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Kurt Protection Squad

Summary:

Five times the Kurt Protection Squad tres to intimidate Pietro and one time Kurt intervenes.

Or, the Kurt Protection Squad lay out the ground rules for dating the fuzzy elf and what will happen to Pietro if he breaks his heart.

Notes:

The Kurt Protection Squad was a concept I came across via fanart and such. Basically, it’s a group of Kurt’s closest friends and allies joining together to protect Kurt. In the fancomic/artwork I found on Tumblr, the group consists of Kitty, Colossus, Rogue, Storm, and Logan and they do their duty, even if Kurt isn’t always thrilled about how they do it.

I wanted to do something with it. I also wanted to write a Nightsilver fic in the movieverse. So I made a movieverse version of it, including Storm and Logan, but replacing Kitty, Colossus, and Rogue with Jubilee, Scott, and Jean since they were friendly with him. I also added Mystique for a fun little protective mom type scene.

Work Text:

Jubilee

"What are your intentions with Kurt?" Jubilee interrogated. "Tomfoolery? Trickery? A one night stand?"

Brown eyes rolled. Pietro had been cornered in the lounge and interrogated for about an hour now. Ever since he and Kurt started dating, the mansion had become oddly curious with their relationship. Kurt’s friend group was especially curious it seemed.

“Really Jubilee?” Pietro sarcastically replied. “We’ve been dating for two months now. Do you really think I of all people would wait that long for a ‘one night stand’?”

A perplexed pout shot his way as Jubilee nodded. “Perhaps not.” Jubilee mused. “Or maybe you’re being very patient because Kurt’s too naïve to take a hint.”

“I don’t have time for this.” Pietro stood up, annoyed and done with the conversation. “Kurt and I have a show to catch.”

“Hurt him and I’ll smack you!” Jubilee shouted as the speedster vacated the room.

Scott Summers

Scott’s approach was more tame than Jubilee’s. Meeting up with Pietro for lunch, he decided to be more personable and upfront. He asked what Pietro’s intent was. If he was certain Kurt was the one. And how it all started.

For the most part, it was civil. Pietro stated he had been fascinated with the blue mutant since they first met. Curiosity turned to infatuation not long after they became roommates. He had no ill will towards Kurt and wanted this to work.

It was sweet. If not a little cliché. But it seemed like Pietro had no ill intent. For now at least.

“I’m glad for both of you.” Scott complimented. “You seem really happy together and I don’t know if I’ve ever seen Kurt so in love before.”

“But…” Pietro continued, suspecting something.

Scott chuckled, leaning forward. “But if you hurt him, rest assure, you won’t be able to outrun what I’ll have prepared for you.”

Ororo Munroe

Wind smacked Pietro as he trued to make his way down the hall. Behind him was an irate Ororo. Her eyes were glowing and a storm cloud above her.

“He has a twisted on his ankle.” Ororo stated. “What did you do?”

“I didn’t do anything.” Pietro replied, offended. “He…” a bolt of lightening startled and interrupted him. “A kid ran into him and caused Kurt to roll his ankle.”

“Liar! You expect me to believe that the most agile and precious mutant rolled his ankle?”

Another bolt of lightening cracked as she took a step towards Pietro. Just then, a student entered the hallway. With him was Hank.

“What in blazes is going on out here?” Hank inquired.

“Thus liar claims Kurt twisted his ankle after a student ran into him.”

“That’s… exactly what happened.”

The clouds and Ororo’s attention turned to Hank. “What?”

“Yeah, Timmy here,” he pointed to the student with him, “wasn’t paying attention and ran into Kurt. He’s okay. He just needs a little bedrest.”

“I’m sorry.” The student apologized.

The storm around Ororo subsided, calming everyone in the hallway. She trusted Hank’s word and wasn't going to punish the student gor an accident. Ororo turned to Pietro with a firm, but remorseful gaze.

“My apologies.”

Jean Grey

Of all Kurt’s friends, Jean felt the most mature. Ir at the very least, the most sane. She didn’t threaten Pietro, stalk him, or surprise him. She actually found their relationship pretty cute.

Yet, he couldn’t help but wonder if she was as protective as the others. She was never forward with reservations or as dramatic about Kurt getting hurt as the others. So Pietro asked a question. Would you go to any length if I hurt Kurt?

“Oh of course,” she answered, “if you hurt Kurt, I’ll find you and I will give you quite the mental lecture.”

Logan

After a long day if adventuring, Pietro was ready to sleep. Entering his room, he realized Kurt wasn’t there. But someone else was. Turning on the light, Pietro found a gruff and bladed Canadian sitting on Kurt’s bed.

“It’s been a while, bub.” Logan greeted. “How are things with you and Elf?”

“Not you too.” Pietro groaned. “Look, I’m not going to break his heart. I’m not hitting him. Nor am I some evil villain trying to seduce him to the dark side. I think his father would try that last one. I love him and he loves me.”

Logan chuckled, standing up. “Good.” He approached Pietro, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Because if you did, I’d have to kill you.” He chuckled once more, leaving the room.

Mystique (and Kurt)

Pinned against the wall, Kurt’s golden eyes watched Pietro carefully. Hands cradled Kurt’s face as Pietro kissed him.

“I’ve missed you.” Pietro stated as he hugged Kurt.

“It’s only been two hours.” Kurt mused with a smirk.

“Two hours too long.”

“No PDA in the hall!” A voice lectured.

Turning their heads, they found an unamused Mystique standing a few feet away. She walked closer to the duo. Her gaze stayed on Pietro, unpleased.

“Hands of my son.” Mystique demanded.

There wad a pause as Pietro did as he was told. He and Kurt watched her, the latter annoyed and slightly concerned.

“What are your intention with my son?” Mystique inquired. “He’s a delicate flower with a heart as bug as the sun. He needs love not quick attention.”

“Really?” Pietro annoyingly inquired. “Kurt’s a big boy and this isn’t a fling.”

“It better not be. My son isn’t a toy, young man. Breaking him won’t be so easily fixed. Nor will you if you break his heart.”

“Ma, please,” Kurt pleaded, wedging himself between them, “I love Pietro. He treats me right.”

Mystique’s gaze softened some. His words might not persuade her much, but he was honest.

“You’re mother’s worried, Kurt.” She admitted, “so you’ll have to excuse my suspicions.” Approaching Kurt, she kissed his forehead. “Be safe.”

With that she turned around and left them. Pietro watched her leave before looking at Kurt. The blue mutant looked at him with a sheepish grin.

“Sorry about that.” Kurt apologized. “Mom’s apart of the Kurt Protection Squad.”

“I don’t think they like me.”

“They like you. I’m their precious little kitten.”

Pietro rolled his eyes. “An adorably blue kitten.”

With a chuckle, Kurt gently kissed Pietro. “I love you, my silver bunny.”