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too many feelings

Chapter 4: know me

Summary:

would clarification do taehyun any justice?

Notes:

it may have taken me a little over 1.5 yrs to get back to this.. in fact i started this fic on a whim bcz i genuinely liked someone and it sparked my inspiration for this. so while this chapter shd have been the end, i decided to continue it and see where it takes me because guess what, I'm finally on a break.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

playing: know me

‘w..what..?’ Taehyun replied with confusion that stirred his mind. 

 

‘can’t you see? all those articles written about me and huening kai?’ Soobin replied, frustration rebelling within him. 

 

‘so what about them?’ Taehyun quizzed, though he did feel offended and jealous by how Soobin was so quick to give up on the idea of them, he couldn’t understand why he was so dismissive of clearing the questions Taehyun had all in his head. 

 

‘do you really want me to say it?’

 

‘i can’t see you anymore Kang Taehyun.’ Soobin muttered under his breath.

‘why? undo everything you’ve done? why the fuck do you get the last say, why do you keep ruining people around you?’ Taehyun spat, ignoring people who were around him. He was running out of control and there was no way anyone could save him, except taehyun himself. 

 

‘i don’t know, but i just wished maybe you could see things from my perspective. wouldn’t it be better for you? one less pain in the ass to worry about right?’ Soobin replied, high hopes pinned onto his heart, hoping that taehyun would bring a pin and pop all his hopes with reality and logical reasoning. 

 

‘fine. If you want me to see things from your perspective, I wish I never gave you my time so don’t cry when shit doesn’t go your way. And you don’t get to tell me what’s best for myself.’ taehyun mocked, rolling his eyes, trying his best to salvage his broken ego. His fist balled up, he had the strongest urge to punch soobin in the face and hope that all of this was a lie. His first love, true love, just telling him to give up from a few articles online?

 

‘I really want you to do well, so I'll put a stop to this. i’m really sorry for everything i’ve done—’ 

 

‘You better be, going around breaking people’s hearts must be your forte, isn’t it? it's crazy how i thought maybe you and i might have a chance, but i guess, it was simply your marionette show, and i didn’t matter enough to you.’ taehyun trailed off. he stood up and slammed his fists on the table before he ran off. soobin wished he could stop him yet he held himself back because he knew, there were people around watching him like an eagle. 

 

Taehyun hurried home, his eyes filled with water to the brim. the only question in his head was—Why did soobin even hit on him in the first place if he was going to just give up so quickly? 

 

burying himself further into his books, seemed like a habit taehyun turned into unseemingly deceiving himself into thinking he was fine . yet he couldn’t bring himself to say the words. it held a vacant shell, engraving a fine print of soobin into his memory before his mind forgot them on its own accord. his crush from high school had shattered, and he was losing control of his own emotions. If only he knew, soobin felt the same way as him. maybe then they could have a second chance if this wasn’t their situation. maybe it wasn’t soobin’s fault, it just happened at the wrong time. Maybe if he ran away from his problems, it would solve the pain he faced every other day. 

 

21.8.X3

yeonjun#! [7:23:49 pm]

tyun? wru? 

answer my calls plz

there’s no training today, wru? 

u weren’t in school for the past few days

also soobin is participating in some comps out of town

 

taehyun [8:05:34 pm]

i’m down with the flu

might be back tmrw

 

yeonjun#! [8:07:02 pm]

great! i’ll bring extra veggies for you 

 

Taehyun could only sigh in exasperation. Would Yeonjun understand how he felt if he experienced the same thing? 

 

He dragged his feet to the first class while Yeonjun excitedly explained everything he had missed out. Including in the fact that Soobin came to school with Huening Kai the following day after everything that happened that Sunday. It felt like a stab in the back knowing that Soobin would rather sacrifice everything than trust his feelings and follow his heart. 

 

Was Huening kai more important to soobin than Taehyun? Why else would he risk everything for a violinist even though Taehyun was a rising player too? 

 

While his thoughts clouded his head, he failed to realise a new student in the class sitting beside him.

 

Blonde ruffled hair, his uniform neatly tucked into his trousers. His eyes were charming, and the way he entered the classroom felt like a dream. His violin case in one hand, the other carrying a tennis racket. so this was..

 

Huening Kai  

 

‘Hello,’ his voice smooth like honey. his voice raised every single hair on Taehyun’s neck, ‘I’m Huening Kai and you must be.. Kang Taehyun, right?’ 

 

Taehyun was stunned, how did this fella know his name right from the start. 

 

‘Hello, yes i’m Kang Taehyun. Its a pleasure to meet you in real life.’ Taehyun gritted his teeth while he spoke. He couldn’t believe he just met the same person in the articles that he read about their affair. 

 

‘I’m deeply honoured, I, too, have heard many great things about you from Soobin hyung!’ Huening Kai replied, slightly bowing to Taehyun like he was some respected player. 

 

And then this sweet interaction turned sour when he heard the familiar footstep approaching from behind. The cologne smelt so familiar as if it was warning Taehyun to run from this before it became awkward.

 

‘kai, what are you doing here?’ 

 

Taehyun never turned his head around so quickly, for his smile to drop into shock.

 

Notes:

i hope this chapter was interestingly boring.. i needed that argument/little misunderstanding to spark further development. truth is, i don't know the direction for this work anymore. i wanted to end it on the 4th chapter 1.5 years ago bcoz i knew i stood no chance facing the person i liked (he had someone else at that time) but this year changed some things between us.... (so maybe i do have a chance now(?)) hence the change is the direction of this work. i will try my best to diligently work on this and produce something that I'm proud of. again this is so raw and its been a hot minute since I've touched crafting fictional work.. as always, I'm open to feedback, theories and KUDOS!! thank you for reading to the end >3<