Chapter Text
~Channeling Angelus~
Lindsey looked into Angel's eyes, and he saw regret in them. He could damn near hear the thoughts going on in the vampire's head. Angel was reliving that moment in time, the moment the Oracles had said he'd circumvented fate by giving into his anger because Lindsey had won the case earlier that morning. He could see the vampire wondering about all the crap that happened after that long, long day had passed.
Lindsey was stunned when Angel pulled him into a tight embrace, and even more surprised when he felt the shaking start, heard the quite sobs coming from the vampire. He wasn't sure what to do in this situation, but felt that vulnerability within his lover again. It angered Lindsey somewhat, because he'd suspected the Powers, the senior partners, or whoever found that vulnerability would use it for their own ends. That's the reason he'd wanted to help Angel in the first place.
And Fuck......turned out, he was right. Son of a Bitch! Lindsey sighed, curled one arm around Angel, wound the fingers of the other into the vampire's hair, rested his chin on top of his lover's head and just held on until the storm of regret passed, wishing like hell he could give Angel all his strength to help him. He didn't like seeing him this way.
When the weeping had calmed down, Lindsey softly said, "It's not your fault, Angel. I did what I did. You aren't to blame for my actions. I was a grown man who made my own choice. I may have made that choice in anger, but that only makes me as stubborn as you are."
"Yeah, but I could've saved you," Angel whispered. "Look at all that happened after that."
"We don't know what would have been, Angel," Lindsey said. "Yeah, possibly it could have been the better course of action, but what would I have been to you? Someone else you had to protect, someone else you would have felt obligated to, like all your friends?"
Angel said, "But Darla wouldn't have....."
"Been brought back? Yeah, she would have," Lindsey said.
"But then....Conner..." Angel trailed off, unable to regret him.
"I know. I wish I could take away your pain over that. But I can't. I'm sorry," Lindsey softly said, moving his hand to caress the side of Angel's face.
Angel reached up and touched Lindsey's hand. "And I cut off this hand."
Lindsey smiled gently at him. "Well, to be honest, I could've done without you doing that. But even then, I gained strength from the experience, Angel. And I learned something of vast importance in the process."
"Oh, yeah? What was that?" Angel said.
Lindsey's eyes sparkled in merriment as he replied, "Right works a whole lot better than left when it comes to jerkin' off, Angel darlin'."
A small smile appeared on the vampire's face. A snicker escaped those lips. The smile got wider. Then a real laugh came fourth. "It really does, doesn't it?" Angel said.
"Yeah, it does," Lindsey said, then leaned in to kiss that smile.
"You looked really hot doing it, too," Angel said, laughing into the kiss.
"You looked really hot while you were watching me, Dead Boy," Lindsey replied, urging Angel to lower himself away from the headboard.
"How the fuck would you know? You had your eyes closed, and you were way too busy screaming my name to notice what I looked like," Angel said, complying with Lindsey's unspoken wish.
"Says you! I saw you underneath my lashes. Your eyes were staring at my hand the whole time, Angelcakes," Lindsey retorted. "You looked....like you wanted to eat me up."
"I did," Angel said. "I do....I will....later," he whispered as he tilted his hips to accommodate the man over him. "Much later."
"Is that a promise or a threat?" Lindsey said, charming Angel into opening for him.
"I'll make it a promise, if you stop dicking around and be in me," Angel muttered.
"You're so impatient, Angel love," Lindsey teased. "You're the one who wanted me to keep up with you." He twisted his fingers, hit what he wanted, and yes that look came over Angel's face. He rubbed harder, pressing deeply into Angel.
"Lindseyyyyyy" Angel moaned, arching his body up, making Lindsey press harder. "Yes!"
His fingers moving in a tight circle over Angel's sweet spot, Lindsey looked around them for that damn lube. Where had the vampire tossed it last night? Shit Too bad they were all sticky and smeared from a while ago. Using his own come would've worked just fine.
"Lindsey, hurry up. You're killing me here." Angel groaned.
