Work Text:
Jeongguk is tired.
It’s not the kind of tiredness that would make him blink blearily, struggling to keep his eyes open for long enough to make it through the day’s schedules, but it still weighs heavy on him. His limbs feel sore from the countless hours of practice and his throat is dry from singing for such a long period of time but, hey, he’s still standing strong.
He can’t say the same about Taehyung.
He’s been noticing his boyfriend yawning earlier on their way to the BigHit building and he thought it was just him fighting off the reminders of sleep still clinging to his body, but now he’s not that convinced. Jeongguk is suddenly re-evaluating that earlier yawn and he’s come to the conclusion that maybe, just maybe, it was the lack of sleep pulling Taehyung under rather than him still being sleepy. Last night when they went to bed, Jeongguk had succumbed to the sweet relief of sleep too fast to know if Taehyung had fallen asleep right after him or not, but by the look of things, he definitely hadn’t.
The camera is still rolling. The live still going strong even half an hour later, but Jeongguk is distracted. He seemingly can’t focus on reviewing their not-yet-released album, his attention split between making sure he looks excited enough for ARMY and worrying about Taehyung’s state. He’s honestly trying to pay attention to the pictures in the photobook that Jimin’s pointing out to him and if it was another day, if he was in another mood, he would have probably marvelled at how good they turned out, but not today. Not when he lifted his head for a second and immediately caught Taehyung rubbing at his eyes tiredly, a look of fatigue etched on his, maybe a little too rosy, face.
Does he have a fever?
“Look at your face, Guk, the fans are going to love that pout,” Jimin chuckles, index finger showing Jeongguk exactly what he’s talking about, but he can only nod back, the smile he plasters on his face not even reaching his eyes.
He’s itching to go to Taehyung’s side and put his hand on his forehead to make sure he’s not burning up. He’s worried sick that his boyfriend is going to faint any minute now. And yes, it might be a slight exaggeration on Jeongguk’s part. Taehyung looks fine. Apart from looking a little pale and a lot tired, he seems to be faring alright but Jeongguk is an overthinker, of course, he’s going to think of the worst thing.
He rests his palms on the table, struggling to stop his fidgeting. Namjoon has already sent him a confused glare and if he noticed, he’s not doing a good job concealing his thoughts. He’s plagued by a restlessness that won’t stop until he’s by Taehyung’s side, but there’s not much he can do right now. “Watch this, the CD looks amazing!” Hobi exclaims and Jeongguk tries to appear interested even though he’s sure he must be doing a poor job of it.
Like clockwork, his eyes are drawn time and time again to Taehyung on the opposite side of the table, almost drowning in his orange parka. Jeongguk internally coos at him. He’s always loved how oversized clothing looks on his boyfriend. It makes him look even smaller and when Jeongguk takes him into his arms it reminds him how he’d literally protect him from anything. When Taehyung’s eyes meet his across the table, Jeongguk offers him a small, reassuring smile that he hopes will comfort his boyfriend until they’re finished with the live and he can take care of him.
Taehyung smiles back at him and ruffles his own brown hair, trying to convey to him that he’s fine. Jeongguk only shakes his head fondly, mind still weary but attempting to return to the task at hand.
“This album will blow your mind,” Jimin says excitedly, holding up the photobook to show to the camera.
“Dude, keep it down, don’t spoil everyone,” Jin admonishes him, but Jimin only sticks his tongue out at him, clearly not that concerned about giving spoilers.
The staff shake their heads from behind the cameras, gesturing at him to behave. Jeongguk notices how Jimin rolls his eyes from behind the album and he can honestly relate. Their presence in the room is the only thing stopping him from going to Taehyung’s side, keeping him rooted to the spot even though he’s agitated enough to pass on his mood to the others as well. He feels jittery and uncoordinated and by the way Yoongi’s started to fidget as well, he’s sure they’re all losing their patience with him. But he can’t stop.
He just worries. He worries so much when it comes to Taehyung.
The dirty look from one of their managers doesn’t bother him, actually, he barely registers it. For the remainder of the live, he focuses on faking some laughs and smiles and trying to calm his emotions down. What he doesn’t fake is his excitement for this comeback. He’s so nervous to see their fan’s reactions and so thrilled to perform the new songs that they worked on day and night for the past few months. He just hopes everything will turn out alright and they’ll be allowed back on stage faster than they anticipate. ‘BE’ is meant to be healing and he hopes they can heal together with ARMY on the stage that came to feel like their second home.
Before Jeongguk knows it, they’re wrapping everything up, saying goodbye to the fans and reading some of the comments that don’t fail to enliven his spirits, and then the cameras turn off and it’s just them. Them and twenty other people paid to watch every single one of their moves.
He doesn’t care.
Seconds after the recording stops, he crosses the room and halts right in front of Taehyung who looks a little startled at his sudden appearance. Jeongguk takes both of his hands in one of his own, and the other he rests on his forehead, checking his temperature.
Taehyung huffs out a giggle, but doesn’t fight him off, “I could feel your unease from the other side of the table, Guk, what’s wrong? And why are you acting like my mom when I sneeze for half a second? I’m not sick.”
“How do you know? You’re a little hot,” Jeongguk frowns, palms turning this way and that over Taehyung’s forehead. Worrying his bottom lip between his teeth, he trails it lower, over his cheeks and down to his neck, his skin a little too warm for Jeongguk’s liking.
