Chapter Text
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything
Summary: Third Version of Story in Geralt’s POV
XOXOXO
Look, he knows that he is not always paying attention, but in his defense, a lot of shit happened after they got Ciri back. Important things needed to be done and he had to make sure they got done before they left Kaer Morhen. Important things that unfortunately needed his attention more than him talking to Jaskier.
He has to make sure they have enough provisions as well as restocking with what he was about to take, so Vesemir doesn’t gut him while he sleeps. Fuck, that’s an expression he needs to not say around Ciri. They know she carries a lot of guilt inside her about what happened to his brothers; none of which was her fault. No one could have known. But yeah he needed to keep everything stocked while making sure they had enough on the road.
He’s been spending what free time he’s had the last couple of days making sure she was okay. They talked very little while they were training, except to correct something she was doing, but they spoke a lot during the night. She wasn’t sleeping much and refused to listen when he told her she needed her rest.
To her, what she needed was to get stronger so she could protect herself and everyone she cares for. She reminds him a lot of himself when she speaks like that and he has to remind himself she is not his blood. Yet, she is his daughter in every other way.
The only difference is that she asks a lot of questions, much like his last travel companion. She talked about everything and asked a million questions a day but the only difference with her and Jaskier was her very presence demanded respect. When Ciri spoke, she expected answers and when she didn’t get them…well lets just say it wasn’t wise to piss her off. Girl can open the door to other spheres and will probably throw someone in hell one day without breaking a sweat.
She wanted to know if he forgave Yen and he didn’t have a clear answer for her. He couldn’t ever forgive the fact that she chose her own selfishness over the life of HIS daughter, but then she saved her and almost killed herself in the process. Was he still in love with her? He didn’t know, but he knew the three of them were linked; connected by Destiny herself and they needed to stick together. He may still have love for her but was that real or was that the wish?
She was constantly asking about Yennefer and he knew because Lambert and Coen complained to him about her constant questions about the raven haired sorceress. He knows it’s because she wants to trust her again, but won’t unless he does and so he tells her that his personal opinion about her doesn’t change the fact that she is the most talented mage he’s ever known. That seemed to settle her worries about ‘betraying him’ because he found out the very next day, she asked her for her magic lessons to continue.
After that, she started asking about Jaskier. Who was he to him? Why did he trust him to bring her to Kaer Morhen when he’s never been there? Where did he go during the day? Why don’t they speak to each other?
On and on it went until finally he blurted out that he messed up their friendship and Jaskier was probably avoiding him because he was stuck in the Keep with him and his family.
She looked at him doubtfully but seemed to realize she wouldn’t get any real answers from him.
He knows he needs to talk to his old friend. They couldn’t keep avoiding each other when they were about to travel together again. He apologized to him, so he wasn’t sure why Jaskier was hiding from him. Maybe he wasn’t forgiven yet? Maybe he no longer cared about him or his adventures. Maybe he found a new muse.
He tried pushing those thoughts away because the very thought of Jaskier not caring about him anymore just made his stomach ache painfully. Jaskier was the first person to stay with him until he was forcefully pushed away. He probably should admit it to the bard, but that was something he will never forget.
One morning he noticed that Yennefer and Vesemir were speaking in hushed tones that even he couldn’t hear and wanted to know what was going on. He made his way over to them and asked what they were up to.
“The Mage was helping me recreate the Witcher serum.” Vesemir answered and his eyes widened immediately with visions of Ciri strapped to the chair, about to be injected.
Before he could say anything his mentor interrupted and shook his head.
“Ciri is not going through the Trials. With her Elder blood it wouldn’t work. We need a human.” He is told and he visibly relaxes. Not that he is happy that Vesemir wants to bring a human child to the Keep to try and create another witcher but he’s happy that it wasn’t going to be someone he cared for. No one he cared for was fully human.
When another week goes by and Vesemir tells them that training is canceled for the next morning and they are allowed to have a lie in, he is relieved; more than ready to have a full night's rest.
He can admit to himself that he is a fucking idiot and should have known better.
XOXOXO
He is woken up by a loud banging on his door and he shoots out of his bed, sword in hand, ready for another battle. He rips the door open and is surprised to see Yennefer on the other side in her sleep gown, looking scared.
“What’s wrong, Ciri?!” He asks, his voice still rough from sleep but wide awake the longer he looks at her panicked face.
“She’s fine but Jaskier isn’t! Vesemir is going to inject him with the new Witcher serum!” She tells him urgently and his blood runs cold.
What. The. Fuck?
