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“So that’s two for the art gallery and two for the bank,” Baz says as Deran and Craig raise their hands to vote for the bank. “J’s vote breaks the tie.”
Deran scoffs. “Too bad he isn’t here. And besides it’s not like we don’t know which one he’s going to vote for. He always votes with you guys.”
“Well, it’s not our fault your guys’ ideas always suck,” Baz says with a smirk.
“Fuck off,” Craig turns to Baz with a look on his face. Like somehow Baz should know where the teenager is at all times, just because half of J’s DNA is his. “Where the hell is he anyway?”
“Calm down. Smurf probably has him doing something,” Pope says. Baz appreciates Pope sticking up for J. It’s taken awhile but over time Baz has seen Pope getting more protective of his nephew. At least when the kid isn’t around to defend himself. “Maybe he’s picking up Lena from school.” And that one is directed at Baz and his shitty parenting.
“That’s a bullshit excuse if you ask me,” Deran says, taking a sip from his beer.
Baz holds up his hand. “Stop. He’s not 18 for a couple of months. Kid has a few months until he graduates. He’s kinda stuck.”
“Fuck off,” Deran says shaking his head. “Why doesn’t he just move in with you, Dad?”
Baz gives his youngest brother a glare. While Lena has asked Baz countless times why J hasn’t moved in with them, he never asked his son to. Nor has J asked. He knows he should. Knows that he needs to get his kid away from Smurf’s house of horrors. He knows first hand what Smurf does to those closest to her. The ones she should protect. How she manipulates and mind fucks. The three sitting across from him are proof of that.
But Baz didn’t have the balls to ask him. He doesn’t know if he can live under the same roof of the kid he failed for most of his short life.
“J isn’t stupid. You think he’s going to give up those 500 thread count sheets to sleep on Baz’ lumpy ass couch?” Pope asks.
Craig shrugs. “So? Baz has a spare room.”
“Yeah and it’s filled with both of your guys’ crap,” Pope replies pointing to Deran and Craig with his beer bottle. Shaking his head, “Both are a couple of slobs.”
Baz shakes his head. Needs everyone to get back on track. “Okay, we table the vote until J gets here.”
“And until then?” Craig asks.
“Until then Deran makes himself useful and gets some us drinks. This is a bar, isn’t it?” Baz says, holding up his empty beer bottle.
Craig drums his hands on the table enthusiastically. “Now that’s what I’m talking about!”
XXXXX
Hours later J still hasn’t showed. But that’s the last thing on all their minds as they drink and have a good time. Reminiscing about old jobs. About stupid shit Craig did. Nothing can ruin their good mood. Not even Smurf constant (unanswered) phone calls.
“Smurf again?” Deran asks when Baz silences his phone. “That’s what the third time in the last hour? That guy over on Mission probably has no hot water again,” Deran says, smirking.
“Or there’s an issue with the pool heater,” Craig says.
“Maybe it’s something with Lena,” Pope says. No humor in his voice.
Lena’s healthy. Her last check up with Dr. Miller went well. Her bloodwork all at normal levels. By all accounts the bone marrow transplant was a resounding success. But Baz has been warned that can change.
Minutes later the phone rings again.
“Are you joking?” Craig says shaking his head.
Baz ignores his brothers’ protests. “Hey, Smurf.”
“Good to know you’re aiive,” Smurf says. “This is the only the fourth time I called.”
Baz is definitely starting to feel the drinks, but he’s not rising to the bait. “What’s up, Smurf?”
“You with your brothers?” Smurf asks.
“Of course he picks up when Smurf calls,” Deran says shaking his head.
Baz gives him the finger. “Yeah, I am.”
“J with you?” Smurf asks.
Baz is about to quip back that he’s not his kid’s keeper but then he notices the tone in Smurf’s voice. It’s different from her cold, confident tone. It’s not fear. No, Smurf doesn’t fear anything. It’s alarm. She thinks something happened
“What’s wrong?”
“He didn’t collect any of the rents after school like he was supposed to.”
So maybe the kid got sick of doing Smurf’s bitch work and decided to fuck off after school.
“His phone is off. Goes right to voicemail.”
Now that has Baz worried. J doesn’t turn his phone off. He may not answer his phone when they call, but he never turns it off. He knows not to. Baz stands up abruptly. “We’re on our way to the house now."
“What the fuck is going on?” Pope asks once Baz hangs up the phone,
“We have to go to the house,” Baz says already heading towards the door.
“The fuck for?” Deran asks.
“J’s MIA.”
“So?” Craig says. “Who the fuck cares.”
