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AITA for not knowing how to woman

Chapter 2: AITA for getting my sister pads instead of tampons because I don't want her to risk TSS. Also, she doesn't know how to use them.

Summary:

My sister (none of your business, F) asked me (also none of your business) to get her tampons. I got her pads, because 1) she doesn’t know how to use tampons, and 2) there is the very real possibility that she gets TSS, because we work long, irregular hours, and she might end up forgetting to switch them out in a timely fashion, and then where would she be???

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

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r/AmItheAsshole · Posted by PadsNotTampons 3 hours ago.

AITA for getting my sister pads instead of tampons because I don't want her to risk TSS. Also, she doesn't know how to use them.

Not enough info

My sister (none of your business, F) asked me (also none of your business) to get her tampons. I got her pads, because 1) she doesn’t know how to use tampons, and 2) there is the very real possibility that she gets TSS, because we work long, irregular hours, and she might end up forgetting to switch them out in a timely fashion, and then where would she be???

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puzzledbutgame63 points · 3 hours ago

INFO: are you your sister’s brother or sister? Because if it’s the former, it’s a definitive YTA.

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dudenodude45 points · 3 hours ago

I mean, it’s still a pretty definitive YTA if OP is a woman.

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NoBoomersAllowed33 points · 3 hours ago

Nah, then it depends on their ages.

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ProudGreendaleGrad6 points · 3 hours ago

Why? If you assume that OP is the older sister and thus her sister’s guardian and thus NTA, then the same logic should hold if OP is the older brother, right?

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nocandosville18 points · 3 hours ago

Nope.

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PadsNotTampons16 points · 3 hours ago

I am a woman.

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TheAgePolice8 points · 3 hours ago

So, you’re over 18?

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bantheidiots29 points · 3 hours ago

Do you.... believe a girl needs to be above the legal age of consent in order to be allowed to use tampons? Is that what you're implying?

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OldAndWise55 points · 3 hours ago

INFO: While I understand your reluctance to disclose your ages, given the sensitive nature of the topic, the answer to your question does depend on your ages. If you and your sister are very young– and I’m guessing that you are– then I’m leaning towards a NTA. But if you’re in your twenties or thirties, then the answer would be very different.

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LyingFlat37 points · 3 hours ago

I actually assumed they're both adults given they work long hours. However, I agree that it depends. If the sister is any age older than like 15 then Y T A majorly for trying to control her body like that.

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RebelForACause16 points · 2 hours ago

Yeah if OP's sister is an adult that this is super weird and controlling.

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TheSisterInQuestion22 points · 3 hours ago

I’m in my forties.

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PadsNotTamponsOP20 points · 3 hours ago

No you’re not. Stop lying.

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TheSisterInQuestion18 points · 3 hours ago

I am not lying, Sam, what the fuck??? I get that the situation is super weird and hard to explain, but couldn’t you just say that we grew up in a crazy cult that believed tampons would deflower us or something???

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PadsNotTamponsOP-5 points · 3 hours ago

STOP LYING ABOUT OUR AGES, DEANNA, OR ELSE I’M GOING TO TELL MOM.

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TheSisterInQuestion -4 points · 3 hours ago

OUR MOM IS DEAD. I AM A HORMONAL WOMAN IN MY FORTIES AND IF YOU KEEP LYING I WILL CUT A BITCH.

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dontdrinkthekoolaid11 points · 3 hours ago

Did you grow up in a crazy cult that believed tampons would deflower you?

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TheSisterInQuestion2 points · 3 hours ago

YES AND MY SISTER IS CLEARLY NOT FULLY DEPROGRAMMED. SHE IS OPPRESSING ME THE SAME WAY THE CULT DID ALL THOSE YEARS

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PM_ME_DavisUnionOrganizer39 points · 3 hours ago

INFO: What’s your line of work? You mentioned working long and irregular hours– do you have regular bathroom breaks?

