Paper Trail

Ever had a project that was just meant to be? I missed the initial sign up for the mdzs rbb, but then they reopened sign ups at the last moment and I decided to at least go and have a look at the art to see if anything spoke to me. And I saw this gorgeous watercolour of Jiang Cheng Buri did which looked like it had been made as an illustration for a fic idea I had already been playing around with. I was ecstatic when that was the artwork I matched with, although by that point I was starting to get that Meant To Be feeling about it.
Thank you to the organizers of the mdzs rbb event for putting this all together, and for Buri for creating the art that inspired this. I've had so much fun writing this (something I direly needed in recent months) and Buri has been absolutely lovely to work with, always enthusiastic about the project and going above and beyond creating two more pieces of art for it. It's been an absolute pleasure to work together on this.
Thank you also to Omphalos for cheerleading, betaing and wrangling all of my comma faux pas, and for just being the awesome friend she is. I truly don't know if I would have been able to get through these past six months without you.

(See the end of the work for more notes and other works inspired by this one.)

Work Text:

Written on talisman paper that appeared on Jiang Cheng’s chest while he was sleeping:

Jiang Cheng,

Would you rather I call you Jiang zongzhu? I can try to if you want, but I’m not sure how successful I’d be. You know how I am with names, and you’re always going to be Jiang Cheng to me.

I just wanted to give you a way of contacting me in case you ever need to. With Jin Ling’s situation being what it is, maybe you’d need some scary uncle backup for him. Not that you don’t have scary uncle covered, but if there’s ever a situation where I can be of help, I want to be.

I’m at Bujing Shi right now, but if you use this talisman on your message, it will find its way to me almost instantly even if I am traveling. Just like how this found its way to you! The spell makes it so only the chosen recipient can read it, so it’s private as well.

[There followed detailed instructions on how to set the communication talisman on a letter]

If you want to just send me something to test it out, that’s fine too. It is still pretty new, and there may still be kinks to work out. It doesn’t need to be about Jin Ling.

But I won’t hold it against you if you want to just save it for emergencies where I can’t possibly make things worse.

I just wanted to make sure you could find me if you needed me.

Wei Wuxian

****

Written on talisman paper that appeared on top of Wei Wuxian's pile of research notes later that same day:

Wei Wuxian,

What's all this nonsense about calling me zongzhu? I could never get you to call me that before, why the fuck do you think you could now? Don't strain yourself over foolishness. You've called me Jiang Cheng for years, I'm used to it by now.

~~There's no one else that still calls me that~~

Trust you to reinvent the message talisman. The cultivation world has been perfectly content with the Jin message butterfly, but no, you had to look at it and think you could do it better. The fact that this does seem to have several distinct advantages over the Jin butterfly just makes you all the more aggravating.

Why the fuck are you at Bujing Shi? I would have thought you'd be at Cloud Recesses bothering our new chief cultivator, not up in Qinghe bothering Nie Huaisang.

Things with a-Ling are about as stable as we could hope for at this point. I helped him weed out the most obvious of that snake's lackeys and any that are left are smart enough to keep their heads down for now. That is no guarantee that they will continue to do so of course, or some other faction of stupid in the sect won't get ideas, but things are quiet at least for now.

You could write to a-Ling yourself and offer your services, you know. You don't need to come to me about it first. He's a sect leader in his own right now. I can't be making decisions for him anymore. Or so he keeps telling me.

But the point is, you didn't need to contact me for that. I was under the impression that you wanted to leave our relationship in your past life. If that's the case, it would be better if you did just contact a-Ling directly and leave me out of it.

Jiang Cheng

****

Written on talisman paper that appeared in front of Jiang Cheng as he was walking and thusly ended up smacking him in the face:

Jiang Cheng,

What do you mean I want to leave our relationship in my past life? Where did you get that idea? Would I be writing you if I did? You're the one who hasn't wanted me bothering you.

Not without justification after everything that's happened and I don't blame you. Contrary to some opinions, I can take a hint. You wanted me to leave you alone so I did.

Well, until now at least. I guess I'm not so good at taking a hint after all. But it sounds like that might be a good thing in this case? Because it sounds like you might want me to bother you after all, and I've been reading you wrong all of this time.

So I'm just going to keep sending you messages as I refine the talisman. I'm going to keep sending you messages even after the talisman is done, and I don't need to test it anymore. I'll keep sending them until you tell me to stop.

And then I will. So only tell me that if you really, really want it.

Speaking of my message talisman, you'll notice I'm experimenting with the delivery mechanism, trying to make it harder to miss. The one you sent me just appeared on top of my notes, and you know how messy those can get. It would've been easy to overlook it, and then I would've never known you'd written back to me. This version should make that much less likely to happen. Let me know what you think.

You've given me some other ideas for modifications as well, but I'm not going to tell you what. I'm still working out those logistics, but it will be a surprise for you when I do!

I'm not bothering Nie Huaisang or anyone else at Bujing Shi. In fact, I was invited! I'm working on a little resentful energy problem the Nie have. Or really it's not that little, a better description would be to say it's a chronic problem, but I really can't talk about it. I promised Nie-xiong I would keep his sect's secrets. I probably have said too much already, so please pretend we haven't had this conversation.

Concerning Jin Ling, how much of a threat do you think any of these hidden factions of stupid pose? Is it something we should be trying to weed out now, or just keep a weather eye out for? Either way I think I might have a way to get more information.

It's a big favor I'm doing the Nie. I'm sure a little covert information is the least I can ask for in compensation.

I'm sending this off now so write back soon! But even if you don't, I'm going to keep sending these letters until you tell me to stop. You're going to get sick of hearing from me! It'll be just like old times that way!

Wei Wuxian

****

Written on talisman paper that popped into existence in front of Wei Wuxian's face while he was pouring alcohol, causing him to flail wildly as he caught it but spilled the drink:

Wei Wuxian,

Your talisman letters are definitely harder to miss. I hope you get to experience exactly how hard the same way I did. Keep tinkering. Getting slapped in the face with your fucking letters is not going to put me in a good mood to read them.

I'm not going to tell you to stop writing them. Just so you know. Even if they do keep assaulting me when they arrive. Since apparently I need to spell these things out for you.

If Nie Huaisang did orchestrate Jin Guangyao's downfall – not that I doubt it. In spite of how useless he's played at being this past decade, I remember how clever he was at getting what he wanted at Cloud Recesses when we were young. He was lazy, but he was never stupid. But given all that, I'm not sure asking him to help solidify a-Ling's position is the wisest choice.

Then again, it's probably better to have him working for a-Ling than against him. You've had more dealings with him since this all came out. And, apparently, are doing something that you can't talk about that gives you serious leverage with Nie Huaisang, so I will trust your decision on this.

Where did I get the idea that you wanted to leave our relationship in the past? That's what you told me, idiot. In the temple, you told me to forget everything, to leave it in the past, that it was another life. Just how was I supposed to interpret that if not that way? And... I need a drink for this next part.

Nope, still not drunk enough. Going to need a lot more. This is going to take a while.

[calligraphy becomes noticeably messier for the rest of the letter]

Okay it took half the alcohol in Lotus Pier, but I'm finally just drunk enough to be able to say this. I never wanted you to leave me alone. Just the opposite. Although... I suppose I can understand how that got muddled. So this is me saying it, don't leave me alone. Even if I get angry. Even if I get angry at you. Don't leave.

But don't let me treat you like a-Niang did either. I don't want to be her. If I'm out of line, tell me. Stop me. Don't just... take it like it's your due. Even if it's about something you think is your fault. You used to fight me when I got angry.

I miss that.

I miss a lot of things, but that is something I hope I can get back.

And I'm stopping now before the drink makes me say things I shouldn't.

Jiang Cheng

****

Written on talisman paper that appeared in the shape of a glowing frog on top of Jiang Cheng's head in the middle of training. It is pointed out to him by one of his disciples:

Jiang Cheng,

I've taken your complaints on message delivery into consideration, I agree that it might have been a little too... ah... aggressive. As you can see, I'm trying an entirely new method. This is a little more complicated to do, but I think the benefits make it worth it. Plus the frog is cute! I modeled it after the one on Sandu.

The best thing about it is that it isn't frog specific. You can make it whatever shape you want!

Except dogs. You still could make it into a dog, but the chances of me actually reading it go way down. I'd be too busy running and screaming. So better if you don't.

I'll talk to Nie-xiong about the climate in Jinlintai and threats to Jin Ling. He regularly bursts into my room and forces me to stop working and drink very fine alcohol with him, so it shouldn't be difficult to get a chance to bring it up.

Not that I am complaining. Those nights are actually pretty good. Even if I don't like stopping when I'm in the middle of something, it's probably for the best that I take breaks and be well rested when I'm playing around with the kinds of things I'm having to deal with here. Plus Nie-xiong is just as much fun to drink with now as he was back when we were young.

I was wary about him at first, but I've spent some considerable time here now and had some conversations during which we not quite talked about what happened. Granted, some of his actions were questionable or downright dubious, when they weren't sliding into fucked up, but I'm the last person who can judge someone for doing fucked up things for revenge.

I think we can trust him. At least with how things stand now. If that changes, I'll let you know.

He's the reason I wrote you that first letter, actually. He bet me that I was wrong about you wanting me to leave you alone. He was right, and now I have to work on some tracking talismans for his birds because I lost the bet.

It was a bet I was happy to lose though. Talking with you again is good. Even when it's hard. Even when I seem to be bad at it.

That wasn't at all what I meant in the temple. I wasn't talking about leaving you in the past. I just meant there isn’t a debt between us for what I did, what I gave you, and what matters now is what you’ve done with it – the present. How you’ve made Jiang great again, how you raised Jin Ling, all of that. You did that, all of it, on your own. You don’t owe me anything you don’t want to give me.

But that didn’t mean never speak to me again! If you want to talk to me, I want to talk to you! Of course I do! Just… I wanted you to do so because you want to, not because of some obligation.

For myself, I have to leave the past in the past, otherwise the pain and regret could smother any chance I have of a brighter future in this life. But that doesn’t mean I want to let go of the good things. Those I want to still hold on to. It just can be complicated trying to untangle the good from the bad sometimes.

But you’re not the bad for me. You've never been the bad for me. I just didn’t want you to feel you had to hold onto me if I was the bad for you.

Now that I know I'm not, you're never going to get rid of me.

Wei Wuxian

****

Written on talisman paper that appeared in the shape of a glowing butterfly that landed on Wei Wuxian's nose while he was sleeping, causing him to sneeze and wake himself up:

Wei Wuxian,

Your new delivery method is an improvement simply because it didn't attack me when it appeared. You need to work on the location of its appearance though; if the whole point is to make sure I notice it, having it appear on top of my head is less than ideal. I don't know how long I was walking around with a glowing frog perched on my head like some fucking weird hair ornament, but it was longer than I'm happy about. If one of my disciples hadn't pointed it out, it might still be sitting there with me all unaware.

Work on that.

As you can see, I showed great restraint and refrained from shaping my return message as a dog. I suppose making you run away from it would be counterproductive to what we're doing here after all. Instead I went with a tried and true form. If you're going to reinvent the Jin message butterfly only better, you might as well go all the way.

I can't tell you how thrilled I am that our... communication issues are providing entertainment for Nie Huaisang. I suppose I should just be glad he chose to gamble about it with you instead of gossiping about us to the general cultivation world.

