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All that really matters

Summary:

The only places open at this time are convenience stores and the odd bar. The latter of which Jeno has found himself going to often lately.

Doyoung has voiced his concern over Jeno developing an alcohol problem, but he barely even drinks when he's there. Only having enough to actually feel the effects a few times.

He doesn't go to drink, he goes to talk, to simply be in the presence of someone other than Doyoung for a few hours. He gets along with the staff well. Most are around his age and seem more than happy to pass the few slow hours before closing, speaking to the only other person in the room who isn't shitfaced. Or maybe it's just because he tips well, doesn't matter.

TLDR: Jeno's hatred for his current life is strong, but his denial is stronger.

Notes:

TW for emotional abuse and implied underage. Once again it’s really subtle, because it’s from Jeno’s pov and he’s in denial about the whole thing.

Doyoung’s a nurse BTW kinda forgot to mention that

Work Text:

Jeno sighs, sending in this week's workload. praying that he hasn't done as shitty of a job as he feels he has. 4 years in university for this shit and barely half of it makes sense. He swears he's spending just as much time researching what he is supposed to be doing rather than actually doing it, having given up on asking his superiors for advice, after the third time they conveniently did not receive his emails.

But the money is good, and Jeno’s mother can now brag about how her son works in IT, so it’s worth it.

Glancing at the 12am at the bottom of the screen, Jeno wishes he could make it pm so he could go grocery shopping instead of having to wait till the stores open.

Jeno always thought he was a morning person. Doyoung always called him crazy for taking mainly morning classes, but he loved it. Waking up at the crack of dawn, going for a run to start his day. Before waking Doyoung up for work with a hot breakfast. It wasn't always easy, especially when he started working and would get home late, and had to go with only a few hours of sleep. But that was something coffee could easily fix.

He thought the routine would continue when he graduated, but working from home quickly proved that ignoring your alarm is a lot easier when you have nothing to wake up for. And Doyoung switching to the nightshift, killed any remaining incentive he had to wake up early. Jeno found himself changing his routine to match Doyoungs after just a few weeks of the switch.

Still 12am is 12am even if you've only been awake for 7 hours. The only things open at this time are convenience stores and the odd bar. The latter of which Jeno has found himself going to often lately. Doyoung has voiced his concern over Jeno developing an alcohol problem, but he barely even drinks when he's there. Only having enough to actually feel the effects a few times.

He doesn't go to drink, he goes to talk, to simply be in the presence of someone other than Doyoung for a few hours. He gets along with the staff well. Most are around his age and seem more than happy to pass the few slow hours before closing, speaking to the only other person in the room who isn't shitfaced. Or maybe it's just because he tips well, doesn't matter.

Jeno has two drinks and considers going for a third, but last time he did he got a little carried away, and ended up making an ass of himself. So he Leaves the bar to walk around the town a little after one.

He walks aimlessly through the snow covered streets, the cold air burning against his eyes. He has hours till Doyoung gets home and he doesn't want to spend any more time then he has to locked away in their apartment.

Passing by his old job at the restaurant, he’s reminded of how much he misses it there. His coworkers mainly, many of which he once considered himself close with. But the customers two, Jeno has always enjoyed small talk and if you looked at his tips you would see that he was good at it. He wanted to stay part time after getting his current job. But Doyoung strongly opposed it saying that he needed to put all his energy into his career, and not waste his time on a pointless job.

Jeno didn’t realize he was heading to Jaemins till he finds himself outside the building. He pulls a pack of mints out of his pocket, popping one into his mouth as he makes his way inside.

Jaemin threw a fit when he showed up tipsy a while back, and Jeno has no interest in going through that again.

He pulls his phone out to text Jaemin and notices that it's nearly 4. Had he really been walking for 3 hours? He considers leaving, he doesn't want Jaemin to be mad at him. But the urge to have the younger close gets the better of him, so he sends the text.

It only takes a minute for Jaemin to open the door, glaring at Jeno with sleepy eyes. “Good morning Jeno” Jaemin sighs, stepping aside, letting Jeno into the apartment that still, despite everything, feels more comfortable than his own.

