Chapter Text
I keep my eyes closed as Vox maneuvers us into the living room. I don’t need to open them as I feel him lower me onto the couch, though he’s shifting me so he can lie beneath me. Like puzzle pieces indeed; I feel him pull blankets over me, making sure I’m snug. I can barely think; I nuzzle into his chest, sighing in content. Like this, I could almost forget what just happened.
Almost.
I raise my head and finally open my eyes. Vox looks like more than a mess than I’ve ever seen; his make-up is smeared from tears, and his eyes are still sparkling from them, too. Those strange eyes. How had I never noticed the pink in them before? It’s fading now, beginning to take on more of the hue I’m used to, but that doesn’t mean I can just forget. He said it was time for answers, and . . .
“. . . what are you?”
That guilty look again. Like he’s at war with himself. He can’t seem to hold my gaze anymore; he looks away. His hand comes back to card at my hair, and I nuzzle into it. I turn my face to gaze at it - and gasp.
His whole hand - up his wrist into his long-sleeved shirt - looks burnt. It’s dark red and almost smoking. I cry out and grab for it, but he pulls it away. I catch it anyway and hear him wince. I look back to him, unable to hide my distress.
“What hurt you? Did . . . did I do this?!”
“No,” he says. “You didn’t. The seal did. I didn’t have any other choice.”
“What seal?” I ask. “You said I was . . . possessed?”
“You were,” he says. His eyes bore into mine. “You were possessed by some kind of demon. I’m not sure what kind; my friend, Shoto, would be able to tell you, but he isn’t here right now. All I can tell you is that whatever it was, it was very malevolent - and it’s the reason for all of these spells you’ve been having.”
A demon? My eyes go wide. “I-Is it gone?!”
“Yes,” He nods. “I dispelled it. The proof is on the bedroom floor; I had to hit you with a dispelling seal. That . . .” he looks to the burnt hand that I’m still holding. “. . . is why my hand is burned.”
My eyes widen. If that seal was to dispel demons, and it burnt him just from touching it . . .
“I’m sorry I never told you.”
“You’re a demon, too,” I breathe. “But- but you’ve never hurt me.”
A pause. He answers at a slow pace. “I’m . . . a voice demon. That’s where my name comes from: ‘Vox Akuma’. You’ve just never heard me use my influence on you. At least,” his eyes drop, “Not until a few weeks ago.”
“You used it on me?”
His eyes meet mine again, and he speaks. “Remember back to the night when I was talking with Shoto. How I told you it was a dream. Remember it for what it was.”
His voice flows through me like honey. My eyes droop - and then it all comes back to me with a stunning clarity. I recoil as if from whiplash. “That wasn’t a dream?”
“I didn’t want to scare you.”
“I . . .”
I wasn’t sure what to say. All of this time, my boyfriend was a demon. All of the little things I’d dismissed, all of the cryptic nonsense . . . things I’d ignored in the past . . . began to make sense. And the proof was in the pudding, wasn’t it? He’d dispelled a demon from me, and in the process, he’d gotten hurt . . . for my sake.
My eyes water. I shut my eyes and start to cry.
I feel his hand in my hair. “I’m so sor-”
“Shut up,” I weep. “Don’t talk. I- I can’t deal with that right now.”
He doesn’t answer. I bury my face in his chest and sob. I don’t know what to make of any of this. My body hurts; my head hurts worse of all. The sting of his lies makes me ache. But at the same time, I can’t help but feel the bubble of . . . gratefulness wash over me. He’d saved me - and at his own risk, too. And regardless of all of it - I still love him, don’t I?
I’m just in so much pain already. I have so many questions, not enough answers. I don’t even know where to start. I finally think of where, and look back up to him with eyes that must be red with tears.
“Shoto is . . . your friend, right?”
“Shoto!” his eyes go wide, as if relieved that I’m throwing him a soft ball. “He’s one of my friends, yes. He’s actually a demon slayer. We go back several years. He was originally trying to hunt me, and I him, but we . . . found we had a lot in common, and made amends,” he says. That guilty look comes into his eyes again, and he adds, “We were also . . . sexual partners at one point. If I am to be transparent with you, I may as well add that.”