Though I suppose he's more than proven he can keep a secret when he wants to.

And I guess I'm happy you lost the bet too.

You may find it annoying, but at least he's making sure you are taking breaks and resting before you start hallucinating or something because you've gotten too obsessive trying to solve whatever secret problem you're working on. You've always needed a keeper to stop you from running yourself into the ground. It's good that Nie Huaisang seems to be doing the job since I'm not there to yell at you to get some sleep occasionally. I'm glad someone's taking on that responsibility.

I have to admit, I'm a little surprised that that someone isn't your Hanguang-Jun. I know he's busy being Chief Cultivator now, but I expected the two of you would be stuck together like glue. I'm not sure I want to know what the Nie problem is, if it’s serious enough to pry you away from Lan Wangji's side.

As for the rest of what you wrote, you're not the bad for me either. There were times when I wished I could believe you were. I did my best to think you were the bad because, if I could manage to hate you, it would hurt less. But I never managed to convince myself of it. I was angry at you, that I could manage; I've always been better at being angry than anything else.

But I never quite managed to think of you as the bad. Even with everything that happened, and what we thought happened, you still are part of the good. I couldn't hate you because I-

Well, you know.

I'll try to do what you ask and leave the past in the past, but I'm not sure I'll be able to. You were right when you said in the temple I'm not good at letting things go. I think I'm still going to need to bring some things up. Ask questions. Maybe even yell at you about it.

That doesn't mean I don't want... whatever relationship we're working on here. It just means that sometimes I need to fight you about it, and I need you to fight me back.

Because that means you care about this as much as I do.

Jiang Cheng.

****

Written on a piece of talisman paper that appeared in the shape of a glowing frog sitting on Jiang Cheng's foot:

Jiang Cheng,

A butterfly? Really? All the things you could have picked and that's what you went with?

I've worked a bit more on the delivery vector. This should appear somewhere a bit further away from your face.

I don't actually need a keeper, but Nie-xiong is indeed doing a competent job of making sure I'm fed and watered and rested. I almost feel like one of his birds or Lan Zhan's bunnies. I can take care of myself, but it is nice to have someone care enough to make sure that I do. Even when it's annoying.

~~It always reminds me of shijie-~~

I'm not sure what you're imagining, but the Nie problem I'm looking into isn't that serious. Or, well, it is serious, and chronic, but it's not time sensitive. It's been going on so long that at this point, it's better if I take my time and get things right, rather than rush and maybe make things worse before I manage to fix them.

Which is to say, this isn't the reason I'm not with Lan Zhan. I'm here because I thought I might as well make myself useful when I'm not with Lan Zhan, plus Nie-xiong tracked me down while I was wandering and asked.

I'm not with Lan Zhan because... well you said it yourself. He's the Chief Cultivator now. He's got duties he can't shirk so he can't be following me around while I get into trouble anymore. And if I had stayed, it would just make everything harder for him. People would try to use me against him, or they would say the things about me that they've been saying for years, and he'd get all protective and petty and the next thing you’d know, everyone will be whispering about how the Yiling Laozu has cast a spell and bewitched Hanguang-Jun, and things would get even more difficult. It wouldn't even matter if I told him it's fine, to just ignore what they're saying. I don't know if you've noticed but Lan Zhan is very stubborn when he wants to be!

So it's much better if I make myself scarce, at least until Lan Zhan's established himself. It's fine. I'll go back when things die down a bit, and when I've maybe rehabilitated my reputation a little.

As for talking about the past, if there's questions you need to ask, I'll do my best to answer them honestly. If you need to yell at me, that's fine too. I know I've done a lot of things that I deserve to be yelled at about.

I don't know about fighting with you. It's not that I don't care enough to, it's never been that. But some of the things you've yelled at me since I came back I agreed with. That might still be the case if we start treading those old paths again.

But... I'll try to at least acknowledge it if that ends up being the case. I'll try not to shut down.

I hope that's enough.

Wei Wuxian

****

Written on talisman paper that appeared in the shape of a glowing oriole that flew in circles around Jiang Cheng's head before landing delicately in his hand when he held it out:

Jiang-xiong,

Yes, I know I probably should address you as Jiang-zongzhu, but then you'd have to call me Nie-zongzhu, and this whole conversation will take on more formality than I feel comfortable with it having, so Jiang-xiong it is.

Besides, we were friends once. I'd like to think we still are, or if not, at least that we can be again.

Don't worry, I didn't steal the talisman from Wei-xiong. He showed me how to use it so that we could have a secure method for discussing the situation with Jin Ling.

And other things, but I'll get to that.

But first, Jin Ling.

With how determined and forceful you can be, not to mention terrifying, I don't see how any immediate threat to Jin Ling and his rule could still remain. I certainly don't know what I could do beyond what you've already accomplished to help with that.

I'm sure you're correct as well that there are probably others among the Jin who are, to varying levels, both stupid and ambitious enough to have aspirations on Jin Ling's position. Dumb and ambitious do seem to run in the bloodline – for one, who can forget Jin Zixun? Stupid, ambitious and easily manipulated. Sadly, I doubt he was the only one of his sect like that, and San-ge probably encouraged such traits because they would make it easier for him to do what he wanted.

Jin Ling is smart and just as determined as his jiujiu, but he is still young and inexperienced. You and I both know what it's like to be thrust into the position of sect leader when you're not ready for it. At the same time, as much as we might like to help, there is only so much we can do without undermining his position. You don't want him to get a reputation of having to rely on other sects, even if, especially if, those other sects are family.

I think, ideally what he needs is someone that is or has been a Jin, who you are absolutely certain would have his best interests in mind, who is righteous and not afraid to stand up to those who aren't. Do you know anyone like that?

Ah, enough politics for now. Too much of that at once sends my head spinning. How about some gossip instead? Wei-xiong told me a fascinating tidbit the other night when we were drinking. Do you remember Luo Qingyang? She was close friends with Jin Zixuan when we were at Cloud Recesses, but left the Jin after the War. You might remember her better as Mianmian; she was called that more often.

Anyway, when Wei-xiong and Hanguang-Jun were on their way to the Burial Mounds, they stopped at a house they were passing for a drink, and you wouldn't believe whose house it was! It was Luo-guniang's, as you may have guessed! She lives there with her husband and their daughter whose actual name is Mianmian and who Wei-xiong assures me is “the cutest”.

Luo-guniang apparently recognised Wei-xiong and was happy to see him. He said she's doing well, that she's been night hunting as a rogue cultivator. Isn't it funny who you can run into at the strangest of times?

Well, Jiang-xiong, I'm sure you have important sect leader things you should be doing, and I've taken up enough of your time with my idle prattling. I hope you look fondly on my words, even though I don't know why you would want to come to me for advice.

But I am always happy to talk to an old friend if by some chance you want to continue this.

Nie Huaisang

****

Written on a piece of talisman paper that appeared in the shape of a glowing butterfly perched on the handle of the brush Wei Wuxian was writing with:

Wei Wuxian,

Yes, a butterfly, really. It's going to continue to be a butterfly, really. I have my reasons. Only one of which is because it seems to annoy you.

I have to take small pleasures where I can find them.

Your work on the delivery method seems to have paid off. Both your frog and Huaisang's oriole were easily noticeable and polite about it, so well done, I guess.

Yes, that does mean that I got a letter from Huaisang using your delivery method. I am assuming you knew that, but considering the kinds of things he's been up to when no one was looking, I suppose he could've copied it when your back was turned.

Still, he had to know I'd tell you that he used it to contact me, so yeah, you probably gave it to him.

He actually had a pretty good suggestion of a way to help Jin Ling, which I need some information from you for. He said you and Hanguang-Jun ran into Luo Qingyang when you were on your way to the Burial Mounds. Do you remember where her house is? Somewhere between Gusu and Yiling is still a pretty big area to search.

You absolutely do need a keeper! It's the only way to try to keep the fucking damage – to both you and your surroundings – to a minimum. When you don't have one, you start getting ideas about how dispensable you are and come up with the stupidest, most self-sacrificing plans. You need someone responsible around to tell you no when you want to go too far.

Not that you listen more than half the time even then. You're incredibly annoying to care about sometimes. Maybe you can work on that next.

And speaking of stupid self-sacrificing plans, just whose idea was it for you to fuck off so you wouldn't taint the Chief Cultivator's reputation? If you say Hanguang-Jun's, I won't believe you. Frankly, I'm surprised you even talked him into going along with it.

It won't work anyway. Just because you're not there doesn't mean idiots aren't going to talk about you. And it certainly isn't going to stop your precious Hanguang-Jun from defending you. He did that for sixteen years when you were dead and everyone thought you were evil. He's hardly going to stop now that you're back and have been vindicated.

Yes, I've noticed he's stubborn. The entire cultivation world has noticed he's stubborn. This isn't news. And the thing he's the most stubborn about is you!

Thank you for agreeing to talk about the past with me. I will ask questions, I just need some time to figure out where to start beyond when and how and why. Give me until the next letter. I'll have some ready then.

Jiang Cheng

****

Written on talisman paper that appeared in the shape of a glowing butterfly that landed on the edge of Nie Huaisang's fan:

Huaisang,

I'm fine with dispensing with zongzhu if you are. I'm not sure I'm ready for xiong yet. ~~In all fairness if I am to call anyone brother, it should be Wei Wuxian first~~ So you get Huaisang.

We were all a lot of things when we were young. We might still be friends, I don't know. It's hard to figure out when I haven't seen the real Nie Huaisang in years.

Though admittedly I think I caught a glimpse of him in your letter, so maybe.

Speaking of your letter, you chose to shape it like an oriole? Really? I don't care how many times that old idiom has gotten brought up in reference to what happened. You are not fucking funny.

I guess some things haven't changed from when we were young. Your sense of humor is still atrocious.

Thank you for your advice about Jin Ling. The idea about Luo-guniang is a good one; I'm going to contact her when I get her location from Wei Wuxian.

Even if she doesn't want to get involved in Jin politics again (Frankly, I wouldn't even blame her. If there was a way to get Jin Ling out of Jin politics, I would do it,), it would be good to get her in contact with Jin Ling. She was close with his father, and he deserves to hear stories about what Jin Zixuan was like from someone who knew him and who isn't horrible.

I've tried to tell him what I could about both his parents, but most of my stories of Zixuan involve why he wasn't good enough for a-Jie which isn't the impression she'd want him to have of his father, so I usually end up with keeping the details vague.

Speaking of vague details, just what exactly do you have Wei Wuxian doing for you? Is it something I should worry about, or possibly help with? I know you're probably going to tell me it's none of my business, and maybe it wasn't before. But you've got Wei Wuxian involved with it now, and he very much is my business.

Don't tell Wei Wuxian I said he was my business. I'll never hear the end of it.

Jiang Cheng

****

Written on talisman paper that appeared in the shape of a glowing frog on Jiang Cheng's foot once again. There appeared to be a tiny wrapped up scroll tied to its neck:

Jiang Cheng,

Since you said that the delivery was working as intended – and that matches what I've seen, I've stopped tinkering with it for now and moved on to seeing if I can have the talisman transport more than just the message written on it. Nothing too fancy, just the tiniest scroll I was able to draw a reliable map on, so essentially just another piece of paper, but I hope if this works,I'll be able to ultimately refine it to carry a qiankun bag.