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PadsNotTamponsOP23 points · 3 hours ago

We own a lemonade stand.

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TheSisterInQuestion16 points · 3 hours ago

WE DO NOT. We travel the country as exterminators. And we used to be able to go in a bottle until recently.

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PadsNotTamponsOP-5 points · 3 hours ago

Either way, the answer is no, we’re not able to replace the tampons after four hours of use, WHICH IS TO SAY THAT WE SHOULDN’T BE USING TAMPONS IN THE FIRST PLACE.

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flushwithcommonsense12 points · 2 hours ago

You only need to replace a tampon every 8 hours… which you can definitely do whether you run a lemonade stand or are exterminators.

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MrsPeriodsUnderstander17 points · 2 hours ago

The rule is 4-8 hours according to the FDA, and 6 hours is the max to significantly reduce risk of infection. I guess OP is going for the minimum of the range.

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PadsNotTamponsOP-7 points · 2 hours ago

So sue me for being cautious. Have you heard of TSS?

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MrsPeriodsUnderstander1 point · 12 min. ago

Yes… I literally just commented about it. I’m not sure how you managed to come off as mansplaining periods to another woman, but you need to chill.

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HumanPolygraphTest32 points · 3 hours ago

…I honestly just cannot get a read on how old OP and her sister are. It’s impossible.

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constantlyvigilant28 points · 3 hours ago

I think OP is the liar because why else wouldn’t they just say their age? OP knows they’re TA.

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alwayssafeneversorry17 points · 3 hours ago

Because the internet is full of creeps??? I’d never want my kids to tell anyone online their ages. It pretty much proves they actually are young kids that OP refuses to say.

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constantlyvigilant23 points · 3 hours ago

OP also said they work long hours at their jobs. You really believe they work “long irregular hours” at a child’s lemonade stand? OP just doesn’t want to be embarrassed that she’s trying to control her 40 y/o sister’s period products. The sister should go nc because this is super weird and controlling. OP is clearly a narcissist.

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alwayssafeneversorry18 points · 3 hours ago

“Traveling exterminators” sounds like a lie a child would come up with. Seriously what kind of idiot would come up with a stupid lie like that? A kid—that's who. Also, a woman in her 40s definitely would have tried tampons by now. They’re children.

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TheeEldestDaughter16 points · 2 hours ago

Not necessarily. That’s just a presumption you’re making. My mom went her whole life wearing pads and she birthed 5 kids. Some women also have such a heavy flow that they need large pads and any tampon of any size will soak through.

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thepapergirls27 points · 2 hours ago

INFO: OP’s sister, couldn’t you get your own pads?

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TheSisterInQuestion3 points · 2 hours ago

NO, BECAUSE I’M IN GREAT PAIN. I CAN’T LEAVE THE HEATING PAD.

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AllergicToTeaching17 points · 2 hours ago

OP’s sister is obviously a twelve-year-old with an overactive imagination. Her sister’s the one with the driver’s license.

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NotGuillible9 points · 2 hours ago

I disagree 1) If Deanna is any older than like 13 her sister is completely out of line to try and prevent her from using tampons over pads 2) Girls 13 and younger don’t talk like Deanna does in this thread.

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AllergicToTeaching14 points · 2 hours ago

…You’d be surprised.

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PadsNotTamponsOP3 points · 2 hours ago

She doesn’t have a car. She isn’t old enough.

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TheSisterInQuestion-7 points · 2 hours ago

HOW DARE YOU. IF YOU EVER WANT ME TO SPEAK TO YOU AGAIN YOU WILL APOLOGIZE TO ME AND MY BABY

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TheSisterInQuestion3 points · 2 hours ago

INFO: Sam, I am currently living through the horror film Rehymenated 2: Electric Boogaloo. Do you think you can find it in yourself to be just a little more supportive?

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PadsNotTamponsOP-1 points · 2 hours ago

I am being supportive! I’m protecting you from TSS!