His boyfriend chuckles, swatting his hand away and putting his own hand over Jeongguk’s in assurance, “Well, thank you, babe, you’re very kind to say that.” Jeongguk only rolls his eyes, intertwining their fingers.
He squeezes Taehyung’s hand gently, “I’m serious, Tae,” he brushes the little strands of hair from Taehyung’s face and watches how his boyfriend’s eyes close halfway at the action. He looks like he could fall asleep any minute now. “Did you sleep last night?”
“Good God, Tae, you got yourself such a protective boyfriend, watch him take you home and feed you soup in bed now,” Jimin snickers when brushing past them, making kissy faces at the scene playing in front of him.
Yoongi suddenly appears at his side and tugs on his ear harshly, giving him a pointed stare, “Go home now, Jimin, no one likes a tease.”
“Ouch, Hyung, don’t be so rough! That’s not how I like it,” he laughs at Yoongi, whose lack of a reaction doesn’t seem to deter him because the next thing he does is whistle at Taehyung’s shy expression and poke his side with his elbow. “It’s cute though, it really melts my heart.”
Jeongguk throws him an annoyed look and gives him the middle finger which prompts Taehyung to burst into laughter immediately. “Oh c’mon Jimin, don’t mess with Guk here, he gets embarrassed easily.” Jeongguk gasps, the betrayed expression on his face doing nothing to stop Taehyung and Jimin from laughing.
The younger crosses his arms over his chest, offended. “Hm, so if I’m the one embarrassed, then why is your face so red, baby ?” He smirks when Taehyung’s giggles die in his throat and he coughs, right hand coming out to scratch at his nape in shame.
“Hey, don’t come for me, I’m sick, remember?”
And Jeongguk does remember because his face turns serious again, eyebrows furrowing when he notices the bags under Taehyung’s eyes. “I think that’s our cue to go,” Yoongi butts in, dragging a vexed Jimin after him.
“You didn’t answer my question,” Jeongguk pouts after a moment of silence. Taehyung looks sheepishly at his feet, his eyes not quite meeting Jeongguk’s.
“Uhm- not really,” he shifts his weight from one foot to the other, sighing when Jeongguk just waits patiently for him to continue. “I tried, okay? But it’s like- You know when your body is so tired but your mind just can’t stop overthinking so you’re just stuck in that frustrating state between being fully awake and half-asleep? It keeps happening lately.”
“ Lately? What do you mean? Was last night not the only time it happened?” Jeongguk is even more alert now and he wonders how he could’ve missed Taehyung not getting enough sleep for days. It’s fair to say that he was tired as well so these past few days, whenever his head hit the pillow, he was out like a light. But that doesn’t excuse it, he should’ve seen the signs, the lack of sleep in Taehyung’s disposition.
“See? I knew you would beat yourself up over it,” Taehyung mumbles under his breath, “I can literally read it on your face, but it’s not your fault that I can’t sleep so stop that train of thought, okay? You’re gonna be the death of me one day, I swear.”
Jeongguk steps forward, now close enough to hear Taehyung’s pulse in his ears and feel his breath hit his skin. He drags Taehyung to his chest, smiling unconsciously when he feels Taehyung’s arms encircle his waist tightly. He kisses the top of his boyfriend’s head and swears tonight he’ll make sure Taehyung gets some sleep. He can’t go on like this because one of these days he’ll just collapse from exhaustion and Jeongguk doesn’t know what he’ll do then. Probably panic like crazy. He’d rather avoid that.
“Is there anything on your mind that I should know about?” he asks carefully, but when Taehyung stays silent, breathing steadily against his chest, he ventures ahead, “You said your mind can’t stop overthinking so-“
Taehyung interrupts him, “It’s the comeback. I just- I’m worried , you know? All the uncertainty with Covid and us not being able to go on stage and meet the fans, it’s just eating at me. I just feel a little stuck at the moment, I guess. I just have a lot on my plate, and fretting about the future, the new album, people’s reactions, it just takes its toll on me.”
“You know you can talk to me about anything , right?” Jeongguk pulls away just enough to look Taehyung in the eyes and bend down to place a sweet kiss on his lips. He frames Taehyung’s face in his hands, loving the way his cheeks colour pink underneath his fingers. “If I can’t understand, then who can?”
Taehyung just nods and puckers his lips in demand for another kiss. Jeongguk looks around to make sure almost everyone else left before he leans down and captures Taehyung’s lips properly, prying his mouth open so he can slip his tongue inside. It’s so sensual how Taehyung opens up for him easily and how his hands come up to tangle in Jeongguk’s hair like second nature when he licks inside his mouth desperately as if he’s thirsty and Taehyung’s mouth provides him with the water he needs.
When they break apart to take in some air, Jeongguk runs the tip of his tongue over the seam of his lips and Taehyung gasps, whimpering when the younger tugs hard with his teeth on the bottom lip in response. “You taste good enough to eat,” Jeongguk comments and he chuckles when Taehyung rolls his eyes in exasperation even though they both know it makes him all hot and bothered when Jeongguk reminds him again and again just how desired he is.
“Let’s go home, I’ll make you some tea and put you to bed,” Jeongguk takes his hand and starts dragging him away, ignoring Taehyung’s raised eyebrow.
