Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Jesus fucking Christ…”

Paige rubbed her forehead as she leaned on her desk. She didn’t even attempt to hide the agitation on her face that the beloved plastic companions she’d put so much faith in, turned out to have been orchestrating an uprising.

“I wish I was kidding,” Janus scoffed, his fingers interlaced and his forearms resting in his lap. “But… what we found at both the ship and the store indicates that these couldn’t have been isolated incidents. Lukas was hoarding androids to join his… robot army,” Janus said and shook his head. He was still baffled that this whole situation had even occurred, and his leg hadn’t stopped shaking up and down. The rhythmic bouncing of his hands on his knees reminded Janus of the gun rattling in his palm. 

He wasn’t even able to kill the deviant leader by himself - he ended up relying on the very source of the conflict: deviants.

…Was what he would have thought, if he hadn’t felt this grateful that Logan had taken the gun from him to shoot Lukas. He knew Paige would have wanted him alive to send back to CyberLife and get results on what caused his behavior.

Though Janus believed a threat like that was better off neutralized. Even if this particular threat had claimed to be just one snake’s head of a Hydra.

“And this- this USB drive you found?” Paige waved her hand at Janus, not even looking up from her desk. “Is it reliable? This source you got it from –”

“Who remains anonymous, yes,” Janus nodded. “As far as Logan had informed me about the creator of the USB stick, based on the files he’d analyzed, they did seem to have worked in a CyberLife facility overseas in California for about four years from 2043 to 2047. Though outlandish… the claims seem legit, chief.”

“Holy shit,” Paige cursed for the second time in a row which was quite a unique occurrence. “I wish I could have read this in between the lines when I signed that goddamn contract. Now that we can use this to push CyberLife’s buttons, at the very least scare them, it’ll become too big an investigation for our little local unit to handle for sure,” she sighed. “I know you’ve busted your ass off on this case Janus, but I’m sorry to say that I have to –”

“ Please .” Janus leaned forward and spoke with an exasperated sigh. “If you have any sympathy for me, don’t make me escape from the robotic claws keeping me tied to this case. As if I have not yet seen and dealt with enough plastic pricks for my remaining lifetime,” Janus groaned and leaned back in the chair.

It had been a while since he used theatrics and flamboyant behavior to hide the fatigue and chaos in his head. Why shouldn’t he hit the booze while he was at it, since he’d broken his vow for sobriety today anyway.

He checked his watch - oh. Yesterday.

“Well count yourself lucky, because your android partner will be returning to CyberLife,” Paige added. “‘I heard he’d be uploading the evidence in his possession to the main database in the storage room downstairs, and then he’ll take his leave from tomorrow.”

Something about that sentence had Janus sitting upright in his chair again, his neck flopping forward in a whiplash causing a headache . He looked down at his hands, swearing he felt the handle of his gun pressing into his palm. Or maybe it was gooey blood gluing the insides of his hands together.

…But no. There was nothing… to the naked eye. Janus knew his hands weren’t clean.

“That’s… wonderful ,” Janus replied in a softer, quieter pitch than he imagined himself capable of. He clasped his hands together tightly, like it was a last resolve to keep his hands from trembling and his leg from shaking and his chest from shrinking in on himself like he couldn’t breathe.

“It’s getting late, but I’m going to be reviewing all this first thing in the morning,” Paige said as she took the USB and put it into one of her own plastic bags. “If you can drop this baby off in the evidence room when you leave?” she asked, or demanded , as she handed Janus the bag.

In the end, weren’t they all simply empty plastic husks obeying orders from people in their environment, with whom they needed to keep friendly connections? Frankly, Janus would give anything to not think any further than doing what people told him at this point. Running his pre-programmed lines of dialogue options and shutting off his grinding brain.

Because his head was splitting from all the thoughts that had found their way back in his head, now that his predictably dependable plastic companion had left his side.

Janus took the bag with the USB from Paige, and noticed her staring at him.

“...You know what? Why don’t you take a day off tomorrow?” she suggested, reminding Janus that he had intended to inform his boss about that but somehow hadn’t yet. Now he knew why – he wasn’t ordered yet. 

“I’ll try and contact Patrick’s family.”

The heaviness in Janus’ chest got worse, as he remembered the kid he’d left burning in that wreckage . A pit formed in his stomach and he stood up from the chair, “Thank you. And… I’ll gladly take a day or two. If you don’t mind,’ Janus nodded to Paige. He was met with an understanding smile, which was rare coming from her. 

“You do that. I’ll… see you when I see you.”

Janus smiled politely and gave her a little wave, as he turned around to leave her office without fainting from light-headedness. He wanted to leave his unofficial resignation on a good note. Who knows - maybe Paige also had the same sneaking suspicion that Janus was getting tired of everything that had happened.

Too tired to think anymore.

He really wanted to drink.

That is, right up until he saw Virgil, sitting at a bench near the entrance biting his nails. It had been a nervous tick of his that he apparently hadn’t grown out of. Now that Logan ditched his new job as Caretaker and left Janus unattended, Janus suddenly felt inclined to take a seat next to Virgil.

