Chapter Text
Lexa's dreams started the way they always did lately. Dark, cold and very wet, water all around her. In her clothes, in her hair, in her nose, in her throat, in her lungs, there was no place the ocean hadn't touched her that night. In these dreams she doesn't make it. She drowns, sinking to the bottom of the ocean where she remains to be found but no one ever does.
In reality she survived, it had been a miracle. A miracle she thanked her lucky stars and the entire US Coast Guard for but if it hadn't been for Alta. The one who came first, who pulled her water logged body from the black ocean, who forced that ocean from her lungs and held her as she contacted the coast guard. Held her as she took her first actual breaths between coughing up mouthfuls of ocean water. If it hadn't been for her she'd truly be dead and she wouldn't be lying on a bed.
She wouldn't be able to smooth her hand out palm down across cool bed sheets as she thought over the past month. She wouldn't be able to remember being aware enough to witness the arrival of the coast guard, admiral Luna Rivers at their head in a drenched uniform as the storm continued. The woman shouting commands to her crew as divers hit the water in search of Clarke.
A separate team hauling Lexa on board the ship, doctors working over her until someone shouted that a second person had been found. Unconscious, near drowned, requiring immediate attention. The same doctors that worked over Lexa turning to work over the second. A curtain pulled to block her groggy view as Alta stood next to Lexa's bed.
Lexa heard the heart monitor flat line, followed by yells and rushed doctors as they resuscitated the person. She heard the beeping resume, signaling the person coming back from the deep but still not quite awake. Lexa heard the head doctor inform Luna that the second was comatose, for how long they weren't sure before they moved her to a more permanent location.
Lexa was there when Luna informed Anya that a third and fourth body were never recovered, assumed dead. The coast guard searching the area and following the currents for three days until the search was called off.
The commander and another unknown passenger were officially announced as dead on the fourth day.
Clarke officially announced comatose where she laid in a hospital bed at Tri Kru headquarters on the fifth day. Lexa at her side for the week and a half that followed, not even moving for the commander's funeral. A small funeral as Anya had told her, Anya who was obligated to go as she was one of the heads.
Everything felt like a dream, but it wasn't just a dream. It was a dream that became reality when she woke every morning. As she woke this time it was no different, sitting up with a sigh and the sheets pooling around her waist. The sun wasn't even up yet, the moon still in the sky but falling slowly. Her hand reaching out in the darkness, searching for the person she usually woke beside but finding her spot empty.
Lexa knew Clarke had been having trouble sleeping, she'd had trouble sleeping in the city too. A change of scenery hadn't helped her as Anya had seemed to think it would or maybe it was just the place. Surrounded by an ocean, the same thing that had threatened to take their lives but the safest place for them as Anya had told them. On the island where Lexa learned that everything had begun based on a lie.
The commander's own private island, the now dead commander's private island. The place where the two women sought refuge from the world of the 12, from the heads who still demanded Clarke's blood in their now leaderless world. They weren't alone on the island however, they were accompanied by Alta. The guard no longer tied to a single person who made the decision to guard Clarke and Lexa until a new commander was chosen.
Lexa dragged a hand down her face at the thought, she didn't mind Alta being there. She kept to herself mostly, nearly every time Lexa met her gaze the woman was in conversation with someone on the mainland. Most times it being her wife, Nadira relaying the coming and goings, keeping Alta up to date. Alta who in turn kept Clarke and Lexa up to date.
Lexa pulled herself from bed, pulling on her short sleep shorts before leaving the bedroom. Her eyes well adjusted to the darkness of the house as she wandered down the short hallway. Stepping into the moonlit open room, the sliding glass door leading outside open and the sound of the waves on the beach just barely audible. She spotted Alta lying on the couch, her head resting on the arm and silent in her sleep as Lexa passed her.
Quietly making her way outside and stopping at the first step that descended onto the sandy beach. Spotting Clarke sitting near the water's edge on the moonlit beach, her blonde hair lifting in the gentle, cool breeze. The woman not bothering to look up as Lexa approached her, dropping herself onto the sand next to her with a sigh.
“You too?” Lexa asked, glancing at Clarke. Following the shadows on Clarke's skin that the moon left with her eyes as she waited for her short reply, a mere nod without looking at her. “Same,” Lexa murmured looking away from Clarke.
“Do you think it will ever end?”
