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Only Love Can Hurt Like This

Summary:

After graduating college, Taehyung and Jungkook set out on a road trip with a bucket list of places they wanted to see together in hand. They've both been hopelessly pining for one another for years now, and this road trip is their one big chance to finally admit their feelings. To themselves and to each other.

 

{Title inspired by the song: Only Love Can Hurt Like This by Paloma Faith}

Notes:

Prompt:
 
Taehyung takes his best friend Jungkook to fulfill their bucket list after graduation. Slowly realizing that they can't bury the feelings that they've had for each other anymore.

DW smut, fluff taekook moments, angst

DNW pwp, 1st person pov, open ending, infantilization, feminization

https://twitter.com/BTSOneShotFest/status/1493577171612413955?t=O7d0vGzk2YvjwjPetG9iZw&s=19
_________

Hello Everyone!

I hope that you all find as much enjoyment reading this story as I did writing it. I did a lot of research planning the places they would visit on their single-state road trip and I'm really excited for you to see where I landed for choices.

To the prompter - thank you so much for sharing the prompt so that I could be inspired by it and write it. I hope that you love it!

To the readers - thank you so much for reading, I can't wait to hear from all of you. See you at author reveals, loves!

Chapter Text

“Now announcing the graduating class of 2022!”

The Dean’s voice rings out over the stadium, almost immediately drown out by the eruption of cheers. As graduation caps fly into the air, Taehyung starts to push his way through his fellow graduates.

He knows they’re supposed to meet up, the seven of them, but he wanted a minute with Jungkook first. Thankfully everyone around him is more interested in dispersing in various directions and he sees the crowd part to reveal that Jungkook.

They’re headed toward one another.

Taehyung can’t help but break into a big, boxy smile when he sees Jungkook’s bunny teeth flash at the sight of him and then he’s taking off running toward his best friend. Without a second thought he throws himself into Jungkook’s arms. Jungkook catches him easily, of course, muscled arms wrapping tightly around him and spinning the both of them around.

“We did it, Taetae!” Jungkook’s voice pitches higher with his excitement and even after he stops spinning them he keeps Taehyung in his arms for maybe a few minutes longer than necessary.

“I’m so proud of us, Jungkookie.” Taehyung feels Jungkook finally lower his feet to the ground, though they remain close, Jungkook’s hands on his hips and Taehyung’s still around Jungkook’s neck.

“Now I guess we have to go and be stupid responsible adults.” Jungkook’s lips pout just a little and Taehyung moves his hand to squeeze his cheeks so that the pout is even more exaggerated in a way that makes the both of them giggle.

“At least you’ll be a cute responsible adult, Kookie,” Taehyung teases as he releases the other man’s face.

“Pfft. Only half as cute as you Taehyungie,” Jungkook immediately counters, catching Taehyung’s hand before the other can pull completely from his grasp.

For a minute they linger there - hands clasped and not enough space between them and it’s reminiscent of a night a handful of years ago where alcohol and a kiss they’ve both pretended never happened took place.

“Uh, are we interrupting something?” Jimin’s voice interrupts them seconds before his face is pressed annoyingly close to both of their faces. “Are we having a group kiss?”

As he starts to make irritating kissing noises, causing Taehyung and Jungkook to fall apart and fall into giggles, a pale hand snakes around his waist.

“I don’t really feel inclined to have you sharing your kisses with anyone else, flower,” Yoongi’s deep voice huffs out.

“But it’s just Jungkookie and Taehyungie, kitty. It’s not like I was offering to kiss strangers !”

“There’s no group kiss,” Taehyung says with a roll of his eyes. “No kissing at all in fact, right Jungkookie?”

“I-er-yeah, Taehyungie’s right.” Jungkook’s cheeks are flushed a light pink that he’ll blame on all the smiling if anyone asks him. It’s definitely not from him thinking about kissing Taehyung, nope not at all.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Jimin says as he turns in Yoongi’s arms to look at him with a sappy, sweet smile. “Hear that, hyung? No group kiss. These lips are just for you.”

“Just the way I like it,” Yoongi says, grinning at Jimin before claiming his mouth in a kiss that is much more chaste than others Taehyung and Jungkook have seen from them in the past.

