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Akutagawa didn’t understand why Dazai was so obsessed with the damn weretiger. He wasn’t even a good subordinate. Akutagawa did everything Dazai asked for him, and even more. But Dazai never praised him once.

Enough was enough.

If Dazai wasn’t going to pay attention to him of his own free will, then Akutagawa would force him to. If he managed to capture the man, Dazai would be forced to give him the attention he wanted. 

It was a Saturday morning when Akutagawa went to Mori to ask if he could have some drugs. Of course, the man had been a doctor so he had access to lots of drugs. Akutagawa ended up obtaining a benzodiazepine from him in injection form, so he could knock Dazai out temporarily. 

He knew Dazai’s schedule like the back of his hand. The man always went on nightly patrol by himself, checking for any suspicious activity. Akutagawa wasn’t ashamed to admit that he followed him from a distance sometimes. He wouldn’t necessarily call it stalking, he just really loved his Dazai.

He waited until nighttime fell before starting towards Dazai’s path. The man always took the same path, so it wasn’t difficult to memorize after multiple nights of following him.

He ended up hiding in a bush while Dazai started his route. He wasn’t sure if he was going to be able to inject him successfully. After all, if Dazai sensed his presence, he would surely fight back. Akutagawa knew he wasn’t capable of winning against the man. 

But much to his surprise, even when he slipped out from the bushes, Dazai still didn’t notice him (or so he assumed). Akutagawa was quick with his task. He lunged forward as quietly as he could and stabbed the needle into Dazai’s arm, right through his bandages. Dazai spun around and swung a fist, but the drug was already taking effect and he lost his balance. He stumbled forward, missing Akutagawa’s face. Akutagawa quickly reached his arms out and caught the man before he could faceplant in the pavement.

“Don’t worry, Dazai,” Akutagawa murmured as he lifted the man up in his arms. “You’re safe. It’s just me.” He carried Dazai to his apartment where he had prepared ropes to restrain him. 

When he arrived at his apartment, he placed Dazai on his bed in his room and gently tied him up. He leaned back to examine his work and smiled to himself at the sight of his beautiful Dazai. His plan had worked. Dazai was all his.

A few hours passed of Akutagawa staring at the man and stroking his hair, waiting for the drug to wear off. When it finally did, Dazai’s eyes slowly fluttered open and a look of shock crossed his face when his vision cleared.

“Hello,” Akutagawa said softly, brushing Dazai’s bangs away from his forehead.

“ Akutagawa ?!” Dazai exclaimed. “ You did this to me?” 

Akutagawa frowned slightly. “Why so surprised?” 

“Why would you drug and kidnap me?” he asked. “Did Mori put you up to this?” 

Akutagawa shook his head. “No, I did it on my own.”

Dazai frowned. “Why?”

“Because. I wanted you all to myself.”

Dazai rolled his eyes. “Don’t tell me that you still have a creepy obsession with me?”

“Creepy obsession?”

“Yes,” Dazai huffed. “Listen, I have a cute subordinate to get back to, so could you let me go?”

Akutagawa frowned. “No.”

Dazai looked taken back for a moment, but he quickly composed himself. “Let me go, Akutagawa.”

“No.” 

“Why not?”

“Because!” Akutagawa exclaimed. “You don’t need anyone else but me! I’ve always been there for you! I’ve always done everything you asked of me! Why do you care about that damn weretiger so much?” 

Dazai frowned again. “So that’s what this is about. You’re jealous.”

“Of course I am! He gets all of your attention and I never got any of it!”

Dazai let out a huff. “This is petty, Akutagawa. You need to let me go.”

Akutagawa fell silent for a moment. He felt his throat tightening and his eyes watering but he blinked the tears away and forcefully swallowed. He couldn’t let the man go. Akutagawa needed him. Now that he had him, he didn’t want to let him go. He didn’t want Dazai to leave him again. 

“I can’t let you go,” Akutagawa whispered, gazing down at Dazai. The man had an unreadable expression on his face that frustrated Akutagawa. “Then you’ll leave me again.”

He climbed onto Dazai, straddling him. He wasn’t sure how he managed to tie him up, or why the man hadn’t put up a fight when Akutagawa had injected him with the drug. But none of that mattered. Akutagawa finally had Dazai where he wanted him and he was never letting him go. Even if Dazai had known his plans from the start, the man hadn't put up a fight and that was enough hope for Akutagawa. 

Akutagawa leaned down and boldly pressed his lips to Dazai’s, sighing blissfully at the feeling of his favorite person’s lips on his. He pulled back to study the man’s face, but it was still unreadable.

“I love you, Dazai,” he breathed, leaning down to nuzzle his face in the man’s neck. He pressed his lips to the flesh, sucking a love bite there as a mark of possession. Dazai was his. Not anyone else’s, especially the bratty weretiger. “You’ll never leave me again. You’ll stay right here, tied up for me, got it?” He pulled back to see the man’s reaction.

Surprisingly, Dazai was staring right at him. Akutagawa felt his face heat up. Dazai hardly ever gave him attention at all. He was surprised that the man even remembered his name. 

“Aren’t you going to say something?” he asked desperately. He just wanted to hear Dazai’s voice again.

“What am I supposed to say?” Dazai finally spoke. 

Akutagawa swallowed thickly. “I. . .I don’t know.” 

“It’s not like I can go anywhere,” Dazai continued. “I guess that means you can do whatever you want to me, right? Just like what you wanted.”

Akutagawa felt his heartbeat quicken at the words. Dazai was right. He could do anything he wanted to him. He was so excited he could hardly speak. He reached trembling hands out to cup the man’s face.

“That’s right,” he said. “You’re mine, Dazai. And I’m never letting you go.”

Dazai just scoffed and looked away. Akutagawa knew it would take time for Dazai to gain affection for him. He was prepared to wait as long as he needed to, especially since he had the man right where he wanted him. No more chasing. 

“Are you hungry? Thirsty?” Akutagawa asked, brushing his thumbs over the man’s cheeks affectionately. 

Dazai shivered. “No.”

Akutagawa sighed, unsure if Dazai was telling the truth or not. “Fine,” he said, crawling off of the man. “It’s late, so we should probably go to bed.” He made his way over to his closet, pulling some comfortable clothes out to sleep in. He didn’t bother going to the bathroom to change. He wanted Dazai to see him undress. He wanted the man to crave him so badly.

Sadly, Dazai didn’t even spare him a glance. It made Akutagawa feel even more frustrated. Why couldn’t the man just pay attention to him? He frowned and finished changing, before storming towards the bed. 

