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It's Not a Lie If You Cross Your Fingers

Chapter 5

Summary:

The final chapter. Its a wild ride.

Notes:

Trigger warning for panic attack/anxiety attack, but don't worry, this chapter has all the comfort that the prior chapter didn't. I hope you enjoy!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

 

“Do you know why I brought you in my office?” Bruce asks me.

I nod, trying to stay as calm as possible.

Just an hour ago, I told Bruce that my parents hate me and made me sleep outside last night. Bruce then told me—after a really amazing hug—to come inside and wash up. I did, and when I got myself to a point that I looked like a respectable human being, I told him all the times that my parents left me home, and how Dad broke my camera, and about all the times Mom and Dad yelled at me for being immature and irresponsible, even though I tried so hard to take care of myself without bothering them. Most of the time I’m really good at taking care of things without involving others, but I didn’t know how to get back inside the house, so I had to ask the Waynes for help. And that’s my fault. My parents didn’t leave me outside on purpose, they forgot, and it’s my fault that I couldn’t figure out a way to get back inside without making it someone else’s problem.

Anyway, Bruce listened to everything I had to say, and didn’t interrupt. Well, he interrupted once when I said I was sorry that I got him involved and that I shouldn’t have bothered him with my problems. He gave me a hug and told me that I can always ask him for help, and he’ll never be mad at me for asking, which is really cool, but for some reason it made me cry.

After telling him all of that, he told me he wanted me to follow him to his office. When we got there, Dick and Jason were sitting on the couch. Bruce gave me his rolling chair so that he could sit on the couch.

And that’s where we are right now.

 “Tim?” Bruce asks, trying to get my attention, “You said you know why I brought you here.”

“Yes. This is your office. You have a business proposal for me.”

Bruce smiles, “You could call it that.”

My heart is practically exploding out of my chest at this point. This is the moment. He’s really going to ask me. He’s really going to ask me!

“Tim, your parents will be under investigation, and I don’t want you to worry about having to be placed in a group home, or any other unfamiliar living arrangement. I’ve discussed it with Jason and Dick, and we’d like for you to consider joining the—.”

“Yes! I accept the position. I’m technically not an orphan, but I guess that isn’t always a job requirement.”

“Job requirement?” Bruce asks.

“Yes. The job requirement for the Robin position. I’m so excited. I didn’t think I’d even be able to apply because Jason’s already Robin, but I’m totally okay with being an understudy. And it works out good because I don’t know how to fight, and Dick taught me how to do a backflip and it was only a little scary, but I can do it if there’s an emergency because of adrenaline. Did you know stuff called adrenaline can make someone like me strong enough to lift a car if I had to save someone trapped under it? I learned that in school last year.”

Dick and Jason are laughing hysterically at this point, but Bruce just shakes his head, “I’m offering you the Robin position?”

I’m not sure why he just said it like he was asking a question, but I stick out my hand to accept the job offer.

“I accept the position, Batman. And I won’t let you down. Jason can still be Robin until he gets promoted when he’s old enough like Nightwing, so I can do things like laundry, and computer research and filing papers and—and I can get coffee too! I’ll be the best superhero intern ever.”

Bruce doesn’t shake my hand. He just blinks at me.

Jason snorts, “Don’t pretend that you aren’t going to drink half my coffee before it gets to me, New Robin.”

“Okay,” I shrug, “Maybe the coffee idea is a bad one, but I can still file papers, and I can do computer stuff, and help on comms, and Alfred can teach me some medical things so I can help bandage you guys up.”

Dick puts his arm around Bruce, “He’s gonna need a suit, B. Every Robin gets a suit.”

I jump out of the chair, “I get a suit?! This is so cool. If I’m doing most of my work in the Batcave, I might need something warmer than shorts. Wait, no. I can use my cape as a blanket if I get cold so maybe shorts are okay.”

Bruce runs his hand through his hair.

“Tim? What makes you think that I’m Batman?”

Jason pats Bruce on the back, “B, we’re so past that. Timmy blew our secret identities wide open. Denying it now is just kinda cringe. Actually,” he turns to me, “How long have you known?”

Dick winces while mumbling, “Please don’t let it be my fault. Please don’t let it be my fault.”

