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A year and a half passed after the war, Levi is living freely and contentedly outside the walls, retiring from Survey Corps as he let the 104th batch take over and let them handle political affairs regarding both Marley and Paradis. Due to his injuries from the war, Levi is no longer able to walk like he used to and despite his best efforts to live independently, he always ends up accepting assistance from Gabi and Falco, the two young warriors he fought alongside with during the war.
Levi refused at first. He dislikes to be a burden. For the love of god, he is the strongest soldier— at least, he once was.
Ever since Levi decided to move out, Gabi and Falco were both persistent in helping him. Starting from the day he settled down, then visiting the captain frequently to the point where Levi is wondering if those two don’t have a life on their own because they are always there for him always calling him ‘Mr. Levi’ everywhere. Aside from Gabi and Falco, Onyankopon assisted Levi particularly in attending physical therapy sessions once a month. Occasionally, the two would also enjoy a cup of tea and engage in conversation. Not to mention, both of them along with Onyankopon were also helping Levi out in his own tea shop, which became a well-known spot in Marley for two things: for its exquisite tea and the owner being the former captain of the Survey Corps.
The unusual treatment he receives from them became normal to him. As stated by Connie when they visited their used-to-be captain, Levi won’t be lonely in his retirement years because there are two kids willingly spend their time helping him out. Thus, Levi decided to let the kids do whatever they want since he can see how contented and happy they were in assisting him.
For the first time, Levi needs assistance. When the two heard him for the first time asking for their assistance, both of them were over the moon, especially Gabi. She was entirely thrilled and teased Levi by recalling few while Falco kept on calming Gabi down before both Gabi and Levi start bickering again. Falco asks him, “What can we help you, Mr. Levi?” Levi simply replied to buy lots of flowers and escort him somewhere for today’s occasion.
Today’s occasion?
Erwin, the 13th commander of Survey Corps, and the other scouts death anniversaries and the day they retook Wall Maria back.
Levi is fine going alone but somehow— he wanted to bring Falco and Gabi with him.
“Are we going to Paradis, Mr. Levi?” Falco asked, pushing the wheelchair, glancing on the ships on the port.
“Yeah,” Levi answered monotonously while reading the newspaper he was holding while letting the young man push his wheelchair. “Also, don’t call me that. Just call me ‘Levi’. I already told you a lot of times.”
“Okay, Mr. Levi.”
“Brat.”
“What about these flowers?” Gabi asked, interrupting the conversation between him and Falco before they start bickering while holding a bunch of flowers around her arms. “What are we going to do about them?”
Levi glanced at the flowers, then at the two kids. He replied. “Offer them to the fallen soldiers.”
Both went silent, realizing that they will be probably going to the cemetery at Paradis. Not just a normal cemetery but the cemetery of all dead soldiers fighting for the freedom of Paradis people. Levi glanced and noticed the silence of the two with sad look on their faces. Levi sighed because he knew all too well how these kids still blame themselves for what happened.
Gabi tried to distract herself by staring the variety of flowers she was holding and somehow, Edelweiss flowers caught her attention. The same small and yellow with silvery-white leaves flowers in Levi’s house in Marley. While pointing at the flowers, Gabi called Levi’s attention. “You also have this type of flowers at home, is it your favourite, Mr. Levi?”
“Brat, I told you not to call me that. Just call me ‘Levi’ already.” Levi changed the topic, clearly annoyed. In response, Gabi sarcastically told him “You told Falco, not me.” then earning another “Brat.” by the former.
Both kids chuckled by Levi’s response. Gabi shook her head as she turned to Falco, “By the way, this type of flowers is not usually for the dead and different from the flowers we bought earlier. Falco, do you know its meaning?”
“Pure and noble? Deep love and devotion? I guess it’s somewhere along those words. I remembered researching about those flowers because they caught my interesting when I saw them first time in Mr. Levi’s nightstand.” Falco answered feeling unsure of his answer while finally reaching the port in front of them. “Oh, it’s the ocean. It’s bluer and clearer than usual.”
“It’s been a while since the last time I went to Paradis. It’s the same for you right, Mr. Levi?” Gabi asked, watching him staring the ocean for the entire time when they reached the port.
“Yeah,” Levi answered nonchalantly, watching the deep blue ocean with longing eyes.
I’m coming home, Erwin.
Upon reaching the country, they immediately went to the cemetery with a few hours ride. During the said ride, Levi and his companions observed the new Paradis and compared to few years before, they are doing better. Their economy is improving, a lot of new technologies introduced, and children smiling and laughing.