“You could at least look at me, you know,” he grumbled as he climbed back onto the bed, laying next to Dazai.

“Why would I want to do that?”

The words definitely stung. Akutagawa knew he was doing something very terrible by kidnapping Dazai and keeping him hostage in his room, but at the same time, it was all Dazai’s fault in the first place. If he had just chosen Akutagawa over that stupid weretiger and hadn’t abandoned him, Akutagawa wouldn’t have had to go through all that trouble to kidnap him. If only Dazai had stayed and appreciated him, to even just tell him that he was doing a good job. He feared he would never be praised by the man. 

“Fine,” Akutagawa muttered as he pulled the covers over them. He wrapped an arm around the man, snuggling closer. “You can hate me all you want, but I’m all you have right now.”

Dazai laughed, causing Akutagawa to frown. “All I have? You wish. Whether you like it or not, my new subordinate is going to come save me. And he’s a lot better than you.”

Akutagawa felt anger boil up inside of him. He sat upright and crawled on top of the man. “Shut up!” he growled. “I’ll kill him if I have to! Nothing and no one is getting in the way of our relationship!”

Dazai raised a brow. “Our relationship?” he said. “I think you’re misunderstanding something, Akutagawa. You and I have no relationship.”

Akutagawa knew Dazai was purposely trying to piss him off, and he really shouldn’t have fallen for it so easily, but he couldn’t help it. Before he could stop himself, he slapped Dazai across the face. 

“I said shut up!” he snapped. “I’m the one in control here, got it? You’re mine now whether you like it or not!” He was panting and his face was burning with anger and shame. He shouldn’t have let Dazai get the best of him. He needed to be smarter.

Dazai fell silent after that, and Akutagawa hated that he was starting to feel guilty for slapping him. He found himself heading to the kitchen to get an ice pack to place on the man’s cheek, where a pink mark had formed from the slap. He gently pressed it against the spot.

“I’m sorry,” Akutagawa mumbled. “I just love you so much. I don’t know what I have to do to get you to pay attention to me.”

Dazai didn’t reply, and Akutagawa knew he had truly fucked up. He wanted to bang his head repeatedly against a wall. Of course Dazai would hate him. Akutagawa had kidnapped him, for fucks sake! 

After a few minutes of pressing the ice pack to Dazai’s cheek, Akutagawa made his way back to the kitchen to put it back in the freezer. He returned to his room and crawled back under the covers, wrapping his arms around Dazai and tugging him close. Dazai was still tied up, and Akutagawa felt bad for making him sleep so uncomfortably, but at the same time, he couldn’t risk the man escaping.

“Goodnight,” he said softly, placing his hand on top of Dazai’s hands, the man’s wrists tied tightly with rope. “If you need anything, just wake me. I love you.”

Dazai didn’t reply, as expected. Akutagawa told himself over and over again that it took time. He needed to be patient. 

He didn’t remember when he fell asleep, but the next time he opened his eyes, sunlight was streaming through the curtains of the window. He sat up groggily in bed, yawning and stretching a bit. He gazed down and a fond look crossed his face when he saw Dazai sleeping.

“Dazai,” he said softly, cupping the man’s cheek. “It’s time to get up. You need to eat breakfast.” 

Dazai stirred, mumbling something incoherent under his breath, but he didn’t open his eyes. Akutagawa sighed, deciding to leave him alone while he made breakfast. 

He made his way to the kitchen, starting to make eggs and toast. He heard shuffling coming from his bedroom a few moments later, catching his attention. He hurried to finish making breakfast so he could check up on Dazai. He plated the food and brought it to his room, with two glasses of water. 

“Good morning,” he said softly when he found Dazai staring at him. He set the plates and glasses on the nightstand. 

The man looked exhausted still, like he had had trouble sleeping. Akutagawa’s brows furrowed with concern and he sat down on the bed, cupping Dazai’s face.

“Did you sleep okay?” he asked, worriedly.

“Oh, yes,” Dazai said. “The ropes digging into my flesh were a nice touch. I had the sweetest of dreams.” 

Akutagawa sighed. He should’ve known. “I’m sorry,” he said sincerely. “I wish I could make this more comfortable for you. I just…can’t risk you running away from me. I need you.” 

Dazai rolled his eyes. “You need a psychiatrist, that’s what you need.”

Akutagawa frowned. “Says the man always trying to commit suicide.”

Dazai shrugged. “At least suicide is a better fate than this one.”

“Stop that,” Akutagawa said, sounding desperate. “Stop acting like being with me is the worst thing in the world!”

Dazai stared at him, silently. Akutagawa truly felt like crying, but he knew better than to make himself look weak in front of the man.

“You never paid attention to me,” he whispered. “You hardly even looked at me. I was never praised for doing good. I never felt like I did good. I always felt like I wasn’t enough, that I was failing and disappointing you. I just wanted to hear you praise me. Just once . And then that damn weretiger comes out of nowhere and suddenly all you’re doing is praising him. It makes me feel like shit.” 

Dazai seemed speechless, which Akutagawa was glad for. He wanted to make the man speechless. He wanted Dazai to understand how terrible he had made Akutagawa feel all those years. 

“What is it about me that you hate so much?” he heard himself mumbling. He shouldn’t have asked that. He really didn’t want to know. He knew it would only damage his self esteem even more, and he wasn’t sure how he’d be able to pick himself up after that. 

But Dazai’s next words were not what he was expecting.

“I don’t hate you,” he said. 

Akutagawa stared at him with wide eyes. “B-But…B-But then why…why did you ignore me?” 

“Because you didn’t need my praise.”

Akutagawa gripped Dazai’s shirt tightly and shook him. “That’s not true! I needed it! I still do!”

“Why?” Dazai asked. “You kept getting stronger, you kept succeeding. You did all of that without a single word from me. You didn’t need my praise. Maybe you wanted it, but you didn’t need it. You became strong all on your own.”

Akutagawa’s eyes watered. “That isn’t true,” he whispered. “You have no idea how much I needed you…how much I still do. Why did you leave me?” 

Dazai fell silent at that, and Akutagawa couldn’t stop the angry tears from flowing down his cheeks. 

“Can’t you see?” he said. “This is why I can’t let you go. You’ll just leave me again. I can’t go through that again, Dazai. I can’t!”

He released Dazai’s shirt and straightened up, wiping the tears off of his cheeks. “That’s why, if the weretiger comes to rescue you, I’ll have to kill him.”

“Fuck you,” Dazai spat. 

Akutagawa smiled down at him. “You’re welcome to any time you want.”