And then how much better than the Jin butterfly talisman is this going to be? You don't have to say it. I already know, I'm a genius.

The map I enclosed will show you where Mianmian's house is. I'm not sure why you didn't just call her Mianmian. I actually had to ask Nie-xiong who Luo Qingyang was. You know how bad my memory is for names.

I do think Nie-xiong's suggestion is a good one, if it is what I think it is, but I'm not sure you'll be able to convince Mianmian to go back into all that mess of Jin sect politics. She's got a husband who isn't a cultivator and a young daughter, and I'd probably want to keep them as far from all that as possible if I were her. Then again, she was the Peacock's friend, and I imagine helping protect his son is going to be pretty hard for her to turn down. Also the absolute worst of the Jin are already dead, so it wouldn't be as bad as when she left.

Okay, ignore what I just said. You probably will be able to talk her into it, but she's going to make you work for it.

Speaking of, the research I'm currently doing is making me work for it, you have no idea. I have the beginnings of a solution, but I need more information and maybe to run some tests. So I'm going to be heading out of Bujing Shi for a few days.

Don't worry. Nothing even remotely self-sacrificing is in any of my plans at the moment, and Nie-xiong knows where I'm going and why, so my current “keeper” is up to date.

Really, with the way these message talismans work, I could have just not told you and you wouldn't have been any the wiser. But I guess I kind of want you to know what I'm doing as much as you can? If only to prove I'm not the complete disaster you think I am.

You're correct that I'm the one who made the decision to step away while Lan Zhan settles into his new position. But it's not like I ran off without telling him. He knows why I left. He even walked me out and saw me on my way. And he knows it's only temporary. I'm not going to stay away forever. I honestly don't think I could.

Besides, it's not like he asked me to stay when I brought up the plan. He's fine with it, just like I'm fine with it. Everything's fine.

I'm going to have so much to tell him when I do go back. It's going to be great!

As for you needing time to figure out what you need to ask, that's fine too. Take all the time you need. I'm not going to push you, but I'll do my best to answer any questions you have when you do figure them out.

Wei Wuxian

****

Written on talisman paper that appeared in the shape of a glowing oriole that swooped in through an open window dramatically and landed on Sandu's sword stand.

Jiang-xiong,

I'm still going to call you Jiang-xiong. Calling me Huaisang is perfectly fine though. I have fewer brother issues than you.

Or at least, unresolved brother issues. I've taken care of mine.

Mostly.

I'm glad that my prattling on led to you figuring out a plan to help Jin Ling. It's amazing what idle gossip can lead to sometimes, isn't it? Who knows what piece of information is going to spark something you would never have thought of otherwise?

I am trying, with those I don't have reason to hide from anymore, to be more open. I know I am not always going to succeed. I've been playing a part for too many years, and sometimes the situation will call for me to still play a part, but I am trying.

It's nice to hear you think you caught a glimpse of the real me. Even I find it hard to see that sometimes.

I'm not funny? I'll have you know that I am fucking hilarious. When Wei-xiong he found out about the oriole, he laughed so hard that he fell over.

You asked about the problem Wei-xiong is helping me with. It has always been a closely guarded Nie sect secret, but at this point the Chief Cultivator and the leaders of the other great sects have at least an idea of it, so it's probably only fair I tell you too. I only ask you to keep my sect's secrets, just as I asked Wei-xiong and Huangang-Jun.

It's no secret that those who practice the Nie style of cultivation often die by qi deviation. The more powerful the cultivator, the more powerful the saber. The more powerful the saber, the greater the chance of qi deviation. The truth is that in the end practically every Nie cultivator will die that way, if they don't die another way first. No Nie has ever cultivated to immortality, and if things stay the way they are, none ever will.

That's not the worst of it, and that's not exactly the problem Wei-xiong is working on, although I have hopes that any solution he might find could eventually solve this as well.

The problem isn't the cultivators, it's the sabers. Nie cultivators die, their sabers do not. They continue, their drive to destroy evil continues, and continues to grow stronger. Left unchecked, with no wielder to direct and control it, their definition of evil expands and grows until they find a target.

A Nie saber cannot be claimed by anybody but their wielder, and they all only have one of those. They are also virtually impossible to destroy. Attempts by former generations to do so went extremely poorly.

While things were obviously made worse by the circumstances of Da-ge's death, what Baxia became is something any saber has the potential to become if left unchecked.

One of my direct ancestors came up with the solution the Nie sect currently uses – if the sabers won't stop looking for evil to subdue and eliminate, give them a steady source to battle. They built a tomb for the sabers, filled it with all kinds of defenses and containment for resentful energy, and then lined the walls with bodies they'd obtained that had the potential to become fierce corpses. The sabers keep the bodies' resentful energy in check, so they don't become fierce corpses, and in so doing, it keeps the sabers' energy in check as well. A perfect balance. It was an ingenious solution really, and it's worked for generations.

As long as nothing happens to disturb that balance. If something does happen, if, say, someone were to try to rob the place and in so doing anger the sabers or, even worse, destroy some of the bodies, the sabers will go on the attack. Or the protections put in place will seek out replacements in order to maintain the balance.

The arrays controlling the tomb will have to be reset. And until they are, the tomb.... well, it eats people.

There is a similar, but much more controlled problem, when new sabers are added. The amount of resentful energy required to maintain the balance needs to be increased, but that is much more within our control, and we can bring bodies with us to inter at the same time as the new saber. But ultimately, even that is unsustainable. There's only so much room in the walls after all.

Da-ge and I tried to find a better, less questionable solution, but all it ended with were a lot of dead Nie cultivators and Da-ge having the worst qi deviation he'd had up to that point. San-ge's methods played a hand in that qi deviation of Da-ge's as they did in all the others, but even without that I believe the rest of what happened would have been the same.

As long as the tomb was not disturbed, it was a problem that was contained, and I’ve had other things on my plate these past years, so I've left it alone. Now here is Wei-xiong, with his unique understanding of resentful energy, and his knack for coming up with solutions to impossible problems. I truly believe that he will give us the best chance to fix this that the Nie have ever had.

Nie Huaisang

****

Written on talisman paper that appeared in the shape of a glowing oriole that landed on Chenqing while Wei Wuxian was playing Wangxian, while sitting outside the Nie Saber Tomb beside a campfire as one does:

Wei-xiong,

I trust things are going well in your on-site research? I've no reports of anything exploding, and none of the alarm arrays keyed to the tomb have gone off, so I have no reason to assume they're not.

Of course, if you had let me send some disciples with you, I wouldn't have to assume because they would be checking in and keeping me informed.

Which you so far are failing to do. I know you get caught up when you're figuring out things, but I would consider it a personal favor if you would remember to let me know you're still alive and uninjured occasionally.

If I lose contact with you for long enough, I will have to write Jiang-xiong and Hanguang-Jun to let them know, and then it will be even odds which of them will kill me first. Keep that in mind and keep in contact, okay?

Speaking of Jiang-xiong, I have told him about the sabers and the saber tombs and what you're trying to find a solution to. That means there is no need to twist yourself into knots anymore trying to tell him what you're doing without telling him what you're doing. I hereby give you permission to discuss any of this with him that you want to.

He vaguely threatened me over you, by the way. I wasn't kidding when I said if something happens to you, I can't predict who would kill me first.

So take care with what you're doing for my sake, if not for your own.

Nie Huaisang

****

Written on talisman paper that appeared in the shape of a glowing butterfly flying directly out of Wei Wuxian's campfire into his face:

Wei Wuxian,

I will admit, just barely, that you have a knack for invention that may, on occasion, rise to the level of genius.

That doesn't change the fact that you're an idiot the rest of the time.

The map arrived undamaged. I've arranged things so I have enough time to head out tomorrow to visit Luo-guniang without my absence from Lotus Pier being remarkable. Hopefully I can convince her to rejoin the Jin sect to help protect Jin Ling.

Or at the very least, talk to him about his father. She actually liked Zixuan. I'm sure she has to have stories that don't end with one of us wanting to punch him in the face.

Huaisang told me what you're working on for him. I'm assuming when you say you're taking a trip to get more information, what you really mean is you've gone to poke the saber tomb. The place that eats people when it's poked. I've assumed you've gone alone because you are an idiot with no sense of self-preservation.

So this needs to be said, Wei Wuxian. Do not do something that is going to make the man-eating saber tomb try to eat you. If I find out you have, I'm going to break your legs.

Thank you for at least telling me you were leaving Bujing Shi. That's progress.

As to the situation with Hanguang-jun, what I'm getting from your description is that you are both idiots. This isn't news – you were both idiots about each other back when we were young. I thought you might have gotten over that, considering the way he wouldn't leave you alone since you came back, but apparently not.

Certainly he should have asked you to stay, but everybody knows he doesn't speak when a glare can do. You, on the other hand, only shut up when you have something important you should be saying. Like asking if you could stay. Or if he wanted you to stay. Instead of both of you pretending you're fine with you leaving. When it's pretty obvious to anyone with eyes that neither of you are.

Like I said, you're both idiots.

Since you've forcibly reminded me of this fact, I know where to start about talking about the past now.

Do you know why I'm upset about what you did? You knew I would be upset, that's why you never told me, but do you understand why? Because we're never going to get past it if you don't understand.

Just to be clear, that doesn't mean this is over if you don't. It just means I will have to spell out fucking everything using tiny words that even an idiot can't misunderstand.

It would be nice if we could skip that step.

But you're you so I'm not holding my breath.

Jiang Cheng

****

Written on talisman paper that appeared in the shape of a glowing butterfly that landed on the edge of the cup the held Nie Huaisang's morning cup of tea:

Huaisang,

You are not fucking hilarious. Making Wei Wuxian fall over laughing is not proof of anything because Wei Wuxian will laugh at the stupidest things. He has the worst sense of humor. Case in point, he laughed at you, didn't he?

I was prepared to argue the point about you having less brother issues than me, but then I remembered my issues are with Wei Wuxian.

Fair point.

Tomorrow I have carved out some time to go talk to Luo-guniang. Unlike you, I don't have the knack at talking around things and still getting people to do what I want them to, so hopefully being blunt and honest will work. I know this is your idea, but it does seem like the best way to help safeguard a-Ling without making it a huge political mess.

If I do fuck this up, I'll probably ask you for more ideas. I'm on to you. I know you're better at ideas than pretty much anyone else involved in all this shit.

Thank you for trusting me with the information about what is happening with your sect. I promise you, I will keep your secrets.

Is that why you were always reluctant to practice with your saber? You didn't want that to happen to you?

Is that going to happen to you? If Wei Wuxian doesn't fix things, I mean. You still rarely are seen with your saber, and you've never seemed to display the temper the Nie are famous for. Of our generation of leaders, I'm the one whose anger everyone worries about, not you.

Except that's wrong, isn't it? Revenge is all about anger. What you did and how you did it, that was as much revenge as it was justice. You're just as full of anger as me or your brother or any other Nie. You're just really really good at hiding it.

I have mixed feelings about all of that. The hiding I mean. I understand anger and revenge, but I am so tired of people hiding things. You say you're trying to be more open, and I can see that. But even so, it's going to take time before I can completely allow myself to trust you.

I hope you understand.

Wait, you said all the other major sect leaders.... How does Jin Ling know about any of this?

