Archive of Our Own ^beta

There is a place, out in the wilds where the trees greet the sky and the sky returns generously in kindness. 

There is a place, where the mythics understand the earth, and the earth blesses the good.

There is a place, where the moon has given the power to judge and discern over the land, and the beasts in turn learn to tend for all they are left over.

And in this place, there is a legend.

Of a wolf so anguished with this burden, he haunts the darkest places of this place, drowned in a madness of misguided intentions and murderous bloodlust.

A wolf so fierce, he is more than a beast of the moon.

He is a demon.

And anyone who dare cross him, be damned.

🌑

Chan was always sure of who he was. From the moment his paws hit the ground running and his milk teeth fell out, he knew. 

“The strength of the pack is the wolf,” it rang in his ears like a chorus, a mantra of sorts that he could perhaps trace to the sound of his mother, or whatever was left of her in his memory, “And the strength of the wolf is the pack.”

It was singing on a loop through his mind, and in a way it grounded him, as the other wolf threw him across the faded circle in the sand, near the feet of his pack members.

"Get up!"

"Agh, get him Chan-ah!"

"For the throat, go for the throat!"

"Come on, Changbin-ah, come on!"

"Chang-bin! Chang-bin!"

"Ah, what's that scrawny thing against our Channie?"

"What scrawny thing! Not our Changbin!"

"Well he's certainly a hellish looking wolf!"

"Changbin! Changbin!"

The other wolf in the ring was terrifying to look at, Chan could attest. Changbin was unlike any other wolf he'd seen– although, admittedly, he hadn't seen many other wolves outside his pack. Changbin had flaring red eyes and a dark coat that made it hard to distinguish his fur from his shadow. Chan should have been scared, he knew he should have been. But he felt… curious. There was something in Changbin's eyes…

"Yah, get him!"

"Aye, what was that?!"

Chan dodged to the side as Changbin snapped at him, mentally raising an eyebrow. It wasn't very skillful– Changbin was powerful and strong, but clumsily so. There was nothing coordinated or strategic about the way he moved. He just threw his weight into everything.

Chan sidestepped and lunged from the side again, nipping Changbin's back ankle. The other wolf bit back a howl, and instead turned to lunge again at Chan, only to miss again and skid to the edge of the circle.

The two packs gathered around hissed and cheered. Chan knew what this was for. Jaebum had been musing about a pack alliance for several hunts now, and after many hushed meetings with JInhwan, they had decided on a friendly competition between their youngest and strongest hunters.

The next leaders of the pack, that they saw through their blooming strength and the passion in their eyes.

Not the leaders to succeed the current alphas, but the ones who'd grow into the role within two generations.

It was an honor, Chan knew.

His mind knew, at least.

His heart wasn't so sure.

Changbin leapt from a pace away, and as his shadow propelled, Chan jumped up to meet him.

He knew how this was supposed to end– an excess of blood, one wolf no longer the warrior, no longer a rising leader, no longer a threat to undermine the alliance. One clear pack leadership over the other.

A clashing of teeth and claws, snarling and bated breaths all around.

But Chan wasn't one for rules.

The struggle was close, the wolves whispered, the dirt thrown up from the ground in a cloud.

And then, the dust settled. 

One wolf atop the other.

Chan's paw on Changbin's muzzle.

Victory.

No one said anything. One of the pack leaders, of the defeated wolf, was to declare a winner, but it was the strangest end to a fight ever. Chan wasn't even baring his teeth. 

He waited for a moment, looking between Jaebum and Jinhwan, and when they made no movement to declare a winner, he stepped off Changbin and stood by his head. 

Changbin shook his head, rolling up to stand. He had a clear question in his eye, over how he was allowed to even be standing, much less breathing and relatively unharmed.

Perhaps it was the playful glimmer in Chan's eyes, but Changbin understood quickly.

Call it respect, or fear, or perhaps a healthy dash of both in astounded awe.

Changbin bowed his head down to Chan's paws. 

Complete submission. 

The packs turned to the two alphas, Jaebum with a smug knowing look, and Jinhwan with a stunned one.

"We… have our winner," Jinhwan's voice boomed uncertainly, and then more definitively, "Bang Chan, the respect of my pack to you and your wolves."

Chan startled, shifting from paw to paw at the bold praise and Jaebum's proud look, a look he wasn't used to. 

Jinhwan turned and bowed to Jaebum, who bowed just as deeply on return.

"Consider our alliance secured."

"Then," Jaebum raised his head first, "Let us feast!"

As the packs converged in celebration, Chan shifted to his two feet, and offered a hand as Changbin did the same.

"You… why did you do that?" Changbin asked, his face to the ground, unwilling to meet Chan's gaze, however kind it was.

"Because," Chan pulled him up, and left the explanation at that.

In his mind it needed nothing more– what was the purpose of belittling and eliminating a worthy ally for the sake of creating an offset of respect through nothing but fear and power? Chan had tried thinking through it the way he had been taught, and even then it boiled down to the simplest truth of any wolf pack: the wolf in the pack, the pack with the wolf. 

So leaving it for what it was, was the best explanation he could offer.

It was one that Changbin seemed to not take well, bowing low and remaining hunched over. 

