Chapter Text
Their trip had been undeniably successful— an alliance was underway, the party Bella had hosted had been a total success, and most of all, Eli had been able to spend plenty of time with Ronald after that first night. They’d met up at different balconies, by some unfortunate luck. From there on out he spent the trip with Ronald, from dawn to dusk. Eli had, of course, been sad to return home, but with their new business, Andrew assured him they’d be back.
Only a few days after they returned, Eli received an invitation to eat dinner with his king and queen, rather than eating alone in the guest hall like he usually would. He tried to make himself look presentable, thinking back on what Andrew had said as he stepped into the wide dining room where the couple was already seated. Aesop sat at the very end of the table, as was expected, and Andrew was seated to his right, gesturing for him to sit across from him on Aesop’s left. His heart was surely racing from anticipation when it was so clear they had something to tell him.
For a moment they ate their rich dinner in silence, before Aesop cleared his throat and began to speak. “I’d like to thank you again, Lunar Phase, for letting us know about the famine. You’ve saved us all a lot of heartbreak.”
Andrew nodded in agreement, placing his hand, covered as always by a black glove over his husband’s. “Lady Bella and I have been working out an agreement for the alliance since the day you told us, and we’ve finally come to a conclusion.”
“That’s wonderful. I’m glad I could help,” Eli felt rather proud of his scheme, smiling pleasantly at the two.
“Mhm,” Aesop looked back at his wife for a moment before turning to the seer again. “Along with exchanging food and supplies during the famine, we will also be sending her a gift as binding.”
Eli didn’t follow, his eyebrows dipping inward with worry as he waited for an elaboration. “We will be binding our kingdoms, and sending you to marry Lady Bella shortly after your eighteenth birthday.”
“I don’t understand,” Eli stammered after a pause, dropping his fork against the fine china of his plate. “I can’t marry her, I don’t even…”
“Please don’t worry, she’s a nice young woman. You’re almost the same age, too. She’s only just turned eighteen.” Aesop waved off his concern. “This is for the safety of our alliance, you know. To make sure nobody backs out.”
Eli’s fluttering heart had sank to his stomach in an instant, dread laying over him like a heavy blanket. “You can’t be serious . I’m too young to get married— don’t you need me for my future vision?”
The prince shrugged, “More or less. We’ve gotten by without your sight for hundreds of years, and Lady Bella needs advice more than ever.”
He turned to Andrew then, as if Eli wasn’t in the room, “I can’t imagine being so young and having to deal with famine. It must be terrible.”
He was trying desperately to catch Andrew’s eye, but he refused to look over at him, keeping his eyes locked on his husband. “Truly, my heart aches for her. Lunar Phase will be a great gift to her in these times.”
Eli wanted to rise to his feet and grab Andrew by the shoulders, to shake him and ask if he was listening to himself.
“We’ll handle all the wedding arrangements, so don’t worry yourself about that.” Aesop said after a pause, his cerulean eyes locked on the young seer. “It’s perfectly normal for people in the courts to get married like this. You'll get used to it.”
Unable to look at them, Eli waited to be excused back to his room, to stare at the ceiling as the sun set overhead, filling his room with orange and pink light from his huge window. How could he be so stupid? He certainly couldn’t admit his faults now, as that would just cause more turmoil, especially with Lady Bella. He quickly found himself restless, the setting sun basking him in a golden light as he removed the blindfold, staring into one of the mirrors and being met with empty blue eyes.
How could they do this to him? He was only a boy, he couldn’t be expected to marry a queen— to become, what, a king? Would he be expected to have children? His stomach pooled with nausea and he placed his blindfold back on, not that it mattered much or impacted his vision. Stumbling off into the palace halls, he dragged himself through the castle like a storm, trying to walk off the angry, nervous energy. He stopped only when he came upon one of the balconies facing the setting sun, where Andrew stood by himself, holding a full glass of wine in one hand and resting his elbow on the railing to support his face with the other.
“Did you know?” He asked, borderline hissing at the man in front of him.
Andrew turned around, silhouetted by the colors of the sky behind him. “Know what?”
“That he was going to marry me off?”
“Ah, that.” He gently swirled the wine, a slight smile gracing the empty beauty of his face. “Yes, I did. In fact, I was the one to suggest it.”
Eli couldn’t help but gasp, anger rising in his throat like vomit. “You can’t be serious.”
“I’m very, very serious, Lunar Phase.” His smile turned into a grin, pink light washing over his pale skin. “We were at a stand still. She was afraid we’d back out last minute, and we had to make it clear we wouldn’t.”
Andrew kept on talking, his accent slipping through between the wine and his borderline exhilaration to share his plan. “Don’t pretend she hadn’t been making eyes at you all night. I knew what she wanted, and I knew what we could do to make this deal run smoothly. It seemed like a perfect solution.”