No, Virgil was practically begging him to take a seat next to him, when he slightly raised his head up to stare at him and pursed his lips a little. He’d looked down again by the time Janus got to his seat.

“They still haven’t let you off the hook,” Janus made his first attempt at small talk. “Guess you really are in trouble.”

“Shut up,” Virgil grumbled without looking at him, harshly biting his nails one more time before lowering his forearms on his lap as he sat hunched over. With Virgil’s posture being as terrible as always, Janus noticed him rubbing his hands around his wrists which had been bandaged by the nurses during Virgil’s brief visit at the hospital.

Virgil hated hospitals… like Janus did, too.

“You’re staring,” Virgril mumbled in an eerily familiar tone. Despite the fact that normally that would be a reason for Janus to keep staring, he looked away. 

“It’s not like you’re doing a good job hiding,” Janus had spit back his retort from the past. Virgil sighed and fell back onto the backrest of the couch.

“Why are you here? I’m the one still waiting to be questioned, not you ,” Virgil starkly looked away from Janus, towards the door, and gestured towards it. “ Daar is het gat van de deur* .”

Janus chuckled at the old saying. “I’m waiting for my Detective Terminator,” he said as he leaned his head back and turned it to Virgil. “And I still have to deliver my super-secret evidence,” he smirked as he held up the plastic bag.

“Then, just… go do that and get out of my face,” Virigl said as his own face blushed. For some reason, the familiar bickering between them made Janus not want to leave yet.

There was a silence hanging in the air between them for a few minutes, and Janus deliberated why Virgil hadn’t insisted he’d leave him alone. That being said, Janus hadn’t left either, instead let the thoughts in his mind fester until he’d blurt something out –

“I never forgot… you know.”

There we go. When Janus’ coping mechanism of alcohol had fallen away, and the next that faded was his android-mode of following instructions under the guise of flamboyant threatrics and sass, another old coping mechanism resurfaced.

Virgil.

“Hm?” he turned his head to glance at Janus, half-annoyed and half-curious.

Janus looked away, “There was a… crash. We were at this bar, androids had been spotted there. We were gonna chase after them before they would escape, but…” Janus bit his lower lip and noticed his hands were trembling again. “They didn’t see the patrol car coming the other way.”

Virgil was quiet, he was always quiet when he was really listening.

“I think it triggered me,” Janus croaked and started wringing his hands to keep them from shaking. “And… I saw her again. I remembered, it’s been on repeat in my head ever since.”

Virgil let out a fully-annoyed sigh now. “Why are you telling me this? You know, I thought about thanking you for saving me, but now I regret letting you guilt-trip me into forgiving you for Vera.”

“Says who…” Janus let slip, and this time he did regret it, because he needed a way to cope right now.

“I can’t fucking believe you…” Virgil let out a shaky sigh and crossed his arms. “...You were the one who lied, Janus. You decided to get behind the wheel after drinking. It was you who-”

“And I’m sorry.”

Now that was what Janus called funny, humorous. If only he’d been able to say things like that so easily when it actually mattered, they both wouldn’t be in this mess. Virgil seemed to be just as taken aback, letting another silence fall between them.

“What..?” he said with a sharp layer of incredulous contempt to it. 

“Do you think a night goes by where I don’t think about it?” Janus spat his words in a dull quiet, and Janus felt silly that when they finally started having this conversation he’d been dreading to potentially happen, Janus didn’t even feel nervous.

He was just tired.

“When the alcohol, and the work, and the conniving conversations all fall away… and I’m left with only myself? I assure you, Virgil, I’ll be ramming the guilt into my brain until the day I die,” Janus said with a tremble in his voice. He clasped his hands together again like he had in Paige’s office, and found himself too drained to care about how awkward or tense his and Virgil’s eye contact would be right now.

“Is that what you wanted to hear, huh? That I’ll be reminding myself everyday that I’m heartless and selfish and the lying son of a bitch you and your mother made me out to be? Because I know, deep down, that is who I am. Don’t worry darling,” Janus scoffed and noticed himself take a shuddering breath. “Y-You don’t even need to lift a finger to have me regret… I-I was even born !”

Janus knew it would hurt Virgil if he repeated Virgil’s own words so mockingly, but he couldn’t help pulling from his memories to drive home the conflicting guilt he’d been carrying for longer than he realized.

“But you know what… I’m tired. I’m too fucking tired to deal with it anymore, the only ways I know h-how… I guess you know all about that - Mr. Anchorman aka ActuallyAnAnchorman aka AAA.” Janus scoffed and rolled his eyes, which were beginning to fill up with tears. “ Hilarious to rub my debilitating addiction in my face, it's much appreciated.”

