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The fight is over, Shigaraki lost. This should be cause for celebration, Izuku should be jumping in the air, screaming his joy. But he can’t scream—one perforated lung slowly fills with blood and prevents him from talking much. He can’t jump either as he doesn’t feel his legs or his arms. He can’t even use float as he is so quirk-depleted that just the idea of willing One for All forward seems too much.
Shigaraki lost, but so did Izuku.
Now, as he lays there, the unending blood spilling around him, his limbs in such weird positions, feeling life slowly draining from him, all that he can think about is that he thought he'd have more time. He thought he'd have time to see the world, to climb the rank, to buy his mom a new house, to confess his love... But he should have known better, being a hero doesn't allow for much time and his just came to an end.
It should be fine, though. He completed his quest, he got rid of All for One completely. The world is now free of his evil influence and there are more than enough heroes around to handle any villains that decide to take up from where Shigaraki left. And, even better than a bunch of heroes, Kacchan will stay behind to make sure no villain goes by unpunished.
Kacchan is amazing, so everything will be alright. Izuku can just close his eyes and—
“Izuku!” Kacchan’s voice is a lighthouse in the dark. “Stay awake! You can’t—You need to stay awake!”
“Kacchan…” he whispers, smiling despite the pain. Kacchan came for him; too bad it’s already too late.
“HELP!” Kacchan screams desperate at the destroyed battlefield. “SOMEONE HELP HERE! DEKU—”
Kacchan is amazing, Izuku thinks one more time. He doesn’t give up even when there’s nothing to do.
“It’s fine,” he tries to reassure Kacchan. He doesn’t want to leave Kacchan with any sort of guilt or regret after he’s gone. “It’s alright. You did—” A bloody cough interrupts him but Izuku keeps going. “You did everything you could.”
“No—Don’t fucking talk. There are people coming—They’ll—They’ll patch you right back up, nerd,” Kacchan says in a wavering voice as his eyes dart around Izuku’s more than beat up body. “Just breathe and—”
Izuku doesn’t want to leave Kacchan with any regrets, but he also doesn’t want to leave this world carrying regrets of his own. And there’s just one thing that he failed to do, too focused on being a hero to let himself hope. Now, however, it feels like it’s the only thing left to do so he can truly rest in peace.
“Kacchan, I—I’m sorry for… For doing this here. I—I thought that there’d be more… More time. But—” It’s hard to form the words as the blood takes up the space of the air in his lungs.
“Shut up! Just shut up, Izuku!”
There are tears falling from Kacchan’s eye into Izuku’s face. Izuku wants to clean them away, but he can’t move his arms
“There’s help coming, just keep your big dumb mouth shut and—”
Izuku’s vision is going dark. He doesn’t have a lot of time. He wishes he could obey Kacchan, but he’s going to have to rebel one last time. He hopes Kacchan forgives him one day.
“I—I love you, Kacchan…” he whispers, blood dripping from his mouth. “Always loved you… Wanted to grow old with you... Wanted to spend my whole life by.... by your side...”
And then, Izuku lets go and the world goes dark.
***
There’s a beeping sound. Weird.
Izuku’s brain languidly fights with conscience. He doesn’t want to think. He’s tired. He wants to just go back to the dark nothing, but the beeping sound doesn’t let him. The beeping pokes into his brain, forcing him to come into consciousness.
And the first thing Izuku notices is that consciousness hurts. It all hurts; muffledly, but wholly. It’s like he’s drowning in a pool of light pain. It’s weird. A part of his brain tells him it should be hurting more, but why would his brain think that?
Oh yeah, the battle. He died.
The beeping sound keeps going.
Izuku didn’t expect things to hurt during death. He also didn’t expect things to beep. And the smell… Who would have thought heaven smells like cleaning products? Like the ones they use in hospital rooms. And it has the same beeping as a hospital as well. And—
Fighting the pain, Izuku shoots his eyes open and realizes that no, he’s not in heaven. He’s in a hospital room.
Meaning, somehow, he survived.
With a groan, Izuku tries to force his brain to remember what happened. He was so sure—
There was blood everywhere. He couldn’t move. His limbs were all broken. A good portion of his arm had been disintegrated by Shigaraki. He had a perforated lung and couldn’t yell for help. Then Kacchan came and—
Realization downs on Izuku like a Gigantomachia punch.