Jiang Cheng

****

Written on talisman paper that appeared in the shape of a glowing rabbit on Lan Wangji's chest sometime in the wee hours of the night. Exact time was uncertain as he only discovered it in the morning when he woke:

Lan Zhan!

How do you like my new message talisman? I've been refining it for a bit now, so this is almost its final form. It probably will arrive when you're still sleeping, unless you're up for Chief Cultivator reasons, so hopefully you awoke to find my bunny waiting for you! I hope you like it! I chose this shape especially for you.

Because I know how much you love rabbits!

I'm sorry I haven't really been keeping in touch. You know me and how easily distracted I can get. But just because I haven't been writing doesn't mean I haven't been collecting memories to share with you. When we see each other again, I'm going to have so very many stories to tell you, you're going to get tired of listening to my voice!

Aiya, you get the teeniest tiniest little furrow of your brow when you disagree with something I said, and I bet you're doing that right now. Alright, alright, I know what you would say. I know you would say you would never really get tired of listening to my voice.

We'll just have to put that to the test some day, won't we?

I'm sure you're wondering where I am and what I've been doing. I did wander around for a bit after I left Gusu and dealt with a few night hunts here and there. Nothing really big or noteworthy, but it was enough to keep me fed and supplied as I traveled. It would've been even without the money you put into my qiankun pouch when I wasn't looking – that was incredibly underhanded and sneaky of you, Lan Zhan, and I am shocked at the audacity of your actions.

You didn't have to do that, and I would've been fine on my own, but thank you anyway. It's always nice to know someone cares.

So where was I? Wandering and working as a rogue cultivator, right. I was doing that and ended up in a little town near the Qinghe border. There was only one inn, and naturally I went there and rented a room from the very nice lady in charge. I had dinner in the main room and a few drinks with the locals before I went up to my room.

When I opened the door, I found Nie Huaisang sitting at the table waiting for me! He was just sitting there with his fan and several bottles of very expensive alcohol – of a brand that the inn didn't even serve! When I came in, he just smiled at me, called me Wei-xiong and offered me a drink like he hadn't just materialized in my room out of thin air.

I did the only thing I could do. I greeted him, called him Nie-xiong and sat down to drink with him.

Long story short, we talked, really talked. He didn't come out and admit to everything, but he wasn't really trying to hide his involvement and actions either. It was good, talking to him like that, like we used to when we were all young.

Anyway, we got on the topic of the Nie sabers and the saber tomb, and I said I had a few ideas about it, and he invited me to Bujing Shi to research and see if any of those ideas would actually work, and so that's where I've been for the last few months.

It's been kind of nice. I think the last time I stayed in one place for so long was when I was living at the Burial Mounds. This is nothing like that of course; the food and drink are far better for one thing, but the knowing ahead of time where I'm going to be sleeping every night is... nice.

I think I might want that, a place to live and set down roots, if I could find a place that would have me. Wandering free is all well and good, but it would be nice to know there's somewhere waiting for me when I'm done with my wandering.

I'm not at Bujing Shi right now. I'm actually camped outside the saber tomb. I've made enough progress that I need to check some things at the actual site. Don't worry, Nie-xiong shared with me all the keys to the various defenses, and I've studied the plans very thoroughly. I know what I'm getting into, and I'm confident I can handle things, so you can stop glaring at the paper, Lan Zhan. I'll be fine.

Jiang Cheng and I have been talking. That's how I've refined this message talisman, actually, by writing to him. He's the one who had to endure the earlier growing pains with the delivery system. I wanted that perfected before I sent one to you. You deserve my best efforts.

Jiang Cheng and I... it's been going well, I think? We're still talking at least, and he called me an idiot and threatened to break my legs in his last letter, so I think he's actually okay with me now? Or getting there at least.

(Calling me names like that and threatening to break my legs is Jiang Cheng's way of showing affection, so you can stop glaring, Lan Zhan. It really is a good sign.)

We probably can't ever get back to the exact kind of relationship we used to have, but I'm starting to believe we can build a new one. Maybe even a better one? That might be too much to hope for, but the Jiang motto is 'Attempt the impossible' after all, and I think I may still be Jiang enough to follow that in this with him.

He called you an idiot too. Well, he called both of us idiots because he says neither of us are saying what we really want and just assuming. I... Is he right? I assumed that my being there with you while you're establishing yourself as Chief Cultivator would be far too much trouble and that you agreed with me. Was I wrong about that?

Aiya, I've gone on for far too long. I'm sure you have more important business calling for your attention. I've enclosed notes on how to create the message talisman, so you can send one back whenever you want. I promise it will find me wherever I am.

Wei Ying

****

Written on talisman paper that appeared in the shape of a glowing frog, which Jiang Cheng discovered sitting on the pommel of Sandu when he woke in the morning.

Jiang Cheng!

You called me an idiot and threatened to break my legs! You really do still like me!

Tell Mianmian I said hi when you see her. Oh and give little Miamian some lucky money. (You'll probably want to do that anyway without me telling you to. She really is the cutest little pouty thing. And she isn't afraid of the Yiling Laozu. Lan Zhan and I overheard her telling her father that the Yiling Laozu doesn't hurt good people.)

You are right about where I am. I am at the saber tomb, but I'm sure the reality of what I'm doing is far more tame than whatever it is you're imagining me doing. I'm not here to poke anything. I just need to get the feel of the exact kind of energy here, resentful and otherwise, and test how it reacts to the ideas I've had.

Really it's probably just going to be me frowning while I listen to things most people can't hear and maybe occasionally adjust a radical or two on the arrays I'm building. It would be extremely boring for anybody else with me, so of course I came alone. You used to hate it when I got distracted working on a new talisman idea; this would be like that only a hundred times worse. I can't subject anyone to putting up with that.

Lan Zhan... Look, the situation with Lan Zhan is complicated. I couldn't just say “I want to stay in Gusu with you” because then he'd just say “Mn,” and let me stay whether that was for the best or even what he wanted. He's just too good, and that's the worst.

I don't want to cause problems for him or make him uncomfortable. I did enough of that in my first life without even knowing it. I don't want him to ever regret that I came back. So I can't just take advantage of him not being able to say no to me.

Which isn't to say you didn't have a point in between all of the insisting I am an idiot. Lan Zhan sometimes isn't very good at using his words. It's possible I might have misinterpreted his feelings on the situation.

So I sent him a message. That was overdue anyway. I probably should have sent him one when I first settled at Bujing Shi for this project. But I asked if he really was okay with my leaving for a while.

I'll guess we'll see.

As to your question for me, I think I do? But the fact you're asking it makes me think maybe I don't.

You're angry at me because I did it behind your back. I arranged to give you my golden core and didn't tell you. You're angry because that was something else that was done to you without your permission, even if this was something good for you.

You're angry because I couldn't be who you needed me to be afterwards, and I wouldn't tell you why. In hindsight, I probably should have told you after I came back from the Burial Mounds, or told you at least that I didn't have my core anymore, even if I let you think the same thing happened to me that happened to you instead of what really happened.

But I didn't want you comparing yourself to me anymore, the way Madam Yu always did. When I came back, I could see you were starting to come into your own, finding your footing, stepping into your role as sect leader like I always knew you could. I didn't want to ruin any of that, and I was afraid if I let on anything about the golden core situation it would.

I just wanted you to be everything I knew you could be. I never wanted to hurt you. I know I failed horribly at that. And you've every right to be mad at me about it.

Like you said at the temple, you have every right to hate me. I can't tell you how glad, how relieved it makes me that you don't.

That maybe we can fix the broken things between us.

And you're a horrible person for making me do this when I'm out where I am and can't drink.

I hate you.

(I don't.)

(Just the opposite.)

Wei Wuxian

****

Written on talisman paper that appeared in the shape of a glowing paper man wielding a comically oversized fan. It landed on the handle of Nie Huaisang's fan and waved enthusiastically at him:

Nie-xiong,

Since you were being clever and decided to shape your message talismans like an oriole and steal the idea I had for the shape of sending talismans to you, you only get my second best choice. It's nowhere near as clever or hilarious, but hopefully it's at least a little funny.

You wanted me to check in, so this is me checking in. Honestly, the reason I hadn't before now is that nothing has happened that was worth talking about. Nothing is still happening aside from me writing awkwardly emotional letters to various people.

Not to you though. I'm done with bearing my soul for a while. You, my friend, just get the facts and perhaps some witty banter.

I suppose I should thank you for letting Jiang Cheng in on your secrets – it has been getting progressively harder to talk around what I'm doing when I'm trying very hard to be open with him – but it would have been simpler if you waited until I was back in Bujing Shi. I'd told him I was off doing research, which was completely unalarming until he realized where I had to be doing that research.

Even I have to admit that 'I'm going to a saber tomb that has a tendency to eat people' sounds much more dangerous and exciting than 'I'm doing research', and Jiang Cheng reacted accordingly.

Jiang Cheng being Jiang Cheng, that means he threatened to break my legs if I got into trouble. Isn't that sweet?

I was going to tell you not to worry about him threatening you because blatant threats are signs of affection for Jiang Cheng, but you said he vaguely threatened you. Vague threats tend to be the ones he means, so he was probably serious. I'll talk to him about it. He shouldn't be threatening you over my actions anyway.

I wrote to Lan Zhan too and told him where I am and what I'm doing and that I'm doing it of my own volition because I want to help. Besides, he's too good to blame you for my decisions. You don't have to worry about him.

Not that anything is going to happen to me, so this is all a moot point anyway. I'm just going to go do some very boring tests in the saber tomb, and then I'll head back, and you can ply me with good food and wine while I bore you with all the details of the progress I will have made.

Wei Wuxian

****

Written on talisman paper that appeared in the shape of a glowing oriole swooping in through Jiang Cheng's bedroom window to land on his outstretched hand:

Jiang-xiong,

It is obvious that you have severely neglected refining your sense of humor. I am willing to offer my services in helping to rectify this lack. For selfish reasons, mind you. I want to look over at you during discussion conferences and know that you find whatever absurdity is going on as hilarious as I do.

How did things with Luo-guniang go? Well, I hope? You say you have no talent with talking people into doing what you want, but there are times and people with whom being blunt and direct works the best. I suspect Luo-guniang would be one of those cases, considering the circumstances under which she left the cultivation world.

I will be shocked if you did not succeed at gaining her assistance, but if for some reason that is the case, I will of course be honored to offer whatever thoughts and advice I can give. Such as it is. I fear you may, in realizing how much I have been playing the fool in recent years, be overestimating my capabilities in the other direction. I am far from infallible. But what skills I do have are at your disposal.

I knew I could trust you to keep my sect's secrets, but thank you for your promise proving so anyway. To answer some of the questions you had, my reluctance to practice with my saber was at first solely because it was hard and tiring, and I was very bad at it. Especially when you compared me to Da-ge. There was no way I was ever even going to be a hundredth of the fighter Da-ge was, so why even bother?

I was still very young when our father died. To say it had been a horrible death would be an understatement, and though I didn't at the time understand everything that had caused it, I knew it had been because of how close his bond with his saber was. I didn't make a conscious choice not to bond more than the bare minimum with mine, but in retrospect, I think my dislike for the weapon impaired the bonding process. It really is almost non-existent. Really, in some ways, I was almost as close with Baxia. Baxia, like Da-ge, was always very big in personality and impossible to ignore.