Lindsey snorted. "You're already dead, Soulboy." He scissored his fingers, stretching Angel wider. "Damn, where'd you throw the lube at?"
"It was empty. And I've told you before, you don't have to use lube on me. Now come on," Angel said. "And stop calling me names."
Lindsey stilled completely. Angel groaned. "Empty? Well, shit....why didn't you say so before?"
"Oh, come on, Linds. You like it rough, sometimes, too," Angel complained.
"I might like it rough, but I don't like it raw. I can't do that," Lindsey said. Angel growled. Lindsey shivered with arousal at the sound. "I'm not a demon, Angel," he softly said.
"You're not totally human now, Lindsey. Can't you.....channel Angelus and just....do it?" Angel said.
"We don't know what aspect of Angelus they gave me. And.....No. I don't want to just do it," Lindsey replied.
Angel growled again, which caused Lindsey to shiver once more. The vampire could both see and smell how aroused his lover was. "Fine. You want lubrication? I can do that," Angel said, reaching over to the night stand, grasping the edge of it. He viciously jerked his hand, tearing into the palm of it. He held his hand out to Lindsey. "There."
Lindsey looked at the hand, then raised his eyes to peer into Angel's. "You want to cover me in your blood?" He quietly asked. Angel's gaze was smoldering. The coppery sweet smell of the vampire's blood hit Lindsey like a ton of bricks. He broke out in a sweat.
"Yes, I do," Angel said. Then he moved, reaching for Lindsey....and he coated the young man's erection, stroking him as he did so. Lindsey was very hard now.
Lindsey was harder now. He felt like....exploding....right now....right in Angel's hand."Stop, Angel....hold up....just...," Lindsey raggedly said. He bit into his lip, closed his eyes and prayed for some control over his body.
Angel stopped. He smiled. Hmm....Lindsey liked that. He looked like he was really, really getting off on it. Right. File that away for later, but for now.....
"I want you in me now, Lindsey," Angel whispered.
Lindsey swallowed, held his breath, and positioned himself. He slid swiftly into Angel, gasped at the tightness surrounding him, muttered "Oh, man," then he started riding Angel hard.
Angel hissed, "That's it, Lindsey." And he began moving his hips up into it, taking it to a faster pace.
"Fuck, Angel!," Lindsey screamed, just pounding into the vampire now. He couldn't help it. He closed his eyes again, and just moved. Angel wrapped his legs around Lindsey's waist and pulled him closer. Lindsey clenched his teeth and pushed harder.
"Oh, YES!," Angel yelled. He raked his fingers down Lindsey's back, drawing blood. Lindsey wound one hand into Angel's hair, twisted his head to the side, and bit down right on Angel's pulse point....not hard enough to break the skin, but enough to send them both over the edge. "FUCK, LINDSEY!!," Angel screamed.
Lindsey collapsed onto the vampire's chest, just breathing. Well, at least he hadn't passed out. That was an improvement, at any rate, but fuck......he couldn't believe what he'd just done.
"Oh, my God, Lindsey," Angel said.
"Uhhh," Lindsey uttered.
"You just....you almost bit me," Angel said.
"Uhhh," Lindsey uttered.
"I know I told you to channel Angelus....but damn," Angel exclaimed.
"Fuck you, Angel," Lindsey muttered.
The vampire broke out laughing. "You just did.....but we can go again, if you want," he teasingly said.
"I'm too busy dying, can't you see that?" Lindsey said.
"No dying yet, you wuss! We have to take a shower, and go.....pay Spike back for interrupting us," Angel said.
"Fuck Spike, too," Lindsey muttered.
Angel softly growled. Lindsey shivered. "Oh, no you don't. No Spike for you. You're mine, Lindsey McDonald. All mine."
Lindsey raised his head to look at Angel, a smile on his face, his eyes glittering with amusement. "I am?"
"You are," the vampire said.
"Wicked cool," Lindsey said, then bent down to kiss Angel.
