Chapter Text
Orochimaru POV
Tsunade burned.
Orochimaru watched it happen as if time had slowed to a fraction to its usual speed. The explosion engulfed her moments after she placed a chakra barrier over her form, its force penetrating her defenses and reaching its mark.
He watched the wings she’d conjured fizzle out. The phoenix she’d summoned squawked as flames consumed it, the severed connection with Tsunade shooting them back to their own realm.
He watched as Tsunade’s headless, lifeless body fell to the ground, making contact with a resonating thump .
The battlefield was quiet.
Her chakra dissipated, just as it had in that ambush by the Kumo-nin, but faster. Steadier, as if it was leaking out of her.
The Gods must’ve judged that the pain spearing his chest wasn’t enough: the fallen body of his lover then caught fire, only for it to fade mere seconds later, leaving nothing but ash and dust where she once stood.
Orochimaru roared .
The sound wasn’t even remotely human, nor did it resemble the soft whisper of a snake. He tasted coal, the chakra coursing through his pathways feeling akin to molten rock paving paths atop the earth; he was lava in that moment, he was fire, he was death. It was on pure instinct that Orochimaru allowed his jaw to fall open, making way for the fire that emerged from his chest, dousing Hanzo’s salamander in it while the man himself barely managed to dismount on time.
Tsunade was dead .
He wouldn’t even have a body to bury. A grave to sit by as he mourned.
She was dead .
It was supremely unwise to engage Hanzo in short range unarmed but Orochimaru didn’t have it in him to use anything but claws to mar the flesh of his opponent. He could control Kusanagi telepathically, still, forcing Hanzo to dodge the projectile while Orochimaru himself tried to carve his eyes out. “It was you, then! The lover.” The masked shinobi sounded cheerful, even as sweat beaded on his forehead. Orochimaru could hear Hanzo’s heart race as he assessed his new, disadvantageous position. “Sorry. She seemed like a good woman, but you know how war is-”
Orochimaru wasn’t quite sure what changes occurred to his physique to allow it but he suddenly had just enough range to extend his neck forward and bite Hanzo. The brief contact allowed him to use Tsu– her technique for increasing pain signals, making the man scream as he pulled Orochimaru off by the hair and retreated. “What-”
Jiraiya sprayed him with acid, covering mid-range where Orochimaru no longer could. His teammate was pale and sweating profusely - he’d need one of the medics’ aid to cleanse the poison from his system soon-
His help.
There were no two medics left. Only one.
Tsunade was dead .
And, exactly as it transpired on the day his mother bled to death, Orochimaru didn’t have it in him to fight his need for revenge . Not long enough to save her and certainly not long enough to save Jiraiya.
The fight was a blur. Hanzo fought him off with Water jutsu and that wretched kusarigama he wielded, wounding him twice for each blow Orochimaru inflicted.
No matter. He’d suffer anything - as long as Hanzo bleeds .
Jiraiya collapsed at the side of the field some time later. Orochimaru still fought, healing himself while continuing to assault their opponent.
He no longer wielded Kusanagi, too exhausted to do much more than endure .
“You’re a monster.” Said Hanzo, removing his mask to wipe blood off his lips and spread his poisonous breath. Orochimaru, like many others, knew his weakness - one good strike to Hanzo’s abdomen, to the source of his power, would kill them both. “What a magnificent sight you make. Come at me with all your might and I may grant you an honorable death.”
Orochimaru cared little for honor.
He cared little for most things.
What he cared for, in that moment, was vengeance . What he craved was blood .
The bladed side of Hanzo’s weapon cut open his stomach. Orochimaru fell forward onto his knees.
Then Hanzo did the same, Orochimaru’s own sword sticking out of his chest.
“Good one.” The shinobi coughed out more blood, looking down at the weapon.
The blade twisted, then slashed sideways, bisecting his body and leaving it to fall to the muddy earth below.
“Holy shit move your hands .” A blonde woman slapped his fingers away and began tending to his injury. “I’m going to stabilize you and then I’m headed for Jiraiya. His breathing is worryingly shallow-”
Orochimaru ripped her hands off him as soon as his wound was sealed and pushed the enemy to the ground, the blade of his sword which he’d retracted from Hanzo’s corpse pressed under her chin. “Who are you.” He growled, barely registering his own voice over the frantic beating of his heart in his ears.
Dead . Tsunade was dead .
But this woman who wore her face was no unskilled impostor - she mimicked Tsunade’s chakra near-perfectly, had managed to replicate her scent , and even the slight shift to her features when Orochimaru voiced his threat was perfectly reminiscent of his dead lover’s expressions.
This couldn’t be. How far gone was he, then, to let hope bloom in his chest when the fire he so loved flickered in the kunoichi’s dark eyes?
