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you're my library; full of things i want

Summary:

He groans as he hangs up on another dead end.

 

“Who pissed in your whole foods organic granola?” A voice calls out after the bell on the door rings.

He groans again. Joseph ‘call me Joe or I swear to god’ Liebgott was a regular customer, despite rarely buying anything, who lived in the apartments above David’s shop. He was also a constant source of stress in his life and had been since his grand opening a few months ago.

“First of all, your eerie ability to know my groceries is terrifying. Second, I do not have time for you today, Liebgott.” He replies without looking up, marking another seller off his list.

Notes:

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David sighs heavily.

He finds he’s been doing a lot of that lately.

“Why didn’t you come to me in the first place Eddie?” He places more books on the shelf in front of him.

“You’ve been busy with the shop opening, I wasn’t gonna add my shit onto your plate. Especially when it’s this big and that it’ll probably be impossible.”

Eddie was the greatest friend David had ever had. Since they met in college, Eddie’s been by David’s side through everything. He helped him survive when his parents cut him off, was the first to encourage and invest in David’s dream of owning a bookstore, and was his first customer on opening day. David’s spent the better part of the last four years trying to repay the kindness, much to Eddie’s objections that it’s not needed. To David though, it is.

If he could do this, pull off this miracle, he’d feel less inadequate in their friendship. He’d finally feel like they were on even ground and not second guess himself on where their friendship stood. It’s silly and clearly stems from personal issues, whenever he really sits down to think about it, but if it will help him feel more secure in their friendship, he figures it can’t hurt.

“I’ll find it.” It’s resolute in his answer.

“T-thank you,” Eddie replies softly, nodding as though he were preparing everything pending David’s success.

“Don’t mention it,” he shrugs, though his voice is more a plea to truly not mention how much it means, “So, three years, huh?”

Eddie nods, smiling in the same way he always has where Andy was concerned, “Yes. I figured it was time.”

David’s brow furrows, confused.

Eddie just looks back at him.

“Oh. OH!” He immediately pulls his best friend into a tight embrace, “Congratulations, Eddie.”

If the pressure weren’t on before, it certainly was now. David fights the panic rising.

A rare blush colors his friend’s cheeks.

“He ain’t said yes yet, David.” Nervous fingers fiddle with a book on the shelf.

A book is passed into Eddie’s hand to put on the shelf.

“He’d be a fool to say no and you’re a fool to think he would.”

Eddie takes offense and his friend just laughs.

“It’ll cost a pretty penny.”

“He’s worth it and more,” Eddie responds, solemn and unwavering.

David laughs and places the final book from the box on the shelf, “Alright Romeo, calm down and help me with the next box."


It takes him longer than he expects. David scours his sources and none of them have the copy he needs.

He groans as he hangs up on another dead end.

“Who pissed in your whole foods organic granola?” A voice calls out after the bell on the door rings.

He groans again. Joseph ‘call me Joe or I swear to god’ Liebgott was a regular customer, despite rarely buying anything, who lived in the apartments above David’s shop. He was also a constant source of stress in his life and had been since his grand opening a few months ago.

“First of all, your eerie ability to know my groceries is terrifying. Second, I do not have time for you today, Liebgott.” He replies without looking up, marking another seller off his list.

A steaming paper cup, with the logo of the coffee shop Joe works at across the street, is placed near his hand. He finally looks up to see his most regular “customer” looking everywhere but him.

Joseph Liebgott was also the object of David’s affections. The dark hair, pale skin, and self-assuredness of someone who expects nothing from anyone had captivated David since they first met. He wants so badly to smooth the brows that always pulled together when he spoke to David, to kiss that smug smirk off his lips, and make him call David by his first name, preferably screaming it in the throes of passion.

“Should I be concerned about what’s in this?” He asks, holding the warm drink in his hand, brows creasing as his order, his correct order, is labeled on the cup.