This wouldn't do, Chan thought, remembering the pack and the wolf and again, the pack.

"You're a good fighter, a great one," Chan admitted, "I would be loath to not have you at full strength at my side."

Changbin looked up to meet Chan's kind gaze, eyes filled with awe. It might not have been what any wolf was used to, but it was the only way Chan would fight. If they valued him, the pack and everyone else learned to abide by it.

Filled with respect, Changbin bowed one last time, before allowing Chan to pull him up to full-standing posture.

"No more of that," Chan smiled, "Let's eat, hm?"

“Hyung!”

In the blink of an eye, a pup half Changbin’s size flung himself at Chan, and the older wolf laughed and swung him up on his shoulders. 

“Ah, my Innie! Don’t you know the trouble little ones get in for stepping foot in a fighting circle?”

“Don’t care! Hyung will protect me!”

“Tsk, still as arrogant as ever– what am I going to do with you?”

“Eat me! Boil me alive!”

In a half tumble, Chan forgot the whole fight. 

Because he knew what a wolf was. What sort of wolf he was.

All the sweat and strain of the fight was drained in a single laughter, his little brother clinging to his neck and holding the world. 

The wolf. The pack. It was right here.

Changbin stood awkwardly to the side as Chan flipped the young one over, so that his head nearly hit the ground, and pretended to start eating his stomach. It would have been alarming, except that the boy was laughing himself silly, red-faced and loose-limbed and as far away from concern as possible. Changbin felt out of his element… in his pack, wolves were separated from pups as soon as they were able to hunt. He had assumed it was similar in Chan’s pack as well, given the way the pups cornered in one area with their mothers and the nurses, while most other wolves had remained in the best possible view of the fight.

The elders of the pack, up to the alpha himself, did not trouble themselves with the pups. And then pups didn’t dare get themselves underfoot of wolves with great purpose. 

And yet–

“Come, come,” Chan motioned with his head, Jeongin still a bramble of limbs in his arms, “The grand hall is quite the celebration, you don’t want to get lost in the bustle of everything– come, come! I won’t leave you to fend for yourself, haha, don’t worry!”

Another oddity. As soon as they entered the hall, old and tall with the wood carved with the history of generations, it was clear where Changbin should sit. Jinhwan and Jaebum sat in the center, their best warriors gathered around, and then those training around them, each in overlapping circles around a basket of food. On the fringes of the company, were the very old, the very sick, and the very young.

In Changbin's pack, they wouldn't have even been dragged out to such an occasion ordinarily… but then again there was nothing ordinary about this.

His pack was essentially falling under Chan's. Being conquered. There was no sugar-coating it. The less powerful under the greater. Changbin kept his head low and followed Chan.

It had never even crossed Chan's mind that Changbin had somehow become inferior to him. Little wolf in his arms, he bypassed sitting at Jaebum's right hand to find the little corner of wolves he called his own.

Changbin had been expecting to be introduced to the great pack warriors, bur instead–

"One of our most adept young healers, Nayeon," Chan pointed out the shy wolf feeding a newborn in the corner, "She looks sweet and shy but she could kill you in one meal, I swear it."

"Our Minjun," he pointed to the next wolf, whose wrists were slashed and hands useless, but would recall the history of the pack in song, with the voice of the moon herself.

And then "Soojin, who ran away twice," and little Yuna, "the prankster," and her friend with a mottled birthmark over his face "Jaemin, who could challenge Jaebum if he wasn't so kind," although Chan never clarified what exactly that meant, nor did he specify what Jaemin being able to "scale cliff sides with his bare hands" had any importance to as a wolf, but it was important enough to Chan that Changbin respectfully listened and learned all he could.

“Soojin, how is the training with the pups going?”

“As well as you can imagine. Well, even better actually– I got Innie to charge me, finally.”

“Noona…”

“Ah, you cutie! It’s a shame you can’t stay young forever…”

“I heard baby Jiwoo is giving you a run for your little legs, Jeongin-ah!”

“Hyung, they’re teasing me…”

“Hey, hey, leave Innie alone! I wasn’t much of a fighter either, you know that–”

“Don’t start oppa, we all know you kicked death itself in the face!”

“I did not!”

“Right, right, the pup who lived, go ahead and tell us how you’re just a humble nobody.”

Changbin watched intently as Chan clicked his tongue, holding Jeongin close to his chest and feeding him little bits of the hunt, and taking the best bits of fruits that Minjin had handed him, and cutting it up for Jeongin and the other little pups that had run up to him to enjoy. 

There was a blush, but perhaps it was just the cast of light, that made Chan distract himself in the task of feeding Jeongin. 

A wolf from Jaebum's right hand came at one point, bending to whisper in Chan's ear–

"Not now Youngjae."

"But–"

"I am introducing Changbin to the pack."

"It isn't done."

Chan turned and gave Youngjae a glare, a burning, scary thing. Changbin didn't understand it, but Youngjae stood away, recoiling in clear respect.

A few moments later, he was gone. Nayeon chuckled under her breath.

"It never ceases to make me laugh."

"Mm glad to be of amusement, noona."

"You know what else would be of amusement?"

"Oh shut it."

