Chapter Text
Ever since I joined 25N, I've experienced a lot that I haven't before. I started looking up to our encounters every night, it was something new in my boring life since I stopped going to school. At first, I was a bit scared about getting to know new people and making relationships again after so long of trying to stray away from them entirely, but if the worst comes I could just give up. Not like I'm not used to it at this point. But it didn't come to that point, yet.
To be honest, it might soon. As we get closer and closer, the time when they learn about me is approaching, and then it will all be over. I've grown accustomed to given up on people by now, but this time it's different, I've made the mistake of growing to like them, a lot.
Specially Ena.
After everything we've go through, at first I thought maybe if I tell her, she'll understand and accept me as I am. But that won't happen. Because even if I wish really hard I don't think anyone will ever be able to keep liking me, after they know. I just need to keep lying to her, this way we'll be together forever. That'd be good, right?
But I can't keep lying to her like this. Every time we met it keeps hurting me, seeing her face, seeing her worry about me and not being able to tell her. Honestly I really want to. I really want to tell her everything, about me, about what I've been through, everything- But I can't. Everytime I'd try, those horrible memories keep showing up.
Why does Mizuki dress up like that?- Right? Such a creep
Those memories haunts me to this day. What's so wrong of dressing the way I do? What's so wrong about trying to be myself? Must I live the rest of my life in my old shell just so to please others? But I couldn't say anything when I heard comments about me. I couldn't do anything besides crying on my own after. It hurted so much. So I stopped going to school, I don't want to hear those comments ever again.
But with Ena it's different, she's a kind girl. Part of me really wants to trust her, but if even she rejects me... I don't think I'd be able to hold my own. I really love her, huh?
I don't even know when this feelings came to be, it all happend so fast. At first, when we met at the sekai, I was really dumbfounded of how beautiful she was, even cuter than her pictures. But after to know her better, it feels like her wonderfulness became even stronger. Her thoughtfulness, caring atitude- And even if she tries to put up a strong front and act like she doesn't care, she really does. She cares a lot about all of us, she even cared about me. The dumb Mizuki that always teased her, that was always joking around.
Nobody ever came that close to try being there for me. Before I knew it, I was already in love with her. When we were together, I'd wish to kiss her, to embrace her. And this just made it all worst. I'm lying to the person I love.
I can't do this anymore. So I won't.
Some days ago when I woke up, I was on a strange place. It was a bit like the empty sekai, but different at the same time. First thing, Miku isn't here, neither are any virtual singers or anyone at all besides me. Also it is pink collored, there are ton of cute dresses all over the place, with long mirrors along some walls. Tons of sewing tools can be found in pink drawers and they've been keeping me busy this past days.
I don't really know how long I've been here, but I don't really care. Since waking up here I've been feeling so much better, all my worries are magically gone and I can just stay here for how long I want to.
I'm guessing this place is like a Sekai of my own? Empty sekai was created mostly through Mafuyu's feelings but Miku stated that we all had a part in that world. So this would be my sekai, huh? Mafuyu was right, I was the one that wanted to disappear the most. But now it's all over.
Everytime I slept here, I felt like I was taking longer and longer to wake up. Probably soon I wouldn't at all. But this is for the better I thought. This way I won't have to deal with someone I care about rejecting me.
I'm sorry mom, dad and sis. You did your best trying to understand me. I really love you all.
I'm sorry Yuki and K. I wish we could have spent more time and get to know ourselfs better. I wonder if K will ever be able to save Yuki, but since its her we're talking about, I'm sure she is. I wonder if she could save me again- Haha, just kidding.
I'm sorry Ena. I loved you very much and I wish I could have told you this before. But I guess it's for the better, no way someone would love liar Mizuki back haha... This was for the better..
And as soon as I laid back to what I thought would be my final time. I heard an unusual noise in this empty world.
"Mizuki??? Please be here" I heard her beautiful voice again, but I must be dreaming right? There's no way she'd be here. "What is this place after all?! It's so messy. Mizuki?!? Please answer, you must be here.... Please" Her voice was trembling.