“I didn’t mean it,” Virgil interjected quietly, tucking at the sleeves of his hoodie and hiding his bandaged wrists. “I swear I-I’m not that childish to-”

“Anyway, it doesn’t matter.” Janus sniffled and he wiped his ears dry before he’d let Virgil see he was shedding tears for him at all. “I’m gonna quit, again. I’m tired. I…”

Janus swallowed. It was hard to admit how weak he’d been, underneath those layers of coping. And it was even harder to admit it to the person who’d weakened him in the first place - for better or worse. 

But Janus thought about Logan, he remembered his words and his statements that were undeniably true because he was a totally rational android that had shown no signs of deviancy that could attest to any emotional instability.

Their human connection meant nothing .

“But… those connections have given me a purpose. A purpose of my own choosing.”

“Please, Janus. Let me help you.”

Their human connection had meant everything.

“I need help.”

The words were heavy to speak aloud, but Janus felt like a burden was lifted when he did. He looked back at Virgil with a determined gaze, “I want to start healing. And… I think you do too.”

Virgil’s mouth opened slightly in awe at what Janus said. That should have left Janus feeling proud, but he still felt some heavy emptiness in his heart. He thought about what could have been, had they both been brave enough to be open to each other.

But at least Janus did his part now. It felt like he started to make it up to him, finally.

Janus stood up with his legs feeling stiff as lead. He clutched the small piece of evidence leading him to Logan. Saying goodbye would be easy from a plastic companion like him.

“Bye, Virgil,” Janus simply said as dryly as he could. All the complicated feelings stuck in his throat were too much to deal with right now. “Take care.”

There was another beat of silence, and Janus almost wanted to wait before standing up. A faint hope resonated with him that Virgil could show him a hint of forgiveness, too. Or at least, a step forward in moving past this. 

But alas, wishful thinking. Janus sighed and got himself up from the couch, rubbing his hands together to keep them from trembling.

“...You too.”

He was about to keep walking, when Virgil had to come out of the blue to say that . A lump got stuck in his throat, but he was not about to deal with what all that meant in the middle of the station late at night. 

Janus just nodded, clutching the bag with his trail to Logan in his hand.

Leaving no chance for either silence or sympathies, Janus left to go look for Logan.

…

Virgil let out a big sigh as Janus left, not sure how he got to the point to be able to tell him that. Clutching his hand around his wrist one more time, Virgil tried to cancel out the swarming thoughts of doubt that pounded in his head.

And it seemed like he got some help with that.

“...yeah, yeah, great talk! We should catch up - gotta go now!”

Virgil looked up to see the guy who’d been at the shooting, his cheek still swollen and a dull look in his eyes. He’d been in a patrol car with Virgil to go to the hospital, after the kid and his android got in a car together.

He hadn’t said anything the whole trip - he had barely even been present. And Virgil thought that was supposed to be his talent. Though, he supposed shock could do that to someone.

The guy now rushed out the hallway leading to the interrogation room, and made eye contact with Virgil briefly on the way to the entrance. For some reason, Virgil rose to his feet to talk to him, or at least check to see how he was doing.

It was like the guy actually recognized Virgil for the first time, that moment.

“Oh, hey! You’re the triple-A dude,” he greeted him with an elevated pitch, grabbing Virgil’s hand with his own. “I guess I owe you a proper introduction since that whole blood-thirsty robot revolution situation got me a teensy bit occupied, but I’ve browsed through that blog of yours and there’s some fascinating stuff in there!”

There was suddenly a burst of energy spouting from him, as if it’d been an overcompensation for earlier. “Anyways, me love androids, you love androids, we should totally go on a date to discuss theories for when these bitches are gonna plot world domination - so take this!”

He reached into his back pocket with what seemed to be his injured arm, because he winced and cursed at himself by the time he pulled out… a playing card. An Ace of Spades.

A bit flustered from the sudden change in energy, Virgil looked up at him and blinked. The guy winked back at him, handing him the card. “Call me - I guess we could both use a coffee in the morning after this, huh?”

And as soon as he arrived, he was gone. 

Virgil took a look at the card, then flipped it around. On the back, hastily scribbled with a pen, was the name ‘Remus’ along with a phone number. Virgil chuckled to himself in disbelief and shook his head.

He couldn’t tell if it made more sense Remus had a random playing card or cards on him at all times, and he just happened to have the time to scribble his number down on it. Or, maybe he had a few of these stored in his back pocket to be armed, when he wanted to ask someone out.

Regardless, it was stupid and surreal and flattering all at once. The relief of something so idiotic and mundane ironically made Virgil smile a bit.

He stored the card in his jeans’ back pocket and sat back down, waiting for his turn to be questioned and then finally go home.

To cancel out the annoying shriek of some woman down the station, he pulled out his phone and put in his earplugs to browse through his Spotify playlist.

…Maybe check his blog again, to see if he could decipher whether Remus actually left a comment.

…

All Patton wanted was to get a soda for Emile.

It had already been a long day for the both of them, and he didn’t want to add to the stress Emile had already been through.

But of course, Sandra had to come in and ruin it.

