Chapter Text
Oh she definitely had noticed, didn't she?
Oh no! No, no, no, no...
Mikes arm on his suddenly didn't make him feel fuzzy and warm inside anymore. Instead it started to feel suffocating.
Mikes presence itself felt suffocating. The dimmed lights felt suffocating. The loud noises of the damn movie felt suffocating and Will couldn't breath anymore. Like something was pressing on his chest, in an attempt to push the life out of his lungs. Not again, not now. He had to get out of here.
Ignoring the either confused or annoyed looks from the people around him, Will ran out of the room, trying to find a place that would offer him more privacy.
Thats how he ended up in the mens restroom, head leaning against the door of one of the stalls and leg bouncing nerviously up and down against his arms.
If you were listening closely you could hear the faint sound of people talking outside of the bathroom, but all that consumed Wills ears was an overwhelming silence, not letting him perceive the reality at all.
'Just, just breath. All you gotta do is slowly breath in and out and everything is going to be fine.'
But he couldn't.
Not with the thought of his sister hating him in his mind.
Not with the guilt for completely crossing the line creeping up his spine.
Not with him being a coward again and running of without reason.
'Breath. Nothing happened, you did nothing wrong.'
But something did happen.
And if El had saw him like that, if she knew how just having Mike sitting next to him, touching his hand made Wills heart skip a beat...
Would that destroy the bond they've build over the last year?
Would Will ever be able to look her in the eyes again?
God, would she tell someone?
Would she-
Something was grabbing at his shoulder, shaking Will a little bit.
Startled he looked up, his vision blurry, and was met with a pair of dark, brown eyes. Mike.
Will could tell the boy in front of him was saying something by the way his mouth moved, but Wills ears were ringing, so all he could do was sit frozen on the bathroom floor.
Before Will realized what was happening, Mike had taken his hand and put it on his chest to make Will feel the slow, steady movements of Mikes own breathing. Almost as if to say 'breath with me'. Maybe that was, what Mike was actually saying to him, Will couldn't tell.
It somehow helped him calm down, though.
Whether it was the fact that it was Mike or just the fact that someone was there, it slowly stopped the spiraling thoughts in Wills brain and allowed him to hear Mikes voice again, a mantra of soothing words falling from the taller boys lips.
After some more time Wills breathing had slowed down.
"Hey, Will, you with me now?" Mike spoke softly in that voice he only ever used with Will, since they were just 5 years old, playing in the playground.
Will just nodded, not trusting his voice to form a proper sentence. He wiped his face with his hands and let out a shaky sigh. "Sorry."
"Wait no, don't apologize. But... what happened?"
"I... I just needed to get out of there."
"I saw that, but why?"
Will just shrugged, letting the room fall into silence. Awkwardly Mike shifted next to him, letting his hands ran through his hair, seemingly debating on what to say next, how to get something out of Will. Clearly it took him some time to find the right words, the silence becoming more and more overwhelming.
"You know, you can always talk to me, right?" And that wasn't entirely true, after all they hadn't properly talked for
months after Will had moved away. Only short smalltalk like 'oh hows the weather over there in California?' or 'are your new teachers any better than our old ones?'
Nothing meaningful, nothing that would indicate that Mike was interest in anything under the surface of 'oh yea, California has been great'.
"Yea, sure..."
"Then why don't you anymore?"
When Will took a short look at Mikes face, it seemed genuinely confused and kind of...hurt? Like he truthfully didn't get how Will wouldn't feel as comfortable around him anymore. Like he didn't notice their relationship wasn't as it used to be anymore, even though they had just fought about exactly that not long ago.
Still, the soft look in his eyes awoke something inside of Will, letting him see a glimpse of the past, when it was them against the world, not Mike against Will.
Nervously his gaze fell down to the floor again, examining the grey tiles of the slightly dirty bathroom-ground.
His voice was quit as he spoke again, almost quit enough to be over-tuned by the chatting outside of the room.
"I- just... its all too much and I cant stand myself anymore, I really cant, and I- I don't know" He finally let out, not able to control the way his voice broke halfway through.
"Is that why you haven't been eating?"
Wills head shot up immediately, every thought in his brain wiped out as he stared at Mike, scared the boy in front of him had figured him out.
"What?"
"Will, I'm not stupid. You're eating like a three year old. That cant be normal."
Defeated, Will let his head fall onto his knees, tears starting to color his jeans a dark blue. That hurt.
"Yea, because I am not normal."
"Sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I am just worried about you and I know that you're probably annoyed by that, but I'm so, so afraid of losing you again and if you keep destroying yourself like that, that is going to happen sooner or later."
"I'm just so sick of feeling like shit"
"I know..." Mike sighed "I know"