Chapter Text
Kate felt numb, as she sat in the back of the taxi that a random person had called for her, every word Anthony had said ringing in her ears.
She’d known something was wrong the minute he’d appeared in her doorway, and she’d put it off, ignored it, stupidly as him being nervous to go out with her. She’d thought he’d been nervous and excited to spend time with her like she had been to spend time with him. But he hadn’t been. He’d been nervous because he’d been sure he was about to get caught out in whatever game he was playing.
Bridgerton
The minute she’d heard Aubrey Hall fall from Agatha Danbury’s lips she’d realised. As though a piece she’d been missing had clicked into place. Bridgerton. His name had sounded familiar the first time he’d said it, but she’d been so preoccupied that day, so busy, just like she always was, and she hadn’t thought about it since. All she’d thought about was him. But the moment she’d heard it she’d realised. Bridgerton. Aubrey Hall. The media empire. Their building was only about three streets away from the building that housed the Sharma Tech corporate offices, she could see the top of it from her window. Fuck, now that she thought about it: she’d done an interview once, with a Daphne Bridgerton, for some women in technology piece they were putting together. His sister, Kate realised, there was something similar in the shape of their eyes.
Her fingers felt numb when she fumbled for her phone as humiliated tears ran down her face and the cab driver’s voice seemed to come from the end of a very long tunnel.
“Sorry, what was that?” Her voice didn’t even sound like hers. It sounded like someone else’s, or maybe this was the person she really was. Tiny. Broken.
The man’s eyes darted to hers in the rearview mirror, “I said: It looked like you just wanted to get out of there, do I need to call the police to pick him up?”
Kate’s stomach swooped uncomfortably, Anthony’s face flashing in her mind for a second as she’d left him, mobbed by people on the street. “No. He’s not dangerous he just… He’s not dangerous.”
“Where can I drop you then?”
Kate was already distracted again with her original task before the driver interrupted her and the address fell from her lips before she’d even thought about it because humiliation was clinging to her and all she wanted was to be home. With people who cared about her. “9 Victoria Road, please. Kensington.”
The driver let out a low whistle and pulled off a side street to turn against traffic but Kate was barely paying attention, her thumbs already shaking as she typed Anthony Bridgerton. And her heart sank.
The front door of her childhood home slammed shut, every happy memory she’d ever had engulfing her the second she walked through it.
“Katie?” Edwina’s head appeared at the top of the stairs, her glasses sliding down her nose as she stared down at her, eyes widening in alarm and she took Kate in. “What the hell-?”
“Anthony is worth 1.8 billion pounds.” Kate took a shuddering breath, her chest still tight, her stomach lurching.
Edwina tutted sympathetically, “Did you think he was worth more? I mean… together you’re worth the better part of 10 billion pounds which is… honestly an obscene amount of money for any couple to possess.”
Kate’s eyes widened in surprise, “What?”
“As I know, you do a lot for charity and I am personally very proud of you for walking into the British museum and loudly asking if history really was for sale. Icon behaviour but-”
“Sorry, did you know Anthony was rich?”
Edwina stopped, her brow furrowing, “Yes?” The word was a long, drawn-out little thing, hanging in the air between them. “Didn’t we both know that? Didn’t you hire him for like… a cute little power play thing with your boyfriend?”
Kate reeled, “Why would I have been doing that?!”
“Rich white men do it all the time, Kate!”
Kate could feel the panic building in her chest, gripping her tightly, her breath coming in short sharp gasps as she collapsed against the stairs.
“Kate?!”
“I didn’t- I didn’t know. I thought he… I thought he liked me.”
“Mum!”
Kate could hear Mary’s hurried footsteps in the hall and the panic in Mary’s voice and suddenly everything went black.
It was nearly morning when Kate woke in the bed that had once been hers, she recognised the room almost immediately. The posters she’d hung on the wall as a teenager were still all there, the pictures of her and her Dad smiling back at her, pictures of her and Edwina as children, her and Mary, pictures on pictures on pictures of a life she’d lived. But the regret didn’t come as it usually did. Not regret. Regret wasn’t the right word. Grief was, she supposed. Grief for her father, for the life she’d had before she’d dragged him to visit her with tears in her voice and the accident had happened. But she couldn’t make herself feel it now. Something had been shifting for weeks, months maybe, ever since Anthony had walked through the door and gently nudged her in the right direction.
Anthony.
Now that was something to regret.
She slid out of bed, hearing voices in the kitchen downstairs as her stomach churned. It would be everywhere by now, there had been people videoing everything, Kate remembered that much. The whispers had started the moment they walked into the restaurant together, hand in hand and they’d grown to a dull roar by the time Kate had thrown her drink in Anthony’s face. But she almost didn’t want to know what people were saying. Didn’t want her life to be picked apart in the court of public opinion. Not while Anthony’s voice still echoed in her head.