But I am a Nie, and I have a saber, however little I cultivate with it. Although the chances are admittedly slim, it is possible I will fall to the fate that has stalked all the Nie sect leaders before me. As you have observed, I have as much rage as any of my predecessors. I'm just better at covering it up.

With Wei-xiong working on the problem, I have high hopes that I won't have to worry about that fate for myself, or for any more of my people. He has proven remarkably good at solving the unsolvable.

And, after my focus for the last decade, it is... nice to be hopeful about anything again. It might even start a trend. I find myself surprisingly wanting to hope for a lot of things now.

I understand that my past actions have made me hard to trust. Of course you are wary of anything I say or do now. That is why I am trying to be as open as I can, even to the point of discomfort. It has been many years since I have had anyone look at me and see who I really am. You used to be one of the people who I thought knew me the best, you and Wei-xiong. I find I would very much like to be able to say that about you again.

Did nobody tell you about Jin Ling's misadventure in the saber tomb?

Nie Huaisang

****

Written on talisman paper that appeared in the shape of an oriole at the edge of an array guarding the entrance to a certain tomb in Qinghe:

Wei-xiong,

You underestimate yourself. Your paperman with a fan was indeed clever and amusing. And let's be real, the oriole is objectively more hilarious coming from me than you. If you are feeling less than satisfied with your choice though, might I suggest trying a shape that represents you and not who you're sending it to?

Checking in when you have nothing exciting to talk about is good. In fact, it is the second most preferred type of check in to receive. The first being of course that you have made an impossible breakthrough and solved all of the problems. Less desirable is that you are encountering problems, and explaining what shape and scale those problems take. But any kind of check in is preferable to none. That way when you do miss one, we know you are in trouble, and we need to send help without having to stop and make a judgment call over whether you're really in trouble or just really bored.

Really, has no one ever explained all this to you before? Actually, that would explain a lot, now that I think about it. I'm glad I can rectify this hole in your education, Wei-xiong.

I'm sorry if the timing of Jiang Cheng finding out my sect's most closely held secrets was inconvenient for you. But I didn't tell him to make your life easier.

Your brother is, on the whole, a very blunt and honest man, something that is a rarity in inter-sect politics, especially at the level we play at.

I am neither blunt nor honest and haven't been for many years. Sometimes I am unsure if I ever was. Just like you, Jiang-xiong now knows exactly how true this is. I would like to get back some semblance of the friendship we used to share, the three of us. But to do that with Jiang-xiong, I need for him to feel like he can trust me and for that to happen I have to be absolutely honest with him.

Which is to say, you are not the only one who has been writing awkward and emotional letters recently.

I appreciate your offer to intervene with Jiang-xiong about his threats to me over your well-being, but if you really want to help, a better method would be just to be careful and not take any unnecessary risks. If you don't get yourself into trouble and hurt, then there will be nothing to threaten me over anyway.

This method will also have the added benefit of meaning I don't have to worry about Hanguang-Jun either. As good the man might be – I will not argue with you about that – he would absolutely hold me responsible for any harm that befell you. I am not entirely certain how you failed to notice how very... focused he is when it comes to you.

I look forward to plying you as requested with good food and wine when you return and hearing about all the progress I'm sure you will have made. But that does not get you out of checking in during your 'boring' tests. Now that I have explained to you why such things are needed, I will take any lack to be the signal to send in reinforcements.

Nie Huaisang

****

Written on talisman paper that appeared in the shape of a glowing rabbit, next to a glowing oriole at the edge of an array guarding the entrance to a certain tomb in Qinghe:

Wei Ying,

Your messenger talisman is both clever and useful, as well as being aesthetically pleasing. I am keeping it with the other drawings and talismans you have given me.

You did not need to wait to perfect it before sending it to me. Anything Wei Ying chooses to share with me will be treasured. It does not need to be perfect. I do not need perfection from Wei Ying. I only need Wei Ying to be Wei Ying.

That goes for any stories and memories you wish to share with me as well. I will not get tired of listening to your voice no matter how long you talk. I have gone too many years without hearing your words, your laughter, to ever wish you silent again.

Say to me whatever you wish, I will always listen.

I have no doubts of your ability to not only survive but thrive on your own. That was not why I made sure you had money. It is merely a way for me to extend my support and aid to you when I am unable to be by your side.

I care for Wei Ying. You do not need to thank me for that.

Upon reflection, I am not surprised that Nie Huaisang sought you out for aid with the ongoing problem of saber cultivation and the saber tomb. It is the kind of thing you have shown yourself to be adept at solving, and Nie Huaisang has shown he is smart enough to know that.

I worry about possible ulterior motives, but if you say you feel he is being open with you, I will of course trust your judgment.

As I will trust your judgment of what you can handle safely during your research. I know you are more than capable of dealing with things if they go badly. But Wei Ying, may I ask that you try not to take unnecessary chances? The saber tomb is a serious issue, but it has been one for a very long time, and it is more or less contained for the time being. There is no need to sacrifice caution for speed while trying to solve it.

I am happy for you that you feel like you are rebuilding a relationship with Jiang Wanyin. I know what that must mean for you. But Jiang Wanyin should be informed that there will be no breaking of Wei Ying's legs or any other part of Wei Ying and threatening to do so will not be tolerated.

As for him calling us both idiots, he may in this one particular circumstance have a point.

I have always wanted for Wei Ying to have what Wei Ying has wanted for himself. My second most fervent wish is to have you by my side always, but it pales into insignificance next to my most fervent wish – that you be happy and free.

When you said you were leaving Gusu to wander the world, I had thought you were doing so because you were unhappy at Cloud Recesses, that you found the rules too stifling, the elders too judgmental. I agreed to your going because I will not hold you where you do not want to be. If Wei Ying wants to leave, then I will let him go, however much I might wish to keep him by my side.

But I have failed to make clear that Wei Ying should only leave if Wei Ying wants to leave. Your presence is never a bother. Far from being too much trouble, having you by my side makes everything I experience brighter, better. Every moment I spend with you is a gift. You bring life and laughter to an existence that has often had little of either.

You said that you might want a place to set down roots, somewhere that would keep you. Nothing would make me happier than to give you that, to be that for you.

My home is yours if you want it.

Just as I am yours.

Lan Zhan

****

Written on talisman paper that appeared in the shape of a glowing butterfly, next to a glowing rabbit, next to a glowing oriole at the edge of an array guarding the entrance to a certain tomb in Qinghe:

Wei Wuxian,

Really? That's what convinces you that I like you? Threatening to break your legs?

I am suddenly remembering how irritating it always was when you'd laugh it off when I got mad at you. I can't believe I've actually missed that. Your idiocy is obviously catching.

Things with Luo-guniang went well. While she isn't willing to commit to anything yet, she has agreed to come meet with Jin Ling and make her decision then. So at the very least, a-Ling will get a chance to hear stories about his father's youth from her even if he doesn't end up with a new advisor. I think he will though. She seemed like she wanted to be convinced and only needed to get a good lay of the land before making her decision.

Little Mianmian is as cute as you said, though I didn't see any pouts. The pouting apparently was all for you. Smart girl.

Do you even pay attention to your own words? You're not at the saber tomb to poke at anything, you say. And then in the next breath you say you're there to test how it reacts to ideas you've had. That, you fucking idiot, is the definition of poking at it!

I used to hate you getting distracted working on your inventions not because you were working on your inventions, but because you weren't paying attention to what was going on around you. Far too many times that would have blown up in both our faces if I hadn't snapped you out of it.

You got us into enough trouble even when you were paying attention.

Your situation with Lan Wangji is complicated by the two of you being idiots! I suppose I should give you some credit for actually realizing that he would do whatever you wanted, but if I did, I would take it right back when you concluded that means you never should ask him for anything, instead of wondering why he might do that.

But okay I give you a little bit of credit back for actually asking him. Finally. I guess we will see. Depending on how he answers will determine who is the bigger idiot – you or Lan Wangji.

You're right. I am furious that you came up with the plan and went through with giving me your golden core without talking to me about it. Something that big, that invasive, that life-changing, there's no excuse for not letting me make my own decisions about it.

Obviously, you were afraid of what I'd decide if you had given me the choice. The thing that haunts me the most is I don't know if you were afraid I'd say no, or that I'd say yes.

You said that this was just what you owed the Jiang. I hate that my mother would have agreed. I hate that she made you think that. I hate that, in the end, so did my father. For all that he treated you as his favorite, his last words to you were only of duty, of what was owed. I hate that you might, for a second, think I agree with them.

(I hate that I have nightmares in which you do offer me the choice, and I say yes.)

You're right that I'm angry that you couldn't be who you promised me you'd be, and you wouldn't tell me why. But it's mostly the second. I was angry you weren't living up to your promise because I didn't know. It looked- I thought- It seemed like you didn't care, that you were ignoring your sect duties and responsibilities, not doing what I asked or being there when I needed you because you couldn't be bothered. That me, the sect, our family, meant so little that you put more import into getting drunk in town.

I didn't know that what I was asking you to do was impossible for you. That every time we got into a fight about it, I was pouring salt into a fucking open wound. And you fucking let me!

I'm angry because you broke your promise that we'd be the twin prides of Yunmeng. You didn't treat me like your equal. You should have told me. Yes, I would have been angry, but I would have got over it, and then we could have approached things and made plans as the partners you always said we would be.

It would have been bad, yes, but not half as horrible as it was finding out when I did. After everything that happened, everything that I did, everything that I thought and felt about you that was wrong.

I'm angry that you put both of us through so much pain and grief that we might have avoided if you hadn’t thought I was too weak to handle the truth.

Giving me your golden core without telling me was wrong. But it's knowing you'd rather I hate you than tell me after the fact that makes it worse.

I don't hate you, Wei Wuxian. I never have, even when I wanted to, when I probably should have. Just the opposite. But if you ever keep a secret like that from me again, we will have a fight like none of the fights we've had before. And I will kick your ass from here to Gusu and back.

And now I am going to go have a drink because, unlike some people, I'm not an idiot who is poking a man-eating tomb for fun and therefore have access to alcohol.

Jiang Cheng

****

Written on talisman paper that appeared in the shape of a glowing butterfly that flew erratically through Nie Huaisang's open window in the early morning, attempted to land on his outstretched finger, missed and ended up tumbled in a heap in his lap instead:

Huaisang,

I should warn you that I am very drunk. I wrote to Wei Wuxian right after the evening meal and started drinking immediately after. I'm not certain exactly how long ago that was, but since the sky seems to be getting lighter in the east when I look out the window, it is definitely longer than it should have been.

In order to give my golden core a fighting chance at having me functional by the time I need to be, I am distracting myself from having another drink by writing to you instead.

Lucky you.

Don 't expect any of this to be deep or profound or heartfelt. I used up all of that writing Wei Wuxian. No one else can make me simultaneously want to strangle him and cry and wrap him in blankets and forcefeed him soup until he makes better choices. Not that he ever better find out about the blankets and soup part. He'd be even more unbearable if he knew. He already was gushing all over me because I threatened to break his legs. I don't want to know how bad he'd get if he ever found out I thought something nice about him.

And let's face it, I'd probably end up strangling him with the blankets sooner than later anyway.

Ugh, I don't want to talk about Wei Wuxian. That's why I was drinking in the first place. It's just like him, isn't it? I don't want to talk about him and then find myself ranting about him anyway. He's always taking the spotlight, even when he's only in my fucking head.

