Chapter Text
When Max leaves Mike alone in his bedroom after their little Will-centric conversation, he goes to lay back down in bed, staring up at the ceiling as he thinks.
After a few short minutes, the conclusion he comes to is that, unfortunately, Max was probably right.
Not that Mike would ever tell her that. God, he didn't even want to begin to imagine just how insufferable she would act if he did. She was already pretty intolerable most of the time and he wasn't trying to add fuel to the fire.
But how else could he explain to Will why he had been acting like such an asshole? She was right (he hated just thinking about it), Will would want to know the truth. Hell, he deserved to know the truth, even if it might end incredibly embarrassingly for Mike.
Embarrassment was worth it, though. It was worth getting Will back in his life, to be his friend again. To get the chance of making Will happy, like he used to.
Mike was willing to do a lot for that.
He turns over in his bed, stuffing his face into his pillow and breathing in deeply. Suddenly it felt like he had the biggest headache in the world.
"Mike, honey, it's time for dinner!" His mom shouts from somewhere downstairs, voice barely loud enough to be heard through his closed door.
His headache only doubles, and he groans without making any attempts at getting up. Sitting around and making polite conversation with his family was probably the last thing he wanted to do.
"Coming!" He yells anyway, moving his face out of his pillow but still laying down in bed. It was going to take him a couple of minutes to muster the strength to get up.
As much as he wants to blame his now sour mood on Max — because she was the one who put all of these thoughts in the storefront of his brain — there's a part of him that resentfully realizes he needs to deal with his shitty feelings before they take over him completely. Before Will realizes he's a jealous douchebag not worth being friends with.
And that's his biggest motivator — he doesn't want to lose Will. Mike will embarrass himself over and over just to get to have Will by his side again, smiling and laughing at him like they're still the best friends they used to be.
—
Mike can't figure out for the life of him how to bring up the conversation with Will.
He doesn't want to do it at school, but lately that's the only time Mike ever even sees Will. The party hasn't hung out all together in a little bit, and after the last argument Mike and Will had, he can't exactly imagine Will biking on over to his house after school to have sleepovers.
But at school there's Jake, and recently it seems like Will is attached to him at the hip. Like wherever Will is, Jake is right beside him, his stupid, charming smile captivating all of Will's attention.
And Mike has been trying his hardest to be kind to Jake. It's taking everything in him to even smile at the guy, but he's really trying, and he hopes Will can tell. Because he's not sure how much longer he can last, practically being able to see the love radiating off of Will every time Jake wraps his arm around him. It's even more painful now than it was before.
Almost worse is the way Max has started to look at him ever since they talked, some sort of expression torn between pity and frustration.
It's all the time, too. They'll all just be eating together in the cafeteria (Jake, too, much to Mike's dismay), and she watches him the same way she regards the food on her plate, like she wants to dissect him to figure out what's inside.
Maybe she thinks she's being discrete about it, or maybe she thinks Mike is too oblivious to notice at all, but it's starting to freak him out.
How is he supposed to get a chance to talk to Will when Jake is always around, and how is he supposed to find the confidence to do it when Max looks at him like she already knows it'll end badly?
Mike is really, really tired.
—
Just like many afternoons over the past week, Mike is wallowing by himself in his room.
It seems that the only thing his brain can think about is Will, which is stupid, because thinking about Will just makes Mike feel shitty, and why the hell would his brain want to make him feel shitty? Weren’t they on the same team?
He sighs heavily and turns onto his side, staring at the wall. Today Mike hadn't even seen Will once. In their shared science class, Will sits in the back and Mike sits in the front (they were separated at the beginning of the year for talking too much), so he didn't see him then. He also wasn't at lunch, and neither was Jake.
The thought of whatever they could've been doing together during that period has made Mike feel nauseous ever since.
Suddenly he hears a knock on the front door, interrupting the spiral he was about to fall down. It's quickly followed by his mom shouting up at him, "Mike, could you get the door?"
He rolls his eyes, sitting up begrudgingly. After he manages to pull himself out of bed, he shuffles over to his door, opening it before walking through.
"Why can't you?" He shouts back, despite the fact that he's already planning on doing it anyway. He walks through the hallway and starts down the stairs.