Paradis is now a free country. No titans, no walls. Despite the inner conflicts between two nations, Paradis is developing for the better.
“I-It’s nice seeing the people here living so freely now.” Gabi glanced at the view, remembering not only what happened a year and a half ago but years when Paradis was still surrounded by walls and titans. “They deserve it after what we had done.”
“Thanks to the fallen soldiers dedicating their hearts.” Levi mumbled. “Let’s go, we’re almost there.”
When they finally arrived at the entrance, an enormous logo of the Survey Corps are facing them. Seeing the logo of the Levi was waiting for Falco to push the wheelchair yet somehow, both of his companions stopped their tracks, looking nervous with full of guilt plastered on their faces. In fact, Levi knew all too well the reason behind this.
“Falco, Gabi, what are you both doing? You both look pale.”
“It’s nothing— It’s just—”
“This is how many soldiers died because of us for years.” Falco looked down as Gabi nodded in agreement. “We have no rights to set foot on this place, Mr. Levi.”
Levi looked at his two companions. He knew it. Both were hesitating to step inside and couldn’t directly face tombstones in front of them because they still blame. and sighed “What happened already happened. Another era started. Let’s go.”
Thus, they went and placed a single flower on beside of each tombstones. Lucky for them, they bought a lot of flowers.
“Farlan, Isabel… you would love to see the sea.” Levi said unconsciously placing two flowers beside their tombs, remembering their times together in the underground till their deaths, how he cherished and loved them both in his own unique way. He also remembered blaming himself for their deaths because of his damn pride and what’s more, Erwin was the one who took their bodies and gave them a proper burial. “And also these brats with me, you would love them.”
“Who are they, Mr. Levi?” Falco unconsciously asked upon hearing both of his and Gabi’s names. “My bad, you don’t—”
“They’re my first friends— siblings rather. We spent quite of a time together. We even joined the scouts at the same time.” Levi answered, staring at their tombs before signing Falco to push the wheelchair. “Let’s go.”
And then, they went to the huge memorial wall. A memorial wall where only the dead scouts with missing bodies, either they were eaten or torn limb to limb, listed and it didn’t matter if they were yeagerists or not. First thing that came in both of the kids’ mind is the 14th commander of the scouts. They immediately tried searching for their name and as expected, it was written there.
“Hange’s name is here.” Gabi said, seeing Hange’s name written on the wall. “Does that means that their body—”
“It was burnt until there’s nothing left. They tried stopping the colossal titans by themselves.” Levi answered monotonously, remembering how he told them to dedicate their heart before they set off and get themselves killed. He sighed, remembering how they were the only veterans left after they claimed Wall Maria back. He turned to Falco and showed a small grin. “They would love seeing the flying titan, you know.”
Falco looked down, feeling embarrassed all of a sudden.
After the memorial wall, it was kind of a sign that they already visited everyone— however, Gabi was acting restless as if she was searching for someone. Falco seemed to be confused and worried at the same time and glaced to Levi for help. Levi noticed this. He knew the reason why Gabi was acting like that all of a sudden.
“Gabi,”
“Yes, Mr. Levi?”
“You’re probably searching for her. You go ahead.” Levi said, pointing at someone’s tomb.
By that someone, it was no other than Sasha Braus’s tomb. Not even a second after Gabi read the name and realized it was really her grave, she bursted out into tears and knelt in front of Sasha’s grave, pleading and asking for her forgiveness.
“I’m so sorry, Miss Sasha!” Gabi cried, bowing down, asking for forgiveness. “I know that I can’t bring you back but I can promise you that I’ll help my friend, Kaya, the girl you saved you before and adored you!”
“Oi, Gabi, calm down.” Falco rushed to her, kneeling beside her as he was comforting her, leaving Levi on his wheelchair. “It’s okay, her family already forgave you, remember? I think she also did. That’s why, you don’t have to worry anymore.”
“No, she won’t and that’s okay!” Gabi cried even harder. “After all, it’s my fault—”
“It’s no one’s fault. We’re at war.” Before Falco could say anything, Levi took over and said it plain and clear.
“Mr. Levi…”
“She died… for humanity like any scouts here did.” Levi said, “All of these soldiers died for humanity. We already accepted the consequences when we decided to join the survey corps. This is part of the consequences. Remember that.”
“Calm down, Gabi.” Falco pleaded, hugging her gently.
“If you’d like to come back and visit her again,” Levi started, “Bring potatoes. It’ll make her happy.”
