Chapter Text
"Peace is something everyone wants but most can never receive. We try so hard to fix the world or the people around us that we don't realize that sometimes being at peace is just being comfortable with someone you know. Feeling happy, feeling content, and feeling in love." -IP
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Song : Hunger - Harry Styles
Louis never really liked winter after Christmas ended. It was always his birthday, Christmas, New Years, and that's it. Done! He always believed that it should just change to summer right after New Years but obviously, Mother Nature doesn't listen to him.
Louis still feels the same. Even more so, since it's the first time Louis won't be with Harry for his birthday. He knows he should be over it. He also knows that nothing he does will bring Harry back but he can't help but wish it could.
So, that is why, right now, he is standing outside Harry's house. As he stands there, snow covering everything he sees and chills being sent all over his body, he starts to feel numb. A stiff smile placed on his face in hopes that any second, Harry is going to pull up and run into his arms. He has thought this plan out for a while.
1. Stand at Harry's door outside, holding flowers, a welcome home sign placed at his feet, and a wrapped gift placed next to him on Harry's front steps.
2. Harry is going to arrive back home, see him, rush to him and cry into Louis's arms. At peace and finally at home again.
3. They will spend the rest of the night cuddled together, watching Love Actually (since it is technically a Christmas movie and Harry's favorite).
He told his mom the plan and all she said was, "okay love. But just remember, if it doesn't go the way you expect, I promise it'll get better". Louis just shrugged off her advice and left. He didn't want to think that Harry wouldn't come back. He didn't come back for Louis's birthday or Christmas so the only thing left is his birthday. If he doesn't come back now, chances are he never will and Louis won't believe that. He can't.
So, Louis waits. He waits and he waits and he waits. Anytime a car passes, he gets a rush of excitement and then when it drives past, never stopping, his heart drops. He still stands there though. Even as the snow storm gets worse and his vision cloudy. Even at one point, he sees his mom and little sisters walk over and sit with him, hot coco in their hands and blankets. They sit with him. They don't talk or say how stupid it is waiting for someone who won't show. They don't say anything. They just sit with him and hope that Louis is right. Well.... Sadly he isn't.
It gets to be 8:00 pm and his mom tells him she needs to take the girls back inside and to sleep. Louis nods his head, smile now completely wiped off his face.
He should have known. He shouldn't have been so stupid, so naive. It finally hits him that Harry isn't coming when all the houses lights on the street turn off. Christmas lights and post lights are the only visible signs of life. Tears fall down Louis's cheeks, warming up the cold dryness of his skin.
He starts to cry harder and harder and harder.
"I'm so stupid. I'm so stupid. I'm so stupid." Louis says to himself, over and over and over again.
Louis bends over and rips the poster he created into pieces. "Welcome home, sunshine" now a scramble of letters. The white poster board now blending in with the white of the snow.
His sobs are muffled by the loud wind and his vision becomes even more blurred from the tears forcing their way out. This is one of the first times Louis has cried about Harry leaving since the first day. He doesn't try to stop it like he otherwise would. He doesn't stop the anger, the hurt, the longing. He doesn't stop crying even as his mother comes back up and forces Louis to walk inside his house.
That night he goes to sleep with two thoughts.
1. Harry's never coming back.
2. Harry made Louis cry on his birthday.
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Song : This Love - Taylor Swift
Years later.
"Louis!"
He is woken up from his deep sleep by a loud voice and a ruckus being made in the bed next to him.
"Hmm?" Louis hums, turning over on his side so his back is facing the noise.
"Baby! Wake up!" The voice comes out louder this time and it makes Louis fully wake up.
"What Haz?" Louis asks, voice deep from having not been used through the night.
"Lou..." the voice is now soft, Harry's arms coming from behind him. Louis leans into the touch and feels his lips curl into a smile. He finally opens his eyes and turns around so he is eye to eye with green.
"Now, what is so important that you woke me from such a wonderful sleep?" Louis asks, smile still clear as day on his face.
"Louuuuu." Harry wines. "You know what's important." Harry pouts slightly.
"Hmmm..." Louis lifts his eye brows and places his hand on his chin, thinking. "Is it... Clifford's birthday?"
Harry laughs. "No... we got Clifford like three weeks ago! We don't even know his birthday."
"Hmm... right, right. Okay... is it my birthday?" Louis asks, smile growing even wider as Harry's pout grows deeper and deeper. His brown curls lay in front of his eyes which Louis moves away with his hand. "Haz... of course I know what today is. I've never forgotten it."
Harry's pout then turns into a huge smile. Harry rolls Louis on his back so he can lean over him. "Never?" Harry asks, his voice instantly quieter.
"Never." Louis leans up and connects his lips with Harry's. "I actually never told you..." Louis starts to become slightly embarrassed and sad thinking about the memory.
"Never told me what?" Harry asks, voice still quiet. Harry runs his hand against Louis's cheek which instantly comforts him.
"The first year, after you left and your birthday came... god it's embarrassing." Louis laughs. "I um... I waited outside your house in a snow storm with flowers, and a poster, and a present for you. I thought that maybe, if there was any day you'd come home, I'd be for your birthday. Obviously that didn't happen." Louis looks at Harry, who's eyes now look glossy.