Oh fuck.
He fucked up.
He fucked up.
He told Kacchan—
Kacchan is going to kill him!
Oh fuck—
OF FUCK HE CONFESSED TO KACCHAN!
He was dying! He should be dead! How come he's not dead?!
The beeping speeds up significantly as Izuku spirals into a panic attack.
“Oh, you’re awake!”
A nurse shows up, breaking Izuku’s line of thought. She approaches him and starts checking his vitals while talking, completely ignoring Izuku’s internal freakout.
“You gave us quite a scare, young man. We had to bring healers from overseas to work on you. Over 20 hours of surgery! Your poor mom almost had a heart attack. And then you slept for two weeks. Some people were even doubting you’d wake up at all. But your friends and teachers never gave up. We even had to have the angry blond one barred from the premises because he was harassing the staff. Your vitals are as good as we could expect. I’m going to fetch a doctor now to talk to you. Don’t go around overexerting yourself, you have no idea how much work it took to keep you alive. You better rest and let us do our jobs.”
Izuku’s head still feels filled with cotton and it’s hard to keep up with the nurse’s rapid explanations. He does understand that he came very, very close to dying, which is a good thing because it means he wasn’t being dramatic. The bad thing is that he didn't die and now has to deal with the consequences of his stupid big mouth! How will he manage to face Kacchan after this?
After the nurse leaves, a doctor comes in. And then another. And then another nurse. And someone Izuku isn’t sure about the profession. And another doctor. And a bunch of nurses. Time becomes a weird loop as health professionals from all walks of life come, probe him a bit, say a bunch of things he doesn’t truly listen to, and leave.
One of the last ones to enter his room is a serious-looking woman who brings a clipboard full of notes. She commands his attention, forcing Izuku to focus on her even though his brain just wants to go back to sleep.
“Mr. Midoriya, I’m afraid I don’t bring good news,” she says, showing him a few x-rays he assumes are from his limbs. “The amount of damage your arms and legs suffered goes beyond anything we’ve seen. There’s a big chance you’ll lose movement in them definitively.”
Izuku nods in understanding. He supposes it makes sense—he thought he’d die, losing mobility seems to be a fair price to pay for being alive. Not that it’ll make any difference, he’s pretty sure Kacchan will kill him the moment he’s able.
“To increase your chances of recovery, you’ll need to relocate to a specialized clinic as soon as possible. I’ve brought this list of institutions that are able to cater to your needs and are willing to take you in as a patient.”
The clipboard is passed on to Izuku. There are just three places listed: one in Sapporo, one in China, and one in the USA. Instantly, an idea forms inside Izuku’s head.
“Each clinic has its strengths. Of course, the one in Sapporo would be the easiest one as it’s in the country, but the Chinese clinic already has experience with a hero who suffered similar injuries and the American one has access to some cutting-edge technology that could be of great help.”
“After I choose, how soon will I go there?” he asks.
“If your other doctors confirm your case is stable, we can relocate you today,” the woman answers.
“Can I talk to my mom? I—I think she’s going to want to give my father a heads up.”
“Of course. She’s just outside, getting updates from your other doctors,” she says, already turning on her heels to fetch his mom.
***
Fourteen months. Izuku stayed in the US for fourteen months getting treated. He went through every specialist in the country, did every type of physiotherapy in existence, several surgeries, uncountable hours recovering and following the doctors’ orders.
His mother was with him the whole time, supporting him and encouraging him. All Might stayed for as long as he could too, going back and forth between Japan and the USA way too often. He couldn’t stay because he had to give support to the heroes that stayed behind to rebuild Japan, but he made sure to be as involved in Izuku’s recovery as possible.
Besides the two, Izuku didn’t have much contact with anyone from back in Japan. His friends were all busy, trying to rebuild society and at the same time finishing high school. All Might sometimes brought letters from his friends; they were always wishing him well and whining about the teachers. Izuku always felt happy to know his friends were still thinking of him, but knowing he was staying behind and would not graduate with them hurt a bit.
Another thing that hurt was the lack of letters from Kacchan. Izuku knows he shouldn’t expect them after what he’s done, but he couldn’t help feeling a bit disappointed.