“Potatoes? That’s all?”
“Yeah,” Levi nodded, “I’m not Sasha but, I just know that she already forgave you before everyone else did. She has a heart of gold. She would like you.”
What Levi said gave comfort to Gabi. She simple nodded and stood up, freshening herself up before she moves forward with Falco and Levi. After Sasha’s grave, Falco and Gabi thought they’ll be going back now— not until Gabi realized that Levi hasn’t offered those Edelweiss flowers yet.
“Is there someone else left, Mr. Levi?” Gabi asked, looking around and believed that they all visited each and every tomb. “You still haven’t offered those flowers yet.”
Levi stared down at the flowers he was holding at. He smiled softly. “Only one man. Just go straight.”
Only one man? Both Gabi and Falco turned to each other as they were confused but still followed Levi as Falco was the one pushing the wheelchair. “Stop right here,” Levi simply said after seeing the only man’s grave before standing up and simply fell down afterwards. “Mr. Levi!” Falco and Gabi shouted in unison and went over him.
“You should’ve told us that you’re planning to stand, we would assist you.” Falco said, supporting Levi’s arm while Gabi supported the other, giving the former captain a disappointed look.
“You brats are overreacting.” Levi sighed, rolling his eyes. “I was planning to sit on the ground and place these flowers myself.”
“But still!” Gabi insisted, “We should’ve assist you to sit carefully then!”
These brats are seriously— Levi sighed, “Fine, just let go of me. I’m on the ground now, by the way.” Levi said in annoyance. “I’ll just offer these flowers to him and we’ll be going afterwards, alright?”
“Um, take your time, Mr. Levi.” Falco said, smiling, looking at the tomb and read the owner’s name.
Erwin Smith
I guess Mr. Levi took me seriously. Falco thought, realizing that the three of them were still in front of the only one man’s grave.
“Falco, shouldn’t we get going? It’s getting dark.” Gabi whispered, enough only for Falco to hear. “The sun will—”
“The sun isn’t going to set for another few hours.” Levi simply interrupted and continued facing the tomb in front of him.
“It wont?” Falco was confused, staring at the sky, seeing the sun still remained at its place. “Looks like you’re right, Mr. Levi.”
“It’s amazing. How did you know?” Gabi asked. “The midnight sun occurs.” Levi simply said, “Just like him.”
“Who?”
“Him.”
Gabi didn’t ask any further, knowing that Levi was referring to the owner of the gravestone in front of him. “A sun that never sets…” Levi started, “Just like him, even after his death, he is still right there. I just know it.”
“Mr. Levi?”
“Hm?”
“Who is Erwin Smith?”
Levi hasn’t heard that name in forever. “Who is Erwin Smith, Mr. Levi?” Falco asked as well, referring to the man who owned the tombstone Levi is sitting in front of.
“Him, huh? Haven’t heard his name in forever.” Levi said unconsciously. “It felt good hearing it. Sounds nostalgic.”
Falco and Gabi looked at each other for a second before they decided to sit on the ground beside Levi. Falco smiled. “It seems like you both were good friends.”
“Yeah, good friends.” Gabi teased.
“Yeah, yeah, whatever you say.” Levi shrugged. “He’s a piece of shit, by the way.”
“Huh?”
“A blondie.”
“What blondie—”
“An annoying blondie. That piece of shit.”
“Are you insulting him—”
“That’s what I thought of him before.”
Gabi chuckled, staring at Levi who was showing an unusual expression for the first time. “You weren’t in good terms at first?”
“I tried to kill him. That’s my goal.” Levi said, “He and his squad caught us— me, Farlan, and Isabel. Instead of taking us to the prison, he offered us to join the Survey Corps.”
“I-If it weren’t for him, you won’t be here?”
“Kind of? It seemed like that.” Levi said, “We were living underground— no sun and sky to see not until he also helped us get our citizenship from the above. If it wasn’t for him, I’d probably still in the underground, stealing.”
“So, it’s really thanks to him?”
“He showed me what’s beyond those walls before. What a man he is.”
“So, that made your mind change about him.” Gabi said, getting interested in Levi’s story even if he’s just talking about another man.
“Not long after my first expedition outside the walls— Farlan and Isabel were both eatan by a titan. I blamed myself because of my damned pride.”
“W-We’re sorry—”
“But he told me that it was the titans to blame. They’re our real enemies.” Levi said, looking at both of them as if he’s saying stop blaming themselves of what happened before, “In the end, I chose to follow him with no regrets. I’ll follow him, even if he’ll lead me to hell. I’ll never regret.”