"I'm making dinner!" She responds, and as he finishes walking down the stairs and passes the kitchen, he catches a glimpse of her running around, one pot in each hand. Despite the fact that she actually is busy, Mike still makes sure she catches his annoyed stare.
He walks up to the front door and opens it, expecting pretty much anything other than what he's greeted with.
Will is standing there, looking off to the side and holding some sort of dish wrapped in tinfoil. He looks nervous and unsure of himself, two classic Will characteristics that Mike rarely saw when it was just the two of them. Well, until recently.
His eyes turn to meet Mike's once the door is open, and Mike watches as disappointment fills his features. Which stings, because Will was the one randomly showing up at his door, so who else did he expect to see? Nancy?
"Oh, I, uh—," Will starts, stuttering over himself as he holds the dish up higher, like it's any explanation. "My mom wanted me to give this to your mom as a thank you, since she's practically been babysitting me for the past five years."
"Oh," Mike says, because he can't think of anything else to say. "Uh, that's random."
Thankfully Will cracks a small smile at that, and there's still some tension in the air, but it's just a little bit less than before. "Yeah," Will agrees, "She's just really been into baking casseroles lately, so I think she's looking for excuses to give them out to people."
Mike nods and reaches over to take the food from Will, hands wrapping under the dish and bringing it close to his chest.
"It's probably really bad, so don't feel bad about not eating it." Will adds, and Mike only nods again, staring down at the casserole intently.
He had so much he wanted to say to Will, but now that he was standing in front of him, Mike's mind was blank.
The silence between them was starting to become unbearable, and although Mike was usually good at talking just to make noise, it felt like his mouth was stuck shut. He looks back up at Will helplessly, hoping Will could somewhat understand him.
Will is wearing a similar look of helplessness. "I told my mom she should've come instead of me, because of where we last left things off—,"
"No!" Mike almost shouts, causing Will to jump slightly in front of him. "I mean, uh, no, it's—," Mike can feel the words colliding together in his mouth, so he pauses to take a breath. "It's—, it's good to see you, Will. I'm glad you came."
It feels good to say it, and it feels even better when Will smiles in response, still small and not as big as it used to be, but at least it's there.
And suddenly Mike realizes that he needs to just start talking before Will waves goodbye and he never gets the chance to speak with him one-on-one again.
"Actually, uh, could we talk?" Mike asks, hoping he doesn't sound as eager as he is.
Will nods hesitantly, smile slightly slipping.
Mike looks back briefly into his house while he closes the door behind him, casserole still in hand. This wasn't really a conversation he wanted his mom to be eavesdropping on.
Once he turns back to face Will, he almost loses all his nerve. Will's big, shining eyes are like a stab to Mike's heart. He looks like he's willing to hear every word Mike has to say, despite how little Mike feels he deserves it.
Then Mike notices his hair, ruffled and windswept from the bike ride here, and Mike can picture running his hands through it. The freckles shaping his face start to stand out, too. Everything about him, all at once, feels highlighted.
And Mike, half out of his mind and frankly a bit overwhelmed, feels like Will's never been prettier than now, standing in front of him on his front porch.
"I—," he cuts himself off, not even sure where to start, "I've been acting like a dickhead to you. And I'm really, really sorry. It's only because—,"
The words catch in his throat. He remembers his conversation with Max, when she had told him Will would love him no matter what. And the way Will's looking at him now, he starts to believe her.
"I sort of, uh, have feelings for you."
Will's eyes go wide, mouth opening and closing and then opening again. It would be really endearing if Mike wasn't scared out of his mind.
"You—, what?" Will asks, sounding genuinely surprised, staring at Mike like he was speaking another language. "Feelings?"
Mike tilts his head to the side, heartbeat suddenly sounding so loud he wouldn't be surprised if Will could hear it. "Yeah, like, the romantic kind."
In the silence that follows, that's when Mike realizes he had just confessed his feelings for his best friend while holding tightly onto a casserole, of all things. He looks down at it for a moment, feeling that he looks like an idiot.
"Since when?" Will asks, voice sounding small. Mike glances up at him and sees something he wasn't expecting to see in his eyes — defeat.
"Uh," Mike starts, looking up at the sky for a moment, trying to figure out how to answer. "Well, I think it maybe started when you and Jake got together? Or, maybe even earlier, but I only really started noticing it then."