“If I wanted to poison you, Web, it wouldn’t be with tea. It’d be something far more dramatic.” The other man walks away to peruse the same books he didn’t buy two days ago.

David appreciates his departure so he can effectively hide the smile and blush that arrived unwarranted. Despite all the stress and annoyance, Joe brings on a regular basis, including pulling books and leaving them all over the store, David is mature enough to know that his crush wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. He’s not mature enough, however, to do anything about it.

He does try to match Joe’s energy though, knowing it sets the other man off kilter.

“What book aren’t you buying today, Liebgott?” He calls out, voice carrying in the small shop.

“How do you expect me to buy anything when your tea costs like six bucks?” Joe calls from where David keeps the graphic novels, always heading there first.

He smiles against the cup at his lips, “You didn’t have to buy me it.”

Joe doesn’t respond and David counts it as a win.

The silence allows him to call another source to find what Eddie needs and after ten minutes of back and forth, it’s another dead end.

“Son of a bitch!” He slams the phone a bit harsher than necessary and it doesn’t go unnoticed.

“Your ex?” Again Joe isn’t looking at him when he talks, more interested in the knick-knacks on the front counter.

David jumps, unaware Joe had been so close.

“Uh, no. What?” He’s so surprised he doesn’t realize what Joe’s really asked.

“You sounded like I do when an ex calls.”

David takes a sip of his, perfectly made, tea.

“Get those calls a lot, Joe?” He asks with a wink. He’s not sure why he asks it or how he has the sudden confidence to do so, but he doesn’t retract.

He doesn’t miss the blush and gaping mouth of surprise on Joe’s face and he commits it to memory.

Joe’s eyes narrow, “Not as many as you’d think.”

They regard one another for a long, odd moment.

“A book.” David cuts the silence suddenly.

“What?”

“Uh, the phone call. I’m looking for a book.” David finally averts his eyes from Joe, crossing off one of the last names on his list.

“Not to question your intelligence or powers of observation, but you are aware you’re in a bookstore, right Web? A store you own.” Joe smirks, self-satisfied and playful.

David wishes it weren’t so damn attractive.

“I’m well aware, thanks Joe,” he sighs, still smiling, “This, however, is an extremely specific book I’m looking for. My friend is planning to propose to his boyfriend with it.” He normally wouldn’t share such information, but Joe’s constant and, he’ll admit, comforting presence, makes David comfortable in sharing his frustrations. “I’ve gone through almost all my contacts and vendors and special collectors, but no one seems to have the copy I’m looking for.”

“He’s proposing with a book? What happened to dinner or a beach?” Joe comments, no real meaning behind it though, as he seems lost in his thoughts.

“It’s important to them and sentimentality is more significant than flamboyance in these situations, isn’t it?” It’s a quiet question, almost rhetorical if Web wasn’t so invested in Joe’s answer.

It’s a long moment, where David pretends to organize his already tidy counter, before Joe answers.

“It’s the most significant, Web. If it were me, I’d do the same thing for my boyfriend.”

David looks up sharply, unsure if Joe meant to reveal the information or if it was just the context of the situation. Either way, he stops breathing as something like hope blooms slowly in his chest.

“Do you have one?” David asks, calm and quicker than his brain can stop him, heart stopping as soon as it’s out.

That earns him a downright mischievous leer and he’d be lying if he said it didn’t do something for him, to him.

“No, I don’t David,” he bites his lips, and David is so lost in his thought that he tracks the movement, “You lookin’ to change that?”

The bell rings indicating a new customer and the spell Joe has him under is broken.

“Hi! Welcome!” He shouts far too loudly in the small, quiet shop, shocking the older woman who walked in.

He hears Joe’s warm laughter as the man takes his leave, “Be seein’ you, Web.”

David lets out a long sigh when Joe is finally out of the shop. He wasn’t sure what just happened or how serious Joe was, but he was certain he would eventually.

