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Philophobia

Chapter 4

Summary:

After the reader and Obi-Wan Kenobi reconcile, they agree to put the past behind them and pledge to refrain from further debauchery in the future. With her first goal complete, the reader tries to focus her energy on helping Anakin Skywalker yet she is plagued by her new strife.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

You jolted up in your bed, ripping your hand from between your legs that were coated in a sheen on perspiration, wiping your fingers hastily on your bedsheets with a grimace. You’d have to change those soon.

“I’m coming,” you yelled, pulling on your pants as you hopped toward the door clumsily, hand hitting the button to open it as you finally righted yourself.

Obi-Wan stood on the other side causing your already heated skin to flush openly. “Obi-Wan,” you breathed, suddenly on edge more so than you had been before. “What are you doing here?”

His eyebrow raised as he considered you, seemingly thoroughly confused. “You didn’t show up to training and I- oh, dear, you look awful.” He said as he pushed inside of your quarters, your heart hammering in your throat as your rattled brain tried to comprehend what he had told you.

“T-training?” you stammered as he kept his hands on you, pushing you to be seated on the cushion on the floor.

“You must be sick, padawan, you never forget your training.” He fetched you a glass of water and held it to your lips, forcing you to take a drink. “What is it? A headache? Stomachache? I do have just the tea for stomachaches if you’ll allow me to fetch some-“

“Obi-Wan,” you interrupted, feeling tremendously guilty as you looked up at him from beneath your eyelashes. He turned to you with a look of concern that made you swallow thickly before committing to telling the truth. Well, part of it. “I forgot about training this evening.”

His eyes widened almost imperceptibly. “Forgot?” he asked, attempting to confirm that he heard you correctly. When he saw you nod he immediately shifted from mother loth wolf to scornful master. “(Y/n), you’ve never missed training before. What happened?”

You couldn’t tell your master that you had spent hours last night trying to work yourself to orgasm at the thought of him or that you, unsuccessful in your previous attempts, tried to do the same this morning then the subsequent afternoon and completely blew off your evening training.

“I had a bout of insomnia and overslept after my nap,” you lied as you stared down at your water, trying to steel your thoughts and remember your story.

“Is insomnia normal for you?” Obi-Wan asked, arms crossed, unconvinced.

“Yes,” you replied, trying to keep your answers quick and concise.

“How come this has never impeded your ability to awaken promptly before?”

You chewed your lip, maintaining your fixed gaze on the motionless water before you. “Must’ve just caught up with me.”

“(Y/n),” Obi-Wan said, fingers finding your chin, tilting your head gently to look at him. “Don’t lie to me. It’s all too obvious. You’re a worse liar than Anakin.”

“Please, master, it was just a mistake,” you pleaded, anxiety bubbling in your chest.

“Why are you so panicked if it was a simple mistake, little one?” You swore you saw the edge of his mouth twitch in amusement as he beheld your panicked state.

His fingers came to cradle your chin more tenderly as his thumb pulled your lip from where it sat ensnared between your teeth. Instead of withdrawing, he swept the pad of the digit across the supple flesh, drawing a soft shiver from your body.

“You wouldn’t be this distraught from a simple mistake.” He began to lower himself, settling on his knees in front of you. His other hand settled over your shoulder and cascaded sensuously down your arm, his grip settling on your bicep in a way that caused his thumb to rest against your breast. “Just admit you’re lying to me, padawan, and tell me the truth. Be a good girl.”

Those words sent a shockwave through your body and left you dumb and doe eyed like a prey animal oblivious to the predator gradually encroaching on you. “I was tending to personal needs, master.”

“Personal needs,” he repeated, almost absently, as his thumb began to swipe over your breast through the fabric of your sleeping attire, leading your pulse to accelerate beyond what you thought possible. “How long did you try to tend to these personal needs?” he asked, the hand at your chin flowing like lava down to your throat, a thrill shuddering it’s way down your spine at the sensation.

You swallowed back a gasp as his thumb brushed your nipple through the thin layers of fabric. “Hours,” you whimpered quietly in reply. “Hours last night and hours intermittently this morning and afternoon.”

“And no results?” He murmured, tone betraying his mild surprise. You simply shook your head and sighed disappointedly when his hands left you as he stood. He began walking toward your small bedroom, causing you to eye him curiously. “Join me.” He commanded as he began walking in.