Baz runs his hand through his hair in frustration. Trying to keep his cool. “J’s not here. He was supposed to collect rents today and he didn’t. He’s not at the house either. His phone is off.”
“I’m with Craig. Who cares?” Deran says. “He’s nearly eighteen. When we were his age Smurf had---'
Pope cuts his brother off. “This is not up for debate. We’re leaving now.”
Deran goes to open his mouth, but Baz shakes his head. Pope is right. This isn’t up for debate.
XXXXX
It’s kinda like an eerie sequel to the time when they stood in the garage and were discussing what to do with Javi after he and his crew broke into the house after beating J and taking Nicky. Smurf pacing the length of the garage. Deran and Craig voicing their displeasure on why they’re there.
Lena is in the house asleep. Baz hopes she stays asleep. The last thing he needs tonight is her asking where J is.
“Did he get picked up by the cops?” Craig asks.
Smurf shakes her head as her pacing picks up. “I talked to my guy at Oceanside PD and he says that J isn’t even on their radar. Not after that thing with his teacher.”
“Fine. But how do we know for sure that he didn’t just take off?” Deran says. “It’s not like he doesn’t have the cash. He’s sitting on a nice stash after Pendleton and the church.”
Now it’s Baz’ turn to shake his head. “No way. He wouldn’t just leave.”
“No? He wouldn’t? What exactly is keeping him here? Kid is turning 18 in a couple of months,” Deran replies.
Baz tilts his head towards the house. “Cuz, he wouldn’t just leave Lena.” No, if J ever left Baz believes that there’s a good chance he’ll take Lena with him. To get her away from the family. Like his own mother did.
Baz turns to Smurf. “She didn’t say anything?”
“Nope. She just asked if he would be back in the morning for breakfast.”
“I still don’t get why you’re so worked up. J can take care of himself,” Craig says.
Smurf stops in front of her son. “I’m worked up because the last time J tried to take care of something on his own, he was nearly killed. Now he’s been missing for almost ten hours. No one knows where he is. He’s not answering his phone. His truck is here.”
It didn’t even click until now that J’s truck is parked in the driveway. “He has his bike.”
“Easier to hide on a bike than with a brand new truck,” Pope says.
Someone’s clearing their throat. Baz turns to see Nicky standing in the doorway. He knows she means something to J, but there’s something about her that just rubs Baz the wrong way. The way she jumped from J right to Craig without hesitation. “This is a family conversation, Nicky.”
“Maybe you should go wait inside, I’ll be in a few,” Craig says moving closer to the teenager.
“Sometimes J goes to beach at Pier View North,” Nicky says in a rush.
“Pier View North?” Craig repeats.
“Julia’s favorite beach,” Pope says quietly.
Maybe Nicky isn’t so bad after all. “Thanks, Nicky.”
Smurf gives him a look. No words need to be said. Go get your kid. With that he turns around and heads towards his car. Just as he’s about to close his car door, something or someone stops him. “Pope. I gotta go man. See what the hell is going on with J.’
Pope pulls his hand back. “I know that. But listen. Today is the 27th.”
“So?” Baz asks in confusion. Who cares if it’s the 27th.
“April 27th,” Pope continues on as it if it should mean something.
“And?” Baz asks impatiently. ‘Look I really have to go.”
Pope takes a deep breath. “Two years ago today Julia died.”
Shit. Baz leans back against his seat. It all makes sense now. The radio silence. J taking his bike. Heading to Julia’s favorite beach.
“I didn’t say anything before because…you know.” Baz does know. Because they don’t talk about Julia. Ever.
“No I get it. Thanks, man.”
Pope nods his head and Baz backs out of the driveway.
XXXXX
It doesn’t take long for Baz to find J. The beach at Pier View North is quieter and less crowded than the other Oceanside beaches. Especially when it’s nearly eleven at night.
He’s sure to make his steps heavy as he walks across the beach so J hears him coming. J doesn’t turn around as Baz approaches and asks, “Can I sit?”
J shrugs as he continues to look out into the dark ocean. They sit there quietly for a few moments before J eventually speaks. “Nicky tell you where I was?”
He sounds a little off like he’s concentrating too hard on what he wants to say. Baz nods. “Yeah. Smurf was freaking out. Thought something had happened to you.”
I was scared something happened to you too. That I was too late. Again.
“And Craig and Deran thought I ran,” J says.
Baz can’t help but smile. J may have only been around them for a couple of years but he knows them all so well.
“Yeah. But I knew you didn’t.”
“What made you so sure I didn’t?”
“Figured you would take Lena if you ever decided to. That you knew she would be better off away from the rest of the family. Like your mom did with you.”
J turns away from the beach and looks away from Baz.