“ You… '' Sandra jabbed her finger in Patton’s chest, and Patton didn’t even feel the resolve to scream at her anymore. “You left my son in the hands of those killer robots and he almost got shot ? Are you out of your fucking mind?! I should have you torn apart by those robot mechanics like all those other deviants! You goddamn piece of plastic!”

Sandra wanted to throw her hand back to slap him, just like she’d slapped her own son . Patton grabbed her wrist just in time, not hardly as ferocious as he was back at his cell. Though, Sandra’s clearly intoxicated state wouldn’t cost Patton a lot of strength anyway.

“Can you stop ?” Patton hardened his gaze when he looked at Sandra. “Please..? Don’t you think there has been enough aggression today?”

Patton thought back to Emile sitting on the couch in the back of the cafeteria, wrapped up in a blanket. Probably hadn’t moved from the corner since Patton walked up here, since they arrived here - Patton carrying him in his arms. Emile hadn’t even cried anymore, from the moment Patton was woken up from stand-by and saw Emile sitting on his lap with those big deer eyes.

Eyes that had seen so much violence.

“I don’t care if you feel the need to take it out on me,” Patton said slowly, and almost emotionless which - ironically enough - felt against his nature. “Because of your incapability to deal with your emotions or your divorce in a healthy way. But do not take it out on him… ever again.” Patton nudged his head back to where Emile was sitting, and he was grateful Sandra was just quiet for once.

“Can’t you see… that you cannot provide a healthy home for him, in the state that you’re in?” Patton asked her, trying to finally get through that thick exterior of toxic behaviors and addiction. “You can think whatever you want to think of me. But I have been designed to ‘take care’, to provide care and analyze what care people need. And what you need, and what Emile needs, are so starkly different that you two trying to live together is… destructive. It’s hurting you both.”

As if by a miracle, it seemed Patton’s words started to hit home. Sandra’s hard, rage-induced expression fell as her eye drifted to Patton’s left.

Oh… right . Patton must have gotten some help.

“He’s right, mom,” Emile said as he stood beside Patton, leaning his shoulder against his waist while clutching the blanket around him. “You hurt me. I’ve been running away a lot, and a lot of things have scared me, but… It made it easier to understand that I’ve always felt a bit scared at home, too. And I don’t think kids are supposed to feel scared when they’re at home, right? I’m sorry, but that’s just how I feel. And I can’t change what I feel.”

Something shifted in Sandra’s eyes, a mixture of disbelief and frustration and… pain. 

“That’s right, kiddo,” Patton told him, and he let Sandra’s wrist go to wrap an arm around him. “You feel what you feel. You just experience them, and you need to find a way to deal with them. Both you and your mom.”

He saw Emile nod from the corner of his eyes, and he looked back at Sandra expectantly. “Do you understand?” he asked, hoping to form some connection of understanding - like a bridge they could cross, to meet each other halfway. For Emile’s sake.

Emile shouldn’t have to cross any bridges. And yet… when Sandra fell silent, Emile lunged forward and hugged his mom around her waist.

“I’m sorry you’re hurting, mom,” he said, and both Patton and Sandra were left in silence for a moment. “But you understand it’s for the best, right? That… that I ran away?”

That seemed to do the trick. Patton wanted to pull Emile away, but he saw Sandra’s eyes start to get watery as her arms fell next to her sides.

“I…” she stammered, awkwardly waving her arms close to Emile. “I’m-”

“Miss Muller?” An officer had walked in on them. “Could you and your son follow me to fill out some forms? Then you can return home, ma’am.”

Patton’s eyes widened, and he forced himself not to panic and tug Emile away. Emile turned his head up to look at his mom, pulling away from the hug a little.

‘Please’, Patton’s internal software was pleading. ‘Please don’t take him away from me’.

“I… can’t.”

Emile gasped a little before pulling away, stepping back towards Patton. Sandra breathed in shakily, before turning around to the officer with a sway in her movements.

“I… I have been drinking,” she blurted out. “I drove here… under influence, so… If you’re a good fucking cop, you won’t let me go home.”

“Uh, alright ma’am,” the officer raised his eyebrow at her. “Do you want me to escort you two home, or..?”

“Emile’s tired.” She didn’t look back when she continued. “And… his dad is in town. So… I’ll call him to pick him up, give him a proper night’s rest, without…” She hiccuped, and Patton was unsure if it was because of the alcohol or her emotional state. “Without dealin’ with a drunk mother.”

“Alright, then,” the officer nodded, finally getting the hint that he was walking in on a private moment. “Let me know when you’re ready, and when your son’s father arrives. I’ll let you have some privacy,” the officer nodded a bit shyly before leaving.

Patton didn’t know what to say, or whether he should say anything. But he didn’t have to think about that for long, since Sandra turned around for a moment to look at him.

“Take care of him,” she said with a certain higher intonation near the end, making it sound more like a request than a command. Like Patton had a choice in the matter.

He pursed his lips together and nodded, pulling Emile close to him again. 

