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The camping trip was Nick and Darcy’s idea to start—well, it was Darcy’s idea to go on a trip together over summer break to try to recreate the Paris trip from the summer before, and Nick suggested camping. And after that, it was just a matter of convincing the others, starting with Tara and Charlie, who they must’ve known would be the easiest to convince. Tara would let her girlfriend drag her anywhere, if only to offer some kind of impulse control. And Charlie had agreed to come because Nick had smiled at him, at which point it became a full-on group outing, including Tao, Elle, Sahar, and a very reluctant Isaac. (Aled had been invited, but firmly declined)
This is what led Tao Xu to his current situation: sharing a tent with the world’s most oblivious idiots (and Isaac). They hadn’t intended to split the tents into boys and girls, but Tara and Darcy wanted to share, and although Tao and Elle had finally crossed the line from friendship into something else, Tao still thought intentionally sleeping next to her might actually make his head explode. So, Elle had gone with Tara and Darcy, and Sahar had simply followed, being closer to the girls than any of the boys, which left the boys to share the other tent. It had only been one night, but that was already one night too many. Charlie and Nick had stayed up whispering to each other in the dark, as if Tao and Isaac weren’t literally right there , and had woken up somehow entirely tangled in each other despite not sharing a sleeping bag. (Tao had immediately taken blackmail photos.)
It was clear to everyone that knew them—even Tao, who was generally very dense about these kinds of things—that they fancied each other. And it had been for the year and a half that Charlie and Nick had been friends. It was clear when Nick didn’t date Imogen, it was clear when Charlie started bringing Nick to their film nights, forcibly integrating him into their friend group, and it was especially clear when Nick came out as bisexual during the Paris trip, his eyes darting to Charlie every time he mentioned liking boys.
Tao and Elle had tried their best to convince Charlie to just get over himself and tell Nick how he felt, but he adamantly refused. Which really wasn’t all that surprising, given Charlie’s general belief that he was a burden on everyone around him, and Nick was, well. Nick . As loathe as Tao was to admit it, Nick Nelson was one of the best people he knew. Once Tao got over his initial fear of change and accepted Nick as part of their group, it was plain to see that Nick had a heart of gold.
After all, it was Nick who first noticed Charlie’s eating habits, it was Nick who encouraged him to seek help, it was Nick who stood by his side when he had to tell his parents, it was Nick who always seemed to know the most about Charlie’s treatment, compiling endless research and sharing it with the rest of them, it was Nick who learned to cook all of the meals in Charlie’s meal planner, it was Nick who was Charlie’s rock, his solid ground. Of course, they were all there for Charlie, they all visited him when he was in hospital, they all did their best to accomodate his needs at meal times without coming off overbearing, they all read through every bit of information that Nick passed along. Of course, they all loved Charlie.
But Nick was in love with Charlie. The sky was blue, grass was green, Elle’s eyes were deep amber, and Nick Nelson was in love with Charlie Spring. Simple as that. And yet Charlie was determined not to see it, determined not to believe that someone as good as Nick could love him so entirely. Sometimes Tao wanted to grab Charlie by the shoulders and shake him until he actually listened for once.
This was one of those moments. The last orange of the sunset was fading behind the horizon, and Nick, Charlie, Tao, and Isaac were sitting around the campfire. Sahar had wandered off looking for the best cell service, Elle had decided to sleep early, complaining of a headache (Tao was glad he’d remembered to pack paracetamol for her) and Tara and Darcy were “gathering firewood” which was probably just code for making out against a tree somewhere. And Isaac was reading by the flickering lantern light, which left Tao to watch Nick and Charlie. They were across the campfire giggling about who knows what, camping chairs scooted so close together the legs were tangling, like they’d completely forgotten Tao and Isaac were even there. Nick ran a hand through Charlie’s curls, and Charlie blushed.
“Shut up!” he said, loud enough for Tao to hear across the campfire.
Maybe it was the fact that he and Elle had finally admitted their feelings that made Tao so frustrated, maybe he wanted Charlie to feel as happy as he did with Elle, or maybe he would’ve gotten to this point regardless, but either way Tao wanted to scream. How could Charlie not see that this was love?
“It’s true!” Nick insisted. “Tao, back me up on this.”