You scampered upright and followed after him into your quarters, legs quaking timorously as you wondered what to expect. His hands were on you almost immediately when you passed through the threshold, fingers deftly working your sleeping garment free and leaving you in your breast band. His very being encompassed you, arms wrapping around your body and fingers gripping gently into your skin as he crowded you closer to the mattress. You felt the scruff of his beard on your neck for less than a second before you felt him gently take some of your flesh between his teeth, tongue laving over the spot immediately after, drawing a wanton noise from your throat. Your knees hit the edge of the mattress, Obi-Wan lowering you onto the soft surface as he began to nip and suck greedily at the side of your neck. You mewled beneath him and arched your back into his hands which had wandered upward to palm your breasts beneath the band. His fingers found your nipples through the fabric, alternating between sweeping over them and gently rolling them between his fingers. Pulling back momentarily, you felt the hard callouses of his hands as they dove beneath your breast band and pulled it somewhat roughly over your head, nipples hardening further after being exposed to the cold air. His fingers wasted no time as they sank greedily into the flesh on your chest, head chasing their path as he took a nipple between his lips and sucked tenderly.

“Such a good girl for me,” Obi-Wan praised you, eyes commemorating every detail to memory as he saw your pupils blown wide and your face flushed.

Wetness flooded from between your thighs with a fervor you had never experienced before as Obi-Wan took his time lavishing your chest with attention until your hips canted desperately against where his body met your core; further stimulation brought on by the ceaseless grinding of your pelvis onto the man. The sucking sounds of his lips against your flesh was lascivious in every sense of the word until they ceased, leaving you gasping for breath with your head against the pillow.

“Let me try to take care of your problem, little one,” he all but purred as he stared up at you with a darkened gaze.

You nodded hastily at him, crying out in relief as he removed your trousers to find you wearing nothing underneath. His gaze flickered to your sex then to your eyes.

“Will you let me take care of you?”

With your desperate nod he grinned wolfishly before shifting down your body to settle on his elbows between your thighs. You eyes him warily for a moment as he began to lean forward.

“Y-you don’t have to do that,” you hurriedly got out, worried he would not enjoy himself.

“Little one, I’ll admit that I’m doing this for myself, too.” Before you could ask what he meant he licked a slow, hot, and wet stripe on the entirety of your cunt, tip of his tongue catching your clit in such a lovely way you forgot how to breathe. “Good girl. I’ve dreamt of devouring your sweet little pussy.”

You felt your entire body heat with mild embarrassment over his brazen statement. “Obi-Wan,” you whined timidly, going to shift away before he grasped your thighs with unmatched swiftness.

For a moment his gaze softened as he peeked up at you. “I am going to continue, little one,” he spoke subduedly. “But only if you’ll let me.”

You nodded and tried to relax, falling back against the pillow.

“Good girl.” He repeated, making you tremble delightedly.

He wasted no more time and devoted himself to tasting you further; his tongue gathered the slick that poured from your pussy with the vehemence of a man starved. He lapped at your further until he had his fill for the time being, the wet muscle hurrying to familiarize itself with you. He prodded at your clit, making you keen and writhe under his ministrations. He continued to service you with unmatched assiduity; he somehow managed to catalogue away every reaction no matter how mild. You felt your climax approaching much too quickly for your liking as you had wanted to savor this opportunity as long as possible. Sensing this, Obi-Wan took your clit between his lips and sucked, the sensation coupled with the arousing scratching of his beard on your skin sending you tumbling over the edge as you cried out, shocked by how suddenly it was brought on. He barely gave you a moment to adjust before he sat back on his knees, hand fiddling with his trousers before he pulled his quite impressive cock out, head red and swollen. Without warning, he sunk two of his fingers into your pussy, the tender walls clenching tightly around him as you greedily accepted them repeatedly as they pumped in and out of you. The squelching of your pussy was barely audible over the sounds of you crying out, mumbling incoherent praise as he worked your overstimulated body toward another orgasm. Your wetness dripped salaciously onto your sheets, soaking them and Obi-Wan’s fingers as he continued to drive into you, fingers curling indulgently inside you and pressing against your front wall in a way that made your head spin and caused stars to cloud your vision. You came once again with a whining moan, body overheated and chest heaving as your lungs tried desperately to gather air.