“Uuuuugh, come on Taekookie let’s get out of here. The hyungs are waiting, I’m sure.” Jungkook reaches for Taehyung’s hand but the other man shakes his head.

“Can I have a piggyback ride, Jungkookie?” Taehyung deliberately makes his eyes big and pleading, smiling sweetly at the muscled bunny in front of him. Knowing full well that Jungkook can’t deny him anything like that.

Jungkook sighs like it’s some kind of hardship, but the hint of a smile sits on the corner of his mouth.

“Come on then,” he calls as he turns to give Taehyung access to his back.

It feels familiar. Like home. Jungkook has been giving Taehyung piggyback rides like this since their sophomore year of highschool when they’d met. Back then he’d been a lot smaller - they both had. Over the years they both got taller, but Jungkook really filled out when he’d started to dedicate time to the gym. Taehyung dedicated time to the gym as well - but more in the sense that he liked to come and hang out with Jungkook while the younger of the two did all the work.

Once he’s got his fingers hooked behind Taehyung’s knees, has him hiked up high enough with Taehyung’s arms wrapped around his neck and their cheeks pressed together, he sets out to their promised meeting point.

Taehyung ignores the way that his heart accelerates at the way that Jungkook easily hikes him up. Pretends that being this close to Jungkook doesn’t still send butterflies fluttering like mad through his stomach. Lets himself inhale the vanilla scented cologne that Jungkook wears, enhanced by the fresh smell that is uniquely him beneath it.

Jimin and Yoongi follow behind them, taking their time to weave through the crowd next to one another with their hands wrapped together.

“Do you think they’ll ever stop pining for each other?” Yoongi keeps his voice low, using his quiet tone as an excuse to nuzzle his nose against Jimin’s soft cheek.

“Taehyung says he might tell him this summer on their trip.” Jimin shrugs when Yoongi looks at him with wide, surprised eyes. “I don’t know any of the details, Tae is staying suspiciously tight-lipped about them. Even with me ."

Yoongi can feel the way that Jimin is just a little tense - probably worried about what this means for both of their friends. There has never really been a friend group just for Taehyung or just for Jungkook. Taehyung and Jungkook had come to college a package deal, and they five of them had sort of acquired them along the way. Now that they were such a tightknit group of friends that was more like family, it was hard to imagine a time when it hadn’t always been the seven of them.

“I’m sure everything is going to be just fine. Everyone can see how crazy they both are for each other.” He rubs gentle circles across the back of Jimin’s hands where they’re connected.

Jimin snorts. “Everyone except the pair of them apparently. I’m pretty sure even the Dean knows.” The blonde can’t help but roll his eyes - it was a running joke amongst their friends how exacerbating it was watching Jungkook and Taehyung dance around each other for years.

“Hyuuuuungs!” Taehyung’s voice calls out to the three men waiting for them as they make it out of the crowd of graduates.

Namjoon, Hoseok, and Seokjin had graduated the year before and were already out in the world outside of university. That didn’t stop them from having regular dinners - Jin called them family dinners because he was sappy like that, but they all loved that about him.

“There are our graduates, you made it!!” Hoseok is genuinely so excited, clapping his hands together as he smiles so big that his eyes squint to the point that they disappear into just slits of happiness.

Jungkook releases Taehyung, settling him on his feet and smoothing out his own robe before he bounces toward Namjoon - every bit the bunny that his smile makes him look like. Namjoon, looking fond, immediately wraps the youngest of them up in a tight hug that is reciprocated.

Taehyung looks endeared beyond belief and Jimin has to break him out of his fond staring to nudge him toward Seokjin who is holding his arms open for a hug. The three hyungs have always sort of been their caretakers in the group - immediately taking on the roles once they’d settled into a group of seven. While Jin was often making sure they ate and drank enough, Namjoon was always there to lend a hand or be an encouraging voice, and nobody helped them let loose and have fun to relax like Hobi did.

“So proud of you. Of all of you.” Seokjin wraps Taehyung in a tight hug as Hobi wraps his arms around Yoongi and Jimin both.