“I have no idea what you two are talking about, but I am almost certain that what ever it is, I am not going to agree with you,” Tao quipped back.
“Tell Charlie that his curls are sexy,” Nick said, voice light and airy and full of summer sunshine. “Like, objectively, I mean.”
Tao resisted the urge to roll his eyes, letting out a heavy sigh instead. “I suppose, if one was attracted to men, then yes, Charlie’s curls could be considered sexy.”
“Ha!” Nick grinned. “I win!”
Charlie turned red once more. “I’m just going to find the toilet,” he announced, pulling himself out of his seat.
Nick watched him leave with a soft, fond look on his face.
“Ugh,” Tao rolled his eyes. “You’re insufferable.”
“Huh?” Nick finally turned his head back to Tao. “What do you mean?”
“With the goo-goo eyes and the flirting,” Tao huffed. “It’s nauseating.”
“Wh–” Nick flushed. “I don’t—I’m not—”
Tao raised his eyebrows. “Do you want to see the pictures I took of you and Charlie in the tent this morning?”
Nick went quiet for a moment, before letting out a long exhale. “Do you think Charlie knows?”
“Obviously not,” Tao crossed his arms. “He’s Charlie. If you don’t tell him how you feel directly, he’s not going to accept it. Half the time he doesn’t even think the rest of us like him.”
Nick visibly relaxed. “You’re right.”
Tao furrowed his brow. “Why do you seem relieved? Don’t you want Charlie to know you love him?”
“Charlie knows I love him,” Nick said, dismissively. “I don’t want him to know I’m in love with him. It would just make everything complicated and he’d feel horrible having to let me down gently even though it’s totally fine that he doesn’t feel the same way, and—”
“Oh my God.” Tao’s voice came out somewhere between a groan and a yell, dripping with frustration. “You cannot be serious right now. I know you’re an idiot—“
“Oi!!”
“But you can’t possibly be this stupid.”
Nick cocked his head to the side, a perfect imitation of a golden retriever. “What do you mean?”
“I mean you’re a complete moron if you think Charlie doesn’t feel the same way about you,” Tao said. He knew, on some level, that this was a betrayal of Charlie’s trust, but, on the other hand, Nick just confessed to being in love with Charlie. It seemed highly unlikely that Tao revealing Charlie’s feelings to Nick would result in anything other than the two of them finally dating each other. And Charlie couldn’t get mad if he got a boyfriend out of it, could he? “I mean, really? Do you think he agreed to come on a camping trip because he likes nature? He literally only said yes because you were the one asking.”
“I—” Nick opened and closed his mouth several times. “He likes nature. He walks Nellie with me all the time.”
“Yeah, to spend time with you, you fool,” Tao rolled his eyes. “Trust me. Charlie would literally never tell you this, but he’s absolutely crazy about you. Has been since you met. He just doesn’t think you feel the same. You know how he is.”
Nick lipped his lips and looked like he might say something else, but he was interrupted before he could by Charlie’s return. Nick looked up at Charlie with wide brown eyes, and a look somewhere between shock and acceptance.
“Hi,” he said to Charlie, voice soft and warm.
“Hi,” Charlie said back, instantly.
Nick’s expression shifted to one of determination. And, oh . This was happening.
“I’m going to bed now,” Tao announced abruptly. “Isaac?”
Isaac looked up from his book for the first time all evening, glanced between Nick, Charlie, and Tao, and closed his book. That was all it took for him to understand what was happening. “Yep," he said.
As Tao and Isaac made their way to the tent, Tao caught Nick’s attention one last time. “Don’t screw this up, Nelson.”
“Don’t screw this up, Nelson,” Tao mumbled, just loud enough for Nick to hear, as he and Isaac moved past Nick and Charlie and climbed into the tent.
Nick’s heart thudded in his chest. He was certainly going to try his best.
Charlie watched Tao and Isaac disappear into the tent with a confused expression, eyebrow quirked. “What did I miss?”
“Tao and I had, uh,” Nick cleared his throat. “An interesting conversation.”
“Oh yeah?” Charlie slid back into his chair, which was still pushed up against Nick’s. It still felt too far away. “What about?”
“Oh, y’know,” Nick’s voice hitched up an octave. “Normal stuff mostly.”