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TheSisterInQuestion-2 points · 2 hours ago

I HAVE IRON DEFICIENCY AND YOU ARE DOOMING ME TO BLEED EVERYWHERE HOW IS THAT PROTECTING ME

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PadsNotTamponsOP-11 points · 2 hours ago

You’re going to bleed either way. You should eat some spinach and liver to replenish!

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TheSisterInQuestion-4 points · 2 hours ago

I WILL KILL YOU AND BURY YOUR BODY UNDER ALL THE PADS YOU BOUGHT FOR ME

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ProPeriodPoster22 points · 1 hour ago

Alright–adult woman here–you girls sound very young, so let me give you some general advice–the advice I wish my conservative mother had given me. It is probably best to avoid tampons for a little while, because inserting them can be tricky for a lot of people. However, I know pads can feel very icky, and they can be extra uncomfortable if you have a heavy flow and can get blood on your pants, skirt, etc. A great alternative to pads (especially because they are one-use products that are bad for the environment) is period panties. You can find all kinds of them online and in stores. r/PeriodUnderwear would be a good place to start looking for brands. They are much more comfortable than pads and a good pair will absorb more than pads do. They can be washed and then hung to dry and reused. There are also r/clothpads if you want to try those!

When you get a little older (or if tampons and the like can’t be avoided because you want to go swimming and that kind of thing) then tampons are a good next option. I recommend starting with the smallest size. Not to be TMI but a lot of people do not realize that the vaginal opening and the urethra (where your pee comes out) are not the same. For most women, their vaginal opening will be between the urethra and the anus, closer to the anus than the urethra. If you wash your hands thoroughly, you can feel around until you find it. This may be easier on your period. Sometimes, following the instructions to insert a tampon into your vaginal opening can be difficult because not all vaginas are the same, but one mistake a lot of people make the first time is trying to push the tampon straight upward. You should actually tilt the tampon so you are pushing it through your vaginal opening but angled toward your butt. Sometimes you may want to try standing or leaning in different positions to aid insertion, but the number one most important thing is that you are relaxed. If you are tensed up (from pain or nerves) you will have trouble inserting it the first time. Breathe carefully and focus on relaxing your muscles.

Now, when you have reached a point where you have become comfortable with tampons, I personally think the very best period product is period cups. These are also reusable products, like period panties, but you insert them like tampons. The advantage over tampons is that they are better for the environment, and you don’t have to be mindful of a string hanging down when you use the toilet. This is “expert level” period stuff, so I recommend waiting until you are fully comfortable with tampons before trying period cups. When you are ready, r/menstrualcups is a great place to start helping you find the right cup for you! MenstrualCupReviews.com also has a quiz you can take to help narrow down the right cup! There are also period discs (which are similar to period cups) and there is a subreddit for those as well–- r/menstrualdiscs.

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foiledbytampons17 points · 1 hour ago

This is such a good answer. Take my gold.

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TheSisterInQuestion5 points · 58 min. ago

Update: my sister just got me a box of tampons. It says that the best position is on the toilet, but if I need to be relaxed, shouldn’t I be on a bed???

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ProPeriodPoster17 points · 40 min. ago

You can put it in while on your bed if you want, but be mindful that you might get blood or uterine lining on your sheets. Of course this is easily dealt with by placing something underneath your hips to protect your sheets and mattress. If you choose the toilet, one popular position is to sit on the toilet but lean forward slightly. It tilts your pelvis in a way that will aid insertion.

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MacIAm8817 points · 2 hours ago

YTA. You don’t get to tell any woman or girl how to handle her period. If she wants tampons, there’s a reason. Get her tampons. Pads suck anyway.

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ErinTheTerminator12 points · 2 hours ago

Good pads aren’t so bad. At least you can sleep a full night while wearing them.

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LongSuffering9 points · 2 hours ago

Recs???

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CopyThatDrQuilkin13 points · 1 hour ago

You don’t trust your sister with her own vagina. YTA.

