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He had cast aside his name long ago and was known instead as Mr. Prince, the top spy in West Blue.
He was West Blue’s greatest asset. He had never failed a mission, and he wasn’t about to fail now.
Even if that meant acquiring a family.
“You’re interested in adopting one of these brats, Mr. Black?” The man at the orphanage asked.
“Yes,” Sanji Black, chief psychiatrist at the capital’s premier hospital, answered.
A new name, a new identity, and Mr. Prince, as always, fell into it flawlessly.
He had sob stories and reasonings prepared in case the man asked why, but he didn’t seem to care, simply shrugged and led him further into the building.
Operation Mugi was a simple one in theory. Doflamingo Donquixote, a high ranking politician in East Blue, had been pushing for war with the West. Mr. Prince’s mission was to get close to him and prevent that by whatever means necessary.
Unfortunately Doflamingo was a recluse, his only public appearances were at events at his children’s school, the top ranked school in East Blue, Dresrosa Academy.
Thus the creation of Sanji Black.
The solution was obvious: Sanji needed to be a family man, and have a child attend the same school.
The frustrating part was that Mr. Prince worked alone. He wasn’t used to relying on someone else to achieve mission success, and the thought of dragging a child into this…
He glanced around at the orphans around him, miserable cast offs that he couldn’t help but sympathize with.
But he couldn’t save them all today. By preventing more war, he could perhaps stop more kids from becoming orphans, and that would have to be enough.
For now, he needed a child that could get into the prestigious Dressrosa Academy.
“I need the smartest one you have,” he told the man.
“Well, then,” he opened a few doors until he found who he was looking for and shoved him forward, “That would have to be Luffy here.”
Sanji glanced down at the kid, messy black hair, wide brown eyes with a small scar underneath one. He knew not to judge by appearances alone, but he looked more feral than smart, “Is he?”
“Oh yeah,” the man nodded, “The smartest we got.”
If he’s so desperate for a kid, let him take this one , the man thought, Get his creepy ass out of here.
Luffy looked at him, then stared at Sanji.
He looks too young, Sanji thought, This is a delicate operation, and I need a child who’s at least six for this spy mission to work.
Spy mission, Luffy thought excitedly, eyes going wide at the idea of being a spy.
For Luffy was no average orphan. Leftover from a long abandoned experiment, Luffy was a mind reader, and could hear everything people were thinking, even if he couldn’t always understand it.
“I’m six!” Luffy said, bouncing excitedly on his feet, “I’m six, and I’m really good at secrets and you should adopt me!”
That’s, oddly specific, Sanji thought as he turned to the man, “Is he?”
“Yeah, of course,” the man nodded. I have no fucking clue, this kid has no papers, he thought.
“Then I’ll take him,” Sanji nodded, handing over all the needed documentation and payments to expedite the adoption. Operation Mugi is a go.
I’m gonna be a spy, Luffy practically vibrated with excitement as he took Sanji’s hand and followed him away from that terrible place, My new dad’s a spy.
He laughed softly to himself. He had a dad now. A dad who was a spy. A spy dad.
He would do his best to make his new dad proud. He would be the best spy ever.
“What’s so funny?” Sanji asked him, a smile growing on his face as he saw Luffy’s excitement.
Luffy grinned up at him, “This is going to be so much fun.”
Luffy had passed the Dressrosa Academy entrance exam. Barely, but a pass was a pass, and he was lined up for an interview.
Parenthood, as it turned out, was the hardest thing Mr. Prince had ever done.
Luffy would not sit still. He was constantly running and laughing and getting into all of his things. He’d put all his spy equipment and incriminating papers in a locked briefcase, put the briefcase in a locked safe, and hid the safe in a secret compartment, and Luffy still managed to find it all.
He’d considered getting a different kid for the operation, but everytime he thought about it, Luffy would turn those wide eyes to him and give him the saddest expression, and he just couldn’t bring himself to do it.
He was a pro. He could handle this.
Luffy, meanwhile, was having the time of his life being Luffy Black. He was an actual real spy, just like the spies on TV! And he was on an actual real mission!
His new papa was teaching him all about being a spy. Sure, on the surface it looked like boring stuff like math and reading, but when Luffy listened in on his thoughts he also learned about cool spy things like disguises and infiltration and code breaking.
He couldn’t wait to use those skills on his super secret spy mission!