But once Jeongin turned away haughtily and chased after one of his friends, Chan was left at the mercy of his friends’ good natured laughing. Even Changbin couldn’t help himself, when Jaemin detailed times Chan had landed himself with fever for trying to wade to the bottom of the lake trying to fetch a pebble one of the young ones had lost, or better yet, when he’d taken the fall for stealing Nayeon’s fresh buns when it had actually been Yuna and Jiwoo’s little fingers that had nibbled away at it like little mice. 

But Changbin laughed because he’d never heard of anything so selflessly absurd. So innocently charming. 

“I am a nobody,” Chan whispered, in a tone that made Changbin feel like he was the only one who understood, “What’s a little strength in the face of good and not?”

Next to him, Yuna, smaller and tinier than Jeongin, but with wide eyes that never missed anything, caught onto the same thing Changbin had. 

“Oppa?” she whispered sadly, reverently naive, “Why are you so sad? I don’t like it when you’re sad, you know I don’t, Jeongin says it makes him sad too, and I think he’s very smart, please don’t be sad.”

Chan laughed it off lightly, and pulled her into his arms, tickling her belly and brushing her hair aside, “Ah, don’t you worry, pup. I was only thinking about how Changbin here might take my place in this pack?”

“Oh?” she turned her wide eyes curiously to him, “What for?”

“Fighting all our silly monsters,” a light twinkled in Chan’s eyes, “I heard some of the noonas from your pack before the fight, forgive me Changbin, but what is this story I’ve heard about a sparrow shifter and wolf scared of ghosts, but not more so than his fear of wolves smaller and cuter than him, hm? Tell us, Chanbin-ah, I want to know of this curious wolf.”

“Oh hysterical,” Changbin rolled his eyes, but then landed on Jeongin, who had been cautiously watching them from the side, and with a mildly amused expression, hunched over the table like a ghost story. 

It was a feeling of doing something he hadn’t done in a lifetime.

The circle around Chan laughed a little more than the rest of the hall, and didn't pound their chests and chant like warriors every now and again when the need arose, but they were no less wolves in the way they howled in harmony and laughed in the hearty tone of family. There were no outrageous acts of pride, no one-upping and demeaning, only the bliss and timelessness of blood, around a warm hearth and motherly love.

Even if Changbin knew in his heart that Chan was only indulging him in the effort to make him feel welcome and comfortable–

“You did what with a fern?!”

“Innie stop making faces!”

“This is only because Chan is a fool for puppy eyes!”

“Wait, what have I got to do with this?”

“Oh this is interesting…”

“...You’ll not get me in a fight with that, don’t get cocky now.”

“Ah, but who’s to say I shan’t have Jeongin on my back, my secret weapon?”

“Oh, he’d never–”

“Yeah!”

“Innie!”

When the dinner finished, Changbin was pulled back into the circle of his own pack’s warriors, Chanwoo elbowing him none too discreetly, a raised eyebrow and low voice coloring his usual bursting personality with confusion. 

“Why weren’t you at Jinhwan or Jaebum’s side? Where were you and Chan? Did he try to intimidate you? Scare you?”

Although Changbin had never doubted his fellow warrior’s intentions, something buckled in confusion in retaliation, “What? No, of course not, why would you think that?”

Chanwoo blinked with as neutral a face as he could muster, before seriously inclining his head forward, “I speak only on tradition, Changbin, you know this… Jaebum spoke highly of Chan, saying how he would lead all wolf packs to keep the men, and all the creatures on this planet from ever daring to go against the wolf again. He sounds… ruthless. If you are to stay here–”

“I will be fine,” he interrupted briskly, finding the need to defend Chan all of a sudden from accusations never made, “Chan is better than a fine warrior, you have nothing to fear.”

“What? What do you mean?”

“He is a good wolf,” and then something in him flared rebelliously, the side that remembered a time before the wolf and the pack, “But more than that–”

His eyes burned as he turned to Chanwoo, “He’s a good man.”

They went on a hunt together. 

Not intentionally, it just sort of happened, when it was decided that Changbin stay in Chan's pack as a ward, a learner of sorts, but also a promise to Jinhwan’s pack that their alliance was as solid as stone. It was early, in the uncertain days of the alliance. They needed these sorts of things to ensure that bloodshed didn't occur.

He followed a pace behind where Jeabum led Chan to the edge of their territory, where the land sloped and bent through the mountains, to the uncertain edges of their territory. This is where anything could happen, where the little ones were warned to keep away from, because the creatures they found here could not be known to be wolves. It was a place to kill or be killed. 

Shifting, Jaebum stood on the ridge, "You know what the wolf is, Changbin-ah?"

Glancing at Chan, Changbin shook his snout. Even if he knew the answer ot was meant to taught, not known.

"The wolf is the god of this earth, the strength of the forest and the blessing of the moon," it was an old poem he recited, but he said it like his own father had written it in the stars, "It rests with them to care for all other peoples, to balance the scales when one tries to overtake another."

Jaebum had always told Chan that this was where his mother had died, and where he had been left to die. His mother's body had had– the horrid scratches across her fur led him to believe whatever horrors Jaebum wanted to tell him. 