“Do you have that new title with the like blue or pink cover?” The customer asks, suddenly in front of him.”

He sighs inwardly and puts on his best customer-friendly smile, “Would you happen to know the title?”

“No. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be asking you about it.” She responds primly.

This time he sighs outwardly and turns to his computer to check his inventory for a blue or pink-covered book.

A half-hour later, she walks out with a red-covered book and David closes for lunch.


Eddie’s about to crawl out of his skin if he has to wait any longer. He knows David is working his hardest, but the effort to keep something hidden from the man he loves is eating at him.

“You’re quiet today…well, more quiet than usual, what’s going on?” Andy looks at him with so much love that Eddie is sure he’s going to pass out.

“N-nothing Andy, just tired.” He smiles in what he hopes is a reassuring way as they walk back to their apartment.

“Well, let’s take a nap when we get back then,” Andy suggests with no intent to sleep.

Eddie laughs, feeling lighter now that the attention is off his behavior.

He pulls Andy into his arms as they reach their front door.

“Think I can figure something out.”

Andy kisses him, always with one small peck followed by a more intense lip lock that Eddie can count on.

“You always do.”


Joe finds David lying on the ground behind his counter two days later an hour before the store is even open.

The overwhelming feeling of failure forcing him into inaction. He’d just finished going through the last of his contacts and his contact’s contact and nothing. It wasn’t that he needed a perfect copy or a certain edition. The specific book was a copy with an inscription and notes made by Andy’s deceased grandfather who he’d grown up with and idolized. It had been accidentally donated after his house was cleaned out, while Andy was overseas, and before they could get it back, it was lost. Andy had mentioned it in passing to Eddie once and Eddie being Eddie had been looking for it ever since.

And David failed him. Failed both of them.

He’s so lost in his thoughts that he doesn’t hear the bell above the door. He doesn’t hear Joe making fun of him. He doesn’t hear the silence that lingers. And he most definitely doesn’t hear Joe laying down opposite him in the already cramped area behind the counter.

They’re laying close, heads nearly touching, when David is pulled back from his thoughts.

“What kind of crisis is this?” Joe asks, quiet and soft in their sudden sanctuary.

“Several.” He sighs.

“I’m all ears.”

“How do you find hats that fit?” He jokes, snark slipping easily from his lips.

Apology on his lips, for being what he thinks is rude, he’s happy to hear Joe laughing beside him.

“What’s going on, Web?” Joe asks gently.

Ignoring the oddness of his cru—customer laying on the ground with him, David leans into the kindness.

“I’m a failure.”

“Aren’t we all? How are you failing today?”

He sighs, unsure if unloading on Joe is wise, but when he turns to see Joe watching him with the most open expression, he finds himself talking before he can stop.

It’s easier than he thinks, to open up to Joe like this and tell him everything about his friendship and how important the book was, and it surprises him how much he wants to talk to Joe and wants to hear him in return.

“That’s a lot to put on yourself, Web.”

He nods but doesn’t respond, aware of his own faults.

“Really,” Joe insists, voice soft but close, “It’s an impossible task and you not being able to do the impossible doesn’t make you a bad friend. Relationships aren’t a balancing act, David. It’s a give and take, yes, but it’s not your job to give everything just to feel secure. The security is that even if you don’t give everything, that person will still be there at the end of the day. If that’s not there, then it’s not worth it.”

David considers his word for a long time, trying to ignore his heart racing at the use of his first name. It’s not an epiphany necessarily and it isn’t something he’s not told himself, but he supposes it’s one of those things where he needed to hear it from someone else.

He turns his head back to Joe beside him and a spark lights up in David when their eyes meet.

“T-thank you, Joe.” He whispers, voice rough.

Joe just watches him and David catches when the other man’s eyes lock onto his lips when he licks them.

He swallows so harshly, that his throat clicks.

It’s unclear who moved first, but as soon as their lips meet David feels something in him shift and settle, letting an unaware tension release from his shoulders.

