Chapter Text
Dan leaned against the window tiredly as Chris and Elise drove. The short-lived sugar was catching up to him (something that he knew would happen), and he was fully prepared to sleep as soon as he got home. Something about Jean was irking him, however, and he found himself eyeing his own reflection in the window.
With his eyes, he traced the shape of his eyebrows. They caught their own gaze, and he then looked away. He made eye contact with Chris in the rearview mirror.
“By the way,” Elise started, “Eagle’s Nest says we get time off until you heal.”
“What?” That made him sit up a little more, “Why not pair you with someone from the north end?”
“Nobody available. In the meantime, some of the newly-promoted Highers will come back down to take our place temporarily.”
“As long as it’s not Pauper and Pin, I’m fine with that.”
“…”
“Are you kidding me?”
Chris thrummed his fingers on the wheel when Elise didn’t answer, glancing back at Dan in the rearview.
“So… is it like this all the time for you guys? When you’re… working…?”
Dan’s eyes shifted, both in position and emotion, and he leaned back against the window. He twitched minutely when his braced wrist clipped against the clasp of his seatbelt.
“Yeah.” Then, tacked on at the end, “Most of the time.”
“Most of the time?”
“Don’t worry about it.” Dan shifted again, as if the conversation was already making him uncomfortable.
Elise frowned, “Oh come on , Dan. You’ve spent your whole life fighting gangs and criminals. This is what gets you?”
“Yeah, this is what gets me . Do you know the kind of day I’ve had this week ?”
Elise shook her head and raised her hands defensively.
“And what about me?” She asked, “I found out my mom is ‘The Lady’.”
“So? I only asked about that in case you were going to get taken off of her cases. Really, she’s a criminal, you’re an assassin of criminals. Easy solution, and not my problem! My problem is that you two are going to keep making it a thing . And I hate ‘things’. ”
“Nobody’s making it a ‘thing’, Dan.” Elise sighed.
He sat up a little more, the frown on his face deepening with annoyance.
“Then what is this?” He gestured to both Chris and Elise, “I have yet to hear any single solid question or response from either of you about any of this because you’re too scared to talk about it!”
“Why didn’t either of you tell me?!” Chris suddenly yelled, silencing the both of them. The pressure of being stuck in a car with people who almost hate each other was getting to him.
They looked equally surprised, but Dan found it was him Chris was looking at in the rearview. The car came to a stop, and Dan realized Chris had pulled the car to the side of the road. Shit.
“How long have you been a spy? And… Why didn’t you say anything?” Chris repeated.
Dan fiddled with the seatbelt he wasn’t wearing. Subconsciously, he buckled it in even though they were already well on the journey home. He twisted the band over in his hands, let go, and did it again.
That was a new nervous tic. He hated it.
“Probably… probably since I was 7 or something. I… didn’t want you to get involved.”
“How long would you have hidden it?”
Dan didn’t want to answer it. He didn’t.
“How is that fair ? I thought we were friends, Dan!” And he sounded so genuinely hurt just enough that Dan felt himself freeze up, and pain lanced through his wrist at the sudden tension.
“We are ! Chris, you-“ he stammered, “look, maybe in highschool I would’ve said something if-if- god you’re a pain in my ass! You were too innocent Chris! You had great parents and you were boring and you joined clubs and I fucked that all up for you! How was I supposed to just go up to you and say ‘oh yeah I’ve been sword fighting in Germany for three years but I’m back to pretend I’m not a spy by committing several crimes against humanity?’, huh?”
“I would’ve understood.” Chris said, “I’m not dumb, Dan. I never was.”
“It’s not about that! I couldn’t let someone like you get involved! You aren’t trained to handle anything we’re involved with!”
Chris just turned to Elise next, leaving Dan’s statement to hang in the air, “And you. We’ve been together since we started college! Did you even think about it?”
“Of course I did! Way too much, even.” Elise sighed, looking away and down, “I thought… well, I thought the same thing Dan did.”
Chris glare softened just a little. Dan felt insulted that it took her to convince him.
Elise continued. “It’s not that we didn’t trust you, Chris. We just didn’t want to see you become a target. It was to protect you because we love you the way you are.”
“Don’t push it.” Dan grumbled, arms crossed over the seatbelt to resist playing with it.
“That…” Chris sighed, “That makes sense. Sorry I uh… got a little mad there.”
Elise just patted his arm gently, and they both looked back at Dan.
Dan averted his gaze, looking vexed and confused.
“Dan? I uh… I’m so-“ Chris started, but he was interrupted by a harsh kick to the back of his chair.
“ Drive. ” Dan growled, and Chris did so.
The ride from the funeral to home seemed so much longer than it had the other way around.
Dan relaxed as it got quieter, and as the couple in the front seemed to forget about him. He slid down in his seat. Playing with the seatbelt more as he stared at the floor of the car.
“Mr. Tadesco was the scout who put me in the business.” He said, in a solemn voice neither of them had heard since the Snowman incident.