“Uh-huh,” Charlie nodded slowly. “He try to convince you to watch Donnie Darko again?”
Nick chuckled. “Don’t tell him this, but I actually watched it for him last month. I’m just waiting for the perfect moment to drop a reference to it in front of him.”
“How is that simultaneously the sweetest and most evil thing I’ve ever heard in my life?” Charlie was bathed in the soft orange glow of the campfire, the dim light glinting in his deep blue eyes, and for a moment Nick forgot how to breathe. Charlie really was so beautiful.
“You know I love you, right?” Nick blurted, immediately averting his gaze.
“Yeah, Nick, I know,” Charlie put his hand on Nick’s arm, squeezing gently. “And you know that I love you just as much. You’re my best friend.”
“Yeah.” Nick forced himself to meet Charlie’s eyes again. “I—What if I didn’t want to be your best friend?”
Charlie’s face dropped instantly, and Nick knew him well enough to recognize the dead-eyed expression that twisted his features. “W-What?”
“Fuck, shit, that’s not what I meant,” Nick ran a hand through his hair. “I am so bad at this.”
“So bad at what?” Charlie shook his head. “You’re not making sense.”
“At expressing my feelings.”
“Your—” Charlie’s breath hitched. “Your feelings?”
“My feelings,” Nick repeated. “For you.”
The air was heavy around them, quiet save for the sounds of the forest, and their slow breaths.
“Nick…” Charlie’s voice was barely a whisper.
“I’m in love with you, Charlie,” Nick finally said. “God, I am so in love with you. And I thought you didn’t feel the same, but Tao made me realize that maybe you were just scared. I know you’ve been hurt before and you might think I’d be better off without you, but I just. I need you to know that my life is way better because I met you. And if you don’t feel the same, then I would respect that.”
“Nick.”
“But I want to be with you, and—”
“Nick.”
“I needed to tell you that.”
“ Nick!” Charlie put his hands on either side of Nick’s face. “Just kiss me already.”
Nick did not need to be told twice. Charlie smelled like the suncream Nick had insisted he wear, and the smoke of the campfire and his lips were sweet and sticky from the s’mores they’d shared earlier, and Nick was instantly addicted. Nick wasn’t the most experienced kisser—in fact, he’d only kissed one person before, and she turned out to be a lesbian—but he hoped he made up for it with passion. He kissed Charlie like his life depended on it, pouring every ounce of pent-up emotion from the past year into one perfect moment.
They broke apart, breathless, Charlie’s hands still on Nick’s neck.
“Does that mean you feel the same?” Nick asked, uncharacteristically quiet, somehow still terrified of Charlie’s answer.
“Nick.” Charlie’s lips pulled up into a blindingly bright smile. “Yes! Obviously!”
Nick giggled, breathless. “This feels too good to be true,” he admitted.
“Yeah,” Charlie agreed. “I never thought—I mean, you could have anyone, Nick. Why choose me?”
“Because you’re you,” Nick answered simply. “No one else in the world is Charlie Spring. You’re thoughtful and kind and funny and unfairly good at Mario Kart. I know you might not believe me, but you’re the most amazing person in the whole world.”
“Nick,” Charlie flushed, adorably red.
“And I’m gonna keep on telling you that until you believe me.”
“Nick,” Charlie shook his head. “If I say I believe you will shut up and kiss me again?”
Nick grinned. “Yes.”
He expected Charlie to simply lean in again, but instead, Charlie pulled himself out of his own chair and sat down in Nick’s lap.
“What are you doing?” Nick asked, even as his arms snaked around Charlie’s waist to hold him steady.
“This is more comfortable,” Charlie answered. “And I don’t plan on moving for a while.”
The second kiss was less urgent but no less passionate. This time, they didn’t pull away. Nick couldn’t tell you how long they kissed for, only that he never wanted it to end. Nick knew that it was probably ridiculous, that they were too young to know, but he couldn’t help feeling like he and Charlie were going to be together for a long time. Everything about it felt right. Every sensation was new and familiar at the same time, and all Nick’s brain could process was Charlie Charlie Charlie—
A loud creak.
Nick pulled back. “What was that?”
Before Charlie could come up with an answer, the chair under them wobbled and collapsed, sending them into the dirt in a tangle of limbs.