Then I fell in love with you
No. She couldn’t let herself think about that now. She couldn’t let herself wonder if any of it had been real at all, because she’d never stop. All she’d wonder is whether he’d actually felt anything real, if she had really felt what she’d thought she was, or whether she’d been falling in love with someone who didn’t exist at all. The man she’d seen staring back at her from pictures on her phone screen last night looked like Anthony, only he didn’t. His smile hadn’t reached his eyes in any of them, not the way it had when they’d sat next to one another on the plane back to London and his hair had fallen in his eyes as he’d sat in his first class pyjamas nudging her with his elbow. This Anthony had been handsome and charming, but cold. Nothing like the man she’d known, and that’s what had set her on edge more than anything.
“We should tell her.”
“Edwina, she passed out on the stairs last night after a panic attack.” Mary hissed, “I don’t think now’s the time to be-”
“She has a right to know.”
“Tell me what?”
Her voice cracked in her chest the ragged edges tearing at her throat for a moment before she swallowed it down.
“There’s… been some news out.” Mary said gently, her eyes sad, “About what happened last night.”
“What does it say?”
“I don’t think-“
“Here.” Edwina slid her phone across the table and Kate had a brief, painful look at herself, screaming at Anthony in the middle of a crowded street, alcohol soaking into the front of his shirt. The headline catching her attention more anything.
In unsurprising news two hot rich people started dating. And it blew up for us all to see.
Kate dropped the phone back to the table as though it burned her, clearing her throat to dislodge the lump in her throat. “I’ll… call someone about it. It’s fine. It was funny, in hindsight, and I did make a bit of a scene.”
Mary watched her carefully for a long moment before she leaned forward, wrapping her arms around Kate’s chest tightly. “That’s not true. Well, you did make a bit of a scene but I don’t think you thought it was funny.”
Kate let out a watery chuckle sinking further into her mother’s embrace, letting herself be held properly for the first time years, it felt like. “No, not very funny.” Silence rang through the room for a long moment before it fell from her lips, a tiny, hurt little sound as tears started falling down her cheeks. “I just… I thought he actually liked me. And maybe he did. It I just… I feel so fucking stupid and I don’t think anything he told me was real.”
Mary made a soothing noise, her fingers running through Kate’s hair. “If he doesn’t like you then he’s not worth it.”
“I think I was just so lonely.” It was pouring out of her helplessly now. All she could do was stand back and watch it happen as though it wasn’t her at all. As though she were someone else, taking pity on this poor person. “I feel like everything I do is disappointing or Dad would do things differently. and I don’t want to watch you be disappointed in me, I can’t and I just feel so lonely, all the time. I’m so lonely I didn’t want to see how nothing about Anthony made sense because he was interested in me, I thought. But now I just think it was a game.”
Mary pulled back, her hand tilting Kate’s chin up so she was forced to look her in the eye and when she spoke her voice shook with emotion. “I am so proud of you, all day every day. Nothing you could do would ever disappoint me. Do you understand?”
Kate took a shuddering breath, nodding, “I want to do better.”
“There’s nothing to do better, Darling. You went through something awful, we all did, and your father would be so sorry this happened to you but I know he’s so proud of you.”
Months ago, Kate would never have believed her, but now she did, and she was ‘t sure what had changed, but she’d felt it, recently. The pride in her chest flickered to life when she looked at her picture next to her father’s. His name on a list next to hers. She was proud of what she’d done, for their family, for the company he had started from nothing. And she still felt the loss, she would feel that forever, but it no longer felt as though she were drowning in shoes too big to fill.
“This is just such a mess.” A movement over Mary’s shoulder caught Kate’s attention, Edwina typing furiously on her phone. “what are you doing?”
Edwina shrugged, “I’m just sliding into Anthony’s DM’s. Telling him what a prick I think he is.”
“Don’t.” Kate sighed, falling into the chair at the kitchen table. “He… lied but I don’t… think he meant it to be so hurtful.”
“He should have told you.”
“He should have.” Kate agreed. Closing her eyes as she swallowed and opening them immediately as she saw his face reflected back at her behind her eyelids. As though his image was burned into them. “But if I never see him again, I’ll be satisfied.”
“I’ll make you breakfast.” Mary kissed the top of her head. “You’re staying here tonight.”
And finally, it felt like home again. Even with the hole in her chest.
“We’ve got a little bit of a problem.”
Kate groaned at the sound of Sophie’s voice, loitering in the doorway, her heart already pounding in her chest. “Sorry, when do we not have a problem these days?”