“This isn’t the time for this!” The woman saturated her palms with chakra and pushed the weapon away, beginning to rise, only for Orochimaru to pin her down in the same manner again.
“Your signature is different.” And you died , he didn’t add.
Tsunade furrowed her brow and cast a diagnostic. Her eyes then widened almost comically. “ Holy - Orochimaru, my chakra-!”
“I’ve noticed .”
“I’m me.” The blonde assured him, her beautiful eyes broadcasting nothing but earnesty. “How can I prove it to you?”
“You know how.” He sneered, if only to not betray the desperation trying to trickle into his voice.
She cursed quietly and considered his demand. “Ryuchi Cave.” The woman recalled. “There had to have been a better way to transport me-”
“Others could have watched the method.” He spat, unsatisfied with the answer - though not as inclined to suffocate the hope expanding in his chest as before.
“The flowers you got Nawaki to make for me?” The woman - Tsunade? - tried again.
“No.” This time, some of his emotional turmoil did bleed into his tone. The kunoichi didn’t seem to notice, however, too set on matching an answer to the near-impossible riddle he’d laid before her.
His trust had never been easy to earn.
“Let me summon Akira.” She tried again. “No one but me could.”
Orochimaru nodded, getting off her with great effort but still tightly gripping the hilt of his sword. The woman cut herself on a blade of her own then pressed her thumb to the ground, summoning a creature that was unmistakably a one-winged phoenix.
Orochimaru moved away from her, his heart beating in his throat.
Tsunade rushed to Jiraiya and tended to him - would he have died if Orochimaru detained her a few seconds longer? Would his teammate have perished due to Orochimaru’s inability to correctly sort his priorities, just like his mother had? Would he one day be able to subvert this cruel fate that seemed so insistent on haunting him, leaving him to bear the guilt of his inadequacy for eternity?
None of it mattered. Tsunade was alive.
“Is that Hanzo the fucking Salamander?” The kunoichi croaked, having dragged Jiraiya back to where Orochimaru was tending to his own injuries with what little remained of his chakra. “That explains the poison but what the actual fuck are we doing in Ame?”
“You don’t remember.” Orochimaru finally caught on, eying her warily.
“No.” She confirmed. “Last I recall we were retreating from Iwa. Let’s find shelter and then you can fill me in, alright?”
Tsunade POV
That would be the second time she lost her memory. The second time she was aware of, at least - could there have been more? Shit, were there more? How much time had she lost, completely unaware, potentially at the mercy of the likes of Danzo?
Also, why were they in Rain, which Hanzo had explicitly declared to be under his protection? Why were they fighting The Salamander, and how the fuck had they emerged out of the battle alive? What would happen to Ame now that they’ve killed its only guardian?
“No one can know.” Tsunade said quietly once a fire was set up and Team 7 had dried themselves in the cave they occupied - after Jiraiya was tended to, of course. “We need to return his body to the village and make sure no one knows that he’s gone. Iwa would eat them alive.”
“You died.” Orochimaru changed the subject with little finesse, staring at her with narrowed golden eyes. Red-rimmed golden eyes. Had he been crying ?
She registered his declaration with a slight delay. “What?”
“Your head was blown off. Your auto-healing has limits - which you’d finally been unfortunate enough to discover, Princess.” Tsunade leaned onto the nearest cave wall to maintain her balance. “I’d congratulate you if I were any less inclined to throttle you right now.”
Bile rose up her throat. “Orochimaru-”
“You were then engulfed in flames. You were reduced to ash within moments.” He kept talking, as if possessed. As if not speaking the words would obliterate him just as thoroughly as they were eviscerating her.
“I-”
“And then you rose. From that same pile of ash that ought to have been the last of you. You died .”
Tsunade wanted to dismiss his accusation as an impossibility.
But she couldn’t, not when Orochimaru’s eyes were bloodshot and he looked moments away from a complete meltdown.
“Akira?” She addressed the phoenix who'd been almost eerily quiet for the entirety of their retreat from the battlefield.
“You died twice.” He confirmed, some foreign, unnatural quality clinging to his voice. “Your automated healing restored you before the fire could, the first time around.”
“In Kumo.” Supplied Orochimaru, having caught on before she could.
“I- I am reborn from ashes?” Tsunade stuttered. “Like a phoenix?”
Akira bobbed his head. “The price for mastering our arts was immortality. You knew this when you chose to study them.”
“I’m immortal.” She repeated, struggling to come to terms with this bizarre reality.
“Effectively.” Akira agreed. “You cannot be killed by wounding the flesh - not while you have the chakra to restore yourself.”