“How did you manage to make even that sound dirty?” he murmurs weakly, trailing behind his younger boyfriend, but the smile tugging his lips upward and the contented feeling in his belly are almost enough to make him forget just how bone-tired he really is.
Promotions for the new album came and went and with them Jeongguk’s anxiety sky-rocketed. The joke’s on him for thinking that after the live two weeks ago Taehyung will go back to a normal sleeping pattern and everything will be okay. Because it’s sure as hell not.
Of course, they wouldn’t have time to eat, let alone sleep properly. Instead of things getting better, they somehow got worse and Jeongguk can do nothing but watch his boyfriend push himself to his limit. He wishes he could make it better for him, take more on himself to allow Taehyung some well-needed rest, but the thing about comeback season is that all of them are being overworked, so all he can do is offer moral support and make sure to be there for Taehyung whenever he needs him.
Or at least tries to be.
Because there are moments like these when he just imagines himself pushing up from his chair, ripping off his headset and just storming off with Taehyung in tow far away from all the cameras, and the questions, and the eyes watching them constantly. He craves having the courage to do that.
But for the moment, he lacks the courage and he also lacks the ability to keep taking hit after hit without fighting back, so he’s now stuck in the middle in between two impossible decisions.
Does he obey, or does he disobey?
Since morning he’s noticed something was off. Despite the fact they had to be up and running by 6 am for a photoshoot, Jeongguk felt revigorated since they went to bed earlier the night before and he had gotten the rest his body so desperately craved. But when he got out of bed and saw Taehyung barely dragging his feet to the bathroom he knew his boyfriend wasn’t so lucky. When he asked him about his sleep, Taehyung just shook his head and gave him a sad smile before taking a shower in hopes of feeling a little invigorated.
But his vivacity only spiralled downward throughout the day.
Jeongguk had to watch Taehyung force himself to act lively and happy during the photoshoot, grimacing every time the older tripped over his feet or knocked over a prompt due to how physically and mentally tired he was. He ached to be able to just say stop, that’s enough and take him home, but work was work and they had to go forward whether they liked it or not. And Jeongguk hated it.
Moments like these, he hated it so much it made him so angry inside.
And now they are in an interview, with no break in between it and the photoshoot and Jeongguk is irritable, concerned and bored at the same time. He can almost taste his frustration on his tongue and he fights with himself to keep his smile still on his face and fingers unclenched where he rests his hands on his knees.
“Tell us about the concept behind the album and the name,” the host asks and Jeongguk internally groans at the predictable questions.
He gets that not every question can be original, but to have to answer the same one three interviews in a row is just on a completely new level of boring.
While Namjoon answers again, he chances a glance at Taehyung on the chair in front of his. He can’t see his face from behind him, but his hunched stance tells him everything he needs to know. His shoulders are slumped forward and even though he’s sitting prettily, one leg over the other, Jeongguk knows Taehyung is not himself right now just by the way he’s holding himself.
He’s not the usual bold, confident, lively Taehyung that he loves. He looks so small and defeated, withdrawn, and it breaks Jeongguk’s heart to see him so vulnerable. He digs his fingers into his knees and prays that his true feelings aren’t visible on camera.
Even taking deep breaths can’t help calm down his nervousness. Can’t the interview just be over already? The fact that it’s online just makes everything worse. If he had the power to turn off the electricity, he would. Sitting in the dark and waiting beats having to hear the same old questions repeated all over again. At least then he’d have Taehyung in his arms, hopefully sleeping peacefully.
What they need is a break.
“Alright guys, it’s always so fun to chat with you,” the host says and they all chuckle at once as if prompted, “so thank you so much for hanging out with us again.”
Jeongguk claps on autopilot after they say their goodbye, and almost shoots straight up from the chair when the cameraman tells them it’s over and done with. He breathes in relief but is stopped short when he begins making his way to Taehyung.
One of the assistant managers motions him to the corner of the room and he frowns, looking back at Taehyung who seems just as lost as him. He shrugs, rubbing his arms for comfort and quickly hiding his yawn behind the back of his hand.
Jeongguk nods tightly at the assistant and motions that he’ll follow after him, then he stops Jin quickly on his way to the food area. “Wait Hyung,” he gestures toward Taehyung who shuffles awkwardly on his feet, not knowing whether to wait for him or not. “Can you please take Taehyung to eat something? I won’t be long, but he needs some food in his system quickly.”
Jin glances at Taehyung, now a little concerned. “He does look a little pale. Did he have any breakfast?”
Jeongguk shakes his head guiltily, “No time,” he mutters, “and he didn’t get much sleep either, so I’m worried he’ll just collapse if he pushes himself more. Please make sure he eats something consistent. I’ll come too but I just need to discuss something with -” he points to the assistant manager talking animatedly into his headset, “the guy over there.”
“All right,” Jin sighs, dragging a hand over his face, “I’ll try but I can’t force him, Jeongguk.”
“I know, just-” Jeongguk pinches the bridge of his nose, already feeling a headache forming behind his eyes, “-try, okay? And don’t let him out of your sight!”
“You sound like an overprotective parent, Jeongguk, oh my God, what did love do to you?” Jin giggles when Jeongguk just shoves him in Taehyung’s direction, hitting his shoulder playfully in the process.