And yet he went to some place that I couldn’t follow him.
“A choice with no regrets, huh?”
“Exactly, then years passed and he is the only man I trust.” Levi said, “He trusted and respected me as much as I did. That time, he was the commander and I was his captain.”
“I thought it was Hange?”
“Before Hange.” Levi corrected. “He was the one who always said to dedicate our hearts. He even appointed Hange to be the next commander after him.”
“He must have been a great commander, Mr. Levi.”
“The greatest.”
No words could express how gentle Levi was when he talks about the 13th commander and the only one man, Erwin Smith. Both kids were smart enough to know how Levi cared for him. Gabi also imagined the former captain like a duckling following its leader and she found it quite endearing. Falco, on the other hand, he found the commander intimidating and interesting, imagining how he would look like in person.
They sat down in silence. Levi was still not about to leave any time soon and some questions ran into Gabi’s head and broke the silence.
“H-How did he die, Mr. Levi?” Gabi was quite hesitant at first but still asked regardless that made Falco’s eyes wider and panicked. “Oi, Gabi, I think that’s too much—”
“It was my decision.”
Falco and Gabi had surprised look on their faces. Gabi unconsciously muttered, “Y-Your decision…”
“Wall Maria was taken from us and Eren, our hope that time, was there to sealed the wall, which he successfully did. The scouts prepared a new expedition to Shiganshina. However, I didn’t want him to participate at that time because he only had one arm.” Levi said, recalling the time they retook the wall. “How I wish I should’ve broken his legs, that blondie.”
“Mr. Levi, please calm down.” Falco tapped his hand on Levi’s shoulder in attempt to calm him down.
“I just didn’t went with him because he let me rest because of my ankle injury, I obeyed him, and then he returns with one arm missing. That bastard.”
“W-Were you worried?”
“He’s pitiful. That pitiful bastard who don’t want to rest. Now, look at him with a missing arm.” Levi let out a ‘tch’.
“Haha, Mr. Levi, it’s alright to admit that you are worried.” Gabi laughed nervously.
“I should’ve really broken his legs that time we decided to retake Wall Maria. He would have lived, I guess.” Levi sighed. “But that bastard told me that it was more important than his legs, humanity’s victory, and— no, nothing.”
More important than… you? Perhaps? Falco thought, watching one of the rarest expression Levi made just now. The expression of sorrowfulness and despair. Levi continued his story. “After that, we went to retake Wall Maria— However, that other bastard, that monke—” Falco and Gabi flinched, remembering that Levi wanted to kill Zeke so bad.
“I don’t want to mention his name, it boils me.” Levi sighed, “That bastard killed more than half of the scouts who went to retake the wall.” Both stayed quiet, Levi has the rights to talk about Zeke like that. Levi noticed both and he assured them, “Don’t be sorry.”
“B-But because of h-him, your friend died. It’s okay, you have the right to be angry with us.” Gabi said, frowning.
“He died because I told him so,”
“Erwin Smith?”
“I told him to give up his dreams and die for us.” for me.
After Levi said those words, it felt like his voice cracked at the moment, which made the two worried. “H-He… trusted me and told me about his real intentions before and he expressed it at that time how guilty he was by leading scouts to their deaths…” Levi said with a broken voice. “So, I told him to give up on his dreams and die and made a promise to him that I’ll take the beast titan no matter what. He never asked me to but I made that decision on my own. Even if I had one thing that could save him, I chose to let him rest.”
“What thing, Mr. Levi?”
“The serum. He entrusted the serum to me. The only thing that could save him once I injected it to him.” Levi said with a heavy voice, “But I chose to let him rest. At first, I want to bring him back but at that moment, I saw a child inside of him. He looked… He looked peaceful. I want to bring him back but I don’t want him to be the ruthless commander as the others saw him. He deserved to rest.”
Falco stared at the Erwin’s tombstone with an awe. This commander entrusted the serum to Mr. Levi is like he is entrusting his entire life on him.
“You did inject that serum to someone instead of him?” Gabi asked.
“I injected it on Armin. But that doesn’t mean I chose that brat instead of him. I just decided what’s the best for that bastard.”
“But isn’t he the better option?”
“Like I mentioned earlier, I wanted to bring him back but I think he deserves to rest after what we’ve been through, I guess that was the best time to let him rest. He already felt guilt, pain and depressed. He has it all. If he give up his dreams and die, he’ll be at peace.”
“You chose his happiness over the humanity?”