Jeno truly has no idea how Jaemin is able to afford this place. Sure it's a small studio apartment, but the building has only been around for a few years, and Jaemin is still only working at the same grocery store he has since they were 16.

“Hi” Jeno mutters, sliding his shoes off, turning to look at Jaemin. He's wearing the red plaid pajamas he got for Christmas a few years back. Face a little puffy from sleeping, hair sticking up at weird angles. Still, Jeno can't help but think he looks anything but beautiful, as he walks over to the other, smoothing Jaemin's hair down before leaning in to kiss him.

Jaemin is a good kisser. Jeno appreciates how he is not ashamed to be messy with it. Sucking on Jeno’s tongue when he pushes it past the younger's lips, biting on Jenos lower lip when he pulls away. Not bothering to wipe away the spit rolling down his chin when he makes his way to Jenos neck. Teeth grazing over his pulse, teasing the idea of biting down.

It's easy for Jeno to lose himself in Jaemin. Unable to think of anything else as he peels the younger’s clothes off revealing the smooth skin underneath, pale from the winter months, red bruises forming easily when he sucks at Jaemin’s collar bones. Careful to avoid any area that wouldn't be hidden under His uniform.

Jeno only gets a few minutes to fully appreciate Jaemins body, before the younger tells him to turn the lights off. He considers not doing it for a moment, he enjoys being able to see Jaemin, and how embarrassed he gets when the lights are left on, hiding his flush face in his hands, whining when Jeno peels them away.

He decides to listen to Jaemin today, wanting to feel the intimacy that comes with the dark. He quickly sheds his own clothes before making his way back to the bed, bullying his way between Jaemins legs, As he goes to kiss the younger. Wrapping a hand loosely around Jaemins neck, teasing him with the idea of getting choked, smirking as he feels Jaemin shiver from the action.

“Do you want me to eat you out?” Jeno asks, voice low and rough as he whispers into the younger ear.

Jeno loves how Jaemin just whines in response, too embarrassed to actually say anything.

“You wanna be a good boy and roll over for me then?” Jeno asks, using the pet name Jaemin had drunkenly confessed to liking years ago. He laughs at how quickly the younger pushes him away so he can roll over, frantically shoving a pillow under his hips, to give Jeno better access.

Jeno gently grazes his fingers down Jaemins spine, feeling the goosebumps that form along the youngers skin as he does. He brings his hand to Jaemins ass, spreading him open, exposing the hole Jeno can barely make out in the darkness of the room.

Jeno ducks down to kiss along Jaemins lower back, licking at the soft salty skin. Not daring to move any lower, he wants to make Jaemin beg for it.

He's about to tell the younger as much when Jaemin whines out a “Please” voice muffled by the pillow his face is currently buried in.

“What was that?” Jeno asks.

“Jeno just do it… please” Jaemin says, clearly struggling to keep his voice steady.

“Do what?” Jeno teases, playing dumb.

“Eat me out, please” Jaemin whispers, so quietly the older is barely able to hear it. Jeno almost makes Jaemin say it again but decides to be nice, leaning down to lick wetly over the youngers hole.

Jeno stays like that for a moment, messly lapping at Jaemin. Before forcing his tongue into the tight mussel. Fucking it in as far as he can, Spurred on by the little mewls Jaemin lets out when he dose.

This is one of the things Jeno desperately wants to experience, but will never be able to. Doyoung’s too much of a bottom to even consider topping, in any way. And it just feels far too intimate to have that first experience with Jaemin at this point.

Jeno leans up, letting some spit collect on his tongue, before spitting it on Jaemin’s hole. The younger flinching from the unexpected feeling. Jeno pushes a finger in with little resistance. Jaemin always opens up so easily for him, prep taking barely half the time Jeno is used to.