I give Dick a silent I’m-sorry-face before I answer.

“I figured it out last year. I saw Robin do a quadruple somersault on an online video, and it’s a move that only Dick Grayson could do when he was in the circus, and after that it didn’t take long to connect the rest of the dots. When Dick became Nightwing it was pretty easy to figure out that Bruce Wayne’s newest adopted son, Jason, became the new Robin. Superman’s identity was easy to figure out once I knew who you guys were, and then the rest of the Justice League came pretty easily too.”

Jason whistles, “We’ve got a little junior detective here. Good work, Timmy.”

Bruce looks far more serious than his giggling sons.

“Did you tell anyone the information that you learned?” he asks me.

“What? No. Of course not. I would never— Oh no.”

A horrible realization hits me, as I sink back down in my chair. “You didn’t know that I knew your secret. That means you weren’t offering me a job.”

I can feel the tears gathering in my eyes and my voice breaks, “You were probably asking something like ‘do you want to join the family for dinner and then I’ll let you borrow money for bus fare to get to the police station’.”

The speed of my breathing is nearing hyperventilation levels.

My chair hits the back of Bruce’s desk and I realize I’ve been slowly rolling further and further away from Bruce. My back is essentially against the wall and that’s all it takes for the full-blown panic attack to start.

The air is not only sucked out of my lungs, but it feels like it’s sucked out of the entire room. I need to leave right now—RIGHT NOW—but a weight is pushing down on my chest, preventing me from even moving out of my chair.

This is definitely not how a Robin handles a high-pressure situation.

Everything is falling apart.

I can’t—I can’t

“Open your eyes, Timmy. It’s Robin. You’re gonna be okay. Just open your eyes.”

I follow Robin’s orders and when I open my eyes he’s looking back at me, eyebrows knitted together in concern. After a moment, he sighs, and the worry lifts from his face. It’s replaced with a smile.

“That’s it Timmers. You’re doing great. Just focus on me, Robin, the greatest superhero alive.”

I want to laugh, but I don’t have enough air in my lungs to do that.

“I need you to breathe, buddy. Put your hand on my chest and we’ll do it together, okay?”

I nod and but my hand on his chest. His heart is racing as fast as mine, but I try to match the rising and falling of his chest. He’s breathing really quickly so that it matches mine, but as he slows the pace down, I automatically do the same.

The longer I breathe with Jason, the more relaxed I feel. My hand is against his chest to set the pace of breathing, but it’s also a lifeline. His chest gives me something solid to hold onto, so I don’t float away.

When breathing becomes easy, Jason ruffles my hair, “Good job, little T.”

I don’t need to keep my hand on Jason’s chest to regulate my breathing, but the thought of letting go makes me grip onto his shirt for dear life. And if that wasn’t embarrassing enough, the whine that slips out when he leans back to pull away, is mortifying.

Jason smiles as he removes my hand from his shirt, but he holds onto my hand as he talks, “Status report?”

His words remind me how much I misread Bruce’s conversation. I’m not a Robin. I’m pretty sure after this stunt I’ll never be a Robin. I’ll be lucky if I can ever look at Bruce without wanting to sink into the ground and disappear.

Jason/Robin is looking for an answer. I chew on my lip again

“I’m so embarrassed, Jason. I made a fool out of myself in front of Batman.”

“Are you kidding? What you did was awesome. Bruce was gonna offer you a chance to stay here on a temporary emergency placement order until the thing with your psycho parents is resolved, but you just pulled the I know you’re Batman card, so now Bruce has no choice but to keep you forever.”

“What? No!” I gasp, “I’d never tell anyone your secrets. I’m not—I’m not blackmailing Batman!

Jason’s still holding my hand, so he tugs me out of the chair, “Relax, I’ve done worse. I tried to steal the guy’s tires. Anyway, wanna see the Batcave?”

Bruce clears his throat, “Jason, I don’t think—.”

But we’re already at the doorway when Jason shouts over his shoulder, “It’s all good, B. Touring the Batcave is an instant cure for panic attacks.”

Jason is pulling me down the hallway when we pass Alfred.

“Is everything alright, Master Jason?”

“Yup. Just taking Tim to see the Batcave, Alfie.”

“Very well,” Alfred says without looking the least bit surprised, “Just make sure you both are back upstairs in time for dinner.”