Changbin shielded his eyes from the sun, and spotted the cleared areas of trees, where columns of smoke rose up, and evidence of where the land had been carved into.

"Fae? Witches?" His eyes went wide, "Vampires?"

All were at odds with wolves. The fae rarely respected their territories, but were weaker, easily crushed. Witches were cruel, but vampires were worse. Twisted and perverted creations, selfish in their pursuits and convoluted in their power. Nothing to fear, of course, because each had a weakness. Weakness, something a wolf could not comprehend except in youth or old age. But even then, it was a small thing to subdue these creatures.

They fell below the wolf pack, but not lower than the creatures that had no great power, but crawled and clawed and decimated for power.

"No, not those," Jaebum scowled, "Human."

Changbin shivered. Chan sat in his wolf form, surveying just beyond the ridge, where Jaebum had always demanded he never venture, except with other wolves.

"There is nothing to redeem about men," Jaebum whispered harshly, "Chan can tell you. If you ever see one in this area, you take it down. They've taken enough of our old and young ones, senseless and needlessly. Now, come away from here," his face hardened, "even the air feels twisted."

Chan knew this area well, better than Jaebum would suspect. In secret.

"We only patrol briefly to make sure they stay far away," Jaebum explained, sparing one last glance at the smoke in the horizon, "They are worthy of nothing more than a brief glance… if anything at all." 

Chan looked away. He'd done it. On his "moods," as Soojin had started calling them, when he needed space to think and would go on long walks. Enough years of doing it let him lose the concerned tails of packmates who would make sure he wouldn't go on a rage and rampage through the wildlife.

It was then that he'd stumbled upon tiny crying forms in the forest.

"We've found many orphaned pups here," Jaebum continued, "Chan could tell you that too. Horrid, how man would have the heart to do such a thing."

He hadn't told Jaebum exactly, but he had never been sure, from the three pups he'd found, that any of them had been wolves. He'd only known they were alone and hurting, and that he knew nowhere safer except his packhome to bring them. 

Jeongin, Ayaka, and recently, little Jiwoo.

Only Ayaka had been found, pink and trembling as a pup. 

Chan had found Jeongin by a dead wolf he hadn't recognized, covered in the wolf's scent but smelling undoubtedly odd. Jiwoo hadn't even smelled remotely wolvish, she'd only had the sort of furs Chan recognized on the packhouse pups, and hadn't thought any further.

Why did it matter? They were all cold and crying when he'd found them. 

In his mind, there was no difference between creatures when they were in as helpless a state as abandoned little ones.

It was here that he knew Jaebum was wrong about this one thing– but he would never speak a word against Jaebum’s teachings. 

For all Jaebum’s praising, Chan was no great leader. He couldn’t boldly stand on his convications, like an alpha ought to. He might have had the illusion of power, the build of a warrior and the resolve of someone mighty.

But he was never much more than a coward.

He knew it when he thought about it in the late nights where he was pressed between Jeongin and Minjun, drying her tears when she couldn’t do it herself, and holding him close when the Terrors came for him in his dreams. 

Chan could only bear to wait a few moments longer on the ridge, before he too shifted, and followed into the shrubbery. Changbin waited by the fallen oaks, a curious tilt to his head. In this light, Chan could see the red in this wolf’s eyes, and it scared and reminded him… the wolf. 

The power of the moon. 

A dark voice whispered and echoed from Changbin’s eyes, 

A scourge upon the world. 

He shook it off like a morning dew, nipping at Changbin’s heels before breaking out into a light run. The wind whipped and howled in his ears, and iced his thoughts over, frozen. 

The wolf, the wolf. 

But more importantly, the werewolf…

A shifter with a soul from the moon, the fire of the suns.

Was part man.

It started like this:

A wolf turned up dead at the front of the packhouse. 

Grizzled with knife marks, clear bootprints leading away. 

Changbin felt cold. 

"Did no one catch the murderer? That slinking man, who does he think he is?!"

"Perhaps he didn't appear to be a man… perhaps he appeared as a wolf in his coats…"

"Or perhaps," a more sinister whisper rippled through, "He was hidden among us. An enemy hiding as a friend."

Again, that piercing cold made him turn and run like a coward back to the dens, where the warriors slept. Not Chan, but Changbin needed to concern himself with his standings with the whole pack now, not just one wolf. He kept a closer ear to Jaebum's beliefs.

"I want the half-bloods checked," he'd murmur to his council, the warriors all listening intently from the side, "I don't doubt their integrity, but even slightly misguided principals can cause them to be led astray."

It was innocent enough at first.

"And the young ones, I want them checked. We've taken in plenty of strays. Even shifters– I don't think we'd have fairies or other mythics within us. Any young witchlings and vampires," Jaebum's voice dropped low, "the river."

He was hidden in the rafters when he overheard this, and he frowned at the mumbled instruction, wondering if he'd misheard. The river?

"What are you thinking so hard about?" Chan elbowed him while weaving one of the straw hats for the little ones to wear as they ran in the sun.

The little ones who hadn't learned to shift into their wolf forms yet, and still bore the wrath of the sun.

The just wrath, Jaebum's voice whispered.