~A New Sense~
Lindsey didn't realize what had been bothering him until they were actually in Angel's office. Walking into the clean, nearly sterile environment is what did it. He spent a few moments just inhaling the fragrance of leather, office supplies, and the faint-but-always present aroma of blood. The smell was nearly pearly white perfect in comparison to the smell of sex that now filled Angel's suite.
It was a scent he'd lived with for several weeks now, so he hadn't thought too much about why the scent should be any more pronounced to him now. Yet, it was more pronounced. The fact was, he could smell the sex on Angel, despite the shower they'd had. Underneath the aromas of expensive soap, shampoo, grooming products, Lindsey could smell himself all over the vampire. And it was making him crazy.
Angel looked at Lindsey, who had a strange yet familiar look on his face. As if he was trying to remember something, like it was *right there*, but he was missing it. "Something wrong, Lin?" Angel asked.
"Not really. It's just...." Lindsey broke off, thinking of how to word it.
"What?" Angel said.
"You smell like we just had sex," Lindsey blurted out.
Angel chuckled. "We did just have sex, Lindsey. Several times. But there's no way you can smell it."
"But I do smell it, Angel," Lindsey replied. "I can tell you don't drink strictly pig's blood anymore, I can smell that you've killed demons in here.......God, it even smells like a man peed in your office."
"Oh, hey!," Angel said. "That must be the aspect of Angelus you received. A vampire's heightened sense of smell."
Lindsey looked over to the couch, a smirk on his face. He glanced back at Angel. "You had sex with Eve behind that couch, didn't you? You came several times."
If Angel could've blushed, he would have. "Uh....yes?" He said, unsure how Lindsey would react.
Lindsey snorted. "Damn bitch told me it was *Only one time, Lindsey baby*."
Angel grinned. "Well....she didn't lie.....exactly."
"Humph," Lindsey muttered, not sure what he felt at the moment. Eve was supposed to be his girlfriend. Angel was his lover. Oh, yeah. My life just gets stranger by the second, man.
"If it helps any, I was thinking of you.....after the first few minutes, anyway," Angel softly said.
That made Lindsey laugh out loud. "You're kidding me, right?"
"No, I did. I could smell your scent on her. It drove me nuts, Lindsey," Angel said, smiling.
"Huh, really? So when I showed up Christmas Eve, you were like...I think I'll fuck Lindsey now?" He asked, smiling back at the vampire.
"No!" Angel said. "At first, I just wanted to see if I could make you off-balanced enough to entertain me. I was quite inebriated, you know."
Lindsey laughed again. Then he said, "You know, Angel....if I can smell myself on you, Spike will, too. He'll know I fucked you. How do you feel about that?"
The vampire shrugged. "I don't care about that, Lin. It's not his business, anyway. Hey, don't you have to do some spell, so Spike can see you?"
"Nah," Lindsey said. "I just have to want him to see me, no big deal. Otherwise..." He didn't get the chance to finish, because Angel had moved faster than Lindsey'd ever seen before, and his lips were being kissed. His body was pressed up against Angel's. He wasn't sure just what had provoked the response, but he wasn't going to protest, not while that talented tongue was playing with his. Lindsey arched into Angel's embrace, moaned into his mouth.
"Bloody Hell, don't you two ever come up for air?"
Angel laughed into the kiss, pulled away from Lindsey and muttered, "Don't you knock, boy?"
"What the hell for? It's more fun just walking in on you, mate," Spike said.
Angel moved to lean on his desk, giving Spike full view of Lindsey, who was grinning at Angel, a blush staining his face.
Spike's face lit up in a positively evil grin. He sauntered over to stand in front of the young man. He walked around Lindsey, who crossed his arms, and stood unfazed at the inspection. When the vampire had circled back around to face him, Lindsey raised one eyebrow in inquiry. Spike took in the sight of Lindsey, the build of his body, the hair, the earrings, the face.......and he grinned. "No, you're definitely not a girly-boy. You're awful pretty, though....Lindsey, was it?"
"Yeah, it's Lindsey," the young man said. "Nice to finally meet you, Spike."