“What about me?” The prince may not have been able to see his teary eyes, but he could hear his voice cracking with overwhelming emotion. “You think I want to marry her? I don’t even know her!”
Cheese rolled his eyes, finally taking a sip from the glass he clutched between his long fingers. “Of course you don’t, but it’s for the best. For everyone .”
“Not for me!”
“Yes, for you.” He sighed, looking out over the balcony and towards the setting sun, golden light washing over his delicate features. “Didn't I tell you? You’re not your own person, Eli. We’re both merely extensions of Hamlet, and soon you’ll be Lady Bella’s. That’s the way it has to be.”
“I am my own person; do you even hear yourself? What are you talking about?” Eli couldn’t help but raise his voice in time with his rising blood pressure.
“Don’t talk back to me, boy.” Andrew hissed, gesturing towards him with the glass, a little bit of red wine splashing across Eli’s white robes. “You have to understand, when you become royalty, by birth or by possession, if you aren’t an heir, you’re the property of whatever heir takes you in. You have to keep that in mind.”
“That isn’t fair,” he stepped forward, wiping at the spot on his clothes. “Nobody owns me. I didn’t ask for this.”
“Nobody asks for it, and yet? The world keeps turning. Your life will go on, married or not.” In a fit of anger, Eli leaned in and pushed on Andrew’s arm, sending his glass of wine forward and onto his white nightgown.
Andrew's reaction was much milder than he would’ve thought, as the red liquid seeped into his clothing. “You know, Lunar Phase, I’ve done you quite the favor. I haven’t shipped you across the world, or torn you from your little crush, yet you treat me so poorly.”
He grabbed Eli by the chin, leaning down to face him at the same level. “I don’t want to hear you complain about this situation ever again, when I’ve done you such an undeniable kindness. I don’t care what becomes of you. I don’t care if you run off with that actor on the night of your wedding, and I don’t care if I never see you again.”
“I had no such opportunity, do you understand?” He released his grip, stepping back and gazing back off into the sky, which had taken on a dark, twilight color. “Do you remember that painter I mentioned? He was to me as that actor is to you, and I never saw him again after I was married. I’ll never see him again.”
One thing about Eli’s foresight, was that he sometimes was blessed with other people’s memories, of pasts he hadn’t experienced. Looking into Andrew’s angry golden eyes, he could, for only a moment, experience whatever tragedy had led him to this moment. He wanted to experience it, to justify how someone could ever sign off on something so cruel.
* * *
“As all of us are aware, our kingdom has been going through unpredictability trying times. Disease, famine, frigid temperatures.. but a solution has come at last!” Oven raised a glass of bubbling champagne and the two other adults at the table followed suit, clinking the glass together while Andrew watched, unmoving. “Finally, we’ve been able to join forces with another kingdom and compile our resources.”
Nodding along with the rest of his family, Andrew lifted up his fork, gently pushing around the dessert on his plate. “In exchange for their alliance, our kingdoms will be connected via marriage, to ensure nobody backs out. Of course, due to the circumstances, I offered up our Andrew’s hand.”
Andrew could feel the eyes of his father, Oven, his half brother, Ganji— no, Lava Cake, now that he was an adult— and of course, his brother’s husband boring into his too-pale skin, waiting for his response. Elated excitement was what they wanted, but Andrew’s bottom lip began to tremble in an instant.
“I don’t— I don’t understand..” He mumbled, feeling rather cornered. “I don’t know him, I haven’t even seen him..”
When Oven laughed, it shook his whole chest like gelatin, and he was certainly shaking. “Oh, don’t be so vain. Plenty of people get married without seeing each other. And anyway, you’re not exactly a beauty yourself, you know.”
Everyone laughed at that, because it was very, very easy to laugh at Andrew’s pigmentation, or more accurately, lack thereof. In a Candyland full of the brightest, most appealing colors you could combine into a person, he stood out like a sore thumb among his family. He was underbaked. Andrew stared down at his plate as he pushed the food around, trying to garner an appetite as his eyes swam with tears. Surrounded by his family here, he couldn’t help but feel weak.
“But— daddy, it’s a whole continent away.” His pitiful voice shook, barely above a whisper. “That’s too far. When will I see you all?”
They fell very quiet at that, because Andrew was not protesting, throwing a fit, or any of his usual antics. “I don’t want to, daddy, please don’t make me.”
“Think about how much it will help our country.” Ganji reached across the table, placing a warm, gloved hand over Andrew’s. “People are dying, you know. Your people need this— we need this.”
“Won’t you miss me?” Tears were really falling now, and he sniffled miserably in front of all of them. “Won’t you miss me at all?”
“Don’t start with all that,” Oven’s voice turned from almost aloof to stern and commanding in a single moment. “You’re being selfish.”