“Are we going out to celebrate, hyung?” It’s Jungkook’s turn to flash big pleading eyes at Namjoon first and then Seokjin and Hoseok. It doesn’t take long before Taehyung and then Jimin follow suit. Yoongi simply laughs and refuses to plead, but his gummy smile makes him look endlessly fond of everyone.

Namjoon chuckles, his shoulders shaking with the laughter as he nods his head. “Yep. Hyung’s treat.”

“Hey! Namjoon-ah, we agreed to split it!” Seokjin realizes that Namjoon has pointed at him with his thumb, indicating it’s his treat and not all three of them. He looks to Hobi for backup but the third of them dutifully avoids the conversation entirely - pretending to be engrossed in something Jimin has said.

“Oh hyung, you’re the sweeeeeetest,” Taehyung croons, wrapping his arms around Seokjin’s neck and pressing a sloppy, sweet kiss to his cheek before grabbing Jungkook’s hand and skipping away.

“I hate you all,” Seokjin grumbles though there’s no emphasis in his words. In fact, there’s affection in his tone instead as he turns on his heel and heads after the two youngest of them.

🚗❤️🔥💫

“So what are you all doing this summer?”

They are all gathered in the apartment that the four just-graduated students share. After dinner they’d agreed to all come back and it felt a lot like old times before they were graduated.

Seokjin, Namjoon, and Hoseok are all piled onto one couch together. Jin and Joon are settled directly next to one another, with Hobi thrown over their laps despite there being room on either side of the pair. It’s easy to see the affection the three have for one another - shared through little glances, light touches, and sweet presses of lips occasionally.

Yoongi is settled on the one plush armchair that they have - his favorite spot - and Jimin is settled sideways on his lap - his favorite spot - with an arm around his shoulders. They are not as quiet in their affection as the trio on the couch are, not shying away from the displays of their love. It wasn’t always like that - there was a time that Yoongi shied away from being physically affectionate around other people, but something about Jimin brought it out of him.

“Jungkookie and I are going on a road trip together to cross off our bucket list of places to visit!”

There is a haphazard collection of pillows and blankets on the floor like some kind of crudely thrown together nest and that is where Taehyung and Jungkook have settled. To absolutely nobody’s surprise they are laying together - Taehyung is on his back with Jungkook’s head resting on his stomach so that long fingers decorated with rings comb through Jungkook’s dark hair.

It’s easy, in moments like these, for Jungkook to forget that they’re just best friends . With Taehyung’s long fingers tangled in his hair and his own fingers playing with with the rings on Taehyung’s other hand it feels like they’re two halves of the same whole.

“A bucket list is things to do before you die I thought,” Namjoon says in his reasonable, even tone and that makes Jungkook grin.

“I know, hyung, but becoming an adult dealing with stupid adult responsibilities is kind of like dying, right?”

Namjoon rolls his eyes playfully at Jungkook’s answer but everyone else laughs a little because their youngest is adorable - and not entirely wrong. Being an adult is exhausting, and not at all what ten-year-old versions of themselves thought it might be like when they’d whined about not waiting to grow up.

“Where are you going in all?” This from Seokjin who runs a smooth hand across the back of Namjoon’s neck gently.

“Oh! We got it all mapped out last night. Do you want to see?” Taehyung is already sliding out from underneath Jungkook’s head, giving a ruffle to the other boy’s hair when Jungkook pouts up at him. “Be right back, Jungkookie, lemme just get the map for the hyungs to see.”

“They’ve been working on it for weeks ,” Yoongi pipes up. “Took up the whole dining room table and told us we had to eat somewhere else.”

Once Taehyung disappears into the bedroom that they share (with two beds) to retrieve the map in question, all eyes are suddenly on Jungkook. He can feel them even if he can’t see them and it makes him shift a little uncomfortably because he thinks that he knows where this is going.

“Are you finally going to tell him this summer, Jungkook?” Hoseok has propped his head up on one of his hands, peering down at Jungkook with a sympathetic expression.

Jungkook sighs. He knows that his friends mean well - he knows they do. But it isn’t as easy as they make it sound. He’s had a thing for Taehyung since as long as he can remember, and if he’s being honest with himself he’s probably been in love with him for at least the last couple of years. But he’d tried to make his feelings known before.