"Ooh, listen to that voice. As smooth as honey and as rough as sand," Spike said, getting closer so he could really smell Lindsey. "Um.....you smell so good. Angel, can I play with him, too?"
"No!" Angel and Lindsey said in unison.
"Oh, no fair! I wanna play, too," Spike said.
"Well, you can play all you want," Angel said. "Just not with Lindsey, and I mean it, Spike."
"I don't do that kind of thing, man" Lindsey said.
Spike raised an eyebrow, glanced at Angel, then back at Lindsey. "Smells like you do to me, Sunshine."
Lindsey gave Spike an evil look. "What's between Angel and I is not your affair, Spike."
"No, it's really not, is it? But yet....it is, sort of," Spike said. "Seeing as he has the curse and all. But....looking in your eyes.........I can tell that's not going to be a problem. I can see part of him in you, mate. Your souls.........they truly are connected, aren't they?"
"Yeah, they are," Lindsey answered.
"Did you do it to help or hurt him, Lindsey?" Spike said. "Not that I much care either way.....I'm just curious."
"I knew it was going to happen....just didn't know it would end up the way it has, and none of this is your business, Spike," Lindsey said.
"Again, really not," Spike agreed. "Just wanted to ask before I took off."
"Took off for where," Angel asked.
Spike gave the other vampire a level look. "You know where, Angel."
Angel sighed. "Don't take the Viper, Spike."
Lindsey knew this was about the slayer. Angel looked......resigned. He looked.......like he didn't care. And that told Lindsey he very much did care. It hurt him, and he reacted to the situation without thinking. As Spike turned to walk away, Lindsey said," Hey Spike, got any interesting mail lately?"
Spike stopped dead on the spot. He turned back to glare at the young man. "Who the bloody hell are you?" he said.
"Just someone trying to redeem myself," Lindsey replied.
"You saying you're the one who sent the box?" Spike asked.
Lindsey raised an eyebrow. "And?"
"I take that to mean you sent the amulet, too," Spike sneered.
"Couldn't leave your spirit trapped in a bauble at the bottom of a hellmouth, could we?" Lindsey replied.
"Lindsey...." Angel started, only to cut himself off at the look of fury Lindsey gave him.
"What did you do all this for?" Spike said.
Lindsey said, "You have a destiny, Spike. But you have to choose it. Are you going to chase after the past, like some others keep doing..........or go into the future..........serve your own best interests or.......be somebody who matters?"
"Lindsey, why would you say that?" Angel said, knowing what he'd meant.
Lindsey walked toward the door, too upset, the effort to continue the conversation suddenly too overwhelming.........but as he opened the door to leave, he just had to say it.
"Nothing's ever gonna be good enough, is it? You're always going to be the bastard who cut my hand off. I'll forever be the man who killed Darla, won't I? And you'll never, never, never get over that damn slayer, will you?" With that, Lindsey walked out.
Angel moved to prevent him from leaving, and Spike stopped him.
~Isn't That A Myth?~
Angel
"Let me go, dammit," Angel growled at Spike. "I have to catch him, find out what the fuck that was all about."
Spike just held on to his grandsire. "I could tell you, if you'd just hold up, Peaches."
"I said, let me go, you asshole!" Angel roared at the other vampire.
"No! Not until you hear me out," Spike said.
"You don't have anything to say that I want to hear, Spike," Angel ground out through clenched teeth. "You pissed him off with your sexual innuendoes or something. I have to talk to him!"
"Wasn't anything I did or said, you moron," Spike informed him."It was what you did."
Angel stopped struggling. "I didn't do anything, Spike."
"Yes, you did, you idiot. You got that look on your face. And Lindsey recognized it for what it was. It cut him to the bone, I'm sure. So....he ran. Can't say I blame him, either," Spike said.
Angel looked at Spike in complete mystification. "What the fuck do you mean, I got that look on my face?"