Baz puts a hand on his son’s shoulder. He’s sad but not surprised when J shrugs it off. “I know what today is. And I’m really sorry. I know this has to be a bad day for you.”
“Fuck off,” J dismisses. “You don’t ever talk about her. No one does. Except for Pope every once in a while.”
And suddenly Baz isn’t on the beach, he’s back at his place a life time ago with Catherine standing in front of him. “Today is his mom’s birthday too.”
Fuck. What does he even say? Maybe he should start with the truth.
“I fucking miss her man.”
J shoots him a glare. He’s shaking his head. “Fuck you.”
Baz shakes his head. “I do. I really do, man.” And he does. He has for years. He’s just never said it out loud until now. He lost track of how many times he wanted to call Julia after Smurf kicked her out. But he didn’t. He was too afraid that Smurf would cut him off. If she treated her own kids the awful way she did, how would she treat a someone who betrayed her and who wasn’t blood?
J fists his eyes in an attempt to wipe away the tears. “No one misses her except for me. Every time I put up a picture of her, it’s gone when I get home.”
Fucking Smurf. She did this. And they all fell in line because they were afraid of pissing Mommy off.
“Smurf kicked her out of the house, but you all made sure she was wasn’t part of the family,” J fiddles with a bottle at his side before bringing it to his lips.
Baz recognizes the smell immediately. Julia’s favorite. “Coke and 151.”
J offers him the bottle. “Want some?”
He should probably say no. But fuck it. “Give me some.” It burns going down. Too much Bacardi and too little Coke. Just like how Julia made it.
“My mom died when I was nine,” Baz says giving J back the bottle. J doesn’t ask him for details but he can feel the kid’s eyes on him. “She worked in a club. One night one of her usuals got a little rough and ended up strangling her. I know it’s not like how your mom died but after that I wasn’t allowed to talk about her at home either. My father would go off if I even mentioned her name. I hated that I couldn’t.”
“And I know we don’t talk about your mom. Not like we should. And I am genuinely sorry for that. Your mom was really amazing. You remind me a lot like her.”
And that’s the heart of the problem. J is too much like his mother. Too smart. Determined. Not easily manipulated. And that’s why the others see him as a threat.
J tilts his head to the side. “I do?”
Baz nods. “You do. Your mom was smart as hell. She ever tell you about the time she helped Pope and I steal computers from her high school?”
J shakes his head. “Why would you do that? They have serial numbers. You would never be able to fence them.”
There’s the smart thing. “That’s exactly what your mom said. Somehow I was able to convince that we would be able to work around it. That it would be a quick and easy 500 bucks.”
“What happened?”
“Your mom got caught going back to save Pope. And she was right. Took forever to unload those damn computers.”
Baz leaves out that it was that job that got Julia expelled. Leaving her with no option but to run jobs with the family.
“She was so protective over Pope. That computer job we pulled. She was in the van with me. We were in the clear, but she got out to save Pope. She knew what Pope needed better than anyone else. Reminds me a lot like of how you are with Lena.”
Baz is so grateful that J is so protective over Lena. Smurf loves her now but he knows all too well how that can change as she gets older. When she starts thinking for herself. Baz saw it firsthand with Julia. Baz feels better knowing that his little girl has people around her who love and will protect her. Even from family.
“You know there’s more to life than just running jobs. Your mom knew that too. Wanted to get away from it. Get you away from it.”
“I know it’s not easy being in that house. You and I both know that everything there is conditional. Comes with a price,” Baz fiddles with his key ring. The spare key to his place. He had gotten it for Lucy, but he can have another one made for her. “I should have done this a long time ago. But take this.”
J takes the key. “What is it?”
“Key to my place. I know what it’s like to walk on eggshells at your house. And no one should feel that way. So feel free to crash at my place whenever you’ll like. If you need a break from Smurf. Or Pope decides to start another bathroom remodel in the middle of the night. Hell if you feel like bringing a girl home. Whatever. Key is yours.”
J looks down at the key and wraps his fingers around it tightly. “Thank you.”
And this time when Baz squeezes his son’s shoulder J doesn’t turn away. He’ll take the small victory.
“Do you…you have more stories of my mom?”
“I have lots. There was this dive bar down on the Strand that the rich kids from Orange County would go to. She would mix pine needles with spider flower and sell it as weed. At $20 a joint those dumb fucks thought it was the best high.”
“And it was pine needles and plants,” J says with a smile, taking a large sip from his bottle.
Baz smiles. “Yep. She was good.”
J gives him the bottle and Baz takes another sip. “Then there was this one time at the beach.”
He fucked up with Julia. He fucked up with J in the past. But he can be there for J now.