Dazai’s face heated up in what Akutagawa assumed was both anger and embarrassment. He had never seen his superior’s face grow red like that. It made him feel giddy inside to know it was him who made Dazai’s face heat up. 

“Anyway, I made you breakfast,” Akutagawa said, quickly changing the subject before Dazai could get even more mad. “I’ll help you.” He gently tugged Dazai up into a sitting position.

“You’re not feeding me.”

Akutagawa tilted his head to the side. “Then how do you expect to eat? Your wrists are tied up,” he said, simply. “I would stop putting up a fight if I were you. The less you make me mad, the easier I’ll be on the weretiger when I’m ending his life.”

Dazai gave him the dirtiest glare ever, but he didn’t protest anything after that. Akutagawa fed him his breakfast before he ate his own. He put the dishes in the sink and returned to the man’s side.

“I don’t have an assignment from Mori-sensei today,” he said, reaching a hand out to gently stroke Dazai’s hair. “So we can spend time together.” 

Dazai remained silent, and Akutagawa sighed. “Fine, be mad at me,” he said. “But it would really benefit you if you just accepted all of this.” 

“Over my dead body,” Dazai said.

Akutagawa frowned. “Whatever,” he muttered. “Regardless, I’m spending time with you today whether you like it or not. Let’s watch a movie to start.” 

He snuggled close to Dazai and wrapped an arm around the man’s waist, turning the TV on. He leaned his head against the man’s shoulder as he scrolled through the movie options on Netflix, looking for a good one to put on. He could feel how stiff Dazai’s body was, and that made him frown. He lifted his head so he could look at the man.

“Hey, you could relax, you know,” he said.

“You tell me you’re going to kill my subordinate and you expect me to relax ?”

“Just forget about him already. You have me now.”

“And I don’t want you,” Dazai snapped.

Akutagawa felt his cheeks burn in shame. He stared back at the screen, feeling empty inside. Why did Dazai care so much about the weretiger? He had never cared the slightest about Akutagawa. 

Akutagawa had to force himself not to let his anger get the best of him again. “Forget it,” he muttered. “Right now, I just want to watch this movie with you.”

Dazai didn’t say anything else, and he didn’t protest when Akutagawa scooted closer and pressed his body against the man. Akutagawa just wanted to feel as much of Dazai as he possibly could. 

About halfway through the movie, he felt Dazai’s body slump against his. He glanced at him in alarm, but relaxed when he realized that Dazai had fallen asleep. He smiled fondly and guided the man’s head against his chest.

“Rest, Dazai,” he whispered. “Please rest.” 

Unfortunately, Akutagawa didn’t get to enjoy Dazai sleeping against him for very long, because soon the man had woken up and immediately inched away from him. Akutagawa sighed, but didn’t say anything. He tried to focus on the rest of the movie, but his chest was aching painfully. He was starting to wonder if he would ever win Dazai over. 

When the movie finally finished, Akutagawa got up from the bed. He hated to admit it, but he needed some advice, and there was only one person he could manage to get it from.

“I’ll be back,” he told Dazai.

Dazai didn’t respond or even look at him. Akutagawa spun around on his heel and stormed out of the room. He made his way out of the apartment, locking the door behind him just in case Dazai managed to get out of his restraints. Akutagawa felt anxious about leaving him alone, even if he wasn’t planning on taking long. What if Dazai was gone when Akutagawa came back? The man always had tricks up his sleeve, somehow managing to be one step ahead of everyone. 

Akutagawa pushed the thoughts to the side and made his way to the Port Mafia base. When he arrived, he started right towards the lounge where he knew a certain person was. 

“Chuuya, I need your help,” he burst out as soon as he stepped into the room. 

Chuuya glanced up at him, swirling a glass of brandy in his hand. “Lemme guess, the suicidal asshole isn’t cooperating.” 

Akutagawa sighed and plopped down on a stool next to Chuuya at the bar counter. “I don’t know what to do. He hardly even looks at me.”

Chuuya shrugged. “What did you expect? You’re keeping him hostage.”

Akutagawa shifted uncomfortably. “Do you think I should let him go?”

Chuuya scoffed. “Why would I tell you that? I live for his suffering.”

Akutagawa groaned. “But I don’t want him to suffer! I just want him to be mine!”

“Well, I hate to break it to you, but he’s too damn whipped for that weretiger.”

Akutagawa clenched his fists tightly. “I need to get rid of him,” he said. “That’s the only way Dazai will love me back— when he has no one else but me to lean on.”

Chuuya snorted. “Well, I won’t try to stop you,”

he said. “It’s not like I care for the kid. But I’m not sure your approach is going to work. Dazai is a stubborn asshole.” 

Akutagawa frowned. “Then I don’t know what to do.”

Chuuya sighed. “As much as I hate saying this, maybe threaten him less and spoil him more,” he said. “Although I love seeing him suffer, I don’t like seeing you suffer. If it’s really bugging you that much, be gentler.”

Akutagawa bit his lip, thinking about Chuuya’s words. Gentler? How could he be gentler? Maybe he should stop mentioning how he was planning on killing Atsushi. But even if he did kill the weretiger, it wasn’t like Dazai would know. Especially if Akutagawa managed to keep him locked up. 

He sighed, standing up. “Well, I’ll see what I can do. Thanks for the advice.”

Chuuya shrugged. “Yeah, whatever.”

Akutagawa turned around and headed out of the base, back towards his apartment. He wasn’t sure what to do when he faced Dazai again. How could he show the man how much he cared for him? 

When he arrived at his apartment, he hesitantly walked towards his room and poked his head in. Much to his relief, Dazai was still sitting there on his bed. 

“Hey,” Akutagawa said softly. He walked towards the bed and sat down on the edge of it. He expected silence to follow, but much to his surprise, Dazai spoke.

“If I promise to stay here with you, will you leave Atsushi alone?”

Akutagawa was taken back for a moment. Did Dazai seriously care about the stupid kid that much? Well, at least he was promising to stay with him forever. Akutagawa couldn’t argue with that. He cleared his throat and quickly tried to recompose himself. 

“Um, yes,” he said. “If you stay with me, I won’t hurt him.” 

Dazai leaned back against the headboard, staring at the ceiling. “Good.”

Akutagawa reached for him, hesitantly taking Dazai’s tied wrists and bringing the man’s hands to his lips so he could press little kisses against them. 

“I’m sorry,” he murmured against the flesh. “I don’t want you to hate me. I just want to be with you, Dazai.” 

“Well, I’m not going anywhere, clearly,” Dazai said blandly. 

Akutagawa swallowed thickly. “I know…but I still want you to enjoy being with me. Maybe even love me someday.”

