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Charlie wasn’t the first one to see the email.
Nick was.
The blonde was playing Paper.io on Charlie’s phone, swearing as he failed repeatedly but always clicking restart. Inception was paused on Nick’s computer, which was sat in his lap.
Charlie was in the bathroom, leaving Nick alone with the promise of “just being a minute”. A half-eaten pizza was on the coffee table and, after Charlie’s phone informed Nick he’d died again, he was reaching for a slice when a notification swooped down into Charlie’s screen.
[email protected]
Hey I know it’s been a while but I need to…
Nick’s eyebrows jumped to his forehead. Why was Ben emailing Charlie? His first instinct was to click the notification but decided against it. Pizza long forgotten, he waited impatiently for Charlie to get back.
As much as he wanted to know what Ben said, he was worried about letting Charlie read it. For all he knew, it could be Ben-indulgent bullshit about how Charlie abandoned him.
He heard the sound of his bedroom door opening and the unmistakable voice of Charlie Spring. “Hey, sorry that took so long.”
“Don’t apologize,” Nick replied automatically. The couch bounced as Charlie sat down. He was wrapped in Nick’s jumper, curls held back with a headband because he refused to get a haircut. “Hey, before we unpause… Ben emailed you.”
Charlie’s expression blanked. “What?”
“He emailed you.” Nick offered Charlie his phone. “I was just playing Paper.io and it came in.”
Charlie looked up, a bewildered look in his eye. “What did he say?”
“I didn’t read it, I was waiting for you.”
“Oh, thanks.” Charlie clicked on his mailbox and his eyes rounded when he realized Nick was right. “No email topic.”
“Do you want me to open it?”
“I can.” Charlie opened the email but turned the phone so Nick could read over his shoulder.
Benjamin Hope October 17
to you
Hey I know it’s been a while but I need to talk to you. I’m sorry things ended the way they did. I would go back if I could but I need you to know that I never meant to hurt you. I miss you and I shouldn’t have let you say goodbye because it doesn't feel the same with other people as it did with you. I need you back and I know you want me too. Nick will never live up to what we had. Please unblock me so we can talk about this
“Wow,” Nick said, unable to come up with anything else.
“…wow,” Charlie echoed, still studying the email.
“That looked like it should’ve stayed in the drafts.”
“Yeah,” Charlie murmured. He finally looked at Nick to gauge his reaction, nerves shining in his eyes. “I didn’t email him, you know. Like, this is the first time that…”
Nick laced their hands. “I know. Do you want to write him back?”
“…yeah.”
“Yeah?”
“Just for me. I don’t want to give him the last word. He doesn’t get to do this to me anymore.” Charlie gestured to the phone. “Ben doesn’t get to push me around anymore.”
Nick felt a smile take over his face, watching Charlie. He wasn’t the scared boy he’d first met. Charlie blushed under the fond gaze.
“But let’s finish the movie first. He doesn’t get to interrupt our date.”
Nick quickly kissed the crown of Charlie’s head. “Deal.”
***
Charlie reread the email, shaking his head.
His analog clock told him it was nearly eleven pm, and Nick had just left. His blankets crinkled as he shifted on his forearms, pressing reply just to watch the cursor blink.
There was so much he never got to say to Ben, seeing as conversations with his ex wasn’t his favorite pastime. Ben still thought of Charlie as his and felt like he could pick him back up when he pleased. Charlie used to accept it, but now he was feeding an overdue fire inside himself.
How dare he. How dare Ben treat Charlie like dirt. How dare Ben crush his self-esteem for his own twisted pleasure. How dare Ben convince Charlie it was his fault. And how dare he reach out to Charlie after all this without even a half-decent apology.
Charlie had gone to therapy and he’d learned to move on. He knew revenge wouldn’t change the past or fix Ben. Revenge was just something Charlie deserved at this point, to close the door to Ben with a slam.
So he started typing.
Charlie Spring October 17
to Benjamin Hope
It's kinda funny how this turned out, right? You chasing after me because you miss me instead of the narrative you always sold of “me crawling back to you”? The thing is, I’m fine. I’m better than fine actually. Nick is way better than you ever were or could be.
You should’ve thought about it more before you let me down. You don’t have control over who I hold onto anymore. When the lights are off, and your “friends” are gone, I bet you’ll want to touch me but you’ll NEVER be able to again. And not because Nick will protect me—because I will. I will kick your teeth in if you ever try to touch me again.
It must hurt to see just out of reach but here’s the thing: I don’t care about you anymore Ben. So for gods sake get a life and stop emailing me.
Charlie didn’t think twice before clicking the blue send button.
***
Nick rubbed his hands together, trying to warm up outside the Truman school gates. He was still thinking about Sunday night with Charlie. Had he written Ben back? Had Ben threatened him? Had he actually unblocked Ben?
It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Charlie—it was that he didn’t trust Ben. But he was acknowledging that this wasn’t his fight, or rather, his email.
His thoughts cleared when Charlie rounded the corner and hurried over to him, wearing one of Tao’s beanies over his mop of curls. Dimples were carved into the sides of his mouth as he said, “Hi.”
“Hi,” Nick said, smiling back. “You seem… happy?”
“I slept well.”
“Without me? I’m offended.”
“Pfft,” Charlie dismissed, taking his hand. “I, er.. wrote Ben back last night.”
Nick watched for any sign of sadness on his face but nothing came. “Really?”
“Yeah.”
“Did it.. was it okay?”
“Yeah. I think it was a good bit of closure to tell him off.”
Nick grinned. “You told him off? Can I read the email?”
“If you want to,” Charlie said, tugging out his phone from his jean pocket. Nick wiped away condensation from the screen as Charlie spoke. “I blocked him after I sent it so he can’t write back.”
Nick’s thumb unlocked Charlie’s phone, and he clicked on mail. He glanced up at Charlie. “You sure I can read it?”
“Yeah.”
Nick glanced back down and opened the email tab ‘sent’. He read through Charlie’s paragraph and as he did, someone must’ve undone a hinge in his jaw because he couldn’t stop smiling.
“I’m so proud of you,” He said, like a dork, but he couldn’t help it! Charlie had grown and he was stronger than Ben’s words now. His boyfriend smiled, tugging at his beanie.
“Thanks. I- I just wanted to get the final word, you know? What? Why are you looking at me like that?”
Nick couldn’t help but ask, “Can I kiss you?”
“Here?” Charlie sputtered, stopping mid-step. They were just outside the school doors, a steady stream of students behind them as they entered school. Nick nodded sheepishly. “Yeah, okay.”
“Sure?”
It was Charlie’s turn to smile. “Sure.”
Nick’s hands brush Charlie’s jaw before he leans in. Their lips meet and Charlie feels warmth pooling in his stomach. Nick kisses him quickly, but he does it twice, raising a hand to Charlie’s mop of curls before pulling away.
Charlie is distantly aware that he just kissed Nick in a crowd of high schoolers, but he’s too busy smiling to care.
He could feel a pair of eyes on him like stones, so he instinctively turned. Ben was standing just inside the school, stiff where he stood. Charlie could see a sharp look in his eye that used to scare him.
Today?
He gives Ben the finger as he leans into another kiss from Nick.