Jason stops at one of the parlor rooms and props a chair next a huge grandfather clock. He hops onto the chair and starts spinning the hands of the clock as he hums.

“Gotta set it for 10:47. That’s the time that Bruce’s parents were murdered. It’s a little extra if you ask me. The only one more dramatic than Bruce is Dick.”

“You wanna say that to my face, Little Wing?” Dick yells from behind us.

“You’re the only one more dramatic than Bruce,” Jason repeats.

“Says the guy that can’t even reach the clock without a ladder.”

Jason makes a face at Dick, but the clock opens up to a hidden winding staircase, distracting both of the brothers from their argument.

Jason flies down the stairs, with me running behind him, and Dick trailing behind both of us.

When my feet hit the last stair, I’m frozen in place by what I see. There’s literally an entire cave filled with more electronic equipment than a computer store. The only thing that snaps me out of my momentary shock is Dick’s hands on my shoulders as he vaults into the air and flips over my head. It’s the only way he can prevent from crashing into me since I stooped short without any warning.

As Dick lands in front of me, effortlessly, Jason laughs, “Showing off like that was what blew our cover in the first place, Dickie.”

They start bickering again, but I ignore it. The giant car in the distance grabs my full attention.

That… that’s the Batmobile.

My feet move independently from my brain, taking me to the legendary car. I put my hands on the hood just to make sure it’s real—because the last ten minutes have felt like a crazy dream—and the cold metal exterior of the Batmobile is against my hands. This isn’t real. This can’t be real.

Reality slams into me when an ear-piercing screech comes from the speakers. I whip my head in Dick and Jason’s direction. Over the excruciatingly loud sound Dick laughs, “You set off the alarm.”

I put my hands over my ears as Dick runs to the Batcomputer—The Batcomputer—and disables the alarm.

When the alarm stops, and it’s safe to uncover my ears, one sound turns into another. The blaring alarm had hidden the sound of bats shrieking. The bats aren’t happy I woke them up and I’m pretty sure they’re all flying towards me.

I sprint to the staircase, but I hit the brick wall of Bruce’s chest first. I try to burrow myself as close to his chest as I can, trying to use Batman as a shield against the bat attack. He doesn’t have his cape, but he’s massive enough to hide me from the shrieking bats.

He closes his arms around me, protecting me from the bat attack. I shake my head and whine, “You can’t let them bite me. They’ll turn me into a vampire.”

Bruce laughs, “The bats down here are loud, but they don’t leave their area. You’re not in danger.”

I peek my head away from the safety of Bruce’s chest and he’s right. The bats are still shrieking, but they’re nowhere near us.

Bruce’s voice is soft, “What happened?”

I chew on my lip again, “I set off the car alarm.”

Bruce’s chest rumbles against my cheek as he laughs, “You’re the second son of mine that tried to mess with my car.”

“Son?” I ask.

For once Bruce sounds flustered, “Um, I didn’t mean—that wasn’t what I—.” He settles on a ‘Hn,’ to end the sentence.

He pulls away from the hug but keeps his hands on my shoulders as he kneels own to be eye-level with me. I really want to look him in the eyes, but I’m still mortified from my early behavior.

“Can you look at me Tim?” he asks gently, “If not, that’s okay too.”

I keep chewing on my lip as I lift my eyes to meet his. It’s weird to see him looking back at me with a little embarrassment of his own.

“I’m sorry I called you son. I know that you have a father already—.”

“Barely,” Jason snorts, which earns him a glare from Bruce.

When Bruce focuses back on me, he sighs, “You came to me for help and that was the right call. You can absolutely trust me. No strings attached. I want you to feel comfortable as a guest at Wayne Manor, but that needs to be your decision. The boys, Alfred, and I are here to help, as everything gets settled with your parents, but we aren’t here to pressure you into anything. You’re used to being an extremely independent young man. Adjusting to a larger family setting like ours can be a little overwhelming.”

The only reason I know that I’m crying is because Bruce wipes a tear from my cheek with his thumb.

“I don’t think I’m ready to be Robin,” I whisper.

“That’s alright,” he says with a smile, “Batman doesn’t need another Robin right now, but he does need a Tim. Do you know any Tims I can recruit?”