He shook his head, burying his face in his hands to sob, drooling on his pretty white gloves. “Please, daddy, I’m sorry. But— I can’t, I can’t marry him, please don’t make me marry him.
“I’ve spoken to him before, you know. He’s a nice young man, a performer.” William offered after a long pause, which just made Andrew’s chest tighten harder.
Oven rose to his feet, his huge, heavy feet thumping on the floor as he approached his son, easily plucking his head out of his hands and looking him in the eye. “It’s not an option, not for you, not for me, not for any of us. Do you understand that, Andrew?”
He let his son’s face drop after he nodded and sniffled welty, leaving the room without another word. Ganji and William were quick to follow suit, leaving Andrew to his misery.
As he recounted the story, he could practically feel the anger radiate off Edgar’s body, especially as he began to cry again and reached for a handkerchief. “They can’t do that to you, it’s not right.”
“It’s not fair, I’m too young to get married.” He dabbed his sloppy tears away, sniffling weakly. “But I can’t do anything about it. I’ve got no choice. The boy is only thirteen, it really makes me sick to think about it.”
The painter, his best friend and his lover, was getting rather red in the face. “Don’t they care about you at all? How can your own family do something so cruel?”
Edgar pulled him into a tight hug without asking, lowering his voice and raising his lips to meet Andrew’s ear. “What day are you leaving? The night before, you can slip out and we can meet in the gardens.”
“ What? Edgar, we can’t!”
“We can, we have to. Do you want to get shipped across the world and never see me again? We can elope, if you want, we can do whatever. We’ll go somewhere far away, where you’ll be mine.”
His chest heaved and he shuddered in his lover's arms, “You have to promise you’ll be there, okay? You swear?”
“I swear, I swear on everything.” And for a long while they stayed there, silent and peaceful, until inevitably, Edgar had to head back home. He was a noble, not a royal, and they did not live close.
“You promise, no matter what, you’ll be there?” He said, catching Edgar’s hands in his and pressing a kiss to his nimble fingers.
“Of course. I’ll see you later, Andrew..” He stepped out the front door, his eyes lingering on Andrew’s longer than ever as he retreated back to his home.
The night before his escape, the night before his freedom, Andrew had slipped into a nondescript outfit and tied his hair out of the way, ready to slip out of the palace as quickly as possible. Edgar, his Edgar, would surely be waiting for him now. Even if they could never be Andrew Kreiss and Edgar Valden again, they’d always be each other’s.
But when he turned the knob of his door, it didn’t budge. He shook the handle several times, horror settling in as he realized it wouldn’t turn, that someone had locked him in. Calling for help didn’t gain any responses, and he started to bang on the door, uncaring of the late hours. Two pairs of footsteps soon slid up to his door, not nearly loud enough to be Oven’s.
“Ganji— Lava Cake, whatever, you have to open the door. You have to.” He pounded his weak fists against the door in desperation, tears spilling out of his eyes.
“I can’t, Andrew.” His voice was calm, levelheaded and mature, but still deeply saddened. “You think I want this for you? You think I have any control over this?”
“You have enough control to unlock my door and.. and let me go,” he whimpered out, his fists slowing as he fell slumped against the door, supporting himself with only his arms. “You don’t have to do this.”
“I do. We need this money, we need the resources. People are starving, Andy. They’ll just keep dying if we don’t have this alliance.” He sounded like he could’ve been crying, too. “I know it’s not fair, I know you don’t understand it now, but you will. I’m doing this for your own good.”
Andrew couldn’t even speak, tears running down his face as he sobbed, sliding to the floor and leaning the back of his head against the door.
“You’re just a kid, Andrew. It’ll make sense one day, why we had to do this. You’ll be glad we did. It’s for everyone’s sake.”
Their footsteps steadily retreated into the night, just like Andrew’s tears slowed to a near stop. A plinking sound drew his attention— the sound of pebbles hitting glass, coming from his window! He leapt to his feet, quickly wiping his eyes and scrambling to unlock his window and stare down at the painter below. His window had thin bars keeping him from being able to slip out, so that certainly wasn’t an option, but he was sure that they could figure something out.
“Edgar, oh, Edgar.” He whimpered, tears of sorrow replaced with joy. “They locked me in, I’m so sorry I couldn’t meet you. I’m so glad you came.”
Edgar looked up at him, his eyes glistening as Andrew reached a thin arm between the bars, wanting to hold him more than anything. “Oh. Did they?”
“Mhm, but I can figure something out. Maybe in the morning, I can slip out before anybody notices..” Edgar did not meet his touch, standing back from the window.
“We can’t, Andrew.” His voice was so sullen that his arms retreated back inside. “I’ve been thinking. Thinking a lot, you know.”
“I don’t— I don’t understand.” Andrew’s mouth has gone very dry in a matter of moments.
