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to sinfully reach the heavens just for you

Chapter 7: emotional sweetening

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

“Itsuki,” Nazuna’s voice echoed, “you truly are insane.”

“Insanity got me what I wanted.” Shu replied coolly, “Now before the gods change their minds, just hurry up and give me what they promised.”

“Not so fast.” Nazuna shot back quickly, “Before I can give this to you, there’s a few things you have to keep in mind.”

There were only two things Shu had to remember.

The first was to make sure he never let go of the ball of magic, even if it burned and scalded him down to his bones. He had enough demonic magic to prevent him from absorbing it, and the conflicting energies would be enough to prevent the magic from leaking out and wreaking havoc on the human world.

The descent back down to the human world burned just as much as the angelic magic did. Shu could smell it burn his hands, feeling his nerves grow numb in response. He immediately forgot about the pain from his horn, for every sensation focused on the burn.

But once he resolved to do something, he would be hellbent on it. He had come this far after all.

The second was to make sure Mika absorbed every last drop and ray of the magic. It didn’t matter where, but his chest would be the most receptive. All Shu had to do was hold out until he could push everything into him.

Only then could he rest.

Rest, rest, rest…

When Shu came to, the first sensation was a foreign but faintly sweet feeling in his mouth. He licked around it, and assumed it to be a towel dipped in sugar water. This only told him that he had been asleep long enough for Mika to resort to such tactics to hydrate him.

The second thing he noticed was that the pain of his broken horn was gone. He didn’t dare reach up to touch it, but knew that the blood dripping from it was cleaned up.

The third thing, the most important thing, was a cloud of black feathers next to his bed. It was Mika, his wings covered most of his body. He was sleeping, hugging Shu’s hand underneath his head.

Shu could feel his light breathing on his hand, the warmth of which prevented Shu from pulling his hand away.

And Mika’s wings glowed, albeit faintly due to the candlelight, but they still glowed. It was his reason for taking Nazuna hostage, the reason he ripped his horn, the reason he suffered his way back down to the human world.

Of course they were glowing, they had to be, or his efforts would be in vain.

He began to wonder if Mika was mad at him for leaving for so long. Shu was vaguely aware of how much time passed in the human world when he was gone: too much time. It seemed as if Mika had taken care of himself in the meantime (as far as Shu could tell anyway, his breathing seemed alright and Shu didn’t have to the heart to wake him up to check his face properly).

Due to their positions, Shu could faintly see Mika’s face, how his cheeks were squished against Shu’s hand. The small rise and fall of his back was gentle and subtle. Mika was a quiet sleeper, something that Shu had come to know in the days they spent together.

Maybe this was why Shu tried so hard in the heavens.

When Mika stirred, lifting his face up from Shu’s hand, Shu quickly closed his eyes and pretended to sleep. He knew it was wrong to trick him in such a way, but curiosity had gotten the better of him.

Mika’s warmth left Shu’s hand as he stood up, carefully prying the towel from Shu’s mouth and muttering, “We’re almost outta sugar…”

He left for a short moment before coming back to put it back inside Shu’s mouth. He was incredibly gentle with his motions, as if afraid Shu would shatter underneath his touch.

When Mika confirmed that the towel was securely in Shu’s mouth firmly, he sat back down next to the bed, holding Shu’s hand again.

“Kuro’s real worried about ya. He’s been visitin’ since ya came back. Said that it’d be real unfortunate fer ya to stay sick.” Mika mumbled, “I miss ya too, Shu. I know I’ve said it a whole lot, but I really do.”

Mika buried his cheek into the palm of Shu’s hand, and he felt hot tears dripping down onto Shu’s fingers.

“Ah,” Mika’s voice was shaky as he sniffled to himself, “I done went and cried again.”

Shu couldn’t handle it anymore.

He couldn’t just open his eyes and blabber about whatever. Firstly, it was unbecoming of someone like him, and secondly, he didn’t want to scare Mika too badly.

So he moved his fingers, catching the tears that were still on Mika’s face. Mika inhaled, and Shu could feel him eagerly watching Shu. His hold on Shu’s hand didn’t budge, only allowing the smallest of motions to allow Shu’s hand to wipe the tears off. His thumb swiped over Mika’s cheekbone, a large tear dissolving under his touch.

“Shu?”

Shu found it right to open his eyes slowly, meeting Mika’s soft gaze. He forced a small smile onto his stiff face, knowing it would make Mika even more relieved to see such a thing from him.

“Have you been alright?” Shu’s voice was hoarse and gritty, and the towel still being in his mouth didn’t help too much, “I took a small detour when finding mushrooms, though I think I lost them.”

Mika looked as if he was holding back more tears, his teary face scrunching up in what seemed to be a mixture of relief and shock. His voice was soft and careful, reminiscent of his earlier motions, “Yer- Yer awake.”

Mika quickly removed the towel from Shu’s mouth and guided him up into a sitting position. The blood flow whitened Shu’s vision for a moment before it faded away to reveal the sight of Mika crying in joy.

