Chapter Text
Chuuya, Yaku and Ren were still sitting in Yaku's case. And chuuya was about to get punished by Ren, under Yaku's observant gaze.
But then Dazai comes in, looking towards Yaku's case like he was searching for something, probably knowing what the three of them were doing. But his surprised expression says otherwise. He walks towards them.
"Master.. " Yaku says, making chuuya's head turn around. His back was to dazai so he didn't notice him coming in. He tries to get off Ren's lap but he grips him by the rope, keeping him in place. Chuuya wails. The dom ignores him and looks at the vampire.
"My lord. Welcome in. "
"I see the three of you are having fun, though this is a rather odd combination. You two don't usually like to play with each other. Is this because of chuuya ? He is a real dom magnet. "
Ren smiles, and Yaku rolls his eyes. Chuuya wishes he could disappear. So of all the luck, the two chose him to play with ? He didn't want to be their interest, he just wanted to be left alone. He silently prays for dazai to save him again.
"I'll come back to you two later." Dazai says,looking at chuuya and Ren. For now, I need to talk with yaku for a moment. "
The pet's brows furrow hearing his name.
"We aren't over yet. There are still things I wish to see. "
"I promise you what you'll hear will be a lot more pleasant. Come to my space. "
Dazai goes away before he gets an answer. Yaku sighs, sitting up.
"I guess that's it for our game today. You're lucky I won't watch you Ren. "
"You know i don't care whether you watch or not. It doesn't change anything to me"
"Doesn't it ? "
They gaze at each other for a few moments, trying to study the other's thoughts. Yaku looks at dazai's private space then decides he has no time to argue.
" Enjoy your time with your favorite while you still can, Ren."
And when Ren sees Yaku get farther away, closing the curtain of Dazai's private space, he can finally breathe right again. He rests his head against the wall, tired. Ren had been careful with the way he acted toward chuuya yet somehow Yaku still concluded that he was his favorite. That was sign of trouble. And to top it all, chuuya didn't want Ren to be anywhere near him so Ren couldn't protect him without hurting him.
He feels chuuya twitch in his lap. Right. He was so mean to him this whole time. He starts reminiscing, his heart tightening when he remembers the sub's begging.
Guilt spreads inside of his body, almost physically hurting him. He suddenly remembers chuuya's words, and his hearts starts aching again. He forgot about the hole inside of him because of Yaku, but now that sadness added to the guilt were poisoning him.
Chuuya looks at Ren who seemed lost in his thoughts although he was looking at him. The sub looks down, trying to avoid his gaze. He wanted to make himself as small as possible. He didn't want to be the center of attention or to be looked at right now.
Chuuya feels Ren's finger caress his forearm, sending shivers to his body.
"I'll untie your hands. "
Wasn't he going to be punished ? Or was it delayed to another time ? Chuuya was too afraid to ask.
Ren's movements are oddly slow when he does his job, like he was spacing out, thinking about some things. He mumbles.
"I'm sorry you had to go through this. "
Anger blooms inside of chuuya. How could he say that when he seemed like he was enjoying it? If he really was sorry then why did he even do it in the first place? Did he like humiliating and tormenting him that much ?
Chuuya stays silent, choosing to make sure his hands are free before having an outburst. When Ren finishes untying him, he rubs at his wrists as if to soothe the pain away. The sub winces.
"I knew this rope was hurtful, but damn it really leaves such a mark on you. "
Tears gather at the corner of chuuya's eyes.
"It was the same rope he used on me that time." he weakly says. Then, louder: " If you knew it hurt why did you tie me with it ? And why so tight?"
The only answer Ren offers him is silence. He has an absent-minded look. What could he be thinking of right now ?
"Say something Ren."
The dom looks at him. Chuuya doesn't like his look. He's pitying him.
"I'm sorry. "
That angers chuuya even more.
"That won't do it for me. I want to know why you did that. "
"I had to. "
Chuuya laughs.
"No you didn't. You did it because you enjoyed it."
Ren opens his mouth like he was going to say something, but then closes it and looks away. He's not denying. Chuuya's heart skips a beat. He's not denying. He reaches out a bit, wanting to take Ren by his shoulders and shake him until he was back to his old self again. But he stops his hand midway, fear still coursing through his body. He couldn't touch him without permission.
"You can touch me chuuya. Do what you want to me. Please touch me." he says in a weird tone.
Chuuya gulps down, retracting his hand to his chest and holding it with the other. His voice is barely a whisper.
"I can't.. "
"Chuuya.. " Ren says in a sad tone.
Chuuya puts his palms on his own face, hiding himself,sniffing, crying again.