When Sanji and Luffy Black officially moved into their new apartment conveniently located between Sanji’s hospital and Luffy’s soon-to-be new school, they received some upsetting news.
“So, uh,” Usopp, Mr. Prince’s main informant, handed over the Dressrosa Academy application forms, “There’s a slight minor hiccup I don’t think anyone’s told you about.”
Sanji gave his informant a hard stare as he took the forms, “What.”
“Well,” he took a deep breath and exhaled slowly before explaining, “Apparently Dressrosa Academy is one of those fancy-schmance places that only accepts kids with two parents.”
Sanji’s stare didn’t let up, if anything it increased in ferocity, “What.”
“You need to get married,” he spelled out as clearly as he could, “Or they won’t let him in.”
I need to drag someone else into this? Sanji sighed as he leaned back on the couch, This is the worst.
I’m getting another parent? Luffy’s face lit up as he bounced on the couch next to his dad, This is the best.
“I guess there’s no choice,” Sanji sat back up and nodded at Usopp, “We’ll have to get married.”
“As much as I would love to paint a giant target on my back by spending more time with you than I need to,” he chuckled nervously, “Gonna have to pass. My work requires me to be single and ready to mingle, or I won’t be of much help to you.”
Sanji groaned and rubbed the bridge of his nose. He could feel a headache coming on, “So I need to find someone dignified enough for Dressrosa Academy who won’t raise any suspicions and is willing to marry a single father in less than two days?”
“Basically,” he gave him a friendly shoulder pat.
“Is having a kid bad?” Luffy spoke up from his seat on the couch, “Am I getting in the way?”
Sanji smiled and pat him on the head, “Of course not.”
Luffy grinned and relaxed. His Papa wouldn’t toss him away so quickly and leave him all alone again. He’d do his best to make him proud.
“If it helps, I can hack the city’s records and see if I can find potential candidates,” Usopp offered.
“Please do,” he gathered up the dirty dishes lying around and took them to the kitchen. This is just a minor setback. I’ll figure it out. I always do.
Luffy bounced off the couch and ran after him. I can’t wait to meet my new parent!
Zoro Roronoa was your typical city employee. He showed up to work on time, left on time, and completed all the work asked of him in an orderly fashion. No one could really complain about him.
Except, his coworkers found him a bit odd.
“He never talks to us about anything other than work,” they complained amongst themselves one day, “Does he even have hobbies?”
“Does he even have friends? Have you ever seen him with anyone anywhere at all? Is he a loner?”
“Does he even have a partner? He’s never talked about seeing someone, even at his age. Isn’t that strange?”
“He never hangs out with us after work,” Cabaji, a particularly haughty coworker, pointed out with a sneer, “How suspicious.”
Zoro overheard their complaints and didn’t know how to respond. The last thing he wanted to be was suspicious, since typical city employee was only his day job. His night job - and his real passion - was being the lethal assassin known as the Demon of the East.
Politicians, billionaires, celebrities, his missions were wide and varied, but everyone who hired him knew that he was the best of the best, with a perfect kill rate to match.
But if people started thinking he was suspicious, they might start digging into his affairs, and if they did that, they could find out about his secret job, and if they did that, he wouldn’t be able to do it anymore.
Also he’d be in a lot of trouble for all the murders.
“There have been more and more spies from West Blue lately. If he’s so suspicious maybe we should report him?”
He had to do something to curb their suspicions. He’d never failed an assignment, and he wasn’t about to fail now.
“Uh,” he cleared his throat, getting his coworkers’ attention, “Sorry if I’ve been reclusive lately. I’ve just been busy.”
Yeah that’s not suspicious, he berated himself, Gonna have to think of something specific.
“Busy? With what?” Cabaji laughed, “They have you filing paperwork at home now?”
“Uh…” Think of something, think of anything. What is something that would keep you at home in the evenings that’s not killing people? “I have a partner now.”
“Oh, really?” His coworkers at least seemed interested instead of suspicious, and that was a start.
“Yup,” he nodded, “We’re still figuring some stuff out, but-”
“Then you simply must bring them around sometime,” Cabaji said, “My wife and I are having a little get together in a few days. You and your partner should come.”
If they even exist , he thought smugly.
“Oh, uh,” his eye darted away, “I’ll have to check, we might be busy, but if we’re available then we’d love to come.”