Joe lets out a slight whimper and it stirs low in David’s belly, pushing him to kiss his customer more firmly, even at the odd angle.

His customer.

He pulls back with a gasp, back hitting the counter harshly as he sits up.

“I-I’m so, so sorry, Joe. I shouldn’t..I…you should go.” He stares at his hands, ignoring Joe’s quiet protest, the silence, and the bell above the door signaling his departure.

Only when his phone rings does David get off the floor.

The call goes unanswered when he noticed the, now cold, cup of tea on the counter.

Made perfectly, of course.


Two weeks pass and Joe still hasn’t returned.

He exhausted all his options and the night before had told Eddie he wasn’t able to locate the book.

“It’s okay, David. I didn’t really expect much to come of it.”

He had reassured David that it wasn’t a big deal, but they’d been friends long enough for him to know that Eddie was disappointed. If not in David, in the fact that he’d have to continue in this milestone without the key item he wanted.

The uselessness consumes him until he remembers what Joe said and then comes the heartbreak. Not heartbreak, no, but the loss. The loss of something that could have been, had David not been so scared to want someone so much. To feel so comfortable and seen by a not-so-complete stranger.

And Joe had kissed him back, had gasped and whimpered against David’s lip so sweetly as though he was as desperate to keep the connection.

He rubs his eyes harshly, sleep had been evading him as of late and he blames Joe for the constant need for caffeine he’s been deprived of and depriving himself of since that day.

No matter what, there’s constant feedback on David’s shortcomings every day.

The bell above the shop rings and David ignores that his stomach flutters then drops when it thinks it’s Joe, but is just a delivery service.

He signs for the package and without looking at the small box, he tears it open.

An item, wrapped in brown paper, falls out with a thud, and a small note follows after.

His name is written on the small folded paper in a close-lettered, but tall script.

The note is open in his hands and tears well in his eyes when he reads it.

David,  

I know you don’t want to see me, so I had this delivered. Sorry, it took longer than I thought, but my friend knows a guy who’s an international distributor.

This came all the way from some small bookshop in some small town in Germany. Be sure to tell your friend it’s been well loved and cared for.

I hope you don’t count this as a failure, but as a success on your part. If you hadn’t trusted me, I wouldn’t have been able to help.

You don’t always have to do everything on your own, David. There are people who want to help you and care for you without anything in return.  

You just have to be willing to let them.

Yours,

  Joe

 

He’s out the door and across the street before he can catch his breath.

Bursting through the door, the bell ringing loudly as he enters, David immediately spots Joe behind the counter.

There are varying shades of purple under his eyes like he’s been caffeine deficient as well, but his eyes are bright as he looks at David. As does the rest of the store, but he only has eyes for the man behind the counter.

He’s running solely on his selfish need at this point, reckless with it. Boldly, he strides to the low counter and lifts himself over it with ease.

The short line of customers murmur, but the intrigue of what David was doing must be enough to satisfy their urgency to get their items.

What was he doing?

Standing in front of a breathless Joe, whose chest was rising and falling rapidly, and saying nothing.

God, he wants to kiss him again.

He smiles and holds up his hand.

“I read your note.”

The other man’s eyes widen and David watches his long, thin throat work to swallow heavily.

Despite his clear nerves, Joe still is true to himself.

“Good. I was worried you wouldn’t know how.”

Laughter bursts from David with ease at the joke and he’s so thankful for the break in tension that he pulls Joe into his arms.

“Had to have a customer translate, but they said something along the lines of how much of an idiot I was to let you leave that day.”

Joe’s breathing picks up again, chest connecting with David’s every second. The warmth seeping in and out causes a shiver to roll up his spine.

“Thinking critically, were they?”

“Reading between the lines, I’d say.”

“Thank god for your customers then.”

David leans in close, watching the blush creep from Joe’s cheeks down to his neck.