Dazai didn’t respond.

Akutagawa left after that to make lunch. His chest hurt and his heart was heavy. Dazai would never love him. It was wishful thinking that someone like Dazai could fall for Akutagawa. Akutagawa was unloveable. Nothing would change that.

Akutagawa’s fears were starting to be proven legitimate. 

Two weeks had passed since Akutagawa had kidnapped Dazai, and the stubborn man still hadn’t shown an ounce of affection towards him. Akutagawa knew he had forever, but he wasn’t sure he could wait that long anymore. It hurt knowing that Dazai was right there yet still wouldn’t pay attention to him. It was almost easier to deal with the pain when Dazai had left him. 

“Are you going to ignore me forever?” Akutagawa asked one day. Unsurprisingly, Dazai didn’t respond. Akutagawa let out a frustrated sigh. “What do I have to do to get you to pay attention to me, dammit!” He stood up abruptly from the bed, fists clenched at his sides.

“Can you at least look at me?” he asked, exasperated. “Or is that too painful, too? I’m really that bad, aren’t I?” 

“You’re nothing compared to Atsushi.”

Akutagawa fell silent. His fists slowly unclenched and his shoulders slumped. Foolish. He had been so foolish. Dazai would never love him. No one would ever love Akutagawa. 

Silently, Akutagawa walked towards Dazai and started to untie his wrists. Dazai stared up at him with big, wide eyes.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“Letting you go,” Akutagawa muttered. 

“Huh?” Dazai looked immensely confused. “What happened to keeping me here forever?”

“I realized I was foolish to think you’d ever care for me,” Akutagawa mumbled. He finished untying the man and stepped back. “Go. I know you want to.” 

Dazai stood up from the bed, wobbling a bit, since he only used his legs when Akutagawa led him to the bathroom. He rubbed his wrists and eyed Akutagawa. 

“Well, bye,” was all he said. 

Then he was gone, and Akutagawa was alone again. 

Since Dazai had left him for the second time, Akutagawa decided that living was just not worth it. After all, he lived for Dazai. Dazai was the best thing that had ever happened to him in his miserable life, and now that thing was gone. What was the point?

He decided to waste his life away, drinking. Alcohol was incredible because it numbed his pain and made him feel giddy. He did have quite the tolerance, though, so in order to truly feel the effects, he had to consume quite a bit of alcohol. But that didn’t bother him one bit. Even if he died of alcohol poisoning, he didn’t care. Life was meaningless.

Mori stopped giving him jobs for the time being. He must have known Akutagawa was spiraling because Dazai left him. He didn’t care if the whole world knew. He just didn’t care about anything anymore.

He went to the same bar every night. It wasn’t far from his apartment, so he was able to stumble home at night. Some nights, he’d have so much alcohol that he’d black out and sleep in the nearby alleyway. He’d wake up the next morning with a wicked headache. But the pain was a nice distraction from the emotional pain.

Akutagawa knew that people probably saw him as being dramatic and pathetic. And so be it. They could view him however they wanted to. But no one was as important to him as Dazai was. 

The pattern went on for a few weeks, and for those few weeks, Akutagawa didn’t see Dazai once. Not even passing him in the streets. It was like Dazai was doing his very best to avoid him at all costs. Akutagawa knew deep down inside that he deserved it. After all, he drugged and kidnapped the man against his own will, and even threatened to kill someone he cared about. 

Akutagawa deserved the pain. So he continued to drink his life away, bit by bit, draining himself of everything.

And that was fine. He was fine. Well, at least he thought he was, until he saw Dazai again for the first time in weeks.

He had been walking down the streets, about to head to the nearest liquor store to buy some more alcohol. He always made sure he was stocked before nighttime. Nights were the hardest to get through, because his bed still smelled like Dazai. 

He was about to enter the store when he saw the love of his life casually strolling on the sidewalk. He was talking to someone on the phone enthusiastically, his bandaged arms flying everywhere as he spoke. Akutagawa instantly felt his heart strings tug painfully, and his chest suddenly felt heavy. 

And then suddenly, they made eye contact. Dazai stopped walking and talking, and just stared at him. Akutagawa felt like he couldn’t breathe. He spun around on his heels and ran as fast as he could, as far away from Dazai as possible. He didn’t look back.

He found an alleyway to collapse in. His heart was racing from both running and seeing Dazai. He placed his hands on his chest, struggling to catch his breath. He fell into a coughing fit, which died down after a few minutes. He leaned his head against the brick wall, trying to calm down. His face and body felt hot and flushed. 

Dazai had seen him. Fuck .

Akutagawa made sure to avoid that street. He found another liquor store to go to and stock up on alcohol. He just couldn’t risk seeing Dazai again. It would probably annoy Dazai anyway.

After seeing him, Akutagawa’s drinking habits got worse. It got to the point where he was unable to even walk back home after drinking at the bar. He knew he had no right to be acting like a victim, since he caused the whole mess in the first place, but he couldn’t help but feel a bit sorry for himself. What did Atsushi have that he didn’t? Why couldn’t he be more like the annoying weretiger? Would Dazai like him if he was?

Those were the thoughts swirling through his head as he slumped against a building in an alleyway. It was not far from the bar he’d drank at. He was used to sleeping there and waking up confused, since he was too unsteady on his legs to walk back to his apartment. I deserve this. I deserve this pain, he reminded himself.

All of a sudden, he heard faint footsteps heading towards him. He squinted up to see who it was, his vision blurry, but he couldn’t make out the face. He was too weak to activate his rashoumon. He hiccuped, his body feeling hot all over. Whoever was there had an advantage. 

Akutagawa hated feeling so weak. 

He felt hands on his sides, pulling him up to his feet. He wobbled and almost toppled over, but the person caught him. He slumped against the mysterious figure, unable to stop them from leading him to where they wanted to take him. 

After walking for what felt like hours but was probably only a few minutes, the figure stopped moving. Akutagawa felt a hand in his pocket and he jolted in surprise. He heard the sound of a key going into a lock, and then his vision finally cleared, revealing his apartment. How did the person know where he lived? He turned to look at the figure and almost fainted when he saw who it was.

Dazai.

“D-Dazai…” he stuttered, letting out another hiccup. He had seriously drank way too much.

“Shh,” Dazai shushed him. The man helped Akutagawa towards his bedroom, laying him down on the bed.

“W-Why…are…you…” Akutagawa couldn’t finish, because suddenly, he felt extremely exhausted.

“Sleep,” Dazai said softly. “That’s an order.”

