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Neo and Trinity stepped through a mirror and into the lobby of a two-bit motel that pushed the term rustic toward dilapidated. Turning back for just a few seconds as the slivered surface re-formed, they saw a flash of two unfamiliar people as Seq tweaked Semblance. He saw Trin reach for her hair, twisting a finger around a blonde curl.
“Wouldn’t be my first choice,” she said quietly, and he felt a pain in his chest at this small reminder that nothing had been her choice for so many years.
“I always saw you.” He pressed a kiss to her temple and felt her smile. It wasn’t long before the image blurred, a subroutine engaging that continued to give them access to their true identities, both of them standing there in jeans.
He ran his hand over his t-shirt, not a wrinkle visible under his blue cotton blazer. Trinity wore a black tank under a well-worn leather jacket. Around her neck were the necklaces he’d noticed the first time he’d met Tiff. Seeing them now, he wondered if they were a piece of Tiff she chose to keep or a small part of Trinity that couldn’t be buried, and he loved that he might have a chance to ask that question. Someday.
The owner of the motel had her feet up and was watching a football game on a tiny black and white at the reception desk. Neo hung back a little as they walked by, appreciating the soft sway of Trinity’s hips, the graceful ease with which she moved. The owner didn’t even look up as they passed through the front door and into the rain. Evergreen trees lined both sides of the parking lot, making the sky look darker than it actually was. A black car, looking important in a way that seemed government issue, stood running, its back doors open. The headlights highlighted the perfect drops of rain falling, a hint of copy and paste in an otherwise wildly complex system.
“Mr. Anderson.” The driver stepped from the vehicle to hold the door.
“Thank you, Francine.” Neo went to help Trinity settle into the nearest seat and smiled when she breezed by him, sitting down and closing the door on her own. He walked a little too quickly around the car and saw Francine smile before she took the driver’s seat. She had worked for Deus Machina for as long as he could remember, and he was sure she hadn’t seen a woman with him before, at least outside of business hours. He slid in beside Trinity and the car pulled out of the lot and onto a curving road that was cut through seemingly endless trees.
Trin looked at him, a lock of black hair falling over her forehead. “You gonna tell me where we’re going?”
He rubbed a hand over his beard, shifting a little in his seat. His feet tapped nervously on the floor of the car. “I just …” He cleared his throat. “I know we’ve only been on IO for a few weeks, but … I feel like I never apologized.”
“For what?” Her tone was gentle but her eyes sparkled with mischief and her voice lowered to an octave he felt in his groin. “Just for the record, last night could count as an apology.”
His grin matched hers and he exhaled in a rush, lowering his voice as well. “No, it doesn’t. I love doing that.” He also loved watching the colour rise on her cheeks. “And you’re distracting me.”
She shrugged. “It’s a bit of a hobby.”
He laughed at that, free and easy and wondered how he ever deserved it after taking almost 20 years just to say hello to her. “Look, I know how hard it was for you when you got out of the pod. What it took for you to recover as much as you have and I feel like … like in trying to help you those first few weeks I somehow stopped listening to you.” He took a deep breath. “About 20 minutes up this road there’s a bridge. The name is covered by my company’s NDI as it’s apparently the best of the best spots. It’s a 200-foot drop, with a 160-foot rebound.” He smiled when her eyebrows disappeared into her hair. “It’s not skydiving, but I think I can handle it. If you’ll hold on to me.”
“A tandem jump? That’s what we’re talking about here, isn’t it?”
“Yeah.”
She seemed to evaluate the idea, biting the edge of her lower lip. “I’ve never done that, not on a bungee anyway.”
“We come up every year with Deus Machina. A work retreat, team bonding, that sort of thing. The jumping’s for the kids.”
She glared at him. “You let children jump off bridges at your work parties?”
“No,” he laughed. “By kids I mean Jude.”
“Ah. Mr. Extemporaneous.”
Neo rolled his eyes. “That’s one way of describing him. Anyway, I took care of all the paperwork. You just … you’ll have to sign the waiver.”
Though excitement at the thought of the jump was clear on her face, she reached across and took his hand. “You don’t have to do this. You know that, right? The flying. It’ll come back on its own.”
It’s all right if it doesn’t. I already got everything I wanted.
“Oh. No.” He shook his head, squeezing her hand. “That’s not it at all. Maybe it’s stupid, but I just want to feel what you feel when you come here.”
Her repair had been minimal and she’d suffered badly in the first few weeks out of the pod. The Matrix became her refuge from the pain, from the limitations of her body, leading her to take more and more risks. He had reacted with fear. She’d had to break through it, to show him what she needed, leaving him with regret.
No more.
She waggled her eyebrows at him. “So Thomas Anderson has a wild side.”
He smiled, ruefully. “Uhh, sorry to disappoint. He just sat at the bar an hour away and enjoyed the view. He ... I … have some trauma around heights.”
She nodded. “Google did mention the roof.”
