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Never To Be Removed (oh my stars I just gave a Steve Miller Au fic a serious title what is HAPPENING)

Chapter 2: Oh My Stars, And They Were Crewmates

Notes:

I didn't actually originally think I was gonna write this one, but I figured y'all deserved this. As does the crew, let's be honest. Hope you enjoy it!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Eleven days.

That was how long it had been since Kanan had escaped the Star Destroyer above Mustafar and defeated the Grand Inquisitor. And every day he woke up incredibly grateful for it.

He was healing, slowly but surely, from the wounds inflicted by the torture he’d gone through, both emotional and physical. Having his crew around him helped more than Kanan could express. Jyn’s quiet support, Ezra’s boundless enthusiasm, even Zeb and Kasmir’s snark— it pushed him to keep going, lifted his spirits past the fear and the pain his imprisonment had filled him with.

And Hera had, of course. Always Hera.

It was eleven days since he’d escaped, and four since Hera and he had… well, Kanan wasn’t quite sure how to put it. ‘Agreed to start a relationship’ didn’t really sum up his feelings on the matter, although Kanan wasn’t quite sure what would. And saying that they were dating just felt too trite for them, too normal. He’d heard people call their significant others their partner, which was a little more right but also a bit advanced for two people who’d been pining hopelessly for close to eight years and been kissing for the past few days. 

But Kanan didn’t spend a lot of time thinking about that. Most of his time, he spent thinking about Hera.

Force, Hera. Sometimes he was still a little shocked that this was happening, that Hera Syndulla chose to smile at him like that, to kiss him. He was consistently shocked and amazed and, well, grateful for it, for a relationship like this.

It was strange, how their dynamic was so normal, yet different at the same time. They still worked flawlessly together, still made decisions as a team and bantered like friends.

But there were also the small smiles Hera shot him sometimes when no one was looking. The way their touches seemed to linger for a little longer than usual, and the way Kanan had started purposefully staying up later just to be around her more. The past few days had been filled with stolen moments together. They were moving slowly, but that was okay with Kanan. For one thing, it was what Hera wanted and needed. For another, it was almost better this way, taking each step in their relationship slowly but surely.

One step they still hadn’t taken, however, was telling the others. Hera clearly wasn’t in a hurry— Kanan knew she was a little self-conscious about it, and he was okay with it for now. Besides, it had only been four days. They’d tell the rest of the crew eventually.

They’d just returned from a mission to pick up supplies for the Rebellion. Upon their arrival at the dropsite, the Empire had shown up almost immediately. There had been a bit of a firefight, and Kanan was still thanking the Force and every one of his lucky stars that no one had been hurt. They’d only barely escaped with the cargo, and Kanan had been able to tell by Hera’s voice over the comlink as they zipped away that she’d been upset. So, as the others stowed the cargo and bantered about the near miss with surprising ease, Kanan slipped away and headed up to the cockpit.

He passed Chopper on the way up— the droid was heading down to the cargo bay, and Kanan was sure that some kind of chaos would ensue shortly after. But that meant Hera was alone in the cockpit, which Kanan definitely planned to take advantage of.

He keyed open the door and stepped in, his gaze moving quickly to where Hera sat. She was staring out into the blueish-white blurs of hyperspace, her arms folded and her lips tightened in a deep frown that furrowed her brow. Something was bothering her, alright. And luckily, Kanan happened to be an expert on persuading Hera to talk to him.

“Hey,” he said, dropping into the co-pilot’s seat and swiveling to face her. “Great flying out there today. The Imps never stood a chance.”

Hera’s gaze flashed to him. “Oh— thank you. You alright?”

“Fine, as I mentioned earlier. How about you?”

“I wasn’t the one being shot at, dear,” Hera said with a hint of her usual wry wit. Which was encouraging, but not necessarily what Kanan was looking for right now.

Shaking his head, he replied, “That’s not what I mean. Is something going on?” He saw her expression flicker to the mask of calm as she opened her mouth to reassure him, and cut her off. “Hera. Don’t. We’ve talked about this— I’m not one of the kids, you don’t have to hide this stuff from me. That’s not the point of this, remember?”

Hera let out a huff of mild irritation, but the mask faded away, and she turned her chair to face him properly. “I know, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to hide things from you, I just don’t want to be a burden—”

“Which we’ve also talked about,” Kanan said, giving her a look. “You’re not a burden to me. Never could be. Now, what’s going on?”