“Thank you, Akira.” Tsunade pressed her cheek against his beak, said her goodbyes and sent him back. She needed time to process this revelation and doing so in the company of an immortal being who failed to see the downsides of their predicament would only do her harm.
“Your calm is infuriating.” Orochimaru hissed through gritted teeth. “I’m of half a mind to wrangle your neck myself-”
“I’m not calm. I’m panicking, actually.” Tsunade cut him off, her cheerful tone contradicting her words. She couldn’t look at him, not until she sorted through the chaos ravaging her mind, so she lowered her gaze to her trembling fingers. “I should be glad, shouldn’t I? I made a fatal mistake in battle and lived to tell the tale. I can’t be killed through standard means; every shinobi would wish to bear that gift.” There was moisture on her cheeks and it wasn’t the rain still battering their shelter. “But I can’t find it in me to be happy.”
“Not for the fact that I’ll get to see my family again.” The words were pouring out of her mouth with no regards to her desire for silence or the privacy to ponder her thoughts. “Not for the fact that both my teammates are with me, relatively whole.” Her voice cracked. “Not for the fact that I got to see the sunset, a vision that I had practically stolen from the reaper’s bony hands.”
“I didn’t think this through when making the decision.” She finally admitted. “I thought I had. I thought I understood what I was signing up for. But I didn’t, did I?” She looked up at Orochimaru, finding him staring at her intently. “Am I going to watch my siblings age, wither and die? And you ? Or will you be lost to me in a battle much like this one-”
“Tsunade.” His hands gently cupped her cheeks. When had he moved to touch her? “ Breathe .”
Still set in the fight-or-flight mindset, the kunoichi obediently took a deep, shuddering breath despite the pain in her chest. Her teammates would always look out for her safety in battle. Always .
“Again.” His voice was soft, his eyes saturated with warmth that had chased away his previous fury. “Slower.” Tsunade allowed herself to drown in the beauty of his face - the gold of his irises, the purple markings around his eyes, his sharp features, his pale lips.
Orochimaru coached her with uncharacteristic patience despite the unmistakable shaking of his own fingers, betraying the fact that he was equally unwell. “Sorry.” Tsunade managed eventually, flushing the last of the adrenaline out of her system with the use of chakra.
“Thank me instead.” He kissed her forehead then retreated, allowing his hands to fall back down.
“Thank you.” Tsunade amended, taken off guard by his demand. “I- I shouldn’t be the one making a scene here. I left you to fight against fucking Hanzo the Salamander alone-!”
“You truly don’t remember him.” Orochimaru murmured, tucking a rogue strand of hair behind her ear. She’d forgotten to tie it up, apparently, following the great effort it took to rid the strands of most of the water that clung to them.
Rather than remedy that disparity, Tsunade furrowed her brow. “Hanzo? No. I don’t.”
“You had a rather cordial conversation.” Orochimaru informed her, bitterness clinging to his words. “He flirted with you. You were receptive .”
“No fucking way.” She rejected the notion immediately, waving her hand between them. “I’d not do that. Never .”
“How else would you explain letting him touch you?” Orochimaru pushed.
“Was I, like, negotiating with him or something?”
“Perhaps.”
“Of course I’d let him touch me, then. I’m a kunoichi .” She seethed, finally aware enough of what transpired to draw her own conclusions.
“You don’t use your feminine wiles frequently.”
“Please never use these words in a sentence ever again.” Tsunade found herself saying. “Also, why are you so set on this? Out of everything that happened, what irks you is my potentially flirting with Hanzo?” He’d know that she’d never discard him for another. He had to know. Was she so neglectful in showing her affection, her devotion, that he’d possibly think-
“I was distracting you.” Orochimaru kissed her with all the reverence of a man returning home from battle, biting at her lips with insistence that left little doubt to the fact that he wished to cause her some small measure of pain. He then wiped her tears and kissed her eyelids before leaning away. “Your breathing has settled now.”
So it did.
“Let's discuss this properly.” He said, his voice level and his chakra still in a way she found calming. “What do you remember happening last?”
Orochimaru patiently walked her through the events she’d forgotten - the retreat, her conversation with Hanzo (which she suspected he’d exaggerated but no matter - Jiraiya would tell her whatever Orochimaru neglected to say, once he was conscious again), the battle. Her demise.
“You seem to have uncovered the cause for the change in your chakra signature?” He prompted her.
“Oh- uh.” Tsunade swallowed thickly. “Yeah.”
Orochimaru raised one slender brow but said nothing.
“It seems that - my chakra control will need a little refinement. Because of the changes.” She tried to clue him in without explicitly stating her meaning.
Orochimaru, Gods bless him, immediately stepped into Medic-Mode. “You have trouble channeling it?”
