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Finally Warm

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     Licorice remembered laying across Vampire’s lap, and smiling blissfully as the other’s hand combed through his hair. Once Licorice had arrived that weekend, Vampire Cookie was even more doting than usual. Every moment Licorice spent falling asleep and waking up was in Vampire’s arms. Licorice tried all weekend not to think about what troubled him, but Vampire never seemed to mind when the thoughts distracted him. Vampire was very good at making those thoughts quiet down, anyway. A few kind words, a hand on his cheek, and that sweet smile always made Licorice feel better in no time.

     How he yearned for that now…

     As the three trudged through the woods, Licorice seemed to be the only one whose worrying showed on the outside. He walked with his scythe close to his chest, his grip tight. Brute, on the other hand, marched ahead with his hammer over his shoulder, standing tall. Every now and then, Brute’s worrying would show on his face, but he only let it do so for a moment. Any uncertainty on his face would be immediately replaced with a stone-cold glare. Of course, Licorice knew that Brute would drop the glare the second he saw Dark Enchantress Cookie again, but while she wasn’t there to frighten him… Brute was visibly mad.

     Bat-Cat was gliding between the branches. Its expression held more determination than anger, but one could still see anger in its eyes, if they looked. Licorice didn’t see the point of holding those expressions when Dark Enchantress Cookie couldn’t even see them. Then again, as Licorice trailed behind them, he began to think that they were just steeling themselves. Dark Enchantress Cookie was a terrifying presence to anyone who would go against her. If Licorice’s friends didn’t want all rebellious feelings they held to drain from them the second she saw them again, they needed to hold on to those feelings tightly. They needed to keep the reason why they felt this way fresh in their minds.

     Licorice was wishing so much that they wouldn’t start any trouble once they saw her again. Brute was smart enough to keep his mouth shut, but Bat-Cat had been… very vocal, about their master’s treatment of Licorice. Of course, they didn’t plan to start a fight with her. All they were going to do was walk past everyone back to their rooms, and go about their days normally. They weren’t trying to act like nothing had happened, but since their staying away all weekend was supposed to get the message across, they weren’t going to do more than that, unless Dark Enchantress Cookie clearly did not receive said message.

     As they walked, a part of Licorice wanted to turn around and run. Dark Enchantress Cookie abandoning him would absolutely rip his heart to shreds, and he would feel especially terrible if he was the one who left, but… he wanted to go back to Vampire Cookie. Being with him was the only thing that made Licorice feel safe anymore. Even after they went back to the base, he would feel the tension around the place every day. Every time Dark Enchantress Cookie approached him from now on, he would dread her asking him to do something that he couldn’t. He would be so afraid of suffering under her disapproval again, and that fear wouldn’t leave for a long time. Even with all of this, he couldn’t just leave… but…

     Bumping into Brute knocked Licorice out of his thoughts. He nearly fell over, and was about to chastise Brute, until he saw her. Once again, Pomegranate stood waiting at the base’s doors, her sleeve covering her mouth, grinning with her eyes. “The master would like a word with you,” she said, before promptly turning around and walking inside.

     “... Well?” Bat-Cat asked, perching on Brute’s shoulder. “Go on! And stop looking so nervous.”

     “It’s Pomegranate Cookie,” Brute murmured, beginning to walk again. “It’s no use. Even if I put on a brave face, that lady can smell fear.”

     “Yeah?” Bat-Cat asked. “What if I leave a dead rat in her room tonight? That’ll give her something to smell…”

     “Bat-Cat, please,” Licorice pleaded, despite Brute’s chuckle. “Whatever happens in there, stay calm, ok? Please don’t escalate things…”

     “Hey, I won’t start anything.”

     “Thank you…”

     “But if someone else does, I will defend you.”

     Licorice sighed.

     As the three stepped into the enormous room and made their way in front of its towering throne, Licorice found himself unable to take his eyes off of the rug. He couldn’t do it. He could feel her looking at him, but he couldn’t look back. He couldn’t.

     “Licorice Cookie.”

     He flinched at her demanding tone. Don’t look, don’t look…

     “Look at me.”

     “...” Licorice slowly looked up at her, and found that she wasn’t smiling. She wasn’t happy with him. “... I-I…” Licorice tried to speak. “I-it wasn’t my idea…”

     “Oh…?” she replied. “What wasn’t?”