Reluctantly, Hera said, “I’m… worried. About the Empire. It seems like they’re catching on more quickly these days, and Lothal’s being monitored so closely. It’s getting harder and harder to fight back.”

“True,” Kanan agreed. “But that’s a good thing, right? It means our efforts are working, that we’ve worried them enough that they have to put up a proper resistance.”

Nodding, Hera said, “I know. You have a point— I’m just a little worried about the kids.”

“Join the club,” Kanan said with a sigh. “If I could, I’d ship every last one of them halfway across the galaxy.”

Hera laughed at that, which hadn’t been his goal. But he counted it as a win nonetheless. “Please. You’d miss them way too much to do that, and you’d be worrying even more than you do now.”

“Maybe,” Kanan admitted. “And they’d murder me if I tried it. Which leads me to my point that they can handle themselves. Both based on what we taught them and their skills. They are more than capable of handling this fight, and we can’t shield them forever. Although I really want to, sometimes.”

“I can’t blame you,” Hera agreed. “But you’re right, of course.” She hesitated, then added softly, “I’m worried about you, too.”

Kanan felt a small smile turn up the corner of his mouth, and he shifted a little closer to her, so their knees were almost touching. “I can handle myself pretty well, too, you know,” he murmured, reaching out to catch hold of one of her hands.

Her expression softened, and she gave his hand a squeeze. “I know, Kanan. Don’t ever think I doubt you— I just don’t want to lose you.”

“I don’t want to lose you, either,” Kanan said quietly. “So trust me when I say I know how you’re feeling. And at this point… all I really think we can do is trust each other to take care of themselves. Trust in the Force, too, maybe.” Making a wry face, he said, “I know, I sound like such a Jedi.”

Hera laughed, a sound that always filled Kanan’s heart with joy. “That’s not a bad thing, love,” she said.

And Force , Kanan loved it when she called him that. Neither of them had actually said ‘I love you’, not yet. Kanan knew it was true for him, and he hoped it was true for her, too. Sometimes, he worried— but hearing her call him that always added to the confidence he felt about it.

“Feel better?” he asked.

“Talking to you always helps,” she said, a slight flush crossing her cheeks.

Raising an eyebrow, Kanan said, “That is almost sappy, Captain Hera. More of a line I would use, really.”

“It’s the truth,” she said, smacking his arm with one hand. “Don’t you get started, Kanan Jarrus.”

Grinning, Kanan said, “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

Hera rolled her eyes, her expression half amused, half exasperated. “We should probably go get the others and start figuring out our plan for the cargo drop.”

“Right, yeah, that.” Kanan allowed a mischievous grin to cross his face as he leaned forward. “Or…”

He could see Hera fighting back her own grin as she said, “We have work to do, Kanan.”

“Come on,” Kanan said, lifting an eyebrow at her. “We don’t exactly have a lot of time alone together, what with living on two different ships with eight other people. Oh, and one droid.”

“We don’t exactly have a lot of time right now, either,” Hera pointed out. “We should reach Lothal in about ten minutes.”

“That fast?” Kanan frowned. “Huh— better make this quick, then.”

He closed the distance between them, his hand gently cupping Hera’s jaw as he pressed a kiss against her lips. She immediately returned the kiss, her knees bumping into his as she shifted to be closer to him.

And of course, it was right in the middle of the kiss that the door to the cockpit hissed open.

“Hey, Kanan, Hera, Kasmir wants to know— AHHHH!”

Predictably, it was Ezra who’d spoken, his yelp of shock resounding throughout the entire ship as Kanan and Hera hastily pulled apart. Kanan glanced at the doorway, taking in the sight of his apprentice gaping at them, with an equally surprised Sabine at his side and a very amused Jyn.

“I knew it,” she said.

“How???” Sabine demanded— Kanan was wondering the same thing.

“What’s going on up there?” Kasmir bellowed from down below, and before Kanan could stop him, Ezra answered.

“Kanan and Hera were kissing!”

There was a loud crash, and Kanan groaned. “You just had to tell him,” he muttered. Hera, across from him, buried her flushed face in her hands.

The Kalleran appeared in the doorway, his eyes wide. “What?” he demanded. “Tell me everything, now. Since when? How long? Describe the kiss.”

“I’d rather not,” Ezra said, making a face, and Kanan rolled his eyes.

“It was just a kiss, kid.”