“No- ugh, fuck it. My reproductive system is back up.” She blurted out, so bewildered by that fact that she somehow found it embarrassing . “Dying apparently entitles me to a full reset. Whatever, it’s no big deal, I can make sure we don’t have unintended consequences-”
“Your rebirth has undone the damage we wrought?” Orochimaru repeated, wishing to make sure that he understood her correctly. How fast had she been speaking?
“Yes.”
He hummed. “Curious. I thought the change might have to do with you finally managing to replicate your grandmother’s seal.”
“What- I didn’t-” Tsunade cast the diagnostic again, focusing on the tenketsu on her forehead.
She’d struggled with the finalization of the seal for weeks - she’d already stored all the chakra it could hold but it was still leaking . Gods - did her damaged chakra system make it impossible to ‘bottle up’ the chakra-?
“Holy shit I did it ?!”
“Congratulatulations.”
“Quick, Orochimaru, hit me.”
His face twisted in the same manner a toddler’s would following their first taste of lemon. “I shall not .”
“Come on!” She insisted. “I want to know if I still have the conditioned reaction to pain.”
“ What conditioned reaction to pain?” Orochimaru asked warily.
Heat rushed to her face. “I never told you.” Tsunade realized. “I am - an unbelievable asshole. I’m so sorry. So, uh, when I was perfecting my auto-healing, I did so by sending pleasure signals to my brain whenever a wound was successfully healed-”
“And now the effect is replicated whenever you endure pain.” Orochimaru, now a medic almost rivaling her in skill, could draw the necessary conclusions without Tsunade spelling them out.
“To a minor degree!” She hurried to assure him. “I undid most of the conditioning with some help from Kagami.”
“I would’ve struck you now -not to grant your request but to satisfy my fury- if you would not derive pleasure from it.” Orochimaru hissed, covering his face with his hand. “You can, at times, be so frustratingly reckless .”
“I was a kid.” She defended herself. The glance he shot her as an answer made Tsunade reevaluate her response: “Ok, yes, I should’ve known better. At least I have the rest of eternity to learn my lesson-”
“This -your supposed immortality- has shaken you deeply.” Orochimaru pointed out. “Why?”
“Because I don’t want to sit by and watch you die!” Her words came out in a whisper-yell. “Dying myself is easy . I won’t be the one who mourns. But I never before had to imagine a world without you -”
“You promised to resurrect me if I died, once.” He reminded her. “Does that promise no longer hold?”
“What if you didn’t want me to?” Tsunade croaked. “What if you were ready to move on?”
“Then we would work together to find a way for you to pass as well.” Orochimaru assured her, as if it was the simplest thing in the world. “I am not convinced that your immortality will hold. You lack moderation and could easily end up at the mercy of an enemy while low on chakra. What then? You would be the one who perished.”
“You would find a way to bring me back.” She said with utter certainty.
“But how long would that take me?” He pushed. “Would I retain my mind and its stability, in that time? I do not react well to threats to your life, Princess. I can’t imagine I’d react well to one that succeeds.”
“I’ll be careful.”
“You cannot promise me that. Not when your heart is not solely mine but is shared by your siblings, your family, your friends. I would not ask you to forsake them - in turn, don’t ask me to believe that you can ensure your safety.”
Tsunade had no answer to that.
“You guys are so dumb sometimes.” Jiraiya startled them both, considering that he was still breathing so shallowly that they’d assumed he was out. “I don’t know how I tolerate you. Just say your ‘I love you’s, kiss and get some sleep. My head fucking hurts.”
Tsunade choked on a surprised laugh. “Sorry dude. Let me check on you.” With a simple touch of her hand on his forehead she managed to alleviate the majority of the pain. Orochimaru took that time to remove any remaining poison (or whatever it broke down into) from Jiraiya’s system. He was out like a light.
“I love you.” She told him simply, pressing a chaste kiss to his lips. “First watch is mine. I’ll wake you when your chakra is up far enough. We need to deliver Hanzo to the village as soon as possible - covertly .”
“You are too generous.” He murmured, leaning in for another kiss. “He killed you yet you worry about the fate of his people.”
“That shouldn’t surprise you.”
“Not at all. You carve out alliances out of the most bizarre situations.”
“You think they’d agree to one?”
“Once the war is over. Perhaps.”
“Sleep.” She implored him. “Preferably with your head on my lap. I want you close.”
Something in Orochimaru’s shoulders relaxed. It was as she suspected - he had a hard time assuring himself that she would still be here when he woke up.
Tsunade maneuvered his hand to the pulse point on her wrist, letting him encircle it, and gently ran her fingers through his hair.
He found sleep rather quickly. Orochimaru, the paranoid asshole that he was, fell asleep in her lap.
Tsunade figured that it counted for more than the ‘I love you’ he hadn’t said back.