He brings his tongue back down to Jaemins hole meeting his fingers. Jeno spends his time working Jaemin open, spreading the younger open with his fingers as he licks inside. Sucking on the rim as his fingers rub at Jaemins perineum. Bringing Jaemin close to his climax several times, crying out when Jeno stops moving right before he's able to finish.
Jeno pulls away when he works Jaemin up to 4 fingers, his hard cock rubbing dryly against the rough sheets becoming unbearable. “You want me like this or on your back?” Jeno asks.

“On my back”

Jeno helps the younger onto his back, keeping the pillow under his hips, Jaemin always gets a bit sluggish from edging. He quickly grabs the lube from the nightstand, pouring a good amount on his cock, before sliding into the younger's tight hole. Jaemin is always perfectly tight, it doesn't matter how much prep Jeno does.

He fucks Jaemin hard, pistoning in and out of the younger, filling the room with the sound of skin hitting skin.

Jeno leans down to kiss Jaemin, eating the little moans he lets out every time Jenos cock brushes against his prostate.

Jaemins arms come up to wrap around Jenos back, he almost drags his nails across the olders back, before stopping himself, moving them to pull at Jeno's hair instead. Disappointing Jeno, in the heat of the moment Jeno wants Jaemin to mark him. To scratch dark red lines across his back, to bite down hard on his neck, breaking the flesh so Jeno couldn't even attempt to hide it from Doyoung.

That thought disappears when Jaemin stammers out a warning. Not lasting nearly as long as usual from all the edging earlier.

Jeno grasps the youngers cock, jacking him off in time with his brutal pase. It only takes a few pumps for Jaemin to cum, spilling into Jenos fist.

Jaemins whines grow louder from oversensitivity as Jeno continues to fuck him. Biting down on his own knuckles in an attempt to keep quiet.

It doesn't take much longer for Jeno to reach his own climax. Grunting into Jaemin’s neck as he cums, filling the younger with his seed.

Breaking away from Jaemin’s hold is always the hardest part. Especially when Jaemin wraps his arms tight around Jeno, holding him like he is Precious, like he doesn’t want to let go.

So Jeno lets himself bask in the youngers arms for a few minutes. Breathing in Jaemin’s sweet scent, the scent that’s long faded from all of Jaemins clothes Jeno still has hidden away in his closet.

Eventually Jeno pulls away, grabbing his phone to check the time. Cursing when he realizes it’s after 5, he has barely two hours to get home, shower, and have dinner ready for Doyoung when he gets
Home.

He quickly gets dressed, walking over to Jaemin’s small couch, which seems to be the permanent home for his clean laundry. Picking up a cloth and heading into the bathroom, running it under warm water.

He brings the cloth to Jaemin, and hands it to the younger silently. He wants more than anything to wipe the younger down, or to carry him to the bathroom and take a long hot shower with him. Trading kisses as they wash each other down.

But it’s clear from the way Jaemin snatches the cloth without looking at Jeno. That it’s something the other just isn’t interested in.

“Are you coming to Haechans Christmas party?'' Jaemin asks, wiping himself down, surprising Jeno with the question, proper conversations are becoming less common every time they see each other.

Haechans had the same party every year since they were freshmen. His father always gets this time of year off so his parents head back to Korea for a few weeks. Over the years Jeno has watched as the party turnedfrom a simple excuse to get drunk, to a small gathering of close friends. Coming together to exchange presents and have a nice dinner a few days before the actual holiday.

Jeno’s surprised Jaemin is bringing it up two him, he wouldn't consider himself to be friends with Haechan anymore. The two haven't spoken in months, and he's always been more Jaemins friend than Jenos. He also hasn't gotten an invite.

“Not this year, Doyoung has a work dinner that day.'' Jeno lies, he's not sure if hospitals even have work dinners. Doyoung’s never mentioned one, but it's not like Jaemin will know otherwise.

“He was just wanting a headcount since Mark is still sick, so he and Renjun aren't coming,” Jaemin explains solefully. Tossing the dirty cloth to the floor. “I'll let him know you two aren't coming either”

“Thanks,” Jeno mutters. He wants to question what's wrong with Mark, and what that has to do with Runjun. but he doesn't, it feels weird to ask something he should clearly already know. He tries to remember the last time he spoke to either of them. August maybe?