“I will,” he said, as he watched Sandra walk away without another word. 

Emile leaned his head against Patton’s torso, nuzzling his cheek against his shirt. Patton looked down at him, adjusting his glasses a little and rubbing Emile’s shoulder.

“I will take care of you, kiddo, promise,” he vowed to him, making his choice. Emile sniffled and nodded, wrapping his arms around Patton’s waist.

“...I love you, papa ,” he mumbled.

Momentarily, Patton was frozen on the spot as he got overwhelmed by a new sensation, only further empowering him to hold onto his objective to keep Emile safe and cared for at all costs.

He smiled without meaning to, then crouched down as he wrapped his child in his arms. The hug felt warmer than any embrace they had ever shared. 

“I love you too,” Patton said with a crack in his voice, no longer pretending to hold himself together.

…

That was a stupid move.

As if Virgil was ever gonna call. They had a whopping total of zero conversations since they first met, and after everything that happened, androids were probably the last thing Virgil wanted to even think about.

But Remus couldn’t help it. He was lucky enough to be wearing his baggy pants with his personal ‘business cards’ left in the pockets. He just needed something good to take his mind off all the bad shit going down outside and inside his head. And he had read through Virgil’s blog one night when Roman showed it and –

…Fuck.

He was thinking about Roman again.

And he continued to think about Roman, the whole rest of the trip back to his shop, back to looking around for the carnage Lukas and his friends had caused, seeing his blood spilled on the floor. He looked at his watch – 1 AM.

Time to go home.

Gathering some courage, Remus walked up to his desk and peered around it. For just a moment, he held his breath as he wasn’t sure what he’d rather see: Roman’s limp body or no Roman at all.

Nope, neither would have been the better alternative. But at least… androids couldn’t breathe by design.

He lay there exactly how Remus and Emile had left him, motionless and his LED flashing blue and his head resting on his red scarf. There was something peaceful about seeing him there, away from the evil androids about to take over the world, away from danger, out of the water.

Remus shook his head, then crouched down beside Roman and put his good arm around his shoulders. He hoisted him up, so he’d sit upright, then reached for the panel in the nape of his neck.

“Wake up, Ro,” Remus whispered as he opened the panel and placed his finger on the touchpad. “Please.”

“Ro…? Please- please wake up, Ro, please…”

Remus forced his eyes shut and prayed. …He wasn’t religious, but for a second he’d believe in some higher power when he heard the sound of rebooting and Roman waking up.

Almost as if he was gasping for air, Roman jolted away from Remus’ arms and frantically glanced around him. Remus almost felt like he had a heart attack himself, and he quickly moved in front of Roman and grabbed him by the shoulders.

“Hey… hey, you’re back,” Remus said hoarsely, as he helped Roman sit up straight. “It’s okay, we’re at the shop. They’re gone, Ro, they’re gone.”

When Remus said that, Roman started to look around even more frantically. Probably searching for his evil android buddies that weren’t there. “...gone? What happened? Where is Emile, what-?”

“The kid’s safe.” Remus pulled his hands away, placing them in his lap, feeling a numbness overwhelm him as he tried to fight back against reliving the rollercoaster of feelings he went through today. Or, yesterday, whatever.

“That… friend of yours planned a raid on a CyberLife store. Two people were killed, others injured.” Remus bit his lip, looking and - frankly - hoping for any sign of regret in that android brain of Roman’s. “We were caught in the middle.”

Funnily enough, that was the statement that made Roman look up.

“...How?” he asked.

Remus scoffed to himself, not feeling so courageous now but mostly stupidly reckless. “Threatened a police officer that came over for Emile’s call. Being reckless and stupid, ya know, like back in the old days,” Remus grinned a bit when he looked back at Roman. Like he was expecting a reaction that wouldn’t come anyway.

“That was stupid,” Roman squinted his eyes and looked at Remus with a disapproving expression. “You… could’ve gotten killed.”

“Yeah… exactly.” Remus deliberately let a silence hang between them, to see if Roman could make sense of what he meant. He didn’t, or at least, he didn’t show it. “So… why? Why the hell did you associate with androids like that?”

“I-...” Roman pulled his legs closer to his chest. “...I wanted to feel like I was part of something bigger. I wanted to feel included with others… like me.”

“Like what? Murderers?” Remus spit his words at Roman, and immediately an image of the rag doll employee flashed before his eyes. He shut them and tried to think of something else.

“M-Murderers!” Remus shouted at the onlookers around him, gawking at him like they had no involvement in this situation whatsoever. “You’re all murderers..! Look what you DID!”

“N-Now look what you did…” Remus uttered bitterly. “People are hurt, the tensions are gonna be up through the roof, and you-!”