"E-ena? What are you doing here?" I got up from my resting place. Finally I could see her, she was a bit messy, her eyes were swollen and dark circles could be seen, but she was still beautiful nonetheless, as always.
"MIZUKI!" She screamed, running towards me and hugging me tightly. "Mizuki, Mizuki, Mizuki, Mizuki.." She kept saying over and over, buring her face on my shoulder. Wait was she crying?...
"Ena, I'm here. Calm down, everything is alright, see?" I hugged her back, trying to comfort her a bit.
She let go of me, holding my shoulders while staring deep into my eyes. I could see her eyes trembling as water gathered in them as she cleaned her face.
And after some time, she rose her hand and slapped my face.
"Ouch! What did do you that for Ena?!"
"You deserve it!! Do you have any idea what I've been through?! I thought you were gone. And worst, nobody even remembered you even existed! Can you imagine that?" As she said it, tears could be seen starting to fall of her eyes again. "I cried so much, I couldn't stand being the only one that remembers you. You idiot!"
Wait what is she talking about?
"Wait what? Nobody remembering me? What are talking about?"
"It is what I said! It was like you never existed to begin with, even your house was empty did you know?! I cant belive you'd do this to me! I hate you, you idiot, dumb, cute, loving Mizuki!" I felt my face becoming a bit hot hearing her say this.
"Okay calm down. Sit here with me." I sat down, tapping the cushion next to me. "Explain everything please, I have no idea what you are talking about"
"Okay..." Ena sat down, grabbing my hand and squeezing it tightly. "You won't disappear, right? This isn't a dream, right?..."
"I won't disappear. I'm really here Ena. I'm flattered to know I'm in your dreams though, you must really love me huh~" I tried to ease the heavy atmosphere.
"You know this really isn't the time for that." I could hear the angry Ena voice. Cute.
"I'm sorry~"
Then Ena told me all about it. About Kanade, Mafuyu or Akito didn't remembering me. How anyone in school didn't either. Not even my family being there anymore and my house being vacant. I really don't know what happend though- I guess this sekai was stronger than I imagine it, must really made my feelings into reality. If Ena hadn't come, I'd probably be gone by know, and no record of my existence would exist. Scary...
"I think I get it-" She's was holding my hand the entire time by the way, I could get used to this. "But if nobody remembers me, how could you do it? I mean I get Miku remembering since this world probably would be connected to the Sekai in some way or another. But how could you?"
"... Uh... I dont really know.." Was ena blushing?? Could she be any more cute? Yeah, of course she could. "I thought about it, but to be honest, I was starting to forget you.. When I woke up yesterday I couldn't remember your voice, or how we'd met. But I've seemed to remember everything once I entered here. Which, by the way, what is this place?" She said looking around, letting go of my hand a bit. Unfortunately.
"When I woke up I was already here. I think it works like a Sekai- My Sekai."
"Have you tried getting out of here?" She played with some of the dresses that were laying around next to us.
"Not really". As soon as I said that she stopped everything, turning to face me, dropping the costume.
"Wait, you serious?" She got up "What were you thinking?!? You have any idea how much I searched for you?! How I felt?!" She screamed at me.
"I'm sorry..." I couldn't make up an excuse for it.
"I cannot belive you, you didn't even try to leave. Why? Why didn't you?! Answer me Mizuki right now. And don't try to smart your way out of this one like you always do." She stomped her feet.
"Because I didn't want to leave. I wanted to disappear..."
"Oh..." As soon as I answered her, she stopped herself and sat down beside me again. "I'm sorry for screaming.."
"It's okay. I'm sorry for making you through so much" I really meant it, if I knew she would suffer this much, I would have left here way sonner.
"Do you want to talk about it? You know you can share anything with me..." She held my hand again, sitting in front of me, looking straight into my eyes with those caring eyes. Don't do this Ena, you know I can't resist those eyes.
