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“That went better than expected.”
Brian puts his arm around your shoulders, but you immediately slap at his hand and move further away on the bench. The sun is nearly gone over the horizon; normally at this time you would be sitting at the dining room table with your parents. After weeks of trying to avoid the inevitable, Brian had come over for dinner. Your stomach made an audible gurgling noise, the only sound to come from you since ushering Brian out of the door before your parents could get to a new volume in their screaming.
“I could go for a chili dog.” Brian lounges next to you. “No school tomorrow: let’s go down to the pier, the vendors don’t close up shop for another hour or so.”
“You go ahead.”
“Really?”
“I should be asking you that.” You keep staring forward, fighting back the lump in your throat. “Brian, what the hell was that?”
“What?”
Brian scratches his head in apparent confusion, the motion causing his earring to swing on the tiny chain and make a slight jingling noise. He’s wearing what he usually wears: ripped jeans, dirty sneakers, and a playful grin. The shirt is new; you had bought it for him at the mall, not sure if the band was up to Brian’s tastes (you personally were a casual fan) but the gorey, vulgar design was exactly his style. Brian unceremoniously rejected the gift receipt you offered; the next day he went and bought a CD. Currently, Forsaken Sisters is one of his favorite bands and he brags to his friends about how cool you are under the goody two shoes front. You would be practically beaming at his gushing over you, even with his friends rolling their eyes or pretending to gag. Really, they should be sick of hearing Brian go on, but he doesn't care and you're personally majorly flattered. You had no idea Brian Kelly of all people could be a closet romantic.
“You said not to worry and that you would be, and these are your words, on your best behavior.”
Looking at Brian now, wearing that vulgar shirt and a carefree smile, you could scream yourself from frustration. He truly appears unphased.
“Brian, you promised I didn’t have anything to worry about.”
“Your parents are the ones who have sticks up their asses; I barely got out a hello before they started-”
“I told you what they were like.”
“Should I just take that shit with a smile?” Brian scoffed. “You know, you could have backed me up a little. If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were embarrassed to even bring me around.”
“That’s not true.” You clasp your shaky hands together in an attempt to keep them steady in your lap. “I already told you before, my parents won’t listen to me.”
“Parents rarely do.” Brian replies wryly. “You still didn’t have to let them trash me; you dragged me out of there like I was the problem.”
“You didn’t exactly help insulting them back.” You tell him crossly. “I thought you were going to keep cool, not make it worse.”
“I made it worse?! Wow.” Brian shakes his head with a humorless chuckle. “I can not believe you’re taking their side.”
“I’m not agreeing with what they said, I’m saying you didn’t have to provoke them into yelling.”
“So it’s my fault? Hey, I don’t need this.” Brian slaps his hands on the bench and abruptly stands up. “If I wanted a lecture, I would have just stayed home; my folks are more than happy to get on my case, but that’s expected. If they had said any of the shit to you, that your folks said to me-”
“My parents aren’t like yours.”
“Between the criticism of my clothes, my grades, and me in general, I almost thought we took a wrong turn and ended up at my place. What do you expect me to say? Do I have to go along with their bullshit?”
“No, but you don’t understand, they’re not like-”
“Like what? Assholes? Anyway, you need to grow a spine, tell them to lay off.”
“You’re not listening to me!”
Brian falls silent, not just from the shock of you raising your voice, but at the sight of tears forming in your eyes.
The stress building up since yesterday at introducing Brian to your parents and what might happen has already left you exhausted and tense. Tears roll down your cheeks and you try to wipe them away quickly, but it’s all you can do to keep speaking without your voice giving way to incoherent sobbing.
“It’s different for you. You can still talk to your parents. I know mine are awful, but what am I supposed to do if they don’t give a shit what I think or say?”
Brian opens and closes his mouth without actually saying whatever he meant to; he’s staring at you incomprehensibly, arms at his sides as you speak as clearly as someone could while openly weeping.
“Even if they’re not always fair, your parents do care if something bad happens to you. I only bother to do well in school and stay out of trouble because I’m on my own. If something happens to me, I don’t have anyone to go to.”
“You, but,” Brian clears his throat, seemingly snapped out of his frozen state as he moves to sit next to you. “Hang on, you have me.”
“Oh yeah? I practically begged you to not lose your temper and I couldn’t rely on you to even try!”