Akutagawa’s cheeks burned at the words. He hadn’t gotten an order from the man since he had left the Port Mafia. He wanted to do as he was told, but he was also afraid that when he woke up, Dazai would be gone. So much for avoiding him, he thought to himself, bitterly. 

“S-Stay…” he said, before he could stop himself. He regretted saying it as soon as the words left his mouth. Why was he asking Dazai to stay? After everything he’d done to the man? 

“I’m not going anywhere,” Dazai said softly. 

Akutagawa’s eyes widened. Seriously? Dazai was staying? Or was he trying to get Akutagawa’s hopes up so he could crush them the next morning when Akutagawa woke up to an empty bed? 

“Go to sleep,” Dazai ordered again.

That time, Akutagawa couldn’t fight the drowsiness even if he wanted to. He let his eyes flutter closed, hoping and praying that Dazai would still be there when morning came.

The next morning, Akutagawa woke up to an empty bed. He sighed, sitting up and running a hand through his hair. He had the most splitting, pounding headache that he’d ever gotten. He knew he couldn’t stay in bed all day though, so he forced himself to push the covers off and swing his legs over the side of the bed. 

His eyes found a glass of water and two Tylenol pills on the nightstand, and his brows furrowed in confusion. Did he do that? There was no way that Dazai did. Regardless of who did it, Akutagawa’s headache was too painful to ignore, so he took the pills anyway.

He shuffled into the kitchen, yawning tiredly, only to stop dead in his tracks when he saw a certain someone attempting to cook.

“ Dazai?! ” 

Dazai spun around, a look of surprise on his face. “Oh, you’re up.”

“What are you doing here?” Akutagawa blurted out.

Dazai tilted his head to the side. “I told you I wasn’t going anywhere. Why do you look surprised?”

Akutagawa’s throat felt dry. “B-But…I-I thought…you hated me.”

Dazai rolled his eyes, turning back around to focus on the pancakes he was attempting to make. “I told you a while ago that I don’t hate you.”

“But I kidnapped you!”

Dazai snorted. “You’re not the first person to do that.”

Akutagawa just stared at him, unsure of what to say. Dazai had come back into his life… willingly ? It all seemed too unreal.

“Are you going to just stand there or are you going to sit down?” Dazai asked. “Breakfast will be ready soon.”

Akutagawa sat down at the table, still trying to process everything. How did he get so lucky? Dazai should’ve been avoiding him.

“Shit, I forgot the eggs,” Dazai cursed as he fumbled around, grabbing an egg to crack over the pancake mix. 

Akutagawa quickly rushed forward to stop him. “I’ll do it.” Dazai had never been a skilled cook and probably would’ve gotten egg shells in the pancakes. 

Dazai watched with wide eyes as Akutagawa cracked both eggs into the mix with ease. Since he lived alone, he had to do all the cooking himself, so he was pretty good at it. 

“You’d make the perfect wife,” Dazai joked, and Akutagawa felt his face heat up. 

He distracted himself with mixing the pancake mix together before starting to spoon it onto the pan Dazai had heated up.

“Hey! I was supposed to make breakfast!” Dazai whined.

“I appreciate the sentiment, but I can do it,” Akutagawa said. 

Dazai let out a huff but didn’t argue. Akutagawa kept his eyes on the mix, watching for bubbles as it cooked. He jumped when he suddenly felt arms snake around his waist and a chin plop on his shoulder. He swallowed thickly.

“Did you hit your head or something?” he mumbled.

“Hm?”

“You’re…acting differently,” Akutagawa said quietly. “You never give me attention.”

“Well, maybe I’m trying to change that.”

“But…why?” Akutagawa couldn’t help but ask. “Don’t get me wrong, I…enjoy it a lot, but I’m confused.” 

“I acknowledge the fact that I haven’t given you enough attention,” Dazai said. “And that was unfair of me, so I’m making it up to you.”

“But what about the detective agency? And Atsushi?” 

“What about them?” Dazai asked. “They know about our past. They’re not going to stop me from making it up to you.”

Akutagawa felt his face heat up. “O-Oh.”

“Let’s make up for lost time, yeah?”

“O-Okay.”

Akutagawa was never one to get flustered, but Dazai always had a way of making him break down. He focused his attention back on the pancakes, distracting himself from the feeling of Dazai’s chest pressed against his back and the man’s arms circled around his waist. 

When the pancakes were finally done, they ate at the table in a comfortable silence. Akutagawa couldn’t help but steal glances at Dazai every now and then, his heart racing any time they made eye contact. He knew that Dazai was aware of his crush, and probably had been for awhile, because Akutagawa had a hard time hiding it. Any time Dazai was around him, he would just break.

“So…are you…” Akutagawa started to say, unsure if he should finish his question. He wanted to know if Dazai was going to be staying with him, but he was too scared to ask.

“Yes?” Dazai asked him.

Akutagawa swallowed thickly. “Are you…going to stay here with me?” 

Dazai smiled. “If you want me to.”

Akutagawa knew his face was probably as red as a tomato. He quickly looked away, extremely embarrassed. “I’d…like that.”

Dazai clapped his hands together. “Then it’s settled! I’ll stay here for a while.” 

Akutagawa couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Dazai was going to stay with him! How did his life take such a turn? He had been so sure he was going to waste away for the rest of his life.

“On one condition,” Dazai suddenly said.

Akutagawa’s shoulders slumped. “What?”

“Stop drinking,” Dazai said. “You’re going to make yourself sick.”

Akutagawa relaxed. He could stop doing that. After all, he only started drinking in the first place because Dazai had left him again. Now that the man was back in his life, Akutagawa felt his will to live returning.

“Deal,” he said quietly.

Dazai smiled again. “Good.” 

The rest of the day went by quickly. Akutagawa spent most of it binge watching a show with Dazai, but at one point he had to leave for a quick assignment from Mori. He returned an hour later, relieved to find Dazai asleep on the couch. He really was staying. 

Akutagawa ended up carrying the man to the bed, tucking him in and heading to the bathroom to get ready. He only had one bedroom in his apartment, so he hoped Dazai didn’t mind sleeping in the same bed. 

Dazai ended up waking up by the time Akutagawa stepped out of the bathroom. 

“I have some spare toiletries in the bathroom if you want to get ready,” Akutagawa said.

Dazai nodded tiredly and made his way into the bathroom. Akutagawa waited anxiously for him on the bed. Dazai hadn’t commented about sharing a bed. Did that mean he was cool with it? Should Akutagawa offer to sleep on the couch?

When Dazai emerged from the bathroom twenty minutes later, Akutagawa opened his mouth to speak but immediately shut it when Dazai threw himself down on the bed. 