Kasmir rounded on him, his jaw dropping. “So you admit it!”

Letting out an irritated sigh, Kanan said, “Really? You want to do this now? We’re going to come out of hyperspace in ten minutes.”

“We have time,” Kasmir said, folding his arms.

“Force— fine, go down to the cargo bay, we’ll be there in a minute,” Kanan ordered them. “And if you start with the snide remarks, you won’t get your answers.”

“My lips are sealed,” Kasmir assured him. “Jyn, go get Okadiah.”

The four of them vanished from the doorway, and Kanan turned to Hera, who still had her head in her hands. “So,” he said, “that was—”

“Not ideal,” Hera finished as she looked up, her skin still flushed a darker shade of green. “I can’t believe they just… walked in.”

“Well, they’ll probably knock from now on,” Kanan said, and Hera groaned.

“Not funny. This is exactly what I wanted to avoid.”

Putting a hand on her forearm, Kanan said, “I know it’s not your favorite way for them to find out, but they had to at some point.”

“I know,” Hera said. “It’s just… a little embarrassing.”

Giving her a sympathetic glance, Kanan said, “I get it. But it’s not that bad.” Unable to hold back a grin, he added, “You’re cute when you blush.”

Hera’s jaw dropped, and the hue of her green skin darkened again. Chuckling, Kanan said, “Yeah, like that.”

“You’re enjoying yourself a little too much,” Hera said, regaining her composure somewhat. “Come on, let’s go get this over with.”

The two of them headed out of the cockpit together and down to the cargo bay, where the entire crew awaited them. Zeb’s arms were folded, one brow cocked in amusement, and Kasmir wore a gleeful smirk. Ezra still looked mildly shell shocked, but Kanan noted he was impatiently pacing as they headed his way, and Sabine was bouncing up and down on her heels, while Jyn sat on one of the crates, wearing a small smirk.

Okadiah was the only one who seemed calm, and was also the first one to spot them as they descended the ladder. Crossing the cargo bay, he clasped Kanan’s hand and said, “Congratulations, son. To both of you. And may I say it’s about time?”

“Do you even know what you’re congratulating us on?” Kanan asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I have a fair idea,” Okadiah replied, eyes sparkling. “But by all means, tell us. What exactly was it that Ezra witnessed in the cockpit?”

“I think it’ll suffice to say that yes, Kanan and I are in a relationship,” Hera said calmly, her voice professional. “If this—”

Her next words were cut off by whoops from Zeb and Ezra. “About time, you two,” the Lasat said exuberantly, clapping Kanan on the back so hard he stumbled forward.

“Since when?” Sabine demanded, wearing a surprising smile.

“Couple days ago,” Kanan said. “We… talked things over, and Captain Hera realized she couldn’t live without me—” Hera elbowed him in the ribs and he yelped in mock pain. “You didn’t let me finish! I was going to say that I already knew I couldn’t live without you.”

“Very charming, dear,” Hera said, shooting him one of those private smiles that made his heartbeat speed up every time.

“Aww, you guys are so gross and adorable,” Ezra said, grinning hugely. “I’m with Okadiah, it’s about time.”

“Agreed,” Kasmir said fervently. “I hoped you two would get a move on after I talked to Captain H on Kaller—”

“You did WHAT?” Kanan gaped at the Kalleran, aghast.

“It wasn’t as bad as you think,” Hera assured him. “I promise.”

Scowling at Kasmir, Kanan muttered, “I somehow doubt that.”

“I knew something was going on with you two,” Jyn said, her tone deeply satisfied.

“Oh, yeah— how did you know that?” Kanan asked, frowning.

Jyn shrugged. “It was mainly you— Hera was pretty subtle. You kept looking at her, and not the way you usually do. It was more sappy.”

“I’ll have you know my sappiness is a strength,” Kanan muttered, and Zeb snorted.

“Not very subtle though, mate.”

“No one’s denying it,” Kanan agreed.

“Also,” Jyn cut in, “you two kept sneaking off together. And your body language around each other was different, and Hera was giving you looks, too—”

“Okay, so we’re not subtle,” Hera said, her expression embarrassed.

“Only because I know you well,” Jyn assured her. “You weren’t too obvious unless someone was paying attention. Kanan was a lot worse.”

Snorting, Kasmir muttered, “Why doesn’t that surprise me? Sorry, kid, but you’re not subtle. Captain H is a lot better at that than you.”