"This isn't fair. You're not fair.. You can't just scare me, tie my hands, use me then ask me to touch you again. Not after.. not after what you made me go through. You were horrible. You were so cruel to me. I'm so mad at you. "
"You should be. I really was cruel. "
Chuuya grits his teeths. He takes his own clothes in an angry grip still uncounsiously afraid of Ren to do that to him instead. He hated the way Ren was passively accepting everything chuuya was saying, not denying any of it or trying to defend himself.
" You knew. You knew what I was feeling. You knew that you were hurting me. You hurt me on purpose. "
" I did. "
Chuuya gulps down, not believing how insensitive and apathetic Ren was. His grip gets tighter on the clothes but he doesn't know what else to do to convey his feelings. Why did it feel like chuuya was the only one feeling something between the both of them ?
Ren takes chuuya's hands, making the sub flinch. But he puts them on his own throat, looking intensly at chuuya.
"Hurt me back. "
"What ? "
"I hurt you. It's only normal for you to want to hurt me and punish me for it. "
Punish ?
"I.. I don't want to. "
"Do it. Tighten your hands around my throat. Strangle me. Let me feel pain. The same pain that I caused you. "
"Ren.. " chuuya is taken aback, his anger turning into confusion. He was mad but that didn't mean he wanted to hurt Ren. Or strangle him.
"Please do it chuuya. I'm feeling too much right now, I think I might burst from everything. Strangle me. I need it."
Chuuya isn't sure what to do. But Ren's eyes are pleading, like he really wanted the redhead to do this to him. And he was angry at him after all.
So he does. He tightens his grip around his throat, making Ren's eyes close in pain.
When the dom starts coughing a bit, that's it for chuuya. He definetely can't stand hurting someone else.
"Why did you stop ? "
"I.. I can't do this. "
"Why not ? I hurt you. You should want to hurt me too. Come on, strangle me. Strangle me. chuuya please . "
The sub's eyes widen.
"Why do you want me to hurt you ? "
Ren looks away. That's unusual. He inhales.
"You know I'm a switch chuuya. I've been a dom for this past few days. Earlier, I felt the need to dominate and hurt you, like any dom. But this overwhelming feeling of guilt took over me and i'm feeling too many emotions that I don't understand and that are hurting me. I'm starting to switch. Do you understand what this means ? "
Chuuya shakes his head. Ren puts his arm over his eyes.
"It means I'm feeling like a fucking masochist and I'm craving pain . I want you to hurt me chuuya. I want you to break me and destroy me. To dominate me to the marrow of my bones."
Those words..
"You're acting like a sub. "
He sees Ren's lips stretch into a smile.
"Yeah.. that's what it means to switch. I was a dom and now i'm a sub. I'm a freaking disgusting switch. A bipolar freak like Yaku said."
Chuuya inhales, overwhelmed by the realisation.
First Ren wanted to hurt chuuya.
Now he wants to be hurt by chuuya.
How is that even possible ?
Ren inhales deeply, trying to calm the urges of his body. Chuuya was sitting on him, and he wanted nothing more than for his weight to suffocate him. He wanted chuuya to take him apart, have revenge and hurt him back.
Calm down. I can't bother chuuya with my needs. I have to get it together and supress them. No one likes or understands switches.
Ren puts his arm down from his eyes, and looks at him with normal neutral eyes, and not pleading ones like ealier. Like this change never happened.
"I'm sorry. It's cruel of me to ask a sub to dom someone. Forget about it. "
There's an acid taste in chuuya's mouth when he hears that. The redhead feels disappointed with himself. He couldn't dom Haru last time and ended up hurting him. So does that mean that Ren will feel hurt because he wasn't dominated ?
But even if he wanted to, chuuya couldn't do it. He wasn't suited to be a dom. Last time made it clear.
"I'm sorry for what happened today. You can go if you want to. "
Chuuya doesn't really move. He looks at Ren thinking. If you paid attention to it, there was some change in his voice. It wasn't his usual deep commanding one. He didn't order him but he rather proposed him something.
Was he really feeling like a sub ?
Chuuya has a hard time believing it.
Ren was avoiding his gaze.
Stop looking at me.
Please stop looking at me like that if you're not going to do anything. Act on it. Have me. Own me .
His body was twitching. Ren hated how he felt right now. He was on thin ice, between his need to dom and to be dommed. His hand trembled, wanting to be restrained, or to pin someone else.
He was filled with contradictory needs that made him hurt.
As much as he felt like he wanted to be a sub, he knew he couldn't act that way with chuuya. So he tries to make the dom in him win this battle.
He looks up at chuuya with a firm look on his face.
"Get up. "
Chuuya flinches, surprised by the shift.
"Ren.. "
He lifts his head up and tries to make his voice sound as confident as usual.
