Work Text:
It’s been a long day, Sion thinks as he exits the van. As he puts weight on his legs, the energy drains away from his body and his feet drag with every step he takes. It makes him considerably slower as he walks the length from the car to the building to the point that Kyungmun, Sehyun, and Eunho pass him entirely.
He takes a moment to look up at the sky and unfortunately, it’s empty as if a black hole sucked away all the stars. It kind of makes Sion sad.
“C’mon Sion-ah,” Hyungseok says lightly, patting his shoulder as he catches up with him. “Don't wanna sleep out here do you?”
“Yeah,” he chuckles, and when he looks at the older, they share a grin (or as much of a grin as they can through their exhaustion; Sion might have just grimaced for all he knew).
They nearly bust into the dorm after Eunho takes a little too long searching for his key, fiddling it into the lock, and opening the door. Shoes are left haphazardly and unorderly on the floor and Sion thinks someone is certainly going to trip.
One of their leader’s voices sort of fades, stutters, and stops when the group enters the dorm as if he was caught up in the clatter and talk of the other members. But then there’s a suspicious thump that sounds a little more bone-y than a backpack being dropped; again, it’s hidden amongst socked feet and loud voices so Sion glances over his shoulder to check what’s behind him because it’d be quite funny if someone tripped on the pile of shoes in the doorway but-
Eunsang is on the floor and just when he believes his premonition of someone tripping was right, Sion analyzes his position. And it’s just not right. With his legs crumpled under him, his upper body curves into itself. His head hangs low, hand outstretched on the ground in front of him. To keep himself upright…? Sion’s heartbeat picks up a notch as Eunsang lifts his chin enough to see his glazed eyes. Eunsang’s mouth moves but nothing comes out. It’s much like he’s talking to himself.
(A little bit of guilt seeps into his system because he didn’t actually want anyone to take a fall over shoes or anything.)
But it’s all wrong, it’s all so wrong, why is it so wrong?!
He can’t stop his mind from racing through barrages of thoughts, most of which are filling up with fear.
“Hyung-” Whatever Sion is about to say after that gets caught in his throat. He’s not sure if he’s calling for his roommate or the others for help but it raises the alarm for everyone else regardless.
(Lee Eunsang—their leader, soft-spoken, wise, and always composed—was at the entrance of the dorm in a heap, his limbs having failed to keep him standing, eyes fading in and out of focus. He hadn’t even removed his shoes yet.)
After that everything is underwater but Sion can vaguely hear several things as he stands, nearly petrified in place. The more prominent ones include his members' voices, filled with a new panic and worry they haven’t felt yet before; he hears someone calling for Eunho, hears someone else sniffling, someone—Steve—rushing to Eunsang’s side and asking if he’s ok. Sion’s heartbeat had been loud in his ears by now, but the sound of Eunsang’s breaths becoming more ragged by the second makes his pulse fade into the background.
Eunho’s knees hit the floor loudly as he drops to Eunsang’s side and Sion can’t help but cringe at the sound. With Steve’s arms already placed to steady the younger’s shaking form, Eunho holds onto his shoulder. “Eunsang? Eunsang, what’s wrong?”
Sion watches their oldest cranes his neck to try and catch a glimpse of Eunsang’s eyes. When he fails to respond, Eunho asks, more softly this time, “Eunsangie, can you look at me, please?”
7 seconds tick by before Eunsang moves at all, and it’s a very slow nod. And then a whisper spills from him, every other word paired with a breath in between.
“Sorry… I’m awake I'm… just couldn’t get… room… sorry…” The second apology hitches in the middle and Sion barely catches how Eunsang’s eyes are watering under the shadow of his pink bangs.
“It’s ok, it’s ok, don’t worry,” Eunho soothes him.
“It’s not…” Eunsang interjects, “Just... couldn’t sleep… and… haven’t eaten... so... tired-” He trails off unexpectedly and suddenly he's tipping forward.