     Licorice swallowed. “Th-they wanted to stay with me for emotional support, so I… I told them not to skip work, but-”

     “So they were actively staying away? There were no delays?”

     Licorice wilted. She had just tricked him into confessing, didn’t she? Well, really, Licorice knew that he wouldn’t be able to lie to her. Sooner or later, she would have found out. Licorice sighed, his head hanging low. “Yes, ma’am…”

     He heard Dark Enchantress Cookie sigh. “Licorice Cookie… I don’t know what I’m going to do with you…” Licorice’s grip on his scythe tightened, and he felt a knot tangling in his chest. 

     Bat-Cat’s snarl made Licorice look up. Dark Enchantress Cookie glared at the cat. “... Did you just growl at me?” she asked.

     “... I’m sorry,” Bat-Cat lied. “I couldn’t hold it in.” 

     The sorceress rolled her eyes, then shifted her attention back to Licorice, who immediately looked back at the floor. “You must have better control over your minions,” she said. “The smaller one, in particular, has been particularly unruly.”

     Licorice heard Bat-Cat growl as quietly as it could.

     “Furthermore,” she continued, “they both seem to have forgotten their place.”

     Another growl, barely suppressed this time.

     “The cat, I can understand… but the other one? He knows how to follow orders. Honestly… it makes me wonder if you told them to come back here at all.”

     Licorice gasped. His head jerked up to face her as he felt his heart drop. “I-I did!” he claimed. “I told them to come back here! I told them you’d be mad…”

     “Did you?”

     “I did! I swear!” Why didn’t she believe him? Hadn’t he proved himself by now? Hadn’t he proved his loyalty? She had gotten mad at him once, and he cried in his room for days! Didn’t that mean anything to her?

     “Hmm…” The sorceress stood. “... I believe an example is in order.”

     The trio’s eyes all widened. Brute looked ready to run. Bat-Cat looked at Licorice, who could only manage a quiet, “... W… what…?”

     “I know why your minions are rebelling against me,” she said, slowly stepping down the stairs to her throne.

     Licorice felt his confusion begin to give way to panic. 

     “They wanted to stand up for you… but they did it in a way that they knew would anger me. Well… I’ve received their message.” 

     His knees shook, and as he attempted to back away, he stumbled and fell onto his back, his scythe clattering against the floor. 

     She reached the bottom of the stairs. “... Licorice Cookie… I need to show them that this won’t work.”

     He sat up instantly, his eyes locked on the approaching mage.

     “They knew that angering me would only hurt you… but, perhaps, not to this extent.”

     Licorice’s mind was racing. She wouldn’t, right? He had done everything for her… For so long, everything he had ever done…

     She stopped, standing just a small distance away from him. “... I know that you’re loyal to me… but they’re only loyal to you.”

     He tried to think of something, anything , to dissuade her. Pleading wouldn’t work. She already knew that he was loyal… so why couldn’t that keep him safe? It was supposed to be safe here… Why…? Why? Why?

     Her scepter began to glow. “You understand why I have to do this… don’t you?”

     “GET AWAY FROM HIM!” Bat-Cat screeched, flying in front of Licorice.

     “Move,” the sorceress demanded. “If you wish to be punished more, we can arrange that later. Or…” She lowered the end of her scepter, aiming it at Licorice.

     Bat-Cat stayed in front of the scepter’s path. “You’re sick, y’know that?!” it spat. “What part of this do you not understand?! If you hurt him more, that just proves our point!”

     “It proves that you need to learn to keep your mouth shut,” she said with a scowl.

     “It means you’re an idiot!”

     “. . .” Blood red magic began to ripple over Dark Enchantress Cookie’s staff, her growing rage clear on her face. “Move.”

     “ No! Seriously, what’s wrong with you?! He’s done nothing but worship you! And now you’re going to hurt him, because the people who care about him are sick of watching you do this?!”

     “Are you deaf? MOVE.”

     “I’m not gonna let you hurt him anymore! You’re just a cruel, selfish, manipulative, short-sighted-”



     Licorice could hardly hear his own scream over the lightning-like spell’s booming strike.



     Brute’s hammer fell from his shaking hands to the floor, its owner visibly horrified.



     On his knees, Licorice cradled a scorched Bat-Cat.