Brian had noticed something off about you ever since you agreed to let him meet your parents. At first you were relatively assured, but the closer it came to the date, the more withdrawn and distracted you became. Brian assumed you were being too cautious and a worry wart, particularly when he showed up at your door sans the button down shirt and khakis he had admittedly said he would wear for the visit. It wasn't about rebelling necessarily: Brian wanted to be himself and what was the point of presenting as someone else when ideally the two of you would be dating for the foreseeable future? He couldn’t keep up the clean cut choir boy act and didn’t want to.
That being said, it didn’t occur to Brian what things were like for you at home: you were the one who was put together. He’s never even seen you get angry. Brian definitely hadn't foresaw that the first time you would cry in front of him would be from something he did, or more accurately, something he failed to do.
“You have no idea what it’s like.” You hiccup and rub at your watery eyes. “I can’t just say to hell with them. I’m not like you, Brian. I’m too chicken shit, I already know it, but do you honestly think I’m proud of that?”
“No, I didn’t mean…baby, I’m so sor-”
“Don’t try to take it back just because I’m crying!”
Brian shrinks away; he was going to try to hug you, but apparently that will make matters worse. He's frankly at a loss of how to approach you and your refusal of comfort. Regardless of being angry or not, seeing your face wet with tears and hearing the raw hurt in your voice has Brian struggling to not disobey you in favor of having you safe and sound into his arms.
Of course, that’s still what Brian wants. Come to think of it, that's the norm for you two. You're the one looking out for him, giving advice, introducing him to new things you think might peak his interest, and generally making the day to day monotony bearable.
Even concerning tonight, it was Brian who insisted over and over that everything would be fine. Sure it would be a pain in the ass, but it was just one meal, and maybe you were just being too cagey about the whole thing. Brian just wanted it to be done and hadn't looked much into just why you were acting more high strung than he’d ever seen you.
“I’m sorry.”
“Brian,”
“I am. I didn’t take it seriously.”
“No shit.” You sniff, eyes still glued to your lap. “My parents wouldn’t stop bugging me about meeting you. I didn’t even want to tell them I was dating, but then I would have had to come up with lies for where I’ve been going after school and on the weekends. Having to do that would just make this mire complicated.”
“Sounds like your folks have major control freak issues.”
“Again, no shit. Not that I expected it to go well, but I really needed you to just…babe, when was the last time I asked you to do anything? Like, aside from not copying my homework or stealing my chips.”
The day Brian had swerved to avoid a pothole, knocking into you and sending the book in your hands right into a muddy puddle was how you two officially were introduced despite going to the same school.
Most people would have given him an earful or insulted him for the mishap. Brian didn’t expect you to just pick up the ruined book and accept his apology, reassuring him you were fine. You didn’t even ask Brian to pay for the replacement; after that, he found himself noticing you more. Call it curiosity, at least in the beginning.
Not long after the incident, Brian bought you a new book with his allowance. The same afternoon, Brian was skating at a leisurely pace as you led him the book store you liked to stop by after school. It was actually fun to browse the shelves as you made recommendations. Vinh had pantomimed a heart attack when Brian walked through their bedroom door that evening with two brand new novels and a book mark; his performance earned him a pillow in the face and a middle finger salute for good measure. They were decent reads too, though not quite page turners; you chose them based on what you gathered what would keep Brian's attention and he ended up finishing both.
All this time everyone from his teachers to his parents had been twisting Brian's arm to bother with literature and all it took on your end was asking questions and encouragement to find the kind of stories he would want to read in the first place.
It was like second nature for you to take Brian and what he liked or wanted into consideration. For whatever reason, you’ve been under the impression that Brian isn’t as selfish and immature as everyone else seems to think he has.
“You’re not a coward. I should have listened, really listened. I screwed up.” Brian conceded quietly. “I can walk you home or at least part of the way so they don’t see us together.”
“I already left with you; it doesn’t matter. I’ll deal with it.”
Brian’s stomach drops like he’s going down on a roller coaster. Has this incident convinced you he’s just another person you can’t rely on to consider your own feelings? You’re still crying; people walking by are staring, some give him dirty looks, perhaps presuming this is the result of a breakup and they might be partially right depending on what you say next.
“I’m sorry, okay?” Brian’s voice cracks a little. “Can I hug you?”