It had been manic ever since those first few articles had broken, reporter after reporter calling for comment and her phone ringing twice an hour, every hour, Anthony’s name lighting the screen until she’d been forced to block his number completely, her chest aching in her chest as she did it. She’d stared at the pictures of them together, more and more surfacing every day: Them in Hong Kong. Photos of the two of them walking down the street, their shoulders brushing and she remembered the way her heart had hammered in her chest and her stomach had lurched. There were even photos of the two of them at that pub.; Her legs around his waist as he’d pressed her against the car and their lips had clashed furiously. And finally, picture after picture of them that night. Someone had even captured the moment she’d thrown the drink in his face. There was a video, even that had been looped and remixed and posted in a thousand different places and seemed to follow her everywhere.
Photographers had mobbed the front of the building as her car pulled up, voices clamouring over one another as the security team waded through to shepherd her inside.
Kate!
Kate!
How long have you been seeing Anthony?!
What did Anthony lie about?
Are you going to take him back?
“Kate won’t be answering any questions this morning.” Sophie’s voice was firm as Kate stepped inside, the glass doors shining shut behind her, and Kate had hardly been able to look at her, as she fell back into her role.
“Please don’t say anything.”
Sophie shrugged, “I just figured you knew and didn’t care.”
“I didn’t,” Kate said bluntly, her teeth biting into her lip, the tiny wave of humiliation returning. “I just… I didn’t.”
Sophie nodded understandingly, bustling into the bullpen as the door opened, “Well, I’ll have security revoke his clearance and issue a firm no comment for anyone asking. Do I need to get you anything else?”
Kate shook her head, thankful for Sophie moving on, not asking any questions, even as people all around them whispered as they passed.
But even so, Kate hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him, not in weeks. Not as she’d told the doorman of her building that Anthony was not to be let inside while photographers looked on for any signs that he would try. Not as she’d stared at those photos, not even now. Staring down at the papers on her desk, her pen held aloft.
Sophie gave Kate a slightly sympathetic look before her eyes narrowed for a moment, as though she wasn’t quite sure how to say what she had to. “This is… a slightly bigger problem.”
Kate’s stomach churned, “How big?”
Sophie cast a slightly guilty look at Kate before she dropped her phone on the table, “This is… the lobby downstairs.”
Kate’s mouth fell open in surprise as she stared at the screen, something slightly horrified rising in her chest along with the panic as she watched Anthony attempt to scramble over a security guard several inches taller than he was.
“I just want to talk to Kate!” He said desperately, his hair falling in his eyes, “I just- You guys know me! Come on! I’m not going to hurt her, I just- I just want to talk to her! Please! Kate! Kate!”
Tears pricked in Kate’s eyes as she stared at him, his eyes desperate, his clothes rumpled, dark circles under his eyes as cameras flashed through the grass behind him. “Sophie, you have to stop him. He’s going to get hurt.”
Her voice was a tiny, broken thing again as she stared down at him, something in her aching to go to him, but she couldn’t. She couldn’t, surely, even if she was desperate to know why he’d done all of this in the first place. Desperate to know if he was really the person she had thought he was, or if that was another lie.
“I have tried to get him to leave,” Sophie said quietly, peering out the window at the crowd assembling on the street outside. “He won’t leave until he sees you. He says he has something for you.”
Kate’s stomach churned, “I don’t want it, whatever it is.”
“That’s… fair enough,” Sophie winced, glancing at the screen, “But he won’t leave and they’re about to put him in a headlock.”
Kate gritted her teeth, anxiety clawing at her stomach as she sighed, getting to her feet. “Right. Tell them I’m coming down, and tell them to take him out of the headlock, he’s not dangerous and they know it.”
She didn’t say anything as they rode the lift down, her fingernails biting into her palms as she counted the seconds, focusing on that, rather than the task ahead. Focusing on keeping her shoulders square and her head tilted proudly as the doors opened into the chaos of the lobby.
There were cameras flashing everywhere, reflecting off the glass as they spilled inside while security was distracted with Anthony who was squirming under the arm of a muscled security guard, his face turning bright red.
“Let him go.” Her voice was stronger than she’d thought it would be as she crossed her arms over her chest, looking at Anthony’s sneakers squeaking across the marble floor rather than his eyes as they released him.
“Kate-”
“Please, go, Anthony.”
His voice was cracking, hoarse as he tried to dart forward even as security blocked his way again. “Kate, please just listen to me.”
“I don’t think there’s anything for us to say, Anthony.”
“Can you please just look at me?” He sounded so desperate, so unlike the person she’d known, and it was that more than anything that drew her eyes to him.