“Eventually, just need patience.”
“I hope you're right.” Clarke looked away from the moon, to her bare feet buried in the sand. “They found Costia's body earlier, while you were asleep. Alta told me.”
“Where.”
“In Nova Scotia, Halifax, a fishing boat picked her up.” Clarke scooted closer to Lexa, resting her head on her shoulder. “She isn't coming back this time Lex.” Clarke murmured in a relieved tone.
“I hope not, it would be the start of the zombie apocalypse.” Lexa smiled when she felt Clarke's laugh muffled in her shirt.
“Lexa the zombie killer would be kind of cool though.”
“Maybe but are you okay?”
“I will be, it will take time but I will be okay. Are you okay?”
“Yes.” Lexa replied, Clarke allowing them to fall into a easy silence as they listened to the water lap at the beach before them. The two watching the moon set before them and the sun rise behind them gently, throwing them into the shadow of the beach house.
–
Anya felt uneasy when the plane touched down in Athens, Greece. Meeting the eight other heads made her uneasy, knowing at least one of those eight were out for Clarke's blood. Nadira beside her didn't seem to mind being there, in fact, she seemed quite excited to be there. Her light brown eyes filled with an almost childish gleam as they stepped out onto the streets outside of the airport.
Luna and Sienne greeting them but giving Anya a questioning glance at Nadira. A glance Nadira seemed to catch as she smiled at the two women. Explaining to them that due to her current unemployment situation she and her wife both made the decision to watch over Anya as well as her two assassins. After that the two women understood and welcomed her.
But as Anya, Luna and Sienne left for the meeting with the other heads, Nadira resigned herself to remain at the hotel. Without the woman at her side, Anya felt the weight of her nerves settling heavier than before. The desire to run from the massive office she was lead into overwhelming as she was sat between Luna and May.
She scanned the room as she pulled a mask of indifference over her nerves. Recognizing the other heads from around the world, recalling their names in her head as they began to sit around the conference table. May at the head beside her and a older gentleman she knew by the name of Tsubasa Takeda at the opposite end, two heads on either side of him.
The man gesturing for May to proceed with the meeting, she accepted with a nod. Rising slowly in her seat and leaning over the table, her fingertips lingering on the wooden surface of the table with a serious look.
“We are all aware of what has brought us together,” she began. Meeting each and every eye around the table. “For those who are unaware, the body of our previous commander was found in Nova Scotia following an incident involving Tri Kru assassins.”
“Perhaps such an incident should mark the end of the assassin era May.” A middle aged man stood, looking May in the eye. A man Anya recognized to be Daniel Rojas, his black hair graying at the sides as his dark brown eyes challenged May.
“Rojas, that is not up to us to decide, it is for the next commander to decide and as I understand many heads began with the assassin era. I understand that they would be reluctant to end it, you may wish to silence yourself before you completely ruin your own chances.” May replied to him with finality, a smile ghosting her lips when Rojas dropped back into his seat. “Now, if no one else has anything to add.”
“Before we decide who is to become the next commander, “John Garrett stood as he glanced in Anya's direction. “I would like to bring something forth to consider, regarding TK20 and her decision to allow an innocent to know what we were. In the process killing a respected member of the TK who was under orders from the head at the time, Echo Black.”
“And what would you recommend we do Garrett, the person in question is now a fully trained assassin who was trained by Anya Woods. The current Tri Kru head.” May defended to Anya's surprise.
“Kill her, just as she should have died when she was told, kill her and TK20.”
“TK 20 and 24 are both well trained assassins. They easily took down your man that you trained from childhood Garrett.” Anya stood in fury, trying to bury her emotions as Mr. Takeda raised his hand. Speaking without standing, his eyes trained on the table before him rather than the heads he spoke to.
“Silence,” He spoke as his hand stroked his gray beard in thought. “The assassins in question are trained, I have seen them in action. They show great promise should they continue, as much promise as Alta and Nadira did when they began. If we care to recall their story, they were in a similar situation. Drop this subject and let us continue with what we gathered for.” He looked up slowly, meeting Garrett's gaze until the man sat.
“Thank you Mr. Takeda,” May nodded to him as Anya reclaimed her seat with a soft sigh of relief. “Let us vote, I shall begin and I put forth Anya Woods as my vote.”