"I wonder... Can I really?" I said in a low voice, wishing for her not to hear it.
"What you mean? Of course you can! I promised didn't I? I will stay by your side forever and I mean it. I won't leave your side, you want it or not. Even if nobody remembers you... I will be here." She gave me a warm kind smile. God can a girl be this perfect?
I took a deep breath.
"Ena... I will tell you everything now but please... Dont leave me okay?" I tried really hard not to cry .
"I won't. I never will" She hold my hand tightly.
Come one Mizuki, you can do this. Come on. I took another deep breath.
"I wasn't born like this Ena." I could feel my voice trembling as was my hands.
"What you mean?" She held my hand tighter feeling it tremble.
"The thing I've been holding back from everyone at 25N... Is that.." my words are getting stuck in my throat. I felt my vision becoming blured. God I'm so pathetic.
"Hey relax, everything is alright. I'm here see?" She got closer to me, holding my other hand tightly.
"I'm not a girl Ena.. But I'm not a boy either. I am, what is known as a Non-binary person." My voice was trembling so much "I was born male but it isn't what I really am. I love cute things, and I wanted to wear cute dresses.. Everytime I saw girls wearing such cute things, it made me feel so bad, having to wear those ugly male clothes. It made me so envy of them..." I felt tears slowly rolling out my eyes as Ena sat in silence and heard me. "When I was alone at house, I caught myself trying my sister's clothes, and they made me feel so good. I felt happy for the first time with my looks. But this isn't normal right?- I mean I'm not a girl, I don't feel like I want to be a girl either. I'm just me- Mizuki..." I couldn't hold it in anymore as the tears didn't stop flowing. "I- I am such a creep right?? I can't even decide whatever I want to be. I'm pathetic right? Now you won't want be my friend anymore and I will leave N25 for good and-"
"Shut up will ya!" Ena hugged me tightly shutting me up. "You've been through a lot haven't you? A lot of awfull people have hurt you didn't they?" She carassed my hair as I poured my eyes out on her shirt. I held her, hugging her back.
"Nothing will happen you big stupid idiot. We wouldn't abandon you over something like that. We all love you the way you are Mizuki. I love you..." She held me tighter. Wait did I hear that right?!?
"Wait can you say that again?" I separated myself from her holding her shoulders looking deep into her eyes. "Please I need to record this scene deep into my memory."
"Uuugh, could you not ruin this moment?" She rolled her eyes, looking back at me shortly after "... I love you, you idiot." She whispered with her face getting hotter. Yep, cute.
"I can't belive this.. I must be dreaming, that must be it. The beautiful Ena loving someone like me?"
"I might stop if you keep this on!" I laughed "So which is it? Say something geez..."
"Come on Ena, of course I love you too. How could I not? The beaitful Enanan~" I smiled at her, cleaning my face dry.
"Don't you ever shut up?! Ughh... I might know a way." She said as she pushed my shirt closer to her. Next thing I felt was a soft feeling in my lips, seeing Ena's face so close to mine as I kissed her back, hugging her. I wished this moment would last forever. After sometime we pull back.
"Yeah that's very effective. Actually you might need to do that again because I feel like going on and on about how amazing my dear Enanan is~" I teased her.
"Not now. I'm still mad that you tried to disappear." She got up, stretching her hand assisting me.
"Come on Ena. I said I'm sorry~" I took her hand, getting up myself.
"Nope not enough. You're gonna need more than that." We walked towards the same place where Ena had came from. Finding a closed black door.
As I hold the the handle, I could feel Ena's hand squeeze mine tight- "Hey everything is gonna be okay. I'm here with you. Forever."
"Yeah everything is gonna be okay." I said back to hear. Forever huh? I could get use to this.
I took a deep breath as I opened the door to an unknown future. I'm sure we'd still have to go through a lot, things will be hard for both of us. But everything is gonna be fine because we have each other.
I passed through the door, leading Ena by the hand as we stepped back into our world. Together. Now and forever.