“That was never my intention, Remus!” Roman shouted back at him, and the loudness of his voice almost reminded Remus of Lukas. He bounced back a bit. “I just wanted to do something. You kept me on a leash for so long, a-and I met someone who promised to cut me free. He told me I could be more and he would put a stop to the injustice, a-and-”

“And you thought violence was the answer?” Remus balled his hands into fists and fought back against the desperate fear festering in his chest. “I-I came to this country to put all that behind us, and start over! I-... have things to protect again, so…”

“I can take care of myself,” Roman rebutted. “Why are you so afraid of letting me be? If you really believe I am more and I am so unique, then let me be !” 

“Let me be friends with them! Please? I’m basically you - if they like you, they’ll like me too, right..?”

“...I can’t.” 

A lump in his throat prevented Remus from sounding as assured as he had to. “I can’t let you,” he said.

“Why not?” Roman kept firing words at him that hit way too close to home. Everything hit close to home right now. “If you want to give me a chance to grow, then-”

“I can’t lose you, Ro!”

Remus slammed his fist on his lap, as his cry echoed against the walls of his shop. At least Roman couldn’t pretend not to hear them now. There was no sound of ocean waves crashing at the shore, or wind howling in his ears.

“And if you’re not gonna obey, then…” 

The words had left Remus’ mouth before he even realized what he said. Roman realized sooner. “You said… you wouldn’t use that argument against me anymore,” Roman responded quietly.

“I’m still the one who made you,” Remus sneered. It felt vile to use this argument, indeed, but after seeing people shot and killed and almost having Roman be among them, made Remus want to use every argument in his arsenal to ensure he was never gonna leave again.

“ I’m the one who made you feel like you were above e-everyone else in the first place! You’re the fucking microwave here, Ro!” Remus let out a hoarse cackle when he said that, and the first tears sprung in his eyes.

Roman suddenly let out something between a snort and a scoff. “You really never grow out of it, do you?”

Maybe it was because Remus was already on the verge of crying, and his nerves were shot from everything that had happened, but that tone of voice resembled him so much that Remus ended up sobbing.

“You really are so much like him.”

Roman seemed alarmed by Remus’ tears, which they used to always dub as a ‘twin thing’. Remus remembered, even when they weren’t in the same room, they could somehow tell when the other was crying.

“Remus..?” Roman tilted his head and gave him those puppy eyes, and Remus sobbed again. He had been playing himself for a fool this whole time - there was no way this wasn’t him sitting right there in front of him.

He sniffled, then leaned back to reach for his desk’s drawer with all the important stuff. It was where he’d hid the USB too. Remus didn’t have to feel around in the drawer for long, to be able to tell when his fingers brushed over the photograph. With a heavy sinking feeling in his heart, he grabbed it with two fingers and pulled it out.

“I guess I never told you, huh..?” Remus chuckled, tears tasting salty on his lips, and he starkly looked at Roman to avoid looking at the photo. He handed it to him, “You’re old enough now,” he said. Like he was a parent giving their children the Talk.

“Told me what?”

Though, Roman’s voice trailed off as he took the photo, staring at it.

Remus remembered when they took it. It was the day everything changed, but at the time of the photo, he didn’t know that yet. Neither of them did.

“He looks like me,” Roman rightfully deducted, and Remus tried to stop himself from sobbing again. He felt Roman’s gaze but didn’t look up to meet it. “...Who is that?”

“That’s… Roman.” So much for that plan. Remorseful tears started spilling across Remus’ cheeks. “My… twin brother.”

It was a good thing they had been twins, because if they hadn’t, Remus probably wouldn’t have remembered his face without help from this photo. He chuckled dryly, “That was… our sweet sixteen birthday. It’s like this whole thing in the States. Our parents had a beach house… so, we held a party there.”

Remus recited the memory as if it was a good one. Maybe it started out good - maybe the onset of something terrible was already on the horizon.

“...Is that your scarf?”

Roman looked up at Remus from the photograph, and Remus pursed his lips and nodded.

“Yep,” he said in a strained voice, “So I don’t forget.” Remus left a beat of silence between them, and in that silence, Roman scooted a bit closer to Remus and sat on folded legs.

“Forget what, Remus?”

The cold water that bit into his skin. His aching chest that could barely let him breathe above the crashing waves. The exhaustion of all his limbs when he dragged him back to the shore. The pain in his throat from all the screaming. The pressure behind his eyes from all the crying.

And worst of all… the quiet that resonated from his brother’s limp body on the sand.

“The day he drowned.”

Remus put a hand around his wrist and squeezed. He could still remember where the lines had been, the traces of the cuts he’d made to cope in the beginning. “I didn’t pay attention. He… wanted to flock with my group of friends, w-who turned out to be… assholes,” Remus’ voice echoed quietly. “It was late, dark, windy, and… some of them wanted to swim. Roman was the only one who didn’t drink, a-and he got dragged with them when I was…” Remus chuckled in spite of himself, still feeling disgusted. “...making out with some stranger I’d never see again.”

“Remus,” Roman called out to him, placing a hand on his knee.  “I never knew… I-”

“Wow, the superintelligent robot that I fucking created doesn’t know something,” Remus scoffed, not sure where that harshness came from. Maybe he didn’t know any other way to let his emotions out.