He leaves soon after that, not wanting to bother Jaemin any longer. The younger never seems very happy after they sleep together, or before to be frank. But he keeps letting Jeno come over so Jeno has just assumed that Jaemin enjoys the sex. He's not sure how much longer that will last for , Jaemin’s going to get into a relationship sooner or later so that will be the end of this, if the younger doesn't get bored of him first.

The loss of his friendship with Jaemin may be the one he's suffering from the most. He's accepted that all his friendships from college are over. He’s not surprised by it. The same thing has happened before. Jeno is just the kind of person people get annoyed by easily. There is a reason why all his friendships end when people are no longer forced to be around him.

He did think Jaemin was different though. Their friendship lasted nearly 9 years, the longest one Jenos ever had. And Jaemin always claimed that they were “best friends” and “platonic soulmates”. But Jaemin started distancing himself a while ago. Then the affair started and Jaemin stopped texting him completely so he took the hint and did the same. Now the only time they see each other is during these nights.

-

“Have you gotten all the gifts for Haechans party yet?” Doyoung asks, drawing the curtains shut, blocking out the morning light. Drowning the bedroom in darkness.

“It's not happening this year” Jeno lies, there's no way he could explain the conversation he had with Jaemin earlier in a way that Doyoung would like.

“Why not?” Doyoung asks, checking the alarm before sliding into bed next to Jeno.

“I'm not really sure, Jaemin was all weird when I asked him about it” Jeno says, the lie falling off his tongue with ease. “maybe they're just doing it without us” he adds, in case Doyoung sees something online after the party happens.

“Wouldn't be surprised” Doyoung mutters, more to himself than Jeno. “What makes you think that though?” he asks, bringing a hand to stroke Jenos neck, playing with the collar of his shirt. Jeno feels a prickle of anxiety, worrying that Doyoung has spotted a mark left by Jaemin that he somehow missed. Then he remembers the room is dark, so there's no way Doyoung’s seeing anything.

“I'm just getting the vibe that they've gotten tired of me” Jeno replies, it sounds stupid, saying it out loud. “I know im kinda annoying so it's not really a surprise”

“Your not that annoying” Doyoung assures, “its just that you’re drawn to fake ass people”

Jeno knows he's only talking about Jaemin. He's never had a problem with the rest of Jeno’s friend group except for Jaemin. The two have always butted heads. Jaemin has always seemed to believe Doyoung is abusive, for some reason. But he’s never been able to give an explanation that wasn't in the vein of ‘he's too controlling’ and ‘he's literally running your life’. Which doesn't make sense, Doyoung never tells Jeno what to do.

And Doyoung has always hated Jaemin mainly because Jaemin used to think that Jeno and Doyoung got together when Jeno was underage. Which is not true, they didn’t sleep together till Jeno was eighteen. But also for pretending to like Doyoung despite the fact everyone knows he doesn't.

“Maybe you're right,” Jeno wonders. Doyoung wouldn’t lie to him, he's always been honest with Jeno when it comes to his flaws. Even now doyoung didn't lie telling him he wasn't annoying, he just said he wasn't annoying enough to deter people.

“Of course I'm right, I’m always fucken right” Doyoung jokes, sliding close to Jeno, resting his head on the younger shoulder. “I know your relationship with Jaemin and the others has been weird lately. And I know you feel like you're making a problem out of nothing, but if they aren’t making an effort to be a part of your life. It’s not your job to fix that, you will meet more people, and you’ll always have me” Doyoung explains, voice soft, comforting. Giving the same speech, he has countless times before.

“I know,” Jeno says, wrapping his arm around Doyoung, pulling him closer. He knows Doyoung is never going to leave him, even if he found out about the affair he wouldn't, because just like Jeno he has nowhere else to go.

“I love you” Doyoung mutters, repeating the same words he does every night. Reminding Jeno that he is still loved, maybe not by those who he wishes to be, but he is loved, and that’s all that really matters.

“I love you too”

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