"Nothing," Changbin forced himself to look away from Jeongin, taller than the rest of his friends and several steps quicker, "I need to train."

Chan stilled, "More? You've trained all day…"

"Yes, more."

"...Changbin, there's more to being a great warrior than just–"

"I'll be out with Youngjae's hunt. I want to see how they train young Seungmin."

"Changbin–"

Whatever was on Chan's tongue was swept into the wind. Changbin was running too fast. He didn't want to hear. 

Or maybe he did, but he needed it to wait just a little longer.

He had to be sure.

The caution turned to fear when a pup had turned up. Dead.

Ayaka, fallen from the highest balcony onto the ground. Changbin discovered it by Nayeon's wailing over the small frail form. He hadn't seen Chan– he had been whisked away and held under trial. 

He was tasked to keep Nayeon from harming herself in agony, and heard her wail, "But why her? She has done nothing wrong against either the earth or the moon, why her?"

To steel himself, and settle his mind, he kept in correspondence with Chanwoo. A familiar wolf from familiar places.

"My head is always hurting, and fuzzy," he would complain, just like old times.

Chanwoo tried to be in good spirits for him, "You must fight them out. Train so hard they have no place in your body."

He was only half joking. Changbin took his words as gospel and sparred with Youngjae often. He would win and lose. Chan would watch him from afar, and Changbin would wonder when they would both be able to fight again. To train.

Maybe never.

Maybe Chan knew. 

It twisted in Youngjae's mouth, "A good, learning wolf, too. She was quick in learning the ways of the wolf, quicker in growing into a great one. Tsk, the work of someone scared of retribution. Heartless as only a man could be."

Changbin wanted to wring someone's neck, and he wasn't sure why. 

"What shall we do with those we suspect?"

"We've found empathizers."

"There are those who do not mourn the pup's death."

Jaebum's gaze turned dark, "Then they have no place among us, and no good intentions on this earth."

The warriors of the den were forced to watch. Changbin had no sympathy for the wolves who dragged, scowling and screaming, black teethed and raging about Ayaka's death being justice.

They spit at Chan's feet.

Chan didn't bend to wipe it off.

When the council took their knives out, only Changbin and Chan averted their eyes.

It seemed a small decency.

Chan was taken away and Changbin did not see him for several nights. Not that he was really looking.

"Nayeon found the execution rather–"

"She is far too kind. Kindness is what delivered us this mess."

"Jaebum. Alpha. You haven't told us about the young ones we suspect who are… not wolves."

"The river. Or the knife. Be discerning."

"And wolves who aren't natural?"

Changbin nearly gave away his position behind the bookshelf at the voice of Jinhwan. The packs had all come together over these occurrences– it was an attack on the werewolf kind after all. 

It wasn't Jinhwan's presence that alarmed him.

It was the question.

"Meaning?"

"Turned. Cursed. Otherwise created to the werewolf."

Jaebum was quiet for a moment, but when he spoke, his voice was stern as stone, "That sounds like a stipulation from an empathizer."

"What–?"

"Only wolves who think too highly of men would suggest such a thing."

"Tsk, don't be daft. I am your friend. I am only bringing up a reasonable problem you will find among wolfkind, that is all."

"...what are they at heart? In soul?"

Jinhwan didn't say anything.

So Jaebum did, "There, you have your answer."

It was only when Jinhwan left, Chanwoo at his side, that Changbin felt the long coming sense of dread overwhelm him.

When Jinhwan instructed, "Do not meet with Changbin any longer."

A shiver of cold. The implications were clear in Changbin's mind.

Changbin did not sleep with the warriors that night. Instead he curled up beside Minjun, who mumbled frightfully in her sleep, and held Yuna, who didn't sleep at all.

"I'm scared," she would whisper.

And he would respond, "There is no need. You are a wolf. This is your pack."

The same reassurance did nothing for his own soul.

By morning, Changbin had made up his mind. He had nothing but the furs on his back and one regret on his mind.

He found Nayeon, taking the young ones with Soojin and Jaemin.

"Where is Chan?"

Nayeon didn't answer. Jaemin frowned.

"Haven't seen him since yesterday morning. Perhaps Jaebum fetched him for trial again?"

Changbin narrowed his eyes, "What?"

Nayeon tugged angrily at her coat, "He is suspect. Always, for everything, he is suspect. Tch, we get so caught up in preserving good we forget what it looks like."

Changbin didn't understand, "Where is he?"

"You won't find him, Changbin," Nayeon said harshly, "Stop looking."

Something in her tone sparked a primal fear.

She knows.

He didn't say goodbye to anyone.

He didn't return to the packhouse by dusk. 

He didn't stop running till he crossed over the ridge.

It wasn't Chan's fault for knowing where things were headed. It was wisdom, in it's own way. 

It was only his fault for being so blinded by Jaebum's weight of leadership on hia shoulders, that he didn't act sooner.

Jeongin was terrified when the first body showed up.

"H-hyung… hyung what--w-hat–"

"Sh… sleep…"

"B-but–"

"I've got you. Hyung will protect you."

It become worse when Jaebum started sowing acid in the minds of the psck.

"Hyung, I've never shifted before…"

"You track well and serve the pack just fine, Innie. Stop fretting."