“No one’s ever wanted a Tim. Are you sure you want me?” I say, blinking back more tears.

Bruce nods, “You have a home here until we can work out more permanent arrangements, but you don’t have to make that decision right now. That’s what I was trying to tell you in my office. And if you choose another arrangement with Commissioner Gordon, I’ll still help you in any way that I can.” He ruffles my hair and his voice switches to a much more relaxed tone, “But we can worry about that later. For now, I’ll let the boys take you on a tour of the Batcave.”

Jason walks up to my left side.

“No worries, B. We won’t break anything, set anything on fire, or do anything else that could cause permanent damage.” Jason ends his promise with a wink.

“Yeah, well if you do, make sure to clean it up,” Bruce says with a sigh.

Bruce gives me one last pat on the shoulder and exits the Cave.

Jason puts his arm around me, “I’m not gonna lie, I hope you stay at Casa del Batman. I’m so ready for Bruce to adopt you. I’m tired of being Dick’s littlest brother. You’re actually little, so the title fits you better. But like Bruce said, you don’t have to make that decision yet. You wanna take the Bat-tour?”

“I do, but I need your help first. Dad bought me a new goldfish and I need to bring him here so I can feed him and take care of him. Can you help me?”

Jason grins wider than I’ve ever seen, “You’re asking if I can help you break into your house and rescue Goldie? Dude, if I’ve ever been overqualified for a mission…”

Dick can tell that I’m still a little unsteady from my panic attack from before, so he hoists me on his back, piggy-back style. When I link my hands under his chin, he shakes his head, “I think we can come up with a better name than Goldie.”

Jason groans, “I swear to God, if you say Batfish, well, actually that doesn’t sound that bad. I kinda like it.”

When we exit the Batcave, Alfred is dusting the grandfather clock.

Dick calls out over his shoulder.

“Be back soon Alfie. We’re headed to rescue a goldfish from the perils of starvation and the crushing pain of loneliness.”

“Understood, Master Richard. Make sure you all return on time for dinner.”

The three of us answer in unison, “We will, Alfie.”

We head to Drake Manor, and I can’t stop thinking about something. The first time I met Robin was when I convinced him to go gravedigging with me to help my goldfish, and now, I’m asking him to help by breaking-and-entering my house, to help my new goldfish. I wonder how many more crimes I’ll ask Robin to commit in the name of my pets.

Jason’s fiddling with the lock pick, so Dick grips me a little tighter so I don’t fall when he turns his head. He whispers, “Was I really the one that blew our secret identities? You had a feeling who we were before you saw the video clip of my somersault, right?”

My hands are still attached under Dick’s neck, but I’m still able to cross my fingers.

“I had my suspicions before the video,” I say, crossing my fingers tighter.

The door clicks open before Dick can press me further on my lie.

As we head up the stairs, Dick snaps his fingers.

“What do you think about Fish-wing?”

“Dude, what? That sounds like a freakin’ fish and chicken sandwich from some lame fast-food joint. Besides, Jay-fish sounds better. What do you think, Tim?”

I dismount Dick so I can grab the fishbowl. I look back at Dick and Jason, and smile.

“Bruce is neutral, so we should let him decide. Now, let’s get out of here. We need to get home before we miss dinner.”

It’s the first time I called Wayne Manor home, and as we leave Drake Manor, I have a wonderful feeling that I’ll be calling Wayne Manor my home for a long time.

I hug the fishbowl as we walk.

Home.

 

 

Notes:

That's it. Thank you so much for all your comments, kudos, bookmarks, and even just reading the story. I hope it was a satisfying ending and the story was as fun to read as it was for me to write. There was a three week span of time that Tim spent at Wayne Manor between chapter 3 and 4 so my next fic is going to be during that time and we get to see more of the fun things he did. Its being posted for the Sicktember event so it will start on September 1st. I always say that I'm going to write a sequel and then a new shiny idea pops up, so I'm not sure, but I've almost finished writing the Sicktember fic and I really love this AU so I definitely want to write more.
Thanks again for everything and I'd love to hear what you think. Have an awesome day everyone!

Notes:

Thanks for reading my random idea that turned into a multiple chaptered story lol. Let me know what you think. Comments are always appreciated!

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