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TheSisterInQuestion8 points · 49 min. ago

Update: Is my sister TA for getting me organic cotton tampons without the applicators? I feel like that’s a major fuck-you move, because she totally set me up to fail.

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hardpassonthediagram3 points · 40 min. ago

Take it from an old woman that tampons without applicators are easier to use. You just need to twist the string a few times and apply it with your finger. Your finger bends; the applicator doesn’t.

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TheSisterInQuestion5 points · 38 min. ago

Yeah, but it also automates the process, doesn’t it??? I’m told it’s like a gun, except it shoots tampons instead of bullets. I’m good with guns.

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TheVoiceOfExperience5 points · 34 min. ago

All due respect to the lady above but she's wrong—especially about a first-time user. I definitely recommend an applicator. A PLASTIC applicator, not any of that cardboard madness that scrapes your insides.

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PadsNotTamponsOP-13 points · 40 min. ago

These are more sustainable. Do you really want to contribute to more plastic waste?

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TheSisterInQuestion2 points · 36 min. ago

But this is my first time.

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PadsNotTampons11 points · 30 min. ago

SO YOU ADMIT THAT YOU ARE NOT IN YOUR FORTIES.

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TheSisterInQuestion-4 points · 27 min. ago

It’s my first time using tampons.

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FingersLikeArrows-2 points · 26 min. ago

Just admit you're like 13. No adult would argue like this in a Reddit thread..

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getoffmylawn7 points · 22 min. ago

...Have you been on reddit???

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[Removed] · 25 min. ago

[Removed]

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No1Wants2SeeUrs MOD[hidden] · 10 min. ago ·

Removed for violating Rule 1: Be Civil.

My two cents: No kid could come up with the comment I just removed and all the vulgarity it contained... at least I hope not.

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KJB7611 points · 37 min. ago

OP, YTA for being such an unsupportive and overbearing older sister.

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TheSisterInQuestion-1 points · 35 min. hours ago

She’s my younger sister. SAM, STOP COSPLAYING AS THE OLDER SIBLING.

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LPT3699 points · 34 min. ago

You could purchase a reusable applicator for her.

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PROFREEBLEED2 points · 32 min. ago

If you really cared about the environment you would let her free bleed.

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TheSisterInQuestion5 points · 20 min. ago

What the fuck is wrong with you???

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PROFREEBLEED1 point · 5 min. ago

It’s more natural and it’s a lovely movement.

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ProExterminator95005 points · 18 min. ago

INFO: if you’re really traveling exterminators, then you know how to deal with termites, right? Not to change the subject, but I’ve been trying to figure out how to repair the damage termites did to my wood deck.

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TheSisterInQuestion3 points · 14 min. ago

What kind of deck? Is it on the ground, or is it more of a balcony?

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ProExterminator95002 points · 13 min. ago

It’s more of a balcony.

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TheSisterInQuestion2 points · 10 min. ago

I’d have to see it before I can give you an answer.

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ProExterminator95001 point · 9 min. ago

But do you think 8k is too much?

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TheSisterInQuestion1 point · 8 min. ago

You already had someone out to take a look at the damage and give you an estimate?

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ProExterminator95002 points · 6 min. ago

Yeah. They said the deck isn’t too badly damaged, but there’s a beam that’s been slowly hollowed out. They won’t do anything about the beam though.

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TheSisterInQuestion2 points · 4 min. ago

You might be able to use a wood filler to repair the damage. Try calling another company and see what they say.

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CallMeSherlock2 points · 2 min. ago

At this point, I think it’s pretty clear u/TheSisterInQuestion isn’t lying about her age– she sounds like a professional exterminator. OP, YTA on every level possible.

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Notes:

We're blown away by all of your support! Thank you!

Notes:

Many thanks to spookedcroon for making the lovely wrapper we use to format these fics as reddit posts. You can find their work skin here. We have made some alterations to the CSS file to better mimic the r/AmItheAsshole subreddit light mode theme.

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