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Drowsy mornings where the sun glows from behind curtains and the wild life sings are one of huening kai’s favorite things. Well. one of his secret favorite things. He thought if he ever expressed something so poetic that he’d just be laughed at. So, laying in his tousled sheets with his plushies hugging him, he silently enjoyed his favorite way to wake up. No blaring alarms, no shouting in the hallway, no Beomgyu screaming over a bug, just peace and quiet. Huening Kai smiled softly with his eyes still closed and nuzzled his pillow with a content sigh.
BAM! Crshhhhh
Kai’s eyes snapped open and he pushed himself up on his elbow, squinting at his door where the sound came from. He could hear arguing from the kitchen and someone running away from the scene.
WHAM!
A door down the hall slammed shut, seeming to be Beomgyu’s from the distance it sounded. Huening Kai frowned and grew an angry expression on his face. How dare they disrupt his perfectly lovely morning! He became very frustrated in mere seconds and threw his blanket off his legs, stumbling out of bed. Fighting through some lightheadedness from getting up too fast, he marched to the kitchen.
“Stop!” Soobin shouted, making Huening Kai freeze.
“There’s glass everywhere! Don’t come in here unless you have shoes on.” He explained coldly, looking around at the large mess surrounding him.
“What the hell happened??” Kai asked with a little too much attitude for his hyung.
“Beomgyu happened.” Taehyun sighed. He was perched on the counter, still in his pajama’s. He had nothing on his feet and was essentially stuck for the time being.
“Coming through!”
Yeonjun sped past Huening Kai, zooming into the kitchen with a vacuum. He flicked it on and started using the hose add on to collect the fine shards of glass. Kai slapped his hands over his ears when the loud whirring from the vacuum started. He whined and stopped his foot, but no one could hear him. This was far too much noise for 10 am.
Huening Kai shuffled back to his room and burrowed back under all his blankets and plushies. He sniveled and pulled his favorite Molang to his chest. Tears welled in his eyes, as he started weeping quietly. He wasn’t sure why he was feeling so upset, but he knew if had to hear one more loud unexpected sound he would start throwing things. Kai often woke up partially regressed and a little disoriented. That’s why he loved quiet mornings where he could simply lie in the floaty feeling and maybe doze back off.
“I hate it.” Huening Kai grumbled to Molang, using his ears to wipe his cheeks. He couldn’t help but quietly cry to himself. He felt so small and sensitive. Footsteps padded near the door and Kai hid his face in Molang.
“Kaiii~” Yeonjun’s voice singsonged, the door slowly creeping open. “You can’t fall back to sleep, manager hyung called us in last minute. Jump in the shower while we finish cleaning up.”
Huening Kai felt his heart drop. Called in? No, they weren’t supposed to be called in until Monday. It was Friday! They couldn’t just flip the day around on him like that. It completely threw him off.
“Kai.” Yeonjun sighed. In the eldest eyes, Huening Kai just looked like the typical teenager ignoring him to keep sleeping.
“C’mon, we don’t have time for this. Get up.”
Yeonjun approached Kai’s bed and tugged the sheets off the youngest to try and get him up or at least responsive. He wasn’t expecting to see him flinch and curl up on himself. Despite his size, Kai managed to look like a scared baby fawn. His shoulders shook as he cried into his plushie, biting the fabric to try and stay quiet.
“What’s wrong?” Yeonjun asked gently, switching his tone to console the other. He sat down by Kai’s back and observed him.
“mmmnnhh-” Huening Kai whimpered, hiccuping. He couldn’t get any words past the lump in his throat. Yeonjun was mad at him in his mind.
“Hm? You need to speak up, ningning.”
Yeonjun watched him shiver and tugged the bedding back over him. He didn’t realize Kai was only in a tee shirt and underwear. Something was clearly upsetting the younger to make him act this way and Yeonjun was determined to fix it.
“Yeonjun hyung! Beomgyu’s little!” Taehyun called tonelessly from down the hall.
“Shit, I’ll be right back.” Yeonjun said, dashing out of the room and leaving the sad maknae alone again.
“Noo~” Huening Kai whimpered, once again breaking off into quiet sobs.
He may have been feeling stubborn and overwhelmed, but he needed his hyung! Frozen in the same position, Kai cringed at Soobin rampaging through the dorm, waiting for more arguing to break out. What an awful start to his day.
Twenty minutes passed and Huening Kai remained perfectly still in the same position. He was no longer crying, just chewing on his lip with the occasional tear rolling down his nose. He felt forgotten. Why hadn’t Yeonjun com back yet? Why hadn’t anyone else checked on him? Slowly, he pushed himself up and used the collar of his totoro shirt to wipe his face. He turned his head and gazed at the half open door with watery eyes. Hope sparked in his heart when he saw someone, but it died quickly when they didn’t even look at him and kept walking.
“Nee’ jjunie.” He slurred, sliding off his bed and kneeling on the wooden floor. If he had felt somewhat regressed when he first woke up, now he was definitely completely regressed and vulnerable.
“Huening? Why aren’t you dressed?”