~~

They were in their second year of university and it was a rare night when Yoongi and Jimin were out of the apartment. It was Taehyung that insisted that they head out to a club to have some fun and Jungkook had tagged around because he didn’t want Taehyung going by himself. And because he didn’t want to go crazy thinking about other hands on Taehyung’s hips while he danced. So he went, and tortured himself. Let Taehyung press against him as they danced, continued to take shots with him until both their heads were swimming and everything was a little hazy.

Eventually they headed home and to this day Jungkook doesn’t know how he’d managed it - but he’d carried Taehyung on his back the whole way. The apartment wasn’t far from the club and the fresh air turned out to be exactly what both of them needed.

Taehyung’s face was pressed against Jungkook’s neck, his lips close to skin and driving the younger crazy as he tried to train his thoughts toward something else. Anything else but the way that Taehyung pursed his lips and seemed to press gentle kisses against the side of his throat.

When they got into the elevator in their apartment building, he leaned against the wall and let Taehyung’s weight rest against the handrail in the elevator. He could see their reflection in the elevator doors as they waited to head up to the third floor, his hands smoothing across Taehyung’s jean-clad thighs and Taehyung’s nose rubbing teasingly across his neck.

“Smell good, Kookie,” Taehyung mumbled against his skin and the deep rasp of his voice sent electricity straight through his spine.

Jungkook inwardly cursed because he wanted to tell Taehyung how good he felt against him, how much he enjoyed the featherlight presses of his lips and wanted more more more. Instead, he turned his head a little to nuzzle his cheek against the top of Taehyung’s head affectionately.

The breath was punched out of him the next moment when he felt Taehyung’s lips press more insistently against the side of his neck this time, fingers sliding so that they dipped into the unbuttoned collar of Jungkook’s shirt. Jungkook felt like he was malfunctioning, like everywhere that Taehyung touched him was burning.

Thankfully the elevator chose exactly that moment to ding and announce they’d reached their floor, the doors opening. Jungkook hiked Taehyung up again, adjusting him against his back before heading down the hall to the door that led to their apartment. There was no way that he could wrestle his own keys from his pocket with the way that he was holding Taehyung, and when he attempted to put the other boy down he’d whined so pitifully that Jungkook couldn’t bring himself to let him go just yet.

“Need your keys, Tae,” he muttered quietly, trying not to attract the attention of their neighbors who were surely sleeping by this point. Thankfully, Taehyung had his keys hanging on a lanyard around his neck and he pulled it off as he motioned to the door.

“Lean over so I can reach the lock, Kook,” Taehyung said entirely too close to Jungkook’s ear for his sanity and Jungkook didn’t even think - just did it.

If anybody walked by they would surely catch a funny sight - Jungkook bent nearly in half forward with Taehyung on his back, leaning to try and unlock the door. It took Taehyung a few tries because coordination disappears like inhibition when you’re drunk. Eventually he gets it and he lets out an excited little giggle that makes Jungkook’s heart squeeze.

Then they’re stumbling into the apartment and Jungkook is nudging the door closed behind them.

“Down? So you can get into comfy jammies?”

The minute the words come out of Jungkook’s mouth, Taehyung’s arms tighten around his neck enough that he cannot possibly put him down without choking himself. He tries to avoid the way that his pulse skyrockets as Taehyung nuzzles into his neck.

“Bedroom, please,” Taehyung croons sweetly into his neck and Jungkook knows that if he weren’t already - he’s definitely a goner for the other boy now.

It’s only once they’re in their bedroom that Taehyung allows himself to be lowered, stumbling a little as he finds his feet. Somehow they end up on the correct sides of the room, getting into their pajamas easily - Jungkook wears loose sleeping pants and a plain t-shirt that he pulls over his head. Taehyung also wears loose pants, but his shirt is a short-sleeved button up.

“Jungkookie heeeelp,” Taehyung whines his name so sweetly and Jungkook turns to find him stumbling closer with only a couple buttons done up on his shirt. He looks to be struggling with the others and when he’s close enough he pouts up at Jungkook with big eyes.

He’s done this before - buttoned the shirt up for his best friend who is too tired or too drunk or too sick. He’s just taking care of his best friend, right? That’s what he tells himself as his trembling fingers work at the buttons, taking longer than usual because he is also a little drunk and uncoordinated.