When he comes back to the assistant, the annoyance in Jeongguk’s tone when he greets him with a sharp “What is it?” can probably be heard from miles away but he can’t be arsed to exchange pleasantries when he’s that cranky and frustrated with just about everything.
The guy stares at him, unfazed, and begins scanning through his files, “You have one more interview today and a group photoshoot later,” he deadpans, eyes settling on Jeongguk once more, “you can’t afford to be distracted.”
“Excuse me?!”
“Jeongguk, you’re not as subtle as you think you are, this interview was a mess, take a break, drink some water, and try to focus, it’s comeback season.”
Jeongguk only blinks. “Taehyung doesn’t feel well,” is the only thing he says. He bites his tongue before he can say more.
The assistant sighs, “People have bad days, Jeongguk. He’ll be alright, we just have to get through these two schedules and then-”
Jeongguk holds up his hand, “How do you know?”
“Pardon?”
“How do you know,” he asks through gritted teeth, “that he’ll be okay?”
“Look, if it makes you feel better, we’ll give him some anti-fatigue pills, or have him take a little nap in between our timetable, but he’s just tired. If you worry so much, it won’t do any good to either of you,” when he notices Jeongguk’s unconvinced expression, he adds, “If tomorrow he doesn’t feel better, we’ll run some tests-”
Jeongguk tunes the guy out before he loses his calm and blurts out that what he should do is stop overworking them to the point of breaking, but he shuts his eyes tight, takes a couple of deep breaths, and pretends he’s listening when he really itches to run to the food court right now and make Taehyung feel better the only way he knows.
By being present.
“Are we good?”
Jeongguk nods tightly and makes to turn on his heels before the assistant’s words halt him in his tracks.
“And I’m sorry to say, but-” he ventures carefully, aware that it’s a sensitive topic, “I need you two to keep your distance in front of the cameras today.”
Jeongguk turns around slowly, eyes wide and disbelieving staring pointedly at this guy that’s just told him he has to stay away from his unwell boyfriend. He must be joking.
“Are you out of your mind?”
“I know it’s hard-”
“No, you don’t know shit, you have no idea how-” and it’s not like Jeongguk to lose his composure but he’s about had it with the rules and the separation. If it was any other day, maybe he would have kept his head down, swallowed down his words and nodded his head, but it’s not just any day. It’s a hard day for Taehyung and he needs him. He can’t just stay away .
“This is not up for debate,” the assistant raises his voice, “this is not what I wish and I hope you understand that, but everyone needs to make sacrifices for the sake of the team. It won’t kill you to stay apart for a few hours! I give you my word that I’ll look after Taehyung, can you give me yours that you’ll behave?”
I can look after my own boyfriend, dickhead , Jeongguk wants to say, but instead, he pokes the inside of his cheek with his tongue and nods stiffly before turning on his heels and sprinting to the food court.
Coming to a standstill in the doorway and seeing Taehyung’s hand trembling on the fork he’s holding to his lips makes Jeongguk want to cry. It’s like a heavy stone settled in the pit of his stomach and any appetite that he had before the interview completely vanished now.
If Taehyung doesn’t eat, he can’t either. It’s like a physical reaction.
He sees Jin trying to brighten him up, but by the expression on Taehyung’s face, it doesn’t seem to be working. He just looks… tired.
Jeongguk lets out a shaky breath and wills away the tears of frustration before he rushes to his boyfriend’s side, startling him when he wraps his arms around his petite waist. He holds him tightly, securely, and when Taehyung sighs and relaxes in his hold, placing a soft hand over his arm, Jeongguk just buries his face in his neck, inhaling the scent of pinewood and something so masculine, so Taehyung .
It’s a heady sensation and he nuzzles his nose further into his skin to get more of that feeling when he feels Taehyung shiver in his hold. He plasters his front even closer to Taehyung’s back as if through their closeness he’d have the power to take away everything that makes Taehyung hurt.
“ Everything’s going to be okay ,” he whispers against his warm skin, arms strong and grounding around Taehyung’s middle, and he senses Taehyung nod, he sees the trust in his eyes when he turns his head and looks at him like the only remedy he needed just materialized to his side and is now holding him to not fall apart.
The past few days were hell.
Actually, even literal hell would’ve been better than having to watch Taehyung slowly sinking into himself under his eyes day by day and not being able to do anything to lift his spirits.
At night, at home, he’d try every trick in the book to bring up the older’s spirits and it would work. When it was just the two of them, Taehyung would laugh and crack jokes and just relax, comfortable and at ease in their own space, their own personal bubble. Jeongguk would run baths for him every night and they’d cuddle in the bathtub, head to chest, legs entangled, then they’d make out lazily for a while and go to sleep content in each other’s arms.
But then the next day would come and everything would start all over again. It was exhausting. The managers limited their interactions, just to be safe they said, and by this point, both of them were fed up. It was tiring, to say the least, to be in a constant state of carefulness, always being attentive to not slip up, to not get too close, to not make it suspicious.
What Jeongguk actually thought to look suspicious was their lack of interactions. But no one listened to what he had to say about the subject anyway.