 

     “Bat-Cat…? Bat-Cat!” Licorice shook the cat lightly. “H-hey, come on… say something!”

     Dark Enchantress Cookie sighed. “... Licorice Cookie… this is what I was talking about.”

     “Say something!” Licorice pleaded. The cat remained still. “Open your eyes… Just a little, please… Do something! Anything!” Tears were forming in his eyes. That spell looked powerful, but… Bat-Cat would wake up any second now. Any second now…

     “This is why you need to control your minions,” the sorceress said. “This is what happens when they go mouthing off.”

     “Please…” Tears trailed down Licorice’s cheeks, his eyes locked on Bat-Cat, searching for any sign of-... Any movement would do. Anything... “Please…”

     She paused, then knelt down. “... Licorice Cookie… don’t feel guilty about this.”

     Finally, Licorice looked back at her. What was that supposed to mean?

     “I hadn’t meant to hit it, originally,” she continued, “but, well… my magic was charged, and it kept pestering me. It earned this, really.”

     At that, something stirred in Licorice. He felt something that he never thought he could feel towards her: He felt anger. His fear and heartbreak were still his primary feelings at the moment, but there was anger in the back of his mind. How could she say that? Licorice looked down at the fried cat in his arms, the one who had stood up for him, who had yelled in the face of danger… for him… She really thought Bat-Cat deserved this?

     “You understand, don’t you?” she asked. Licorice watched her wordlessly as she stood. “Of course, just because I had a little misfire doesn’t nullify my point from earlier. I still need to make an example for-”

     Brute grabbed Licorice and ran.

     He held Licorice close to his chest, as if he was shielding him from the danger around them, and sped down the halls, barely having time to make turns and slamming his side into multiple walls as a result. In under a minute, Brute burst through the base’s doors and rushed off into the woods. Licorice had never seen such panicked urgency on Brute’s face before.

     As Brute ran, Licorice once again looked at the burnt friend in his arms. Licorice held Bat-Cat’s face close to his ear… and heard it. He heard breathing. The breaths were quiet, but their presence was all that mattered. Licorice sighed shakily, holding the cat close. “... It-... it’ll be ok.” His voice was barely above a whisper. “W-we’ll go back to the kingdom… and Milk Cookie will heal you up… She… She won’t c-catch us… We’ll be fine… We’ll be fine…”

 

     By the time Brute finally began to slow down, Licorice had lost track of time. Looking up at the other, Licorice realized that Brute couldn’t run for much longer, let alone the rest of the way to the kingdom. His breaths were heavy and quick, and he was starting to stumble with every other step. “... Hey, c’mon,” Licorice said, tugging Brute’s fur lightly. “Let me down. We can walk the rest of the way.”

     “No, w… we can’t…” Brute huffed. “She’s… still after us…”

     “Well… we’re in a forest. There’s gotta be somewhere we can hide.”

     “But… how long…?”

     “Until we know for sure it’s safe to move again.”

     “How… would I hide?”

     That made Licorice pause. Brute was right. With how big he was, he wasn’t easy to hide. “Um… Let me down, then I can see what’s around,” Licorice offered. Brute complied, but he didn’t look very hopeful.

     It took him a while, but after a few minutes of Licorice running ahead and Brute lumbering behind him, Licorice pointed to a ravine. Brute furrowed his eyebrows at him. “... How’s that gonna hide me?” Brute asked. “Simple!” Licorice answered. “You lay down, I scatter some leaves and stuff over you, then you’re not visible from above!” Brute looked at the ravine, then back at Licorice. “... You’re sure about this?” he asked. “Well,” Licorice shrugged, “it’s the best option we have. Otherwise, we either wander around, get miraculously lucky, and find a cave, or you could try making your weary legs hoist your heavy self up a tree.”

     “... Yeah, ok,” Brute shrugged, climbing down into the ravine. Licorice nodded, then…

 

     Snap.