Elise and Chris reacted two completely different ways. Elise looked confused. And Chris looked surprised.
“I still have his scalp somewhere! And he wanted you to become a spy?” He ignored Elise’s (‘You have what?’ ) in the background.
“I guess so. When I got home, my mom told me I was going to live and train with someone else while she got a divorce.”
Elise cringed at the thought. That must’ve really, really sucked.
“It was… probably the best thing she could’ve done for me. For once.”
Huh?
“What do you mean?” Chris asked further.
“You know how she treated me. Sending me away was, in all honesty, a great idea.”
Elise really wished she knew what that meant. Judging by Chris’s expression, Dan probably didn’t have a good childhood in the first place.
Yeah, that tracks.
“So then what?”
“I did physical training for the rest of elementary school and then went to germany for fighting.”
“And then you came back and started working?”
“Kind of. I still did classes while I went on smaller-scale missions”
They grew silent again.
“Sounds tiring.” Elise said.
“You would know.” Dan replied, and she did.
“I guess so. I went to Japan during my highschool years, though. I needed additional training in stealth.”
“Why couldn’t they have sent me to Japan? No wonder I have to do all of our European negotiating.”
They grew silent again, and they both looked at Chris.
Chris looked neutral. He didn’t look at either of them.
By the time they reached Dan’s apartment, he was ready to just hide away from the world. He was long due for a period of shutting everything out to get some good sleep. It’s really too bad Chris knows him well, though.
“Dan, wait.” Chris said before the other could get out, “I’ll walk with you.”
Dan stepped out and waited accordingly for Chris to join him at his side. They started up the stairs.
“I’m… I’m sorry, Dan. If I upset you-“
Dan stopped, and Chris stopped in kind.
“What?” Dan looked confused.
“What?” Chris repeated. Dan rolled his eyes.
“Chris, I’m not upset .” He replied, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. He started walking up the stairs again, and Chris found himself picking up the pace to catch up.
“You’re not?? But what about in-“
“Yeah, that lasted for like, a minute. I’m over it.”
“…I thought you’d be more mad that you were exposed, actually.” Chris murmured.
“That was a relief , more like.” Dan answered, “I didn’t want to tell you, but do you know how long I spend convincing myself I shouldn’t do that? The winner was the fact that you wouldn’t be able to escape someone who wants to hunt you for information.”
Chris crossed his arms, “I could.”
Dan paused again to look at him disapprovingly.
Chris silently conceded.
“Maybe with some training, but that would take a million years.” Dan grumbled.
Chris sighed as they reached Dan’s door, “Anyways, what are you planning for the rest of your day?”
Dan stopped to consider this genuinely. He was going to just cuddle his cat and sleep, but…
“I think I’ll start drafting my next revenge scheme. Do you think you can learn to turn into a bear on command by tomorrow?”
“What?” Chris got nervous. It still wasn’t very often that either of them brought up the fact that Chris was basically a real life animorph, “No! What would you need that for? And what about your wrist?”
Dan tsked, “Chris, I forgot to tell you that I got stabbed with a sword . You think I really care about my wrist?”
“Well, I would hope so!” Chris argued, but Dan held up his hand suddenly.
“ENOUGH digressing!” He said firmly, “You’re turning into a bear tomorrow. I need it so you can climb trees and scout for me because I need to heal.”
“So it is an issue.” Chris recoiled slightly at Dan’s bared teeth, “What am I scouting for again?”
“Camp Atrocious for turning me into a spy without my consent.” Dan said. Like it was a normal statement. Chris was almost at a loss for words.
Almost .
“He was literally the first person you ever got revenge on, Dan. Is that not enough?”
“That was for the stick. This is for literally the rest of my life!”
Chris took the opportunity to take a closer look at Dan, searching for smaller details about whether or not Dan was being serious. He was being serious, most definitely, but there was a wild, abnormal glint of malice in his eyes, and his injured hand shook ever so slightly with the amount of gesturing he was making it do. His tone did not reach his expression.
Chris came to a conclusion. Dan was just really, really tired.
“You need to go to bed, Dan.” Chris said firmly.
“What? Why?” Dan questioned.
“Remember when you told me to worry only if you started getting revenge for no reason?”
“That has literally nothing to do with thi-“
“It’s getting really close, Dan. Look, go get some sleep and then call me, and if you still want to do it, I’ll help you.”
Dan started to open the door, fully prepared to ignore Chris, before his keys were snatched out of his hand.
“W-hey!” Dan’s hand trailed after the keys for a moment after they were taken, but then Chris held them too high to be retrieved.
“- and I’ll give you your car back. But only if you sleep.”
Chris was almost afraid for a second that Dan would actually kill him, but then Dan rolled his eyes and complained as he entered his home.
“Of all the days you choose to wear the pants…”
And then he slammed the door. Just to make a point.
Chris heaved a sigh of relief.