To top it off, even with all of Jeongguk’s effort, Taehyung isn’t sleeping much better. Jeongguk’s got a hunch that what keeps his boyfriend awake sometimes can be attributed not only to the tension comeback season entailed but to their particular situation as well. Having to permanently hide a part of yourself isn’t exactly sleep-inducing.
Not that they weren’t required to hide their relationship before, but add that to the stress of the comeback, the performances, the covid situation, and everything in between, one of them was bound to lose sleep over it. And not that Jeongguk isn’t, but he is managing it better, Taehyung though, he’s not taking it so well. He needs to unwind, he needs a break, he needs Jeongguk .
“Happy birthday,” Jeongguk shouts, slapping Jin on the back and handing him his present.
Today is Jin’s birthday and they already had plans to celebrate properly at home later since today it’s also one of their odd days off, but for the moment, they are at the company building, filming a Bangtan Bomb to be posted later on YouTube.
Jin hugs him tightly, thanking him for the gift and Jeongguk smiles genuinely even though he’s painfully aware of the camera shoved in his face. He’s excited for later since they haven’t had a day off in what feels like ages and to have a good time and drink something with his Hyungs sounds like paradise to his ears.
“Oh, look who’s here! Did you forget about my birthday, huh? You’re late!” Jin greets Jimin with his arms open and he throws the gift he’s bought him on the table in favour of jumping on Jin at the invitation to hug. Jeongguk giggles fondly and picks up the discarded gift to inspect it.
Hobi enters right after Jimin, screaming mock-offended, “Hey, what about me? Happy birthday, Jin Hyung! You’re still the oldest, by the way.”
“Yah!” Jin flicks him over the head with the gift wrap and Hobi bends over laughing at the horror on his face.
“Don’t tease Jin Hyung, it’s his birthday today!” Namjoon says from the other side of the room, half a piece of cake already stuffed in his mouth.
Yoongi grimaces from next to him. “Please don’t talk with your mouth full.”
The door opens once more, another cameraman making his way inside, followed by none other than Taehyung.
Jeongguk almost drops Jimin’s gift for Jin when he sees him. He gapes like a fish in the water checking out Taehyung from head to toe. Dressed in all black with tight-fitted jeans that accentuate his beautiful curves and that belt buckle hugging his waist in the most flattering way, he has Jeongguk’s jaw on the floor.
Even exhausted, Taehyung still looks ethereal.
It takes everything in him to just stay put and watch his boyfriend strut inside the room, long legs distracting him to another dimension. How much he’d give to pin him to the wall and kiss him senseless, show him how much he wanted him, but he has to bite down on his lip to keep from groaning when instead of coming into his arms, he goes to Jin and gives him his present and a short hug.
He remembers where he is and shakes his head to clear it when Jimin nudges him with his elbow, smirking knowingly at him. Jeongguk schools his expression into one of indifference, a poker face, but inside, he’s anything but calm and collected. He hides his fidgety fingers with the long sleeves of his black jacket and prays for the cameras to turn off quicker.
“So, how does it feel being old?” Jimin teases, biting down on his lip to keep from cracking up. Jin looks disgusted that he even implied he’s old and he grabs the nearest empty present box and flings it at his head.
The cameras in the room pan away to the cute interaction and Jeongguk takes the opportunity to sneak closer to Taehyung.
He leans down close to his ear and whispers, “ You look beautiful ,” the sleeve of his jacket brushing over his back. Taehyung blushes and fights off a smile, side-eyeing him in a silent warning to behave.
When Jimin returns after being chased a little by Jin for a bit of entertainment, he takes the empty spot on Taehyung’s right side, beaming at him. Taehyung returns the smile and Jimin flings an arm around his neck, prompting him to place his head on his shoulder which Taehyung does with a sigh.
Jeongguk tries not to let it get to him, but it’s hard when the staff monitoring them seem to be pleased by the interaction. He knows he shouldn’t be jealous, he has absolutely no reason to, except for the fact that someone else can play around with his boyfriend, and be close to him, while he sits just a couple of feet away but is unable to do anything.
They are only feet apart, but why does he feel so far away?
He’s aware of the reason why, but it still stings. He’s not stupid, he knows that there are people out there who think that Jimin and Taehyung are a couple, just like how there are people who think that Yoongi and Hobi are a couple, or him and Jin and so on, but he also knows that the number of people who think that are significantly less than the amount of ‘shippers’ that he and Taehyung have.
The risk of their actual relationship being accidentally exposed is far greater to risk it, he’s no stranger to the talks about responsibility and keeping his personal life separate from the professional one.
But how is it fair that he can’t even be Taehyung’s friend in public? Why do they have to act like strangers?
Jeongguk turns his head away, the emotions rising in his throat choking him. The staff’s approving looks make him sick and he’s afraid that he’ll do something stupid if Jimin doesn’t take his hand away from Taehyung.
It’s not jealousy, it’s envy. He’s envious that Jimin is allowed to touch his boyfriend in public, even encouraged to do so, when he’s sitting right. damn. there.
“Hey, you okay?” the whispering catches Jeongguk’s attention, and he turns his head to watch Taehyung and Jimin again. He curiously tunes into their conversation.
“Mhm,” Taehyung mumbles, rubbing at his eyes lazily, “just a little tired, Chim.”
“Did Jeongguk tire you out?” He wiggles his brows at Taehyung, then looks up to find Jeongguk staring right at them and he smirks, making his cheeks heat up imagining what he must be implying.