Well. I knew he was bicurious, but I didn’t know he had experimented. The brief surprise of that makes me blink and almost forget why I’m upset, but it all comes back swiftly. I sigh, and rest my head on his chest again. “He’s the one that gave you that seal?”
“Yes,” he says. “He was the one I was talking to on the phone that night, too.”
“Do you have other friends like him? Demons, or demon slayers?”
Another pause. “I’m friends with a sorcerer, a mafia boss, a detective, and a virtual novelist. Those are my four best friends . . . besides you.”
“Do they know you’re a demon, too?”
“. . . yes. I’ve known them for several years. Ike - the novelist - figured it out first. Naturally, he insisted I tell the others.” His hand returns to my hair and keeps stroking it. “It’s a very complicated situation, which I’ll have to tell you some other time-”
I lift my head again and narrow my eyes at him.
“-alright, fair point. All of us bonded over somehow being reincarnated, or otherwise teleported to, this age. Four hundred years ago, I was in my prime, but was killed; I only gained enough strength to recreate my form several years back. That’s the ‘sparknotes’ version of it, at least.”
“. . . it sounds dumb and complicated,” I mumble. I know it’s the exhaustion speaking, but I’m so tired, I just want to sleep. He shushes me and leans down to kiss my temple. He continues to stroke my hair.
“For what it’s worth, demons aren’t common, at least not as common as you’ve experienced. When you told me you’d had encounters with dangerous men who looked like me . . . that was a mirror demon. It took on my appearance to fool you and take advantage of the demon that was within you before. When you encountered me, it was forced to stay away. Shoto told me he killed that demon quite recently, so that demon should never be a problem for anybody again.”
“What about the other demon?” I ask in a whisper. “The one that . . .”
“Ah. I’m not certain, but I think that was a chatting demon. It takes on multiple faces and voices to try and control a host. As you’ve observed, it does its job . . . decently.”
So it did. I shudder and shut my eyes. “Could I have . . .?”
He doesn’t answer immediately, and the hand in my hair stops. But, after a moment, he does reply. “No, dear, I don’t think you could’ve prevented it. You might be a magnet of some kind - attracting demons to you - but there would’ve been nothing you could do to stop it from possessing you. That’s not how it works. Humans don’t have good protection against demons; they’re possessed and controlled so easily. Just like you fell under the influence of my voice.”
Even though he’s telling me, outright, that it’s not my fault . . . I can’t help but blame myself. Especially as I think about his hand. I turn my head to kiss his palm, and I hear his breath catch; I finally ask, “Is that . . . everything?”
“I think that’s all of it . . . except for maybe one thing,” I turn back to him raising a brow at him. “You wouldn’t happen to remember anything from . . . say . . . a different life? Perhaps in Japan?”
“A different life?” I ask. “Not that I can think of.”
“. . . I see.” His eyes go sad again. They’re back to the colour they were before, the honey colour I was used to, but I can’t help but feel like they’re lying to me with their hue alone. I find myself reaching up and touching his cheekbone, in part to wipe away the tear stains on his face.
“Your eyes,” I murmur. “Do they only change when you’re using your power?”
“. . . normally I hide their usual hue,” he says. “I find it disturbs most humans who look at them.”
“. . . not me,” I say. I tuck my face back against his chest and sigh. “Don’t hide them from me. Please.”
“As you say,” he whispers. “Are you . . . how do you feel?”
“. . . I ache, all over. Other than that, I don’t know,” I sigh. “This is going to take time for me to accept. All of it. I can barely think it through.”
“I know. I’m so, so sorry.”
“Can I meet your friends? Once things blow over?”
“Of course,” his hand finally rests on the back of my neck. “I’m so sorry this happened during our anniversary. I was hoping we could do more, but . . .”
“We’ll save it for next month,” I mumble. “Hopefully I’m less mad then.”
“I didn’t mean to-”
“It’s not your fault. It’s . . . the situation,” I sigh. “Vox, I’m so tired . . .”
“Sleep, love,” I feel him kiss the top of my head. “The nightmare is over. Please sleep. I’ll be right here.”
I nod, and drift off.