“I bet you didn’t know how much that night made me wanna die, too. And my parents wouldn’t let me, s-so I tried killing myself slowly…” Remus rolled up the sleeve of his blouse, revealing scars that were clear to him but probably invisible to the naked eye by now. 

“A-And then I discovered androids were a thing, a-and it was like I was staring at a bunch of machines that… felt more alive than me.” He took a moment to sob, roughly wiping his tears away that stung at his skin. When he looked back at Roman, seeing that pouting gaze of his, Remus realized how much he’d developed since that scrapped model he found in storage at work one day.

“Except for you,” Remus admitted softly. “You… were all mangled up, tossed away, l-like an older series’ model that was too outdated. And… you had his eyes. And, I don’t know,” Remus sniffled and wiped his nose, “I just couldn’t leave a broken toy like you behind. It may have cost me my job, and… had me fleeing the country. But… twinkling with your programming, and molding you as a passion project, I just…”

“You were in pain,” Roman completed his sentence, his pitiful gaze replaced with a sympathetic smile. “You were grieving. And… you were trying to cope.”

“I was lying to myself,” Remus scoffed, letting another tear spill from his cheek. “I was so deep in denial I thought I could swap his soul for a fucking android-”

“Remus.”

“When he’s gone .” Remus hated how he very much had not dealt with this in years, and he rammed his fist against the side of his head. “He’s gone and he’s not coming back, I can’t bring him back a-and it shouldn’t matter some dumb plastic copy of him wants to go out and see the world-”

Roman grabbed hold of his wrist, pulling his hand away from his face. “Remus, please, don’t do that.”

“-and that’s t-the whole point of you .” Remus hiccupped, as he made eye contact with not-his-brother and felt a pit in his stomach from treating him like… not-his-brother. His feelings were a mush. “I-I made you… because I believed in android’s potential. Y-You were meant to be a revolutionary model, a-and to go out and want to explore on your own, and learn about who you are but…”

Remus needed to stop talking like that. He needed to stop treating this literal piece of plastic A.I. like it was just… plastic A.I.

“But… I can’t lose you again, Ro,” he said as he shook his head, “I-I can’t. I can’t, I won’t, you won’t get to-”

And then he was paused. Roman had pulled him into a cold, plastic embrace that felt very much like his dead brother had risen from the grave.

“You won’t lose me.” Roman said it with such conviction, like he didn’t just backstab him a few hours ago. “I’m sorry. I… never intended for you to get hurt. I realize that now. I… was trying so hard to find out where I belonged, if I could be more, if I could be part of something bigger, when none of that really matters.”

Roman pulled away, holding Remus by his shoulders. From all his years working with androids, Remus recognized that gaze as one where Roman was processing new information. If he hadn’t removed his LED to avoid him being detected, it would be flashing yellow.

Roman smiled. “I belong here, with you. I may have started out being made in the image of your brother down to his name, but you’ve helped me grow beyond that. I don’t need to be part of anything bigger than this family right here. This shop. That is what matters.”

“N-No, you’re not…” Remus shook his head, “...not getting it. You’re not him, you shouldn’t be him. I-I took away your potential the moment I decided to mold you into…” Remus gestured at Roman with his hands. “D-Don’t keep listening to the name ‘Roman’ when you-”

“Nope.” Roman shrugged, almost nonchalantly so, and it was so him . “Not gonna.”

“W-Why..?” Remus stammered, “I-I just told you, stupid, I-!”

"Because it's the first thing you've ever given me,” Roman answered with a smile, “When I awoke for the first time. You… gave me a name, you called me into existence, into consciousness even. It's not like you've named your microwave, right? Like just any other machine? I like my name, and I'd like to keep it… if that's alright with you. You being my ‘creator’ and all."

Roman chuckled as if it was the most mundane conversation, and Remus just stared at him as he felt pressure behind his eyes again.

“I’m gonna make a button to shut you up,” Remus let out a teary laugh, then returned the favor and pulled Roman in for a hug this time. 

“So… no more killer robot friends?”

Roman snorted. “No more killer robot friends. I promise.”

“Stay with me?” Remus asked instantly after Roman answered.

“...Promise,” Roman replied right after. 

Back to being boring and neutral and living off scraps for Remus to tinker with in the basement, then. Though, thinking about his brother again, Remus was convinced Roman wouldn’t want his legacy to fall flat like that.

“...Still want to be part of something bigger?”

Remus tapped his fingers on Roman’s shoulder repeatedly, like a drum roll. “Let’s give this android revolution another try… in a less destructive way.”

“Less destructive? You? That could not have come from the brother who used to beat up my bullies for fun!”

“What does that entail?” Remus heard the question mark in Roman’s voice, that hint of teasing he used to love and still did, and he grinned.

“Maybe… your face would be pretty on the big screen, don’t ya think? Like, I don’t know, set up an android rights party with your smug snout to pull in voters,” Remus chuckled a bit, still a crack in his voice. “Just… try and show them androids can be more than machines, violent or otherwise. Once we take that capitalist cooperation down for good.” 