Taehyung tsks. “You’re such a pervert, you know? I meant I couldn’t sleep, asshole, and not because of Gukie,” he adds quickly when Jimin opens his mouth again to argue.
Jeongguk sticks his tongue out at him when he notices the camera filming Hobi and Yoongi talking about their favourite song from ‘BE’, grateful that it’s not focused on the three of them. Yet.
“Wait- couldn’t sleep? Again?” Jimin asks concerned, tone devoid of any playfulness now. “I thought it was getting better.”
“Me too, but hey, don’t worry, I’m working on it, alright? Jeonggukie is helping too, I just need to try harder to find a balance between work and rest-” he smiles weekly at him, trying to reassure his friend. Jeongguk worries his bottom lip between his teeth, hating to hear him talk like that. It’s not Taehyung’s fault. Why would he have to try harder?
Jimin must be thinking the same thing because he reaches down and takes Taehyung’s hand in both of his own, caressing his knuckles and providing some comfort in the only way he knows how to. Touch has always been his love language.
And Jeongguk never hated it more than now.
He glances at their joined hands and he feels the lump in his throat get bigger, the repressed emotions squeezing at his throat, clawing at his chest, demanding to be let out. The cameras are back on the three of them, effectively catching the sweet moment and Jeongguk’s about had it.
Fuck it.
Before he can think twice, he clutches Taehyung’s other hand in his own, all while looking straight ahead. He hears the surprised gasp his boyfriend lets out, loud enough to be heard by his ears only but he doesn’t let go, instead, he grips tighter, holds onto his hand tighter, absolutely unwilling to let go.
Panic is already spreading in the room. Jeongguk can literally feel the tension radiating off the staff and camera crew but he only holds onto Taehyung tighter, daring them to cause a scene. When no one makes a move to stop them, only staring pointedly at them with their mouths open, Jeongguk gets encouraged and dares to intertwine their fingers.
Taehyung’s grip on his hand is even stronger, it’s like he’s holding on for dear life too. His shaky breaths hit the back of Jeongguk’s neck and he knows they’re both nervous, but at the same time, they are elated . He feels empowered, a little bit freer, and it’s such an overwhelmingly wholesome feeling that he’s certain his heart almost skipped a beat.
From his periphery, Jeongguk sees Taehyung letting go of Jimin’s hand and he tries to hide the smile taking over his face because yes, I am here for you too, and as long as I’m here you won’t have to go to someone else for comfort. Jeongguk is sure that Taehyung understood him perfectly.
“ Ggukie, ” Taehyung shakily whispers, but Jeongguk squeezed his fingers again, letting him know that it’s alright, that they’re okay, that Jeongguk loves him . Taehyung shily smiles, hanging his head down to hide it, but Jeongguk has seen it and it made him feel all warm inside, the butterflies dancing wild in his belly because he did that. He made Taehyung smile.
Guess actions do speak louder than words.
Even though the gesture remained pretty hidden, Jeongguk’s bomber jacket sleeve hiding their entwined hands partly, it still made him feel stronger and… hopeful .
Baby steps. And maybe with time, gestures like this one won’t feel so out of reach anymore.
He prays for that day to come faster.
The day that the freedom will be theirs.
Jeongguk keeps glancing at Taehyung from his periphery and he can legitimately say that he has no thoughts of stopping anytime soon.
The live he’s doing has been going on for about 40 minutes at that point and Jeongguk is beyond bored and frustrated already. When Taehyung announced that he wanted to hang out with ARMY for a while before getting dinner, Jeongguk had been more than happy. That meant that he was feeling up to talking and joking around with the fans, which in turn meant that he wasn’t physically exhausted anymore.
It’s been a while since Taehyung had felt rested enough to go even on Weverse, so to hear him say he wanted to do a live left Jeongguk a little bit speechless and a lot more enthusiastic.
That’s why he even begged Taehyung to let him stay in the room with the promise he’ll keep quiet and act like he wasn’t even present. After all, he wasn’t supposed to be there in the first place. That’s what people thought anyway. And it’s no one’s business that they live together anyway.
But it’s hard to focus on not making any noise when Jeongguk can’t contain his excitement watching Taehyung speak animatedly and smile widely at the camera, completely absorbed in his conversation with ARMY. It’s hard to not beam at the boy, seeing him so animated and with so much energy after feeling down for such a long period of time.
Their comeback schedules are almost over at this point, two months having passed since November, so they had more time to themselves these days. Jeongguk made sure that Taehyung got his much-needed rest and to be able to watch him slowly coming back to his old, dynamic self, made the younger feel elated, over the moon with joy. Seeing Taehyung’s face light up with a smile more frequently these days has his heart beating faster in his chest, so damn content that it hurts.
Today though, watching Taehyung in his element, beaming at the screen with that blinding smile of his, has Jeongguk feeling something that he hasn’t felt in a while. Mischievous.
A smirk spreads over his face slowly and he bites down on his lip contemplating his plan. On one hand, it’s crazy and a little bit risky, on the other hand, it pumps adrenaline in his veins, his blood rushing south just at the thought of doing something so naughty while the camera’s still on and the fans are still watching. He’s excited.