" Get up right now if you don't want me to spank you chuuya. "
A shiver goes down the sub's body from the threat.
Yeah. This is good. I love it when you're all afraid and anxious like this. Ren thinks, feeling his dom urges coming back again.
Ren was going from one extreme to another. From masochist to sadist. Both of those sides were part of him.
Tonight though he had to supress his submissive side for the sake of chuuya. Being a dom was too much responsability for ones who weren't used to it.
Ren exhales when chuuya's weight finally leaves his body. He really couldn't think straight when he was around. He had to take this time alone to calm down and go back to his senses.
Unfortunately he had no time for that to happen.
"Well what do we have here ? Don't go yet chuuya, the show is just about to start. "
Ren flinches when he hears that voice. Dazai.
He looks panicked into his direction, and realises that he knows. Dazai always knows. He knows the change that is happening right now in Ren's body and mind.
"My lord.." he says.
He gets up but doesn't have the time to move that the vampire grabs his throat and violently pushes him on the wall behind him, cutting his breath.
"None of that right now Ren. Call me how I like to be called. "
Ren grits his teeth, feeling dizzy from the strong grip. Dazai was gripping him hard enough to hurt but left some space for him to breathe enough to be able to talk.
"Master.. please.. " he says, fisting his short.
"Yes, call me like that Ren. I love it when my pets are honest and respectful. Although you're not being very honest with yourself right now are you ? "
" Master.."
Dazai tilts his head. He puts his knee between Ren's legs. He stops strangling him and grabs his black long hair and pulls at it instead.
"Come on Ren. Don't tell me your time as a dom made you forget the rules. I don't like being ignored when I'm asking a question. Shouldn't you as the one with the most experience set the example for chuuya who is watching us right now ? "
Ren glances from the corner of his eye at chuuya who is looking at the ground and glancing at them from time to time.
"I'm sorry master. " Ren says.
Dazai smiles and lets his hand travel around Ren's neck, without applying any pressure. The pet gasps, loving his touch. His body feeling needy.
"Show chuuya how special of a pet you are Ren. Come on, Switch."
Ren gulps down.
"Master, please.. I don't want to. "
"You don't want to ? If I'm not mistaken, you were the one begging to be strangled earlier, weren't you ? "
Ren closes his eyes in shame. Damn his vampire hearing.
"Yes I was. "
"And did you like it ? The way I grabbed you and pushed you into the wall ? Be honest. "
"Yes master. Yes I liked it. But I.. "
Dazai pulls harder at his hair, making Ren wail.
"I think you've been getting too much freedom lately Ren. You've been playing around with pets, doing whatever you want. You forgot your place. Should I remind you of it ? "
"No master. I'm sorry. I swear I didn't forget it. "
"Really ? Then what is your place ? "
Ren knows this scenario oh too well. He knew exactly what answer the vampire was looking for.
"At your feet master. I belong to you . "
"There's so much strain in your voice. It's almost as if you're forcing the words out. As if you don't believe what you're saying. "
Tears gather at the corner of his eyes. Ren felt suddenly overwhelmed by contradictory emotions. He doesn't want to submit to his master because he knows his freedom, what little he has of it,will be taken away. But at the same he craved it. Craves his master attention and to be disciplined.
"That can't be right. " the vampire continues.
"Do I really not mean much to you anymore ? "
"No master. Please don't say things like that. I just feel.. I feel so lost. "
Dazai's hand was still hovering over Ren's throat, and the pet whished he would just strangle him. He wanted to pass out. To run away from his thoughts. From his feelings.
"Tell me what you're feeling Ren. What's your body telling you ? "
"It hurts... it's confusing. I can't stand it. "
"You've been shouldering the responsability of being a dom for too long haven't you ? Let go of them. I can feel you're on the verge of breaking. You're bottling up too many emotions. Be my sub again and i'll free you from them. Look at me Ren. "
The pet obeys. The vampire' eyes are a shining red and he is close to Ren's lips, arousing the pet.
"Good boy. You're mine Ren. You belong to me. Your only purpose is serving your master. Serving me. Say it. Say you're mine . "
" Master.. I'm yours. "
"Obey Ren . Let me overpower you. Let me remind you why I am the one that owns you. Why I am the only one who knows how to take care of you. "
And a tear finally falls down Ren's face, breaking his dom side, revealing his sub aspect. He closes his eyes for an instant. Met with an order,he looses the fight.He feels himself switching.
He found his master again. His one true master.
It's been a month and a half since he could submit to him. He missed him so much. He felt so free with this realisation. He felt like he was finally sane again.
He opens his eyes again. This time, they're full of submission.
"Master. Please have me. Please strangle me. Please kill my emotions and make me only think about pleasing you. Please remind me I'm yours. Remind me of my place. "
And here he was, begging for the very thing he was dreading moments ago.