Bodies jolt around him as Eunho and Steve manage to catch his shoulders before his forehead hits the floor; Sion can’t find it in himself to move while everyone else is shifting around him. He watches as their oldest pulls Eunsang into his side, letting the younger drop his head onto his shoulder.
“Can someone get a hold of our manager, please? I know he’s nearby,” Eunho asks the room. Someone to Sion’s right nods. He thinks it’s Kyungmun, but he can’t take his eyes away from the trio on the ground. Eunsang looks so small and so… frail tucked into Eunho’s grasp.
“Yeah, I got it.” It is Kyungmun; the sound of his phone dialing fades as he disappears around a corner.
Eunsang mumbles something into Eunho’s sweatshirt, causing everyone to turn back to him.
“Sorry, what did you say? I couldn’t hear you, Eunsang,” Eunho taps Eunsang’s shoulder.
“No,” Eunsang’s words, though louder and perhaps more desperate, start slurring. “Jus’ need… sleep… promise it's… fine…”
“Eunsang, it's not fine, but we can get you into bed soon. I just need to talk to our manager before we do that, alright?”
A whimper rises in Eunsang’s throat, a sound Sion doesn't think he’s ever heard before (and he never wants to hear it again). It sounds pained, it sounds exhausted, and worst of all it sounds like Eunsang. And it sends a chill shiver up Sion’s spine.
“Soon, ok? Just wait a few minutes please,” An arm snakes around Eunsang’s waist to support his weight. “It’s ok, Sangie, it’ll be alright.”
Hyunseung’s figure crosses into Sion’s view. “Would some food or water help?”
Eunho nods and a granola bar paired with a bottle from Hyunseung’s bag is passed over. He turns back to Eunsang while opening the packaging, mouth moving to ask something along the lines of can you eat this for me?
Eunsang's head bobs in a random direction with neither a yes nor a no readable in the motion and his head starts rolling off of its perch on Eunho’s shoulder. The arm around the younger’s waist tightens to re-adjust their position and Steve reaches out to support him as well.
“Hey, stay awake for me, ok? Can you do that, Eunsangie?”
“No food… please…”
“Eunsang, I know you don’t want to, but we need you to try,” Steve says sharply, the water bottle at the ready. "I promise you will feel better after eating."
“Sion-ah.”
He flinches out of his statue state when there’s a firm hand on his shoulder, but it’s just Hyunseung. “Come to our room. Give them space.” It’s not just a question or even an offering, it’s a request.
“Yeah. Ok.” And it comes out so abrupt it's as if he forgot how to talk.
He’s like a zombie, his stunned body moving only because Hyunseung has his hand in his and is guiding him away. Despite the new landscape of the hallway, the image of the two leaders and Steve huddled on the floor is still burned into his retinas.
Maybe he should have noticed something was wrong. They live together, sleep in the same room; he should have known if Eunsang wasn’t sleeping or seemed sick or something…
Well, you would have been asleep most of the time…
“It’s not your fault, Sion,” Hyunseung consoles him and it’s like he can hear the gears whirring in his brain. “He’ll be fine.” Sion finds the easiest thing to do is to just nod. His heart is still racing, jitters lingering in his chest and fingertips. Hyunseung leads him to a bed and Sion plops down next to Sehyun.
“Are you ok?” Sehyun asks. Sion turns in time to catch his slightly worried expression and it’s very much directed at Sion himself. Really, Sion knows he's fine but on the other hand, he's not so sure he is. Everything is off-kilter.
“I don’t know,” He shrugs. “I don’t know.”
They can hear their manager in the dorm and eventually, the sound of uncoordinated footsteps and the assuring voices of Eunho, Steve, and Kyungmun (why is Kyungmun with them- oh he did call our manager, I guess? ) are heard moving down the hall. Sion can guess they're dragging Eunsang to bed.