“Fuck,” Nick cursed. “This was my mum’s chair.”
At that moment, Tara, Darcy, and Sahar returned to the campsite.
“What did you do ?” Tara exclaimed.
“We were too heavy to fit in the chair,” Charlie managed weakly, pulling himself off Nick and to his feet.
Darcy grinned. “And why were you attempting to share a chair?”
Charlie glanced at Nick, a question in his eyes that Nick answered with a quick nod and a small smile. Charlie beamed back at him.
“It was easier to make out that way,” Charlie said.
The girls stared, slack-jawed.
“Oh my God!” Darcy shrieked. “Finally!”
At the same time, Tara looked at Nick. “You two are together?”
Nick nodded, unable to wipe the grin off his face. “Yeah. It just happened.”
“You guys are boyfriends now?” Sahar asked.
“Um,” Charlie looked at Nick again, uncertainty and fear written all over his face.
“Yes,” Nick answered, emphatically. “We’re boyfriends. Charlie’s my boyfriend. I’m his boyfriend.”
For a moment, they were lost in each other again. Just saying the word boyfriend felt like a dream come true. Nick’s heart was so full he thought it might burst out of his chest.
“ What is going on out here?” Tao’s sharp voice cut through the moment, as he poked his head and upper body out of the tent. “I heard screaming.”
“Nick and I are boyfriends now!” Charlie blurted out. “Also, we broke one of the camping chairs.”
Tao glanced between Nick and Charlie, eyebrow raised. “If you even think about doing anything other than sleeping in this tent while we’re sharing it, I will never speak to either of you again.” He paused for a beat, before his features softened into a small smile. “I’m happy for you both, though," he said, disappearing into the tent before either of them could respond.
“Okay, now that we’ve got all that excitement out of the way, can we get back to the issue at hand?” Nick gestured to the pile of twisted metal and torn canvas that was once a chair. “What am I gonna tell my mum?”
“Tell her it was a bear?” Charlie tried.
Darcy snorted. “I mean—“
“Nick is clearly a twunk, babe.” Tara cut her girlfriend’s terrible joke off before it started.
“I hate you both,” Charlie glowered at them. “And he’s a hunk.”
“Is this really what we should be discussing right now?” Nick snapped, still fruitlessly attempting to reassemble the chair.
“Nick,” Charlie grabbed his hands. “Can’t this wait until the morning? It’s dark and I’m tired and, at the risk of annoying Tao, I would like my boyfriend to hold me until I fall asleep.”
“Well,” Nick squeezed Charlie’s hands. “When you put it like that….”
“Ugh, you two are already disgusting,” Tara said teasingly, but there was very little bite to her tone. “How is this worse than the pining?”
“The pining?” Charlie asked, already smirking.
“Oh, Nick was truly pathetic,” Tara said, matter-of-factly. “‘ Did you see Charlie’s curls today? I just want to run my hands through them.’ ‘Charlie said the funniest thing earlier.’”
Charlie snickered. “Really?”
Nick’s cheeks burned. “It’s all true.”
“Not to mention the fact that you’re the reason he realized he’s bi,” Darcy added. “I feel like that’s worth mentioning here.”
“Wait, really ?”
“Uh, yeah?” Nick shrugged. “I mean—is that really all that surprising?”
“So–Wait—all this time, you’ve….” Charlie looked up at him with such awe in his eyes, like he couldn’t believe this was real.
“All this time,” Nick repeated. “Since the day we met, even if I didn’t know it then.”
“ Nick—” Charlie cut himself off, pulling Nick into another kiss.
“Alright, and that’s our cue,” Tara said, somewhere in the background, pulling Darcy into their tent.
“Come on,” Charlie said when he pulled back. “Let’s go to bed.”
Nick let Charlie lead him into the tent, where they squeezed into Nick’s sleeping bag (it was bigger than Charlie’s). Tao was going to have a field day with this in the morning, but neither of them cared.
“Goodnight,” Nick whispered. “I love you.”
“I love you, too,” Charlie kissed him softly on the cheek, before nuzzling his face into Nick’s chest. “Sweet dreams.”
Nick smiled to himself, eyes fluttering shut, content with the knowledge that no matter what, his dreams would never be as sweet as reality.