Izuku has always known that confessing his feelings to Kacchan would be a sure way to kill their tentative friendship. Kacchan could barely put up with Izuku as a classmate/acquaintance; finding out about Izuku’s feelings would surely disgust him beyond belief. If he had stayed in Japan, Izuku is sure Kacchan would seriously kick his ass for dropping such a bomb on him and then not even having the decency to die.
Now, as Izuku’s wheelchair is rolled through Tokyo’s airport, all he can hope is that fourteen months were enough to quell some of Kacchan’s anger. The best-case scenario in Izuku’s mind is Kacchan pretending nothing happened, that they didn’t talk at all in the battle against Shigaraki, and they can go back to being acquaintances.
The worst-case scenario is Kacchan finishing Shigaraki’s work and getting rid of Izuku, but he’s not going to think about that.
“Are we going straight home?” he asks his mom, who is pushing his wheelchair. “I want to charge my phone so I can text Uraraka and tell her we’ve arrived.”
“Oh, I don’t think that will be necessary,” Inko answers with humor in her voice.
“Ahn—Why—”
“SURPRISE!”
There they are, all his friends, holding big, handmade signs that say “WELCOME BACK, DEKU!”. Izuku’s eyes fill with joyful tears; he knew his friends would be happy to see him return, but he didn’t expect such a warm welcome. Every one of his former classmates is there plus some teachers—Aizawa, All Might, and Nezu.
“Welcome back, Deku!” Uraraka says, giving him a warm hug.
“It’s good to see you back in Japan, Midoriya,” Todoroki says.
“I’m glad to see you’re well enough to complete your education!” Iida says, giving a gentle squeeze to his shoulder.
One by one, every one of his friends comes to greet him and offer their support now that he’s back in the country. It’s the perfect welcome home—or it’d be. There’s one person who doesn’t approach him, but Izuku is surprised to see him there at all.
Kacchan lingers in the perimeter, a deep, angry scowl on his face. He doesn’t talk to Izuku and brushes off anything other people tell him. Izuku watches him from the corner of his eye the whole time he talks to his other friends.
Maybe he’s waiting to yell at me after everyone has had the chance to greet me, Izuku thinks. Kacchan is considerate like that; he’d not rip Izuku to shreds in front of his mom. But that conclusion only filled Izuku with anxiety, because if Kacchan won’t explode on him now, why is he here? Maybe he wants to make sure Izuku won’t run away again—meaning, the “let’s forget that happened” plan won’t fly.
The angry line on Kacchan’s brow is also a good indication that he didn’t forget about Izuku’s fuck up. And that his hope that time would mellow Kacchan’s anger also didn’t come true.
After everyone had a chance to talk to him, Izuku and his mom bid them goodbye because they had a lot of unpacking to do. Iida and Uraraka grabbed the bags to take to the taxi, and just as Inko was about to push Izuku’s wheelchair out, Kacchan interrupted her.
“Let me, aunty,” he tells her, pushing towards the exit.
Instantly, Izuku’s heartbeat skyrockets and his anxiety goes off the charts. Oh fuck. What will Kacchan do? Will he roll Izuku away to yell at him in privacy? Seconds pass by too fast as they walk out the airport. Everyone around him ignores his internal freakout, talking between themselves friendly.
When they step outside, Izuku sees the rapid traffic going by and a terrifying realization dawns on him: what if Kacchan’s plan is to push him into the incoming traffic? He can say he lost the grip of Izuku’s wheelchair and kill him in front of everyone! Oh no! That was Kacchan’s plan all along!
Izuku starts to hyperventilate as they get closer and closer to the curbside. That’s it. This is how he dies. He should say something, he should—
And then a taxi pulls in and Kacchan gently stops Izuku by the passenger side.
The panic inside Izuku takes a while to subside and, when it does, he’s already sitting on the back of the taxi with his mom—and Kacchan is sitting in the front passenger seat. Izuku doesn’t understand what’s going on. Will Kacchan wait to kill him when they get home? Less witnesses? Or maybe he’ll wait until Inko gives them space to kill Izuku in complete privacy.
The drive to Musutafu goes by in a blur. Izuku doesn’t pay attention to the small talk going back and forth between his mom and Kacchan, he just acknowledges that his mom is asking Kacchan about his parents and other harmless things. When they arrive back at their old apartment, Izuku uses float and blackwhip to get in his chair as usual, and when his mother starts pushing him, for a second he dares to hope Kacchan went away.
