Chapter Text
When some drunkards at the bottom of the tables noticed the hosts' disappearance, they discussed the subject as drunkards do.
"You know," one said, "I've always wondered who's the woman in their you-know."
Another laughed, wine spilling from his drink all over the table. "Isn't it so obvious for ones with," he pointed to his eye, "eyes?"
"The king's pretty," a third, distracted, said, leaning heavily on his elbows.
"Nay, the knight's prettier with his fierce eyes and mouth. It makes you want to fill them with your fluid."
The second one said, "I'm sure he would give his lover quite the impressive swordfight. Hehehe."
"You think the spaceman got a real sword? Who knows if he got a maidenhead instead," the first one said.
"That'd be a pretty maidenhead to take! But I've seen him angry at the knight before. And, boy, does he own that knight like a dog owns his bitch. I'm sure the knight cries like a little whore in bed."
"As interesting as your dissertation about the sacredness of physical entanglements is," a stern voice interrupted, "I must advise that such a discourse, frivolously done by anyone but the concerned persons, may- unintentional, I'm sure- degenerate into baseness and vulgarity that does not befit its subject-matter."
The three drunkards gaped at the knight, Sir Pennyworth, peeking at them with eyes of utter disdain and contempt.
"We're... we were jesting, good Sir," the second drunkard mumbled.
They had not thought the knight could look scarier until that knight smiled. "Everyone loves a good jest," he agreed convivially, "Shall I share yours with the guest of honours tomorrow on your behalf?"
"No! That's an honour we don't deserve," the second one said, dabbing at his considerable sweat.
"We are leaving, in any kind," the first one replied.
The third one nodded exaggeratedly, eyes wide as if he had seen a ghost.
"You do not wish to stay longer, sirs? We're famous for our long-term accommodations," the knight stated with an ambiguous smile.
The three drunkards ran to the door, tumbling along the way.
Alfred smiled, satisfied. "It's been a long time since I've done that."
He walked away, whistling.