“Goodnight,” the man mumbled into the pillow.

Akutagawa swallowed thickly. “Goodnight.”

He pulled the covers over them and laid back in bed, staring up at the ceiling as his heart raced wildly in his chest. It felt good to share a bed with him again.

He closed his eyes, ready to go to sleep, when he felt an arm swing over his body. He jolted in surprise, his eyes flying open in shock. Dazai is holding me. Dazai is holding me! 

Akutagawa tried to act chill about it, closing his eyes again and trying to focus on sleeping. But it was hard when the love of his life was willingly holding him in his sleep. Stay calm, he told himself.

He wasn’t sure how he managed to do it, but eventually, he drifted into a deep sleep. For the first time in a while, he was able to sleep peacefully.

The next morning, Akutagawa woke up to a sleeping Dazai beside him. He instantly felt a surge of happiness go through him. That day, he planned on making it up to Dazai for all the things he had done to the man previously. He just wasn’t sure what he should do in particular. 

“Dazai,” he said softly, gently shaking the man. “I want to take you out today.”

Dazai’s eyes slowly fluttered open. “Hmm, like on a date?” he mumbled sleepily. 

Akutagawa felt his face heat up. “U-Uh…yeah…you could call it that. If you’re cool with that, of course.” 

Dazai smiled, yawning and stretching. “I’m okay with that.”

Akutagawa felt his heart do a somersault. “C-Cool.”

“So, where are you taking me?” Dazai asked as he sat up. 

That was a good question. Akutagawa had been dreaming of taking Dazai on a date for so long, and now that he finally could, he had no clue where to take the man. He bit his lip in contemplation, thinking over all the date ideas he remembered looking up when Dazai was still in the Port Mafia. He vaguely remembered finding a romantic picnic idea, but he wasn’t sure if Dazai would be on board with that. Well, there was only one way to find out.

“How about a picnic?” he offered. “I can make lunch and pack it to bring to a park or something.” 

Dazai beamed at him. “As long as I get to eat more of your cooking, I’m good.” 

Akutagawa blushed. “L-Let me start making it, then.” He got out of bed and hurried into the kitchen, positive that his face was as red as a tomato. He seriously needed to control his emotions around the man.

He started making a picnic-style lunch, which consisted of sandwiches, vegetable kabobs, and fruit salad. He packed everything up in a basket, throwing a few soda bottles in to drink. He then started making breakfast, whipping up eggs, toast, and bacon. Dazai came stumbling into the kitchen a few moments later, rubbing the remaining sleepiness from his eyes.

“Mmm, smells good in here,” Dazai hummed as he sat down at the kitchen table. 

Akutagawa placed a plate of eggs, bacon, and toast in front of him. “Enjoy.”

“You really are wife material!” 

“S-Stop,” Akutagawa muttered as he sat down next to him with his own plate. 

Dazai tilted his head to the side. “Stop what?”

“Embarrassing me,” Akutagawa mumbled.

Dazai smiled, poking Akutagawa’s cheek. “But I like seeing you flustered.”

Akutagawa felt his face grow hot and he quickly looked away, causing Dazai to laugh. He forgot how much of a nuisance the man could be.

“So…what park are we going to for the picnic?” Dazai asked after a few minutes of comfortable silence. 

“It’s a surprise.”

Dazai raised a brow. “Wow, you really have a lot going for you. Perfect cook…great date ideas. One would think you did your research.” 

Akutagawa glared at him. “Sh-Shut up.”

Dazai beamed. “Ha! I’m right!” 

Akutagawa looked away. “I’ve been…wanting for this for a while,” he said softly

“I know,” Dazai said. “You’ve liked me for a long time, huh?”

“Yeah? And what about it?” Akutagawa said, sounding slightly defensive. 

Dazai just shrugged. “Nothing. It’s cute.”

Akutagawa covered his red face. “I told you to stop embarrassing me.” 

“And you know I never listen to anyone but myself.”

Akutagawa couldn’t help but let out a small laugh. It was the first time he’d laughed in a long time. Dazai seemed slightly taken back by it, but he laughed as well. Akutagawa just felt so… happy . He had never felt like that before.

When they were finished eating breakfast, they got ready for the day, and then they were off in Akutagawa’s car. Dazai was eagerly looking out the window, asking him every five seconds where they were headed. He seemed more like a child than a twenty-two-year-old man.

“I’m not telling you,” Akutagawa said for the fifth time. “It’s a surprise.”

“Come on, Ryuu!” 

Akutagawa froze at the nickname, his heartbeat increasing. Dazai had never called him by his first name before, nonetheless by a nickname. Dazai didn’t even seem phased that he had let the nickname slip. Akutagawa swallowed thickly and tried to focus on the road, his palms suddenly sweaty. He liked the nickname. He liked it a lot. He wanted to hear Dazai call him that over and over again.

“W-We’re almost there,” Akutagawa managed to say after minutes of silence. 

Dazai smiled. “I don’t think I’ve been to this area before.” 

There was water not far from where they were, which was where Akutagawa was headed. There was a gorgeous meadow that overlooked the water, and since it was always abandoned, Akutagawa figured it would be the perfect spot to have a picnic. 

When they finally arrived at the spot Akutagawa wanted them to picnic at, he parked the car on the side of the abandoned, gravelly road. 

“Ooo, we’re here?” Dazai asked as Akutagawa started to get out of the car.

“Yeah, come on,” he said, grabbing the picnic basket from the backseat. “The meadow is right over there.” He pointed to the meadow that overlooked the water, the city visible in the distance. The view was breathtaking, and Akutagawa only knew that because he went there often to recollect his thoughts. 

The meadow was on a cliff’s edge, so Akutagawa set up the picnic safely away from the edge. He laid the picnic blanket out first, before sitting on it and unpacking the basket. Dazai plopped down next to him, their knees touching. Akutagawa swallowed nervously. His first date with Dazai was about to begin.

“Wow, it’s so beautiful up here,” Dazai said as he gazed at the view with wide eyes. 

Akutagawa smiled a small, fond smile at him. “Yeah, that’s why I chose it.”

“Do you come here often?” Dazai asked. “I didn’t even know this place existed.”

“I come here when I want to relax and think things over,” Akutagawa said. 

“I have to admit, I’m a little surprised,” Dazai said. “You seem like such a tough, hardcore guy.”

“I can still appreciate nature,” Akutagawa huffed.

Dazai laughed lightly. “I know! It’s just surprising.”