I have a perfectly serviceable sense of humor. You're just not as funny as you think you are. And the sharing of silent, knowing looks at conferences when something absurd happens might sound like a good idea, but what would really happen is that eventually one or both of us would lose it and burst out laughing and cause some kind of diplomatic incident.

Chances are it would probably be me.

But maybe we could get together afterwards and discuss the newest rounds of absurdities in private. Even if there's nothing that's objectively funny, it would be nice to have someone to discuss the craziness with who I didn't have to constantly have my guard up around.

Things with Luo-guniang went well. She didn't agree outright to take the position, but she did agree to come meet with a-Ling, so I have hopes that it's just a matter of time. If not, I will gladly take you up on your offer of future aid and advice.

And after everything, Huaisang, I'm never going to fucking believe you again when you try to insist you are anything less than frighteningly competent. You have no one to blame for that other than yourself.

This is going to be incredibly impolite, but I'm too fucking drunk to care, so I'm just going to say it: the Nie Saber Cultivation method fucking sucks. Sure, being that connected to one's spiritual weapon seems all well and good, and you are terrifyingly good on a battlefield, but the fact that, when working as intended, it will eventually kill you is the kind of huge fucking drawback that makes sane people think that maybe this isn't the best idea, and you should come up with something else!

Whatever the reasons why, I am glad that you partook as little as you have in that collective insanity if it means you're far less likely to have that fate befall you. And I'm glad you're getting Wei Wuxian to help you with the whole thing. If anyone can figure out how to fix things so your cultivation method isn't actively trying to kill you, it's him. He sucks when he's doing it for himself, but he's really good at that sort of thing as long as he's doing it for other people.

As for the trust thing, I know I should be wary. I should be suspicious of everything you say and do, but fuck, Huaisang. After everything that's happened, and everything I have to deal with now, I have better things to spend my energy on.

The truth is I can see the difference in you now versus how you've been for the last decade. I look at you now, and I see the Nie Huaisang who was my friend back when we were kids. I haven't seen that person since before your brother died.

Which I guess means that somewhere in the back of my brain I knew that wasn't the real you all these years. But you were good enough at playing the role that I accepted it regardless.

Still, it feels like I can see the difference now. Maybe it's all in my head, or maybe it's just because you're letting me now, but I can see the difference and recognise who it is I'm seeing.

Which is to say that, whether I should or not, I do trust you.

Just don't make me regret it, okay?

Okay, going to try and get a few hours of sleep before I need to be up and a responsible sect leader instead of the drunken mess I am now.

Drawing the talisman when I'm this drunk should be an adventure.

Jiang Cheng

Wait – I can't believe I almost forgot – No, nobody fucking told me about Jin Ling's 'misadventure in the saber tomb'. Would you care to rectify that?

****

Written on talisman paper that appeared in the shape of a glowing oriole that swooped in Jiang Cheng's open window several days later and gracefully landed on the rim of his glass:

Jiang-xiong,

I trust you have recovered from your night of indulgence. I have had a few of those myself these past few months, the responsibility of which could also be laid at Wei-xiong's feet. Though in my case it was because he was drinking with me, not just driving me to it.

At least these days we don't have to worry about getting caught and having to face Lan Qiren's punishment. It's rather freeing to realize that all I have to worry about in the morning after is suffering from a hangover.

I'd almost forgotten just how miserable those could be; it had been so long since I had let my guard down enough to imbibe to that extent. (I know I often seemed drunk at conferences and other public events, but that was always an act. I didn't dare dull my wits when dealing with San-ge, not without risking giving the entire game away.)

I look forward to a future where you and I are in the same place, be it for politics, family, or just pleasure, and have a chance to reenact those nights of our youth at Cloud Recesses.

I'm glad to hear things went so well with Luo-guniang. I'm sure once she meets Jin Ling she will be convinced to help him. I suspect he will be his own best advocate in this case. But the offer of my assistance remains open should it be needed.

I'm “frighteningly competent”? Considering I have spent most of my life doing my utmost to be seen as harmless if not outright useless, the fact you consider me so just proves that, in this one thing at least, I am not as competent as I need to be.

Really, Jiang-xiong, if you have any idea how much panic and scrambling I have had to do behind the scenes to maintain the illusion while also getting things done, you would not still be thinking of me as some kind of mastermind.

It... is rather freeing to actually admit that. Wei-xiong and I have talked about some things, but not how much in over my head I felt during so much of it.

You are not the first person to express such opinions about the Nie saber cultivation technique. I remember yelling at my brother much the same thing when I first found out about it all, if maybe slightly more politely.

Slightly.

But as much as it has damaged individual Nie, it has kept our sect strong. My ancestors thought the trade-off was worth it and even now I do not know if the sect would survive stepping away from it entirely. Still, my most fervent wish now is that we find a way to modify it, make it less dangerous to those cultivating it without stripping them of its strength. Wei-xiong does seem hopeful it can be done.

I can't tell you how much it means to me that you can still see who I used to be when you look at me. There are times, especially when I'm alone and it's late at night, that I have problems seeing that when I look at myself. With how long I've had to wear a mask and pretend, not just to others but to myself, there is a lingering fear that the masks are all that I have left. That the real me is forever lost under the false.

Your words are more reassuring than you would expect, that I'm still here, underneath it all.

Believe me, I will do my best to treat your trust like the precious thing it is.

Which is why, however much I might wish to answer your question about Jin Ling's misadventures with a ‘no, I don't want to rectify your lack of knowledge’, I will tell you what I know.

It wasn't that long ago, really. Just a little bit after Wei-xiong came back. Jin Ling had apparently heard the rumors about the tomb that I spread to keep people away. He made his way through the defenses meant to keep out those who the rumors didn't keep away, and then used explosives to blow a hole in the side of the tomb.

Which, as you would imagine, activated the tomb's defenses and ended up with him being stuck in the wall to replace the bodies he’d destroyed. Wei-xiong and Hanguang-Jun happened along almost immediately after and got him out, so no lasting harm was done.

Really? No one mentioned any of this to you?

I should close this letter now as there are some things that require my attention. Things that in no way make me curious if you've perhaps heard from Wei-xiong since you last wrote?

Don't worry, I'm sure it's nothing. But I will be going to check up on him just in case.

Nie Huaisang

****

Written on talisman paper that appeared in the haphazard form of a glowing butterfly that landed on Nie Huaisang's hand which was holding the reins of the horse he was riding:

Huaisang,

What the fuck do you mean have I heard from Wei Wuxian? Are you telling me he's gone missing? If you don't answer me immediately, I am going to come to Qinghe and check for myself.

Jiang Cheng

****

Written on talisman paper that appeared in the shape of a glowing oriole that flew in through the window of Jiang Cheng's office where he was pacing angrily and landed on his quickly outstretched hand:

Jiang-xiong,

Wei Wuxian hasn't gone missing exactly. It's just been a significant amount of time since he last reported back to me. I was asking because he may be more motivated in talking to you than me at the moment and needed to check.

I'm not alarmed per se, just concerned. None of the alarms on the tomb that should alert me if the defenses are activated have gone off, so there's that at least.

Regardless, I am currently heading to the tomb to check on it and Wei Wuxian in person, along with a number of very capable Nie cultivators, in case something actually is wrong. I should be there by nightfall.

I will let you know what I find as soon as I find it.

Nie Huaisang

****

Written on talisman paper that appeared in the form of a small glowing man wielding a whip next to a glowing butterfly, next to a glowing rabbit, next to a glowing oriole at the edge of an array guarding the entrance to a certain tomb in Qinghe:

Wei Wuxian,

You poked the damned man-eating tomb didn't you? You better be okay or so help me I will drag you out of whatever trouble you've gotten yourself into, and then I will break every fucking bone in your body.

If I don't hear from you or Nie Huaisang by the end of the day, I am heading to Qinghe, and I will not be fucking happy about it.

You don't get to die on me again just when we were starting to fix things.

Jiang Cheng

****

Written on talisman paper that appeared in the shape of an oriole that landed on top of the pile of things Jiang Cheng was gathering for the journey to Qinghe:

Jiang-xiong,

He's fine.

He hadn't contacted anybody because the message talismans had been blocked by his wards, and he was so caught up in his work that he didn't stop for a moment to think it odd that no one had contacted him in a while.

I told him to write to you immediately.

I was able to get him to agree to come back to Bujing Shi with me now, more so because I believe he's finished what he was here to test than any actual convincing I did, but I will take it regardless.

Rest assured he is going to remain within my sight, or the sight of my most trusted people, for the immediate future.

Nie Huaisang

****

Written on talisman paper that appeared in the shape of a glowing frog that hopped into Jiang Cheng's outstretched hand, somehow managing to do so sheepishly:

Jiang Cheng,

I'm alive! I'm fine!

Sorry, sorry, I didn't realize the new wards I invented to contain resentful energy also are very good at blocking message talismans. So all the messages you and Nie-xiong and Lan Zhan sent were all just sitting outside the tomb waiting until I broke the ward.

Then I got positively swarmed – so many messages all at once! It took a few minutes to sort it all out and calm everything down.

And then Nie-xiong yelled at me, and now I'm writing to you. (I was going to do that right away anyway. I didn't need Nie-xiong to yell at me. But just so you know, he was very very adamant I do so.)

And Jiang Cheng! You made a talisman that wasn't a butterfly! A tiny angry paper Jiang Cheng with a tiny Zidian! It was so cute! I sent Nie-xiong a paperman with a fan once, he told me he's keeping it. I am totally going to keep tiny, angry paper Jiang Cheng. Maybe I'll even make a tiny paper Wei Wuxian with a tiny paper Chenqing to keep him company!

Let it be known that I did not poke the man-eating saber tomb. Well, at least not in the way you mean it. I suppose what I did do could in a certain light be considered poking, but it was very strategic, well-thought out poking.

And it worked! I now have, at the very least, a method to replace all the bodies in the walls in the current system with one small, much less dangerous or conspicuous amulet. And, if the rest of my theories bear out, also the first step in fixing the entire dangerous saber problem entirely.

I'll need to do more testing for that, but all that can be done at Bujing Shi. It might be tricky, not because what is needed is inherently so, but because it is far too close to the method Jin Guangyao used to murder Chifeng-zun. Nie-xiong may be understandably twitchy about it.

There is no one who is more good and honorable than Lan Zhan, and he's also one of the most skilled at the musical cultivation techniques needed so if Nie-xiong will trust anyone...

I need to talk to Nie-xiong about that first because I'm not about to just spring that on him without any warning, that sounds like a very bad idea. And if I absolutely have to, I am certain I can manage the next steps on my own. But they will take longer and might not be as effective. Ideally I really do need Lan Zhan for them.

And... I need Lan Zhan for other things.

One of the other messages waiting for me was from him. You were right. What he thought I meant and what I thought he meant wasn't what either of us had actually meant. I probably will be going back to Gusu sooner than I had originally planned, but I can't before I finish what I'm doing here for Nie-xiong, so Lan Zhan is just going to have to come to me

Because he will if I ask him to. Because he wants to do things for me because he likes it, not because he thinks he should or because he thinks he didn't do enough in the past.

So yes, we were both being idiots, and you pointing that out was actually very helpful. You're allowed to be smug about that exactly one paragraph, and then it will become insufferable, and I will have to retaliate accordingly.