But no, Kacchan is carrying their luggage, just a few steps behind. Maybe his plan is to drop a suitcase on Izuku’s head? Not a very refined way of killing someone, but it could work. Izuku can’t help looking over his shoulder, trying to catch Kacchan on the act. All he sees is the impressive bulge of Kacchan’s biceps as he carries the heavy load, so he turns his face back ahead and tries to calm his speeding heart. Almost getting murdered is going to be the death of him.
“Thank you so much for your help, Katsuki,” he hears his mom say as she opens the door. “Though, as I said, Izuku uses his quirk to carry stuff when needed.”
“It’s no problem, aunty,” Kacchan answers, putting the bags down by the genkan.
“Oh gosh, so much dirt. I’m going to have to clean this place top to bottom,” his mom comments on the thick dust that covers the furniture.
“I can help out,” Kacchan offers, but his mother is quick to shut that down.
“Nonsense! I’m sure you have better things to do than help an old lady clean.”
Izuku breathes in relief, thankful his mom is looking out for his survival. If Kacchan is given a mop, Izuku is sure he’d be choking on it in no time.
“Why do you and Izuku go to his room to unpack? You two can catch up then,” Inko says and Izuku throws her a betrayed look.
Really? Does she want to lose her only son? Maybe Izuku has it coming. That’s his punishment for making her leave the country for so long, for worrying his mother about his recovery. Now, Inko will make him pay by throwing him to the wolves. Or the wolf. The big, blond wolf that will bite Izuku’s head off.
“Sure,” Kacchan says, pushing Izuku’s chair again. “I’ll be black to get his suitcase. You don’t need to worry about it,” he tells Inko.
There’s no need to worry about unpacking Izuku’s things because Kacchan will kill him before he has time to use them. Kacchan probably doesn’t want to give Inko extra work. Really, Kacchan is so thoughtful. No wonder Izuku fell in love—too bad this is what’s going to get him killed.
It takes seconds for Kacchan to roll him to his room, but it’s more than enough for Izuku to go into a full-blown panic attack. Kacchan is going to kill him. He’s going to kill him for sure. There’s no way Kacchan will let him live but Izuku doesn’t want to die. He worked so hard to recover and he still has so many things to do and see; he’s not ready for death yet! He wasn’t 14 months ago and he’s even less inclined now!
His room is just as dirty as the rest of the house; the All Might figurines look dull from the dust. Izuku doesn’t have time to think about that, though. He needs to escape. Clearly, coming back to Japan was a bad idea. He needs to make a run for it before Kacchan comes back with his suitcase. Unfortunately, Izuku can’t actually make a run for it since his legs are still weak—he can make a fly for it, though.
Blackwhip extends from him and opens up the window. There’s the sound of heavy luggage being dragged in the corridor. He needs to hurry; Izuku needs to leave. There’s no time to second-guess it. He’ll think about where to go later, right now he needs to get away before Kacchan has the chance of catching him alone.
Activating float and using blackwhip to help him maneuver, Izuku goes to the window. He can fly away to safety and then he’ll think things through. All he needs is—
“What the hell are you doing?” Kacchan asks, enraged.
Izuku speeds up float, but it’s already too late. Kacchan grabs him by the ankle.
“Oh no, you’re not! You’re not running away again, you asshole!” Kacchan yells at him and forcefully pulls him back, making Izuku fall on his bed.
Before he can do anything, Kacchan slams the window shut and gets between Izuku and his only way out. This is it—this is how he dies. Oh no! There’s so much Izuku wanted to do! He wanted to graduate high school at UA! Wanted to work as a hero! Wanted to get his own line of merch!
“I can’t believe you—” Kacchan yells, setting off Izuku.
“PLEASE DON’T KILL ME!” he begs, arms protecting his face from Katsuki’s wrath. “Please, please don’t kill me! I’m so sorry! I promise I’ll never bring that up again! I promise I’ll vanish again! I’ll go to Siberia! You won’t have to see me ever again! Just please, please don’t kill me!”
Tears stream down Izuku’s face and for once, he’s not ashamed of them. He hopes they serve to soften Kacchan’s heart just a little bit—just enough to let him live.
Kacchan squints, “You think I want to kill you? Why?” Before Izuku can say anything, Kacchan huffs and continues, “You know what? Don’t answer that. It honestly makes sense, I should want to kill you after that fucking bullshit stunt you pulled!”