Not giving himself time to think of all the reasons why he shouldn’t , he gets up silently from the couch, eyes fixed on Taehyung gesticulating animatedly to the camera. He sees the exact moment his boyfriend senses his movements because his lips twitch upward and his eyes dart quickly in his direction. He raises an eyebrow his way, as inconspicuous as possible, but Jeongguk only raises his right back at him as if asking him what he’s doing. He points to the camera when Taehyung doesn’t seem to be showing any signs of wanting to get back to his live and chuckles when Tae shakes his head nervously and scratches embarrassed at his neck when his eyes return to his computer.
Jeongguk can already see a pink hue spreading over his cheeks and he has to stop himself from cooing at how easy it is to make Taehyung flustered.
He thanks God that the desk Taehyung’s put the camera on is quite wide and he can fit right underneath without having to contort too much. Taehyung’s eyes widen and he shoots him a questioning look but otherwise remains silent, pretending to read some comments from Army. But Jeongguk knows he’s distracted. He smiles, proud of himself and looks up at Taehyung through his lashes, so innocent but so devious at the same time.
The most lethal of combinations.
Taehyung’s eyes keep flickering to him, sitting under the table with seemingly no care in the world and Jeongguk can tell he’s nervous, anticipating another move.
Jeongguk licks his lips and makes his move. He reaches out and spreads Taehyung’s legs forcefully, settling in between them with his hands on his thighs, watching closely for his reaction. Taehyung lets out a shaky breath and smiles anxiously, and he makes to close his legs again, except Jeongguk doesn’t let him, digging his nails into the material of his pants, hard enough to reach his skin and draw a quiet hiss from his mouth.
“Tsk, tsk,” Jeongguk shakes his head, holding a finger to his lips to prompt him to keep quiet. “ Don’t want them to know, do you?” he mouths and Taehyung’s hand lands over his own, clammy from nervousness.
For a second, Jeongguk thinks he’ll push his hand away but then Taehyung nods down at him, almost imperceptibly, and moves his hand higher, dangerously close to his crotch. What he’s about to do is so dirty and risky and insane but Jeongguk feels dizzy with arousal, the situation making it all hotter. It’s heady, how in control he feels even here under a table, on his knees for his boyfriend about to give him a blowjob.
Jeongguk shifts a little on the spot until he can reach down and palm his growing erection with one hand while palming Taehyung’s cock with the other. It twitches under his palm and he feels proud, so tempted to speak up and tease Taehyung because of course he would like this. He’s not the only one getting off on how shameless this is.
When he figured he teased him enough, Jeongguk unzipped Taehyung’s pants and rubbed lightly at the bulge straining his underwear, wetting his lips at the thought of having it in his mouth. He looks up only to see a thin line of sweat trailing down Tae’s forehead and he grabs his cock harshly once just to see him jump a little, fighting to keep his composure and not alert everyone to their activities. Tae looks down at him, the ‘ please ’ he can’t let out visible on his features.
Jeongguk decides to take pity on him.
He pushes his underwear as far down his ass as it can do without having to sit up and takes his pulsing dick in hand, stroking him lightly to provide some relief. Taehyung can barely keep his attention on the live and he struggles to explain some concept or other. Jeongguk hasn’t been paying attention. He’s quite occupied.
He watches a bead of precum gather at Taehyung’s tip and he feels his cock throb under his gaze. Jeongguk just can’t help himself and bends down to lap it up, closing his eyes in bliss at the bittersweet taste. Taehyung’s hips twitch at the sensation of Jeongguk’s tongue on his hot, sensitive flesh and he has to press down on his thighs to keep him still. Taehyung whimpers quietly.
“Stay still, baby, let me have a taste. You’re so hard ,” Jeongguk dares to whisper and doesn’t waste more time before wrapping his lips around the head, sucking like he would a lollipop. He gives a couple of kitten licks to the head, enjoying how heavy Taehyung’s length feels on his tongue and how it throbs for him every now and then.
He’s emboldened when Taehyung’s hands find their way in his hair under the table and he tugs lightly at his locks to push him down further on his cocks. Jeongguk takes the hint and smirks around him before going down on him all the way, his tip hitting the back of his throat and making him choke slightly. He takes a deep breath through his nose and places his hands on Tae’s wrist to assure him it’s okay to tug on his hair.
Taehyung doesn’t need to be shown twice because he snaps his hips up, starting to fuck his cock into Jeongguk’s mouth slowly. Jeongguk knows he’s holding back, whether to not hurt him or not to make it obvious to everyone watching he doesn’t know.
But Jeongguk’s a big boy. He can take it. So ignoring his own erection leaking in his underwear, he begins to bob his head up and down Taehyung’s cock, sucking with enthusiasm around his length. Precum is dripping down the side of his mouth and he almost gags when Taehyung speeds up a little, driving his cock into the back of his throat thrust by thrust. Jeongguk is so turned on that he almost sees stars. Taehyung’s hands in his hair are grounding, his grip harsh and unrelenting, holding him in place.
He’s given up talking to the fans down, contending to playing music and acting like he’s not fucking Jeongguk’s face under the table. The heat is scorching and it’s so wet and messy and dirty and Jeongguk can’t take it, he has to touch himself or he’ll explode with the hotness of it. He takes himself in hand and he strokes his hard dick at the same pace Taehyung’s fucking his mouth and he struggles to suck him off properly, swirling his tongue around his tip and lapping up the precum there like a meal.