 

     His head spun to the side at the sound of the twig breaking. They were coming… Brute seemed to have heard it, too, and hurriedly shuffled to the side, laying under the lip of the ravine’s edge. Licorice kicked some dead leaves over Brute to camouflage any part of him that was still uncovered, but just before he was about to climb down, he had a thought: If they were all caught in the same hiding spot, all of them would be in deep trouble. If just Licorice or Brute got caught, then the other could come rescue them later. Luckily, it didn’t take him long to find the perfect place: A dead tree stood at the edge of a small clearing, with an opening in its side. Licorice was thin enough to slip in there, and even if his pursuers saw the side of the tree with the opening in it, it was just dark enough inside to give Licorice a good chance at remaining unseen. He hurried over to the tree, squeezed himself inside, then sat, still holding Bat-Cat to his chest. Once he was inside, he noticed a small hole in the tree, just a few inches away from his head. As the footsteps grew closer, Licorice watched through the hole in the tree.

     Dark Enchantress Cookie was the first to step into view. Pomegranate Cookie trailed in behind her, seemingly scanning her surroundings for something. Licorice hoped with all his heart that she wouldn’t notice him watching… While it was dark inside the tree, a yellow eye like his might stand out. Lastly, Dark Choco Cookie came into view.

     Licorice felt terror shoot through him as Dark Choco made direct eye contact with him.

     Barely stifling a gasp, Licorice instantly jerked away from the hole, pressing his back against the inside of the tree. His mind began to flood. This was it. He had already been spotted. It was only a matter of time, and then… What would she do, once she found him? She wouldn’t give that “example” if Brute and Bat-Cat weren’t around to see it, would she? Otherwise, there was no point. She didn’t want to punish him , she wanted to punish Brute, and… Bat-Cat… Licorice looked down at the cat in his lap. Once she found them both… what was she going to do?

     “Spread out.” The sorceress’s order jerked Licorice out of his thoughts. “Find them. All of them. Don’t return until you do.”

     “Finally…” Licorice frowned at the sound of Pomegranate Cookie’s voice. “That loud-mouthed fool will finally get what’s been coming to him…”

     “Now, Pomegranate Cookie,” her master said. “Remember, this isn’t to punish him . He hasn’t abandoned our cause. We’ll get him back…”

     “I mean no disrespect, Master… but did you see the fear in his eyes? As you were about to strike him?”

     “Oh, I know… but he understands why I’m doing this. Even if he didn’t… he’s a valuable follower…”

     … She said it. She finally said it, but… of all times to say it… Normally, Licorice would be elated at hearing her say it, but now-

     “... because he’s desperate.”

     Licorice’s already-disheartened expression fell into disbelief. He could feel his heart breaking all over again.

     “That’s why he’s a follower I intend to keep,” she continued. “He’ll do anything for me… no matter the cost.”

     “It’s true,” Pomegranate Cookie chuckled. “He’d jump off a cliff, if you told him to.”

     “When I say, ‘Jump’, he doesn’t ask, ‘How high?’” the sorceress sighed. “He just jumps… right off a bridge.”

     Licorice covered his mouth.

     Pomegranate Cookie laughed. “While I understand the value of such desperate loyalty… how valuable is it, if the one who’s loyal can hardly do anything right?”

     “He tries, at least…”

     She didn’t even disagree… She didn’t say it herself, but she actually agreed that Licorice “couldn’t do anything right”. Well, that settled it. As soon as they left, Licorice was going to have a good, long cry in that tree.

     “It’s going to rain,” Dark Choco Cookie said. After a pause, the enchantress asked, “How do you know?” “It smells damp,” he replied. “There’s enough time to get back to the base… but not much else.”

     “Oh, really?” Dark Enchantress Cookie asked. “Well, you’ve got some experience surviving out in the wilderness, don’t you? You’ve braved rainstorms before, haven’t you? Since you’re best-suited for this hazard… you will stay behind and search for the rebels. What I said before still stands: Do not return until you’ve found them.” Licorice heard Dark Choco grunt in agreement, then the footsteps of the other two slowly getting farther away.

     Then, it went quiet.

     Too quiet.

     “... Licorice Cookie.”

     Licorice shuddered, curling up into a ball.

     “You, Licorice Cookie… You, one of the most loyal out of us all, have lost so much of your faith in darkness.”

     His voice was growing closer. Licorice resisted every urge he had to just run for it. He knew Dark Choco Cookie could catch him instantly.

     “And you, the one of us who longed to be her right hand for so long… You’ve found your way out.”

     The dread growing in Licorice’s chest doubled. Was Dark Choco Cookie jealous? It had always been obvious that he felt trapped in darkness… If he was envious, what was he going to do? 

     “Listen to me…” His voice came from right beside the tree.