He looks back up to lock eyes with the man in his arms, “Just the one.”

There’s a whimper from either or both of them when David finally kisses him.

There’s a small cheer for them from the customers still in the store and Joe pulls back with a laugh, bringing them both back to the reality of where they were.

Cheeks red, David steals one more kiss.

“I’ll see you during your break?”

“You’re aware I own the place and can leave whenever, right?”

David balks and shakes his head. No wonder Joe was always able to pop in and out whenever he pleased. The guilt somewhat assuages from Joe’s ever-growing cost of all the tea he’d brought him.

“I was not. Does that mean…” He drags out the last word like a question.

“Yes,” Joe responds, succinct and no mistaking in his intentions.

“Grant!” He calls and out pops an employee from the back trying to look innocent and failing miserably.

“Go on now,” the employee shuffles them away from the counter and without so much as a goodbye, begins taking the orders of the supportive, but caffeine-deficient customers.

David tries not to think too hard about Joe taking his hand instantly as they cross the street, but he does commit it to memory.

If he eventually mentions it in their vows years down the line, that it was the moment he knew Joe’s care for him was selfless and given freely, then so be it.

When his back hits the counter, wrapped book crashing to the ground with the force, David groans because he has to stop them again.

Joe’s lips are on his neck and he’s trying extremely hard not to give into the sensation.

“J-Joe, I have to,” a full body shiver stops his voice.

“What is it, David?” Joe whispers, hot against his lips.

David curses anything and everything that makes him pull away. Mainly he curses Eddie, but there’s no real heat behind it.

“I have to get the book to Eddie.” He groans when he sees just how debauched and flush Joe is.

“Now?” Joe pants, hands still idly playing with the warm skin around David’s hip. It’s maddening and David almost considers waiting, but today was the day and he didn’t intend on letting his and Joe’s efforts go to waste.

“Yes, un-fucking-fortunately, right now.” He checks the clock behind him, they had twenty minutes to get to where Eddie was planning his proposal.

Joe kisses him once more, “I’ll drive.”

David smiles and pockets the note still in his hand as he grabs the book from the ground.


Eddie was pacing. He never paced. He never let his nerves show.

Not when he first asked Andy out. Not when they moved in together. Not when he passed the bar. Nothing. He was a calm sea.

Now, though, he was a raging storm, waiting for Andy to show up at the university library where they first met.

He gets a text suddenly and opens it in a flurry thinking it’s Andy.

Shark Boy: I got the book. We’ll be there in 5! Wait.  

Eddie shouts in excitement and is quickly shushed by the handful of people gathered in the corner of the fourth floor.

He waits, counting each minute that passes.

He gets to six when the door to the stairs behind him opens loudly, the door slamming against the wall.


David really needs to work on entering a building as he clearly cannot open doors properly today.

He finds Eddie and the terrified but confused look makes him laugh.

“Fuck, Web you run track or something?” Joe pants, sweat sticking slightly to his white shirt.

It takes everything in David to not kiss him at that moment and the smug panting of the man behind him tells him is doesn’t go unnoticed.

He turns then and places the book on the table, worried when Eddie doesn’t even look at it.

He kneels down, “You’re overthinking, as usual, Ed.”

That gets his attention, David only calls him Ed when he’s doing something he shouldn’t. Like when Eddie sabotages him in Mario Kart.

“I know,” he sighs, throwing his head in his hands, “I know. Just not every day you ask someone to marry you.”

David laughs, “No, of course not, but if I know anything, I know you have nothing to be worried about.”

It takes a long moment, but Eddie finally lets out a long sigh and nods, gearing himself up.

“Yeah, yeah. This is right. It will be good.” He doesn’t sound fully convinced so David helps him out.

“It’ll be perfect, Eddie.”

Eddie smiles and pulls David into a hug before pulling away.