They ate in comfortable silence, just enjoying each other’s company and the beautiful view. The weather was gorgeous that day, the sun shining brightly and a nice breeze blowing. Birds chirped and the waves below sloshed gently. Akutagawa felt so at peace that he almost forgot to feel nervous on the date. 

When they finished eating, Dazai threw himself back on the blanket, gazing up at the sky. Akutagawa packed the basket up before joining him, staring up at the fluffy clouds in the bright blue sky. 

“Thanks for this,” Dazai suddenly said.

Akutagawa turned to stare at him. “For what?”

“For taking me here,” Dazai said softly. “This is nice. Dates are nice.”

Akutagawa stared at him for a moment before quickly looking away, his cheeks red. He forgot that it was probably Dazai’s first date, too. Dazai wasn’t exactly the type of man that attracted women left and right with his desire to kill himself. 

“I bet a jump into the water from this height would be fatal!” 

“ Shut up ,” Akutagawa said while nudging him playfully.

Dazai laughed. “Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.”

It fell silent between them again, as they gazed at the sky. Akutagawa turned to stare at Dazai again, reveling in the man’s beauty. Dazai truly was a breathtaking sight. His milky skin and soft, fluffy hair…those gorgeous eyes that somehow knew everything. Akutagawa could get lost in them. His eyes fell down to Dazai’s delicate hand, his cute bandages wrapped up his arm. Most people found Dazai to be weird and even creepy, but Akutagawa never thought that. He found Dazai to be endearing. 

Before he could stop himself, he shakily reached a hand out to place on top of Dazai’s. Dazai’s head turned immediately, and he stared at Akutagawa with a look of slight shock on his face. But he didn’t move his hand away, so Akutagawa cautiously laced their fingers together. Dazai stared back up at the sky, but Akutagawa felt a small squeeze of his hand and suddenly everything felt okay. 

He could hear his heartbeat pounding a mile a minute, the sound loud in his ears. He swallowed nervously, knowing he should look away from Dazai’s gorgeous face, but finding that he was unable to do so.

“The view is so gorgeous here,” Dazai said with a small sigh.

“Yeah, it’s really pretty,” Akutagawa said softly, still staring at Dazai. 

Dazai turned to stare at him again, his cheeks tinting pink when he saw that Akutagawa was still looking at him. It was the first time Akutagawa had ever seen the man blush, and it was because of him . It truly was the best day of his life. 

Akutagawa’s eyes trailed down to Dazai’s lips, and suddenly his throat felt very dry. He wanted to kiss those lips so badly, but he also didn’t want to push his luck too much and make Dazai leave him again. 

But much to his surprise, Dazai was staring at his lips too. The next thing that happened seemed so unreal to Akutagawa. Dazai was crawling on top of him, hands on either side of Akutagawa’s face. They were so close that Akutagawa could smell Dazai’s musky cologne—the smell of amber and vanilla filling his senses. 

“Can I…” Dazai started, trailing off. He looked unsure, and Akutagawa didn’t like that one bit.

“Please,” he whispered. “Please do whatever you want to me.”

Dazai didn’t waste any time crashing their lips together. He kissed Akutagawa with a hunger that Akutagawa never knew he had. Akutagawa felt hot all over, Dazai’s body pressing against him as they kissed passionately. Dazai slipped his tongue into Akutagawa’s mouth, and the wet heat felt heavenly. He let his eyes flutter closed, allowing Dazai to completely fill up his senses. All he could feel, taste, and smell was the man on top of him. 

Akutagawa suddenly let out a strangled moan into the kiss when Dazai pressed his knee into Akutagawa’s crotch. Akutagawa squirmed, well aware of the fact that he was getting hard. He didn’t want to scare the man away, but he also wanted him so badly. 

Thankfully, Dazai must have gotten the hint, because he pulled back and gazed down at him with a mischievous smile on his face. “Wanna do it right here?” 

Akutagawa felt his cheeks burn in embarrassment. “Please, Dazai. I want you so badly.” 

Dazai gently caressed his cheek. “I know,” he murmured. “Don’t worry.” 

Akutagawa felt his breath stutter. He was about to make love with the love of his life. How did his life take such a turn? Just a little while ago he was drinking his life away. So how had things changed so quickly?

“Have you ever done this before?” Dazai suddenly asked him as he slipped his coat off and started to take his shirt off. 

Akutagawa stared in awe once Dazai had stripped himself of his shirt. He was still wrapped in bandages, but Akutagawa didn’t mind. He liked them. They were unique to Dazai, and Akutagawa wanted nothing more than to kiss those bandages. 

“Hello?”

Akutagawa snapped out of his thoughts at Dazai’s voice. “S-Sorry,” he stuttered. “I’ve, uh, never done this before.”

Dazai smiled. “I didn’t think you had.”

Akutagawa scowled at him. “Hey, that’s hurtful.”

Dazai shrugged. “Why? You’ve always been obsessed with me, remember? I figured you were waiting for me to take your virginity.”

Akutagawa’s face turned as red as a tomato. It was true. He had dreamed of Dazai being his first time for so long. “Shut up.”

Dazai beamed. “I knew I was right!” 

Akutagawa looked away. “Whatever.”

Dazai smiled again, leaning down to nuzzle his face in Akutagawa’s neck. Akutagawa felt his body freeze up at first, but he relaxed when Dazai’s lips pressed against his sweet spot. How did he know Akutagawa’s favorite spot? 

Dazai gently sucked a love bite there before leaning back, gazing down at him. “It’s okay, your obsession with me is cute.” 

Akutagawa blushed at the words. “B-But…I let it get out of hand…”

“But then you fixed it,” Dazai said simply. “I forgive you. Now get undressed.” 

Akutagawa scrambled to undress as Dazai finished undressing as well. Soon, they were both left in their briefs. Akutagawa felt a bit awkward, since it was the first time his old teacher and executive was seeing him almost completely naked. He still enjoyed it very much, though.

Dazai leaned down to trail kisses along Akutagawa’s chest, neck, and throat, scattering love bites all over. Akutagawa was thrilled at that, wanting to remember and have marks of proof of what they did. But he also had ideas of his own, fantasies that he never thought he’d get a chance to live out. And man, did he want them to come true.

Before he could stop himself, he flipped the man over, pinning him down. 

Dazai raised an eyebrow in interest. “You’re getting really good at catching me by surprise. I’m starting to wonder if I should get worried.”

“I’m just doing what you taught me,” Akutagawa said, leaning down to press kisses against Dazai’s bandages. 

Dazai inhaled sharply. “W-What are you doing?” 

Oh, how Akutagawa loved making him flustered. “Worshiping you,” he said with a small smile. 

