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“I can’t believe I’m letting you lot drag me to Hogsmeade when I’m so behind on my Potions revisions.”
Marlene’s complaint is contradicted by the fact that she’s leading the way through the castle, and Lily chuckles. Marlene would never let school get in the way of a good time, and they all know it.
“Professor Slughorn’s not that bad,” Lily says as they traipse down the stairs. “I’m sure his exam next week won’t be as tough as you think.”
“You can say that because you’re his favorite,” Dorcas grumbles. “The rest of us haven’t got the chops you have, Lils. Remind me why we carried on to NEWT level anyway?”
“It’s required coursework for Healers. Or have you changed your mind again?” Lily can’t help but tease.
“Okay, enough about school, please?” Marlene jumps in, to which Lily snorts.
“You are the one who brought up potions, Marls.”
“And now I’m changing the subject.” Marlene reaches for the front door with a smile, and the fall chill assaults them with unexpected force.
“It’s only October,” Lily complains with a shiver. They have barely even made it down the front steps onto the grounds, and at this rate she will be frozen solid by the time they get to Hogsmeade. “Why is it so cold out?”
“You could always ask James Potter to warm you up,” Dorcas snickers.
Lily rolls her eyes even as she can feel her cheeks flushing. “Oh, very funny. I would rather set Fiendfyre to my own coat; much more effective and not nearly as annoying as Potter is.”
Marlene scoffs. “Sure you would. Seriously, what’s going on with you two?” she presses.
“Nothing.” The answer is more true than ever, as James has barely said two words to her since term started. She frowns and tugs her coat tighter around her waist, changing the subject herself. “I think I’m going to run back upstairs and grab a scarf.”
“No,” Dorcas groans. “I’m already running late for my date with Paul.”
“Go on, then. I’ll catch up.” Lily breaks off from the other two, and Marlene fixes her with a discerning stare.
“Don’t think I’m letting you off that easily about this James business,” she warns.
Lily waves a dismissive hand at her, though she knows her best friend means business. “Yeah, yeah. I’ll see you there in a few.”
She trots back up to the castle, while Dorcas loops her arm through Marlene’s and continues down the path.
Most of the eligible students are already down in the village, leaving the castle quiet for a Saturday. Lily is halfway back to Gryffindor Tower when she sees none other than James himself coming down the corridor toward her. He and his crew are usually the first ones to Hogsmeade and the last ones back at night—any opportunity to escape the school for a bit—so she’s surprised to find him near the library, a bulging satchel slung over his shoulder.
“That’s a lot of books for Hogsmeade,” Lily jokes as they approach each other. “Or have you actually got a bag full of pranks?”
James shrugs, not quite meeting her gaze. “Not going to Hogsmeade today.”
“Why not? I figured I’d see you there.”
His hazel eyes flash up to hers. “Did you?”
Lily frowns up at him, startled by his defensive tone. “Yes. First weekend of the year? I thought you’d be leading the parade, not holed up in the library.”
James lifts his shoulder in another nonchalant gesture, and Lily’s heart races. Things have been weird between them this year—mostly because Potter has ceased asking her out every five seconds—but she isn’t sure why their friendship has delved into such awkwardness. James has always been an open book, and now that he seems to have put walls up to keep her out, all she wants to do is tear them down.
“Guess things have changed,” he replies. “Enjoy the village.”
He turns away from her, and she lets him take a few long strides before she calls to him. “Potter?”
His quick sigh echoes in the deserted hallway before he swivels his head around to look at her again, one eyebrow raised in question. “Evans?”
Lily takes a deep breath, not sure how exactly to get through to him, and then blurts, “Are we okay?”
“Are we okay?” James repeats the question and barks out a laugh that holds no humor. “Sure, Evans. We’re fine.”
“Then what’s going on right now?” she demands. “What is this?”
“This is me finally taking no for an answer,” James snaps back. “You’ve made your feelings clear, and you deserve someone—” He shakes his head and fixes his eyes on a crack in the stone floor at her feet. “Someone else.”
Lily takes a step forward. “We can be friends , can’t we?” She wants more than that, and she knows James does, too, but she’s not ready to confront her feelings for him.
“We are friends.”