Horrifyingly, when Mike looks back down to meet Will's eyes again, he sees that the other boy looks like he's on the verge of tears. Which was exactly the opposite of what Mike was trying to do.
"Mike," Will starts, sounding exasperated, "What am I supposed to do with this?"
Feeling scared about the path the conversation was falling down, Mike just shrugs, afraid of saying something wrong. "Max just told me I should tell you. She said you deserve to know the truth about why I've been so shitty."
"Well, yeah, but I have a boyfriend, Mike." Will says defensively, and maybe Mike is just trying to hear things that he wants to hear, but he swears Will's saying it like he needs to remind himself, too, not just Mike. "You can't just spring this on me and expect me to drop everything for you."
"No, I know." Mike says firmly, feeling the weight of the casserole starting to bear on him. "I'm not telling you to break up with him, I'm just telling you so that you know I was only a douchebag because I was jealous. And I'm trying not to be jealous anymore, because it's selfish."
He thinks Max would be proud of him if she could hear this conversation, and that's what's holding him over. Here he was, being mature and saying things that were pretty reasonable, at least to him.
"Okay, good." Will replies, crossing his arms. It didn't sound good, though, he sounded angry. "Because I'm not—, I'm not breaking up with him."
And it's not like Mike expected them to break up or anything, but the words still make his stomach twist in discomfort. He tries not to let it show on his face, though. "That's fine."
When Will doesn't answer, Mike searches his eyes for some indication on how he's feeling, but Will's become closed off. Totally unreadable.
"We're good, right?" Mike asks, dread swirling in his stomach, already knowing the answer.
In front of him, Will nods hastily. "Yeah, fine."
They stare at each other for a few moments, and because Mike really can't stand another silence (and the casserole is starting to feel really heavy), he holds up the dish with a forced smile. "Well, thanks."
Will nods and smiles as well, but his is just as forced as Mike's. He thinks they can both tell, they just both don't know what to do about it.
Then Will promptly turns around and starts walking towards his bike in the driveway, and Mike doesn't waste a second to open up the front door and walk back into his own house. He wanted to get as far away from the conversation as he could.
Once he closes the door, all he does is stare down at the casserole. He just then notices a message written in sharpie on the tinfoil, a small Thanks for everything! and a smiley face. It's Will's handwriting.
"Who was it, dear?" His mom asks, and he follows the sound of her voice into the kitchen, still looking down at the dish.
"Will. His mom made this for us." He answers, placing the dish onto the closest counter he can reach. His mom, now holding a spatula, walks over and looks down at it, smiling.
"The Byers are a sweet bunch, huh?" She asks, nudging his shoulder lightly before going back to whatever it was she was cooking.
He doesn't bother answering, because his mind is still back on the front porch, focused on the way Will had been looking up at him.
—
The following week, Mike is pretty sure Will is avoiding him. Maybe it wasn't intentional, but it sure as hell felt like it.
First of all, Will won't even sit next to him at lunch anymore. Dustin has taken Will's usual seat next to Mike, which, maybe Dustin just wanted to switch things up and change the dynamic of the lunch table, but Mike doubts it. There's no way it could just be coincidence that it happened right after their last conversation.
Even when the whole party hangs out, Will's always on the opposite side of the room from Mike. It's so unlike them, they weren't even this bad when Jake and Will had first started dating. At least they still talked then.
They haven't had a real conversation since the one with the casserole.
It makes Mike feel miserable.
Maybe he shouldn't have said anything. Maybe Max was actually wrong, and telling Will about his feelings was the one thing that could actually end their friendship. If he would've just kept his feelings to himself, then maybe things wouldn't be weird and distant between them.
But — and Mike doesn't even want to admit this to himself — maybe he had been secretly hoping that telling Will would've unlocked the same feelings Mike has inside of Will. That Will would've broken up with Jake right then and there, sealing the deal with a kiss on Mike's cheek and a promise to stay for dinner.
That was a selfish thing to want, though. Will is happy with Jake, and recently Mike has been feeling less and less confident that he could make Will just as happy as Jake does.
Because Jake is tall. Taller than Mike by about two inches. He's also stronger than Mike, that's obvious, and he's got the kind of smile that charms just about everyone he meets. White and blinding, the type Mike would see in the movies.