Kai snapped his eyes up from his knees to see Beomgyu peeking into the room. Wasn’t he little, too? He was behaving normally. If he wasn’t small anymore than why didn’t Yeonjun come back? Why wasn’t his papa here?
“He’s not ready?” A voice from the hallway asked Beomgyu, who shook his head and walked away. He was quickly replaced by a stressed Soobin.
“Get off the floor. Pick an outfit, let’s go. We’re already late from the kitchen disaster.” He grumbled, crossing his arms.
“Can’t.” Huening Kai squeaked, going back to looking at his legs
“Can’t? Last time I checked you had arms and legs, get ready. Now.” Soobin spat, having absolutely no clue that Kai had even been upset in the first place.
Huening kai felt like he had turned to stone. He was scared to move. Scared to do the wrong thing and get yelled at. Scared to leave the house. The world was so big and he felt incredibly overwhelmed at the thought of it.
“Yah! You aren’t deaf, don’t ignore me.” Soobin raised his voice a little bit and stepped fully into the room.
Huening Kai didn’t move, but he did part his lips and start lightly panting, as he felt his anxiety sky rocket. His chest seemed to spasm uncontrollably and the rest of him started trembling. He squeezed his eyes shut and hung his head, trying to breathe normally again. He wasn’t hyperventilating, but it was similar enough to scare him more. Kai rarely dealt with high levels of anxiety and didn’t have any coping strategies like his hyungs. He wanted to escape, but he was stuck in his own head and body.
“Huening Kai, I’m not up for these stupid games today! Do you think I’m happy to go in? No. We all just have to put up with it. Get these on, you can eat in the van.” Soobin scolded as he madly grabbed a long sleeve and sweatpants from Kai’s closet and dropped them in front of him.
“P-Pa..eheh-” Huening choked, wrapping his arms around himself and heaving in and out a big breath followed by smaller ones.
“Huening? Hey … baby I didn’t mean to upset you, I’m so sorry. I’m just frustrated that’s all. I shouldn’t have let it get to me like and taken it out on you. I’m sorry.” Soobin apologized when he noticed the way Kai was breathing, hushing his voice and lowering himself near him.
“Kai? Baby, it’s okay.” He mumbled, catching sight of the way Huening was clenching his jaw and starting to rock himself back and forth.
Soobin jumped when Kai wailed loudly, finally breaking the barrier between his mind and voice. His hands flew up to his hair and pulled hard at it. Tears and saliva ran down his face and chin like he had just been sick and the other three boys came tumbling into the room. Overtaken by fear, Huening screamed. He was bombarded with concerned questions from every direction, pulling his focus 100 different ways. It was loud. Each member was talking over another, trying to get through to their beloved maknae.
“No more! No more! C-Can’t do it!!” He bawled, shaking his head.
Yeonjun flew to his side, almost grabbing Huening Kai to hold, but stopping his hands as the hovered around the boy. He didn’t know if touching him would make things worse or not. He looked helplessly to Soobin with a perplexed expression. What in earth had happened to send Kai into an anxiety attack??
“Ningie, shhh, you’re okay. You don’t have to do anything but breathe right now. That’s all, just do your best.” Yeonjun said as confidently as he could with his voice wavering.
“Pa- Papa! No weave me! No weave!” Kai sobbed, inhaling a big breath and puffing it out. Everyone’s eyes widened and connected with each other. They fucked up. Big time.
“I-I’d never, sweetie. I’m right here. Can you open your eyes, please?”
Kai lifted his head slightly and glanced to his right, where Yeonjun was sitting. His lip trembled and he started sobbing again. Thankfully, it was as intense as before. He could feel his body properly again and found comfort within Yeonjun’s presence.
“There you go, now Papa can see his baby.” Yeonjun soothed, doing his best to smile for Kai. He could see Soobin rubbing his eyes in his peripheral vision and hear Beomgyu’s unmistakable sniffling.
Huening Kai let go of his hair and flopped into Yeonjun’s lap, hiding his face in his stomach and clinging to his legs. Yeonjun’s hands went right to Kai’s hair and back, carefully rubbing both places. He felt every cry rip through his baby’s chest and hushed him caringly. All the built up overstimulation, fear and stress came out through his painful cries. It was all he could do.
“Let it out, I’ve got you. I’m not going anywhere.”
After a few tense minutes, Huening Kai started to breathe steadily again. Soobin was worried he had caused the boy to become inconsolable and stopped biting his nails.
“You’re doing such a good job, sweetheart.” Yeonjun encouraged. “Can you talk to us?”
Kai whined, wiggling uncomfortably. Yeonjun hoisted him into his arms and helped him back into his bed, sitting behind him with his arms wrapped securely around his baby’s stomach. The others cautiously approached the pair and sat down on floor next to the bed where they had previously been. If Huening Kai didn’t just have a meltdown they’d be in a big cuddle pile, but space was what was best for the time being.
“What got you so worked up, honey?” Taehyun asked softly from the floor.
“Lots.” Huening pouted, reaching to grab Molang.
“Lots?” Yeonjun prompted, leaning his head against Kai’s.
“Lots and lots. Too little for noises an’ yellin’.” He started.