     Licorice had always thought of Dark Choco as a bit of a slacker, but if he was serious about his job this time… there was no chance of escape. Without his scythe, Licorice couldn’t channel his magic. He was completely defenseless.

     Dark Choco Cookie blocked the light leaking in through the crack.

     Licorice tried in vain to scoot back further.

     Then… nothing happened.

     At first, Licorice was confused. He stared for a moment, and finally realized why Dark Choco was standing in front of the crack: He was holding out his hand.

     “... When you run… please, never look back.”

     Licorice debated for a moment whether he should trust him, but only did so for a moment. As Licorice leaned towards the crack, he could see Dark Choco’s face better… and he looked sincere. Dark Choco’s expression was almost always stern and cold, so when there was any warmth or emotion on his face, it stood out all the more to those who knew him. 

Licorice kept an arm around Bat-Cat, and took Dark Choco’s hand. As Dark Choco helped him down from the tree, he didn’t let go of Licorice’s hand just yet. “I mean it,” he said. “Never. Look back.” Once Licorice nodded, the other let go. “You are doing the right thing,” he continued. “You have someone waiting for you, in the light... You’re lucky.” Licorice paused, then smiled, just a little.

 

     By the time the trio made it to the Kingdom, it was almost nighttime. Licorice was already tired from the trek, but he knew that it wasn’t close to how Brute must have felt. The werehound looked utterly exhausted. He hadn’t really rested after they stopped to hide. They had both felt too paranoid to stay in one place for too long. That, and the storm that Dark Choco had predicted was spreading behind them. At the moment, it was only over the woods behind them, but they didn’t have much time to spare. Even without the storm, they knew that the Kingdom’s walls were the only thing that could keep them safe. Dark Enchantress Cookie would assign an occasional spying or stealth mission there, but she had never attacked it outright. The mage was unpredictable, so this one consistent behavior was the only hope that the two had left.

     In the distance, past the edge of the treeline, Licorice could make out the twinkling of light shimmering against Vampire’s sleek, ruby-red hair. A wide, joyful smile spread across his face. Despite the aching in his feet, he ran ahead… until he saw the others. The smile fell from his face as he slowed to a stop, hiding behind a tree. Vampire Cookie was floating, with his back facing the woods and three Cookies standing in front of him. Licorice didn’t like their expressions. They all looked concerned… but about what? Was Vampire okay?

     The one with leaves for hair spoke first: “We’re just… concerned for you. Please don’t take this the wrong way…”

     “Seriously, you guys?” Vampire asked. “I’m fine… You need to relax.” He motioned to another green-haired Cookie in the group. “Mint! Tell ‘em!” This “Mint” person seemed uncomfortable at being put on the spot, but spoke regardless: “I… have to agree with Herb. Are you certain you can trust this fellow? You’ve only known him for a few weeks…”

     Licorice rolled his eyes. So that’s what this was about… Did they really have to do this right now?

     Vampire groaned, rolling onto his back mid-air. “And people don’t seem to wanna give me any more time to get to know him,” he argued. “Everybody’s, what, seen him once or twice? They’ve heard that he works for someone dangerous?”

     “You must admit, that is a bit of a problem,” a third, yellow-haired Cookie said. “The one he works for? She’s dangerous…”

     “You don’t have to talk about her like I’ve never met her, Sparkling,” Vampire said with a dismissive wave. “Sparkling” looked shocked. “... You mean… like you’ve never heard of her, right? You’re not telling me you…”

     “I did,” Vampire shrugged. “And yeah, her aura’s kinda terrifying, but… it’s not like I’m gonna come into contact with her much.”

     “That’s not what we’re worried about,” Herb said. “We’re worried about what he’ll do for her.”

     “Lemme guess,” Vampire sighed. “You think she’s gonna ask him to use me, or hurt me, or something like that?” The three remained silent, sharing looks with each other or the ground, depending on how uncomfortable they were with outright saying their answer. “Well, in that case, your worst fear has already come to pass. He couldn’t do it.”

     “What do you mean?” Sparkling asked.

     “I mean she asked him to use me, and he couldn’t do it.” Vampire looked up at the sky. “... Y’know… I worry about her, too… but not in the way you guys do. I don’t worry about how she’d use him to hurt me …” His head lolled to the side, looking at the three. “I worry about what she’d do to him .”