–
Clarke sat at the glass dining table across from the open sliding glass door that lead outside. Alta's laptop set up before her and her mother on the screen with a small smile.
“Baby, how is your vacation?” Abby began.
“Good, mom, real good. Lots of sun and sand.” Clarke replied uneasily, she remembered Anya telling her that she'd spoken to her mother. Letting her in on what Clarke was and did for a living, the truth behind her quitting medical school.
Anya had just stepped down off the last step of the private jet. Meeting the worried gazes of Raven, Octavia and Abby, the women pulling her into a hug. Even Abby pressed against her back in silence before pulling away and turning Anya to face her. Questions heavy on her tongue that demanded answers but not quite yet, not until the two were alone. Abby silent as Anya answered Octavia and Raven's questions, her brown eyes disbelieving but her lips pressed firmly together.
“Anya,” Abby had begun. Her shoulders set tensely as she wrung her hands in her lap. “Tell me the truth, not the bullshit you told them.” She asked when they were finally alone.
“Abby, I-”
“Anya,” Abby cut her off, her tone sharp. “Don't lie to me, tell me.”
“If I choose to tell you, then you will need to listen to me until I finish and no sooner.” Anya had explained, watching as Abby nodded. Sitting across from her as Anya explained who they were, what they were and what had happened exactly. Emphasizing on the need for it to remain hidden.
“My daughter is a murderer.” Abby had begun, her head in her heads as she bowed her head towards the floor when Anya finished.
“The people she has killed weren't so innocent themselves Abby, the people I have killed weren't so innocent, the people Lexa killed weren't so innocent.” Anya told her, reaching out and resting a hand on her shoulder, causing the doctor to look up.
“You expect me to keep this quiet, but what happens if I don't?”
“Protocol demands that you are killed, whoever you tell is killed.” Anya answered her quietly, “we are not all killers Abby, remember that.” Anya kept her eyes on Abby, waiting for the explosion of emotion that she expected from the doctor.
“You are nurses, doctors, scientists, teachers, you are in almost every profession known to man but okay.” Abby breathed in deeply, meeting Anya's gaze, “okay.”
“Okay?” Anya questioned in confusion.
“I won't talk, I won't tell anyone, but I need to know what is happening with my daughter right now.”
“Shes safe, hidden, recovering well. No brain damage as our doctors can tell, she responds to questions, she hasn't forgotten anything. But she is worried about you, asked about you numerous times. Voiced her fears if you were to find out what she was.”
“Can I see her then? Can I see my daughter?” Abby asked worriedly.
“When she leaves the facility, yes.”
“When?”
“When the doctors in charge allow it, I trust them, they are good.”
“I want her charts, I need to see them.”
“I understand, I'll bring you a copy as soon as I can Abby.”
“Thank you but I need to go, I need to be alone.”
“Of course, we understand, we'll have someone drive you home.”
Clarke recalled what Anya had told her as she held her mother's gaze. “Mom?”
“Yes dear.”
“You know.”
“I do.”
“Don't hate me.”
“Never Clarke, I will love you no matter what you do.”
“I understand if you don't, not every mother learns their only child is an assassin that kills people for a living.”
“You're right but I have to trust your decisions Clarke, you're an adult, not my baby anymore.” Abby smiled brighter as Lexa appeared in the doorway to the sliding glass door behind the laptop. Clarke glancing at her before looking back at the screen.
“Thank you mom,” Clarke looked up as Lexa wrapped a towel around her waist before appearing behind her. Her hair wet from the ocean, the fact that Lexa could still swim in the ocean despite what had happened still amazed Clarke.
“Lexa,” Abby spoke the name cautiously, her eyes trained on the brunette as she leaned over Clarke's shoulder.
“Abby,” Lexa gave her a small wave and a grin before walking away.
“I should probably go Clarke, I have a surgery soon.”
“Love you mom, save lives.”
“Love you too dear.” Abby smiled and waved before cutting off the video call, leaving Clarke to stare blankly at the screen for a moment before looking over at Lexa.
“Clarke,” Lexa began as she pulled off her bikini top and pulled a t-shirt on.
“Yes Lex,” Clarke closed the laptop in front of her and turned in her seat.
“Can we talk.”
“About?”
“Retirement.”
“What about it, we haven't exactly been doing this for long Lexa.”