“I—I know,” Izuku hiccups between tears. “I shouldn’t have said anything that day. You told me to shut up but I didn’t listen and—”
Kacchan clicks his tongue, “You’re dumber than I thought. I’m not talking about the day you almost died, shithead! I’m talking about skipping the country without even talking to me! That’s the shittiest thing I’ve ever seen!”
He looks up to Kacchan, confused, “What—?”
“Don’t fucking what -me, shitty nerd! What kind of asshole does that?! Say you wanted to grow old with me and then fucking leave?! Take off out of the country? Not even saying goodbye? Hell yeah, I should want to kill you!”
Izuku feels smaller and smaller after every new word Kacchan says.
“Lucky for you, I’ve always known you’re a shitty, dumb nerd, so no surprises there,” Kacchan accuses with venom in his voice. Then, he continues a bit softer, “And I supposed I got it coming for being a shitty bully. After all the shit I pulled you through, no wonder you thought I’d react badly to your confession. Hell, I don’t even know how the fuck you fell in love with me at all. That’s some pretty messed up shit, Deku, you should see a therapist.”
“No! That’s not true! Kacchan is amazing!” Izuku protests, full of righteous anger. “What happened during middle school doesn’t matter anymore! Kacchan more than made up for it! And Kacchan is smart, strong, and handsome! Of course I’d fall in love with you!”
“I fell in love with you too, nerd,” Kacchan answers with a small smile. “Even with all the bullshit you pulled and the fact you tried to fly off through the goddamn window just now.”
“I thought you were angry with me,” Izuku pouts. “But—Wait! You love me?”
It’s like Kacchan’s words entered through his ear but his brain is still trying to process them. It doesn’t make any sense! Kacchan can’t love him! He should be trying to kill Izuku!
“You know very well I can do whatever the hell I want,” Kacchan interrupts his mumbling, sitting by Izuku’s side on the bed. “And about killing you, the jury is still out on that one. It might be looking good for you now, but if you ever run away from me again…”
“I won’t run away!” Izuku promises. “I won’t! Even if Kacchan changes his mind and decides to kill me!”
Kacchan smirks and asks, “Want to seal this promise with a kiss?”
Izuku’s eyes grow wide in surprise, but he finds the presence of mind to nod. Kacchan approaches him slowly, as if giving him time to pull away, and when their lips meet it’s soft and gentle. And it’s perfect. Izuku’s heart speeds up and his hands shake so much he brings them to Kacchan’s shoulder and grips his shirt tight to anchor himself.
“Hey, calm down,” Kacchan whispers when he pulls back, taking Izuku’s hands into his. “Your hands are still healing, right? I bet you can’t strain them like that.”
“Yeah… Sorry,” Izuku answers. “There’s a long list of things I can’t do yet. But it’s alright, I’m getting better. My doctors think I’ll be out of the chair by spring. I can already go a few steps with a walker. And for everything I still can’t do, I have blackwhip and float to help me.”
“And me,” Kacchan completes. “Now you have me to help. Don’t you go around overexerting yourself because you’re too much of a dumbass to ask for help.”
“I won’t! I’m taking my recovery very seriously!” he promises.
“Good,” Kacchan says, giving him another peck on the lips. “And about all your fancy-ass quirks. Don’t you have one that tells you when you’re in danger, about to die and shit?”
“Yes! Danger sense! The fourth’s quirk!”
“And was it going off when you thought I was going to kill you?” Kacchan asks with a pointed look that tells Izuku he already knows the answer to his question.
“No… It wasn’t,” he mumbles, ashamed.
“Clearly your quirks are smarter than you. Better listen to them instead of whatever arguments your big head created to justify me coming all the way to your home, helping you and your mother with your luggage, only to kill you.”
“Alright, Kacchan… You’re right. Kacchan is too amazing to do that.”
“Damn right I am,” Kacchan says, smirking proudly. “And now I have a boyfriend worthy of my awesomeness—Japan’s Savior, the hero who defeated All for One.”
“We’re boyfriends?!” Izuku repeats in disbelief.
“Yeah. I’m never letting you go again, nerd,” Kacchan promises, sealing it with one more kiss.
Izuku can’t help thinking that maybe he did die that day because Kacchan’s kisses feel like heaven.