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2022-07-28
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The Heavens Shall Weep

Summary:

Ziva reflects on the events of Truth or Consequences.

Work Text:

The Heavens Shall Weep
by Enthusiastic Fish

The Navy lodging wasn't beautiful. It wasn't even boring. It was stark...desolate. Empty. Ziva knew she was lucky to be here, lucky to be alive, lucky to be free, to have the chance to be back where people were real living human beings, not monsters in disguise or automatons without feelings or emotions. That world had been a world she thought she belonged to. It was a world she had tried to belong to. Her family, what remained of it, was a part of that world, and she, even knowing what she did about her father, wanted to be a part of her family.

That could never be. She knew it now. What little remained of her family was not hers to possess any longer. The years in NCIS had changed her, had saved her in so many ways. She couldn't go back...nor did she particularly want to.

She looked out the window at the gray skies and a rare smile lit up her face as it began to rain. It did rain in Israel. In fact, Jerusalem got more rain than some areas of the United States, but it had a special meaning for her...a special memory of her mother when she was very young. She had asked her mother why it rained and where the rain came from.

"It rains when the heavens cry."

"Why does heaven cry?"

"The heavens cry for people who are alone."

"But...isn't it always raining somewhere?"

"Yes...and there is always someone who is alone."

"Would they cry for me?"

"Only if you are alone...and I hope that never happens to you."

Ziva grabbed a jacket and an umbrella and headed out into the rain, walking around to the entrance to the Yard and headed inside. It seemed an eternity, even since she had first stepped off the elevator into the bullpen that day...was it only last week? ...and then, she hadn't taken the time to look around. All she had done was try to believe it was real. Now, she could appreciate the sights and sounds. Unconsciously, she walked to the docks, to the river...NCIS Headquarters behind her. The rain fell, bringing with it all the unique smells rain did.

It hadn't rained during the time she had been held captive in Somalia. Not once. She remembered thinking it wasn't fair when she knew that no one would be coming for her. No one cared enough about her to come. No one wanted her. All anyone ever did was betray her, abandon her. She was totally alone. ...and now even the heavens had abandoned her.

It wasn't until that moment when she had been dragged through those dry and dusty hallways, forced onto a chair and then come face-to-face with Tony that she had realized her mistake. Even then, it had taken time to understand what his presence meant, what Tim's supine form had meant. It was the reason why the rain had never fallen for her.

She hadn't ever really been alone. Every moment in that cell, every moment of pain...she had thought the world had turned its back...but it hadn't. She had tried to turn her back on the world, but the world wouldn't let her go. ...and so it hadn't rained...because there was always someone searching for her, someone wanting her back.

As she watched the raindrops splash into the waters of the river, she felt tears in her eyes at the realization of all they had risked...just to save her, just to get her back when there was no way they could have known whether or not she was alive. They couldn't have known and they came anyway.

She had never been alone. Not here, not in Israel...and not in Somalia. These people here had become her family, a family her mother would have cherished. Families didn't always get along, but when push came to shove, it didn't matter. What mattered was being there.

Tim, Tony...Gibbs. They had been there for her. Every one of them. She was lucky to be alive, yes...but she had so much more than life. She had a family. That was a blessing she hadn't enjoyed for a very long time. Wiping away her tears, she stood up and began to walk back toward the Yard entrance, but she stopped.

It was raining. For whom did the heavens weep this time? It wasn't for her. She wasn't alone. She looked back toward NCIS and saw a familiar lanky figure coming out, collar turned up, shoulders hunched...head bowed and not just against the rain.

He looked...alone.

Ziva called out and the man stopped and looked at her. As she walked toward him, the rain began to slow down.

"McGee, where are you going?"

He smiled. "Just taking a break. How are you doing?"

"I am...fine, McGee. May I walk with you?"

Tim smiled again. "Sure."

As she walked, she folded her umbrella.

It wasn't raining anymore.

FINIS!