“Excellent,” he grinned, “We’ll be expecting you.”
When Zoro got home that night he sighed heavily and leaned against the door. Great, now he had to come up with an excuse for his fake partner to get out of dinner. What was more believable, that they got hit by a bus or fell victim to a pack of crows?
The phone started ringing, dragging him away from his thoughts as he scrambled to answer it, “Hello?”
“Hey little brother,” his sister, Kuina, said, “How’s it going?”
“Good, great,” he relaxed a little at the sound of her voice. Their parents had died when they were young, and Kuina had basically raised him. He originally took up the assassin job as a way to help pay her back what little he could, although he’d be toast if she ever found out exactly what he did to get the money.
She had done her best to raise him to be a respectable member of society, and if she ever found out he was the opposite, she would be heartbroken. The world could find out about his secret life for all he cared, but Kuina must never know.
Still, it was always good to hear from his sister.
“I heard something exciting today,” she said, “Apparently my baby brother has himself a partner! I’m so happy for you, Zoro!”
Zoro choked in shock. How the hell had she found out?
“You’re so surly, I was sure you’d end up alone forever,” she continued, “But now that I know you’re not, I can accept that promotion.”
“Promotion?” His sick dread turned to excitement at her news, “You’re getting another promotion?”
“Yes,” he could hear her grinning through the phone, “They’ve been very impressed with my work, and are eager to move me up. I was going to turn it down, since it would keep me too busy to see you as often, but now that you have someone, I don’t have to worry about taking care of you so much.”
“I’m a grown man,” he growled, “I can take care of myself.”
“Big sisters worry about little brothers,” she sighed, “Especially when they’re as hapless at cooking as you.”
He didn’t think his cooking was that bad, but he had yet to find anyone who agreed. Besides his assassin job kept him too busy to worry about things like food and keeping a kitchen stocked anyway. Actually, the only housework he was any good at was cleaning, since he always had to clean up after a job and make it like he’d never been there, no matter how bloody it got, instead letting Kuina take care of most of his day to day affairs.
Now that he was thinking about it, he was still relying on Kuina for a lot of things.
“I’m happy to put your mind at ease,” he said, warmth seeping into his voice, “Congrats on the promotion. You should take it.”
“I will,” she laughed, “And I can’t wait to hear all about your partner.”
Zoro’s blood froze in his veins, “O-oh?”
“You’re going to Cabaji’s place in a few days, right?” she said, “His wife works with me, you know? I can’t be there, but I’m sure I’ll hear all about it!”
“R-right,” he tried his best to keep the dread out of his voice, “Of course.”
“I got to go, but it was wonderful catching up with you. Congrats again.”
“Yeah, you too.”
She hung up, and he let out a breath he didn’t even realize he was holding.
How the hell did he get into this mess? Now he only had a couple of days to find a partner, or else Kuina would turn down a promotion, and he couldn’t bear to hold his sister back anymore than he already had.
The phone rang again. It must have been Kuina, calling back to add some more news, and he rushed to answer it.
“Listen, Kuina,” he said quickly, “About my partner-”
“Demon of the East,” a voice that definitely wasn’t Kuina said.
Zoro stood up straighter, the switch from hapless little brother to deadly assassin immediate and instinctual, “Director.”
“I have a new assignment for you.”
Zoro glanced down at the tear in his suit jacket and grumbled to himself as he put his swords away and wiped the blood off his hands.
The blood stains he could get rid of easily enough - he was more than used to cleaning up after himself - but the tear would require a finesse and expertise he just didn’t have.
He fingered the rip and sighed. This was the nicest outfit he owned, and the only thing he could wear to Cabaji’s dinner party.
“This is such a mess,” he sighed as he dried his hands and started cleaning up the bodies scattered around the room.
First, he’d need to visit the tailor and get his suit fixed.
Then, somehow, miraculously, find someone willing to be his partner.
But Zoro was nothing if not determined.
He would finish this assignment as flawlessly as the rest.
Luffy needed new clothes.
Luffy needed a lot of things, food every hour almost on the hour to cuve his vivacious appetite (luckily Mr. Prince’s usually cover was chef, and he was able to keep up, barely), tutoring for almost every subject (the orphanage director was clearly a liar and a cheat, but Sanji was too invested in Luffy now to give him up), and another parent, for starters, but clothes were next on his list.
