms from his neck while Kazuma only holds on tight till they eventually come to a standstill Chronos hands still clasped around his wrists and Kazuma’s ear lying on the other's chest. He can't hear anything well through all the other sounds of the night and the feeling of wringing his arms around the other's neck tight determined to not get thrown off.

“You know…” Chrono starts slowly “I'm not very different than back then actually, I know to you I may seem like you know the outgoing extrovert or whatever who gets along with people easily and stuff, ‘cause you know I work at a cards shop.” he laughs a bit at this “but I’m not different at all. Back then I didn't have any friends, I didn't get how to make them, and I didn’t want them. I hated it, in fact, I think I was envious of it how people were able to just smile so easily with people they liked and hang out with them on weekends while I always felt miserable. I always felt like I was repeating days the same way with nothing new ever happening, I think I was stuck in some sort of sick repetition of days before I found Vanguard and Try3.”

Chrono takes a deep breath and Kazuma waits, waits as long as he needs to because between the syrupy summer air and the smell of humid grass he could wait as long as Chrono needs him to.

“And I was bitter and angry at everyone and everything. I hated that I always felt like the loser and the sore thumb sticking out in a crowd. It made me lash out at everyone, but after I met Shion and Tokoha I had a lot of fun. They mean the world to me you know?  Even today I'd do anything for them. But I was still really rash and reckless, again I didn't really understand how else to explain myself to others and make them understand me because the only emotions I ever showed that got put into perspective were the bad ones, anger, frustration, irritability, all that jazz you know. I kept getting accused of things I didn't do and when I got mad about it, it’d just make things worse because people didn't believe my side of things because of my reputation. They thought I was in a gang and the teachers were even scared of me can you believe that? If I could really make the teachers scared of me with a glare, an astounding total height of 5’2, and a lack of common social skills I would have made sure to be getting straight A’s from day one.

“5’2? You?” Kazuma laughs real hard choking a bit as he does. “Don't exaggerate you've got to be kidding me?”

“I'm really not, I could show you pictures? Shion was like a half head taller than me back then.”

Kazuma shoots him a dubious look, “Sure whatever you say.” Kazuma himself hasn't grown much from middle school he was an okay height back then but the thought of Chrono shooting up a good four inches or so over the summer was a bit funny to think about. Chrono with wide eyes as he stares into the mirror far too early in the morning because the sink isn't as tall as it used to be, although that he supposes may just be a part of growing up physically or not the feelings always there.

“But yeah I think I was just really scared of what you think of me, I thought that maybe… it's stupid I’m sorry but like you know? I thought maybe you’d look at me and piece up the lost evidence or something and see all the parts of me I tried to hide with Tokoha abroad and Shion not within a five minute walk. Honestly, I was scared you'd realize something about me was off and suddenly realize I'm not worth it, I was really scared you'd believe them, and nothing I said would change that.” Chrono’s speaking is rushed like he’s trying to convince himself and remember what it was exactly that he'd been feeling, but he utters the last part silently like a prayer under the night sky. Kazuma’s cheek is now comfortably lying against his shoulder ear pressed to the bone like he could hear all the marrow and rushing blood and not the crinkle of the other hideous highlighter yellow Vangaro T-shirt.

“I get that, I’d feel that way too if I had people accuse me like that you know. It wouldn't matter what I thought of the person, there would always be that doubt in my mind, and I can't say exactly the same on that end so I can't exactly say I know what you mean. But like it’s fine if you thought that, just know it’s not true alright.” He loosens his arms from around Chrono’s neck letting them rest around his arms even if his shoulders were too broad for him to touch his fingers and lock into the firm grip, he did before.

“Hey, Kazuma?” Chrono says softly, not tearing his arms off him but rather turning towards him, arms wrapping around him gently, so they’re stuck in a two-way hug. Kazuma’s chin is resting on his shoulder and Chrono’s eyes are buried into his collarbone.

“Thank you, for everything. I know you like telling me you are grateful for me and stuff for helping you out but really…I think you saved me just as much as you say I saved you. There were things I couldn't understand or accept about myself, and you let me do that. It didn't feel like I had to act a certain way with you or anything. Sure, at first, I felt like I had to be super enthusiastic and let you know I was friendly so you'd join the U20 with me. But eventually, everything you saw from me was just me being my genuine self with you, it was easy for me to get frustrated or angry with you because you reminded me of myself. But still, you never made me feel like I was terrible for feeling that way or getting angry. In fact, you got angry back at me, and it sounds stupid, but it felt nice you know? To have someone who I could be whoever I wanted without having to be there anxiously wondering if I acted out or took it too far or not. Because I knew you’d put me in my place and push back at me just as hard as I pushed at you. You wouldn’t accuse me and make me feel stupid for feeling the way I did or like I was too emotional and irrational. I just acted how I needed to, and you never made me feel stupid for feeling that way.”

“That's good, I'm happy, I'm really happy I can make you feel that way.” The breeze picks up and pulls through his hair, the insects quiet down and as fast as it comes Chrono pulls away from him in embarrassment bright red like kissing him on the cheek was an action entirely not of his own doing.

“Why do you look more shocked than I am?” Kazuma laughs, Chrono does too with a punch to the shoulder and a shove that sends him tumbling off the bench and straight into the damp dirt and mulch.

“Hey!”