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About an hour ago, the chief had locked himself in the workshop with the Warrior of Light and unfortunately, Nero. Wedge had been hoping to ask Kleskizhae if he knew anyone that could hook him up with some dimythrite. Given how widely he traveled, he would likely just happen to know someone and not even think to ask for a finder’s fee because Wedge was his “beloved boon companion”. But whatever it was he was doing in there with Cid and Nero, it was probably going to take a while, so Wedge decided to sit down next to the door and pour himself a glass of whiskey and wait until Biggs showed up to drink the rest of it and keep him company until Kleskizhae came out.
The ruse worked, as always. Biggs didn’t even ask before he sat down next to his Lalafell friend and took a swig for himself. All that they’ve been through together, they were past pleasantries. The two sat in silence, drinking and listening to what sounded like Kleskizhae shouting poetry, or maybe just talking in his normal, bombastic way. The words were indistinct through the door, all they could tell was that it was loud.
“So,” Wedge said, breaking the silence. “What do you think they’re doing in there?”
Biggs shrugged. “Beats me. Probably something about saving the world from certain doom. Or they’re fucking. Either one. Maybe both.”
The noises didn’t sound sexual, more like Cid trying to explain that Starlight had been canceled to a pair of rowdy five year olds who happened to be fully grown men.
Wedge pressed his ear against the door, but all he could hear was Nero complaining that he never got the respect he deserved. Wedge couldn't help but roll his eyes. “I don’t know. Maybe Kleskizhae’s trying to commission a new set of armor, or a new weapon? And the chief wants him to give specifics this time?”
“Maybe. He did one time ask us to make a ‘song of justice as a maiden’s sigh’ or some bull like that. Didn’t that turn out to just be some arrows that could drill through steel plating?”
“Wait,” Wedge said. “ That’s what that ended up being? I worked for weeks to get the drill bits to work! At least the chief gave me real instructions with that!”
Biggs chuckled. “He’s got some sort of Warrior of Light translation dictionary in his head. I don’t know how he does it. Maybe it’s that they’re both patricians and they all got that secret code so they can know something us peregrinus don’t. Kleskizhae just never figured out how to stop using it, I guess.”
Lilja, the newest addition to the Ironworks crew, had been walking by but stopped when she saw Biggs and Wedge on the ground, blocking the door to the workshop and getting drunk.
“Hey guys!” she said. “There some kinda secret you two hiding back there?”
Wedge handed Lilja his glass and poured her some whiskey from the remaining dregs Biggs left behind. Wedge didn’t need that much to get drunk; an advantage of being small that saved him a lot of gil. Or would, if Biggs didn’t have the opposite problem and evened it out.
“The chief’s in there with Kleskizhae and Nero,” Biggs explained.
Behind the door, it sounded like Nero was beginning to monologue. That gave them less than no information about what they were doing in there, since it would only narrow the possibilities if he’d been able to shut up.
Lilja listened for a moment and clutched her hand to her heart. “They’re bonding over their shared tragic pasts! How sweet! I’m glad they’ve got each other to lean on,” she said as if this was the most obvious thing in the world.
Biggs and Wedge looked at her, stunned. “Wait,” Biggs asked. “What tragic past? Like when the chief got amnesia?”
“No! Well, sort of,” Lilja tried to explain. “Apparently Cid’s father was tempered by Bahamut and shot him for trying to stop him from exploding Bozja? And it was so horrible and traumatic that he refused to acknowledge that it happened? For years? And you’ve all heard Kleskizhae’s ballads, right? He obviously has great pain in his heart, carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.”
Wedge pondered for a minute. “I guess Kleskizhae did have a lot of people die around him. Minfilia, Papalymo, that one Ishgardian…”
“Stephanivien’s fine.” Biggs said. “He just came in with a shipment from Skysteel last week.”
“No, another guy! The one with the sword!” Wedge protested. “And the flying lady! Though maybe she’s okay, since she could fly. Gods, what was his name? I can never keep all those Ishgardian names apart.”
“His true love lost… just like in all his songs…” Lilja was in a world of her own.
“So what’s Nero got to be sad about?” Biggs asked. “Getting kicked out of the army for being a terrible tribunus?”
“He’s helping them out because he’s in love with them! Obviously!” Lilja said.
Several sharp, loud bangs came from the other side of the door. It could either be gunshots, a piston, or a cluster of explosions. Maybe even someone stomping their foot very hard and fast.
Biggs didn’t even bother to incorporate this new information. “So you also think they’re fucking? See, Wedge? Told you.”
Wedge sighed, outnumbered. “I guess. I guess they’re fucking.”
Biggs and Lilja began to cheer as the door bolted open with great force and knocked the three over. Either they had tried to open the door and were blocked or Kleskizhae opened all doors by kicking them. Given how he made a living rampaging through monster-filled holes in the ground and killing gods, that wouldn’t be surprising.
“Haha!” the Warrior of Light exclaimed. “Seems I was most correct! Our beloved companions hath been planning a surprise party for us! A most joyous celebration to delight us! I care not that my name day is not for months, for every day spent drawing breath we are born anew! I look forward to sharing in your libations!” He pointed his gunblade at the bottle of whiskey.
“A party?” Nero sneered. “Do you just assume everyone is so taken with your dazzling heroics that they cannot help but throw themselves at their feet to praise you? And you say I’m self involved. No, they were trying to listen in on us, steal the credit for my brilliant ideas!”
Cid sighed heavily, clearly at the end of his rope, “No, there’s clearly been some sort of mishap, maybe a lab accident. Well, where is it? Let’s go!”
The three Ironworks employees stared slack jawed at the three Garlean men.
“You mean you weren’t…” Biggs began to make a lewd gesture, but thought better of it. “We were uh…”
Wedge piped up, trying to save the others from embarrassment. “We were going to ask you about that shipment! From Skysteel! The uhhh…”
“The one with all the crystals!” Lilja said nervously. “Yeah! We were uh, wondering about the…”
“The security!” Biggs interjected. “High value target, so the uhhh, Scions… like Kleskizhae…”
“And Tataru!”
“Tataru isn’t the one armed to the teeth! But uhh, if you could look those over?”
Kleskizhae looked at the three of them, uncharacteristically quiet for but a moment before he broke into a grin. “But of course, my good fellow! Should any brigands befall your precious cargo, the horrors they could unleash are beyond imagination! My dear companions, would you care to join me?”
Cid and Nero left with him without protest. The employees breathed a sigh of relief.
Lilja finally spoke up. “So do you still think they were…”
Biggs and Wedge nodded confidently.
“Oh yeah.” Wedge said.
“Absolutely.” Biggs agreed.