Time starts warping when Wonho places himself on Sion’s other side, and then Wonho is dozing off, still sitting upright with his eyes closed and swaying slightly next to him. Placed in the bed opposite is Hyunseung, head ducked and fingers twiddling. Almost all the inhabitants of the five-person room—Hyunseung, Hyungseok, Sehyun, and Wonho—were present in their spaces or in another, mind Eunho who was probably still with Eunsang.
And then there was him. Sion senses he’s displaced. He wishes he had stayed, he wishes he could have moved but he couldn’t do anything but stare.
“Eunho texted.” Steve pokes his head into the room and almost everyone nearly springs to action with his words while Wonho jolts awake. “Uh, he said Eunsang’s resting now. And our manager says he’ll be ok and to contact him in the morning. Just wanted to let you guys know.”
“Thanks, hyung,” Hyunseung replies dryly. The room exhales, deflating into their former exhaustion at the announcement. Further “thanks” are exchanged quietly.
“Oh and Sion, I think you can go into your room now.” Steve shoots him an encouraging smile and Sion nods for the umpteenth time.
Sion almost wants to keep sitting here sandwiched with Wonho and Sehyun—in the time they spent waiting for anything about Eunsang, their position had become… cuddly, at least more cuddly than normal and he finds it quite comforting.
But what outweighs the comfort and warmth is his need to know that Eunsang is ok; he doesn’t even need to talk to him he just needs to see him. (Additionally, he can tell his fellow members probably want to get ready for bed now, so he should probably vacate their room soon anyway.)
So he finally stands up from Sehyun’s bed, leaving the owner to look up at him. “Heading out?”
“Yeah.”
“Let us know if you need anything, Sion-ah,” Hyunseung says. Sion turns his back to leave the room, replying with another short, “I will.”
“You promise?” Sehyun pipes up again, eyes knowing. Sion almost sighs. He’s already tired of being worried over when there was clearly someone to be more concerned about.
“Yeah. I promise.”
When Sion cautiously enters his room with his heart suddenly racing, Eunsang is tucked into his bed, fast asleep. Or at least that’s as much as he can see in the dark. A wave of relief washes over him as he finds the confidence to stroll over to his bed, ready to dive into the blankets for the night.
Something shifts out of the corner of his eye, a dark figure he hadn’t seen initially when he tiptoed in; he nearly jumps out of his skin at the movement, physically stumbling off balance and into his furniture. The corner of his dresser digs into his side and he yelps in pain.
“Ah, sorry are you ok?!” a voice gasps. Hands grab his arm and he jerks away again in fear. “It’s just me, Sion-ah, it’s just me!”
“Eunho-hyung?!” Sion nearly shrieks but claps his hand over his mouth before he can make any more noise. Even so, Eunho shushes him quickly while checking over his shoulder in the direction of Eunsang’s bed. “Sorry!” he mouths.
Eunho shakes his head, in the dark. “No, I’m sorry for scaring you.”
“It’s fine, it’s fine…” He waves the older off of him. Once he thinks his breathing is somewhat back to normal, he turns to ask. “Uh, what are you still doing here? Eunsang-hyung’s asleep right?”
“Well, yeah but I just wanted to be close to keep an eye on him,” Eunho confesses. “Our manager said he’d be fine for now. But honestly, he could get a fever with the way he’s been treating himself and I don’t-”
“He’s sick?” Sion interrupts. It’s almost one of his nightmares realized. “How sick is he- wait, how long has he been sick for? 'Cause I just feel bad because we’re roommates and I just think I feel like I missed-”
“Sion, slow down,” Eunho hisses, likely due to Sion raising his tone louder and louder with each word. He continues with a sigh as Sion's rambling has rolled to a pause.
“Well... from what he told us, he hasn’t been sleeping well for a while now. Maybe not even at all. And with how our schedules have been this week, I'm kinda surprised he didn't pass out earlier. And I mean, it's- it's not good that it did happen in the first place, but at least it was in the dorm, right? Right? Anyways... we uh- we talked to our manager and we think… oh and I’m not sure if he’s eaten anything... substantial for the past few days either. So we gave him a little food and water... and he seemed a little more awake after that so hopefully getting a full night's sleep if not more will do the trick...”