"You waited?" Harry asks.
"I'd wait a million years if it meant I got to have you again. You came back. I knew you would. I just wish it happened sooner... and in better circumstances. You went through so much, H. And you went through it alone. Thinking now, about how bad it must have been, breaks my heart. But I have you again and I'm never letting you go. Ever."
"I won't go anywhere. I came back to you. What happened to us, what we went through, it got us so we could be here. In this moment. That's what matters. I never stopped loving you. I never will stop loving you. You're it for me. I'd always come back to you."
"I know, Haz. I know."
Harry suddenly smiles. "What?" Louis asks, a smirk playing at his lips.
"It's kind of funny, don't you think?" Louis raises an eyebrow, not understanding where he's going with this. "You said you waited in a snow storm for me. You waited for me to come home to you. I did the same."
"What are you talking about?" Louis laughs.
"You found me, Lou. I ran and knew you would be there. I waited in a storm for you... you did the same years prior. What is with us almost dying from the cold?"
"Cold doesn't matter when you're waiting for something that makes you warm." Louis says.
Harry bursts out into laughter. "I think that is one of the most stupidest things you've ever said. I'm not joking. I know you were trying to be sweet but that was really cheesy."
"Oi! Says the king of cheesy remarks." Louis laughs, pushing Harry off from on top of him.
"Rude!" Harry says back.
It says quiet for a few moments. They just look at each other and remain quiet. "I actually still have the gift I got for you when I waited for you." Louis says quietly. "I also have another one I got for this year and since your old now."
"Can I see them?" Harry asks, excitement showing through his voice.
"Okay. I'll be right back." Louis gets off the bed and makes his way to his dresser.
Louis and Harry both got their own place four months ago, so John could live on his own and Louis and Harry could have sex and be loud whenever they wanted. Also, they got a puppy which they named Clifford about a month after. They are really starting to feel like a family and thinking about it never fails to make Louis's heart feel full.
He hid his presents for Harry in his underwear drawer because... honestly, it's the only place he thought of that Harry wouldn't search through. He grabs out two black boxes and walks back over to the bed.
"So... it's not a lot but I found his one from years ago when we were packing up my old room. I thought I'd give it to you for your birthday since I couldn't before." Louis hands Harry the first box and watches as he opens it.
Harry's jaw drops and his eyes fill slightly with tears. He pulls out a silver spin ring with the word "peace" carved into it.
"Look... it might be stupid but I remember when we were little and we used to say, "one day when we leave, we will find our peace." Back then, I thought that when you came home, this ring would help remind you of our dreams and where we wanted to be."
Harry looks up and tears slide down his face. "Louis... I don't even know what to say. This must have cost you a fortune."
Louis lifts his hand and wipes Harry's tears. "I'd spend every last penny on things for you. I'd spend the rest of my life showing how much I love you... and I will." Louis smiles. "Now... here's the other one." Louis hands him the second box. "This one I got a few weeks ago."
Harry takes the box and opens it slowly. His jaw drops even more than before and he starts crying even harder when he turns the ring around. A gold ring with a lion on it shows itself and engraved in the inside is "second times a charm".
"I had it engraved because... words hold more meaning and besides, this is our second chance. One we choose how it ends. Nothing stopping us."
Harry places both rings on his hand, the peace ring on his middle finger and the lion on his ring, and jumps on Louis. Holding him so closely as if afraid he would disappear any second. Louis holds him just as close.
"I love you. I love you. I love you." Harry repeats. "Thank you. Thank you. Thank you."
"I love you. Happy birthday Haz."
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Both Harry and Louis go out for lunch with Liam, Grace, Nick, Zayn, Niall, and John. They all celebrate Harry's birthday and get drunk off of cheap beer.
Harry and Louis decide to leave early after having way to much to drink and they make their way back to their tiny flat.
"Do you think we will ever have a family?" Harry asks as they are laying in a little couch fort Louis made. It took him about 20 minutes with Harry covering his eyes for the fort to be finished but H loved it and kissed Louis many times because of it. Definitely worth it. The Notebook plays on the tv as they are cuddled together.
"I want one some day." Louis sleepily replies.
"I do too." Harry moves closer into Louis's embrace and cuddles into his neck. "We should buy a house."
Louis laughs. "We just bought this flat!"
"I know... but I mean later. We should buy a house. Start a family. What Liam and Grace talked about today, about getting married and starting a family... it got me thinking. I want that. With you." Harry sleepily explains.
"I do too, Haz. I always have. One day." Louis says, kissing Harry on the top of his head and closes his eyes.
"One day." Harry says as he drifts off to sleep.
Neither of them would know then, but they would. They'd get the house they loved as kids. They'd raise Clifford and get another dog Bruce. They would spend the rest of their lives happy and so so deeply in love.
Louis waited in that storm all those years ago for Harry to come home. Years later, Harry did the same. Now as they drift off to sleep, having celebrated Harry's birthday for the first time in years, cuddled in each other's embraces, they are happy. They are in love. They are at peace.
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