Nice clothes, clothes that someone attending Dressrosa Academy would wear.
If only he could just sit still for the fitting.
“I don’t like it,” Luffy whined as he tugged at the collar of his shirt. He’d never worn a shirt with a collar before, and he found it far too restricting, and he hated the sleeves, much preferring the freedom his tank tops gave him. He couldn’t see why he had to wear a shirt with sleeves just to go to the stupid school place.
He’d never been to a real school, but he couldn’t imagine a place where they’d actually care about what he wore.
“You need to look nice for the Dressrosa interview,” Sanji explained yet again, “It’s just for a day.”
And every day of the school year, since the Dressrosa uniforms have collars and sleeves.
Luffy whined, louder this time, as he imagined the torture of having to wear this shirt for the rest of his life.
Sanji sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose, feeling another headache coming on, “Calm down, please. We’ll think of something.”
He needs proper clothes, it’s important for the mission.
Luffy slammed his mouth shut and turned back to the mirror. He held his breath and did his best not to fidget with the collar or any other part of his shirt.
For the mission , he thought. Papa does it all the time. I can wear the stupid shirt. I can be a spy too.
Sanji sighed in relief. It seemed Luffy had accepted the clothing, so he’d try and push his luck and see if he could get him some more nice things to wear and fill out his wardrobe a little.
He looked around trying to find an employee to help, and was startled when he heard someone say, “Excuse me,” right behind him.
He turned and was surprised to find a man with green hair holding a garment bag standing at the counter. Not very many people could sneak up on and startle him - he had to be constantly alert as part of his job - so the fact this man was able to was curious.
Mr. Prince gave him a professional once over. He seemed like an ordinary guy, the most remarkable thing about him being that he only had one eye, but considering how recently the East and West had been entangled in a brutal war, that wasn’t particularly rare. He had a handsome face, and the muscle underneath his baggy street clothes indicated he took care of himself.
Nothing of particular interest, yet he couldn’t help but be intrigued by him.
He was in Usopp’s files, he remembered, Zoro Roronoa. City employee, single. Parents dead, just an older sister, and both of their records are clean, so he wouldn’t raise suspicions. Could he…?
Zoro noticed the blond man staring at him out of the corner of his eye as he handed his suit over to the tailor. His first instinct was to ignore it and try and make himself as inconspicuous as possible, but his gaze was too persistent to ignore. So instead he gave him a cocky smirk and said, “See something you like?”
Sanji blushed, embarrassed at having been caught staring. He clicked his tongue as his eyes darted away, “You wish.”
Zoro’s smirk grew at the man’s reaction. He was checking me out.
Wait, he realized, if he’s into me then maybe…?
“If you think I’m attractive do you want to go out with me?” Zoro blurted out, much to his and Sanji’s surprise.
“Uh,” Sanji stammered. He’d been considering Zoro as a potential other fake parent for Luffy, but wasn’t sure how exactly to bring that up in casual conversation. Still, Zoro’s invitation threw him for a loop, “What?”
“Papa!” Luffy whined as he ran over to Sanji and tugged on his hand, “It’s so itchy, can I take it off yet?”
Oh shit , Zoro cursed to himself, he has a kid, which means he’s probably married.
“Ah, shit,” Zoro said out loud, ducking his head as he tried to extract himself from the situation, “Nevermind, I didn’t realize, I just...forget it.”
He’s already married. Attractive guy like that, if his spouse found out I was hitting on him they’d probably try to kill. Of course, being an assassin I’d just kill them first, but still.
Oh shit, Luffy thought, using a new word he learned from his potential new dad, An assassin?
Shame, Zoro thought, keeping his gaze away from Sanji, I could have asked him to be my fake partner for the dinner party.
I was going to ask him to fake being my husband for the interview, Sanji thought, his eyes quickly darting away from Zoro, but it doesn’t look like he’s interested.
I could have a spy dad and an assassin dad, Luffy thought.
Luffy whined again as he hung off of Sanji’s hand, “Papa, I’m so lonely since it’s just you and me and no one else at home! Do you think I’ll ever have another parent?”
Sanji frowned at Luffy’s display. He had been worrying over acquiring a spouse somehow for the mission, but he didn’t realize Luffy had been so affected by it. I need to keep my issues more in check, lest I needlessly worry Luffy.