“Do- Do ya know how long it’s been?” Mika was still crying, still holding Shu’s hand against his cheek, still so delicate in his grasp, “Ya scared me half ta death, Shu, lying in the forest and bleedin’ everywhere- ya wouldn’t stop bleedin’ Shu, ya wouldn’t stop…”

Shu’s other hand reached forward to hold Mika’s other cheek tenderly, “I’m sorry. I would’ve told you if I had the chance.”

“And ya came back with angelic magic.” Mika sobbed, “Ya went to the heavens, ya and yer demon traits- ya could’ve died there Shu! Ya should know they would’ve killed ya! And ya still went?!”

“I had to.” Shu whispered, wiping more tears away, “I just had to.”

“Why?!”

“You were crying, even more than you are right now.” Shu tried hard not to remember Mika’s bitter sobs, but the scene kept replaying in his head, “To see you cry like that was heart-shattering.”

“I would’ve gotten over it, Shu! Ya didn’t have to risk yer life fer it!”

Mika held Shu’s other hand, dippin his head down to cry more. Shu was silent, watching patiently.

Mika eventually stopped crying, though it had taken quite a while, “Are ya hungry?”

Shu shook his head, “Not at the moment, though I may want to eat later. For now, just this much is nice.”

Mika grew slightly red and was silent for another while. When he spoke again, his voice was even softer than before, and Shu couldn’t quite hear him properly.

So he leaned in, letting go of Mika’s face, “What was that?”

“I love ya, Shu.” Mika said between tears, “I love ya so much, I got so scared ya wouldn’t wake up, and I’d have ta live the rest of my life without ya…”

Shu’s heart skipped a beat.

It would’ve been nicer to hear such a confession under better circumstances, for his head still throbbed with the effort of being conscious and the rest of his body was still rather weak.

Even so, even despite all of it, his head was clear and his answer was even clearer.

“I love you too, Mika,” Shu’s eyes turned into crescents as his cheeks rose, “so very much.”

His answer had been cemented in his head for a long time now, but he never gathered enough courage to pull Mika aside from their mundane tasks to drop such a sentiment on him. For one, he wasn’t even sure if the feeling was mutual or it was simply close friendship. For another, Shu was too scared of Mika’s answer.

But to hear Mika confess first gave him massive relief, enough relief for him to answer with the courage his past self didn’t have before.

*`.
.`*
*`.

“Shu!” Mika waved from afar, “Is this it?”

Since the day they began dating, Shu had grown more open to Mika, spilling details of his past human life as Mika did the same.

It eventually spiraled into Shu talking about his love for doll-making, how it had inspired him to seek a job as a tailor. He let it slip that he used to have a favorite doll, Mademoiselle, who was gifted to him by his grandfather. Mademoiselle voiced so very many of his thoughts and was a vessel which Shu gave life to.

But since his death and banishment, he hadn’t been able to find her. He once went and searched for the doll in the remains of his old home, but there wasn’t even a strand of her hair.

The remains of Shu’s old cottage was heavily dilapidated. No one cared to remove the debris since it was so far out. Mika poked around the dust and rotten wood, searching for a doll that fit Mademoiselle’s appearance.

Even with Mika’s help and a clearer head than past Shu, they weren’t able to find her.

“I suppose it’s for the best.” Shu sighed, “Some things are meant to be let go of.”

“But we came all this way.” Mika pouted, “It’d be a shame ta travel so far and come back with nothin’.”

Shu thought for a moment, “Then perhaps we can browse some shops in the nearby town. I’ve been meaning to visit it anyway, to see what has changed.”

Mika brightened at the idea, asking Shu several questions about the town and what he used to do in his past life as they made their way towards it.

The streets were cleaner than Shu remembered. The architecture was unsurprisingly vastly different, and the town was much bigger and grandiose. Shu had always thought of the town as familiar and cozy, but he felt like a foreigner walking through the streets.

“Shu,” Mika suddenly tugged on Shu’s sleeve while the latter was examining displays in a shop window, “is that…”

Shu turned to see where Mika was gesturing towards.

The first thing he noticed was pale pink hair in a short bob at the shoulders. The little girl was carrying a shiny blonde doll in one hand and her mother’s hand in the other.

Mademoiselle was right there.

Shu froze. He couldn’t just take her from the little girl. It seemed like Mademoiselle was well taken care of, and it seemed like the girl was fond of the doll.

So Shu watched the girl and her mother continue walking down the sidewalk from the other side of the street.

Mika looked at Shu expectantly, “Was that…”

Shu chuckled, dipping his head down, “It must be my great-grandniece. I don’t know any other family with such colored hair.”

Mika looked at the girl and then back at Shu, “I guess ya can’t really say hi, huh?”

Shu shook his head, “They’d suppose I was crazy, though I think they wouldn’t be too far off.”

“Why?”

Shu took Mika’s hand and brought it up to his lips, “Crazy for you, my dear Mika.”

Mika was red all the way home.

Notes:

i hope you guys enjoyed it :>