It was disconcerting, the double identities, the pieces of different lives that slid in and out of the conversation. But somehow it was okay. Like Thomas gave him some distance from everything Neo failed to do in those early weeks.
“Yeah.”
***
The road wound higher and higher. The trees beside them now stood on shelves of rock, water flowing over every crack and fissure. Wipers beating endlessly, the car pulled into an almost empty gravel-covered parking lot.
Set amongst the trees at the far end was a small wooden cabin with the sign Icarus Bungee Adventures emblazoned on the side. He was nervous to begin with, but that unfortunate name didn’t help until he reasoned that the point was to fall after all. A man greeted them, handing Trinity some papers and a pen, and she wandered over to a high table so she could sign off. He then extended a hand to Neo.
“Name’s Alan.” He was tall and lanky, and had an energy about him that was infectious. “Really appreciate the tip, Mr. Anderson. Just tremendous. Deus Machina has always been very good to us. You worked there long?”
Neo shook his hand and couldn’t help but smile. What was he expecting? Twenty company parties and he’d never shown his face once. “Yeah, you could say that. First time jumping, though.”
In a manner of speaking.
Alan’s grin grew wider. “You won’t regret it. I’d recommend touching water. Nothing like it.”
Neo shrugged and looked at Alan from under the fall of his hair. “I think I’ll stick with vanilla. Whatever that is.”
“It’s your party. And your loss,” Alan said as Trinity approached and handed the papers back to him. She looked around at the rather expansive cabin, at the photo area and the shelves laden with T-shirts and souvenirs then looked back at Neo.
“It’s just us?”
He couldn’t help but feel a bit sheepish, mostly because he’d never thought to use his status in all the time he’d lived this life. “Uh, world-famous video game designer … trying to impress a girl?”
She rolled her eyes, shaking her head. Alan was taking a second look at him, but Neo decided he might have found the only person in the area who had never played the game. It was such a relief.
Alan and two other members of his team led them over to an adjoining room and measured their weights before he began to go over safety and describe the details of a tandem jump. He cracked horrible Dad jokes, trying to keep the mood light, but Neo could feel his palms start to sweat. He blamed the fact that Trinity kept brushing against him as they were fitted with harnesses, but his heart also felt like it was somewhere in his throat. Finally, they were allowed to step out onto the bridge.
Holy shit.
For a moment they just stood, taking in the view. The green, metal bridge spanned between two cliffs; every surface of the rock was covered with old-growth trees and soaked with water. The wind whipped rain into their faces as they walked toward the jumping pod. A gorgeous blue river roared by underneath them. It might have been breathtaking if nervousness hadn’t already taken it away.
Music pumped into the wind when they approached the pod, which was at least distracting. As they were positioned facing each other, their harnesses connected and the cord fastened around their ankles, Trinity hugged him. He put his arms around her, and pressed her close, feeling a bit desperate - love, fear and regret all swimming inside him. She set her cheek against his and he felt the words: “I got you. Don’t look down.”
As their harnesses were adjusted and checked, the infectious chorus of some 90s grunge song was irresistible to their shaky nerves and they started to sing, out of tune and fully butchering the chorus as it blasted over the trees.
In the sun.
In the sun.
Mary.
She giggled, her lips beside his ear. “I think it’s ‘married.’”
“Don’t care.” He turned a little and kissed her.
They began to shuffle toward the sound of the water, stopping when the back of Trinity’s boots hit the edge of the jumping platform. He held to the harness behind her back, and she held to his. The instructor was saying something and he focussed on every word like they were lifelines. Trin had to fall back to initiate the jump but didn’t have the weight to drop them both on her own. He had to push forward too.
We fly or we don’t. Together.
He knew he wasn’t supposed to look down, he just didn’t know how easy that would be, because the only thing he wanted to look at was her. Her hair was wet and her blue eyes stood out in contrast, her lips paled a little from the cold. She looked focussed and calm but he could feel her fingers playing with the harness behind his back. He had reached terrified, feeling his every failure to fly before and trying not to doubt the algorithm that calculated their combined weight and the length of the cord. Then she smiled, everything she felt for him plain on her face, and he didn’t need a countdown. She closed her eyes and fell back as he pushed off his toes.
There is no spoon.
For an instant, they hung there, just the two of them holding each other, surrounded by wind and rain and empty space.
And then they dropped.
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
His scream followed them all the way down, his stomach somewhere in his shoes. It turned into their laughter as the bungee slowed their descent with surprising gentleness and shot them back up, turning the laughter into the craziest adrenaline kick he’d ever felt as they plunged down again. There were no thoughts. No pain. No regrets. Just the most beautiful relief riding a wave of energy he could feel down to his toes. And he understood. Because the fear that had gripped him since well before he was Thomas was suddenly, blissfully, gone.