“So,” Zoro said, bringing Sanji’s attention back to him, “You’re not married?”
“No,” Sanj sighed and shook his head, “I’m afraid not.”
“Then,” Since I won’t be killed for asking, “Do you want to pretend to be my boyfriend?”
“I told everyone at work I had a partner,” Zoro explained over coffee, “Just to get them off my back. But then my sister found out, and she was so happy I’d found someone so she could take a promotion at work,” he shook his head, “If she finds out I lied, she’ll refuse the promotion, all because of me.”
He glanced across the table at Sanji, “I can’t let that happen. I can’t hold her back.”
“I see,” Sanji laughed as he sipped his own coffee, “I was thinking of asking you to pretend to be my husband.”
“Uh,” Zoro blushed, “What?”
He put a hand on Luffy’s head and rattled off Sanji Black’s backstory, “I want him to get into Dressrosa Academy. It was his mother’s - my late wife’s - last wish before she passed, and I would do whatever it takes to see her wish come true.”
“I see,” Zoro nodded. He’s such a good guy.
Papa’s a liar, Luffy thought as he sipped his milkshake.
“I want to give Luffy the best,” he smiled down fondly at him, “I want to give him every opportunity I couldn’t have.”
Ah, Luffy smiled back up at him, Papa tells the truth sometimes.
Zoro couldn’t help but smile at the cute father-son interaction. His parents had died when he was too young to remember them, and it had been just him and Kuina. She’d tried her best, but he never really had that stable parental relationship that Sanji and Luffy did.
He wondered what it would be like, to have someone care about you like that, to care about someone like that. He wondered if he would ever have something like that.
“But unfortunately Dressrosa Academy only accepts students with two parents,” he sighed and lowered his hand, “Thus…”
“Why you need a fake spouse,” Zoro nodded in understanding, “I get it.”
“Exactly,” he smiled, “So, if I agree to go to this dinner party and pretend to be your boyfriend, will you go to the Dressrosa interview with us and pretend to be my husband?”
Zoro glanced between the two of them. He could do this, right? He could be normal enough for one interview. And in return, he’d get his coworkers off his back for a while and reassure his sister.
“Yeah,” he lifted his coffee cup and tapped it against Sanji’s, “I could do that.”
Sanji grinned, “Then, it’s a date.”
Mr. Prince read over the mission parameters before setting the paper on fire. The spy hunts in East Blue had cut down significantly on his organization’s manpower, so he’d been asked to take on extra missions in addition to Operation Mugi.
It was risky, but it was for the sake of peace.
They’d gotten a tip on some stolen paintings and jewelry from the West being sold on the black market in the East. The mission itself was simple: reacquire the stolen items by any means necessary. Do not get caught.
The tricky part was, the items were being transported on Saturday, around the same time he was supposed to meet Zoro for his dinner party.
It would be difficult, but he was pretty sure he had a way to do both.
If, of course, he had help.
“You’ll have a babysitter on Saturday while I’m out,” he explained to Luffy, “So be on your best behavior.”
“Yeah,” Luffy said, his mouth full of snacks.
Sanji frowned as he considered Luffy, remembering his outburst at the tailor, “Are you alright with that? Me going out with Zoro?”
“Yeah,” he nodded, “I like Zoro a lot.”
Spy Papa and Assassin Dad, he knocked his feet together giddily, this’ll be better than the TV shows.
Sanji felt himself relax. He was surprised by how much he cared about Luffy’s happiness throughout this operation. The mission came first, of course, but the longer it went on, the more he wanted to give Luffy some sense of stability, some semblance of the normal life he never had.
“Good,” he nodded, pushing that out of his mind and focusing on the mission at hand.
“This is not part of my job description,” Usopp whined as Mr. Prince scouted the area, “You pay me for information, not field work! You haven’t paid me nearly enough for me to risk my neck like this!”
“There’s about 78 stolen items we’re retrieving tonight,” he said as he spotted the van rounding the corner, “If one or two went missing, I’m sure no one will notice. Will that cover your driver's fee?”
“No!” Usopp screeched, but the van was already in position.
Mr. Prince grabbed Usopp by his harness and jumped down on top of it, crouching low so he wouldn’t be spotted and holding Usopp tight so he wouldn’t fall off.