"Are you truly that dense? Don't you know, Angel?," Spike said. "God, you're just like her. Stubborn, hard-headed, and so damn foolish. You can't let go of the past, even when the future stares you in the face. You both keep.........I don't know.......yearning.....for what you both know in your hearts wasn't meant to be. I once told you and her you were Love's bitches. God help me, I was right."
Angel said, "I'm not in the mood to discuss this with you, Spike. Now is not the time for this conversation."
"Yes, it is, God dammit! I know how he felt. I've been there, Angel. Do you even have a clue what it's like? She never did. Or she knew and didn't care, not sure which," Spike said. "But I think....I think you do care. So, I'm going to tell you how it feels. And you're bloody well gonna hear me out."
"Get to the point, quick, Spike. I need to find him," Angel said, resigned to hearing some more The slayer loves me, not you crap.
"Fucking fine by me, mate. You know, I loved Buffy without a soul. I did things for her, helped her out, I saved every one of her Scooby friend's lives at one point or another. At first, yeah...I was doing it just to impress her. I was, I admit it. Then things just.....spiraled out of control, somehow. What with Glory trying to get the Key, Joyce dying, finding out Dawn was the Key, then Buffy died. That was.........I think the worst moment of my life, Angel," Spike said.
Angel looked at Spike, not sure just what to say. So, he remained silent.
Spike nodded his head, glad the other vampire hadn't said anything sarcastic, at least. "Then, when she came back, I was so happy. But she was different. You saw her, you know what I mean. She started coming round to my crypt, more and more as time went by. Finally, I told her I couldn't take it anymore, I couldn't be around her.....and I think it gave her the idea to use me to feel, to feel like she was alive or something. And then....well, the affair started. I don't want to use this as an excuse, because I know what happened was wrong, but Buffy was a total bitch, Angel. She'd make me tell her, over and over, how much I loved her.......how much I wanted her. She did it to hurt me, to hurt herself........and she'd get that look on her face, the same one you just got on yours."
"That doesn't excuse what you did to her, Spike," Angel snarled.
"You're right, it doesn't. I'm not going any farther with what went wrong, but I'm telling you this because I think you do have feelings for Lindsey. I can't even believe I'm saying this, really..........but bloody hell, I don't want to see you fuck it all up, because you're being the bitch now, Peaches. Seeing that look, it hurts more than you can imagine. As time goes by, it eats at you more and more. Eventually, it kills that soft, tender place inside. You know what I mean? The place inside that makes you want to cry when you make love, that place inside that squeezes your heart when you just look at the person you love. Do you know what I mean?"
Angel sighed. "Yeah, I do."
"Angel, you need to think about this before you go running after Lindsey. What does he mean to you, really? Are you just using him the way Buffy used me, or maybe you're just grateful for all he's done for you, huh? I mean, that boy gave up part of his soul, didn't he? And he did it before any of this....this affair started. I don't know why, but he did." Spike paused, thinking. "You need to decide what you really want, Angel. If it's him..........then you need to stop wishing for her, even if you don't realize you're doing it. You need to do this now, before you ruin his life any more than it's already been."
"I have thought about it, Spike. Lindsey, he's...." Angel thought about how to say it. "He's Lindsey. I.....when I think about him, it's just......."
Spike smiled at the expressions crossing his grandsire's face. "Lindsey owns that place inside of you, doesn't he?"
Angel grinned. "Yeah, he does."
"Well, then, you need to explain it to him. Now, in a way he'll understand, maybe.......if you're lucky......he'll be understanding and give you the benefit of the doubt in the future when that look appears on your face," Spike said.
"I hate those kind of talks, Spike," Angel grumbled.
"Yeah, but if you don't tell him......." Spike said.
"What?" Angel asked, expecting another lecture, and when had Spike become so intuitive?
"If you don't....I'll just have to comfort him. That boy is yummy. I really want to shag that one, Peaches," Spike said.
"Keep your hands to yourself, Spike," Angel growled. "God, are you always gonna want the people I do?"
Spike snorted. "Oh, hell, you know I never wanted Darla........and I wouldn't touch Eve with a ten-foot pole."