You shake your head stubbornly, all but curling up into a ball, like you can’t even stand the thought of him touching you. If the intention was to have Brian feel like his heart is being ripped from his chest, it’s working.
“Come on, I’m trying to-” Brian blinks hard; his eyes are starting to sting and water. “Are you that mad? Can’t you even look at me? I wasn’t trying to make things harder on you.”
“I know that. I feel bad about all this. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell them off before. They were wrong and I don’t want you to apologize to them or anything. I wanted to avoid more drama.”
“I get that.” Brian inches closer to your end of the bench. “Are you still upset with me?”
“I’m mostly drained.” You finally look at him. “Is the hug offer still valid?”
“Always.” Brian can’t help but grin in relief. “Bring it in, Bubba.”
“Oh my gosh; can’t you just stick with ‘baby’?” But you smile into Brian’s shoulder as he brings you in for a tight embrace. “Hey, are you trying to break my back?”
“I thought you were going to call it quits.” Brian confesses softly. “You had me sweating for a minute.”
“What?” You pull away with an expression of disbelief. “I wasn’t thinking of breaking up.”
“No one would blame you. I’m glad you didn’t.” Brian chuckles. “I don’t think I could deal, you know? I really like us together.”
“Honestly, I thought you might dump me and my baggage.”
“You’re the one who has to handle my screw up. Will you really be okay?”
“They’ll cool down eventually. At least they won’t throw me out or anything.”
“You could always room with me.” Brian’s hands move down to your hips. “Watch out: your parents might suck, but mine want to adopt you. If you moved in, Vinh might have some competition.”
“Do they like me?”
“Do you have to ask?” Brian leans in. “They love you, think you’re a good influence; my old man said if we ever fight, he’s taking your side, no questions asked.”
You fight back a smile. “Don’t exaggerate.”
“Jokes aside, if you need a place to get away from the ‘rents, the door is open.” Brian groans. “Dammit I need my own room.”
“You know, my parents are going out of town this weekend.” You play with his earring. “They leave Saturday morning and come back Monday; if someone were to leave the back gate unlocked with our pool drained of water….well, I guess anyone could just come over and, I don’t know, bring their skateboard. Or whatever.”
“Won’t you get in trouble?”
“Why? I was at the library.” You put on an innocent doe eyed expression. “I wouldn’t know anything about any delinquents sneaking into the yard while I was busy studying.”
“So, you think I’m a delinquent?”
“I know you are; but I like to think I don’t judge people like my mom and dad do. I want to see the whole person.” You kiss Brian’s cheek and rest your head against his chest. “Until I met you, I didn’t realize how badly I wanted someone to see me. I didn’t think there was much worth noticing.”
“Is that you talking or your parents?”
“Sometimes I’m not sure.” You say truthfully. “I love books: I feel like I can express myself by reading about other people and places, if that makes sense. I can pretend I’m someone else or somewhere else. It's not just an escape: it helps me get through reality without totally losing it.”
“I can relate. When I’m on my board, it’s like nothing matters. I can't hear anyone's bullshit. Best feeling in the world.”
It occurs to Brian to say being with you is the best feeling in the world, but that might be too much too soon. You might think he's teasing or feeding you a line to get back in your good graces.
“I still need my books, but I think I like being with you more.” You smile bashfully. “I know, I’m lame-”
Brian’s hands are suddenly on either side of your face. There’s a moment of hesitation, but it only lasts for the second it takes for you to nod your head. Brian presses his lips to yours once, softly, before coming back with more force. You feel his tongue slide across the slight part of your lips and you wrap your arms around his neck, pushing your body against his. Whether people are staring at the blatant PDA is a non issue; all you can focus on right now is Brian’s hands and his soft moan when you suck at his tongue lightly.
“Shit.” Brian pulls back just as quickly as he had moved forward. “If we keep this up, we’re gonna get the cops called on us for public indecency.”
“Good point.” Your lips are still tingling as you smile coyly. “Did I tell you my parents have a king sized bed and a tub with jacuzzi jets in their bathroom?”
“Uh, not that I can recall.” Brian’s self control is slipping from his fingers. “Just so I’m not misunderstanding, you are suggesting we fool around at your place while your parents are gone?”
“Do you not want to?”
“No!” Brian says without missing a beat. “No, I’m…I am so up for that.”
“Cool. But first," Your stomach gurgles. "Chili dogs.”