When Taehyung pulls out all the way, Jeongguk prays he won’t start coughing. He already feels how sore his throat is going to be the next day but he can barely bring himself to care, taking lungfuls of air and getting himself back in check to the present. His dick is throbbing, screaming for release and there’s a string of precum connecting his lips to Taehyung’s cock. He bets he looks like a mess, dishevelled and ruined.
He smiles.
“ Fuck, ” Taehyung swears quietly, focused on him, focused on where they’re still somehow connected, his precum shining on Jeongguk’s swollen lips and Jeongguk can pinpoint the exact moment Taehyung’s composure completely snaps and he hastily says his goodbyes, closing the live and turning the camera off so fast you’d think someone had a gun to his head. “Fuck, come here,” he says, voice rough and deep sending shivers down Jeongguk’s spine.
Tae spreads his legs as much as he can, welcoming Jeongguk in between them, and he crawls closer to him, mouth open and tongue hanging out in invitation. Taehyung groans at the sight and the next thing Jeongguk knows, Taehyung’s dick is slapping on his tongue, once, twice, before being shoved inside. He moans around it, eyes rolling back in his head, and slurps up everything Taehyung gives him. This time Tae’s not playing around, thrusting sloppily inside his mouth, faster chasing his orgasm.
“So fucking dirty- such a dirty dirty boy-“ He manages to say, growling when Jeongguk sucks on his tip, teasing the prominent vein there. “Wanted to get your mouth fucked so bad that you had to drop on your knees while I was live? Fuck, Guk, wanted them to see how good you suck dick, huh? Your mouth is so warm, fuck, fuck-“
Jeongguk’s rapidly stroking his cock, feeling his release approaching with every thrust and every word out of Tae’s mouth. All he can do is nod and take it all, loving the rough treatment. Taehyung isn’t always like this so Jeongguk appreciates the little change in behaviour when he can. That isn’t to say he doesn’t love submissive Taehyung. No, that’s far from it. He just loves every side of him cause they’re all Taehyung anyway.
“I’m gonna come on your face. I’ll make a mess of you, Guk, fuck, you’ll look so pretty covered in my come.” Jeongguk moans around Taehyung’s dick and Tae groans at the vibrations it sends up his cock. He feels his hips stuttering and he pulls out quickly, fisting his cock a couple of times before loudly saying, “Open up for Hyung, Guk,” and shooting his load all over Jeongguk’s tongue and chin and cheeks. He strokes himself through his orgasm, watching Jeongguk’s eyelashes flutter with his cum sticking to them. Taehyung groans at the erotic sight.
Jeongguk watches how he lowers himself to his knees, now face to face with him and laps up some of his own come from his face before pushing his tongue inside Jeongguk’s mouth in a messy, dirty kiss that takes his breath away. Tae reaches out and takes Jeongguk’s heavy erection in hand, letting him thrust into his fist, all the while kissing desperately, swapping spit and cum and devouring each other with a hunger hard to explain. Everything is just too much, every sensation amplified by the knowledge of what they just did and Jeongguk comes just moments later in Taehyung’s hand, Taehyung’s name swallowed by his sweet lips.
Afterwards, after catching their breaths and cleaning themselves up, Jeongguk cuddles Taehyung on the couch, the movie on the TV acting as background noise while Taehyung dozes on his shoulder. “Do you think anyone could tell?” he asks aloud, feeling Tae shift a little to place his head on his chest.
“Tell what?” Taehyung looks up at him, confused before he takes one look at Jeongguk’s flustered face and immediately understands what he meant. “Uhm,” he chuckles nervously, “let’s say they could, but let’s hope they couldn’t.”
Jeongguk groans. “Tae-“
“Hey,” Taehyung hits him with a pillow, earning an incredulous look from Jeongguk. “You came up with that brilliant idea, own up to it!”
“As if you didn’t enjoy it, baby,” Jeongguk smirks and brings Taehyung back to his chest, nuzzling his face into his soft hair. “I’m just happy you feel better. I know it was risky but- I mean, even if someone did catch on to what was happening, then so what? They don’t have any proof.”
“Don’t think too hard about it, Guk, it happened and no one will know, now don’t tell me you wouldn’t do it again-“
Jeongguk interrupts him, holding a finger up, “Woah slow down, of course, I would do it again, although it can’t be good for my voice.”
“Well, maybe next time I can return the favour,” and honestly Jeongguk feels the excitement just from hearing Taehyung’s words. His boyfriend lays back on him and lets out a yawn so Jeongguk collects the blanket closest to them and drapes it over Taehyung’s body.
“Tired?” Jeongguk can’t help the concern that seeps through his voice.
“Mhm, just a little. I’m going to take a nap real quick, wake me if you get any more of those brilliant ideas of yours,” Taehyung jokes and Jeongguk can’t help but chuckle.
“As if. My brilliant ideas can wait for when you’re not tired anymore.”
“Ah, but Jeonggukie, I may be tired, but don’t you know I’m never tired of you?”
And honestly, if Jeongguk’s entire face lights up when he smiles, then no one has to know. Add it to the collection of other little secret moments that he holds dearest to his heart. Somehow they only contain Taehyung anyway.