“I did not agree to this,” Usopp muttered even as he held onto him tighter.
“Stop talking or we’ll both get shot.”
The van pulled up to a warehouse, and a group of guys started loading the items into it. Mr. Prince waited until everything was on board before he pulled out his pistol and made his move.
“When the van’s clear, get in and take the wheel,” he whispered to Usopp, “On my signal, start driving.”
“What’s the signal? Wait, what are you going to do?” he asked as Mr. Prince stood up, “There’s like forty guys down there, you can’t take them all!”
“Get in the van,” he repeated, “and get ready to drive.”
I don’t have time to be sneaky, he thought as he jumped in the fray and started firing, I have to meet Zoro soon. I have to make this quick.
Five minutes later, he and Usopp were speeding away from the warehouse.
“I want that one,” Usopp pointed at some of the jewelry Mr. Prince was going through, “The shiny one.”
Mr. Prince ignored him, picking up a diamond ring and pocketing that for himself.
This might come in handy later.
“Hey,” Usopp whined as he reached over to grab at the ring, “Don’t keep the expensive stuff for yourself.”
“Eyes on the road.”
He put the jewelry away as gunshots rang out, bullets cracking the side mirrors.
“What was that?” Usopp swerved wildly, “I thought you took care of them!”
“Stragglers,” Mr. Prince growled as he pulled out his gun and leaned out the window. This is what happens when you rush. “Keep driving.”
“We’re gonna die,” he sobbed, but dutifully did what he asked, “We’re so gonna die.”
“Not if you keep driving,” he said as he took careful aim and fired.
Sorry Zoro, looks like I’m going to be a little late.
Zoro sighed as he glanced at his watch. It was an hour past the time Sanji agreed to meet him to go to Cabaji’s. He hadn’t called or texted or anything to let him know he was running late either.
So this is what being stood up feels like, he chuckled morosely to himself. It’s not great.
Cute guy like Sanji agreeing to pretend to be his boyfriend and solve all his problems was too good to be true.
He gripped the bottle of wine in his hand tighter as he thought through his options. It would be even more suspicious if he didn’t show up to Cabaji’s now, so he’d at least have to make an appearance. He’ll just say his partner got sick or something.
He sighed and shook his head. Pull yourself together, Roronoa.
This was an assignment just like any other: be normal in front of your coworkers.
And he’d pull it off just like all the others.
“Sorry my partner couldn’t make it,” Zoro explained as he handed Cabaji the wine, “He wanted to be here, but got caught up at work.”
“Is that so?” Cabaji said with a smug smirk on his face, “What a shame.”
Or he doesn’t exist, Cabaji thought with self assured satisfaction.
“Uh,” Zoro turned towards his wife, “If you could do me a favor and tell my sister that you did meet him, I’d appreciate it.”
Before she could respond, Cabaji laughed loudly and wrapped an arm around her shoulder, “No no, you’re not getting out of this that easily. We’re not going to lie to your sister just so you can save face.”
Zoro grimaced as they walked away, still laughing, and meandered over to the edge of the party, eventually finding a lone corner he could sit in away from everyone else.
“I can’t believe he came alone,” he heard his coworkers whisper, “How embarrassing.”
“Couldn’t even find a date. What a loner.”
“Isn’t that suspicious? He might be a spy after all. Should we report him?”
“I’m surprised he’s still here, honestly. After telling such an obvious lie.”
He scowled and turned his attention to the rest of the party.
If I kill everyone here, he mused, Kuina would never have to know I don’t have a partner.
He glanced around at the other guests, normal couples and families, living their normal life.
Normal. He tried to remember the last time he’d had a normal life. Even before he became an assassin, his living situation wasn’t exactly normal, being raised by his sister and all.
This is what Kuina wanted for me, he realized, what she’s been working for. A normal life.
He looked at the guests again, laughing and having fun, talking to each other, and had no idea where to even begin joining in.
I don’t belong here. I should go.
He stood up, intending to just sneak out, but as he approached the door it swung open with a loud bang, and in walked Sanji.
“Sorry I’m late,” he said, bleeding from a minor head wound and a little dazed, but he was here, and that’s what mattered, “I’m Sanji Black, Zoro’s husband.”
All conversation stopped as Sanji stumbled a little, trying to get his bearings.
