Work Text:
They could never sit still, but Steve really didn't expect them to. When you're a superhero dealing with armies of alien beings on a semi-regular basis, constant motion is par for the course. It made it quite harder, sure, when Thor flipped onto his back when he was specifically put on his front, when Clint inched up beside Bruce and Natasha, when Bucky ran his hand down Tony's back when it was supposed to rest on his knee like he was told, when Sam threw his leg over the back of Tony's, and dear God, Steve was going to have to make a whole new sketch at this point.
"You are the worst models," he said, amusement hidden under fake annoyance. He pointedly made a huge show of erasing Sam's entire leg and replacing it over sketch-Tony's.
"Aww, come on, Cap," Clint said from where his hand was bravely inching up Natasha's waist. "We're here, we're semi-still, we sort of quiet, and we're naked--which have I told you you are utterly depraved, and that I like it?"
"You have, Clint," Bruce said, laughter in his voice. He had started to relax now after the initial awkwardness of undressing and posing. On the one hand, he shouldn't have been shy about it because they'd seen him naked--in public even--far often than any of them combined (save Thor that is). On the other hand, Natasha's head was in his lap. "Several times."
"And I stand by it. You, Cap, are one kinky sumbitch." He expertly dodged slaps to the head. "My point is, what more do you want?"
"Quiet models who hold still when they're told to. That is what I want," Steve said, drawing the line of Thor's chest that disappeared under Tony's chin. He ignored the tongue that poked out of Tony's mouth and licked at the skin beneath him. Thor chuckled and ran his hand through Tony's hair which made Steve sigh.
"What?" Tony asked, tone full of innocence even when his face held none.
"Ten minutes. Can you just... Stay. Ten minutes is all I ask," Steve answered, rolling his eyes.
"You do realize you're including Tony and Clint in that statement, right, Cap?" Sam asked, but he was curling an arm around Bucky's calf, so really, he was a fucking hypocrite.
"Hey!" Tony protested. Clint didn't bother; he only shrugged in acquiescence. "I can hold still for--" Steve was about to point out that he sat with Tony in the workshop all the time and spent even more time with him out of it. He knew beyond reasonable doubt that the only time he could keep still for ten minutes was when he was asleep. And he sleeps in the same bed as Tony--even then ten minutes was pushing it. But then Tony had stopped abruptly of his own accord.
“Someone’s poking me,” he announced. He glanced up at Thor then to his side at Sam who were both grinning. Then he shifted to his side with his back pressed up against Sam’s front, and Steve got his answer. The moaned “Oh, yeah…” was completely unnecessary.
“You better not start fucking,” he warned, knowing he wouldn’t stop them anyway.
“Don’t be ridiculous, babe,” Tony answered through another moan. “No lube.” And then his whole body jerked in Sam’s arms, and he hid his face in Thor’s hip. “No, wait, sorry. I was wrong.” Another moan, then an incredulous, “Where did you even get that?” Steve sighed.
“Jarvis, take a picture. I’ll finish it later,” he conceded, snapping his sketchpad shut.
“Yes, Jarvis,” Clint agreed. “Take a picture. Take lots and lots of pictures.” His voice was oddly muffled, and Steve found it to be because his was licking at the underside of Natasha’s breast. She didn’t seem to mind, however, because her mouth was currently engaged in a kiss with Bruce.
“Move up,” he heard Tony order, slapping Thor’s hip, and then a loud moan from the god when Tony apparently took him into his mouth.
Steve shot a wry glance at Bucky whose shrug said, “What are you gonna do?” Then Bucky gestured him over, and he went.
He was already naked and had been since they started because, according to Tony, “It’s not fair that you get to ogle our naked bodies and we can’t do the same to yours,” so it was easy enough for Bucky to curl his hand around Steve’s cock.
“I knew this was a ridiculous idea,” he mumbled into Bucky’s shoulder. The other man laughed.
“You can barely expect us to listen to you on the field--and when we do, it’s only because we don’t want to get yelled at in debrief,” he pointed out then suddenly yelped, and Steve snapped around to see Natasha’s hand snaking away. “Except Natasha because she is a responsible, mature, beautiful woman who has excellent judgement. Happy?!”
“Wu-pah!” Sam crowed, mimicking a whipping noise, so Bucky punched him.
Sam tried to whack him back, but Tony slapped his hip before the hit could land. “You’ve got your cock in my ass. Fucking focus, Wilson.”
“You two are a menace. Remind me again why I let you join the team?” Steve rolled his eyes.
“Because they needed serious Stark tech upgrades to their shitty Hydra-slash-army tech?” Tony asked.
“Because I need someone to practice target shooting and bird mating calls with?” Clint asked.
“Because they have proven admirable in kvatrutafl?” Thor tried.
“Because I needed two more people for my harem?” Natasha offered.
“Because we couldn’t have stopped them if we tried?” Bruce suggested.
Steve laughed almost hysterically. “Those are… Those are not good reasons.”
“And yet here we are,” Bucky answered with a wide grin. Then it turned soft. “This wasn’t a ridiculous idea, Steve. You have ridiculous teammates, yeah, but getting your ridiculous, ridiculously hot teammates to pose naked for you? That is a genius idea.” His statement was punctuated with a loud moan from Bruce where Natasha had climbed onto his lap and sank onto him. “See?” Bucky gestured to them. “Great idea.”
Steve laughed again. “You are ridiculous,” he said with a roll of his eyes. Then Bucky pulled him down on top of him, and those were the last coherent words he said that night.