“Then t-tried to get away but- day changed to work an’ and can’t do it! Couldn’t talk.” Kai cried softly.
“Oh baby, I should’ve stayed with you longer. I’m sorry, I didn’t know you felt so overwhelmed.” Yeonjun apologized.
His mind replayed how odd Huening Kai had been acting by just laying there, unresponsive. After he left to see Beomgyu and check on him he got a phone call that lasted longer than it needed to, but gave insight to why they had been called in. Beomgyu had regressed for a little while because he was started by dropping multiple dishes, but was easy to calm down and get back to his normal self. He should’ve immediately returned to Kai.
“Was fwozen…I’m sorry.” The maknae whispered, directed at Soobin.
“You don’t need to apologize, lovey. I should’ve been more patient. You didn’t deserve to deal with my grumpy side. How about next time you feel frozen and we try to talk to you, but you can’t answer, you give us a thumbs down.” Soobin said semi slowly, cupping Huening’s face with his hand. He got a small nod in return.
“I hated it. Felt so far away fwom all you and jus’ wanted t-to be seen and held.” Kai admitted, crawling up his bed and tugging on Soobin’s hoodie to get him to get up.
Soobin got the message and sat down on Kai’s bed, letting out a huff when the boy sat on him. Huening Kai put two of his fingers in his mouth and squished his cheek on Soobin’s shoulder, looking at his neck.
“You needed some help grounding yourself, hm?” Beomgyu said more like a statement. He understood what Huening was describing and had been through it himself.
There were times when Beomgyu had drifted off into the weird feeling of being between headspaces mixed with anxiety or worry. It felt like getting stuck in a snow globe. A barrier between him and the outside, then getting shaken around and disoriented by things moving around him. Unlike Huening Kai, he got fussier and squirmed around a lot, trying to get his bearings back or looking for his caregivers when he felt that way. Kai just seemed to go catatonic.
“I wish I had noticed sooner, baby. I never would’ve yelled at you like I did.” Soobin said regretfully.
“I know.” Huening Kai mumbled under his breath. He knew logically that his hyung was irritated with other circumstances and not him.
Soobin gave him a big squeeze and kissed his head. He longed to apologize over and over again, but that couldn’t fix what had already been done. Besides, he didn’t want to make Kai keep reliving it. The boy needed cheering up and maybe a bath. He was significantly calmer, too and quite hungry.
“Food..” Huening stated, his stomach grumbling.
“Goodness, you haven’t had breakfast yet.” Yeonjun tsked. “I guess I’ll just have to get your favorite cereal and bowl out.” He feigned disappointment.
Huening Kai smiled shyly and giggled. Soobin did the same back at him and followed Yeonjun to the kitchen, giving Kai a piggyback there. A blue plastic bowl with an attached straw was taken out of their unorganized cabinet and accompanied by chocolatey cereal. Soobin would pay millions to see the innocent excitement in Kai’s eyes when he saw the cereal for the first time again. It was such a simple thing that made the youngest happy as a sun flower.
Huening kai sat down contently and watched Soobin pour the cereal and milk. He clapped happily when the food was pushed towards, accompanied by his favorite green spoon. Munching away, he let his mind wander where ever it wanted. The rest of his hyungs were talking too each other, but he was too little to care. His cereal was the main focus.
“You better not make him go in to work after all that.” Taehyun told Soobin protectively.
“I know, I don’t plan on it. I haven’t seen anything like that happen to him in a really long time.”
“Why were we called in exactly?” Beomgyu asked, scratching his head and yawning.
“They lost the files of what we recorded the other day.” Soobin sighed, shaking his head. One would think the producers knew better.
“Can’t we do it tomorrow?” Taehyun asked. He was frustrated with the company and wanted to keep the youngest happy and safe at home.
“I mean, maybe-” Soobin was cut off by his phone buzzing in his pocket. He rolled his eyes and picked up the call while he left the room.
Taehyun diverted his attention to Kai and sat down next to him. The boy smiled at him with milk dribbling down his chin and giggled. Taehyun couldn’t help but laugh, too. Huening kai was far too cute for his own good. His hair was an absolute mess after writhing around in his bed all night and he kept clumsily shoving cereal into his mouth.
“Guyss!” Soobin bounced into the room, happier than before he left.
“Apparently, they found the stupid files and we still get our day off!” He cheered. The boys sighed with relief.
“That means we can take our time with our baby Kai and give him a bubble bath.” Yeonjun cooed, ruffling Kai’s hair.
“C-Can I be little, too?” Beomgyu asked insecurely.
“Of course!” Soobin stated, pulling him into a hug. He felt Beomgyu smile against his shoulder and let go.
“I’m gonna go to my room for a bit.” Gyu mumbled.
“I’ll check on you in a few, yeah?”
Beomgyu nodded to Yeonjun’s suggestion and left to get changed and into his headspace again. Huening Kai slid off his chair after drinking the chocolate milk created by the cereal and scampered off to his bed. He leapt into his bed like a frog and surrounded himself by plushies, smiling widely. He was overcome with relief. No more stress, just soft toys and cute tv shows. He sighed contently into his Molang, laying in a patch of sunlight.