Your hips jolted in shock and you screwed your eyes shut as you felt the hot and smooth head of Obi-Wan’s cock, slick with precum, rubbing against your entrance, dipping in slightly and causing you to spasm. “Kriff, yes, Obi-Wan,” you huffed. “Just please be gentle.”

He gasped in a way that snapped you from your reverie, eyes snapping open to meet his. In that moment, Obi-Wan looked as though he was awoken from a dream to witness something truly horrific. He ripped himself away from you, stuffed his cock away and hurried from the room, leaving you naked, shocked, and hurt.

“Why did you leave?” you asked, voice more authoritative than you felt in that moment.

He sighed, arms crossed as his eyes darted to the floor. “Because it reminded me of my first time with Satine and I remembered that it was wrong. Especially because you were my padawan.”

You concealed your stupefaction as you studied the man before you. Obi-Wan, the king of ‘no attachments’, has, not only loved, but fornicated with a woman. You felt a twinge of melancholy on Obi-Wan’s behalf. He only recently lost her after cherishing her for years.

“I pushed you away not just because I feel like you’re better suited somewhere where you can live and love and pursue your own interests,” he spoke again, not waiting on a reply. Waves of sorrow rushed from Obi-Wan, feeling almost oppressive as you reached out to him in the force. “I pushed you away because I was terrified I was becoming attached to someone else the way I had with Satine. I was terrified that I would fall to the dark side with further temptation. It’s one thing to have affection for someone on another planet but another thing entirely to harbor attraction for someone I see every day.” You were convinced you saw moisture gathering in his eyes. “I am sincerely sorry for the way I treated you. The entire situation was my fault to begin with; I started everything, I was your master and I allowed myself to harbor those feelings.”

“Obi-Wan,” you interrupted. “It isn’t like you trained me from a youngling. You didn’t watch me grow up. You knew me when I was already a woman.” You sighed, shoulders slumping. “I’m sorry that I fed into it even though I knew attraction and affection was not appropriate.”

He smiled bitterly at you. “It really isn’t your fault. Like I’ve said before, you were just a padawan. As the master it should have been my responsibility to exercise self control and keep myself in check. It’s just-“ He pinched his nose in frustration, teeth gritted tightly. “There was something about you that was just so lovely and lively and I couldn’t help myself. Please, forgive me.”

You shook your head. “I’m not going to lie to you or myself any longer by pretending that I fully regret that night. I wish things ended differently but I still cherish that memory.” A heavy sigh escaped you. “We need to let this go so we can help Anakin, now. He needs us more than ever.”

“I know,” Obi-Wan replied, eyes meeting yours. “I’m also very sorry for how I was when you came to me about Anakin months ago. I’m not trying to make excuses, just explain myself, but-“

“Obi-Wan,” you gently interrupted him again. “I understand that you were grieving. I wish I had said something to you that day; maybe things would have been different.”

He nodded scarcely letting you know he was paying attention. “I have missed you, little one,” he admitted, eliciting a gleeful feeling that spread from your chest to your extremities.

“I’ve missed you, too, Master,” you replied, stepping closer to where he stood. “Let’s just put all of this behind us and start again.”

He nodded with a slight but grateful smile. “Very well. I am very proud of the Jedi you’ve become,” he whispered genuinely before shocking you by pulling you into an electrifying embrace.

Almost as if on cue, the door opened with a swish, the two of you breaking apart quickly, but not quickly enough to evade the attention of the Chosen One who smirked slyly at you and his former master.

“Am I… interrupting something?” he asked teasingly.

Having regained his composure, Obi-Wan rolled his eyes. “I’m going to be returning to my quarters to meditate.”

“To ‘meditate’,” Anakin mocked as he narrowed his eyes at Obi-Wan as he began to pass.

“How callow,” Obi-Wan snarked before pausing to turn to look at the both of you, his expression unreadable. “Behave yourselves when you go out. Don’t do anything crass.”

Before either of you could ask what he meant, he departed. Shaking his head as if he were cleansing his thoughts of Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi, Anakin looked at you with a blaze of excitement burning in his expression and through the force.

