Chapter Text
Colin
Almost immediately after he had spotted her, she seemed to do the same with him.
“Colin?“ Tentatively, she stepped closer.
Quickly he stood, realizing he was still sitting, just watching her.
“Penelope.“ He greeted her.
“What are you doing here?“
“I was waiting for you.“
Apparently confused, all she did was scrunch her nose. It was kind of…cute?
“Why?“
Why? Did she seriously not know?
“Because I need to apologize to you, Pen.“
And he really did. He needed it, and said neediness had only grown ever since she left that party. Ever since he waited on the ground while she had been…
Where had she been?
“Where where you?“ He asked.
Looking like his brother hiding the fine china, Colin knew something was up.
“Excuse me?“ She spoke, at least an octave higher than her usual tone.
“I was sitting here for hours before you came. It is late, you are alone, and there are no festivities that I am aware of. So where were you?“
”I was taking a walk!“ She blurted.
”A walk? Am I supposed to believe that? All this time, for a walk?“
“Well…y-yes! I take them all the time, what is so wrong with that?“
Colin narrowed his eyes. She got him there, and by the looks of it she knew that too. He could not be sure as to why he did not believe her. Was he projecting his own guilt onto her? For all he knew, she did do this all the time. Maybe she liked taking walks. It was not of habit for him to come here. Matter of fact, this was the first time ever he sought her out beyond social gatherings, so he would not know.
Because he did not know her.
Not in the way friends should know each other. Once again, Colin came face to face with his lack of…well, everything. Everything where it concerned Penelope Featherington.
It was humbling.
“I am sorry, you are right. It is none of my business.“
Which, for whatever reason, did not feel great to admit.
”I am here for nothing else but an apology. On my part, of course.“
He took a step forward. Leaned a bit closer. She tensed. That did not feel great, either.
“After what happened, after the way Cressida talked to you, I should have gone after you. I should have gone with you. I should have made it so that you did not have to leave in the first place. But I did not, and for that I am sorry Penelope. I truly am.“
He held his breath. Waiting.
“Thank you.“
He breathed. He was so relieved by her response, so glad she forgave him. The rigidness left his body. He could finally move on to bigger and better things, like starting to be a good friend. He did not notice how her eyes kept swaying past him, or how her feet slowly started inching away.
“So…how are you feeling?“ All things considered he could imagine, but he wanted to hear it from her. He wanted to hear her.
“I am fine. Tired, if I am honest. I think I should go now.“ She expressed, attempting to move past him in the process.
He stepped in her way, not letting her. Not liking how short she was being with him.
”You can talk to me. You know that, right?“
Strangely enough, this did not seem to reassure her at all, like he had it intended to.
“I really think it is best if I leave…“ But he did not let her finish.
“Is this about Eloise?“
By her reaction, her immediate flinching, Colin knew he struck a nerve. A big one, but he was not deterred.
“Whatever it is that happened between the two of you shall pass, and in the meantime? I simply see no reason for the two of us to not be as we have always been. I think you agree, otherwise why forgive me?“
He looked down at her, hoping to see something akin to agreement on her face. He saw something else instead, and whatever it was left him feeling dejected. It took a moment, but then he got it. She never forgave him, did she? She thanked him.
He was afraid to ask, but he had to know. He had to.
“Do you forgive me?“
Not looking at him, she took one more step back.
“It does not really matter, does it?“
There was no appropriate reaction to this, not on his behalf. Of course it mattered. She was his friend, for god’s sake! He did not know what to say or how to say it, and it did seem like it indeed would not matter. At least not to her.
“Thank you for coming here, I do appreciate it, but I have to go now.“
Penelope then gave him the first and last smile of that day.
“Goodnight, Colin.“
This time when she tried to move past him, he let her. He had wanted to stop her, truly, but then she turned around and made her way towards the building. Seeing her walk away like this reminded him so much of how she left the dinner party, yet it felt worse. Then, she had said goodbye to no one in particular. This right here? It was for him and for him only. It felt personal. It felt…final.
And that? That was unacceptable. He did not truly believe that they would never see each other again, but what these last minutes had done, was making Colin imagine a life in which their parting indeed was forever.
It was unacceptable.
It made him feel, and whatever he felt was cold. He messed up today, again. She had not forgiven him. That was fine. She would, because now he knew. How much he valued Penelope. As a friend. How important their relationship, their friendship, was to him. And he would make it all up to her, make her forgive him. Make this right.
Anything else?
Unacceptable.