“Who knows? I just know that he deserves to rest. Nothing more, nothing less. After all, no one was able to replace him. No one can and no one will.“
“Have you regret it? Even once? For not keeping him alive? Especially what happened after?”
“No, I have no regrets about that.” Levi stated, “Not even during the war we had before. I’m glad he wasn’t there. It’s a pity he didn’t get to see his theory became true and the sea, which had the same color of his eyes. He would have been stunned.”
“That’s why you kept staring at the sea the entire—”
“Gabi, shhh!” Falco shushed Gabi’s mouth by covering it. “That’s getting more personal.”
“The sea indeed remind me of him. Never thought that I already saw the sea in his eyes already.” Levi smiled softly, ignoring the two kids with him. “I heard it from the others, some people have ocean eyes. He has ocean eyes.”
Gabi and Falco stared at him.
Falco and Gabi were surprised. It was the first time they saw Levi, smiling like this. They don’t understand but they knew that this Erwin Smith is very important to him. They already knew he wasn’t just a good old friend of the former captain.
“T-Then, what is Mr. Erwin to you, Mr. Levi?” Gabi asked as Levi raised an eyebrow with that question.
“Even if I tell you, you won’t understand.” That was the moment, Falco and Gabi both realized that— Erwin Smith, for Levi, is someone he deeply had connection that they also couldn’t explain well.
“I’m glad that I was able to take your bones and gave you a proper burial.” Levi said softly, talking to the grave, arranging the flowers he offered to him properly.
“Deep love and devotion…” Falco unconsciously uttered, staring at the Edelweiss flowers that Levi offered. “Y-You feel deep love and devotion to him then?”
“What are you talking about? It’s not my fault that he’s the first one giving me this type of flower.”
“H-He gives you flowers?”
“And tea,” Levi added, “I prefer the tea leaves though, especially the ones from the military police he blackmailed a long time ago.”
“He also blackmails?” Falco asked, surprised.
“Those from military police are mostly shits so they deserve it and it’s for our expedition anyway.” Levi explained, “Also, he is the one who never complained of me being a clean freak and often helped me to clean quicker although he makes it even worse…”
Falco and Gabi were just listening to Levi the whole time. They never expected that Levi can get to be this chatty. But somehow, Falco came up with a conclusion— Levi is, in fact, in love with this Erwin Smith. Why he thinks so? Because it’s like him with Gabi.
“…I would learn everything about the outside world that he wanted to see and bring them back to him. If only he was alive—”
“Did you get to see him one last time, Mr. Levi? When the war was over last year?”
“I saw all of my comrades including my squad, Hange, and…” Levi stopped momentarily, “E-Erwin.” Levi continued, “I saw them briefly and when they faded away, E-Erwin stayed a bit longer, saying something that I didn’t heard.”
“You didn’t get to hear his words for you?”
“No, I didn’t.” Lies.
Silent lies in their conversation as the three of them stared at the tombstone in front of them. They stayed for another hour. Even it’s already nighttime, the sun hasn’t set yet at all. “We’ll be going now, Erwin.” Falco took note that Levi didn’t stutter his name.
“W-We’ll be going now, Mr. Erwin. It’s nice meeting you.” Gabi bowed at the tombstone. “I’m Gabi and that’s Falco. We’ll be helping Levi till he’s back to you again!” Levi was suddenly speechless while Falco didn’t know if he felt embarrassed or proud of Gabi saying that in front of the former captain.
“Wh-What are you saying to him? Let’s go.” Levi said with a hint of red on his cheeks, “I think there’s an inn near the area, let’s just stay for a night before going back.”
“Okay, let’s go.“
“Just show me the way, Mr. Levi.”
“I wished I could meet Mr. Erwin in person.”
“Same.”
Me as well, you brats.
Gabi and Falco faced ahead while Falco was still the one pushing his wheelchair, Levi looked back at Erwin’s grave as he was drifting away from him again every second.
Erwin, I lied…
Erwin, I lied that I haven’t heard your words back there…
You told me to live my life to the fullest with no regrets…
You bastard, I already did… with you… when you’re still alive…
Erwin, you’ll be waiting right?
You should be the one to pick me up when the time comes…
Right now… I’ll try living… with those two I am with right now…
I’ll try to be happy, Erwin…
I’ll live for myself, for you, Hange, and the others…
I’ll share your legacy to others and how you guys dedicate your hearts…
And for the last time, Levi glanced back and formed a soft smile on his face.
“Erwin, thank you.”