“Padmé and I would like you to come to her- I mean- our apartment this evening for dinner.”

“Of course,” you replied, riveted at the prospect of seeing two of your favorite people.

-

You laughed at a comment Padmé made criticizing the crescent couches you were all currently perched upon as the sun sank lower in the sky, obscured by the monolithic buildings that littered the horizon. A glass full of a fruity wine swished absently in your hand as you only half listened to a soft political argument Padmé and Anakin were having until Anakin said something that caused the darkness to present itself.

“What did you just say?” you asked, head turning from the skyline to where Anakin sat on the couch across from you.

He looked confused for a moment. “I just said the Chancellor doesn’t agree.” There, again, the darkness flickered as Anakin spoke of the Chancellor.

“I’ve never met this Chancellor Palpatine, myself,” you said, treading cautiously as you paid close attention to the bizarre sensation you felt oozing from Anakin at the mere mention of his name.

He grinned brightly, stunning you momentarily before you regained your focus. “The Chancellor is a brilliant man. He is sensible and highly educated. He’s a different kind of politician.”

You could sense Padmé’s unease. “Some of the things he does are… odd. He has had plenty of opportunities to try to make peace but he just seems to perpetuate the cycle.”

“Maybe you just don’t understand how hard it is to be in his position during wartime, Padmé,” Anakin immediately argued.

“Ani, he continues to refuse to relinquish emergency powers. Systems continue to leave the republic under his rule yet he stays because of those powers,” Padmé retorted, her brow furrowed in intensity.

“He has those powers so he can deal with the crisis at hand.” Anakin crossed his arms at her. “If the war were over he would relinquish those powers.”

She simply raised her eyebrow skeptically and shook her head, knowing Anakin would not be reasoned with. A data pad chimed to Anakin’s side and he immediately stood, starting to walk into another room.

“It’s the Chancellor,” was all he said as he dismissed himself, the darkness within him still palpable to you even as he created distance.

You wasted no time, turning to where Padmé sat next to you on the couch to gather as much information from her as possible.

“Padmé, does Anakin communicate with the Chancellor frequently?” you asked, keeping your voice low as you did so.

Her eyes peered into yours knowingly. “Sometimes it seems that way. I’ve always found it odd that he would have need to speak to Anakin outside of conversations with the Jedi in general.”

“Has this been going on long?”

She glanced to make sure he wasn’t yet returning. “Probably before we even got married after the Battle of Geonosis. The calls don’t last long and they don’t come every day, but they’re long enough to be notable.”

Anakin had clearly concluded their dealings as the darkness had subsided from its previously imposing state.

Thinking quickly you uttered your last question before his return. “Could I accompany you to the senate meeting tomorrow?”

-

You had already concluded that you weren’t cut out for formal debate politics shortly into the senate meeting. Everything felt like tedious procedure that yielded no results. There were constantly people imploring action from others only for the plea to fall on deaf ears, forgotten much faster than it had been presented. It disgusted you to hear the pleas for help that so few gave true consideration. Still, you remained vigilant, annoyance prickling under your skin as you waited for the Chancellor to make his appearance. Your eyes darted between Bail Organa and Padmé, trying to remain stimulated lest you wind up watching the back of your eyelids inadvertently and miss seeing the Chancellor altogether. There were applause and cheers that were far more cacophonous than any you had heard until that point, your gaze shooting up to see the chancellor approaching the podium, finally, already hours into the debate.

As he spoke, you reached out in the force to try to sense something from him. You grew mildly vertiginous as you attempted to read him, exasperation with yourself settling in against your will. You closed your eyes, entering a meditative state almost instantly as you blocked out the force from every other living thing in the room aside from you and the human man that was speaking. Time felt slowed as you continued contemplating the politician as he spoke, perplexity beginning to set in as you remained immersed in trying to read the figure. As you intently stared at him, his eyes scanned the crowd until landing on you, making your blood run cold as he maintained prolonged eye contact with you, specifically, before moving on.

You felt nothing from this man.

Notes:

Sometimes I find myself catching things after I’ve already published my work in my sleep deprived frenzy so I have to try to edit as quickly as possible. Please excuse the errors I’ve
incurred as punishment for writing instead of sleeping.