“I’ve been thinking, and I don’t— oh, Andrew, you know I love you, but I can’t abandon this life, not yet. It hasn’t even begun yet. Even if we got away, we’d die like everyone else. I couldn’t support us.” He wouldn’t look at him, his eyes glued to the ground. “My family supports my art, l my Andrew. They want to send me to a college, just so I can paint.”
He swallowed hard, “But listen, Andrew, listen. Once I’ve got my own money, once I’m somebody , I’ll come and find you. Who knows how we’ll feel by then? Maybe you’ll be happily married, and you won’t need me anymore. But if you’re not, I’ll be yours. Just— just wait for me, alright?”
“You can’t— you can’t leave me!” Andrew mewled, clutching the bars, the only thing keeping them separated. “Edgar, you promised, you promised you’d help me!”
“I’ll wait for you too, I swear. I won’t see anybody else, not until we meet again.” Edgar stepped back, his eyes glistening with tears and he continued on as if he hadn’t even spoken. “You’re the most beautiful boy I’ve ever seen, Andrew. I’ll paint you a thousand portraits, so I’ll never forget your face.”
He shook the metal, like he could tear them free and run to meet his lover. “Why would you promise to stay with me if you were just going to back down? Please, I’ll do anything.”
“I love you, I really do, but this isn’t child’s play. You’re royalty, Andrew. They’d find us, anyway.” Edgar turned around, not wanting to see his face on the peripheral. He didn’t even look back as he started to walk away, his feet loud against the gravel he stood on.
“Come back, Edgar, please come back. I can’t marry him, I’ll never love anyone more than you.” Andrew sobbed out his name, reaching out again, as if to reel him back in, to keep him standing at his windowsill for as long as they both lived.
Andrew cried out his name long after he disappeared into the darkness, on his knees and cradling his aching head in the darkness, crushed with dread. He could barely breathe from how badly he ached, a puddle of tears and spit forming below where his head hung low. God, he was so disgusting.
He raised his head, eyes so puffy he could hardly see, gazing into the sky from in between the metal blocking his view. A single shooting star crossed his vision in the dark, starry sky, and he clutched his hands in prayer, wishing on that star for happiness, no matter what that looked like.
When he’d stepped out of the carriage the following morning, having been perpetually sick for hours on end on the boat and then sat behind an angry man for his entire ride on land, he was already upset. Two maids had greeted him at the door, one older and one younger. The old woman, with her scraggly grey hair and face worn down with lines had caught his face the second she’d had a chance, squinting to examine his face. He was already embarrassed, sure that she’d make a snide comment like everyone back at home.
“Oh my goodness, Emily, come look at this boy.” She gestured towards the other woman, who joined her in scrutinizing his features. Andrew was already on the verge of tears, standing out in the sun and getting picked on by wait staff, of all people.
“Oh my,” she paused, brushing brown hair out of her equally brown eyes.
The older woman sighed almost wistfully, “Isn't he just the most beautiful boy you’ve ever seen?”
Eli decided that was far enough, releasing his grip on Andrew’s mind and returning to the present, where the man in question was still looking at him with rage in his pretty golden eyes.
“I couldn’t recover. I could never, ever recover from losing him. Not until I grew up and found love right here, with Aesop.” He placed his hands on Eli’s shoulders. “I’m giving you an amazing opportunity, to stay with your little lover and to never know what it’s like to have that torn from you. Consider yourself grateful you won’t have to suffer as I have.”
“But I don’t want to marry Lady Bella!” Eli stood back, as if keeping his distance would help him any. “Shouldn’t you, of all people, understand not being forced into something like this?”
Andrew’s visible eye began to twitch, and in a split second he had shoved Eli to the hard floor of the palace hallway, his head hitting the hard marble so hard his teeth rattled in his jaw and his ears began to ring. Standing over him, Andrew’s expression was that of a grimace.
“You need to watch your tone, boy. You may have grown into royalty, but it’s in my blood. We will never, never be on an equal enough level for you to speak to me like that.”
He leaned over Eli, the stain on his nightgown starting to look like blood, dripping down from where his heart was located. “To talk about me like you were there, like you could ever understand what I’ve been through.”
He took a deep breath as if to compose himself, before he spoke again, his voice shaking from anger. “You’ll marry that girl, because it’s been decided for you. End of story. Do you understand?”
Eli nodded, his head spinning. That didn’t suffice, though, as Andrew’s foot connected with his side, “I said, do you understand ?”
“Yes—!” He croaked out, curling in on himself as Andrew stepped back. “I understand, sir.”
“You know, Eli, in some other world, in any other situation, we could’ve been friends. You’re a nice boy.” His footsteps were quiet as he retreated back to his room, nearly silent, just as perfect as the rest of him. “You’ll understand, one day, why I’ve done this to you. One day, you’ll thank me.”