“Which is why we make such a good team,” Kanan said with a grin. “Besides, you didn’t notice there was anything going on, did you?”

“No,” Kasmir admitted with a huff of irritation. “But looking back it’s pretty obvious.”

“I’m sure,” Kanan said dryly, and Hera nudged him in the ribs.

“Enough, you two,” she said, giving them both a stern look. “That is beside the point, which is… yes, Kanan and I are in a relationship now. I understand this is new for everyone—”

“Not really,” Sabine said with a shrug.

“Yeah, you’ve basically been married ever since you started working together,” Ezra said with a grin.

Nodding, Kasmir said, “And all these grubby mongrels are your kids—”

“And Okadiah’s the grandpa and you’re the weird uncle,” Ezra agreed, nodding. “This is just making us being a family more official. Well, if you got married that would make it really official.”

“The kid’s got a point there,” Kanan murmured, and was delighted to see Hera flush slightly.

“Don’t you start,” she warned him.

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Kanan assured her.

“Uh-huh.” Hera’s tone was totally unconvinced, one eyebrow raised in deep skepticism at him.

“Yep, I was right,” Ezra said, his voice gleefully amused. “This is pretty much how you always act around each other. Except a little more flirty.”

“The only way things are really gonna have to change is the kid’s gonna have to start knocking before he goes into rooms, apparently,” Zeb said, snickering as Ezra turned red.

“That was an accident! They were the ones who were kissing in a public place!”

“Since when is the cockpit a public place?”

Leaning closer to Hera as the two started to bicker, Kanan muttered, “They’ve definitely got a point about us being the parents to a lot of kids.”

“Oh, I’ve never disagreed with you there, dear,” Hera said wryly. Raising her voice, she said, “Alright you two, that’s enough. We’re coming out of hyperspace in a few minutes, and we’re going to have to move fast. Jyn, Kasmir, Ezra, I want you three unloading the crates the minute we touch down. Kanan, Zeb, Sabine, you’re on guard. Chopper, I want you and Okadiah monitoring Imperial channels in case they catch us. Everyone got it?”

There was a chorus of acknowledgements, and everyone hurried off to do their jobs. As Kasmir passed Kanan, he muttered, “Congrats, kid. Glad you two got everything figured out.”

“Thanks,” Kanan said quietly, feeling a small smile crossing his face.

It vanished a few seconds later, however, when Chopper, who’d been observing the whole situation quietly from a distance, rolled up to him and rammed deliberately into his legs. Kanan bit back a curse as the droid started beeping threats of what he would do to Kanan if he hurt Hera, with increasingly disturbing details.

“Okay, okay— Chopper, relax! Zeb already gave me this talk, you know.” As Chopper grumbled something about his opinions on Zeb, Kanan continued, “And I promise you, I don’t plan to hurt Hera. If I do, you can be second in line to beat me up.”

“Am I first?” Hera asked, and Kanan turned to see her paused next to the ladder, giving him an amused look.

“I was thinking that would be me, actually,” he replied. “But now that you mention it, ladies first.”

She laughed. “Get a move on, love. Two minutes until we leave hyperspace.”

“On it, Captain Hera.” Kanan darted towards the cargo bay, feeling himself grinning like an idiot. Force , he was crazy about this woman. He knew Zeb and the others would have plenty of mocking remarks about his expression when he got down to the cargo bay— but he honestly didn’t care. Not with the memory of Hera’s smile and her voice calling him love tucked inside his heart, where he already knew it would never leave. 

Which, quite frankly, was exactly the way Kanan wanted it.

Notes:

So! It finally happened. And it only took me sixteen-ish fan fics!! Full disclosure it was gonna take a LOT longer originally, but I like this better
Unfortunately, the Steve Miller Au and I are taking a little break on posting, because I have run out of material yet again. It'll be a while before you hear from this au-- I kinda have to write season two of Star Wars: Rebels. It's a whole thing lol
But I will be updating my Jacen Syndulla fic, and I have some fun stuff I'll be putting on my Tumblr at some point! So if you want to check that out on there I'm @kanerallels. See y'all when I see ya!
(and for the record, I will be back to posting in this au. I've gotten this far, I'm NOT giving up. It'll just be a while. Until then, may the Force be with you!)

Notes:

"Then I examined my own heart. And there you were. Never, I fear, to be removed".

--- "Emma", by Jane Austen

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