By the way, I was told that you should be informed “that there will be no breaking of Wei Ying's legs or any other part of Wei Ying and threatening to do so will not be tolerated.” So I guess you're going to have to come up with some new threats to use on me by order of the Chief Cultivator.

As for the rest of what you wrote, I had never looked at it that way, but you're right. By not telling you, I was still making decisions for you even beyond that one big decision. I guess I was just so focused on how angry and hurt you would be if you did find out, that I didn't think about the hurt not telling you was causing.

I don't regret giving you my golden core, I'll never regret that because look what you did with it, but it did hurt. It hurt a lot. And it never really stopped hurting until I died. The kind of hurt that makes you stop making the most rational decisions about not talking about it because ignoring your problems always makes them go away right?

You already know I am an idiot. I can only apologize for being an idiot about this.

(And of course I didn't tell you before I did it because I knew you would have said no. I never have thought you would have said yes. You would never have asked that of me. So stop worrying about that.)

Can we try again in this life? To be what we should have been in the last one? Maybe not the Twin Prides of Yumeng, the time for that may be gone, but to be equals like you wanted?

Brothers even maybe?

Or whatever you feel comfortable with. I don't want to make any decisions for you. Not any more.

But I would like that. If you did

Wei Wuxian

****

Written on talisman paper that appeared in the shape of a glowing bunny sitting in the strings of Lan Wangji's guqin while he was playing:

Lan Zhan!

Someone should have told me how dangerous your correspondence is. My poor heart can't take all of your eloquence and sweetness! When we see each other in person, I insist that you warn me before saying such things, lest I expire from your sweet words.

You keep all my drawings and talismans? How did I not know this? Do you still have that drawing I did of you in the library? I always thought you destroyed it like you did the spring book, but now I'm wondering. Wait, is that why you just happened to have one of my old distraction talismans on you when we were traveling? Do you just carry around all my old papers with you? I should make you turn out your qiankun bag the next time we meet. It's obvious there is far more in there than I thought.

Now that I know that you like them, I will have to gift you with many more drawings. There's often things about which I think 'I wish I could show Lan Zhan this' when we're not together. I will draw them all so that you can know of every moment that I was thinking about you.

Wei Ying cares for Lan Zhan too. In case that was ever in doubt. I care for you so much, Lan Zhan. There aren't enough words to express how much, though I am willing to keep trying to find them. I might just have to invent some new ones!

I have dutifully passed on your message to Jiang Cheng about breaking my legs not being allowed, though don't get too mad if he doesn't heed it. He doesn't actually mean it when he says it, Jiang Cheng just expresses affection very angrily. I know what he really means.

He's probably feeling very smug right now anyway. I had to admit that he was right, and I was wrong twice in my last letter to him. Which was humbling, but that's okay. Because one of those times looks like it is going to lead to me getting my brother back, and the other was about the two of us both being idiots. Which we demonstrably were.

But hopefully we won't be any more. We just both need to remember to ask if what the other wants what we think he wants because we are both demonstrably really bad at guessing that! I have hope that we will get better at it in time, but until then we ask.

(For the record, I was never unhappy when I was at your side.)

Though maybe just this once something good came out of us misunderstanding each other. I don't think Nie-xiong would have approached me about helping out with the saber problem if I had still been in Gusu, and I've made a lot of progress towards solving it.

I think I can see a way to not only make the masterless sabers safe, but also help alleviate the worst of the side effects of saber cultivation. But to do so, I'm going to need your help.

Or, I suppose, any Lan that is knowledgeable in musical cultivation, but given what we'll be dealing with, I don't think Nie-xiong would be comfortable with anyone else.

You see, I need someone to use Clarity in concert with what I've already put together, and I'm sure Nie-xiong will be understandably twitchy at anybody playing that around him and his, especially related to fixing this problem.

I think he will bring himself to trust you and me to do this, but I doubt he would be able to anyone else. And even with us, I plan to lay out everything for him in detail and show him exactly what we will be doing so he can make sure we do as we say we are.

So I need to ask you to do me the great favor of coming to Bujing Shi at your earliest convenience so we can do this before Nie-xiong has time to get too twitchy about it.

But I'm not asking you to come here just to help with my work. I have other, more selfish reasons as well. You said so many sweet things that pierced me to the bottom of my heart, and I have many things I need to say back to you.

It's nothing bad, far from it. Everything I need to tell you is very, very good. But not in a letter. The things I need to tell you are things you deserve to have me say to your face. And, selfishly, I want to see your face when I say them.

So please come as fast as you can, Lan Zhan.

I will be waiting.

Wei Ying

****

Written on talisman paper that appeared as a glowing rabbit on Wei Wuxian's chest in the early morning. Wei Wuxian only discovered it when he woke up at a non-Lan definition of morning:

Wei Ying,

I will require the day to make arrangements for my absence from Gusu. Once that is done, I will leave for Qinghe with all due speed.

I do not want to overly strain your heart, so consider this your warning that I will describe the many nice things Wei Ying makes me feel when I see him.

Lan Zhan

****

Written on talisman paper in the shape of a tiny, glowing paper man with a tiny whip that appeared on Wei Wuxian's table, and paced impatiently until Wei Wuxian looked up from his work and noticed it:

Wei Wuxian,

You are a moron.

I will never understand how someone can be so smart at the same time they're being so stupid. Did it never occur to you that something was wrong when you didn't hear from anyone? There are people who fucking care about you, you idiot; if you aren't receiving messages at all for as long as you were out of touch this time, that's a sign that something's wrong! We're not all just going to change our minds and stop writing all at once. Even if you do something even stupider than poking a man-eating saber tomb.

I was half a shichen away from getting on my sword and flying to Qinghe myself when I got Huaisang's message that you were alright, aside from being an idiot.

Don't do it again.

If you do, I will get on my sword and fly there, and you'll have the real life version of an angry Jiang Cheng with Zidian instead of just a paper version, and you won't find that nearly as cute.

(Which the paperman wasn't, by the way. Cute, I mean. It was angry and threatening. It certainly doesn't need company. Although... a paper Wei Wuxian to go with him would be... symmetrical. Two are always more balanced than one.)

I am glad that all that poking things that shouldn't be poked has yielded results. You always have been good at figuring out how to do the impossible. Which is good news for Huaisang and his people, even if it might invoke bad memories for him. If he could manage to do what he did in the last ten years, he has the strength to deal with bad memories no matter how traumatic, especially if it will benefit his people.

But it's good that you're being sensitive to it and not running roughshod over his feelings in your pursuit of a solution.

I am also glad to hear that you and Lan Wangji have ceased to be quite so idiotic about each other. Try to keep that up.

Speaking of Lan Wangji being an idiot, you can inform him that he may be the Chief Cultivator, but he doesn't get to dictate how you and I talk to each other. He obviously doesn't understand how we communicate, and that's fine as long as he keeps his nose out of it.

The only thing that matters is that you and I understand each other, and I'm pretty sure we're doing that more now than we have since before the war.

Though if the way I'm talking to you ever gets to be too much, if I go too far, just tell me. I'm not unreasonable. I can change if you need me to. If you ask. You. Not Hanguang-Jun.

If we're going to be brothers again, we need to make an effort to make sure we are understanding each other. We don't have a-Jie any more to intervene for us. Your Lan Wangji is not an acceptable substitute.

And stop flinching. That wasn't an accusation.

I remember what it felt like, not having a golden core. Not making rational decisions because of how much that hurts is the most understandable reason you've given for keeping it all a big secret. Granted you took that to extremes because you're you, and you take everything to extremes, but I can understand you wanting to ignore it because paying attention hurt too much.

Yes, you're an idiot, but I should be used to that by now. I think I can leave this particular idiocy in the past now, like you wanted.

But there's one thing I should tell you before we do.

I almost decided not to tell you, but after yelling at you for keeping secrets, it would be hypocritical for me to keep this from you. So here goes.

The Wen didn't catch me because I went back for my parents' bodies. I'd gone outside to get some air, and I saw you down the street buying food. And I saw the Wen soldiers coming down the street towards you. They were going to spot you and catch you, and if they did that, they would kill you, so I did the only thing I could think of to save you. I stepped out into the street and let them see me, catch me instead.

You're not the only one who did stupidly suicidal things to protect your brother. I guess I'm just as much of an idiot as you are.

I don't know everything we're going to be to each other in this life, and I don't think you do either. But I do know one thing we've always been is brothers.

I'd like to see what that can look like now that neither of us is hiding things from the other. I bet we can be fucking amazing.

Jiang Cheng

****

Written on talisman paper that appeared in the shape of a glowing butterfly that flew in a window and landed on the edge of Nie Huaisang's fan:

Huaisang,

Thank you for both keeping me informed of what was happening with Wei Wuxian and for prevailing on him to write to me himself as soon as possible. And for putting up with him in general. No one knows better than me just what an ordeal that is.

He's just lucky that he's worth it even with how fucking annoying he is.

While I had full intention of making the trip to Qinghe if Wei Wuxian had managed to get himself into trouble, I have to admit the timing would have been awkward. Aside from just the normal issues that a sect leader has to deal with, there's also Luo-guniang's visit to Jinlintai to meet Jin Ling happening. I know I don't necessarily have to be there – and I was prepared to miss it if Wei Wuxian had needed rescuing (both Luo-guniang and a-Ling have met him, so they wouldn't have been surprised) – it will make me feel better if I am there. Just to make sure things go well.

I will be heading off to Lanling for that as soon as I finish writing this actually. I will let you know how it goes so you can either bask in the success of your idea or give me another one to try.

There is one thing I do regret about not having to come to Qinghe and pull Wei Wuxian out of the fire though, and that's not having a chance to see you. I would have liked to sit and have a drink with you, like we used to when we were young and stupid. It's been years since...

Ah, it doesn't matter. Just because it's not happening now doesn't mean we can't do it in the future. At the next discussion conference like we talked about, if not before that.

That might actually make me look forward to going to one for a change.

Probably for the best right now anyway; I hear you're already going to be hosting the Chief Cultivator for a while, and Hanguang-Jun and me being in the same place is always... awkward at best.

Did you know he tried to tell me how I am and am not allowed to talk to Wei Wuxian? And used Wei Wuxian to relay that fact because far be it for him to fucking lower himself to speak to me directly even to threaten me. If Wei Wuxian understands what I mean when I say I'm going to break his legs for worrying me and isn't upset about it, that should be good enough for the esteemed Hanguang-Jun. He's never understood my brother's and my relationship and how we work, and he thinks that should be my problem.

Really, he has no room to talk. Which he never does! As if silent staring and occasionally saying “Wei Ying” is the height of proper communication. That's how we ended up with Wei Wuxian running around thinking he was doing Lan Wangji a favor by staying away. Which he still would be thinking if I hadn’t told him to just fucking ask since Lan Wangji can't fucking volunteer information. Lan Wangji should be damned grateful about how I'm talking to Wei Wuxian, or Wei Wuxian wouldn't be talking to him at all right now.

Fuck, sorry. My problems with the great Hanguang Jun are just that – my problems. Didn't mean to rant at you like that. And really, I'd probably have less problems with him if he didn't insist on having problems with me. If Wei Wuxian and I are moving past our differences, he's just going to have to do so too, at least if he cares about Wei Wuxian's happiness. Just as I need to do the same thing with Lan Wangji because he and Wei Wuxian genuinely care for each other, and having Lan Wangji and me snipe at each other all the time would just lead to Wei Wuxian tying himself in knots trying to figure out how that's his fault.