No, that couldn’t be right. Vesemir wouldn’t…he wouldn’t do that. But…he did, not two months earlier with his Child Surprise. Why wouldn’t he try with Jaskier as well?
“He’s…he’s too old.” He croaks out and Yen shakes her head.
“This new formula is for older humans. It was what I was helping him with. I didn’t know…I swear I didn’t know he was recruiting him.” She looked like she was about to start sobbing and he was surprised that she seemed to care so much but he doesn’t have time for that now.
He rushes past her with the intention of getting his brothers but is again surprised to find them in the hall waiting for him, eager to stop this just as much as he was.
They all remembered what the Trials did to them, and if they had it their way, no person will ever feel that pain again. The three of them rush to the lab, with him in the front going so fast even his brethren couldn’t keep up with him.
He rushes inside and he doesn’t think, he sees Jaskier strapped to the same chair he once was in, the same chair Ciri was in, and his mind blanks. He rips the syringe out of Vesemir’s hands and throws it to the wall so it shatters.
With horror, he realizes the syringe was empty. He was too late. He runs to Jaskier and he can see his bright blue eyes shocked at his entrance. He mouths something but before he can speak, the poison must have entered his system because he shuts his eyes in pain.
A pain he never should be feeling. With more anger than he’s ever felt before, he turns to Vesemir who is standing there before his brothers, no remorse on his face.
“This is the second time you’ve gone behind my back…” He growls at the man he once viewed as a father figure. Vesemir doesn’t look afraid, in fact, he looked bored.
“The lad volunteered. I told you we needed a human, who did you think I was getting, a random man from the street?”
“HE ISN’T FULLY HUMAN!” He yells and at that, the oldest witcher looks surprised.
“He told me he was.”
“He didn’t know it but he was part Fae! Which you would have known if you ASKED ME INSTEAD OF TRYING TO TURN HIM INTO A FUCKING WITCHER!”
“He thought he was human and I needed a test subject. Besides, what use was he with us anyway?”
The anger inside him kept growing so much, he couldn’t stop himself; he walked right up to Vesemir and punched him as hard as he could and the old man dropped to the floor in pain. He relished in his pain in that moment and wanted nothing more than to keep hitting the person that put Jaskier here.
Except before he could hit him again, Jaskier started screaming.
Vesemir would have to wait, his friend needed him now. He sat next to the man that followed him for decades. The man that turned him from a Butcher to the White Wolf back to Butcher that tossed him away like he was nothing. He never told Jaskier he heard his song after the mountain but he thought it was fitting: the man who took away his bad reputation as The Butcher of Blakavin all those years ago should be the one to give it back.
After Coen and Lambert took Vesemir away with strict instruction he was not to come back, they too sat in the lab with him.. Yennefer promised to keep him and Ciri away from the screams when she came to the lab to see if they made it in time.
When she found out they weren’t she crumbled to the floor in shock.
“Geralt…I’m so sorry! I didn’t know.” She was whispering clearly upset. If it were any other time, he would go to her and try and comfort her but now he couldn’t be bothered. He couldn’t take his eyes off his bard for a moment, for if he did, he feared it would be the last time he sees his friend alive.
Jaskier wouldn’t stop screaming. Sometimes he would call out for him, sometimes he would beg for it to stop but he was always screaming. His voice was starting to lower for he probably didn’t know he should have had water before the Trial began. When he wakes, he won’t be able to speak for a week.
Yennefer eventually stood up and walked over to him. Where once her lilac and gooseberry scent would have sent him into a frenzy of lust, now he was just annoyed that it overpowered Jaskier’s natural scent of chamomile mixed with pain.
She places a letter onto his lap.
“He told me to give this to you…if things didn’t go the way they should.” She tells him and Lambert growls.
“We don’t know that he’s not gonna fucking make it!” He can’t say he’s surprised that Lambert and Coen also won’t leave Jaskier’s side. They may not know him but they have been in that same chair as him; felt the same pain. This sight brought back a lot of horrific memories and they were all praying to the gods that he would make it. They didn’t know it, but they figured that a man that followed a witcher around for so long, trying to improve his kind’s reputation must be someone worth knowing.
Yennefer says nothing but gives him a look before taking her leave. With shaky hands, he takes the letter off his lap and opens it.
“Dearest Geralt,
If you’re reading this, then the serum didn’t work and I’m gone from this world. I had hoped that I would have gone a more dramatic and maybe heroic way but alas, I should not be surprised that was not what Destiny had in store for me.