“Thank you. For the book, the effort, but your friendship most of all, David. It means more than anything you could ever do that you’re always there for me.”

Tears threaten to fall and David hides them in another hug.

“Thank him for the book,” David points to Joe who awkwardly waves, “he found it.”

“Joe, nice to meet you, Eddie,” he puts a hand forward and Eddie meets it firmly.

“Joe? Oh. Oh! Is this…” He tries to talk but is muffled by David’s hand keeping his best friend from embarrassing him with all the poetic ways he had described Joe to him.

“Eddie? David?” A voice calls out, confused but no less happy to see them.

“Hey, Andy!” David shouts, trying to overcompensate his sudden nerves.

“Be quiet!” A student yell-whispers from beside them.

“Fuck off,” Joe says, ignoring their offended face to smile and wink at David.

“Uh, what’s going on?” Andy asks, looking directly at his boyfriend for an explanation.

“Have a seat,” Eddie tells him, overly formal and stiff.

David places a hand on his shoulder, once last kindness to bolster his courage.

He hears Eddie sigh and moves into the speech he no doubt prepared the same way he does closing arguments.

He wraps his hand around Joe’s with ease, linking their fingers as he watches two of the most important people in his life ignore the world for one another.

“So, you talked about me, huh?” Joe whispers.

“I’ll never tell you,” David laughs, watching as Eddie hands over the book, “and anything Eddie says is a lie.”

Joe laughs and David thinks how easily he’s become addicted to the sound.

He squeezes Joe’s hand, happiness overwhelming him. Joe squeezes back.


“….and you mentioned once how important it was to you. I wanted you to know that I listen to you. I hear you. I see you, Andy. What’s important to you, is important to me.”

He slides the book across the table, heart threatening to burst through his chest, but he finds it more than easy to keep talking.

“And as important as that book is to you. It cannot shine a candle to how important you are to me. You are so much a part of me that I feel a loss when we’re apart and that loss doesn’t go away until you’re back with me. I can’t imagine my life without you and I want to share the rest of it with you by my side, always.”

Trembling hands caress the unwrapped book. Andy opens it and tears fall with a small gasp.

Live without fear.

Love without limits.


I’m always with you, little Ack Ack.

- Grandad.  

Eddie is pulled into a rough kiss, tears mingling with Andy’s own.

“Forever, Eddie. I want no life without you in it.”

There’s laughter full of unbridled happiness as they share their first engaged kiss.


David wipes tears from his own eyes quickly as he watches his friends with happiness.

Joe cheers and claps and David joins in their little celebration as the two, newly engaged, men separate with a laugh. Andy holds Eddie’s hand in one and the book to his chest in another.

“This is a library!” The same student from before calls out.

“So shut the fuck up!” David responds, unwilling to let them ruin the moment.

Joe laughs and David turns to him with a smile.

“I knew I liked you for a reason, Web.”

David kisses him quickly, “Just one reason?”

Joe, unashamed and bold, grabs his ass, “I can think of a few others.”

He will never admit how much the action turned him on for fear of Joe’s smug smile never falling. He fails to hide his reaction though as they’re approached by the other two men.

“If you don’t want to get arrested, I suggest we leave.”

“Always the sensible one, Eddie.” David comments, walking them toward the stairs, Joe’s hand still in his.

Eddie sighs like they’ve had this conversation a thousand times.

And they have.

“One of us has to be.”

David laughs and holds the door open for them, only letting go of Joe’s hand when Andy introduces himself as they begin their descent.

“Thank you, David.”

David smiles and nods.

“For everything.”

He pulls Eddie to his side in a hug as they follow the other two.

“Of course, Eddie. It’s what friends are for.”

They smile at one another before Eddie pulls away to catch up to his fiancée.

Joe waits by the door this time as they exit the building, talking about meeting up for a celebratory dinner.

He sighs happily when Joe’s hand finds his again immediately.

He thinks he’s going to be doing a lot of that lately.

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