“I know but after everything that happened.. I don't know if I want to continue putting you in danger.” Lexa explained, “and I know you can take care of yourself Clarke but I wouldn't be able to live with myself if you died because of this line of work.”
“I understand Lex, and I agree with you. With everything that's happened thus far, Costia trying to kill me.. us. Then that head who is still out for my blood.”
“Yeah,” Lexa crossed the room and knelt before Clarke, her hands on Clarke's knees. “So do you think we should break the news to Anya when we see her again? Or would you like to think about this more?”
“Its something to really consider.”
“She should be back soon from Greece.”
“That's right, shes meeting with the other heads to decide on the next commander isn't she.”
“Yeah,” Lexa replied quietly, rubbing her thumbs over Clarke's bare skin soothingly before standing and kissing Clarke gently, “love you.”
“Love you too Lex.” Clarke smiled as Lexa turned away from her, heading back towards the bedroom. Alta emerging from the office just as Lexa disappeared around the corner. The tall woman halting when she spotted Clarke alone.
“Clarke.” She approached Clarke from behind and picked up her laptop, tucking it under her arm. “The meeting has ended if you'd like to inform Lexa.”
“Who is the new commander?” Clarke asked looking up.
“Not for me to say, but I am happy to have a steady job once more.”
“I'm sure you are, so Lexa and I will wait until Anya arrives?”
“Yes, she wants to tell you in person who the new commander is.”
“Thank you Alta.” Clarke stood and jogged into the bedroom, closing the door behind her as she spotted Lexa's discarded clothes on the floor leading to the bathroom. She walked in without knocking, smirking at Lexa standing in the clear glass shower with her back towards her. The brunette washing the ocean and sand from her skin as Clarke stripped.
“Clarke, I know you're there.” Lexa spoke loudly over the sound of the water. Clarke groaned but stepped in anyway, wrapping her arms around Lexa.
“Damn, there goes my element of surprise.”
“Sorry, I was expecting you.”
“Oh yeah?” Clarke pressed a kiss to Lexa's wet shoulder.
“Yeah.”
–
Clarke buried her face in her pillow and let out a relieved sigh, for the first time in nearly a month she'd slept through the night. Not waking up once because of her dreams at sea, not feeling the need to crawl out of bed and out of Lexa's arms to stare at the sky.
She picked up her head, squinting her eyes at the rising sun through the full glass window next to the bed. The sun glittering like diamonds against the vast ocean as she sat up, Lexa's arm falling from around her waist to the bed with a muffled thud. Lexa picking up her head, jolted from her sleep when her arm hit the bed.
“Sorry babe,” Clarke apologized as the bedroom door opened. Alta standing in the doorway as if she'd just woken up as well, her gray eyes half open and her hair mused up. “Alta?”
“Anya is on her way.” The guard growled and disappeared down the hall, leaving the bedroom door open.
“Guess that means we've got to get up.” Lexa murmured dropping her head back into her pillow with a groan.
“Yep, get up.”
“No.” Lexa pulled the sheets up over her head.
“Get up Lex.”
“No.”
“Get up or I'm getting a glass of ice water.”
“No.”
“Well then,” Clarke stood quickly, pulling on a pair of shorts before shooting off down the hallway. Returning a few minutes later with a large glass of ice water followed by Alta, the guard watching her in confusion as Clarke climbed on the bed. Standing over Lexa with the glass in one hand.
“Get up Lexa.”
“No Cla-” The name never fully escaping her lips before Clarke dumped the water on her. The brunette shooting up as Clarke scrambled away, past Alta with Lexa hot on her heels. The guard watching the duo speed off across the beach house with a cocked eyebrow. “Clarke!” Lexa shouted after her girlfriend.
“I told you to get up!”
“I'm killing Anya for starting that bullshit!” Lexa shouted finally catching up to Clarke, wrapping her arms around her waist and dragging her to the floor. Clarke laughing and struggling beneath her as Alta stepped up behind them.
“How old are you two again.”
“Old enough!” Clarke shouted as she and Lexa continued to scramble on the floor. “I give babe, I give!” Clarke held her hands up.
“Good.” Lexa pushed her damp hair out of her face as she sat back off of Clarke, “I'm still going to kill Anya.”
“I've been gone for days, there is no reason to kill me Lexa.” Lexa looked over her shoulder and smiled at the owner of the voice, Anya standing in the doorway with Nadira behind her.
