Work Text:
I opened my eyes at 5:00 am and felt that Peeta was no longer home. The sun was starting to appear in the sky in such a majestic way that I didn't even imagine it wouldn't be another wonderful day. Even after 35 years, the routine was constant, and although I no longer have the body of an agile young woman, I still retain my hunting skills, and I managed to pass that on to my son, unlike his sister who clearly preferred to work helping Peeta at the bakery while studying to become a nurse and helping my mother at District 7 hospital.
An ordinary day became painful and inconsolable.
Haymitch had recently celebrated his 85th birthday at a party at our house, with a cake themed after his favorite thing of many years and with gifts from my children who had adopted him as a grandfather since they were born. Lately it was medication and more medication to try to control his illnesses, but his health was already very poor and we were just waiting for the day when we were going to say goodbye, I just didn't think it would be so fast.
My son has idolatry for the old man and was not satisfied with having to say goodbye to his friend and grandfather. It wasn't easy for me and Peeta either... our lives were shaped by his great help, and even with all the irritations he caused me, he and I knew that we both had each other as support, as nurturing and love. The love of a father I had already lost, and a daughter for him who never had one. Each in his own way. Each one expressing in their own way, which can be very similar because sometimes we are very similar.
Peeta was very committed to helping him in any way that would make him comfortable, fed and clean. Even with his prosthesis and no longer being young, Peeta has the strength to help him bathe and change diapers. He was the only one allowed. Peeta thus fulfills his role as a son and Haymitch looks grateful.
My girl, speaking that way as usual since she is already 23 years old recently (yes, she and Haymitch had birthdays very close to each other - which was actually a great gift for him at the time), tried to find ways to soften any suffering Grandpa Hay might have had. Although she didn't have the same relationship as her brother, I knew she was Haymitch's sweetheart, even though that nickname wasn't new, but she was our family's first pampering, the most unexpected angel in some ways.
For me, daily visits were commonplace. I liked to take him food and chat to pass his time and mine. Today, when I opened the door, I realized that silence reigned in the environment, I climbed the stairs quickly and fearfully, always expecting the worst. Haymitch was lying on his bed facing the ceiling, and it made me breathe easier.
-Hello good day. - I said, sneaking into the room, making him look at me and emitting a weak smile.
-Hey, sweetheart. - His somewhat hoarse voice spoke - did you bring something for me?
-Brought honey bread and mint tea. Let's eat? - I put the tray on his bedside table, and helped him sit on the bed. - How do you feel? – I asked and the room was silent.
- You know, one of the biggest pains I felt was seeing my parents passing away on the same day-Haymitch replied after a few thoughtful minutes, which I respected- It seemed like nothing else was worth it... and having you close to me was the relief of my pain... you know don't you know? Although we act indifferent at times, you are my entire family.
- Yes I know - I swallow the tears that were already making a lump in my throat. The sense of imminent parting made me pray to whatever was protecting us that it wasn't now. Trying to control myself, I replied – And you are for us too, you know how much children love you.
- Yes, I know, they are a piece of my small and enlightened universe. You too, my dear... - We looked at each other, and I could see him eyes, similar to mine, teary. I reached a stage in life where I tried my best to express my feelings, even if shy, as I always was. And undoing the dry lump in my throat, I shed my tears answering him.
- Haymitch, you can't do this to me... - in the midst of the smile and choked voice, by the tears that fall - You know that even having improved, it's still hard to express my feelings like that, but you're also part of my life. in a way that I can't even explain the gratitude I have. I wanted you to know that I love you.
- I know, sweetie. I know. I love you too. – Haymitch replied, touched my hands and pulled me into a hug. Finally, he kissed my forehead.
And then there was our farewell.
That afternoon, Haymitch left peacefully. It was Peeta who found him. I didn't want to see him, but Peeta said he looked serene.
What I can say is that I will never forget the one who was my mentor, my friend, my father and my family. He will always be in my heart and always present in my thoughts.