Dazai’s cheeks turned pink, leaving Akutagawa in awe. “N-No one’s ever…touched them before. People think it’s weird.”

“Well I don’t,” Akutagawa said softly. “I think they’re cute, just like you.“

Dazai stared at him with wide eyes, and Akutagawa got the sudden urge to kiss him again, so he did. He pressed his lips against Dazai’s delicious ones and soaked up the feeling of Dazai kissing him back. He pulled back so they could catch their breath, moving to straddle the man. He pinned Dazai’s wrists above the man’s head.

“What are you planning on doing?” Dazai asked. 

“You’ll just have to wait and see,” Akutagawa replied. 

He started to slowly grind his clothed cock against Dazai’s, starting slow so he could gradually work them both up. Dazai let out a groan, his eyes fluttering closed. Akutagawa loved that sound, so he started to roll his hips and grind down onto Dazai’s cock at a faster pace. He relished in the man’s pants and noises of pleasure, his own slipping out occasionally. He wanted to make Dazai feel good. He had always wanted that.

He could feel a wet spot forming on his own briefs, so he stopped the movements before he could come. He was so sensitive and his cock was leaking a lot already, but he didn’t want it to end so soon. They hadn’t even gotten to the best part yet. 

Dazai gazed up at him through half-lidded eyes. “You’re a little devil.”

Akutagawa smiled. “I haven’t even done enough yet,” he said. “Wait until you see what’s next.”

Dazai’s eyes widened when Akutagawa scooted down, tugging the man’s briefs down and watching with fascination as his cock sprang out. He wrapped his slender fingers around the base, holding it still and leaning down. Dazai gasped when Akutagawa wrapped his lips around the tip, slowly sinking down and taking as much of the cock in his mouth as he could. Tears stung his eyes and the tip brushed the back of his throat, but he did his best not to gag.

“Fuck…” Dazai breathed, throwing his head back in pleasure.

Akutagawa hummed in satisfaction, the vibrations causing Dazai to moan. Akutagawa started to suck at a steady pace, swirling his tongue around the tip and pressing it against the slit. He licked up the precum before popping off to lick a long stripe up the underside. He kitten-licked the tip before taking it all in his mouth again, sinking down like he’d done before. Dazai squirmed.

“Fuck…I’m gonna…” Dazai struggled to say. 

Akutagawa loved that he had the man at his mercy. He popped off before Dazai could come, smiling devilishly down at him.

“I’m not done,” he said as he slipped his own briefs off and finished tugging Dazai’s off. He sighed as his hard cock was freed from his tight briefs. “Want to warm me up?”

Dazai wordlessly nodded his head. 

“I have lube in my coat pocket,” Akutagawa said, reaching for his discarded coat to pull it out.

“You came prepared, were you expecting this?” Dazai asked.

“I was hoping,” Akutagawa replied as he handed the bottle to Dazai.

Dazai coated one finger in the substance, bringing it to Akutagawa’s entrance. “This is going to hurt.” He pushed the finger in and Akutagawa let out a hiss of pain.

“I know, I’m not a baby,” he said through gritted teeth.

“You’re a baby to me,” Dazai teased.

“I had you at my mercy just a few moments ago, I wouldn’t get too cocky.”

“Fuck you.” Dazai quickly inserted a second finger in before Akutagawa could even register the first. He groaned and dug his nails into the dirt. 

Dazai started at a slow pace, thrusting his fingers in and out of Akutagawa’s tight hole. He added a third finger eventually, and soon his fingers were slipping in with ease. He pushed them deeper until he found Akutagawa’s prostate. He curled his fingers around it, causing Akutagawa to moan embarrassingly loud. He felt precum dripping from his cock and knew he wouldn’t last much longer.

“H-Hurry…” he said. 

Dazai quickly pulled his fingers out and coated his cock in lube. But before he could switch their positions to thrust into him, Akutagawa lined himself up and slammed himself down on Dazai’s cock. He moaned when Dazai’s tip brushed his prostate.

“F-Fuck,” Dazai muttered. “You really do know how to take me by surprise.”

Akutagawa wiped the sweat from his brow and began to slowly bounce on the man’s cock, letting out small, breathy moans. Dazai’s cock was so thick and long, it felt incredible shoved up his ass. He lifted himself up before slamming down again. 

“You just couldn’t wait, could you?” Dazai said between grunts. 

Akutagawa shook his head. “I need you too much.”

He began to quicken his pace, bouncing on Dazai’s cock and moaning as his prostate was hit perfectly each time. Dazai reached a hand up to wrap around Akutagawa’s cock, stroking it in time with his thrusts. Akutagawa began to pant, sweat trickling down his body as he felt himself reaching his climax.

“G-Gonna…!” Akutagawa started, but cut himself off with a loud moan as he came in Dazai’s hand. Dazai continued to stroke him through his high, and Akutagawa continued to bounce on Dazai’s cock through his orgasm. 

“Want you to come in my mouth,” Akutagawa said as he pulled off of Dazai before the man could come. 

Dazai’s eyes widened. “Wha—“ 

He couldn’t finish because Akutagawa was suddenly engulfing his cock with his mouth again, hollowing out his cheeks and pressing his tongue against the slit. 

“Ryuunosuke!” Dazai moaned as he came into Akutagawa’s mouth.

Akutagawa’s heart did a somersault when Dazai called him by his first name again. He was filled with happiness as he swallowed Dazai’s cum, popping off and gazing down at the man.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Dazai said breathlessly. 

“I love you,” Akutagawa said, leaning down to press a loving kiss to the man’s cheek. “I love you so much.” 

Dazai pressed a hand to the back of Akutagawa’s head, guiding him down to lay on top of him in a hug. Akutagawa didn’t expect the man to reply with the same thing. Not yet, at least.

But he was having a lot more hope that one day Dazai would love him too.

A few weeks later, Dazai ended up moving into Akutagawa’s apartment. Although the man didn’t return to the Port Mafia, Akutagawa was thankful that he was back in his life. 

Unfortunately, Dazai was still close with Atsushi, but it didn’t matter as much to Akutagawa since they had begun to date. Dazai was his forever. 

It all still seemed unreal to him, but that was because he always convinced himself that nothing good could ever happen in his life. He wanted to change that mindset. Dazai had come back into his life and he was there to stay. Akutagawa’s sins were behind them. He deserved to be happy.

And he was happy. He smiled and laughed, things he had never done before. Every day was full of surprises with Dazai in his life. Even though the man was a pain in the ass sometimes, and a total brat, Akutagawa wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. Dazai was his brat. 

He loved Dazai, and no one would ever take him away from Akutagawa again.