Zoro slid up to his side and wrapped a hand around his waist to support him. He whispered into his ear, “Husband? I just needed a boyfriend.”
Shit, Sanji’s eyes went wide as he realized his blunder, I’ve confused his mission with mine. Very sloppy, Mr. Prince, keep it together.
“You’re bleeding,” Zoro dug through his pockets for a handkerchief and pressed it against the cut on his forehead, “Are you alright?”
“Yes, sorry,” he smiled as he took the handkerchief from him, “Some of my patients were having violent episodes, thus the hold up at work.”
“So,” they both turned to Cabaji, who was staring at them with barely concealed frustration, “you’re Zoro’s…husband?”
“Yeah,” Zoro gave Sanji a quick shrug at his skeptical look. Might as well roll with it, “Sorry I never mentioned, we’re just…uh…”
“It’s my fault, actually,” Sanji grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze, “This is my second marriage, and I have a son to think about, so I asked Zoro to keep it under wraps until everything was finalized, and with my job and all, I didn’t want him to have to answer any awkward questions about it.”
“Your job?” Cabaji’s wife asked, “What do you do?”
“I’m the chief psychiatrist at the hospital,” he gestured to the cut on his head and smiled, “Thus the violent episodes.”
Cabaji was fuming. How the hell did Zoro of all people nab such an attractive and charming husband? And right under my nose?
He smirked as he came up with a sure fire way to embarrass Zoro and get Sanji to break up with him.
“Oh, Sanji was it?” He laughed and leaned in, “Since you’re married to this guy, you must know, right? How he paid his way through school?”
“Cabaji,” his wife tugged sharply at his hand and hissed in his ear, “You’re drunk. Just let it go.”
But Sanji was looking at him with interest, and Zoro with terror, so he continued, “They say a bunch of very high profile people would invite him up to their hotel rooms for massages.” He laughed again, more shrill and piercing the longer it went on, “But I think we all know what really went on.”
Ah, Zoro was frozen to the spot, the blood drained from his face as he clutched Sanji’s hand tight, that was just an excuse for me to go up there and kill them.
His gaze turned to Sanji, who was taking in the information with an unreadable expression.
But, is this a deal breaker for him?
Sanji surprised him by smiling wide and squeezing his hand back, “I think it’s great.”
Zoro could only stare at him as he continued, “It’s just been Zoro and his sister for the longest time. I think it’s admirable that he was able to work his own way through school. He’s always doing his best,” Sanji turned to look at him, “And helping everyone around him. That’s wonderful.”
Zoro blushed, his stomach doing flips as a light floaty feeling filled his chest. Sanji’s such a good guy, and he thinks all that about me…
It’s not so different from myself, Sanji thought as his thumb stroked Zoro’s knuckles, As a spy, I have to do dirty work for the sake of helping others. I can’t hate Zoro for doing the same.
That smarmy bastard, Cabaji thought, How did an unapproachable loser like him snag a husband like that?
“We should get going,” Sanji said to the rest of the party guests as he gently guided Zoro to the door, “Enjoy the rest of your evening.”
“Sorry for the abrupt departure,” Sanji said as he was driving Zoro home, “But your coworkers are kind of assholes.”
Zoro laughed, “I was gonna leave anyway before you showed up. But that whole husband spiel should get them off my back for a while.”
Sanji winced again, a slip of the tongue on his part. I hope my slip up doesn’t make Zoro’s life any harder, “Sorry about that too.”
“It’s fine,” Zoro smiled at him, and it made something flutter in his chest, “I don’t mind.”
Actually, Zoro thought, the prodding into my social life probably won’t stop here, and surely Luffy will need two parents for more than just the interview…
He blushed and glanced back out the window as the tantalizing thought began to take root, If Sanji doesn’t mind, then maybe…
Gunshots rang out and Sanji swerved the van suddenly.
Shit, Sanji thought, seeing the black car in his rearview mirror , they must have put trackers on the merchandise. It was sloppy of me not to check, and even sloppier to still have it on me. Get it together Mr. Prince!
“Who’s that?” Zoro asked, seeing the car in the mirror too.
Got to think of something to tell him, anything at all. “It’s my patients.”
“The ones with the violent episodes?”
“Yes,” more gunshots rang out, one taking out the driver side mirror even as Sanji swerved, “It seems the treatment didn’t take.”