     “She’s that cruel?” Mint asked. “But I’d heard that he was so loyal…”

     “He is,” Vampire shrugged. “He’d bend over backwards for her. And after all this time singing her praises, you wanna know what she did? After he couldn’t do something that he thought I would abandon him over?”

     Licorice hoped Vampire wasn’t about to tell these complete strangers that he cried over that… a lot…

     “What did she do?” Herb asked. The three all looked as scared as if Vampire was telling them a ghost story under a blood moon.

     “She broke his heart,” Vampire replied. “Shattered it into a million pieces, then threw the pieces in the furnace.” The three collectively sighed with relief, before-... Ohh heck no, was that pity on their faces?! Licorice was ready to storm out there and-

     And then Brute picked him up by his hood, then plopped him down outside of the treeline. “... Need… a bed…” he groaned. The three noticed them instantly, all with shocked expressions, while Vampire wore a smile. He glided over with his arms open, ready to scoop Licorice up in a hug… before he froze upon seeing Bat-Cat, laying scorched and unconscious in Licorice’s arms. “What-...?” He landed, placing his hands on Licorice’s shoulders. “What happened?”

     As Licorice tried to think of an answer, the realization of what it all meant came crashing down onto him, all at once.

     Dark Enchantress Cookie only ever kept him because she saw him as a desperate little pawn.

     She fried his best friend for defending him, and would probably do the same to Vampire Cookie, if he angered her enough.

     Licorice didn’t listen to Bat-Cat sooner, and now it was injured.

     Licorice had been forced away from a place where he thought he would finally be accepted.

     The only place he had left to go was somewhere where the only Cookie who loved him would constantly be judged and shamed, just for loving him.

     Before he knew it, tears were pouring from Licorice’s eyes. A broken chuckle escaped him. “I-... I quit,” he said weakly. Another laugh escaped him before he broke out into sobs, collapsing into Vampire’s arms. Vampire held him immediately, putting one hand to the back of Licorice’s head. “Oh, my dear,” Vampire soothed. “It’s alright, let it out…” Licorice felt Vampire turn his head. “Go get Milk Cookie. Tell him to come to my place.” Licorice buried his face into Vampire’s shoulder, trying to hide it from the others. He heard one set of footsteps take off running, while Sparkling’s voice came close. “Are you alright?” he asked. “Is there anything I can get for you?” Licorice peeked over Vampire’s shoulder at him, while Vampire smiled. “Thanks, but we’re alright. He prefers being alone when he’s like this… I’m gonna take him home.” 

     “Ah, alright… If you need anything, you know where to find me.”

     Vampire nodded, and flew off with Licorice. He floated on his back, allowing Licorice to mostly be able to lay on him for the flight. Vampire still held him securely. “So,” Vampire began, “when we get home… do you need anything? Do you wanna just go straight to bed, or…?”

     “I’m sorry,” Licorice whimpered.

     “Wh-? What do you mean?”

     “I h- hic - heard what they were s-saying… I’m sorry y-you have to put up with this… I… I’m sorry I’m so m-much trouble…” Vampire put his hand to the other’s cheek, tilting Licorice’s head up to look at him.  The light of the full moon shone on Vampire, his crimson hair shimmering against the dark sky. “Licorice. You are not trouble.”

     “B-but I-”

     “Shh… I don’t mind helping you with things. That’s what couples do.”

     “But w-when have I-”

     “I haven’t needed help lately. You have. But, I guess… if you really wanna do something for me…” Vampire glided through the window of his house’s upstairs guest room, setting Licorice down carefully. He returned his hand to Licorice’s cheek. “... I live for your smile.”

     After a moment, a small smile formed on Licorice’s face.

     “There it is,” Vampire said, his hand moving from Licorice’s cheek to his shoulder. “Now c’mon, let’s go wait for Milk Cookie.”

     “... After that… I think there is something I’d like…”

     “Hmmm?”

     “Can we fall asleep in front of the tv again? I think I need one of those nights right now…”

     “Of course, of course… How much ice cream do you need?”

     “... I’ll get the cooler.”

     “Dude, no. You’ve been all over the woods today. Your little feeties are so sore by now… Alch will go get the cooler.”

     Licorice giggled, then smiled warmly at the other. Of course Vampire could make him smile at a time like this…