"But… if I'm not–"

"Stop worrying. Hyung has you. Peel those oranges for Yuna, Ayaka, and Jiwoo, they're hungry."

Chan knew that his mild disagreements with Jaebum had turned sour. They were unliveable. Chan had to watch his intentions, although his difference with the pack alpha was fairly well known. Night and day, it was hard to miss.

Now a terrible guilt– Ayaka.

Chan had been there. In the den with the young ones, everyone fast asleep, and he'd seen Ayaka on the windowsill. Feet over the edge. 

"Ayaka? Little one?"

Her face had already had tears, "Wolves are bad."

"What? Who told you–"

"It was a wolf that killed uncle. My wolf wants me to do bad things."

"No… no it doesn't. Come away and we can talk about it, little one."

She sounded dead already, "Jaebum will think I'm bad."

"What?" A bitterness bubbled again, "I- who cares? I don't," Chan's hands shook,"Now come away. Come to oppa, come here."

Chan would never forget her eyes, "Oppa. I'm not good."

His heart snapped when her shadow disappeared into the moon. He'd brought her broken body in, and Jaebum had spent three days trying to figure out if he'd gone rabid and killed her himself. He stayed silent at first… But on the third day–

He howled. 

A wolf howl.

His own, not Jaebum's.

Youngjae had to fight his snout to the ground to stop him. 

It wasn't a good image… apparently. 

Chan didn't speak again. 

Nayeon held his face when tears ran down, unbidden, "Mourn, Chan. Your mourning is all you have."

He shook his head.

She started grieving again and fell on him, "Ayaka… Ayaka… oh, Ayaka!"

He couldn't focus on it. Instead he thought of the wolves in their den, the vulnerable and the weak. Nayeon had spread her wings over Minjun, Soojin, and Jaemin; their infirmities covered in her wisdom and position of respect. She was strong, they would survive.

The ones even she couldn't protect were the little ones.

"Hyung…"

"Sh, Innie, I've got you."

"You weren't here yesterday. Youngjae-hyung came. He was angry."

"...what did he do Jeongin?"

"He was angry."

"Did he scold you, what— Innie, where did you get these bruises?"

"Ow, hyung, don't be angry…"

"Innie. Where are these from!? They're all up your arm!"

"H- H- H- Hyung–!"

"Sh, stop sobbing pup, I need– how did you get these spots? Tell hyung."

"Hyung grabbed me like- like- this."

"Youngjae hyung?"

"He did this–"

"...I'm gonna kill him."

"Hyung!"

"Sh, stop crying, hyung's sorry just– go to sleep, Innie, sh-sh hyung's got you."

Very quickly, his concerns about integrating Changbin into the good of the pack, turned into a single-minded determination through whispers in tears at night. Jeongin didn't feel safe. Chan didn't think he was safe.

His dreams were filled with Jaebum snatching a screaming Innie from him in the dead of night.

Throats slit. Screaming. He was always soaked with sweat and shaking when he woke. 

He tightened his hold around the little boy, nose in his hair, and slept lightly.

Jeongin never left his side, glued to his hip, barely able to walk with how close he was. Chan didn't know what to do.

The pack. My pack. The alpha. My alpha. 

It was when Nayeon woke Chan up with a hand over his mouth, that he knew time had run out.

"He needs to leave," she whispered harshly, "Now."

The moon was low in the sky when they ran, Jeongin riding on his back. He hoped she was blessing their run. 

"Hng, hyung where are we going?"

"Sh, Innie."

He felt it. Right on his tail, hunting him down.

He had convinced himself this wasn't cowardice, although he was sure it was. No, don't think.

The shadow he felt chasing him, perhaps his own fear forcing him faster, kept him challenging the wind.

They had barely made it to the border, when he'd been tackled sideways, a snarling wolf lunging for his neck, Innie knocked off and sprawled on the ground.

Youngjae.

For a moment, Chan assumed fighting position and braced himself to fight Youngjae off while Jeongin ran.

But Youngjae only spared Chan one glance–

Before snapping at his ankles, and pushing him aside, lunging for Innie and biting his ankles. 

Jeongin screamed.

There was blood in Youngjae's hackles.

Chan saw red.

Snapping and snarling, he threw himself atop Youngjae, charged with a power he couldn't understand, filled with such rage that couldn't be controlled. Youngjae tried to gain traction on him with his teeth, but Chan never gave him the advantage, pinning him to the ground, a flurry of dead leaves and dirt thrown up in their struggle. 

But Youngjae pinned down to the ground was not enough.

Something dark in Chan burst in him, and he lunged for Youngjae's neck, biting.

Hard.

And pulling.

The moon was quiet when Youngjae stopped struggling.

Chan stumbled back, warm blood soaking him, and Innie's whimpering filling his ears. 

Death was a low cackling darkness, that had shadowing tendrils around the heart.

He'd killed Youngjae.

He shifted and fell back.

The body of the wolf was still.

Jeongin was crying, his leg unmoving.

Chan swore… and then grabbed Jeongin in his arms and ran like hell.

"Hyung! Hyung it hurts!"

"Sh, Innie!"