"I knew you were always a good boy. Show me that you know your place. "
Dazai takes two steps back, and this distance is killing Ren. He wanted him closer. Touching, strangling, invading. But he had to be good in order to obtain that.
Ren drops down on his knees. He opens them and puts his hands between his legs while looking up at dazai with an innocent alluring face.
Dazai smiles, visibly satisfied and that is enough to make joy bloom inside of Ren's chest. He loved making his master happy. He would do anything he asks if it meant pleasing him.
"Come here chuuya. Look at how beautiful Ren is when he is a sub. "
There's a pinch in Ren's heart when he hears his name. And when he sees chuuya next to dazai, looking at him with a mixture of surprise, confusion and other feelings, he can't help but look down.
His two loves were in front of him at once.
And tha confuses him so much right now. He never felt this lost.
Dazai grabs Ren's hair, making him yelp and look up at them again.
"Who said you could look away from your master? Are you getting distracted Ren ? Focus on me. "
"I know master. I'm sorry. "
"This calls for a lesson. Doesn't it ? "
Ren's heartbeat gets faster. He fists his hands.
"Am I going to be punished ? "
Dazai smiles and drops down to be at his level. He brings his lips frustratingly close to Ren's.
"Would you like to be punished ? "
"I.. i don't know..."
Dazai's lips travel down his neck, teasing his skin. It's been so long since Ren was punished by Dazai. He missed it. He craved it. He dreaded it. He feels dazai's fang on his skin, grazing it.
Bite it. Bite me. Tear through my skin. Drink my blood. Please use me master.
"Did you miss me Ren ? "
"Yes I did. I missed you master. "
Dazai comes closer to whisper in his ear.
"Are you craving my touch ? Are you imagining my hands all over you, just like before? Are you planning to be a good boy so you can let your master enjoy his little pet thing ? "
"Yes. I'm your little plaything master. Please use me. "
"Tell me what you want Ren. "
"I want.. I want. " what does he want ? He's not sure himself. He never knows what he is feeling. But since he became dazai's pet, understanding his messed up feelings became an obligation.
Normally vampires couldn't care less about pet's wants, or feelings .
But dazai did. He would always ask Ren what he felt. But unlike what it seemed, it wasn't in that sweet, endearing caring way. It was a means to torment Ren even more. He had to think hard about it, to sort them out and say the correct one. In a short amount of time, to not make his master lose patience. And damn him if he was wrong, or tried to lie.
And sometimes, being honest about his feelings laid him bare; even more than any punishement. It was hellish either way.
Being dazai's pet was hellish. And Ren grew to love it. To crave it.
Right now, because he spent much time away from dazai, he knows that the vampire asking him about what he wants is a means to torment him.
But give it some time, and dazai would shape his mindset as he saw fit. He'd start thinking once more that dazai was asking about his feelings because he cared, not because he wanted to torment him.
"I want you master. Please. I missed you. "
"Well this is a scene that we haven't seen in such a long time master. "
Ren winces when he hears that voice. Kana.
Great. As if his life wasn't already confusing enough without having to add her to the mix.
Dazai stands up and kana bows a little in front of her master. She comes closer to Ren and lifts his chin by her finger, her nail pointing dangerously in his throat.
"You look so lovely on your knees Ren. Don't you ? "
Ren wanted nothing more than to tell her to fuck off. But he obviously couldn't when he was a sub, with his master playfully waiting for his answer to punish him if he did what he knew he wanted to do. He wanted to ignore her but he already got warned once about not answering. He couldn't make the same mistake twice. Fortunately, in that matter Ren was never at loss for words.
"Of course I do Kana-san. I always look lovely. You just can have a better look at me when I am like this. "
The switch from calling her kana to kana-san makes him sick but Ren is satisfied when he can see it in her face that she wants to slap him. She technically had the power to, but he wasn't the only one who couldn't misbehave when dazai was present.
He can't repress a smug smile that grows deeper when she glares at him. But then she suddenly also smiles.
"Yes you're right Ren. You're always beautiful. In fact, I'm going to give you a little gift so you can stay that way. "
She says, caressing his hair and Ren has to fight the urge to stop her.
She turns around to face dazai.
"Master, can I talk to you for a minute ? About the gift. "
Ren feels anxious about what Kana was talking about. He barely even switched and now two doms were out to play with him. Ha hated playing with Kana.
Dazai was curious about what Kana had planned.
"Alright Kana. Ren, go to my room first and prepare yourself like usual. Chuuya, you're dismissed. "
Chuuya thought they forgot all about him being here with how much they ignored him. Not that he would complain. He narrowly escaped another rough night, but it seemed that Ren was going to have a rough one instead.