“There you go, Taetae,” he brushes his hands over the older boy’s shoulders, smiling encouragingly at him.

He doesn’t realize that Taehyung hasn’t moved to his own bed until after he’s climbed into his own bed and turns on his side to see the other boy still just standing there blinking down at him. Slowly, he opens the blanket to invite the other under the covers with him and that’s when Taehyung breaks into a heartbreakingly beautiful boxy smile, his eyes curving into little crescents as he happily climbs in next to Jungkook.

This is familiar too - they’ve done this a thousand times before, climbing into bed with one another for one reason or another. Jungkook ignores the way that this feels a little different, ignores his traitorous heart thundering in his ears as Taehyung snuggles so close that Jungkook could kiss him with little to no effort. He closes his eyes to try and block out the image of Taehyung’s cute little pout hovering so close to him.

“Jungkookie?” Taehyung’s voice is deep and slurred, his breath sweet from the alcohol and the minty smell of the toothpaste he’d used before they’d left.

“Hmm?” Jungkook doesn’t dare open his eyes, doesn’t dare look at Taehyung or he might actually kiss him and ruin everything.

“Look so cute. Liked dancing with you tonight.”

“Tae…” Jungkook wishes with his whole heart that his best friend meant it in any way other than just a best friend.

“Should kiss me,” Taehyung breathes out and Jungkook’s eyes shoot open to find the other boy looking at him with those pleading eyes that he has a hecking hard time saying no to.

“You…Tae you’re drunk you don’t know what you’re saying…”

“Do too,” Taehyung pouts up at Jungkook, catching him offguard when he slides a hand up onto the side of his face and traces the shape of his lips with his thumb. “Wanna kiss you.”

Jungkook closes his eyes again, squeezing them shut tightly because he absolutely must be dreaming at this point. There’s no way that this is reality. There’s no way that Kim Taehyung, his best friend since highschool, the man that he’s been in love with for at least the last two years, wants to actually kiss him. Jeon Jungkook. The best friend.

The only warning that Jungkook gets is the huff of breath entirely too close to his lips and then there are soft lips against his. They are impossibly soft - the kind of pillowy soft that a person could lose themselves in. And boy, does Jungkook want to lose himself in those lips. In Taehyung.

It’s not until Taehyung’s fingers slide smoothly to the back of his neck, keeping him close, that Jungkook lets himself relax into the kiss that he’s dreamed of for at least the last four years or so. He feels the moment that he lets himself give into it, a whimpering moan escaping him as he leans into Taehyung’s lips and curls fingers around his chin to keep him close.

It’s gentle and sweet, a press of lips to lips in the beginning. It evolves into several presses of lips, a tender exploration of mouths. Until Taehyung swipes his tongue across Jungkook’s mouth, coaxing it open and pulling a ragged moan from deep in his chest. Everything starts to move fast then, too fast. Before Jungkook knows it, Taehyung has a leg hooked over his waist, hands tangled in his hair. He’s got one hand hooked around Taehyung’s shoulder and the other at the small of his back holding their bodies close together.

Taehyung kisses him like he’s a starving man. He licks into his mouth like he wants to learn every inch of it. There is no hesitation, no tentativeness, and he feels completely surrounded by the wild storm that is the dark haired boy in his arms. He tries to memorize the way that Taehyung tastes, memorize the curve of his hip under his hand.

They kiss until they are forced to pull apart and pant for breath, and even then Taehyung dives back in before Jungkook has caught his breath. They kiss until their lips are pink and swollen and spit-slicked and Taehyung and hiding a yawn in Jungkook’s shoulder.

Eventually, they fall asleep like that - with Taehyung half hooked over Jungkook, lips pressed against his neck and Jungkook’s arm around Taehyung’s shoulder, fingers tucked underneath the fabric of his pajama shirt.

It’s so perfect. So so so perfect.

But then Jungkook wakes up the next morning and the bed beside him is cold. And Taehyung is not in his own bed. He stumbles out of the room with a throbbing headache only to find Taehyung sitting at the dining table giggling with Jimin about something and looking so adorable in his pajamas and with his tousled hair. Jungkook wants nothing more than to walk right up to him and kiss him silly in the light of day right in front of their shared friends.