He's kind, too. Not as kind as Will (Mike's not sure anyone is) but the kind of sweet that makes him a good boyfriend. He remembers Will's schedule, walks him to class, and tries to care about all the nerdy stuff that Will likes.
He's perfect. And Mike is, well, he's not. He gets grumpy easily and sometimes he gets too competitive when he plays arcade games, and one year when he was dating El he almost forgot Will's birthday.
Thinking about it for more than five minutes makes Mike feel like his heart is burning a hole into his chest, so he tries not to.
He needs to talk to Max again, a phrase he never thought he would say in his life. But there was no one else he could talk to about everything, and he didn't think he could keep shouldering all of it alone. As pathetic and stupid as it sounded.
—
Mike never actually ends up talking to Max.
He means to, and he's going over the plan on when and where to approach her (and how to talk about his feelings without sounding like a complete loser) as he's walking to english class when he's interrupted by Will's voice from behind him:
"Mike!" Will shouts, and Mike whips around in the hallway, ignoring the annoyed stares from the people who had been walking behind him as he stills in place.
Will is running through the hallway to reach him, pushing past people at their lockers and stepping in front of slow walkers. He reaches Mike out of breath, but he's smiling, and Mike feels incredibly thrown off guard.
"We need to talk," Will pants out, and it feels like it's been years since Mike has seen Will smile at him like he is now. The sight alone is enough to make Mike smile back, nodding enthusiastically.
"Okay," Mike says, and the second the word is out of his mouth Will grabs onto his wrist, pulling him into the opposite direction of his english class.
He lets himself get dragged along the hallway by Will, head buzzing and hand feeling hot at the point of intersection between his skin and Will's. He has to remind himself to keep walking so he doesn't stumble over and fall onto Will.
All of a sudden Will takes a sharp turn into an emptier hallway, and right when Mike thinks they've finally found a place to talk, Will keeps walking until they're standing in front of a closed door.
Mike watches as Will opens it, not letting go of Mike as he tugs the both of them into the tiny closet, closing the door behind them.
The stark contrast of the stuffy, dark room they now found themselves in compared to the busy, crowded hallway they had been in not even thirty seconds ago is making Mike's head spin. His mind is still trying to catch up to the idea that Will wants to talk to him.
"Why are we in the janitor's closet?" Mike asks dumbly, looking up at the shelves full of chemicals and the various mops and brooms standing up against the walls. It's not exactly the first place Mike would think to have a conversation in.
His eyes are brought back to Will when the shorter laughs in front of him. It causes Mike's chest to feel warm, because when was the last time he made Will laugh?
"It's private," Will starts, tucking his head into his shoulder as he shrugs, "We don't have to worry about people interrupting us because no one's gonna come barging into the janitor's closet."
What would they be interrupting? Mike wants to ask, the warmth from his chest starting to spread to his face. He doesn't say that, though, he just nods down at Will, hoping he can't see how red his face has gotten in the dimly lit room. "Oh, okay."
He's met with silence. Then Will takes a deep breath in front of him and quickly says, "I broke up with Jake."
Mike blinks at him, not fully processing what he's said. "What?"
Will stares back, eyes shining. "Jake and I, we broke up."
Vaguely, Mike realizes that a smile has started to form on his face. He has to fight to stop it from completely taking over, though, because holy shit, Will and Jake broke up.
"Oh, I'm sorry, Will." Mike tries, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. "I—, that sucks. What, uh, what happened?"
He's not a great actor, and given the fact that Will knows about Mike's feelings for him and his general hatred for Jake, he's not sure who he's trying to fool. It was mainly an attempt at not acting selfish, and trying to put Will's happiness before his own.
"The other day we had a really long conversation about—," Will stops for a moment, briefly looking down at the ground before meeting Mike's eyes again. "About you."
And, well, Mike can't tell what that means. But the way the mood of the janitor's closet had shifted, he's starting to feel anxious.
"All good things, I hope," Mike says, attempting to lighten the mood by smiling hesitantly.
Will returns his smile with a nervous one of his own, shrugging again. "Well, I told him that you told me you liked me."
Mike's eyes widen and it feels like his heart skips a beat. "Oh god, he doesn't want to beat me up, does he?"