I knew from the moment I met you that you were special and I’m so overjoyed that I was able to be even a shadow in your greatness. I wanted to thank you for everything you have done for me. While it was never perfect, being by your side for all these years was the best of my life. You brought adventure into my dull and boring existence. Thank you for letting me be a part of your life, even when I’m sure you wanted nothing more than to get rid of me. So while I am forever grateful to you, I’m also sorry I pushed myself on you for all these years.
I wish you nothing but the best dear White Wolf, for there is no one on this continent that deserves it more than you. You always deserve nice things, as I tried giving you what I could during our travels, but you have always deserved more than I could ever give you. I’m glad you found what pleases you: a child, a mother for that child. The three of you are a family, you don’t need a silly useless uncle as part of that story.
I had hoped when Vesemir came to me about this serum that maybe I would be able to become a witcher and I would no longer have to burden you with my presence again for when you left with Yennefer and Ciri, I knew I was not included. While you did say sorry, you and I both knew you only said it because I forced you to and you probably didn’t care much at all of what you said. I know I was too much for people; I always have been, even my own blood didn’t care for me; but I assume it was worse for you. How you spent twenty years dealing with me, I don’t know.
Also, I must confess, in our time apart I wrote a song about you and let’s just say it was not very flattering. I truly apologize: I was hurt and heartbroken but that is no excuse. You didn’t deserve it. I doubt it caught on anyway.
So with this I leave you. Be safe. Take care of yourself, not just those around you. And don’t be afraid to meet new people once this war is over. You deserve to be surrounded by people who care and have love for you, like I did, always.
Jaskier🌼
If I don’t make it back to where I’ve gone, just know I loved you all along.
By the end of his letter, tears were streaming down his face and the blood was rushing to his ears that he could barely hear Jaskier’s agonizing screams.
He…he honestly thought that he didn’t care for him. And a traitorous part of him thought to himself, why would he!? He made a point of letting him know that they weren’t friends, that he wasn’t needed much less wanted by his side. He told him he hated his songs and his singing, and made sure to discard him whenever something, usually Yennefer came along. This great man fucking loved him and he couldn’t come up with a decent apology for yelling a bunch of bullshit at him and breaking his heart?! What kind of piece of shit was he?!
“I’m so sorry Jaskier, I’m so fucking sorry.” He whispers, taking his clammy hand in his. It was strapped down, but it didn’t matter. He wasn’t going to leave him ever again.
XOXOXO
For two days, he didn’t leave Jaskier’s side. The others would come and go, the longest to stick around was actually Lambert, who admitted he regretted rejecting the bard so quickly.
“I should have known he was special to dedicate his life to being with you.” He mutters, his face twisted in pain from watching such a gentle soul go through something indescribably horrible.
“He is still special.” Geralt is quick to remind everyone he wasn’t dead. The fact that he’s still alive was actually a good sign. If the new serum wasn’t good, he would have already been dead.
Lambert hums, not unkindly but still doubtful. While he may regret his own actions towards the bard, he still didn’t think he was strong enough to pass the Trials.
“What’s going to happen if he does make it? You said he was part Fae.” Coen piped in and he sighs because he’s been thinking the same thing.
“How do you know he’s Fae but he doesn’t?” Lambert asked.
“A contract about eleven years ago, we were hunting something that was tricking and harming the villagers. Turned out it was a group of bored Fairy. He was immune to their charm and only someone with Fae blood or mutagens could do that. He was too far away and didn’t hear them when they told me.” When he explains he can’t help but remember that day. The sun was shining on his face and he looked delighted to meet some fairy that he seemed to forget they were hurting people.
“But Geralt, look how beautiful they are!”
He shook his head out of the memory when the screams finally stopped. With shock, the three of them turned to look at the bard in shock. His heartbeat was slow but strong.
It was the heartbeat of a witcher’s. He may have actually made it!
That night, when everyone else was sleeping, Geralt spoke to Jaskier’s quiet form. He told him things he remembered during their time together, he told him more about Ciri.
“You need to be okay, Jask because I wasn’t lying when I told you I needed you. I need you by my side…because I love you and you make me better.” He confessed.
He spoke more to him than he ever did when they traveled together. How he completely regretted it now.
“When you wake up, you’re going to hear me talk so much you’re going to be sick of me.” He chokes out a laugh.
“Doubtful.” He hears a low low whisper and he shoots up out of his chair to peer over his friend’s body.
He prays that Jaskier is okay. He prays this won’t change the person Jaskier is because he really REALLY needs to speak with his friend about ya know, loving him and everything.
All of a sudden he sees is a pair of bright, glowing, green eyes staring up at him.
THE END