Eunho trails off, his words being laid out with unsurety, which was very unlike his outgoing leader-like personality.
Sion's stomach churns uncomfortably at the very thought of the possibilities. Sure, he couldn't stomach anything the day before their debut, all nine of them running on adrenaline at 2 in the morning for pre-recordings. Could Eunsang have stopped eating then? But, if that were the case, wouldn't he have seen? Wouldn't they have noticed if he wasn't eating? Wouldn't they have- Shouldn't they have-
Eunho seems to be on the verge of asking something—a favor probably—and the way Eunho keeps sighing like he's about to start talking just makes Sion want to ask him what he wants straight up. At least he doesn't need to because finally Eunho is blurting out and asking him if he can stay in the room with Eunsang to make sure he’s ok. He can’t even protest (not that he would maybe under different circumstances); he has a feeling Eunho believes that he failed Eunsang just as much as he does.
So the eldest drags the desk chair next to Eunsang’s bedside as Sion changes his clothes before finally getting into his bed. He takes another look at Eunsang to make sure he’s still really there and still really breathing before closing his eyes for the night.
When Sion wakes up, Eunsang is still asleep and Eunho is slumped on the edge of the bed, perched on the chair. Sunlight streams through the shades of the window and into Eunsang’s bed and subsequently Eunho’s form; a ray of light shines right where their hands are linked together-
They’re holding hands.
Well, maybe Eunho is just grabbing Eunsang’s fingers—no, they’re definitely holding hands right now. (Platonic or not, Sion finds it cute.)
Sion takes a minute to watch Eunsang’s chest rise and fall at a steady rhythm, his face much more relaxed than Sion has remembered seeing it for the past few days. Though, a face that looks much thinner than he remembers it being a month ago. He wonders how much the older’s gone through in the time that he’s known him.
“Sion-ah, I know you’re staring at me.”
It’s barely above a whisper and yet at the sound, he finds himself freezing. Again. Because of course, he does. And of course, Eunsang would know. Eunsang knows a lot. Or maybe he’s good at sensing people looking at him along with knowing a lot.
“Sorry, hyung…” His voice is a lot smaller than he wants it to be, but Sion can’t bring himself to be any louder.
“What are you apologizing for?” Eunsang’s eyes flutter open as he turns his head to the side. “I was just making an observation.”
“…with closed eyes?” Sion asks and he finds himself breaking out of his frozen form, sitting up in his bed.
“Yes, with closed eyes.” Eunsang chuckles weakly. The exhaustion that lined his features melts away a little with the slight smile that paints his face.
Eunsang’s gentle laugh shakes the bed enough to awaken and send Eunho straight upright in the chair, body at the ready. The hand holding Eunsang’s is released to his side. “Hyung-” Sion says surprised.
“You’re awake?” Eunho asks, completely ignoring Sion. Eunsang nods slightly. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m ok I guess… but did you really sleep in that chair the whole night?”
“Maybe,” Eunho says as he pulls his phone out of his pocket to type something. When he looks back up, Eunsang is giggling at him. “What? I was worried about you, alright?”
“Ok, ok, ok,” Eunsang mumbles, backing down. “But… thank you, hyung. I really appreciate it.”
“Of course. It was no problem, but you know we're going to talk about this later, alright?” Before returning to his device, Eunho pats Eunsang on the head lightly. It’s almost more of a rub than a pat and Eunsang visually leans into the touch. “Well, it's almost lunchtime so we better get some food in you before you do anything else.” And with that, Eunho is standing and out the door, probably heading to the kitchen. Eunsang’s hand reaches up to where Eunho’s was before, ghosting over his hair.
“Oh-” Eunho’s voice shifts from down the hallway to the doorway as he pokes his head into the room. He points at Eunsang, saying lightly, “You. Don’t move.” Eunsang almost snorts before promising the older that he won’t.