“Then come to Hogsmeade.”
“Can’t.”
“Potter—”
“Look, Evans, don’t make this harder than it has to be. You were right, okay? When you said I’m no better than Sniv—than Snape. So I’m trying to do better. Trying to be better. For you. So that the next time I ask you out, you might not be wishing for the Giant Squid instead.”
James spins on his heel, and his hurried footsteps match the erratic pounding of her heart. The thought of a next time tells her what she needs to know—that he hasn’t given up hope on her, on them. She wants to follow him, but his words have her rooted to the spot. “Potter?” she tries again, but he keeps walking, and she knows she will have to resort to drastic measures. “James!”
The use of his first name is enough to halt his retreat and when he turns to face her again, his lips are twitching with the effort of holding back a smirk. “You called me James.”
“I’ve called you worse.”
He laughs again, the sound much more genuine this time. “Yeah, you have.”
“I wanted to make sure I had your attention.”
“You always do.”
And she does. His hazel eyes bore into hers as he drops his bag to the ground with a thud. The awkwardness between them has morphed into something just as powerful, but the tension between them now is charged with something else entirely. Something that has long existed between them, but that Lily has denied for far too long. James folds his arms across his chest, waiting.
Lily opens her mouth, but speech fails her. What does she want to tell him now that he's hanging on her every word?
She focuses on what he said before he walked away; on the library, and on the bag of books at his feet. He’s giving up a Hogsmeade weekend to study—for her. It’s flattering in a way, but it doesn’t sit right, and Lily finds her voice.
“I don’t want you to change,” she admits, wringing her hands together. “Definitely don’t change just for me. I mean, yes, you can be a bit of a prat sometimes, but you’re funny, and loyal, and kind. And maybe you’re a better judge of character than I am.”
She's thinking of the incident with Severus, at the end of last term. How he had lashed out at her, what he had called her—it stung, but when the shock wore off, she found she wasn’t all that surprised. It didn’t excuse James’s behavior that day either, but he’d seen Severus’s true colors long before she had.
“I guess what I’m trying to say is that…maybe I haven’t made my feelings clear.” Without realizing it, she and James have moved closer and closer, and her breath catches in her throat as his hand lands gently on her waist. Lily looks up at him, only inches away now. Ready or not, if she doesn’t tell him now, she may lose this moment—and him—for good. “I like you, Potter. Just the way you are.”
He lifts his other hand toward her face, hesitating before letting his fingertips graze her cheek. Lily’s eyes flutter shut as James leans closer. When a long moment passes without him kissing her, she opens her eyes again. His face is so close to hers that the slightest raise of her toes is all it would take to press her lips to his. What is he waiting for?
“Last chance, Lily,” James whispers.
Lily furrows her brow but doesn’t move away. James using her first name in that husky baritone has her brain turning to utter mush. “Last chance for what?”
“If you’re just trying to make the Giant Squid jealous, you can tell me. I’ll understand.”
Lily groans, but James’s laugh is infectious. “Can’t you be serious for once in your life?”
“Thought you didn’t want me to change,” he teases as his hand slides around to her back, pulling her flush against him and pressing his forehead to hers. “This is what you’re in for. Are you sure you can handle it?”
Normally, Lily would be quick with a retort, but her head might explode if she has to wait one more minute to find out what it’s like to kiss James Potter. Without a word, she closes the remaining distance between them, throwing her arms around his neck as she presses her lips to his. He tastes faintly of coffee and cinnamon, and every nerve in her body is aflame as he deepens the kiss.
When they finally separate, James looks as if he’s been hit in the head with a bludger, his goofy grin matching hers. “I suppose this changes things between us,” Lily quips between ragged breaths.
“I sure hope so.” James lets out a low chuckle and brushes his nose against hers. “But not everything has changed.” He slips his wand from his pocket, quickly banishing his book bag to the dormitory before lacing his fingers with Lily’s. “Studying can wait. Can I buy you a butterbeer?”
James is asking her out again, their equilibrium returned, but Lily finally has a different answer for him. She leans up to give him another quick peck before replying, all thoughts of a scarf now forgotten as James’s hand in hers has warmed her from head to toe.
“Absolutely.”