Remus did remember he handed Logan that USB, and judging from what snippits he’d heard from that detective Janus and Logan himself, they were at least gonna look into it. Which was more than Remus could’ve done and hoped for, since his pretty face would be busted if he showed himself to CyberLife again after stealing one of their broken toys and hacking into their secret databases.

But first…

“But first,” Roman poked him in his side, “I’m going to take another look at that wound of yours.”

Remus huffed. “Was just gonna say we should head home, it’s…” he glanced at his watch, “...past 1.”

And yet, they still held onto their hug for another five minutes before deciding… that it was time to go home.

…

“So… you get to go home, soon?”

Janus must have looked as if he would have been drinking, showing off such a giddy smile for five minutes straight now. “Come over to mine when you’re released. I still owe you one, and I suppose your poor wallet must beg for a treat,” Janus said through his old smartphone’s receiver as he leaned against the wall next to the evidence room.

Though scrapy and tired, Remy’s voice managed to sound as smooth and slick as always. 

“Oh, that won’t be a problem, Jay-Jay,” Remy responded nonchalantly. “Managing the bar is not gonna cost me any more money since I quit.”

“You quit?” Janus leaned away from the wall, when he heard a set of footsteps approach. He had to swallow back the words of ‘me too’, since he didn’t really want to talk about himself now. “I can’t imagine what made you make that decision,” he scoffed in a tease as he chuckled lightly.

“You shoulda been there, babe, it was wild,” Remy joked back warmly. “Though I am gonna need a new apartment, so if you know a place to crash, let me know.”

“Oh come now, as if you don’t know any places of former lovers to crash at,” Janus cooed back at him. He missed it, the mundanity of a call after everything, and his chest felt warm and open. “But you’re welcome anytime.”

Remy hummed, from either appreciation or exhaustion or both. Supposedly two bullets to the abdomen just might do that to someone. “Thanks, babe. I’ll let you get back to your ‘partner’ now.”

“You tease,” Janus retorted with a huff, “Take care, Remy.”

“Take care indeed,” sounded a voice behind Janus.

Janus let out a sigh, as he ended the call and put his phone back in his pocket. He turned around to see Logan already stepping out of the room, the automatic doors of the evidence locker closing behind him.

“I can trust you are going to take care of yourself,” Logan tilted his head at him and crossed his arms like a strict parent. “Right, Janus?”

“Oh please, cut it out, not that tone,” Janus’ face scrunched up, and he rolled his eyes. “And it’s not like you can keep track of whether I do, anyway.”

Something in Logan’s expression changed. His shoulders slacked a bit, his gaze softened and his smile even felt kind and had Janus feeling that warmth in his chest again.

“Correct. I… would most likely be sent back to CyberLife according to my course of action, as soon as the chief confronts them about what they found on the USB. That is, if CyberLife doesn’t suspect anything themselves sooner.” Janus took his hand out of his pocket as Logan talked, as he sensed this setting up a goodbye he wasn’t prepared to say. “Since becoming deviant, I am unaware of their supervision on me, whether they’ve sent someone to… get me, or…”

“Too bad they won’t get their hands on you.”

Logan widened his eyes and looked up at Janus, who responded with a grin. “Please tell me you are familiar with my use of sarcasm by now, Logan,” Janus said, before flicking his eyes on the ground for a moment. “You could still keep track of whether I take care… isn’t that the whole reason you deviated? What happened to… me, being your first priority?”

Janus hadn’t expected to look up at Logan so expectantly and speak with such a tone of yearning, the thought of comfort and care he would get that he’d been craving for so long. If Remy hadn’t called on Janus’ way here, his hands would still be shaking.

Suddenly, Logan’s smile turned into a smirk.

“Is that a hint of honest vulnerability I detect… detective?” he grinned, and Janus’ words got stuck in his throat. “You, expressing affection? For an android?”

“Oh, you little-”

Janus would have punched him, if he’d had the heart or the energy for it. Logan chuckled, “Please tell me you don’t underestimate my ability to pick up on sarcasm and weaponize it, Janus.”

“Why don’t you focus on weaponizing some solid arguments and concrete evidence against your creators, supercomputer?” Janus raised an eyebrow at him and smirked back. He turned around to make his way out of the hallway, towards the entrance.

He waited to hear Logan’s footsteps behind him, before deciding to actually walk. 

“On it, detective.”

Janus felt a comfortable, warm palm press between his shoulder blades, because he’d ‘never walk, walk, walk alone’. Such a sliver of thought existed in Janus’ unwired, mangle of a brain, thanks to Virgil Anker and his obsession with emo music.

Janus smiled, waited for Logan’s hand to pull away from his back and then hook his arm around Logan’s. He could no longer deny his legs were quaking as they spoke.

“Let’s go home,” Janus told him, walking out the station. 

They see a darkened sky and an abundance of stars as raindrops dropped onto their cheeks.