Nothing else is spoken into the air after that, despite all the questions racing through Sion’s head. That is until Eunsang speaks and apparently, it’s been a trend for everyone to hear his thoughts because the older is saying “I’m ok, Sion-ah,” before he can even comprehend it.
When Sion’s vision focuses, Eunsang no longer has his hand on his head; in fact, the older is sitting up, leaning against the wall behind him. How’d he get there-
“Sion-ah, did you hear me?”
“Are you though?” Sion blurts out without really thinking.
“I'm better now than I have been in the past few days, but still a little worse for wear,” Eunsang admits. “Do you… do you not believe me?”
“No, no,” Sion reassures, determined to get the right idea across. But whatever he’s feeling is hard to explain. “It’s not that, it’s just… oh I don’t know.” He huffs, feeling defeated by words.
“Take your time.”
“Hyung, I feel like…” Sion hesitates, trying to read Eunsang’s face for any sign that he should back away. “I feel like I should have known or… I don’t know. Like how I didn’t notice you were sick or not eating? And it kinda pisses me off that I was so blind to it that I couldn’t tell.”
Eunsang nods in understanding before telling him, “Sion, it’s ok, it’s not your job to know about my health-”
“But, hyung,” Sion interrupts him, wanting to get his whole thought out. “I- I could have helped you or something. Before and last night too, but all I did was… stand there. And I couldn’t do anything and it felt like I was stuck staring at you and it was terrible. I didn’t even try to comfort you or anything…”
“Sion,” Eunsang says as firmly as he can. “All of this is me and me only. Not you, not Eunho, not anyone else. And it’s not your… your burden to take care of me because of something... so stupid, heck, I’m supposed to be taking care of you.” The way Eunsang has to think to find the word burden throws Sion for an unexpected loop and it frustrates him.
“But what kind of hyungs and dongsaengs would that make us?”
The leader opens and closes his lips, anything he wanted to say having been thrown out the window. So Sion continues.
“You know… we gotta step up… take care of each other. All of us. Because we're not just casual friends or something. We’re a family. And we’re going to get through everything together.”
Eunsang still doesn’t say much of anything and Sion worries he might have just overspoken.
“So let us care of you like how you do for us, ok?” He adds that on a whim, but it sort of rounds out his point in a way he wasn’t expecting. And then all that’s left to do is see what the older does in response.
“Ok,” Eunsang nods slowly, repeating himself under his breath. His intent gaze drifts from Sion to his hands in his lap. “God… I’m sorry, I’m so sorry”
“Please-” Sion stops him mid-apology. “Please don’t apologize when you don’t need to.”
“...fine. I won't.” The older says honestly.
“Thanks.”
“Sion-ah, I’m ok,” Eunsang reassures him again after a while; it’s after that weird feeling slips away from them as understanding replaces it. “I promise you that.”
“Would… would you pinky promise?” Sion tentatively asks. It sounds much more stupid coming out of his mouth than in his head- “And also not to do… that again?”
“You aren’t in a place to bargain-” Eunsang protests lightly while reaching out an extended pinky. “But I will. I will pinky promise on that.”
Sion slides out of his bed to hook their pinkies before pushing their thumbs together as well.
Before he knows it, Eunsang is using whatever strength he has to pull Sion into his arms, and the maknae surrenders into his hold. He wraps his arms around the older, reciprocating the hug, perhaps squeezing a little too tight like he might lose his hyung to the air.
“Not going anywhere, Sion.”
“Oh, I know.” He mumbles into Eunsang’s shirt where his face is pressed. “I’m just savoring the moment before you’re attacked by everyone else.”
The laugh that leaves Eunsang makes Sion feel that everything will be fine.
(“Hyung, are you crying?”
“Hmm? What are you talking about-”
“Those are literally tears in your eyes.”
“No, they’re not, I just yawned.”
“No way you just yawned- Why are you crying? Did that pinky promise make you that emotional?”
“And what if it did?”
“I’m gonna hold this to you forever.”
“Go ahead, Sion, go ahead.”)