Then Taehyung turns toward him and Jungkook sees no recognition in his eyes. And his heart falters.

Did Taehyung forget?

When the entire day goes by and Taehyung makes no mention of the night before - Jungkook assumes that he forgot. Doesn’t push. Feels his heart break a little.

~~

“I don’t know, hyung,” Jungkook admits as he shakes the cobwebs of memories from his head and focuses instead on Hoseok in the present.

“You should, Kook,” Yoongi says encouragingly and everyone around them nods and murmurs their agreement.

“I want to,” Jungkook admits, “but I’m scared. What if it changes everything? What if he doesn’t feel the same way? What if…” Jungkook waves his hands from where he lays on the floor, trying to articulate his feelings but not finding the words.

Which is just as well because Taehyung chooses that moment to come back into the room, clearing his throat to let them know of his presence.

“Got it,” he calls as he kneels on the floor and opens up the map on the coffee table for everyone to see.

He doesn’t bother to wait and point out the stops - they’re numbered and labeled. Instead, he lowers himself back to the pillows on the floor immediately patting his stomach so that Jungkook can scoot his head to rest back on him like he’s the pillow for the younger boy.

Jungkook doesn’t see the way that Taehyung seems to visibly relax the moment that he can curl fingers into Jungkook’s hair, doesn’t see the way that his gaze goes a little dreamy as Jungkook starts to play with his other hand.

🚗❤️🔥💫

They have a week to get everything together for the trip and before they know it the day comes that they’re supposed to head out. Everyone is there to see them off like they’re leaving for some extended amount of time and now just the two months until they return. Neither of them seem to mind though, wrapping their hyungs in grateful hugs.

“You can do this,” Jimin whispers in Taehyung’s ear as he squeezes him tight, trying to give him all the confidence that he needs.

“Do you think he will…?”

“Absolutely,” Jimin cuts off Taehyung because he can hear the hesitation and anxiety in his friend’s voice. “Just take the leap and trust him, okay?”

Taehyung can only nod as Jungkook approaches so that he can receive a hug from Jimin as well. He moves to hug Seokjin and Hoseok, letting himself fall into the comfort of their embraces.

“You’ve got this,” Jimin whispers to Jungkook because he knows that nobody else has. He’s the one out of all their friends that has pushed them the most - maybe because it was Taehyung and Jungkook that pushed him to admit his feelings for Yoongi and look where that landed them. “Be brave.”

Or maybe just because he was the biggest fan of the pair of them out there.

“I’ll try, hyung,” Jungkook murmurs back, feeling oddly emotional.

No matter what happens on this road trip - when they come back everything will have changed. Either for the better, or for the awkward and uncomfortable. He hopes that it is the former, for so many reasons.

“Love you guys, drive safely!”

There is a chorus of love, reminders to call them to check in, and making them make promises to take lots of pictures, and then they’re on the road.

They agreed that Jungkook would drive first - but they would be trading off every couple of hours. Taehyung settled into the passenger seat, leaning the seat back and propping his feet up on the dashboard as he pulled out their map and looked at it.

It is kind of silly for them to have a paper map when Jungkook has the navigation up on his phone to direct him - but the map is more a sentimental thing. Something they can share after this - maybe even hang up in an apartment they share as a couple this time, Taehyung hopes.

“I can’t believe we’re heading for Napa first, I’m so excited to try out all the wines!”

“I arranged a surprise for us too,” Jungkook answers Taehyung, grinning at the way that his best friend looks so unbelievably excited.

“Oooooh, I love surprises!” Taehyung looks positively giddy as he starts to fold up the map, tucking it into the glove compartment before he starts messing with the playlists on his phone.

As the sound of an upbeat tune starts, Jungkook catches a glimpse of Taehyung after he’s rolled the window down to let the wind blow through his hair, and he thinks that Taehyung is the most beautiful person that he’s ever seen in his life. He nearly confesses right then and there - except that he’d like to do it in a way that is far more…meaningful.

But seeing the beautiful boy with the wind blowing through his dark hair, bliss on his face, Jungkook almost blurts the words out right there.

Almost

🚗❤️🔥💫