Lindsey
Lindsey sat on the stool in front of the counter, having realized how hungry he was in his flight from Angel. He couldn't quite remember when he'd last ate. Besides, he hadn't fled that far. A part of him knew Angel would follow him, and Lindsey wanted that more than anything.
The waitress took his order for spaghetti with meatballs, with a side order of garlic bread. It's what the man sitting by him was eating. Looked good. Comfort food, that's what he needed. Wasn't as good as chili, stew or gumbo, but it'd do. He smiled at the ambulance driver, who said, "That's a good choice, man. It's extra good today."
He thought about how stupid he'd just acted while he waited. Christ, he'd known Angel still loved her. And instead of letting it go, he'd acted like a spoiled brat, then run like a girl. He'd said hateful, mean things just to spite Angel....and that begged the question. Just how much had he changed, anyhow? Those things he'd said.....how much of that was a reaction to the look on Angel's face when the slayer was mentioned, and how much was just plain, old Lindsey the evil lawyer? Lindsey had known it would hurt Angel, but he'd said it anyway. In retaliation for that look. How very mature was that?
A part of him had wanted to scream, "Love me, I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere. I want you so damn much.....why can't you just love me?" And the part of him that did know Angel did love him was too proud to say that. He wasn't going to beg, and he was damn tired of coveting another's place. He'd done that with Darla, and he was damn well not going to do it with Angel, too. He was tired of being the one on the outside, looking in. Lindsey had been doing that all his life, it seemed. He was sick of it.
Lindsey had found something with Angel he hadn't expected, much less imagined would be so strong. It was what he'd unconsciously wanted all along, he knew that now. He'd just resisted even the thought of it, because he's always figured the vampire for being too dominating. And if there was one thing on Earth Lindsey strove for the most, it was control. He had to have it. It was what had driven him most of his life. Giving it up to Angel on Christmas Eve had been a revelation to Lindsey. Finding out Angel didn't much care who was top or bottom was even more so. It had quite shocked Lindsey, at first.
Of course, he himself had never imagined what it would be like to be fucked. He hadn't known how amazing a feeling it was. At first, it was the simple fact that it was Angel who he wanted doing it that turned him on the most. All that changed the morning Angel had taken him in the shower. Those strong hands had held him in place and forced him to feel things, things he hadn't wanted to acknowledge. Now, he'd walked away.....Why had he done that? Out of pride? Because he'd been hurt by a facial expression?
Lindsey was wondering why love turned people into raving idiots who did extremely stupid things when the waitress set his food down on the counter in front of him. He smiled and thanked her, then started to eat. Yeah, this was good. Comfort food. Mmm. Then he started wondering: what the hell did Angel do when he wanted (or needed) the same sort of comfort? The idea grabbed his imagination, he began musing on this idea....and he started thinking of ways to apologize for the things he'd said.
At first, that's why he thought his heart was beating faster. Because his heart always had beat a little faster when he thought about Angel. Then he suddenly felt like he couldn't breathe. It felt like there wasn't enough air in the room. He felt like he was smothering. What the fuck? He looked down at his food. Spaghetti. Meatballs. Garlic bread. He wasn't allergic to any of that- wasn't allergic to anyth-
Oh, shit. Garlic. Isn't that a myth? I didn't think that was true. Lindsey tried to draw air in his lungs, but couldn't. He began to panic. I'm gonna fucking die....gonna die.....and I didn't tell him....I didn't tell him.
"Hey, man. Are you alright?" The man sitting by him asked.
"Can't.....breathe," Lindsey uttered. He started pulling at his shirt, trying to make room to breathe. "Help....me. Can't breathe."
The ambulance driver noticed how pink Lindsey's skin tone was. Then Lindsey went down to the floor in his struggle to breathe, the driver yelled at the EMTs, and things got very chaotic. Lindsey didn't feel the sting of the epipen, and he didn't know the thoughts screaming inside his head were coming out of his mouth.
