Work Text:
Goku rushes off to confront the spy before Gojyo can point out that Sanzo has the most experience in dealing with unruly children. He is still creeping up behind her when the fucking earth rises up from beneath his feet, sweeps around him, and traps his arms and weapon against his body with a swirl. Goku instantly forgets all about spies, assassins, and preemptive counter-attacks.
"Cool! How did you do that?"
The girl turns to face him, and he realizes that she is blind. "Bending, dumbass. And you should know that you sound like an elephant-hippo when you are trying to be sneaky. So who sent you after me? My parents?"
Goku doesn't hear her last question. His brain is still stuck on elephant-hippo. He knows the education that he has received in Chang'an has been unconventional, but surely it hasn't skipped over that much. If his arms hadn't been completely trapped, he would have scratched the back of his head until it made sense. Instead he just says, "This is shitty."
"You're telling me. I just wanted to buy some meat buns. But when I walked into the shop, there was a loud noise, and the floor momentarily wasn't there, and then I was stuck in the middle of this stupid forest, and some punks were trying to eat me."
"Punks?"
She snaps her fingers. A pit opens up in the ground between them, revealing a pit full of Kougaiji's best disposable youkai assassins. They manage to shout a few things about fresh meat and sutras before the girl seals them back in with another careless wave of her hand.
"Er--"
"And I'm still hungry!"
"That's my line!"
When the rest of the ikkou comes to rescue him, they find him and the spy clutching their sides and laughing at a series of very rude statues that someone has apparently abandoned in the middle of the forest. The girl is the first to notice them, though her only reaction is to curl her bare toes into the dusty ground. For his part, Goku only looks up at Sanzo and says, "Hey! Hey! I want to fight her again!"