He’d managed to yell something ridiculous like, “We did it!” when the rope stopped bouncing and they swung like a pendulum over the bright blue water. She just held him tighter, a gorgeous smile on her face. Every single inch of them was pressed together, and his body felt like a live wire. It was all he could do to be patient enough for them to follow instructions and adjust so they were upright and holding the cord when the bungee began to winch upward. Most people would have enjoyed the view, but he was too busy trying to steal every breath she had, while her hands twisted in his hair. Her lips and tongue were so soft and warm amid the bracing wind and cold water on their skin. The contrast felt incredible.
When they reached the platform his body was humming and a horrible awkwardness settled over the situation as they waited for the ankle and body harnesses to be removed. He tried to help with the one around his waist, to keep anyone from … noticing. He could hardly look at Trin and the length of time he could sense her smoothing her clothes and adjusting her jacket told him she wasn’t any better off. She took his hand then and they managed to thank everyone. He didn’t remember the bridge being this long, the cabin door this far away.
“They are so totally fucking.” The words were in the wind, and definitely from the staff behind them, who may or may not have judged its direction.
So much for not noticing.
At least he had prepaid.
Alan’s exit speech was excruciating. Trinity’s hand tightened in his several times. Neo really didn’t know but Thomas may have promised to purchase half the cabin to move it along. Alan’s mention of another exit through the gift shop was, however, a godsend.
It was still raining when they finally hit fresh air, a narrow path led into the trees and they took it, not really caring whether it led back to the parking lot. They veered off and further into the underbrush.
She pulled him to her with both hands fisted in his T-shirt, and he stepped just close enough to put his hands into the warmth under her jacket. The euphoria of the jump was still there, just under his skin, on the edge of every nerve ending. He was calm and fearless, part of him still soaring in mid-air.
His palm found her breast at the same time as her lips found his. He pushed her until her back rested against a wide tree trunk, and teased her nipple to a hard peak beneath the layers of fabric. The noise she made into his mouth moved him from hard to aching. Water ran on and over them as they kissed and he gasped when she ground her hips into him, clearly enjoying what she found. Her leg came around his waist opening her more and he pressed closer, reminded of the times he’d taken her against a bulkhead on the Neb, or enjoyed the slight rocking motion of the inside of an elevator as he pressed her against it repeatedly.
His hand shifted to the waistline of her jeans, desperate to push enough clothing out of the way, to move inside and with her, to freely give her what he knew she loved. But she grabbed his hand and pushed it down and away, breaking the kiss and resting her forehead on his shoulder.
“Don’t-” stop. He regretted it as soon as he started saying it. Because not so long ago he had done this to her. She had surprised him in their quarters on the Mnem, fresh from the Matrix yet still unsteady and in pain, her hands under his shirt and her lips on his chin. He’d been so afraid to hurt her that he’d ended up walking away. Knowing now how she was feeling, how the energy must have burned inside her, he deserved this. This and so much more.
For a moment she just stood there, breathing, and his chest ached with the rejection. She pushed past him to where he couldn’t reach her, her fingers playing with the zipper of her jacket while she shrugged it closed.
He said what he should have said a long time ago. “I’m sorry.” For not listening. For not understanding what you needed, then and now. For--
“This”--she finally looked at him, gesturing around them--“isn’t right. It hasn’t been right for years.” She stepped closer and reached out, running her hand along his face, brushing her fingers lightly over his beard, and his lower lip. “You and me. I know it can’t be … the same now. But this … us … it has to be real. Please.”
It was the last word that hurt so much to hear. Despite weeks of physiotherapy, she still struggled with her left hip. Still had some lack of feeling in her left arm. Still carried so many scars. The thought that this somehow made things less was unbearable. He kissed the tips of her fingers, enjoying her sharp intake of breath. “From the moment I woke up in that pod, all I wanted was you. Do you know what’s changed since you woke up?”
“No,” she said softly, lifting her chin.
He knew she needed to hear it. “Nothing.”
When she got on her tiptoes to kiss him, there was a salty taste to the rain that ran over her lips. “Let’s go home,” she said against his mouth, a slight shiver running through her.
He kissed her one more time, realizing that she’d never referred to IO that way before, and stepped back. Catching her gaze, he looked down over his body, trailing a hand along his chest and down to where his jeans hid absolutely nothing, inviting her eyes to follow. “I’m gonna need a minute.”
He loved the sound of her laugh.
***
The 20 minutes back to the motel were absolute torture. After less than 5 minutes, both were glancing at the driver and then at each other.
“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” she said then.
“That this car is too damn slow?”
“Actually it was.” She raised her voice and her eyebrow-”Seq is a torturing bastard”-then lowered it again. “Same difference.”
Seq appeared between them in the car in all his teched-out glory, looking from one to the other, enjoying the awkwardness. “Sure, criticize a guy for offering you some privacy. Exit’s ready. Motel’s all I got.” He grinned. “No need to hold back though. I’m sure Niobe would enjoy the show.”
“Fuck you, Seq.”
Trinity had teed it up and Neo could tell Seq couldn't resist getting the last word. “As long as Neo’s there, I think I’m safe.”
***