“I see,” Zoro nodded in understanding. Being a doctor is tough, always on call like this.
I’ve got to lose them, Sanji turned suddenly into an alley. Once the van was hidden, he got out and gestured for Zoro to do the same, I’ve got to keep Zoro safe, at all costs.
The alley was smaller than the open road, hopefully restricting the use of firearms. Sanji grabbed Zoro’s hand and guided him along, pulling them behind some crates. When one of the thieves ran by, Mr. Prince jumped out and took him down with a swift jab of his elbow to his temple.
“Uh,” Zoro hesitated as he came out from behind the crates too, “is that how you treat all your patients?”
“It’s uh, called Concussive Therapy,” Sanji rattled off the first thing that came into his head, “It’s a new and slightly unorthodox method, but it does wonders for extreme cases like this.”
“I see,” Zoro nodded along. Being a doctor sure is tough.
There were five men in the car chasing us, Mr. Prince thought as he moved the unconscious man to the side, So there should be four left.
More gunshots rang out as bullets sailed past them. Instinctively, Sanji grabbed Zoro and shoved him behind him.
Another man approached them from the other end of the alley, taking a wild swing at them with a crowbar. Mr. Prince ducked under the swing and swept his legs with a sound kick, toppling him to the ground where he delivered a swift punch to his temple to knock him out. But while he was occupied with him, he missed the other man coming in close, the butt of his gun raised to slam into his head.
Before he could even turn, Zoro was there. One powerful kick to the man’s leg had him toppling over, followed by a quick punch to his head, leaving him unconscious.
Sanji could only stare at him with wide eyes. Shit, that was great. Where’d he learn to do that?
“Shit,” Zoro blushed as he turned to him, “My sister insisted I take self defense lessons when we were young, and now I’m a bit of an expert, so I just reacted instinctively. Sorry if I did it wrong. I really should leave the medical procedures to the professionals…”
“Thank you, Zoro,” Sanij laughed as he got back to his feet, “That was amazing,” his smile softened as he took Zoro in fully, “You’re really full of surprises.”
Zoro smiled back, feeling giddy at the praise.
More gunshots, and from the sound of it they’d brought in heavier artillery. Sanji grabbed Zoro’s hand again as they took off in a sprint down the alley.
Zoro stared down at their joined hands, the thought from before surfacing once again.
“I was thinking,” he said, willing himself to find the words, “What if we made this married thing more permanent?”
Sanji stumbled, managing to stay on his feet only thanks to Zoro’s grip on his hand, “What?”
“If you want,” Zoro’s blush spread to the tips of his ears as he looked away, “Just, I’m sure people will keep questioning my single status, and I’m sure Luffy will keep needing a second parent, so if you wanted, we could keep pretending to be married.”
Being married would make me less suspicious, and let me continue my killing in peace. He glanced over at Sanji, his blond hair billowing behind him as he ran, and felt his heart skip a beat, And he’s the only one who’s ever accepted me as I am. If I have to get married to keep my cover, I wouldn’t hate for it to be him.
Sanji glanced over his shoulder and grinned at him, “You know, I was thinking the same thing.”
A grin spread across Zoro’s face, “Really?”
“Yeah,” he nodded, “We’ll drop by the courthouse later and make it official.”
“So soon?”
“Why not,” he grinned back, “the sooner the better.”
Another man popped out from behind some crates, and they both let go of each other to punch him simultaneously, Zoro in the chest and Sanji in his head.
As he fell to the ground, a grenade rolled out of his pocket. Mr. Prince picked it up and followed Zoro behind the crates as a spray of bullets rained down on them.
“Right,” Sanji put his hand in his pocket, “I had…”
He felt around for the ring he got for Zoro, but came up empty, his finger instead finding a hole.
“Shit,” he groaned, then remembered the grenade in his hands. Thinking quickly, he pulled the safety ring out and tossed the armed grenade over the crates, letting it deal with whoever was left.
“Zoro,” he asked as he took his hand in his and gently slid the safety ring along his ring finger, “Will you marry me?”
Zoro stared down at the ring on his finger and felt something tighten in his chest as he nodded, “Yes.”
Sanji grabbed both his hands as the grenade exploded behind them, rubbing his knuckles as he smiled softly at him.
For better or for worse, Sanji thought, Until my mission do we part.
Shit, Zoro thought, I think I’m in love.