He's joking (kind of), and it feels good to watch Will laugh again in front of him, shaking his head in what Mike wants to believe is fondness.
"No, he doesn't." Will replies, smiling widely. "He was actually sort of defending you, to be honest."
"Defending me?" Mike asks, sincerely surprised. He can't imagine a world in which Jake would ever want to defend him.
Will glances off to the side where the door is, looking sheepish. "Yeah, uh, I was pretty mad after you told me, and when I was talking about it to Jake, he said you probably had good intentions."
It feels like Mike's brain has stopped working. He should be focusing on the fact that Jake was actually being nice to him, despite everything Mike had done to him (mostly just talking shit behind his back), but he can't get past the part where Will said he was angry.
Because Mike could tell that Will had been mad after their last conversation, but he didn't understand why. Out of all of the reactions Will could have had — disgust, discomfort, maybe even pity — that one made the least sense.
"Why were you mad?" Mike asks, voice quiet, even to his own ears.
Will meets his eyes, face turning serious once again. "I—," He takes a breath, and Mike doesn't think he's ever seen Will so distraught, nerves practically pouring out of him. "Because I've liked you, Mike, for years."
Mike barely gets the chance to wrap his head around the words when Will keeps going, no longer sounding nervous:
"And it hurt so much when you were dating El, but I—, I still never told you! I didn't want to put myself between you two or ruin our friendship."
He still hasn't fully comprehended the main part of what Will was saying. Will had liked him, all the way back then?
Will crosses his arms, leaning forward. "And then the moment I start dating someone, suddenly you start liking me? And then you tell me? Like, just when I've started to try and move on, you find a way to complicate everything and make me second guess my feelings for Jake, and—,"
Without thinking Mike places a hand on Will's shoulder, and Will stops talking immediately. Then they're just staring at each other, and Mike needs to say something, but he can barely focus with the way Will's looking at him.
"Will, I—," He shakes his head, like that'll help clear his thoughts. "I didn't know."
With the same soft eyes as before, like all the anger had already dissipated away, Will stares up at him. "Yeah, you're kind of oblivious."
Mike cracks a smile, not moving his hand away from Will. "You were always the brains out of the two of us."
"Still am," Will replies, returning Mike's smile with a soft grin of his own, and wow, Mike has missed being on the receiving end of one of Will Byers' smiles. It felt fucking amazing.
"You are." Mike says, knowing he practically has hearts in his eyes but not really caring. "Will, you—,"
He takes his hand off of Will and looks down for a moment, because if he thought he liked Will before, when he was dating Jake, it was nothing compared to what he felt right now. Having Will in front of him, happy and smiling and beaming up at him, it was all Mike had ever wanted, for as long as he can remember.
"You broke up with Jake," Mike remembers, turning to look back at Will. "And you—, you used to like me?"
It feels surreal to even say it, even if Will's feelings were past tense.
Will rolls his eyes in front of him, still smiling as he lightly pushes on Mike's shoulder. "I still like you, idiot. That's why I broke up with Jake."
And, oh. Oh.
"You—," Mike can't even get any words out, feeling dazed. "You, what?"
Will laughs again as he nods, and Mike suddenly feels warm and fuzzy everywhere, like he's just stepped into the face of the sun. Looking down at Will, it's basically like he has.
"Oh." Mike says aloud.
"Oh." Will repeats, like he's mocking Mike, but there's no malice in his tone. Only endearment.
Mike doesn't think he's capable of saying any other words, and on their own volition his eyes slip down to Will's lips for a moment, noticing Will's laugh turn into a small, self-conscious smile.
The moment he catches his gaze falling he looks back up and sees that Will's eyes have locked onto Mike's lips, too, and suddenly there's a heat in Mike's stomach that makes him feel dizzy.
Will likes him back. The thought plays in his head on loop.
Mike places his hand back on Will's shoulder, breaking Will's trance away from Mike's lips. As they lock eyes, Mike thinks they're finally able to understand each other without saying anything, like they used to.
So he leans in.
He tries to move slow in order to give Will space to turn away, but it proves to be pointless because Will meets him where he is almost instantly, hands coming to wrap around the back of Mike's neck as their lips meet.
Mike feels goosebumps where Will's hands connect with his skin, fingers playing with the hair on the nape of his neck. It feels almost as good as Will's lips on his, soft and sort of strawberry-flavored and pretty much exactly what Mike had imagined it to feel like.