“You're back!”
“Yeah, I'm back but what the fuck did I manage to do while not even being here?”
“Clarke poured water on me.”
“Nice Clarke, told you it worked.” Anya gave Clarke a thumbs up with a smirk.
“It was fun.” Clarke pulled herself up from underneath Lexa, holding her hand down to her as she stood and pulled her up. “So tell us about the meeting Anya.”
“It was fine.” Anya answered as Clarke wandered off into the kitchen, starting to make coffee.
“Just fine?” Lexa asked pulling herself up on the kitchen counter as Anya sat at the dining table.
“Well, Clarke is no longer being hunted for blood, so that happened and the new commander has been chosen.”
“That's great Anya!” Clarke stood by Lexa's legs, leaning against the counter. “So whose the commander.”
“Me.” Anya muttered, pulling at a loose thread on her shirt.
“What?” Lexa asked in confusion, “repeat that Anya.” Lexa hopped down off the counter, approaching her.
“Me.” Anya repeated louder, meeting Lexa's gaze. “Its me, they chose me.”
“Are they crazy?” Lexa stared at her in confusion. “You haven't even been a head for more than a year and they want you to be commander?”
“Hey! I find offense with your words!”
“Anya! You're the fucking commander!”
“I know Lexa! Don't remind me!” Anya hid her face in her hands as Alta stepped up behind her, Nadira close by.
“Anya, you'll be fine, we'll help you.” She offered reassuringly as Nadira rested a hand on Anya's shoulder.
“Shes right, we'll help you.”
“I know, I know and thank you, I'm just still in shock right now.” Anya sighed as Clarke brought her over a cup of coffee.
“Relax, drink your coffee and I can make you breakfast, anything you want.”
“French toast?” Anya asked hopefully.
“Of course.” Clarke grinned and headed back into the kitchen, Lexa on her heels.
–
Lexa sighed peacefully where she laid on her beach towel next to Clarke, the blonde laying on her back with her sun glasses on in her black bikini. Lexa listened to the music that played off of Clarke's phone in a red solo cup, grateful they at least had one. Spirals by Sound Remedy playing loud and clear, Clarke singing along under her breath with a faint smile on her lips.
She sang along until the song ended, she fell into silence as another song began. “Lex?”
“Yes Clarke?”
“If we do retire, I want to retire somewhere like this.”
“As do I, I like it. Quiet and calm.”
“Yeah.” Clarke turned her head, looking over at Lexa with a soft smile. “So should we talk to Anya?”
“I think so.”
“Talk to me about what?” Anya spoke up as she descended the wooden steps from the deck barefoot.
“We were thinking of retiring.” Lexa answered first as she propped herself up on her elbows.
“Retirement huh?”
“Yeah, after everything that's happened..”
“I get it and I approve.”
“Really?” Lexa asked in disbelief.
“Of course, you guys deserve to be happy after everything that's happened but I reserve the right to pull you from retirement should I need you.”
“I-”
“You choose where you want to settle down, get married and I better get an invite to your wedding, get a dog, have kids, whatever you want. Go ahead you guys.”
“Just like that Anya?” Clarke asked looking up at her with a faint smile.
“Of course porky the pig.”
“Shut up before I break your arm, shouldn't be too hard with your old ass bones either.”
“Bring it porky, I'll toss you to the sharks!” Anya smirked.
“You know you're too old and slow to catch me then toss me.”
“I'll make Alta do it!”
“She wouldn't!”
“She would.”
“Okay you two, quit it. Who is becoming the new head of Tri Kru since you're the new commander?”
“Well, since you're retiring then it would be down between Harper, Monroe, Emori, Daisy, and Lincoln.”
“And if I didn't retire?”
“I choose you take over.”
“I see, who do you think would be best out of those five?”
“Daisy, shes proven to be quite useful. I heard she was even thinking of training like an assassin would.”
“Daisy would be good.” Lexa agreed.
“Yeah, but if you two are retiring, let me know.”
“Will do Anya.” Lexa grinned as Anya walked off down the beach then turned to Clarke. “Well? Retire or no?”
“What do you think?”
“If we retire, I want to learn to swim.” Clarke laid back down on her towel.
“I could arrange that.” Lexa took Clarke's hand, threading her fingers through hers with a warm smile.
“Okay, Lexa.”