The forest blended into one color around him. Familiar blurred into unfamiliar– he ran for hours. 

Was it guilt? Cowardice? Chan could only run.

The monotony of foot after foot became a dull chorus in his head. He blocked out his pain to just keep running. The moon judged his soul from above, and he wondered whether it weighed him in their favor.

He'd killed… oh, moon, he'd– oh moon.

His legs failed him just as they passed the border as they charged down a hill, Innie falling from his arms, rolling into the dirt. He was crying properly now. He was probably in so much pain.

Chan felt so weak.

What had he been thinking?

Where had he been running too?

Where was there to go?

"I'm so sorry, Innie," he whispered, even if Jeongin couldn't hear because of the blinding pain, etched in each horrid sound that escaped him, "I'm so– I'm sorry…"

Jeongin's sobs echoed lightly through the forest. Chan closed his eyes hoping the moon would be merciful and just take them. 

He prayed it would.

The moon was mercifully.

If the moon was truly everything legends had promised, then where was the good in the world?

"Hm… who is this?"

A light voice and gentle footsteps ghosted around him.

"Sh… sh, little one, I've got you."

Weakly, Chan lifted his head.

A lady, red haired and dressed in cherry blossoms, bent down and held Jeongin with such gentleness it broke Chan's heart to say--"D-D-Don't touch him… d-don't…"

The lady turned to him, a sparkle in her eyes, "Don't tell a nymph what to do."

Chan froze. A nymph… few and far between, one with the forest.

The true tenders of the earth.

Chna could only stare numbly as she took Jeongin in her arms.

"What evil…" she whispered kissing Jeongin's brow, before bringing him over to Chan, and kneeling by his head, "He does not belong here."

Chan watched Jeongin's breathing even out to sleep. He… Chan didn't deserve him.

"No… he does not."

“The forest will keep him safe,” she promised.

“N-no…” it wouldn’t, Chan was sure he wouldn’t be safe anywhere, not his Innie, not in a world where werewolves walked as though gods, “No, he–”

“Sh…” the nymph brushed a hand across his hair, “Trust me… the magic, can you feel it?" She smiled, "You can't, tsk… but you will," and then she leaned to whisper, "If you ever doubt, call on me.”

His mind doubted, Who shall I call for?

And a voice like the spring breeze replied, in harmony with her touch, cool like a mountain spring, Sana of the earth, of the flowers in spring. Call and she will come.

"I will take him, safe," she promised lightly, and then kissed Chan's brow, bringing a swift rest like a settling snow, "Until we meet again, Bang Chan of the earth."

Chan was swallowed in darkness.

When he woke, he was alone, cherry blossoms dancing on the ground.

Innie was gone.

He wasn't yours to keep.

His spirit mourned. 

The warm breeze pulled over, taking the blossoms up like birds.

A nymph was a powerful mythic… a legend, Chan had assumed, a nursery rhyme from his mother to keep away the nightmares. Something that no longer existed to protect them. 

The moon shone down quietly, in cool, comforting light.

Chan rolled over onto his back and felt himself be healed by the sturdy ground beneath him, the cool air above him. The forest was filled with hushed sounds, crickets and birds, the trees bending down to listen.

He… Chan couldn’t go back. He’d murdered a wolf– his stomach turned just thinking about it, Youngjae unmoving in the dirt. Jaebum would publicly execute him… or worse. Force him to live as his witch-hunt for traitors continued. Except there were no traitors to find, and they would all be dead before the winter rolled in and covered them in pure, white snow. 

Chan didn’t know if it was a man who had killed that wolf or not. But he did know what had killed little Ayaka. 

Fear. 

Power was not fear. 

Chan realized he was outside of wolf territory, further than he’d ever been allowed when hunting, and sat up, breathing in the freedom. 

And he had no power of his own. Fear and cowardice, doubled– tripled in his lonliness. But out in the forest–

This… this felt like power. 

True power. 

It felt like breathing properly and never having breathed before. 

Shifting, Chan stood on four legs and took deep, wild breaths. 

He closed his eyes, Sana…

He opened them, Innie. 

The little boy’s smile filled his head and he did not ask the wind to take him away. Jeongin was safer without him, the world a safer place than the pack. Than Jaebum’s pack. 

He turned to find the river, and once he did, he followed it down. 

He was looking for the dead to respect, and he found plenty of bodies left to be honored. Small and tall. He shed tears for every one, and laid down his gratitude for those he didn't see. Six graves… fourteen…

Jaebum's sins to atone for.

His own guilt to pay.

It was about four days of sleeping beside the reflection of the stars when he realized he wasn’t alone. Changbin’s form shifted in the evening glow, two feet walking meekly, head bowed. 

“None of that,” Chan quickled dismissed, handing him a skinned squirrel he’d caught, “Rogues are equals, didn’t anyone teach you that?”

Changbin bit his cheek at Chan’s easy banter and took the squirrel. 

“Why did you leave?” he asked quietly. 

“Innie.”

“Oh.”

“He’s not with me any longer.”

"Where is he?"

Chan swallowed harshly, "I have to–" find him. That was what he wanted to say, but instead– "...wait for him. He'll come back to me."

“...Alright.”