His hair was sticking up in a hundred different directions, his sweater stretched a little out of shape and his shoulders heaved and something in her broke.
“You don’t work here, any longer Anthony.”
Anthony sighed, “I know you hate me, and I know I should have told you the truth, Kate. But I-“ He cut himself off, the muscle in his jaw clenching firmly as he took a deep breath, “When my Dad died, it felt as though everyone wanted something from me. Something I didn’t know how to give them, so I didn’t give them anything, I couldn’t and then I met you and you… you had no idea who I was.”
Kate’s cheeks burned, mortification sinking even deeper into her bones than it already had but she forced herself to stand there and listen to him, as though she were transfixed. “If this is going to be an apology, you aren’t doing a great job so far.”
“I don’t mean to embarrass you, I… fucking loved that you had no idea who I was. Haven’t you wished you could be someone else? Since all of this happened to you? Just for one day, you could be someone else. Someone that found something they were good at.” Anthony’s eyes were fixed on hers, wide, begging her to understand, and the odd part was: she did. She knew what that felt like, to want to find a place out of the shadows.
“You gave that to me, Kate. I loved looking after you and I couldn’t stay away from you. I know you don’t want to hear it, I know you think it’s an excuse but I loved you. I fell in love with you and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you who I was. I just… I liked who you thought I was more.”
Kate could hardly breathe as tears stung her eyes and she stared back at him with her shoulders heaving. “I don’t… I don’t think I know anything about you.”
“Everything I told you was real. I came to work every day and I worked as your assistant and I… You taught me so much about myself and I will… treasure this time we had together.”
Everyone was staring at them, their eyes burning into them as they stood just feet apart, the security guards standing helplessly between them.
“I… Sorry.” Kate cleared her throat, “I can’t do this. I think you should leave.”
Anthony nodded slowly, throwing his hands up, “I had to try.” He turned back, leaning down to pick up a box from behind him, a red bow tied around it. “I got this for you.”
Kate stared at it, her heart hammering in her chest. “I don’t want it, thank you.”
Anthony sighed, setting it down at her feet. “I… need to know someone’s looking after you. If it can’t be me, maybe it’ll be him.”
Yip!
Kate startled at the noise as the box moved, something scratching to get out as she knelt in front of it, her curiosity getting the better of her. Her hand shook as it reached out towards the box, tugging the lid free and her heart stopped. A tiny puppy stared up at her, grinning happily with his tongue lolling out, his stumpy little tail wagging delightedly as he leapt out on his short little legs right into her arms.
He’d remembered. Anthony remembered one tiny conversation they’d had, stopped on the side of the road. He’d remembered how happy it had made her, how much she’d said she wanted this, and it shouldn’t matter. It shouldn’t mean anything different, but for some reason, it did.
“Anthony!”
His sneakers squeaked to a stop, as he turned back and it seemed as though every single person was holding their breath as she swept towards him and her hand closed around his wrist as she dragged him down until their lips crashed together.
She couldn’t hear anything, though it was clear the entire room had erupted around them. All she could hear was the pounding of her pulse in her ears and all she could feel was her lips on his and the gasp of his breath against her.
Anthony’s forehead fell against hers as he pulled back his shoulders heaving. “I meant what I said: I’m falling in love with you. I think I’m already there, honestly.”
“You can’t just… get me a puppy and think that makes it okay.”
Anthony nodded, “I know I hurt you, I know you opened up to me and you feel like I didn’t do the same but I will do anything to show you that you can trust me.”
Kate nodded against him, letting her nose nuzzle against his, “Just… tell me everything, from now on. I just need to know you’re the same person I fell in love with.”
Anthony took a shuddering breath stepping back suddenly, scratching the wriggling puppy behind the ear before he thrust his hand out for her to take. His hand was warm, comforting in hers as he shook it gently, her eyes smiling just like she’d been afraid they wouldn’t any longer. “I’m Anthony Bridgerton. My family owns Aubrey Hall, the media company, and I’m finally taking steps towards where I want to be. I like the colour blue and I… would have said I didn’t like dogs until 3 days ago but this guy is my little buddy so we might have to work out a custody agreement, and on the way over here I drank a Pepsi, and-”
Kate cleared her throat, fighting a smile as she cut him off. “Hi Anthony, I’m Kate. Are you interested in some temp work by any chance? My old assistant kind of ran off on me.”
Anthony laughed, the noise echoing off the marble of the lobby as cameras flashed, “I heard he was a bit of a prick.”
Kate shrugged something happy and carefree bubbling in her chest. “He was better than he gave himself credit for.”
And this time, when their lips met, it felt like home.