Angel
Angel was on the verge of leaving when Harmony burst in the room, saying, "You have an emergency call on line two, Boss."
"I'm leaving, Harmony. Can't it wait?" Angel asked, a little aggravated. He didn't have time for this shit.
"I think you should take this one, Boss," Harmony said. "The lady sounded really panicked."
Angel sighed, picked up the phone, punched the button for line two. "This is Angel. How can I help you?"
A woman's voice came over the line, and she did sound frantic. "I'm calling from the diner down the street from Wolfram & Hart. Look, I don't know if this is important or not, but.....well, he sounded like it was......so I'm just calling to tell you, all right?"
"I'm in a bit of a hurry, I don't mean to be rude, but could you get to the point, please?" Angel curtly said.
"There was a man in here," the woman said. "He....had some sort of attack. He was eating, and....he must've had an allergic reaction or something. One of the EMTs said it looked like the worst case of anaphylactic shock he'd ever seen. They took him away in an ambulance. I'm calling because the man.....he kept saying your name, telling you he was sorry, saying he was going to die and you'd never know."
Lindsey! Oh, God....no. No, no, no. Angel grabbed a pen, asked the woman where they'd taken him, all the while thinking, I've read his damn medical file. He's not allergic to anything.
"Did they.....I mean, does anyone know what caused it?" Angel said.
"The man kept talking about garlic, myths and he was cursing somebody called the Oracles," the woman said.
Fuck! "Thank you for calling. I'm turning you over to my assistant now, okay? Don't hang up," Angel said. He pushed the hold button and told Harmony, "Take her name and number, find out anything else you can, and don't tell anyone else about this, got it, Harmony? No One."
"Okay. Got it, Boss," Harmony said, leaving.
"What happened, Angel?" Spike said.
"It's Lindsey. He's had a severe allergic reaction of some sort," Angel replied, thinking furiously. "I'm going to the hospital. You're coming with me." Because....if the worst happens....I don't want to be alone.
"What caused it? Did he get stung by a bee?" Spike said.
"No, he apparently ate something with garlic in it," Angel answered. "Come on, Spike. Let's go. I'll tell you a story on the way."
~Home~
Angel opened the door to Lindsey's hospital room, and cautiously walked in, not wanting to wake him up if he was asleep. After the chat he'd had with the doctor about the young man's condition, he wasn't surprised to find Lindsey sound asleep. The drugs they'd given him had pretty much seen to that. The doctor had informed him Lindsey was indeed extremely allergic to garlic. He'd also said he'd never seen anyone begin to recover so fast from the acute reaction Lindsey had to it.
Angel sat in the chair set against the wall directly across from the bed, and he just watched the young man sleep. He wanted to wake Lindsey up, apologize for hurting him, but he wasn't sure how to word it yet. All he knew was....he wanted Lindsey more than he'd ever wanted anything before. He didn't want to lose him over something so stupid as a facial expression, when it wasn't something he was in complete control of.
Spike had stayed long enough to ascertain that Lindsey was going to pull through, and his grandsire was not going to fall apart at the seams. He'd left with a smart-assed comment about not seeking the slayer out until he was positive Angel wasn't letting Lindsey go. Angel had informed Spike he'd better go find his own yummy Southern boy, if he wanted one, because it wasn't going to be Lindsey. Spike had sauntered out, grinning at his grandsire's possessive attitude.
Angel looked at Lindsey in sleep. He appeared so peaceful. He was so.....beautiful. That was the only word to describe Lindsey. Angel had always thought this. Of course, he'd often thought that beauty corrupted by greed and ambition in the past. And it had been. But these last few weeks with the man had shown Angel who the real Lindsey was. He had a beauty inside of him that not only rivaled his outer appearance, but surpassed it. That's what Angel had fallen in love with.