Chan had a feeling that Changbin had put him on a pedastal. He felt unworthy to be in the presence of another wolf, much less Changbin, his grey eyes blank and calculating.

“I killed Youngjae.”

Changbin’s easy shrug was not what Chan expected. 

“He had it coming,” Changbin said simply, “I wanted to slit his throat after what he said to Nayeon-noona.”

“What did he say?”

“That she shouldn’t grieve the guilty.”

Chan’s soul felt a little consoled. Only a little. 

“Why did you leave?” Chan asked, “Too stifling? Became too maddening?”

“I would have died.”

Chan frowned, “What do you mean? You’re a wolf, a strong one–”

“I’m not,” Changbin’s eyes burned as he looked at Chan, a cold burn, laughing bitterly, “Oh come now, surely you’ve guessed it by now? You’re perceptive, more than that whole lot.”

Chan shook his head, and Changbin bit back and swallowed something bitter. 

“Hyung… I’m not a wolf.”

When Chan frowned, he sighed, “I… I was changed when I was young. Bitten. I’m not natural, I– I’m not a wolf.”

“Do you remember it? It must have been hard.”

Chan knew why Changbin was surprised, but he didn’t comment on it. Because it felt a lot like never being asked about his mother being mauled to death or how Jaebum had welcomed him into the pack without ever telling him why. 

Changbin blinked, “I… don’t. But Jinhwan used to think I was also cursed…” he swallowed, “I… hyung, I’m dangerous to be with.”

“So is anyone powerful.”

“Hyung, I go into a rage and… I can’t remember what I do.”

“The wolf can be powerful it–”

“I think I killed that wolf.”

Chan stared at Changbin, keeping as neutral an expression as he could. 

“I… don’t think you–”

“I was from a man-village, Chan.”

“So was I.”

It wasn't the same, but it held the same weight. Chan had always been a wolf… but like Changbin, he hadn't been born into the pack.

Chan remembered what he couldn’t ever tell. His mother lived on the outskirts of a village, and Jaebum had always used this to say how Chan had perhaps been saved from a terrible evil. But it wasn’t the men that destroyed his mother– the men had been the only ones to come running when his house burst into flames, when figures shadowy and evil cornered them as they tried to run. 

It wasn’t men that had killed his mother. 

It was men that had saved him. 

“That doesn’t matter,” Chan whispered, “You might be cursed, we’ll figure it out.”

“We?”

Chan stood up and smiled, stretching and looking out at the horizon, “Traveling East feels easy, doesn’t it? Almost like we’re being pulled there…”

Changbin blinked, looking at Chan like he’d gone mad, “What are you saying?”

“East. I want to go East. And I think you should come with me,” he put out the fire and winked, “Something about two rouges following the beckoning of a nymph, it feels straight from a legend, doesn’t it?”

“...Have you gone mad?”

“Possibly.”

Changbin shook his head, “Where’s Innie?”

“Nymph.”

“You have gone mad, maybe I should leave you now.”

“Maybe you should,” Chan shrugged honestly, “Or maybe we can find out if you’re actually cursed or not.”

Changbin didn’t say anything. 

But he didn’t leave Chan when the sun rose, and was by his side as Chan continued to follow the river. 

“Where are we headed?” was the only question he asked.

“Somewhere safe,” Chan decided, once Jaebum’s pack was far enough behind, “Somewhere to call home.”

Changbin huffed, “That’s impossible. Don’t you know anything about wolves? The strength of the pack is the wolf, and the strength of the wolf–”

“--is the pack,” Chan finished, smiling, “My mother used to tell me.”

“Of course she–”

“We lived near men.”

Changbin went quiet.

“They protected us. It… felt more safe than Jaebum’s pack ever did,” he said honestly, "That's what a pack, isn't it? Feeling safe? Trusting one another, relying on each other's strengths not discerning their weaknesses."

Changbin looked Chan over critically, "I… suppose so. Hm."

"What?"

"You're a good alpha."

Chan snorted, disbelieving, "No. I'm not."

"We'll see."

They followed the river down the valley into the mystery of the next day. Changbin didn't ever think of leaving Chan's side. 

And somehow, the air was a little lighter to breathe. 

Chan didn't ever think about leading anyone.

He only thought of being worthy enough to meet Innie. One day.

And being somewhere safe on the earth and beneath the moon for Innie to come back to.

🌕

There is a place, out in the wilds where the trees greet the sky and the sky returns generously in kindness. 

There is a place, where the mythics understand the earth, and the earth blesses the good.

There is a place, where the moon has given the power to judge and discern over the land, and the beasts in turn learn to tend for all they are left over.

And in this place, there is a legend.

The legend, as all legends, is flawed.

The wolf is niether murderous nor misguided. If one listens close, his howling is as far from anguished– it's a beautiful melody, in beautiful harmony with the moon. It's a call, a beckoning, a promise.

There is always an echo of this chorus, haunting, lower in timbre, but no less powerful.

This wolf is not alone.

But the legends get one thing right.

He remains a wolf so fierce, more than a beast of the moon.

And some have dared tried to cross his path, to destroy this monster of the valley, and they learn– he is a demon.

And anyone who dare cross him, be damned.