You have my sympathies for having to deal with the two of them together by the way. From what Wei Wuxian said in his last message, it sounds like they have worked out the worst of their misunderstandings, which probably means you're being treated to the two of them being absolutely shameless. I mean they were terrible back when we were young and they didn't seem to realize that they both liked each other; I can only imagine how much worse they will be now that they know that and have even less concern about their reputation than they had back then.

Wei Wuxian told me the other reason he asked Lan Wangji to come to Bujing Shi as well. I have hopes that he has actually come up with a solution to your clan's problem, and I'm sure you hope so as well.

But he told me that his solution involves using the same music that Jin Guangyao fucked with to kill your brother, and I can only imagine how that makes you feel. I know you know that they would never do anything like that – Hanguang Jun is far too righteous, and Wei Wuxian too straightforward (He only does shifty secretive things when he thinks he's helping, and I think he's finally got it through his thick skull that it's bad then too.) – but it still can't be easy to deal with.

I don't really know what I can say or do to make it better, but I'm here to listen if you need someone to talk to about it. Or anything else I can do to help.

I guess I just want to say that while you spent ten years avenging your brother alone, you don't need to deal with this aftermath alone. Not anymore.

You've got friends who will help.

You've got me.

Jiang Cheng

****

Written on talisman paper that appeared in the shape of a glowing oriole that Jiang Cheng found perched beside his bed when he woke up in the morning:

Jiang-xiong,

You surprise me. In a good way, I promise. You’re making it very hard to hold onto a cynical view of the universe.

While I would never wish anything bad to happen, part of me does think it is a shame that Wei-xiong had not stayed out of contact long enough to give you an excuse to come here. Not so you could yell at your brother in person, although that was always entertaining when we were young. (Mostly because I wasn't the one getting yelled at!) But I would have dearly liked to sit and have that drink with you.

Yes, I know we will do so at the next discussion conference if not before, and it will be worth the wait, but sometimes even I get tired of being patient.

But of course duty must come before pleasure, especially when it comes to safeguarding sect and family. (And if you had told me when we were young I would ever say that, I would have hit you with my fan and called you a liar. I was such a brat.)

Since I have heard that Jin-zongzhu has a new advisor, it sounds like things did go well with his meeting with Luo-guniang. You'll have to give me the details over that drink we will eventually have. What I have heard about is certain older Jin members being shocked and appalled at Luo-guniang's return and that Jin Ling shut them down by suggesting asking his dajiu to be his advisor instead if she wasn't suitable, and I very much would like to hear about it from a first hand witness. It sounds amazing. Jin Ling does seem to be settling into his new position remarkably, and I'm happy to see it.

You are correct that Bujing Shi is currently playing host to our Chief Cultivator, although there has been very little official happening.

This is because, as you assumed, a great deal of Hanguang-Jun's attention is being focused on Wei-xiong, just as a great deal of Wei-xiong's attention is being focused on Hanguang-Jun. It is indeed very much like when we were all at the lectures at Cloud Recesses when we were young, except now they are both very much aware of why they're so focused on each other.

You would definitely say they're worse now than they were back then because they are exactly as shameless as you think they are, which is to say completely. I actually find it rather sweet although I have taken to making my presence unmistakable before walking into any room they're in together. That, and some offhand comments about taking inspiration for paintings to replace the spring book they destroyed all those years ago seem to be enough to keep me from seeing anything truly distressing.

As for your... personal issues with Hanguang-Jun, no one is more stubbornly protective than a Lan in love. It's part of the reason why they have so many rules after all. In this situation, considering Wei-xiong's propensity for getting himself into trouble, Hanguang-Jun's protective instincts are probably a good thing, although I understand how annoying his attitude towards you must be.

I do think that will improve as your relationship with Wei-xiong does, when Hanguang-Jun sees how much that means to him and how good it is for him to have you back. And how much having him back means to you as well. I don't know if he will be gracious about it, but I do think he will come to the same conclusion that you have – that Wei-xiong will be unhappy if you and Hanguang-Jun continue to fight.

So things should get better on that front.

Eventually.

In the meantime, if you need to yell about how annoying Hanguang-Jun's everything is, I will always be willing to listen without judgment. Or, at least, without judgment about you. I will be as judgmental as you wish about Hanguang-Jun and feel honored to be trusted with your feelings.

As for Wei-xiong's possible solution to the drawbacks of saber cultivation, you are correct that my feelings are very unsettled. I am, of course, pleased that there may be a solution and that we may no longer lose good Nie cultivators to rage and qi deviation.

But at the same time, the echoes of the past are almost deafening. Da-ge was presented with this piece of musical cultivation and told it would help by someone he trusted – as was I. In Da-ge’s case, only for it to do the exact opposite.

I don't actually think Wei-xiong and Hanguang-Jun would ever do something like Jin Guangyao did, but there was a time I would have said the same about him. They are my friends, but I thought Jin Guangyao was my friend as well.

My heart now finds it hard to trust even when my head says I should.

Luckily, as you wrote, I am no longer in a position where I have to deal with these things alone. I do have friends even if my heart sometimes doubts, friends that will do what they can to make this as different from the past as it could be.

Wei-xiong has laid out every piece of what he's put together in excruciating detail, and Hanguang-Jun has provided copies of the proper pieces of music from the Lan library, so I can have a reference that that is what actually is being played. Hanguang-Jun has promised to play only what we have agreed to beforehand, and Wei-xiong said if I still didn't feel comfortable letting them try it, then he'd put this idea aside and try to come up with something else. Which, really. He solves an unsolvable problem and is willing to toss that solution aside and find another one just because I am uncomfortable. He's a ridiculous person.

And then you write to me and offer to help even though you don't know how and somehow that act alone does help. Just having my feelings acknowledged helps. Thank you.

You said I have you. I will hold you to that.

I have a fondness for grumpy, blunt people with big hearts who surprise me, you see.

Perhaps we can discuss that over drinks as well the next time we see each other?

Nie Huaisang

****

Written on talisman paper in the shape of a glowing paperman holding a little paper dizi that appeared on Jiang Cheng's shoulder and tugged on his ear for his attention:

Jiang Cheng,

Your last letter gave me a lot to feel about (it's like thinking about but with less logic and more tears), and I have things to say about it, but I need to work up to it. So I'm going to talk about other things first. But I heard you, and I'm not ignoring it, I promise.

It didn't actually occur to me that not receiving any messages meant something was wrong. I guess I have gotten so used to being on my own that I didn't find it weird when no one was checking up on me. Even back in the day, people checked up on me because they wanted to make sure I wasn't causing trouble much more than making sure I wasn't in trouble. Or at least that's what it felt like.

You can stop scowling at the paper, I realize I may have been missing important emotional cues for a very long time. I'll try to do better in the future.

I'm sure if I don't you will show up with Zidian sparking everywhere, threatening to break my legs for being an idiot. You're wrong though about me not finding it cute.

Or maybe not cute exactly. But knowing you're angry at me because you're worried about me warms my heart and makes me smile, so it elicits the same reaction, and that's just as good as being cute.

(And I hope this paperman Wei Wuxian lives up to your expectations. Don't want paperman Jiang Cheng to be lonely!)

Progress with the saber issue is going well. Things so far have been working like I hoped they would, but this is just the beginning. At the very least it does seem to make a big difference in calming the sabers whose wielders have died so it should make the tomb far less dangerous when people go poking where they shouldn't.

There are a lot more variables involved when we're talking about a saber and cultivator team, so I don't know how effective my method will be long term in its current form, but in the short term at least it does seem to help. I'm confident that we'll be able to tweak things as needed, it's just going to take time.

Nie-xiong was indeed twitchy about it all at first, but now that he's seen the results he's very enthusiastic about it. He thanked Lan Zhan and me for what we've done and how we approached it and said he was going to thank you too, that you writing to him about it and vouching for me helped with the twitchiness.

I didn't know you and Nie-xiong were that close – but it's good that you are! And I'm touched that you spoke for me. Really, after everything that has happened, I would have understood if you were just as twitchy about me trying things at Nie-xiong was. It means something that you weren't, even if you've been yelling at me for days about poking things that shouldn't be poked.

Speaking of poking things, you'll be happy to know that Lan Zhan and I are definitely not being idiots anymore. We talked. And then we more than talked. Things are good now between us. So very, very good. More than good. Amazing even.

We... well, let's just say we're communicating in all sorts of new and fun ways. And really, he's just as shameless as I am – maybe even more! – but no one expects that because he's all, y’know, him. It's been a joy and an adventure discovering all the ways he is, and I can already imagine the face you're making so I promise I won't go into any more details about it.

I did relay your message to Lan Zhan, but – and I told Lan Zhan this as well – I think that's going to be the last message I relay between the two of you. If you two want to have some weird territorial fight over me, you can do that without using me as the go-between. It's getting too weird.

You both mean a lot to me, and I'm not about to take sides. So you can bicker with each other all you want, but leave me out of it. Wei Wuxian is neutral territory.

You don't have to change how you talk to me though. You're right in that we understand what each other really means. Most of the time.

And I think we both have recognized that, when we don't, the best thing we can do is ask for clarification. Maybe, if things ever feel like they're out of control and getting bad, we can have a word or phrase to make us stop and take a step back like shijie used to make us? I was thinking something like 'soup time'.

Maybe neither of us is shijie, but we both can try to be a little bit more like her when we deal with each other.

Okay, I think I can talk about the thing now.

It's probably a good thing you told me this way because if you told me in person, I probably would have yelled at you. As it is, I did rant at length, some of it at a sustained volume probably for longer than I should have. (I already had silencing talismans up, so at least the only person who heard me do so was Lan Zhan, and I don't think Lan Zhan finds anything I do embarrassing anymore.)

But I gradually realized the things I was saying were sounding very familiar and that the reason why was that they were the same things that people keep telling me when I, as you put it, do stupidly suicidal things to protect those I care about.

And that made me think. If I had been in your shoes, and you in mine on that street, I would have done the exact same thing. Because I would have rather died than see them get you. And I realized that you felt for me the same things I felt for you.

That you cared for me the same way I cared for you.

That shouldn't have been such a revelation, I know. It was always the three of us growing up, you, me and shijie, and I knew you both cared for me. I just... I think somewhere in the back of my brain I thought it was different? I thought that if any sacrifices needed to be made, that it naturally should be me because I wasn't as important as the two of you.

Knowing you did something as stupidly, bravely suicidal as that just to save me, I think whatever part of my brain used to think that, it doesn't any more. Also, it really sucks knowing someone I care about got hurt on my behalf so maybe we all should strive to protect each other without getting hurt ourselves in the future?

But mostly all these revelations make me want to see my shidi in person to talk about what we are and what we can be.

With Lan Zhan when we needed to have that conversation, we both needed me to ask him to come to me. With you and I, it's different.

I think what we need is for me to ask to come to you.

Can I come to Lotus Pier so we can continue this in person, shidi? That's not too much to ask for is it?

Wei Wuxian

****

Written on talisman paper in the shape of a glowing paperman with a paper whip, with a small wrapped package strapped to its back. The package contained a Jiang clarity bell. The paperman appeared early in the morning on Wei Wuxian's chest where he was lying in bed with Lan Wangji:

Shixiong,

You're an idiot.

Come home.

I'll be waiting.

Jiang Cheng

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