Better than he had imagined it, actually. Hazily, in the back of his mind, he thinks about how stupid he was to not try this earlier.
"Mike," Will breathes, pulling away, and they had barely even kissed but Mike already feels out of breath, bringing his other hand up to cup Will's face.
"Yeah?" Mike asks, itching to kiss him again, wanting to do it over and over for the rest of his life.
Will blinks up at him, looking like the picture perfect definition of tenderness, and Mike almost actually forgets how to breathe. "I just can't believe this is real." Will says, voice quiet in the small closet.
"You're telling me." Mike replies, running his thumb across Will's cheek, eyes following the movement. "I thought I was doomed to be pouting over you and Jake for the rest of my life."
Maybe he shouldn't be bringing up Jake when he was the main source of anguish between Mike and Will over these past couple of months, but Will doesn't seem to mind. He just smiles easily, leaning into Mike's touch.
"I was only with him ‘cause I was trying to move on from you," Will says, shaking his head. "I mean, when he asked me out at first, I was definitely into him. But then you were pulling away from me and acting weird, which was making me worried, and—,“
He looks down at the ground, shrugging.
“And even when I was in a relationship you were still the most important thing in my life.”
The most important thing in his life. Again Mike feels stupid for not seeing Will earlier like he does now. How had he missed it? And almost more importantly, how did he live without it?
Mike leans down to capture Will's lips in another kiss, feeling like fireworks are exploding in his chest. This one is less urgent, though — more sweet and gentle — and Mike hopes Will can understand what he's trying to convey with it.
He breaks off before it gets carried away, but his face stays an inch away from Will's, hand still holding onto his chin.
"Sorry, it's hard to stop now that I've started." Mike grins, and Will rolls his eyes, but he doesn't look annoyed at all. His grin turns thoughtful, eyes moving towards Mike's lips.
"Why stop?" Will asks, and then he slowly lifts his face up to meet Mike's in another kiss so sincere Mike is surprised his knees haven't given out yet. At this rate, they were bound to soon.
The bell rings, signaling the start of class, but Mike barely recognizes it. He’s too preoccupied with Will, and absentmindedly his hand moves away from Will’s shoulder and onto the back of his head, fingers threading through Will’s hair. It’s as soft as he imagined it would be, and Mike hums appreciatively.
He can feel Will smile into the kiss, and his heart does a leap in his chest when Will uses the hands still wrapped around Mike’s neck to bring them even closer together. Any distant thought of going to class leaves his mind completely.
“Mike, we should—,” Will starts, mumbling against Mike’s lips. “We should get to class.”
Mike scoffs, breaking the kiss altogether and leaning away from Will, taken aback. “The hell we should.”
Will laughs lightly, dropping his head onto Mike’s shoulder. Mike can’t keep the grin off of his face, hand still playing with Will's hair.
“Education is important,” Will mutters, the sound muffled from Mike’s shirt.
“You just said I was the most important thing in your life.” Mike says, voice smug. The hand in Will’s hair finds its way down to Will’s back, fingers dancing along the fabric of his shirt.
Will pulls his head away from Mike with a look of offense, but Mike can tell it’s exaggerated. “I should’ve never told you that.”
He thinks Will is joking, but Mike has already incorporated ‘being the most important thing in Will Byers life’ into his personality, and he doesn’t plan on getting rid of it any time soon.
“If it makes you feel better,” Mike starts, expression becoming softer as his eyes meet Will’s, ”you’re also the most important thing in my life.”
There’s a small pause, Will’s eyes searching his. “Really?” Will asks, and Mike’s heart almost breaks, because he says it like he can’t believe it, like the words didn’t make sense.
Mike nods adamantly, because really, nothing he’s said has ever been more true. “Always have been.”
Will dips his head onto Mike’s shoulder again, and they’re practically hugging at this point, so entangled with one another. Mike leans his head on Will’s in return, tightening his grip around him.
“If this is your way of getting me to skip class with you, it’s working.” Will murmurs, and Mike doesn’t even have to look at his face to know he’s smiling.
God, he needed to get a gift for Max. Some sort of thank-you-for-knocking-some-sense-into-me skateboard.