Lindsey had come a long way from that pompous, arrogant young lawyer Angel had met not long after he'd arrived in LA. He'd made a lot of bad choices, made Angel's life a living hell at one point in time. Being held captive by Wolfram & Hart had forced him into facing what he'd become, forced him to see things he most likely wouldn't have on his own. So, he'd made a plan, and when Eve had released him, Lindsey had executed it. Angel smiled, wondering if the young man would have done it, if he'd known what the end result would be.
"About time you showed up, Angel. What are you doing over there?"
Angel was startled out of his reverie by the sound of Lindsey's voice. "Huh?"
Lindsey gave him that adorable half-smile. "I said: What are you doing over there?"
Angel raised an eyebrow. "Where am I supposed to be?"
Lindsey smiled. "In bed. With me. Fucking our brains out."
Angel smiled at the comment, knowing that was an exact replay of the one they'd had Christmas Eve. "You're not up for that right now, Lindsey. Besides, that bed's too small."
"You could at least sit on the bed, Angel," Lindsey said. "I'm sick. You're supposed to humor me, you know."
Angel stood up, walked over to the bed, but he didn't sit. Instead, he touched the side of Lindsey's face. "How sick are you, Lin? I mean, how bad do you still feel?"
"Well, I don't feel like I'm being smothered, so I'll live," Lindsey said, grinning. "But damn....I thought that garlic thing was just a myth. I'm really, really upset about it, too. It pisses me off."
"Because you have a weakness now?" Angel asked.
"No, because I happen to like garlic. I always did," Lindsey replied in a teasing tone. "And now, I can't have it. That sucks!"
Angel laughed softly. Lindsey's eyes twinkled at him. Then the young man covered Angel's hand with his own, leaning into the touch. "Angel, I'm sorry for the things I said. I was hurt and I lashed out at you, and.....I acted stupid....it was hateful of me to do that. Are you....are you very angry?"
Angel said, "I wasn't angry with you, Lindsey. I just didn't understand why you said that. Spike told me.....some things, and I'm sorry.....I didn't know..."
"No, Angel," Lindsey interrupted him. "You don't have anything to apologize for. You can't help the things your heart longs for, any more than I can. I'm sure I get the exact same look on my face, when I hear Darla's name. Like I said, it was stupid of me to do that, I realized that while I was at the diner. I was gonna go back, I swear."
Angel sighed for effect, and sat down on the edge of the bed. He moved his hand from Lindsey's face, taking the young man's hand, enfolding it with his own. "Why did you bring Spike back?"
Lindsey smiled. "You know why, don't be a dumbass."
"You were going to fuck with my head, huh?" Angel said.
"Yep," Lindsey replied.
"What changed your mind?"
"Not long after I mailed the amulet to Wolfram & Hart, I found out from Eve just why you'd become CEO. Up until then, I'd assumed you'd been seduced into it. When I found out the truth, I decided not to do it. I only sent the package to make Spike corporal again because I figured it would snap you out of the depression you were in," Lindsey answered.
"Didn't do a damn thing for that, Lin. I think it made it worse," Angel said.
"Yeah, I'd pretty much seen that by Christmas Eve. That's why I came to you then. Of course, I didn't know you were going to see me, and...." Lindsey's reply was cut off when Angel leaned over and kissed him gently, tongue teasing the young man's lips, until Lindsey opened up and let him in. That hot, sweet feeling shot through his body again, and Lindsey thought Is it always going to feel like this? When Angel paused to let him draw breath, Lindsey whispered, "Why?"
"Why what?" Angel whispered back.
"That's twice today you've kissed me like that. Why?" Lindsey said.
"Don't you know, Lin?" Angel said.
Lindsey thought about what he'd been saying both times the vampire had done it. And it hit him: Angel saw me on Christmas Eve.....because I wanted him to. Lindsey looked into Angel's eyes, saw the truth reflected back at him......
And Lindsey said, "Take me home, Angel."
Angel asked, "I thought you were sick?"
"I'll be okay. I just want to go home with you now," Lindsey insisted.
"For how long?" Angel softly said.
"For as long as you want me," Lindsey replied.
Angel smiled, and kissed Lindsey again, thinking forever sounded just about long enough.
~The End~